My reasons for this are that while immigrants are welcomed and encouraged here in the U.S., as that’s the American way, doing it legally should be a no-brainer.  Legal immigrants are basically temporary guests until such time as they go back to their original home or apply for a U.S. citizenship.  While they are here, they have rules and regulations to follow.  Just as citizens who are born here in American.  Why should illegal immigrants who flaunt their disregard of the rules be rewarded for doing so; when many legal immigrants, who do things by the book, honor our system?  That isn’t right to reward illegals by giving them a free ride when our own citizens don’t get that same level of benefits.

The thing is, not only will they get private scholarships to go to college…but, they have to have money to live on.  How will they get food and money to pay for other necessities? So while they may get private scholarships to go to school…they must turn to the public to meet their other needs.  Already the state of California is struggling financially to meet it’s obligations to those who live there; you know, people that legally have the right to live there.  What about medical care?  What if those illegal immigrants have children while they are here? Those children will be U.S. citizens…but, then the parents have the ability to try to petition the courts to try to stay here as well.  Who picks up the tab in the meantime?  We all know the answer to that…residents of the United States who pay their taxes are stuck picking up the tab to provide for them.  It just isn’t right.

There are some individuals who think that by educating the illegals that it will help our country by causing them to pay taxes.  Yeah right, first of all, illegals don’t want to be noticed by government agencies.  They don’t want to be sent back to the countries that they came from.  Truthfully, why would they?  They can live here…find jobs that will pay them under the table, keep Uncle Sam’s portion for themselves, go to college…often have babies here in America for free, and send money back home where it is worth much more than it is here…and be doing quite well, all things considered.

I happen to think that it is outrageous that Governor Jerry Brown would slap Americans in the face by taking this action. It is what I call poor leadership that will have a negative impact on our nation.  As the head politicians, he should be enforcing the laws of his country, not creating ways around the laws of the nation.  This country is experiencing a time-bomb regarding our ceiling of debt that has the potential to paralyze our country financially; and, he dares to spread out the welcome mat to people that he feels we need to invest in.  The illegal immigrants shouldn’t be America’s obligation financially.

What are your thoughts on this matter?  Oh and before you jot down your opinion…just know that there is another bill being considered in the legislature for public scholarships to be extended to illegal immigrants in the United States as well.  That would squarely place the brunt of the cost, of sending ILLEGAL immigrants, directly onto the American taxpayer who may or may not be able to afford to send their own family members to college.  Is this fair?  Tell me what you think!

My own personal belief is that homosexuality is wrong…a sin if you will, however, I do not think that this group or any group has the right to protest at someone’s funeral.  This is a time for a family & friends to grieve and honor their loved ones.    I think that Westboro’s conduct or behavior is shameful for a church and shows a lack of compassion or love for their fellow man/woman; and, that there are better ways to communicate their beliefs or faith.  To me it is now more like a legal sort of bullying that has the stamp approval from the Supreme Court (except for one Supreme Court Justice).

Much of the controversy comes from the fact that most of the protests include signs and words that label individuals as gays, fags or homosexuals…or sinners going to hell because of their ethnicity (Jews-non Christian), race, or religion that Westboro claims are false religions.  Many of these protests have been at funerals for military personnel who have gone to war to protect the freedoms of fellow Americans.  I think it is an outrage that a ceremony of grief for family and friends could be violated by these “protests” that exude hatred and disrespect.  While I think that most Americans would say that they have a right to their opinion…with or without a law to back it up; I believe that what is most upsetting is that their right to say it in whatever form they choose, feels as if they are stepping over the rights of those who they are protesting against.

The Westboro Baptist Church calls themselves Christian…but they do not appear to show the love of God.  Scripture says that homosexual behavior is an abomination/sin.   Yet scripture also says to love the sinner but hate the sin.  What these protests communicate has nothing of love associated with them.  It is all negative words and actions.

