You know in the old days, people used to find the time in their daily lives to visit with one another. They would pause in their day between work and chores to take a few minutes and catch up with their neighbors or friends by standing by the backyard fence and shooting the breeze with one another. If people were really lucky and got all of their work done…or, perhaps had a little extra time on the weekend; they might invite someone to sit down together on the front porch and have a good old fashioned conversation. These days, people do most of their connecting with one another online…either through a blog, a mini-blog or perhaps a social networking site. These things can really be viewed as an updated front porch or a digital backyard fence.
People share recipes online, learn about parenting skills from one another, they shop online, they listen to music and they “go to the movies” by watching movies online; believe it or not…people even do business together in theses places! These are the things people used to do together with people that they knew in their community. Everyone sort of knew everyone else in their own communities; that is not how it is these days. Today, some people have never even met their next door neighbor, let alone spent time developing a deeper relationship.
We’ve really become much too busy these days in our society; and by doing so, we have isolated ourselves from a crucial need to connect with one another; and, to communicate in a way that helps us to feel as if we are still woven in the fabric of a small community, where people know you and care about you. This is why social media sites or blogs and mini-sites such as Twitter are so popular. I have to say that it is no less important to create relationships in this way as opposed to the traditional way. One just has to remember to be a little more careful about sharing personal, private information.
Online, you can’t hear the tone of voice of the people you communicate with; nor can you see their body language or judge the interpersonal relationships that they have with the real life people involved with them. The appearance of these sites gives the impression of a small, close knit community…but in reality, the internet encompasses the whole world. You can be fooled into thinking that you “know” someone online. It feels easy in some ways to develop and emotional closeness to the people you communicate with online. It is important to remember that you ONLY know what that person wants you to know about them. Be careful. There are some ways to protect yourself, if you can just remember to do so.
First off…you can take your time in developing your communication with people online. There is no time frame that determines how quick you must make a decision about which friends deserve your trust; you don’t have to develop a relationship with everyone who reaches out to you. Have you ever met someone in person and thought they were great to be around, only to get to know them better and wish you had never met? Well this can happen online too. Some people don’t respect boundaries and are not healthy to interact with. In fact… you do not have to continue to interact with someone online if you choose not to. So don’t be too quick to give out your email, or your home phone number, and never give out your physical address. If you do “talk” with someone…really listen to what they say…not only to you, but to others online. Connect with some of their other online relationships. You can learn alot from watching how someone interacts with others online when they don’t know you are there. Do not rush into meeting someone online…especially do not meet them alone; even if they live in your area! This is important.
Do not share personal identifying information with them about your daily life. People have found themselves in serious danger or trouble with someone who didn’t respect appropriate boundaries. Keep things light…keep them simple. Have fun…but, never forget to be safe in your online relationships. You will meet many wonderful people on the internet. There are so many interesting people out there, doing wonderful things; and, they are talking about important events and sharing knowledge with one another. Just think of each of these blogs, mini-blogs and social networking sites as neighborhoods. Every neighborhood has its plusses and it has its minuses…but, online there isn’t the safety net of an online neighborhood watch! Dont be too quick to trust others that you’ve only known online. You must remember to take common sense precautions and protect yourself while you are chatting up the neighborhood.
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Oh, my precious Rainy–you and I have been virtual digital fence chatters for over a year now. I have been enriched by your wit and wisdom and my life has been richly blessed, even though you and I have never met face to face!
Since we live in different states it’s amazing that we have transcended the geography and bonded so closely. No doubt our shared values keep us on the same wave length.
Thank you for yet another wonderful blog post-one that exceeds even YOUR Gold Standard.
Hugs,
Mother Connie