He’s stated that he has not met them in real life.  His credibility is being called into question because of the lies he initially told regarding the scandal.  His judgment is part of that controversy in regards to his career. Many people are wondering whether someone who would lie to his constituents, his family, his friends, and the media could do his job with honesty and integrity.

Anthony says that he admitted to his wife of 11 months, before they got married, of his inappropriate online relationships that took place before his marriage; but it appears, that she was not aware of his recent interactions.  His wife, Huma Abedin works for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.  Media reports say she is consulting with the Clintons about how to save Anthony’s job in the shadow of the scandal.

Questions abound in our world about the role that social media plays in the lives of everyday people and people who are famous, public figures, or people in roles of leadership.  How people conduct themselves online has a direct affect on their work, their reputations and in their relationships both online and off.

Whether Mr. Weiner is able to retain his position as a lawmaker will depend on what information is garnered through the ethics investigation that Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi has asked for.  If he has violated the rules of conduct or has used government resources in these circumstances…he could lose his standing among his fellow lawmakers not to mention other repercussions if any laws were broken.  His marital relationship has to be addressed as well; counseling would probably be advised for the best possible outcome, if they wish to heal the damage.  The pressure has to be tremendous as many people are calling for him to resign; which at this point, he has refused to do.  One would hope that in his quest to save his job, that he doesn’t sweep the issues under the rug that allowed him to make choices that were so potentially detrimental to his well-being.

It is human nature to try to avoid consequences when we screw up…however, the responsibility of a person in the position that he holds requires that he hold himself to a higher standard than most.  I am sure that he wishes he could go back and undo what he says he has done regarding posting those pictures and writing allegedly sexually charged exchanges with those women.  His actions supposedly goes back a few years…so this is not new behavior.  Yet, it was unchecked because he has continued to reach out through digital means & through the phone to women who are not his spouse to interact with racy exchanges.  It is said that these types of relationships can become addictive.  We know that they can be destructive.  It will take a lot of work to regain trust and respect of those people in his life that he had those things from, before this behavior came to light.

The whole situation goes beyond Democrat/Republican politics…because it doesn’t matter what a person’s political stance…this issue is a human issue.  I hope it doesn’t get turned into that kind of a discussion…because outside of his particular offense… both political parties struggle with individuals who have made serious mistakes in their behavior regarding sexual boundaries and values.  Immoral behavior is immoral behavior…no matter what party you belong to; in my opinion.

In any case, Anthony Weiner will have to show true remorse and take steps to correct the mind-set that allowed him to place himself in such a position as to lose ground as a lawmaker, and as a new husband.  In America we do believe in second chances and the opportunity to turn your life around…whether he will deserve that opportunity to go back and restore his reputation will depend on what they find out from the investigation, how he handles that information; and, whether he reforms how he conducts himself in the future.

Trust, dependability, integrity, honesty = a person’s reputation…the value of those attributes are immeasurable.  A person’s name and reputation is important.  There were so many plays on Anthony Weiner’s name in the last few days in the news headlines…but, truthfully, all that kept running through my mind was a little advertising commercial jingle that Oscar Mayer had on television, years ago, as I grew up.

IF I remember right, it goes like this.  “oh I wish I was an Oscar Mayer wiener, that is what I truly want to be; cause, If I was an Oscar Mayer wiener, everyone would be in love with me”.   Right about now, I would imagine that Anthony Weiner wishes his first name was Oscar, so that he too could have the love and support of all the American people, much like the kind of relationship the company Oscar Mayer has been able to forge over the years with the public.  Then again, to the best of my knowledge, that company has never been involved in any kind of scandalous behavior…

What is your opinion on the situation with Anthony Weiner…should he remain in office?

That being said…even those mother’s have done something to be remembered for, and that is for bringing their children into the world.  At the most basic level…giving life is something to honor; since not every woman who discovers she is pregnant makes the choice to give birth to her child.  If you had a mother who only functioned at a bare minimum, then I hope you had another woman who filled a mother- like role in your life, encouraging, teaching, praising and loving you; someone to step in and protect you.  Acknowledge that person on mother’s day and don’t let the negative emotions in regards to whether a birth mother was mother of the year or not; choose to celebrate love.

I’ve been blessed and I want to take a moment to celebrate love.  A few years ago, we were told that my mother had an enlarged heart.  This was traumatic as my mother was/is one of those women who loved and encouraged her children as we grew up.  She continues to do this.  Now her medical condition has been treated with medication and close monitoring; we are grateful for that.  However, it got me to thinking about mothers who love deeply.