My feeling is that since the Supreme Court has upheld their right to protest at the funerals, and in public venues against whomever they decide to protest against; not out of any great love for Westboro’s beliefs and standards, but out of a sense of protecting everyone’s right to freedom of speech; I would like to know where responsibility comes into the discussion.  When people have a freedom of speech…do they not have a responsibility not to cause harm?

Accusing people of being a homosexual, or of belonging to, or promoting a “false” religion…can cause harmful consequences.  Denigrating a person because of their race, or religion appears to come across as an unnecessarily cruel use of words to get their beliefs known.  To me it also seems counterproductive, if their goal is to persuade others to their way of thinking.  These protests can “cost” a community or city a great deal of money to intervene with police protection to prevent violence from breaking out in certain circumstances.  Are there no legal repercussions for a group to take into consideration the harm that they can inflict upon a group or an individual, or even a community by the words that they fling towards others?

Do you think that the Westboro Baptist Church should be allowed to continue doing what they are doing?  Do you think that their actions reflect badly on other Christians?  Now that the Supreme Court has upheld their right to continue these protests, do you think that they will increase their protests around the country?  How do you feel about what they do at these protest?  Is it the American way to allow it to continue…or an outrage?

Miley Cyrus became so rich and so overwhelmingly popular that she began to make changes like dressing more provocatively.   She not only “grew up”; she changed her image.   She made very grown up videos with older men and she was caught on film smoking Salvia in a bong (which is not illegal in California but which has hallucinogenic affects on the people who smoke it).   Billy says that he always tried to be a friend to his children and now he regrets not being more of a disciplinarian type of a parent. Many parents realize this type of mistake…but, when there are people who form a wall around your child, I would imagine it is harder to talk things out.   Billy didn’t have the title of being his daughter’s manager in business either…so he had no official say so in those business decisions of hers.  He feels that much of what has happened in recent months has been out of his control.

Maybe that is true…yet truthfully, his children and his wife play a part in this scenario as well.  If they all respected him as the head of the family (instead of having the balance of power out of whack by earning power) then his opinion would carry more weight in their choices.  This is doubly sad because they all appear to love one another…but, there seems to be no authority except of those in their business life; who may or may not have their family’s best interest at heart.  Billy says that he has not profited from Miley as a person on her staff such as a publicist or manager.  I think that fact brings him some kind of comfort…but it has to be a small comfort.

Miley makes a lot of money through the sale of all kinds of merchandise & music.  She has become a powerhouse in the celebrity field and as such…she is afforded many “handlers”.  Those are the people who promote, publicize, and schedule Miley’s appearances and her image.  They are the only ones in control of her image. They are her authority, instead of her father or her God.

Miley’s father Billy says that when he has questioned some of those handlers about his daughter and the reason behind her handlers alleged attempts to desperately get their hands on some anonymous  young people’s cell phones and computers; he was allegedly told that it was “none of his business”.  While that may be true professionally, it certainly is not morally or in the area of parental concern.  His daughter and circumstances surrounding her well being most certainly are his business.  That is a God given right!

Now I don’t know about you…but when a man or woman’s child becomes a property that is so large that the parent is considered to be interfering when asking questions about how that child (even if that child is over the age of 18) representatives are dealing with details in his/her life; then, I have to question the motives of those behind the image.

When the Cyrus family came to California with the lure of the career and fame, they were supposedly a family united in faith.  It seems to me that Billy has regrets about where his family has found themselves at this point.  I can’t say that I blame him.  He and his wife Tish have separated at the end of 2010.  His children are all scattered.  He says that he would give it all up in a minute to go back to the way things were, if his family could be back where they started.

All I can think of when I read articles based on that interview is, Matthew 16:26 which says; “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or, what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”  They each made a decision to pursue their careers…and so it doesn’t just fall to the father.  Still, their intentions could have been the best when it all started.  After all, the show was a clean family show…who could have seen where it would lead?

This story still makes me sad, because like many Christians, you have to wonder if they thought they would go into the big city and change the dark places with the influence of their careers.  Instead, their family seems to have been changed, and if this interview speaks to the truth of the matter, Billy Ray Cyrus doesn’t appear to believe that those changes were not for the better or, worth the risk.  May God get into the midst of this family’s business and repair and heal the damage that has been done; restoring their faith and family values.  What are your thoughts?

