So then, imagine my surprise when I read a news article today about an alleged violation of that right at the U. S. Supreme Court Building.  From reading the article it would appear that a group of middle school students and their teacher as well as a few other adults, were at the Supreme Court Building taking pictures when they decided to step to the side to pray.  The details are a bit sketchy, however it is being alleged that a police officer told them that they must cease and desist; stop praying and move along because it was against the law.

        Either there is more to this story, or the police officer was/is badly mis-informed, or some other reason was at the basis of being asked to move along.  From my impression of the article, it sounds as if it was a peaceable gathering.  However, as I said, details are sketchy. 

         Either way, the freedom to exercise religion is one of the various reasons this county, of the United States of America, was formed in the first place.   That is what democracy is all about; a society that is exhibited by a formal equality of privileges and rights.  It goes against the grain of most people to have someone tell them how and when they can exercise their religion, or their lack of religion.  It would be even more offensive to have something, of that nature, take place on the very steps of the symbol of our governing legal authority.  How odd and disheartening to have even the perception of a squashing of that freedom of religion, in such a way.  It is wise to pay attention to anything that could be a danger or a threat to the freedoms that this country endows to it’s citizens; it is our responsibility to uphold those freedoms to the best of our ability.

        While no one should be forced by government to worship or endorse anyone particular religion over another…or to even to have a religious belief in the first place; nor should they be kept from practicing their simple faith building action of prayer.

         Many Americans are feeling as if the very fabric of our country’s foundation is being torn asunder in regards to their religious freedoms.  Legal challenges seem to constantly attempt to disallow any fringe association with an open faith in American society.  From schools, to public ceremonies to work related issues to the attempts to remove any mention of God in our currency or our governing bodies … there are movements afoot to erase all mention of God as a higher power of authority.

         If this story proves to be factual, and the prayer was peaceful and was not unlawful in any other way…then that police officer needs to be educated and disciplined about the rights of Americans to pray where they will; as long as they are not violating any other laws.   If indeed he was somehow encouraged to make a stand against religious freedoms, at the very place where the laws of the land are formed and enforced…then this country had better wake up and hold the highest symbol of authority this nation has, to it’s own declarations of what is, and what is not, lawful. 

         What are your thoughts on this matter?

       After all, men and women have fought and died for the privelege that we all enjoy of living free from the will of others being forced upon us regardless of their own values and beliefs.   We don’t thank our military men and women enough for that and we should.  

        Our own country’s Declaration of Independence was based on the idea and principals of freedom.  Without that document as the basis of our country, we would still be forced to accept another country’s authority of what we could and could not do as individuals, in America.  Human beings still value freedom today, as much as during the formation of the United States of America; we just don’t always talk about what that means in our everyday lives. 

        Relationships are often broken or strengthened on the basis of the people’s concept of the boundaries and limitations of freedom in their relationship.  It does not matter whether that relationship is romantic in nature or whether the relationship is based on friendship, or is a family relationship such as parent to child or, even a working relationship with a co-worker  or a boss. 

         Freedom and it’s limitations are important.  If you think I am wrong consider this… if a couple has differing views on what kind of freedoms are going to be allowed in the relationships regarding physical relations, financial spending or saving, discipline issues with regard to raising children…or even freedom to pursue a chosen career…how does one compromise the limits of such freedoms without compromising or destroying one person or the other’s sense of what is acceptable?   They must consider the other person’s feelings regarding freedom as being equally important as their own and be willing to find an acceptable solution to both parties.  This is not easy…because everyone wants what they want and they want it their own way, if given a choice.

        A child who wants freedom, to do what they want at age two, will try to determine the outcome of how much freedom he or she has by acting out behaviorally.  It is the same with a teenager who is experiencing conflict between what they consider acceptable limits to their freedom as far as the use of the phone/computer/video games/ romantic relationships or even curfew.  When they don’t feel “heard” or at least met half way by a parental authority figure…often teens will rebel; sometimes even risk leaving home and damaging their relationship with parents or their siblings, over their own idea of how much freedom they should be allowed.

