A lot has been said about Jack Kevorkian in the media over the years.  For many years he used the media to get his message across to people around the world; he felt that people should be allowed to take their own lives.  He allegedly thought physicians should be allowed to assist them by providing the means (medicine) to accomplish that goal.  Many individuals (allegedly over 100 people) with chronic illness or disease, who were suffering, sought him out to help them end their lives.   He was eventually convicted of murder by prosecutors and served approximately 8 years in prison; but, he was released early because of his own medical conditions.

His battle with public perceptions and the public’s moral and legal viewpoint, on his stance towards assisted suicide, opened up many conversations around the world.  If nothing else, I do believe that the media attention helped people to examine their own beliefs about the idea of assisted suicide and the concept of whether people should have end of life choices when faced with chronic illnesses or diseases.

My own personal feelings aside, I can’t help but wonder as Jack was stripped of his medical license after being in prison for assisting suicides in the past; if he could have, would he have taken his own life at the end?

I mean, Jack’s life and career appeared to revolve around death and dying.  He didn’t have access to his machine, that he invented to assist those who wanted to commit suicide, while he struggle with his illness in the hospital.  Still, he has had health problems for years…which was part of the reason he was released early from prison.

One wonders, why didn’t he commit suicide himself during that time.  Could it be that he realized the value in living even while chronically ill?  Did he ever regret helping others to commit suicide?  Publicly he remained defiant…but, when released from prison he agreed to no longer assist people with their suicides.  Still, if he would have taken his own life…there is nothing that the legal system could have done to him after his death.   He chose not to do that…and I am glad.

It is said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation.  There are reports of people who have attempted suicide and somehow survived who report being glad that their attempt failed. Suicide leaves many victims…the survivors or loved ones of people who are successful at taking their own lives struggle with many issues.

Suicide prevention is important because people are in distress when they consider taking such an extreme action.  Those stresses are intense…but often they are fleeting situations and if a person has an intervention that helps preserve their life than can go on and live a rewarding life (even if it is hindered by disease or illness).  For those of us who have moral convictions about the idea of suicide, it is with sadness to hear of someone losing their life to suicide whether it is assisted or not. The subject is emotionally charged for most people…those who believe in the right to take their own life and those who believe it is wrong to do so.

Having lost a loved one myself, this week, after a long battle against a chronic disease; I can only imagine how much more complex the loss would have been, had that person chosen to take his own life.  He suffered greatly, and yet he struggled to live; was he ever tempted to take his own life?  I am sure there were moments when the pain became too much to bear…and yet, he fought for every moment he was allowed to have with his friends and family.

What are your thoughts on death and dying…Jack Kevorkian or assisted suicides?  Our condolences to his friends and family at their loss.

That show, called Two and a Half Men, has stopped production on their show for the rest of the season; since Charlie has made a public statement on interviews that disparages the producers of the show, television show creator Chuck Lorre, Alcoholic Anonymous, his ex wife, and women in general.   He says horribly vile things about Chuck Lorre and shows nothing but contempt for women, in my opinion, when he says things about women such as he has fame and those women have nothing and that all they will ever have is that night with him and that he will forget about them as soon as they leave.  He says that he is “special” and will never be one of the AA because they are a “bootleg cult”.  Seriously? 

It comes across through many of these examples that he considers himself above everyone else.  He believes that he alone cured his (in his opinion) so called disease with his own mind.  He has made recent statements to the fact that he is in control of his partying.   The truth of the matter is that he couldn’t be more wrong.  He has been in legal trouble for alleged domestic violence, he has had custody issues with his ex-wife who does try to support him in public while at the same time  tries to shield their daughters from the horror of these out of control antics that are harming him physically, emotionally, spiritually,professionally, and financially. His young sons with his second wife are very young…but they will grow up with the legacy of their father’s public displays as well.

People who work with individuals who struggle with addictions will give you all of the facts on how addicts fool themselves into thinking that they are “in control” and the rest of the world is the one with a problem.  Charlie may not live on the streets, he might not be homeless, he might not be stealing to support his habits…but he is in denial about his lifestyle choices and the effect that it is having on those who care about him (meaning his friends and family).

He has children that are growing up; and they are now, and will continue to be affected by his behavior and the choices that he makes.  He has a famous brother Emilio Estevez and then of course, there is his father Martin Sheen they have stepped up and said they continue to love him, support him and pray for him.  He has ex-wives who love him enough to try to work through their issues to maintain some sort of relationship for their children. Who can help an adult who is in a situation such as this? Can he be forced to get help through an emergency order? Is he having some sort of emotional breakdown or is he just acting out because of the damage caused by his partying?  He appears to feel all powerful and that no one has the right to tell him no, or draw a line in the sand regarding his conduct.   He has fans that he asks to support him; even though he is acting in ways that are hard to support.  He wants them to help him fight against the injustice of it all…saying that his fans are his people…not “theirs”.