However, there are products being labeled as “bath salts” that are powders packed in small tea bag sized envelopes and advertised as legal substitutions; merely to make money.  They are  being sold on the shelves of convience stores, truck stops and head shops all around the country; as well as online.  They are marketed as bath salts, when those who produce these products know full well that they are not being used for that purpose.

Those who produce, market or sell these items should be held accountable for those who have had their lives destroyed by their products. Their intended use is for individuals who are looking for a drug induced high.  Business selling them should be forced to removed them from their stores in my opinion.  In fact, some states & communities are banning their sales…but, we need to increase awareness of this issue; before the use of these products becomes more widespread.

The powders are snorted, smoked or injected.  This product is equal in intensity to meth in it’s effects on the human body and mind.  It can be addictive even when the user experiences terrible effects during usage.  Some people have committed murder, attempted suicide or just gone on a violent, destructive bender while using these products.  Emergency rooms, police and poison control centers are seeing an increase in calls in areas where these products are being sold.

Children and adults can purchase a package of “bath salts” for approximately $20 or so.  Unfortunately these things can be purchased online too.  A parent seeing one of these packages may not realize that it is a drug with very harmful effects.  These products have names like Cosmic blast, Vanilla Sky, Red Dove, White Lightning, Hurricane Charlie, and Bliss or Ivory Wave…they sound like a generic aromatherapy type of product; these packages are anything but.  It is un-believable that this product is allowed to be sold; knowing that lives are being ruined.  These legal substitutes are chemical stimulants designed to achieve a physical/psychological high and are extremely deadly.  They have strong stimulants inside the packages which closely copy the effects on the body like speed or ephedra.

The problem is that these legal substitutes are not something that the DEA regulates.  However, the damage these drugs do is causes dangerous reactions that often produce paranoia, violence and psychological terror that can not only endanger the user (who willingly takes that chance); but also affects anyone who is unfortunate enough to run into someone under the influence of such an un-predictable drug.

Some people abusing these bath salts, have described seeing visions of, aliens, devils or demons and attacking themselves or others because of those visions.  If you see this stuff being sold…report it to the authorities.  If you know someone using these products get them help immediately; report it to a poison control center and get them in to see medical personnel right away before they harm themselves or someone else.  Schools should be prepared for the influence of these products as well by having drug counselors on speed dial.  Educating individuals who are susceptible to the influence of using drugs to escape reality is going to be very important as this trend becomes more commonly known.   Becoming aware of this trend of abusing bath salts could help you spot the danger and help to save  lives.

It has become a way of life to do what feels good at the moment and not worry about having a high standard of conduct.  Live and let live…don’t make waves…be politically correct at all times; even at the cost of what you believe to be the appropriate conduct, right?  Wrong…lowering the standards of acceptable behavior can lead to all sorts of personal problems.

You see these things not only in the adult population, but also in small children; they are the next generation in training.  Parents, teachers, clergy, employers, and those in any kind of leadership position will tell you there has been a big change in the conduct of the people of today, as compared to 10-15 years ago.  There’s a noticeable decline in respectful behavior shown towards anyone in authority. A big portion of a teachers day is spent dealing with attitudes and discipline and this affects the quality of our school aged children.  It would be unnecessary if everyone worked together to raise the standards of acceptable behavior and personal conduct.

Many people’s work ethic has gone downhill…there is a sense of entitlement that many people have that excludes them, in their own minds, from having responsibility or expectations put on them.  They appear to think it is easier to just be passive and non-responsive…or fail to perform to their fullest capabilities.  This is really not acceptable if they are to have a fullness in life.  It tends to leave a person dissatisfied about where they are and feeling badly about themselves and others who are in authority over them.  Creating interpersonal problems in the work force and at home should they lose their jobs.