I thought about the changes that happen when a woman is pregnant.  Her emotions change, her mind changes as she makes decisions that she feels are the best for her and her child.  Hopefully, she has a loving and supportive mate to help her as she parents her child…not everyone does.  A pregnant woman’s spirit changes too…she has to think beyond herself and how the life of the child she carries will be influenced by the choices she makes in life.  Finally, her body changes…oh you know the usual: weight gain, swollen ankles, varicose veins…hemorrhoids…headaches and cravings.  The important change I think for a woman who really wants to be a mother, is that her heart enlarges…it makes room for more love than you can imagine a heart to contain.

That love is what builds a life that can withstand problems, challenges, and negativity that is sure to come their way as they live their lives.  That love is what opens the door to the good things in life that are meant to be enjoyed and nurtured.  That love is what keeps the human race continuing.

I think mothers who chose to love and are loved in return should be celebrated.  If you didn’t get that, from the luck of the draw, at the moment of your conception & birth…you can still find it. Everyone wants and needs that kind of love in their life.  Be sensitive towards those who you know have a hard time at this time of year due to abandonment issues, abuse, neglect or due to the death of their mother figure.  Be a role model and encourage those who are sad or lonely or feeling cheated in the mother department.

This world is full of women who have enlarged hearts and are willing to share them.  Find someone to celebrate the good things in your life with.  Whether it be as a sister, a friend, an auntie, a grandma, a daughter…a teacher, a neighbor or a pen pal; a mother’s heart can be found in a multitude of relationships.  Let yourself love and be loved.  Don’t let a broken biological accident of birth scar you into a negative mother’s day.  Find someone who can share an enlarged heart with you…and give & receive the best that life has to offer…a truly wonderful Mother’s Day!

The thing is, death is permanent.  Suicide is a false solution to their problem.   Problems, even problems that seem overwhelming and beyond a person’s ability to see past it…problems come and go.  Life is full of them…big, small, and in-between problems.   There is hope…but they may need help in seeing it and believing in getting beyond what is troubling them.   However, if a person’s coping skills are influenced by depression, abuse, post traumatic stress, neglect or drug/alcohol abuse then, they may mistakenly think that suicide is a way out.

There is no way around it…destruction is close at hand when a person is to the point of thinking about suicide IF they do not seek professional help to deal with whatever is driving them to this point.  Sometimes, an individual is beyond seeking help on their own power; and a family member, friend or acquaintance is forced to intervene by contacting either a health care professional, a member of clergy or spiritual adviser, or the police in some cases to force a person to seek help.  This is not easy and the laws regarding forcing someone to seek help are different in each state.

It is a hard decision to even consider stepping in.  Most of us don’t want to be put in the position of interfering in another person’s personal life.   In fact, most people will err on the side of caution and allow desperate situations to go on too long.  Out of respect for that person’s privacy we might tip toe around the subject hoping not to offend.  I say it is better to possibly offend a person than to lose them to suicide; if you are wrong and they are not suicidal, you can always let them know that you cared enough about them to risk their upset, rather than risk losing them to suicide.

Still, I bring all of this up because recently it seems that there have been a rash of suicides.  Some of them made the news, some of them were in local communities and some of them affected people that I know.  It makes me sad because there is always a high cost when a person takes their own life; it isn’t only the person who dies who suffers either.

Suicide can affect anyone.  Shock is the most obvious reaction when someone takes their life.  The people who knew them will often say…I had no idea that they were thinking about it.  Suicide can be in the mind of your parent, child, spouse, clergy/spiritual leader, teacher, friend, an isolated elder, neighbor, a member of our military personnel…or, just about anyone who is living or breathing.  Just so you know, it doesn’t matter how much money they have, where they live or who they know…suicide can be lurking in the mind of a person who is having a difficult time in their life.

You see, friends, acquaintances, and loved ones of people who commit suicide suffer terribly in their grief.  They chase their thoughts round in round about what they missed, how they could have helped, what could have been done differently, why they still live when the person who died is gone.  Some even need counseling to deal with their emotions for a very long time.  Many even get to the point where they, too, struggle with finding joy in life because they feel guilty for having moments of joy, laughter, successes or celebrations.

The person who has died does not know this.  They no longer are capable of seeing how their death affects people who are left behind.   Even people in their community who barely knew them.  You see, we all have an impact in this life whether you realize how many lives you touch or not…every life has value.