        Another population of people who understand the value of freedom is someone who is incarcerated or imprisoned.  The basic freedom of coming or going from place to place is something that most people enjoy and take for granted.  However, a person who is being punished criminally or in a war situation may experience a severe form of limitation of their freedoms.  They are not allowed to come and go freely.  They eats, sleep, work and interact only when they are allowed to do so.  This is meant to be a deterrent to commiting crime against societies.  It works for some, but truthfully, most people do not know how much they value these basic freedoms until it is taken away from them.  It is frightening to lack control over every aspect of your daily life.  Most people will be persuaded to live a life free of crime to avoid loosing their freedom.

        In general, the trick to having freedom that works is balancing freedom with responsibility and having a mutual respect for those with which the conflict is occuring.  Freedom to make one’s own choices is never free…it comes with a cost.  People who offer freedom to another person (from those in whom they are in disagreement with) WILL have strings attached or ulterior motives; even if they aren’t evident at the beginning. 

          We each must earn our own way in the freedom department…but, ultimately, the rights we enjoy as individuals are fought and won in battle through our military men and women who’ve paid a high costs; our court systems  and through legal challenges; and, in our own personal relationships through our communication with others of our needs and expectations; and our willingness to consider the rights and freedoms of those around us as being important as well. 

         The thing about freedom is also that the person who is expecting it, demanding it  needs to consider whether the freedom that they are wanting and seeking is worth the cost.  It must be weighed in each circumstance and if meeting in the middle or compromising can’t be done without one or both people feeling like they have given up too much…then relationships can be damaged.  It doesn’t matter how those relationships come into being…everyone wants to be valued and considered worthy of having equal say in how they conduct their lives.  It is human nature.

         There is great debate about whether this policy should or should not be in place.  The Provincetown school district superintendent, Beth Singer appears to be puzzled by the controversy; even though the policy has no age limitation.    This goes above and beyond regular sex ed where parents can opt out of certain aspects of a sex ed program because of their beliefs or their own choice in how they want to explain the facts of life to their children; but, this policy removes that option by eliminating a parent’s consent or awareness.

        The author of the policy believes that all students should be educated about the use of condoms regarding disease and pregnancy prevention along with other issues relating to sexual education.  News reports say that she believes the controversy is surprising, but good as it gets people discussing the issue.  She has said that the policy was not created with the intention of giving condoms to children in elementary school.   It will probably now be geared for middle school and up, if I understand this correctly.  However, I think that is wrong because even though it does happen, kids should NOT be having sex.  If they are having sex then it is up to the parents and that child/teen to discuss how things should be handled; it should be a private family matter.

      It seems that, the school committee that approved the policy will re-examine the way that the policy is written because opposition to the policy has arisen over the availability of condoms to grade school children without having to notify the  parents, of said students.   Golly, I wonder why the parents are so upset…I mean…it is not like the school is trying to take over the role of the parents or anything, right?  >by the way, that is SARCASM if you are not getting that without hearing the “tone” of my voice.

       My feeling is that anytime a school or agency tries to usurp the authority of a parent over their children… it is wrong.  By creating a situation where kids can skip going to their parents for something as important as birth control or a device meant to protect them while having sexual relations with another person (whether it be another minor or not) is a serious problem. 

         First of all, minors having sex is not ok.  It happens yes; yes it does.  However, our society is sending kids mixed messages about whether that is appropriate.  Everything they hear and see in the media is sexually charged.  Yet, legally (and morally) sexually activity with another minor is wrong.  It can get them brought up on charges.  A minor having sexual relations with an adult is illegal, and damaging emotionally, physically and spiritually.  

        Any sexual activity can expose them to sexually transmitted diseases.  It can damage them emotionally and socially at a time when they are just discovering who they are as an individual.  It can put them in a situation where they have to choose how to handle the consequences of a pregnancy; ie: raising the child, adoption, abortion and the after-effects of any of those choices.  A minor is not typically in a position to handle the life long implications of such choices; often their choices are made while in crisis.  They often do not have the finances, the education, the housing or the emotional maturity to handle the consequences of sexual behavior.   Sometimes decisions such as having an abortion, or making an adoption plan, can actually harm them permanently forcing them to seek professional help in the future.  