If you as a customer, of a business, feel that you have been treated unfairly…don’t merely tuck your tail and walk out unhappy and allow such treatment.  Stand up for what you believe to be correct.  You don’t have to be rude, violent, or disrespectful…but very simply say what you think is out of line and ask what they can do to correct the situation. Hold someone accountable for their attitude towards others.

You will be surprised at the response.  Some will be shocked that you said anything at all.  Others will be quick to try to make excuses…and try to get you to go away quickly, without trying to correct the situation.  However, if you respectfully try to resolve this problem and get no response…ask to speak to someone with more authority.  Explain that you feel that their standard of conduct was not appropriate.

If you happen to be a business owner…remember to conduct yourself in a way which speaks of your own high standard of behavior.  This is in public and in private.  It is hard to make a living; and people often look for ways to cut corners, eliminating extra financial demands.  Don’t lower your standards in the quality of people who you hire, the products you sell, the way that you go about marketing or advertising them, or even in the place where you conduct your business.  If you raise the standards, your customers will notice.  They will respond in a positive manner; they will come to recognize you as someone over and above the rest.  You will set yourself above the crowd, and raise the bar so that your competitors will respond to that; when they see that your customers are respecting how you conduct yourself and that it translates to better business practices.

Teachers, parents, employers, spiritual leaders, and law enforcement personnel must raise the standard of expected and acceptable behaviors.  Consequences are a big part of this equation.  When someone fails to meet acceptable levels of behavior then there must be consequences either as a natural consequence or as a teaching tool.

Let failure be a learning experience and a natural part of life.  Don’t rush to fix things or make it better and don’t make excuses of why that person isn’t performing up to par.  That is not to say that you can’t have compassion or sympathy and adjust to a situation…but, don’t do it automatically…giving that person an out or a pass.  Use good judgment in how you deal with people.  Not only holding others accountable but being accountable yourself in all areas of your life.

I find it ironic, when you hear someone holding another person or business to a higher standard than that with which they conduct themselves.  How do they justify that?  It is as the old saying goes…we judge others by their behavior; but, we judge ourselves by our intentions.  Meaning that we know what we were thinking when we behaved the way that we did; and, give ourselves permission to lower the bar on our own personal conduct.  That is not fair, nor is it acceptable.  I challenge you to raise the standards … and ask you to challenge others in your life to do the same.  Is it possible to change our culture by doing these things?  How do you envision your circle of influence reacting to this kind of expectation?

There are rich people with just as many problems as poor people.  In fact, often having too much money  is often more of a curse.   Some rich people try to hold on to as much of it as they can and don’t pay their rightful taxes on it; going to prison over that concept.   Look at people who struggle with an over-abundance and you will see what I am talking about.   Think about some of those music or movie stars that you see them plastered all over the tabloid papers strung out on drugs or alcohol; hanging with the wrong crowd and getting into legal troubles.  Some are homeless or about to be due to financial mismanagement.  Family secrets come out and many times, it is because someone feels slighted at not being “given” enough from that person.  Friends and acquaintances sell stories about them to the media…loyalty and true friendship are tested because of the temptation to “sell them out” for money. 

It isn’t unheard of to read about a wealthy family who is going head- to- head over who is getting what, when one of their own passes away and doesn’t handle distributing that wealth evenly to their family, friends, or their caregivers.  Even someone who has money and passes away can be sued (at least their estate can).  Sad isn’t it?

People who live on the street and are homeless are often without the basics in life because of a lack of money.  In fact, Ted Williams made the news recently as a homeless person who was recorded, on tape, by a reporter carrying a sign proclaiming his God given voice in the hopes of getting a job doing voice overs or radio work because of his talent.

It worked…in a matter of days he was carried along on a media whirlwind that took him from coast to coast in the United States doing interviews…receiving jobs offers and offers of a place to live.  He did heartfelt interviews talking about his past addictions (2 yrs of sobriety he claimed) and run ins with the law.  He was on a high of emotion from the sudden shift in his luck and station in life…given a second chance to turn things around.  I am sure in the back of his mind when he was  sleeping alongside the highway in a tent…he probably thought; if only I could get my hands on some money everything will be alright!  Many people would probably think that.