People struggle in life…we can help those at risk of suicide by trying to be aware of what they are going through.  Most of us are not qualified to help someone through severe depression or feelings of ending it all by committing suicide…but, we can all be more aware of the signs of when someone is in trouble.  We can urge someone to seek medical/emotional/spiritual professional help.  We can be encouragers, listeners and friends.  Get the phone numbers and addresses of counselors, organizations and mental health care providers in your area.  In an emergency, call 911 if you feel someone is in danger.  You might not only save their life…but you might save an innocent bystander as well.

There was a tragic story yesterday of a woman who was involved in an alleged domestic situation where there was great emotional turmoil.  Her Aunt called the authorities after the woman called a family member and said they would all have to forgive her because she was about to do something crazy.  Her children’s father was allegedly cheating on her.  This distraught New York woman, allegedly put her four children into her vehicle and drove two minutes from her home off of a ramp into some water…killing herself and three of her children.  Her fourth child, a ten year old, managed to roll down a window and by a miracle got out of the vehicle alive.  Her very young children never had a chance.  It sounds like law enforcement was there within 17 minutes…but, it only took her two to drive into the water.   What horrible consequences to a temporary situation.

In her apparent desperation, this was her solution to the problem of a cheating spouse.  It made sense to her at the time.  To those of us outside of her situation; we can see how desperate and out of control she had to be to endanger not only herself, but her children’s life.  Whether he really was cheating or not, it doesn’t matter (well it does…but, that is between him and God); but, her belief that he was cheating triggered her suicidal and homicidal response.  This is a tragedy all the way around.

There are survivors…not only the ten year old child who will struggle to have a normal life since he survived and his siblings did not…but there are other relatives, the spouse, the neighbors, the children’s school mates, church members, community members and so on.  This kind of thing leaves a big scar.

I want to share with you information about awareness and the prevention of suicide by printing a link to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Organization.

We live in a time of great stress.  We have wars going on, natural disasters, man-made disasters, terrorism, accidents, financial losses and domestic violence…you get the idea.  Update:  Last night the news shared even more devastating news about the New York mom who drove into the Hudson River with her children in the car.  It seems that after she drove in she realized what she had done was a mistake.  Her 10 year old child said, She kept saying “I made a mistake, I made a mistake”.  This is so sad…but it does illustrate my earlier point…the person in distress doesn’t really want to die or in this case cause others to die…they just want the pain to end.

I thought that he appeared to have his emotions under control…but, he became evasive in his eye contact and his body language definitely became more rigid.  He was angry, you could see that…but; he tried to redirect the line of questioning back towards his music.  It was uncomfortable to watch; I thought both he and Robin were uncomfortable.  In fact, Robin appears to hold herself away from him through her body language.  I felt the barely concealed hostility directed towards her from my computer screen.   Robin is always so natural on the television screen and yet I sensed that she was very uncomfortable.

Robin has interviewed him in the past, regarding the abuse issue; in fact, I thought that the previous interview was much more at ease than this one.  They seemed to have established a fragile balance in their roles of interviewer and interviewee.  That is what is so puzzling about the new allegation that arose after the interview today.  With his new music being released, this interview could have been a, turning the corner kind of interview.  One where he never again would have had to address the past…it is unfortunate that it did not turn out to be that kind of moment.

It is alleged that he went to his dressing room and busted out a window that crashed down on the road and sidewalk, in Times Square, below the building in a rage over the interview.  As far as I know, there were no injuries…however, there could have been.  Unless members of his entourage saw him do it…there were no witnesses to what actually took place behind his dressing room door; even though GMA staff allegedly became concerned over some loud noises and called security.  Chris Brown was photographed leaving the studio shirtless.

If it IS true that Chris did in fact bust out that window in some sort of uncontrolled rage over this interview…I would say that this young man has done himself a lot of damage.  He was on probation after the domestic violence situation with Rhianna.  I wonder if he is off of probation or if this alleged incident at Good Morning America will come back to haunt him legally.

Some are saying that Chris Brown agreed to the questions that Robin Roberts was going to ask him regarding the past BEFORE the interview.  Even if he had not though; he certainly had to be aware that interviewers would address the whole subject because the restraining order forbidding contact with Rhianna that was just recently lifted.