         No one knows your child like you the parent does.  You understand their emotional make up.  You know what they have gone through personally.  You the parent know their friends and their boyfriends/girlfriends.  It is you the parent who is/was their first teacher in life…they have learned a great deal from you from birth on.  This area of teaching is the parent’s responsibility.  It can be uncomfortable yes…but understand this…no agency or school is going to have your particular set of values on this subject.  They might get taught the mechanics of how sex happens and how to prevent pregnancy…but, they won’t get the personal/moral/religious viewpoint that you the parent has from some other authority in the exact same way as you, yourself would have your kids understand it.

         I understand that not all parents are created equally…some parents will shirk their responsibility or worse, they may care less what their kids are doing; let alone deal with any consequences.  There are abusive family situations as well…that IS when an agency is appropriate to step in and take over the parenting duties…when an adult parent is unfit.  In that situation, a school counselor, a trusted adult or even a member of clergy can be confided in to meet the needs of a kid who is in need of counseling regarding sexual behavior.  But, it is not fair to the parents who do take their leadership position as heads of their households away by superceding their parental authority.

          The fallout of damage to personal relationships due to the alienation of parental authority is real and can hurt your relationship with your child forever. 

          The mere fact of keeping the parents out of the decision making loop, in an area of life that has the potential of affecting their child for the rest of their life which allows them to keep those kind of secrets is unhealthy and just plain wrong. 

          I would hope that this policy helps people realize and respect how important these decisions are and allows them to be decided between parents, their children, and their own family’s medical/spiritual consultants.

          Those things are very important;  however, there are even more precautions to take to keep your kids safe in this environment.   Many people aren’t even aware of this particular danger that we are going to discuss today.   The danger I am talking about is the vacuum or suction that allows for the water in the pool, or hot tub to circulate.

         A child or even some adults are in danger because of the design of those drains, in some pools.   The power of these drains  can drastically alter or cause the loss of life.  Pools that aren’t up to date, or equipped, with various layers of protection, regarding the force of the suction in these drains, can kill or permanently harm human lives.  

         It is important to note that people on vacation may not be aware of the quality or level of protection that a hotel/campground/waterpark may or may not have.  It’s even possible for people to take for granted that the neighbor’s or grandma/grandpa’s pool is “safe” for their children’s use this summer. 

        Using large drain covers  that are considered to be blockage free; and, that are firmly attached with screws are the first step towards protecting lives.   Equally important to the issue of safety and well-being is to have back up systems that help to restrict, or reduce the amount of suction through these drains. 

        There are safety shut off valves, that can save lives too; those safety shut off valves can sense when a drain becomes blocked and the force increases on the surface of the drain cover.    This powerful suction can occur when the skin of a person covers the drain and pulls with a large force trapping a person underwater; so a shut off valve is critical for saving lives.  

        Precious time is often lost because people believe that they can just pull a small person off of the drain cover…but, it just isn’t so.   Even with adult men pulling on the victims, that have lost their lives, they could not be freed from the force of that suction and they drowned or had their intestines pulled from their bodies because of that force.   No one should die such a senseless death when it is possible to avoid such a tragedy.   It is a horrible situation that can be prevented if only all pools and hot tubs were equipped with these safety measures.

        Imagine the helplessness of those survivors of such incidents…watching an innocent swimmer suffer and needlessly die because they could not be freed from a pool or hot tub drain.  It is a vision that would be hard to live with.  There are safety advocates that are trying to enforce legislation to protect us all; if you would write to your representatives in Congress and express your desire for layers of safety measures to be implemented and enforced, all around the nation, it would help.

          Swimming is a great summer activity and there is no reason to avoid taking part in it as long as you are aware of  the risks and take appropriate precautions.  Check out those pools that you “visit”…make sure that they are equipped with large safe drain covers.   Don’t be afraid to ask question and don’t be willing to be pacified with answers that don’t address the issues of safety for your family.   See for yourself  if there is a shut off valve available that is quick to reach (we’ve been in hotels where those are behind a locked door). 

          If a public pool does not appear to be safe; report it to authorities outside of the organization or facility where the pool/hot tub is housed; you could be saving lives.   Don’t take chances.  Teach children and teens to avoid the drain areas of pools and hot tubs or better yet; teach them not to get into an unknown pool without checking it’s safety features.  

           It doesn’t take a genius to realize that by the time a hotel employee could be located with a key…someone could drown before help could arrive.  Protect your loved ones by being safe…being aware, and sharing this information with those who may not know of this danger!