The truth of the matter is that he was still drinking.  He was still in denial.  He had a meeting with his mama, who he hadn’t seen in years, where she told him basically not to let her down this time.  She had prayed for him to turn his life around and to be safe.  To me that spoke of the hurting  journey of a parent (or loved one) to a person who has struggled with long term addictions.  This proved to be true.  The media started to say how hard it was going to be for him to suddenly be financially better off and not be tempted to go back to his old ways.

Now news reports say that Dr. Phil has done a series of three interviews with Ted and his family members out of concern about his sobriety and his addictions.  One of Ted’s 9 children allegedly got into some kind of confrontation in a hotel in California  where the police were called.  Since this time, Ted Williams has allegedly agreed to go into rehab after confessing that he has been drinking still.

Before this,  it was touted that all of Ted’s struggles were over because of  his sudden good luck.  The offers of money, jobs, and media attention seemed like a miracle opportunity for him.  It still could be;  if he does what Dr. Phil and his family truly want and need him to do which is to deal with the reasons behind his addictions and commit himself to recovery.  His relationships can be improved upon… possibly even healed from years of hurt and disappointments.  His opportunities will still be there for him to pursue when he is rooted in a real recovery.  You see, money doesn’t fix everything…it can be a tool to turn his world upside right again, or it can be the tool that destroys him.

So many of us wanted to buy into the story of a lucky Ted Williams who needed an opportunity and a little money and it would be a great story of overcoming difficult circumstances.  We wanted to see him do good.  We still do.  Now we want it more, knowing that he needs more than dollars and a place to live.  He needs help, he needs support, he needs professional intervention to help him regain control of the things in life that have held him back and away from those in his life who want him to be there in their lives healthy and whole again.  It is possible, and maybe just maybe with that help, the power of prayer and the love and support of those who care about him he will stand a fighting chance.

If you see someone who needs help getting back on their feet…don’t be so quick to just hand over money.  Think about what their circumstances really need to be turned around.  Find a way to help that isn’t a quick fix.  What are some ways to help a person in the same kind of situation as Ted Williams?

       It seems that times are tough financially, both for the man & the woman, and the ex-wife feels the need to move over 1,000 miles away to the state of Florida where she will live with her family to make ends meet.    They are about to lose their home.  There is not enough money to live on.  So she is making a plan that she feels is a good one.  But her children are young, ages 6 & 9.  I can’t help but wonder, don’t the children need more interaction, than 3 hours a week, with their father…ONLINE?

        Some people would say, well…why doesn’t the father move to Florida as well?  It seems he just had cancer surgery.  And in my opinion, if neither the mother, nor the father, is financially stable…how is it that either of them will find the finances to get set up to communicate digitally if they don’t already have the equipment or the software.  That all costs money. 

         Can a parent meet the emotional needs of their children stictly by being online at the same time?  Is it enough interaction to chat with your children?  Is the Skype program going to replace physical hugs, going places together, putting them to bed at night, joining them in their after-school activities?  Nothing against Skype but, it lacks the physical component of parenting in my opinion.  I can’t imagine a mother or a father thinking that this kind of visitation is “enough” in a long term situation. 

       Are the co-parenting responsibilities and priviledges going to be able to be satisfactory?  Will one parent end up with more of one and less of the other?   Will the children feel abandoned or cheated?  I wonder if there will be enough of an opportunity for natural bonding to be maintained in this type of arrangement.

         Was there NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE than moving so far from the children’s father?  No other affordable place to live in NY?  No other job that would increase the family’s financial situation?  Maybe we weren’t told all of the pertinent information regarding the situation that the family is facing.  Still, I wonder for any parent; father or mother, is digital visitation enough when it comes to parenting your children?   What do you think?

     So then, imagine my surprise when I read a news article today about an alleged violation of that right at the U. S. Supreme Court Building.  From reading the article it would appear that a group of middle school students and their teacher as well as a few other adults, were at the Supreme Court Building taking pictures when they decided to step to the side to pray.  The details are a bit sketchy, however it is being alleged that a police officer told them that they must cease and desist; stop praying and move along because it was against the law.