Sherry Shepard, from The View, seemed to communicate that she thought that IF he did in fact lose control and bust the window that the public would be pretty unforgiving regarding his behavior.  I tend to agree.  I think he appeared to have worked hard on himself after the original loss of control with Rihanna and he came across in the media as someone who was trying to relearn how to conduct himself more appropriately when angry.  In fact, in the interview with Robin he said that he didn’t think it would be a problem (bumping into Rihanna in public now that the restraining order was lifted); that all of that was in the past and he was beyond all of that and moving forward with his music.

The truth of the matter is…IF he did in fact lose control today…he comes across as a person with very little improvement over managing his anger.  Some witnesses said that he appeared livid after the interview.  He probably was doing a slow burn inside of his head.    Those who exhibit patterns of domestic violence towards others really have very little control over themselves and therefore their behavior is really an attempt at controlling their immediate environment and those in it.

Another truth here is that, Robin Roberts is a sensitive woman.   I would be willing to say that she has to feel awful that this talented young man possibly fell back into old patterns of behavior because of his interview on her morning news show.  Robin is a Christian…and, I do not believe that she would deliberately take joy in seeing Chris Brown fail and fall due to their interview.  I think of Rihanna too…she must be cringing inside thinking of all of the attention that this moment in time will re-ignite over a part of the past that she and Chris shared.   She cared for him at one time and maybe she still does.

It is all very sad and concerning.   What will happen in this young man’s life to bring him to a place where he can handle conflict and anger and to a place where others in his life feel confident that he will not repeat old patterns of violent behavior.  Update:

Since I wrote this post…I read news accounts saying that Chris Brown is still on probation…but that ABC will not prosecute Chris.  They have offered to let him come back on GMA and let him tell his side of the story.  Just a short time ago, I saw Gayle King had done an interview with Robin Roberts telling her side of the issue.   I found the interview very informative.  I am posting a link to it here:  Gayle King

Within the first few tweets on their page, I saw tweets prompting the reader to “learn how to play poker”, to buy a specific insurance, to learn about electronic cigarettes, to team up with a beer company to buy the best T-shirts promoting beer, get a payday loans, promoting certain credit cards…etc. I understand the need to make money.  I get that churches struggle to raise funds…but, to me this smacks of leading people into financial slavery, gamboling, destructive health habits, encouraging addictions and gives a stamp of approval to activities that ought not to be encouraged.

This is a church that is “sold out” plain and simple.  If you don’t get my drift; these are paid ads that this pastor and church are condoning by putting tweets up on their page and trying to make money off of each link.  Understand, this is only my opinion; however, some of these are things that are being promoted are contrary to traditional teachings of the scriptures.

Can I tell you what I didn’t see on this Pastor’s Twitter stream?  There was no mention of God,no  Godly things, no tweeting of scripture…no building up of the spiritual nature of the readers…no encouragement to seek a relationship with God.  It upsets me…because I do believe in the power of social media to influence people; because of that, I believe that this pastor and his church are missing the mark.  Not only are they wasting the opportunity to win souls for Christ…they are in effect…leading them away from a life that is dedicated to strengthening the readers relationship with salvation and living a life of service for God.

How do you feel when you hear or see such things?  To me it feels like spiritual prostitution.  I would not want to be judged by God for erring in such a hurtful way to the Kingdom of God.  Scripture says that to those that have been given much, much is expected in return.  They have the opportunity to win souls for Christ and they had best be about the Heavenly Father’s business. It is hard to have respect for Gods values when some teachers, preachers and those in spiritual leadership make it appear as if it is ok to participate in these areas of life that God instructs us to avoid.

Do you challenge yourself to be authentic to your Christian faith online?  How do you make sure that you aren’t contrasting what you say you believe with your personal conduct and interactions online?

My own personal belief is that homosexuality is wrong…a sin if you will, however, I do not think that this group or any group has the right to protest at someone’s funeral.  This is a time for a family & friends to grieve and honor their loved ones.    I think that Westboro’s conduct or behavior is shameful for a church and shows a lack of compassion or love for their fellow man/woman; and, that there are better ways to communicate their beliefs or faith.  To me it is now more like a legal sort of bullying that has the stamp approval from the Supreme Court (except for one Supreme Court Justice).

Much of the controversy comes from the fact that most of the protests include signs and words that label individuals as gays, fags or homosexuals…or sinners going to hell because of their ethnicity (Jews-non Christian), race, or religion that Westboro claims are false religions.  Many of these protests have been at funerals for military personnel who have gone to war to protect the freedoms of fellow Americans.  I think it is an outrage that a ceremony of grief for family and friends could be violated by these “protests” that exude hatred and disrespect.  While I think that most Americans would say that they have a right to their opinion…with or without a law to back it up; I believe that what is most upsetting is that their right to say it in whatever form they choose, feels as if they are stepping over the rights of those who they are protesting against.