The push, the pull…the unseen force that threatens to destroy the will of the person
who has done everything in their power
to avoid that choice which they can not, or will not, give into

The mental strain continues until the system overloads
and weakness takes control, for the barest sliver of a moment;
long enough for that decision which has successfully been avoided; until that moment, becomes accomplished!

So what was achieved in the end?
Acceptance of the fact that; what had previously been avoided,
could have been accomplished sooner;  averting the stress of it all…but, would that be in their best interest?

What was the struggle all about; why was it so important to resist, if you eventually gave in anyway?
that is the lesson…hidden in between the push and the pull
A rough gem of knowledge, polished bright by the friction

knowledge which will allow you to understand what will
be revealed to you in another life lesson moment… at a future date;                                                                                                        it will become an opportunity for in-depth growth once you understand the layers of the lesson

Was the avoided topic destructive to you or another? Why was the pull so strong? Was the experience beneficial in the end? Why did you resist it and push against the experience from the beginning? Could the choice be unhealthy or unsafe for you, or another person? Are you capable of making good choices without guidance or professional help?

Use that knowledge to grow and positively affect others…
that is the real reason you suffered in the process;
so that you would remember; and, not waste all that was gained in the struggle.

So, what are you avoiding and why; have you begun to figure it out?

       Everyone at one time or another has felt the need for more energy.  People everywhere will indulge in a cup of coffee, tea, soda pop, or candy bar to give their energy level an occasional boost.  There are better ways to gain energy such as proper diet, rest, and exercise; but, we are all guilty of taking short cuts, at one time or another.  

          Kids need energy just like adults; but, between poor role models and a sedentary lifestyle that many young people have grown accustomed to; they are even more easily persuaded to get their energy out of a can.  Many marketing images are over the top and come across as radical, or illegal with the names of the products; which can be enticing to a teen who is open to the idea of coming across as rebellious.   Some who are easily influenced are vulnerable to the idea of an easy fix for low energy reserves.   A whole new thriving industry has emerged centered around these energy drinks, and their counter parts; anti-energy drinks, for those times when too much energy is a problem>insert sarcasm here! 

         There are several problems that I see when it comes to marketing these products to teens and children.  Adults should take care to monitor their own use of such products; because your kids will pattern their behavior after the adults in their lives.  The problem is, that kids don’t always have the maturity, or the knowledge, that they need to make wise choices in this area of life.  Creative advertising for these energy drink products has made these products sound not only benign; but, good for you.

          However, not all of these products have the same ingredients as one of their competitors products; nor do they have the same effects, on every person’s body.   There are some good products out there and some not so good products.   The idea behind energy drinks is to increase the energy level of the consumer.  This is done through a variety of ingredients; the main ones being caffeine and some form of sugar.  The levels of those two main ingredients varies from brand to brand…and, it is important to read the labels and compare the results.   You can’t assume that just because they are on the market for purchase that they are all safe to use for every person; because that may not be the case.

        The much sought after goal of gaining more energy is underscored by many consumers who believe that higher levels of caffeine is good.  In fact, it can be rather harmful.  Adding too much caffeine to a person’s body can raise blood pressure levels, put stress on the heart and it’s ability to regulate it’s rhythm; as well as other organs.  They can cause headaches and nausea.  The long term effects of this roller coaster ride can be very harmful to the body. 

        There is a huge dependence on these energy drinks in the daily diet, by many teens and preteens.  Parents may or may not be aware of their child’s use of these drinks.  It is critical that parents are made aware of the physical, social, and even the mood- altering impact, on their children, of the energy drinks; and, even the so called anti-energy drinks.  Side effects from some of the ingredients can be made worse if there are extra strains on the body such as extreme physical exertion from participating in a sport or an underlying health complication.

          Many young people are taking prescription medications for various conditions such as ADHD, ADD, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders, Autism, Depression and many other chronic medical conditions.  Mixing these drinks and the ingredients they contain with legal, and or illegal substances can harm, or even cause death for some individuals with underlying health conditions. 

          Only a doctor or pharmacist can determine whether any specific individual can safely consume these products along with the medications they are taking.  However, I don’t think that message gets communicated properly to the consumer.  Talk to your family doctor; discuss the issue with your kid’s school nurse and make sure that they are aware of  the effects of energy drinks on the health of minor’s bodies which are growing and changing at a rapid rate.