In response, to the decision of his show stopping production, he slams the powers that be for stopping it…saying that they are keeping money from him, his family, and the crew of the show.   In my opinion however, if they continued to produce the show they would be irresponsible…enablers of a man who seems to be bent on self-destruction.  A week or two ago, there were articles that claimed that Charlie said that he only partied when he was bored and not working.  When he was working, he says, he was fine.   There are consequences to behaviors…and recent pictures of him show him possibly having had his teeth affected by his conduct.

Relationships suffer, professional connections become damaged and finances can become scarce because of a persons addictions.  In his case, this doesn’t just affect Charlie…he has a whole crew that is going to suffer consequences because of this situation.   A professional intervention needs to happen, because even though he says he is clean…that doesn’t mean he is stable.   I say, if he isn’t careful to get medical help, put his rehab knowledge and education to heart, and live addiction free…he is going to be bored to DEATH; and, we will be reading Charlie’s very sad obituary.

That would be a terrible waste of life; how much better to see him find his way to health and wellness and use his experience to help others in the same situation?  People who do not have fame, fortune or money deal with addictions too and the consequences are no less severe for them or their loved ones.

What are your thoughts? Do you love someone who struggles with addictions?  What have you done to survive the ups and downs?  Where did you find help?

Miley Cyrus became so rich and so overwhelmingly popular that she began to make changes like dressing more provocatively.   She not only “grew up”; she changed her image.   She made very grown up videos with older men and she was caught on film smoking Salvia in a bong (which is not illegal in California but which has hallucinogenic affects on the people who smoke it).   Billy says that he always tried to be a friend to his children and now he regrets not being more of a disciplinarian type of a parent. Many parents realize this type of mistake…but, when there are people who form a wall around your child, I would imagine it is harder to talk things out.   Billy didn’t have the title of being his daughter’s manager in business either…so he had no official say so in those business decisions of hers.  He feels that much of what has happened in recent months has been out of his control.

Maybe that is true…yet truthfully, his children and his wife play a part in this scenario as well.  If they all respected him as the head of the family (instead of having the balance of power out of whack by earning power) then his opinion would carry more weight in their choices.  This is doubly sad because they all appear to love one another…but, there seems to be no authority except of those in their business life; who may or may not have their family’s best interest at heart.  Billy says that he has not profited from Miley as a person on her staff such as a publicist or manager.  I think that fact brings him some kind of comfort…but it has to be a small comfort.

Miley makes a lot of money through the sale of all kinds of merchandise & music.  She has become a powerhouse in the celebrity field and as such…she is afforded many “handlers”.  Those are the people who promote, publicize, and schedule Miley’s appearances and her image.  They are the only ones in control of her image. They are her authority, instead of her father or her God.

Miley’s father Billy says that when he has questioned some of those handlers about his daughter and the reason behind her handlers alleged attempts to desperately get their hands on some anonymous  young people’s cell phones and computers; he was allegedly told that it was “none of his business”.  While that may be true professionally, it certainly is not morally or in the area of parental concern.  His daughter and circumstances surrounding her well being most certainly are his business.  That is a God given right!

Now I don’t know about you…but when a man or woman’s child becomes a property that is so large that the parent is considered to be interfering when asking questions about how that child (even if that child is over the age of 18) representatives are dealing with details in his/her life; then, I have to question the motives of those behind the image.

When the Cyrus family came to California with the lure of the career and fame, they were supposedly a family united in faith.  It seems to me that Billy has regrets about where his family has found themselves at this point.  I can’t say that I blame him.  He and his wife Tish have separated at the end of 2010.  His children are all scattered.  He says that he would give it all up in a minute to go back to the way things were, if his family could be back where they started.

All I can think of when I read articles based on that interview is, Matthew 16:26 which says; “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or, what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”  They each made a decision to pursue their careers…and so it doesn’t just fall to the father.  Still, their intentions could have been the best when it all started.  After all, the show was a clean family show…who could have seen where it would lead?

This story still makes me sad, because like many Christians, you have to wonder if they thought they would go into the big city and change the dark places with the influence of their careers.  Instead, their family seems to have been changed, and if this interview speaks to the truth of the matter, Billy Ray Cyrus doesn’t appear to believe that those changes were not for the better or, worth the risk.  May God get into the midst of this family’s business and repair and heal the damage that has been done; restoring their faith and family values.  What are your thoughts?