The Westboro Baptist Church calls themselves Christian…but they do not appear to show the love of God.  Scripture says that homosexual behavior is an abomination/sin.   Yet scripture also says to love the sinner but hate the sin.  What these protests communicate has nothing of love associated with them.  It is all negative words and actions.

My feeling is that since the Supreme Court has upheld their right to protest at the funerals, and in public venues against whomever they decide to protest against; not out of any great love for Westboro’s beliefs and standards, but out of a sense of protecting everyone’s right to freedom of speech; I would like to know where responsibility comes into the discussion.  When people have a freedom of speech…do they not have a responsibility not to cause harm?

Accusing people of being a homosexual, or of belonging to, or promoting a “false” religion…can cause harmful consequences.  Denigrating a person because of their race, or religion appears to come across as an unnecessarily cruel use of words to get their beliefs known.  To me it also seems counterproductive, if their goal is to persuade others to their way of thinking.  These protests can “cost” a community or city a great deal of money to intervene with police protection to prevent violence from breaking out in certain circumstances.  Are there no legal repercussions for a group to take into consideration the harm that they can inflict upon a group or an individual, or even a community by the words that they fling towards others?

Do you think that the Westboro Baptist Church should be allowed to continue doing what they are doing?  Do you think that their actions reflect badly on other Christians?  Now that the Supreme Court has upheld their right to continue these protests, do you think that they will increase their protests around the country?  How do you feel about what they do at these protest?  Is it the American way to allow it to continue…or an outrage?

That show, called Two and a Half Men, has stopped production on their show for the rest of the season; since Charlie has made a public statement on interviews that disparages the producers of the show, television show creator Chuck Lorre, Alcoholic Anonymous, his ex wife, and women in general.   He says horribly vile things about Chuck Lorre and shows nothing but contempt for women, in my opinion, when he says things about women such as he has fame and those women have nothing and that all they will ever have is that night with him and that he will forget about them as soon as they leave.  He says that he is “special” and will never be one of the AA because they are a “bootleg cult”.  Seriously? 

It comes across through many of these examples that he considers himself above everyone else.  He believes that he alone cured his (in his opinion) so called disease with his own mind.  He has made recent statements to the fact that he is in control of his partying.   The truth of the matter is that he couldn’t be more wrong.  He has been in legal trouble for alleged domestic violence, he has had custody issues with his ex-wife who does try to support him in public while at the same time  tries to shield their daughters from the horror of these out of control antics that are harming him physically, emotionally, spiritually,professionally, and financially. His young sons with his second wife are very young…but they will grow up with the legacy of their father’s public displays as well.

People who work with individuals who struggle with addictions will give you all of the facts on how addicts fool themselves into thinking that they are “in control” and the rest of the world is the one with a problem.  Charlie may not live on the streets, he might not be homeless, he might not be stealing to support his habits…but he is in denial about his lifestyle choices and the effect that it is having on those who care about him (meaning his friends and family).

He has children that are growing up; and they are now, and will continue to be affected by his behavior and the choices that he makes.  He has a famous brother Emilio Estevez and then of course, there is his father Martin Sheen they have stepped up and said they continue to love him, support him and pray for him.  He has ex-wives who love him enough to try to work through their issues to maintain some sort of relationship for their children. Who can help an adult who is in a situation such as this? Can he be forced to get help through an emergency order? Is he having some sort of emotional breakdown or is he just acting out because of the damage caused by his partying?  He appears to feel all powerful and that no one has the right to tell him no, or draw a line in the sand regarding his conduct.   He has fans that he asks to support him; even though he is acting in ways that are hard to support.  He wants them to help him fight against the injustice of it all…saying that his fans are his people…not “theirs”.

In response, to the decision of his show stopping production, he slams the powers that be for stopping it…saying that they are keeping money from him, his family, and the crew of the show.   In my opinion however, if they continued to produce the show they would be irresponsible…enablers of a man who seems to be bent on self-destruction.  A week or two ago, there were articles that claimed that Charlie said that he only partied when he was bored and not working.  When he was working, he says, he was fine.   There are consequences to behaviors…and recent pictures of him show him possibly having had his teeth affected by his conduct.