          Advertising for many of these drinks can appear to promote health because one or two of their ingredients may have positive health benefits like vitamins, minerals, or herbs.  Again, some of those ingredients can be harmful…some herbs can have stimulant or depressant properties.    Wisdom demands that you be aware of mixing any kind of substance that has the power to affect how the body operates or functions.  Care must be taken because you could be, in effect…mixing medications by drinking these drinks along with taking legal, prescription medications.   The average person or teen may not be aware that drinking  these drinks can cause a harmful interaction.

           The availability of these drinks is as easy as the nearest vending machine, convience store/gas station or grocery store.  They can be a bit pricey, generally around $3.00 a piece.   The products often appear as a can of soda in an aluminum container…sometimes they are bottled in glass.  Do you know if your child has had access to these drinks today? 

            Adults use these products as well.  However, if you are going to purchase these drinks for your teen or preteen; or, allow them to be used by your children; at least teach them to read the labels.  Teach them to understand that the numbers are often doctored by dividing the calories, sugar levels, caffiene numbers according to servings; not by listing the total amounts in the can.  The consumer has to understand that there may be MORE than one serving per can.  This makes all the difference in how the person’s body handles the drink; consuming a serving or the whole container in one sitting can be the difference between a positive or a negative after effect.

         Whether the consumer is an adult, or teen, or pre-teen; it is a good idea to communicate that too much caffeine (whether it be in coffee, tea, soda, hot chocolate energy drinks) can dehydrate the body and damage the kidneys, heart, or other organs.   Encourage them to drink plain old water to re-hydrate the body when they drink these kinds of energy or anti-energy drinks.

           As a side note, please be aware that some of the anti- energy drinks can have just as damaging effects on the body.  They are just like they sound….the opposite of energy drinks.  They have substances such as herbs and hormones in them that produce a slowing down of energy levels.  Some of them even add melatonin, a hormone that is naturally produced in the brain to promote sleep.   However, when this hormone is added into these anti-energy drinks it is not being naturally produced.  How much is too much for your or your loved one?

          Some users of these anti-energy drinks are using them to self -medicate either physical or emotional conditions.  If a person struggles with mental illness, depression or any other type of mood disorder…could these drinks cause them to experience mood swings of a harmful nature?  It would makes sense to me that it could.    There are also conflicting reports on the internet about these drinks ability to produce a positive result on drug tests.   For those individuals who are on probation or under a courts jurisdiction, this could impact them legally as well, if it is true that the drinks can affect a drug tests results. 

          I have even read that there are people who combine these drinks with alcohol.  Whenever people start using substances to alter their physical or emotional state of being you have to be careful.  These can become not only physically; but, psychologically addicting.  Teens who are wanting to “escape” painful emotional or physical situations can find themselves on a roller coaster of dependence…affecting not only their health; but, their relationships with their parents and their peers.  If they already struggle with addictive behaviors or choices…using these drinks to self-medicate can cause additional problems.

       Parents, many of you will not even be aware of this culture with your teens or their circle of influence…but, teens using these drinks is common.  If you purchase these energy drinks, or anti-energy drinks for your home…at least control how often these products are used.  But also be aware, they may be consuming them when you are not around to monitor their actions. 

        In my opinion, it is better to prohibit the use of these drinks altogether.  I don’t see the potential benefits outweighing the risks, to the health and well-being of the person drinking them.   However, if you are going to allow it…at least educate yourself about your child’s views on these drinks and how they and their friends see these products in their daily lives.  You may be shocked at what you hear.  Many young people see them as non-harmful; and use them as commonly as they drink soda pop.  Do some research for yourself.  What are your thoughts on this subject?

        That is fine and good…even an interesting social experiment if you ask me.  However, recently some of these flash mobs have turned towards destructive behaviors such as blocking traffic, walking streets and smashing windows, climbing on vehicles and scaring tourists and community members. 

          Many of these flash mobs are being organized with text messages, online social media sites like Twitter and Facebook as well as others.   Even in the best of circumstances, an event that is organized like this has the potential to go from good to bad at a moment’s notice. 