        Either there is more to this story, or the police officer was/is badly mis-informed, or some other reason was at the basis of being asked to move along.  From my impression of the article, it sounds as if it was a peaceable gathering.  However, as I said, details are sketchy. 

         Either way, the freedom to exercise religion is one of the various reasons this county, of the United States of America, was formed in the first place.   That is what democracy is all about; a society that is exhibited by a formal equality of privileges and rights.  It goes against the grain of most people to have someone tell them how and when they can exercise their religion, or their lack of religion.  It would be even more offensive to have something, of that nature, take place on the very steps of the symbol of our governing legal authority.  How odd and disheartening to have even the perception of a squashing of that freedom of religion, in such a way.  It is wise to pay attention to anything that could be a danger or a threat to the freedoms that this country endows to it’s citizens; it is our responsibility to uphold those freedoms to the best of our ability.

        While no one should be forced by government to worship or endorse anyone particular religion over another…or to even to have a religious belief in the first place; nor should they be kept from practicing their simple faith building action of prayer.

         Many Americans are feeling as if the very fabric of our country’s foundation is being torn asunder in regards to their religious freedoms.  Legal challenges seem to constantly attempt to disallow any fringe association with an open faith in American society.  From schools, to public ceremonies to work related issues to the attempts to remove any mention of God in our currency or our governing bodies … there are movements afoot to erase all mention of God as a higher power of authority.

         If this story proves to be factual, and the prayer was peaceful and was not unlawful in any other way…then that police officer needs to be educated and disciplined about the rights of Americans to pray where they will; as long as they are not violating any other laws.   If indeed he was somehow encouraged to make a stand against religious freedoms, at the very place where the laws of the land are formed and enforced…then this country had better wake up and hold the highest symbol of authority this nation has, to it’s own declarations of what is, and what is not, lawful. 

         What are your thoughts on this matter?

Allegedly there are even more sound bites from these audio recordings that have equally disturbing comments from Mel Gibson. In the past, he has been accused by some as having made disturbing comments about Jews when he was arrested.  It was said in reference to those statements, that he was under the influence.  Others would argue that what is in the heart bubbles to the surface when that person’s inhibitions are loosened up from drugs/alcohol.

This past year has seen Mr. Gibson separate from his wife of 30 years, Robyn only to publically engage in his relationship with Ms. Oksana Grigorieva.   They had a female child, Lucia, together and it is alleged by Oksana that Mel Gibson physically assaulted her by hitting her in the face, while she was holding their daughter, causing physical harm to Oksana; as well as threatening to burn down her residence. 

 Mel is now being investigated for domestic violence by law enforcement.  A tallent agency has stopped representing him in the last week as well after Mel supposedly made disparaging remarks about hispanics whom he allegedly called “wetbacks”.  His personal reputation is going through some rapid changes.   He has been a successful actor in the box office for years earning kudos from the entertainment world and from fans alike. 

These audio tapes, if proven to be his voice, are not going to help Mel Gibson dispell the impression that he is guilty of domestic violence when the tone of voice, that is alleged to be him, states the Oksana looks like a whore, has fake breasts and that she dresses in a provocative way; the male voice goes on to say that if she is attacked and raped by a pack of (N-word insulting name for African Americans) then she DESERVES that. 

No-one deserves to be raped EVER by ANYONE; and I think, if he did make those statesment that it will be hard to regain any semblance of respect from people who believe as I do that it is wrong to say such things as well as to believe it.   Also, the voice on the tape seems to dismiss Oksana by saying things such as I do not trust you, I don’t love you and I don’t want you; these are meant to tear down and diminish the context of their relationship.  It was a relationship that would not be condoned by the church because it was outside of a marriage situation; still, he chose to indulge in a relationship with her so to talk in such a way about her is insulting on many levels.   Whoa, talk about offensive!