Relationships suffer, professional connections become damaged and finances can become scarce because of a persons addictions.  In his case, this doesn’t just affect Charlie…he has a whole crew that is going to suffer consequences because of this situation.   A professional intervention needs to happen, because even though he says he is clean…that doesn’t mean he is stable.   I say, if he isn’t careful to get medical help, put his rehab knowledge and education to heart, and live addiction free…he is going to be bored to DEATH; and, we will be reading Charlie’s very sad obituary.

That would be a terrible waste of life; how much better to see him find his way to health and wellness and use his experience to help others in the same situation?  People who do not have fame, fortune or money deal with addictions too and the consequences are no less severe for them or their loved ones.

What are your thoughts? Do you love someone who struggles with addictions?  What have you done to survive the ups and downs?  Where did you find help?

Many of the comments that I overheard were negative and directed at my daughter.  All three girls have dominant personalities but what I was getting a glimpse of was what you would call verbal bullying.  Early the next day we had activities to go to so I wasn’t hearing much but I didn’t like some of what I did hear.   Even more importantly, when negative comments were made regarding my daughter she did not speak up or against what was being said.

When I would hear the tone of voice or the partial conversations that made me go…ummm what was that you said; all I got for clarification was , “oh nothing, never mind”.  That only made me listen closer.

So it was on the drive delivering the girls to their home that I was in a better position to hear clearly a couple of comments that I felt were so outrageous and disrespect or demeaning that I had to address it.  Now, understand…these girls weren’t purposely trying to be cruel.

I feel that they were more unaware of what they were doing…and yet, it had to be talked about.  I expressed to them that friends did not speak that way to one another.  Friendship I said can last a lifetime if the people involved take the time to care for one another, support and encourage one another.   I said that there are enough people in this world ready, willing and able to tear you down, make fun of you, disrespect you and try to make you feel small.  I said that it was unacceptable for them to speak to one another that way.  It had to stop.  That it was unhealthy.

My concern was two fold…one that my daughter’s self-esteem not be damaged by “friends” whose opinions mean a great deal to my daughter and two that her friends understand that this kind of behavior was not only not healthy but would not be tolerated.  Those girls as well as my daughter needed to understand that self esteem and relationships go hand in hand and that they form at a young age how we allow ourselves to be treated in future relationships.

A damaged self esteem sets up individuals for entering into abusive relationships.  An individual who abuses others in a relationship often end up in very unhealthy relationships later in life as well.   I don’t want any of either of those types of relationships for these three young ladies.

People who are involved in dysfunctional relationships are often caught up in depression, drugs/alcohol abuse, violence, pre-marital sex at a young age and even teen pregnancies.  The prison systems are full of abandoned individuals who’ve gotten involved in the wrong things; because they didn’t develop healthy foundations, in their own minds, about who they are and what they deserve in life.  Too often people are told they are no good and they don’t deserve anything but emotional crumbs in their day to day lives; and it isn’t true.  Life is too short to be broken, angry, hurt and miserable.  Everyone has the right to grow up believing that they deserve the best life has to offer.

Today it seems that people just don’t know how to support one another or relate to each other in a positive way.  The world has become very negative and toxic.  Many people only concern themselves with getting their own needs met and often times they do that at the expense of others.  We need to find ways to build people up, support them, encourage them and help them to grow in positive ways.

Parents, teachers, siblings, friends and clergy need to keep tuned into the people involved in relationships with the people that they love.  Listen closely to how they speak to one another, how they treat one another and how they allow others to treat them as well.  Building healthy interactions between those we are in charge over is important.  Do you have any tips to help someone in this type of situation?

There must be an answer to help hurting hearts to understand, that what is happening to cause them pain, isn’t happening because they are a bad person, or for no apparent reason at all.  The mind and the soul just needs to make some kind of sense of it all.  Understanding tragedy is no easy task.  People have differing opinions on why bad things happen.

Some people believe that the tragedy is a punishment from God.  Others believe it is a situation that is meant to teach a life lesson to those left standing.  Others still are of the understanding that bad stuff happens for no reason at all; other than being in the wrong place, at the wrong time.  After all, why does a bad situation happen to good people?  Do Christians suffer more than non-believers?  Do non-believers suffer more than Christians? Does faith play a part in human suffering at all?

It all depends on who you talk to about the idea of suffering and faith.  Everyone has their own opinion based upon their personal experiences.  However, when someone is suffering and searching for answers, it is natural to turn to those who we are closest to for answers.