           However, my feeling is that depending on what the original intent of the coming together of large groups of young people; it is imperitive that they maintain a clear head and think for themselves.   If the “invitation” to come together is for a theme or idea of something good and pure…then by all means, go with the best of intentions.  Do good.  Have fun.   Enjoy!  However, be responsible for yourself and your actions.  If things start to go badly…use that technology or social media to notify authorities.  Don’t join in illegal, immoral, or destructive behaviors.

       If that “invitation” for a flash mob or group activity starts out with some destructive purpose…be responsible; don’t join in, and please, notify the authorities about what you have seen or heard.  Don’t take the pathway of “It is not my responsibility to do anything about it”.  If you “know” about it…you have a responsibility to report it, in my opinion.  You could be instrumental in preventing a tragedy, or violence or some kind of related damage to an event that never had the potential of being a positive event in the first place.

        Thinking for oneself is critical to keeping people on a positive moral track.  It can help prevent a person from being caught up in that group mentality that can have long term legal, moral,physical, spiritual and emotional consequences.

         Instilling a strong sense of values and personal responsibility in children is the best way to avoid raising up young adults who will diregard the safety and well-being of others or in other words desensitizing them to doing what is the right thing to do in any given circumstance.

          Any time we try to persuade someone to go along with the crowd, without thinking that action through, weighing the pros and cons of taking such an action; it is wrong.  

           I happen to love social media, the immediacy of the technological world that we live in…but like anything in our environment it can be perverted or used for selfish intent.   Teaching our young people to think for themselves, to consider any consequences of their actions before they choose to follow the crowd can make for stronger individuals and promote a life of keen decision making.   Believe it or not, it can also be a shot in the arm at preventing crime or illegal activities that can negatively impact our families, our communities, businesses, and our schools.

           Parents, friends, neighbors, clergy, teachers…authority figures of any description need to inspire our youth to live and breathe independent thinking; combined with responsibility and caring action.  If you see someone who is being be-littled or bullied by others, or being controlled by stronger willed personalities in their lives…encourage them to stand true to themselves and the values that they believe it.  Teach them it is ok to do the right thing- teach them to recognize what IS the right thing.   In fact, live that life yourself and be an inspiration; simply by the way you live your own life. 

        This was illustrated very clearly to many this past month when a young 13 old girl was given in marriage to a 23 year old Yemeni man.  He and his in-laws allegedly arranged a sort of deal for him to be given the 13 yr old bride and for his brother in law to be given HIS sister in marriage to avoid the high cost of a bride price.  According to the new pieces i have seen, it appears that the 13 year old bride was not only a reluctant bride when it came to sexual relations…the groom supposedly took her to a clinic to allegedly get medicated to render her helpless to resist his advances. 

        When the clinic denied him…he supposedly took her home and somehow was able to get himself a type of male enhancement drug to help him perform the sexual act because he was having trouble having intercourse.  The young girls mother says that her daughter told her in the hospital shortly before she died that her husband tied her up and raped and sodomized her.  This after he had already allegedly forced her to have sex and caused her internal injuries that required a trip back to that clinic.

       The news pieces said that they adviced the husband to avoid having relations with his wife for approximately 10 days.  He had carried her into the clinic because she could not walk.  The injuries evidently became more life threatening after he allegedly returned home and continued having sex.   The young girl was admitted to the hospital days after the wedding, where she died from ruptured reproductive organs.  Her mother says she appeared as if she had been butchered.  How do you look your child in the eye and know that what had been done to them will result in their death and you were powerless to change the outcome? 

         It is hard to think of a human being abusing someone so callously, as to think of their sexual needs exclusively to the well-being of the other person, outside of a predator or rapist who attacks another person purely for this purpose.    I am sure that the young brides family had no idea that her husband could be capable of such treatment of their daughter or they may not have agreed to the marriage arrangement…yet, this is what happened.  It is a tragedy.

        Not only was her body and spirit abused…but she was not protected in any way from a further sexual assault on her body once she was brought into the clinic the first time.   She was a 13 year old girl and she had to have been fearful.   She suffered greatly and lost her life simply because she was female and vulnerable to her situation because of where she was born and  into a culture which allows such things to happen to those unfortunate enough to be in her position. 

         Just today, there was another news piece about another girl; an 11 year old child.  She was also allegedly hospitalized with damage to her genitals.  She too was a child bride; this is unacceptable. 