I mean, obviously she was a good enough woman to have sex with; as evidenced by the birth of their child.  He was attracted to her enough for that.   He stepped outside of his marriage to have the relationship with Oksana.   Yet, in the same vein, she is a whore; beneath contempt evidenced by his alleged words.   These are the mixed up thoughts of a man who has not come to the understanding of the wholeness of an intimate relationship.  I mean, you can’t have sex with a person outside of marriage and condem them without also condeming yourself.  If she is a whore…then what makes him any different than her?  Is this self hate that he is directing at her because he can’t sort it out in his own head?  You have to wonder if his relationship with Oksana is the only illicit relationship that he has indulged in; maybe guilt is eating him alive.

How do you go from being in a marriage of over 30 years; to starting a new relationship with a woman who is not your wife, while still married and with whom you create a child; and then espouse your intense dislike and disrespect for that same person in such a way as to try to demean them as a person and as a woman.   Inflicting alleged verbal, emotional and physical abuse upon them for the very acts that you willingly engaged in; when you yourself are a willing participant in the relationship, is a difficult concept for people to understand.  If one is at fault, then both is at fault in the eyes of God, unless it is a forced sexual contact.

Emotions are very convoluted…mixed up with lust, anger, resentment, sadness and loathing not to mention guilt and embarassment.   The conscious is a complicated thing; when people go against their own moral or religious values to give in to sin or temptation…the spirit rebels.  Words and actions start to conflict with one another and it causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships.   The conscious is inside each of us to keep us from wrongdoing…it is a tool.  When we disregard the very core of our beings and choose to step outside of what we believe is right/wrong we end up punishing ourselves and others in ways that we don’t understand.

This is one loaded audio recording: if indeed Mr. Gibson said, let alone thought any of these things.   Then, it is indicative of a man eaten alive by a corrosive hate for not only those who are different from him by race or by being born female, as well.  Let’s remember, Oksana is the MOTHER of his child as much as Robyn is; although Robyn had every moral and legal right as his wife to have the fullness of marriage by having intimate relations with him and giving birth to his children.   Eventually Mel and Oksana’s young daughter Lucia will grow up and read of his rantings and judgements.   On the other side of things, Mel already has children, from his marriage, old enough to read and understand his words and deeds.   These kinds of words and actions are destructive to family relationships.   What must Robyn or his adult children think of his behavior…his thoughts, his words and his mindset?   Mel is still their father but they too must be trying to sort out this confusing circumstances.

Mel appears to be a man of conflicting images.  He is on one hand professionally praised by other actors and actresses and co-workers.  But, don’t you have to wonder how they feel, hearing of his feelings about women, race relations and appearances?  He was known for years as a family man to the public.   He was known for his Catholic beliefs.   He was a benefactor for children and agencies that helped them.  Yet, in the last few years he has had issues that have festered to the surface in public and in private.  Who is the real Mel Gibson?

It is just my observation but, Mel comes across to me as a man who is embroiled in inner conflicts that he does not know how to resolve.  A husband, father, family man/a man who was allegedly involved in a romantic relationship outside of his marriage vows, a good Catholic/yet a man who openly hates Jews (Jesus was a Jew), An actor and director who works with women in the entertainment industry who often dress provocatively for movie roles and for publicity; and, people of all skin colors and various religious beliefs, both behind the scenes and in film roles on the screen. 

People who are tormented with hatred of others, simply because of their own intolerence for people who are different from them, are the most miserable people.  Their intense dislike of others is caustic and hard to rally support for except from like-minded people who are also filled with judgement and hatred.  Usually there is also a large supply of self- hatred underneath it all which is masked by self-medicating behavior with drugs, alcohol, cutting or self maiming physical behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, or promiscuity; all of which are self destructive.  

What is needed is a healing of the physical, emotional and spiritual person.  Someone who fills up on hate or self destructive behaviors is someone who is trying to fill up empty spots or voids in their lives.  They don’t know how to heal and often will need professional help; such as legal intervention, sometimes medical help such as medication, psychological evaluations and treatment, and spiritual guidance which focuses on positive guidelines for building up an attitude of love, encouragement and peace.  Someone who has been indoctrinated since childhood with hate may require long term intervention before they are able to accept not only themselves but others on an equal footing or at least in an unconfrontational way of life.