For a Christian that could be their spiritual leader, a fellow believer, friend or even a family member who is grounded in their faith.  For an unbeliever, the lack of a foundation of faith can still lead to a pathway about God.  I say that, because God will often get the blame for bad circumstances, even when a suffering person doesn’t believe in God.  Often, you will hear people say, IF there is a God, why did he let this terrible thing happen?

I  believe that is because the human soul knows for certain, deep inside that person’s mind, that God not only exists; but, he is the only one who has the answers that they seek.  A person who is committed to an unbelief in God seems to struggle more when dealing with grief or suffering, in my opinion.  I believe that is because to me, God and having a faith in eternity means having hope of moving from this life of challenges and struggles to a place called Heaven.

It is important to recognize that God can handle the unbelief, the anger, and the questions.  But for those seeking answers; it is not just about asking the questions, but more importantly, it is about getting answers.  If you ask and you seem to be going without answers; you must ask yourself the hard question; are you ready to listen, really listen and accept the answer that God has for you?

No one truly can tell you why God does what he does, why he allows the bad things to happen in life?  Only God knows all of the pieces of the puzzle that make up our life circumstances.  He alone can bring peace to your heart and mind about such things.

So how do you communicate with God.  First you must pray, ask him the question that troubles your soul.  Sometimes answers do not come immediately and that can be frustrating.  There are times when you must fast (with a dr’s approval) and pray while waiting.  Read the word of God and allow the scriptures to speak to you, words of wisdom.  Take time to meditate on the word, peacefully & quietly.  Don’t do all of the talking; listen for God’s answer.  There are times when God will use another person to speak to your heart. He will speak to you through the Bible, other people and sometimes through dreams.  He will confirm his answer to you so that you know it is of him and not just another person’s opinion or your own.

Grief at a time of loss can add to a person’s sense of suffering.  It can confuse the heart and mind of a person with anger, disbelief, anxiousness and denial.  Those things can be worked through as long as a person doesn’t get stuck in any one of those phases of grieving.  Grief is a challenging time and everyone copes with grief differently.  That is ok, as long as you ARE coping and moving forward by healing.

Allegedly there are even more sound bites from these audio recordings that have equally disturbing comments from Mel Gibson. In the past, he has been accused by some as having made disturbing comments about Jews when he was arrested.  It was said in reference to those statements, that he was under the influence.  Others would argue that what is in the heart bubbles to the surface when that person’s inhibitions are loosened up from drugs/alcohol.

This past year has seen Mr. Gibson separate from his wife of 30 years, Robyn only to publically engage in his relationship with Ms. Oksana Grigorieva.   They had a female child, Lucia, together and it is alleged by Oksana that Mel Gibson physically assaulted her by hitting her in the face, while she was holding their daughter, causing physical harm to Oksana; as well as threatening to burn down her residence. 

 Mel is now being investigated for domestic violence by law enforcement.  A tallent agency has stopped representing him in the last week as well after Mel supposedly made disparaging remarks about hispanics whom he allegedly called “wetbacks”.  His personal reputation is going through some rapid changes.   He has been a successful actor in the box office for years earning kudos from the entertainment world and from fans alike. 

These audio tapes, if proven to be his voice, are not going to help Mel Gibson dispell the impression that he is guilty of domestic violence when the tone of voice, that is alleged to be him, states the Oksana looks like a whore, has fake breasts and that she dresses in a provocative way; the male voice goes on to say that if she is attacked and raped by a pack of (N-word insulting name for African Americans) then she DESERVES that. 

No-one deserves to be raped EVER by ANYONE; and I think, if he did make those statesment that it will be hard to regain any semblance of respect from people who believe as I do that it is wrong to say such things as well as to believe it.   Also, the voice on the tape seems to dismiss Oksana by saying things such as I do not trust you, I don’t love you and I don’t want you; these are meant to tear down and diminish the context of their relationship.  It was a relationship that would not be condoned by the church because it was outside of a marriage situation; still, he chose to indulge in a relationship with her so to talk in such a way about her is insulting on many levels.   Whoa, talk about offensive!