          It is a human rights issue.  Poverty and ignorance are no excuse for these situations to continue.  Families have to protect their children from the potential of this kind of treatment by not giving children in marriage.  It is wrong to subject them to the sexual torture of their bodies and possible pregnancies… to protect them even from a potential death from young bodies that strain to give birth when they are yet barely matured to the point of conceiving a child in the first place; and truly, some of them are not even that physically mature.

         There are some people and cultures that believe marrying children off before they are considered adults will help to avoid premature sexual activity.  While it might prevent them from having sex before they are married…it in no way guarantees that they will not have sex until they are an adult; willingly or by force.   Because, there is no way to insure that once a child is legally, morally, or spiritually entered into a marriage that the adult partner won’t try to enforce a sexual relationship with that child. 

         Empoverished nations must be given alternatives to joining children in marriage to adults as a means of relieving financial burdens upon their families.  Educating people to the use of birth control to help reduce the number of children born to impoverished parents would be helpful.  Creating an awareness program about the dangers of forced sexual activity upon the bodies of children.  Holding offenders legally responsible for death or for damage caused to the children that this happens to; making it a crime to harm a child in this way.  

          Creating a means of earning a higher wage for families in those areas where these kind of arrangements take place;  so that they don’t see the need to marry off their children while they are still yet children.  How horrible to have such a situation within your own family or circle of acquaintance.   No caring parent would want to have to live with such an outcome on their conscience.  I hope that those who have a voice and have power will find the courage to change the way things are so that no family has to live with the knowledge that they have failed to protect their child from such a tragedy.  

            It makes me angry, and it makes me sad that people who are in the position of stopping this abuse of children do not; we must demand accountability and responsibility of our leaders, our religious counselors, law makers and our own family members!

      This is not ok.  The reason that it is not ok is because our country is increasingly finding out that our kids are in trouble.  They often have relationship issues, drug/alcohol abuse issues, eating disorders, trust issues and more.   Many of their role models have not been good ones; and finding good leadership for them to learn from is difficult.  Teen years are challenging at best when it is natural for them to try to discover who they are and what freedoms they can enjoy.

       They are in trouble in school, at home, out with their friends, in trouble with the law, they are isolated, angry, hurt, sad, frustrated, fearful and many are finding it hard to trust anyone or anything to be there for them.  Yet at the same time, there is resistence or open rebellion when it comes to accepting advice or rules meant to help them, keep them safe and meant to guide or direct them.  This not only creates difficulty in having a healthy, loving and respectful relationship between parent and child it also puts the child/teen at risk of being influenced by others who have no real vested interest in making sure that the child/teen is happy, healthy, productive and well-balanced in their life.

       One of the situations that came to my attention was a situation in which a school in the US runs a health clinic.  At the beginning of the year, a parent signed a consent form allowing the child/teen to go to the clinic if the need arose for treatment.  This would have allowed that student to receive care for a headache, a physical, birth control, and a multi-tude of other services.  One of those other services appears to be pregnancy counseling and get this…the facilatation of setting up and transporting the student off school grounds to receive an abortion-without informing or getting the consent of the legal parent of said student.   This did in fact happen, a student was put in a taxi from my understanding of the news report and sent off to receive an abortion.  Evidently by signing that generic consent form this “allowed” the high school student to receive such services.   This is outrageous; it is not like that student had a hangnail removed…this student made a life altering decision; one that will impact her physically, spiritually and emotionally…without parental involvement.

       That is or should be unacceptable to most families.  It is as if the school assumed a superior level of authority over the parents in an area of life that should have been left up to the student, her parents, the student’s boyfriend and his parents and if they could not handle the situation then, and only then, maybe the court system.  

        Parental rights and parental authority are under attack in this country.  We see it at every level of society from commercials on television and radio, to the internet, to entertainment such as music videos, movies, and television shows…the parents are made out to be interferring, control freaks, laughable buffoons to be made fun of, and if at all necessary someone to distance themselves from.   Yet when kids get out of control behaviorally, emotionally or physically…many other venues from the schools, to law enforcement to businesses want the parents to “handle or correct” the situation with their children/teens.   You can’t expect parents to be an authority figure to their kids if you are putting down, reducing the effects of parental authority/control, or are in some way ridiculing parental involvement in their kids lives.  