A person’s legacy is a very important thing.  It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or not;  we alone determine the kind of legacy that we leave this earth with; by our thoughts, our actions, and by the way we make others feel.    We live such a short time on this earth so why spend it in turmoil, unhappiness, anger and violence.  Life is so much more rewarding when people find ways to live in peace, harmony, and love.  If you or someone you know is imploding from hatred in their heart and mind…please find help before you destroy yourself or others.

       After all, men and women have fought and died for the privelege that we all enjoy of living free from the will of others being forced upon us regardless of their own values and beliefs.   We don’t thank our military men and women enough for that and we should.  

        Our own country’s Declaration of Independence was based on the idea and principals of freedom.  Without that document as the basis of our country, we would still be forced to accept another country’s authority of what we could and could not do as individuals, in America.  Human beings still value freedom today, as much as during the formation of the United States of America; we just don’t always talk about what that means in our everyday lives. 

        Relationships are often broken or strengthened on the basis of the people’s concept of the boundaries and limitations of freedom in their relationship.  It does not matter whether that relationship is romantic in nature or whether the relationship is based on friendship, or is a family relationship such as parent to child or, even a working relationship with a co-worker  or a boss. 

         Freedom and it’s limitations are important.  If you think I am wrong consider this… if a couple has differing views on what kind of freedoms are going to be allowed in the relationships regarding physical relations, financial spending or saving, discipline issues with regard to raising children…or even freedom to pursue a chosen career…how does one compromise the limits of such freedoms without compromising or destroying one person or the other’s sense of what is acceptable?   They must consider the other person’s feelings regarding freedom as being equally important as their own and be willing to find an acceptable solution to both parties.  This is not easy…because everyone wants what they want and they want it their own way, if given a choice.

        A child who wants freedom, to do what they want at age two, will try to determine the outcome of how much freedom he or she has by acting out behaviorally.  It is the same with a teenager who is experiencing conflict between what they consider acceptable limits to their freedom as far as the use of the phone/computer/video games/ romantic relationships or even curfew.  When they don’t feel “heard” or at least met half way by a parental authority figure…often teens will rebel; sometimes even risk leaving home and damaging their relationship with parents or their siblings, over their own idea of how much freedom they should be allowed.

        Another population of people who understand the value of freedom is someone who is incarcerated or imprisoned.  The basic freedom of coming or going from place to place is something that most people enjoy and take for granted.  However, a person who is being punished criminally or in a war situation may experience a severe form of limitation of their freedoms.  They are not allowed to come and go freely.  They eats, sleep, work and interact only when they are allowed to do so.  This is meant to be a deterrent to commiting crime against societies.  It works for some, but truthfully, most people do not know how much they value these basic freedoms until it is taken away from them.  It is frightening to lack control over every aspect of your daily life.  Most people will be persuaded to live a life free of crime to avoid loosing their freedom.

        In general, the trick to having freedom that works is balancing freedom with responsibility and having a mutual respect for those with which the conflict is occuring.  Freedom to make one’s own choices is never free…it comes with a cost.  People who offer freedom to another person (from those in whom they are in disagreement with) WILL have strings attached or ulterior motives; even if they aren’t evident at the beginning. 

          We each must earn our own way in the freedom department…but, ultimately, the rights we enjoy as individuals are fought and won in battle through our military men and women who’ve paid a high costs; our court systems  and through legal challenges; and, in our own personal relationships through our communication with others of our needs and expectations; and our willingness to consider the rights and freedoms of those around us as being important as well. 

         The thing about freedom is also that the person who is expecting it, demanding it  needs to consider whether the freedom that they are wanting and seeking is worth the cost.  It must be weighed in each circumstance and if meeting in the middle or compromising can’t be done without one or both people feeling like they have given up too much…then relationships can be damaged.  It doesn’t matter how those relationships come into being…everyone wants to be valued and considered worthy of having equal say in how they conduct their lives.  It is human nature.