I mean, obviously she was a good enough woman to have sex with; as evidenced by the birth of their child.  He was attracted to her enough for that.   He stepped outside of his marriage to have the relationship with Oksana.   Yet, in the same vein, she is a whore; beneath contempt evidenced by his alleged words.   These are the mixed up thoughts of a man who has not come to the understanding of the wholeness of an intimate relationship.  I mean, you can’t have sex with a person outside of marriage and condem them without also condeming yourself.  If she is a whore…then what makes him any different than her?  Is this self hate that he is directing at her because he can’t sort it out in his own head?  You have to wonder if his relationship with Oksana is the only illicit relationship that he has indulged in; maybe guilt is eating him alive.

How do you go from being in a marriage of over 30 years; to starting a new relationship with a woman who is not your wife, while still married and with whom you create a child; and then espouse your intense dislike and disrespect for that same person in such a way as to try to demean them as a person and as a woman.   Inflicting alleged verbal, emotional and physical abuse upon them for the very acts that you willingly engaged in; when you yourself are a willing participant in the relationship, is a difficult concept for people to understand.  If one is at fault, then both is at fault in the eyes of God, unless it is a forced sexual contact.

Emotions are very convoluted…mixed up with lust, anger, resentment, sadness and loathing not to mention guilt and embarassment.   The conscious is a complicated thing; when people go against their own moral or religious values to give in to sin or temptation…the spirit rebels.  Words and actions start to conflict with one another and it causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships.   The conscious is inside each of us to keep us from wrongdoing…it is a tool.  When we disregard the very core of our beings and choose to step outside of what we believe is right/wrong we end up punishing ourselves and others in ways that we don’t understand.

This is one loaded audio recording: if indeed Mr. Gibson said, let alone thought any of these things.   Then, it is indicative of a man eaten alive by a corrosive hate for not only those who are different from him by race or by being born female, as well.  Let’s remember, Oksana is the MOTHER of his child as much as Robyn is; although Robyn had every moral and legal right as his wife to have the fullness of marriage by having intimate relations with him and giving birth to his children.   Eventually Mel and Oksana’s young daughter Lucia will grow up and read of his rantings and judgements.   On the other side of things, Mel already has children, from his marriage, old enough to read and understand his words and deeds.   These kinds of words and actions are destructive to family relationships.   What must Robyn or his adult children think of his behavior…his thoughts, his words and his mindset?   Mel is still their father but they too must be trying to sort out this confusing circumstances.

Mel appears to be a man of conflicting images.  He is on one hand professionally praised by other actors and actresses and co-workers.  But, don’t you have to wonder how they feel, hearing of his feelings about women, race relations and appearances?  He was known for years as a family man to the public.   He was known for his Catholic beliefs.   He was a benefactor for children and agencies that helped them.  Yet, in the last few years he has had issues that have festered to the surface in public and in private.  Who is the real Mel Gibson?

It is just my observation but, Mel comes across to me as a man who is embroiled in inner conflicts that he does not know how to resolve.  A husband, father, family man/a man who was allegedly involved in a romantic relationship outside of his marriage vows, a good Catholic/yet a man who openly hates Jews (Jesus was a Jew), An actor and director who works with women in the entertainment industry who often dress provocatively for movie roles and for publicity; and, people of all skin colors and various religious beliefs, both behind the scenes and in film roles on the screen. 

People who are tormented with hatred of others, simply because of their own intolerence for people who are different from them, are the most miserable people.  Their intense dislike of others is caustic and hard to rally support for except from like-minded people who are also filled with judgement and hatred.  Usually there is also a large supply of self- hatred underneath it all which is masked by self-medicating behavior with drugs, alcohol, cutting or self maiming physical behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, or promiscuity; all of which are self destructive.  

What is needed is a healing of the physical, emotional and spiritual person.  Someone who fills up on hate or self destructive behaviors is someone who is trying to fill up empty spots or voids in their lives.  They don’t know how to heal and often will need professional help; such as legal intervention, sometimes medical help such as medication, psychological evaluations and treatment, and spiritual guidance which focuses on positive guidelines for building up an attitude of love, encouragement and peace.  Someone who has been indoctrinated since childhood with hate may require long term intervention before they are able to accept not only themselves but others on an equal footing or at least in an unconfrontational way of life.

A person’s legacy is a very important thing.  It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or not;  we alone determine the kind of legacy that we leave this earth with; by our thoughts, our actions, and by the way we make others feel.    We live such a short time on this earth so why spend it in turmoil, unhappiness, anger and violence.  Life is so much more rewarding when people find ways to live in peace, harmony, and love.  If you or someone you know is imploding from hatred in their heart and mind…please find help before you destroy yourself or others.