       It is hard when parents are often told how they can and cannot discipline or correct their children.  The respect for parental authority is challenged in court and in the classroom.  It doesn’t help when many families are broken or in fact have never formed legally in the first place.  Kids get conflicting sets of rules and expectations and often in those situations are told by whatever person in authority over them at the time tears down or directly tells the child/teen that they do not have to listen to or respect the other parent’s rules or expectations if they differ from their own.

       In the news also is the case of a father who took his child to church against the wishes of the mother.  When the mother and father were together they agreed to raise the child in the Jewish faith.  When the parents were no longer together…the father decided to go back to his Christian faith and take his child to court.  Now the court says he can not expose the child to his faith.  Who has more authority with the child; the mother, the father, or the court.  Evidently the court does.  

        This is why in previous generations there were warnings about “mixed marriages” when it came to beliefs or what the old timers called being unequally yolked or joined together.  It is hard to have a respectful blending of beliefs and raise children in those kind of relationships.  Can it be done?  It seems only if the couple agrees to expose them to differing viewpoints…because in this particular case, the court says no, the father may not take his child to his church to educate the child about his beliefs.   Is this right or wrong?

        I have a friend who has a special needs child who is in his 30′s who lives in an assisted living type of home.  That individual developed some complications with his health years ago and almost died.  The parent in that situation had to fight tooth and nail to keep authority over the medical treatment of her son.  Again this past week, her parental authority was challenged.  

        The doctor in charge wanted to medicate her child to battle some health issues that a lifestyle change would also help to fascilitate his return to health.  It looked as if the powers that be would escalate the struggle to the next level and would have even gone beyond harsh words and a pushy agenda in gaining the upper hand in who was in control over the medical decisions regarding the young man.   The parent had to push to “temporarily” removed him from the environment and stressed that the same goal of reducing the health risk to her son could be achieved by changes to his diet and exercise plan on a daily basis.   This is going to come down to what they can achieve and the documentation of her approach.  If it doesn’t work the way that the parent knows to be true; then the facility will try to enforce their plan of medication which in his case can have an extremely dire affect upon his health because of the side effects.

         All of these situations and more every day are jeparodizing the importance of the role that parents play in shaping the lives of their children.  We who have children have to step up to the plate and demand that we be given the opportunity to raise our children to the best of our ability with full legal, moral, physical and spiritual authority; unless we prove that we are not capable of handling that authority.  Parental authority/parental rights should only be challenged or threatened in cases of abuse/neglect/or endangerment.

        What are your thoughts on this subject?  Do you have an experience that you would like to share?

       It was said that Michael left a note saying that he planned to kill himself because of his depression.  He said it made him feel like he had no friends and didn’t fit in.   This is so tragic; he was only 18.  Michael is one of Marie and her ex-husband Brian Blonsil’s eight children.  He was adopted as well as several of the other children.  It has not been revealed to the public what sort of issues that Michael had been dealing with over the years…and maybe it should never be information for the public to know.  Those issues were private…and even though some of the Osmonds are very public people…they have a right to privacy as they grieve.

       I do know that when you are an adoptive family, you often live under a microscope.  People feel free to judge or to freely give advice on raising those children to the parents who have chosen to add them to their family.   It adds a level of interferrence in the raising of adopted children who are being grafted or blended into an existing family.  This is sometimes no easy feat; especially if the children happen to be a bit older when the adoption takes place.  I can only imagine how much more difficult the situation is when there is fame involved with the adoptive family.

        Depression is a big challenge and unless you have some personal relationship with the issue…it can be hard to understand.   However, Marie herself struggled with post partum depression after giving birth to one of her children.  It can severely affect not only the individual who struggles with it…but anyone who loves them.   It is important to get help if you are dealing with depression.  Many people don’t realize how serious it can be.  Sometimes depression is a chemical imbalance and medication can help; other times, other therapies can be helpful.  Talk to a health professional right away if you or someone you care about is struggling with depression.

        I can only hope that the media will respect this family as they try to deal with the loss of Michael.  Suicide leaves a lot of damage for the survivors left behind.   There will need to be some major healing time for this family.   May God help them all.

       Please, if you are someone who struggles with depression or suicidal thoughts; or, you know someone who is…please seek immediate help by checking out this site:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  or by contacting a health care professional.