Like those friends that you have in your Twitter or Facebook social media streams that post way too much private information online and embarrass you;  Barbie and Ken have created a bit of a public scene.  Ken took out ads on billboards trying to get Barbie back.  After a bit of to and fro online it seems Barbie could not resist the call of the plastic perfect Ken.  Uggg…do we need drama introduced to our children through their playthings?  I mean really, isn’t the real drama enough, in most children’s circle of influence through their parents, schoolmates family lives and relationships in school enough?  Do we really need to buy into some fabricated dysfunctional drama through our children’s dolls?

As much as I grew up with the make believe work of Barbie and all of her professional unrest…truly the woman just couldn’t decide what she wanted to be when she grew up!  She is like 50 right? Now she is reuniting with her main man Ken after a seven year separation where they each went their own ways supposedly?  What has Ken done as a partner in the relationship?  He is not clearly defined.  He does not have a clear role as a male role model.  What does Ken “do” for a living?  What does he have to offer a partner?  What caused him to decide that he and Barbie could resume a healthy romantic relationship after their previous failure?  Were they in counseling together?  Did they seek to work through individual issues before considering trying to rebuild their relationship?

If I am going to buy into the publicity of this reunited relationship of Ken and Barbie and encourage children to get involved…as an adult who wants stability in my children and grandchildren’s lives; I would want to see a healthy relationship develop.  Today’s families have way too much unhealthy emotional drama in their lives.  I think, the publicity on this thing went in the wrong direction.

Then again, some people don’t often demand healthy relationships of the people in their lives either. Some allow dramas to play out on our social media streams without trying to encourage people to clean up their relationships and get real help for their troubles; instead of temporarily patching things up just to keep repeating unhealthy patterns of behavior.

I, for one, won’t be encouraging this public pandering of Barbie and Ken because I don’t happen to see any socially redeeming benefits.  Have we heard about why Barbie and Ken took a vacation from their relationship only to be wooed back into a surface relationship without benefit of working through their issues?  Are they getting help from a qualified counselor to build up their relationship and repair the troubles that broke them up in the first place? No…we only see that they have decided that they miss one another and still are attracted to one another.  Not good enough.

Kids need healthy boundaries and good role models to encourage strong, healthy relationships in their own real life world.  I understand this is about advertising & marketing…but, if they want the public to go with the flow then the powers that be that came up with this Barbie and Ken drama should have followed up with more than…it is Valentine’s day and I want you back because you are hot, and you sweet talked me into it, kind of script.  Don’t we have a right to expect better from Mattel?

What do you think? Does Mattel have a responsibility to promote their products in a healthier way to children?  Baby boomers are loyal…but, most of us have achieved some semblance of maturity in how we conduct ourselves.  Don’t we have a right as consumers, who helped to build their brand, to expect a better standard of respect for our families than just a gimmicky way to promote sales of their iconic dolls to our children and grandchildren?  Let me know what you think of this controversy!

The impact of that was the beginning of the fitness niche that you see today.  Exercise was not just a gimmick for Jack, like you see so many businesses pushing today; just to make money.  It wasn’t a fad for him, it was a way of life, each and every day.  Jack LaLanne I remember you and your wife Elaine’s career; and, I remember how you inspired a nation to get fit by setting an example with your words, your actions and your life.

Today, I myself will get up and get moving; I’ll start on my exercise bike.  My son is going to begin an intensive interval training program called Fearless 45 today. I will do my best to encourage him to follow through…not just for a short term goal but to promote life long health and well-being.  That is what Jack tried to teach all who would listen was to make well-being.

I myself have gotten away from living a life of healthy exercise and eating right.  I love that you lived a whole life of fitness from the moment you understood it’s power to enhance you day to day existence.  Your television show was on the air for something like 34 years.  You made guest appearances on other shows, on network news and on videos and the like.  I can still hear the excitement and the dedication in your voice.

How wonderful it would be to have that same joy and commitment.  So, today Jack LaLanne I will dedicate my first day of being recommitted to exercise as a permanent lifestyle change.  Thank you, God bless you and your family.  As a side note: that link to Fearless 45 is an affiliate link and if you were to purchase it…I would be financially compensated. That doesn’t take away from the fact that it is a good program for those who are approved by their doctors to be healthy enough to pursue that level of fitness.

There are rich people with just as many problems as poor people.  In fact, often having too much money  is often more of a curse.   Some rich people try to hold on to as much of it as they can and don’t pay their rightful taxes on it; going to prison over that concept.   Look at people who struggle with an over-abundance and you will see what I am talking about.   Think about some of those music or movie stars that you see them plastered all over the tabloid papers strung out on drugs or alcohol; hanging with the wrong crowd and getting into legal troubles.  Some are homeless or about to be due to financial mismanagement.  Family secrets come out and many times, it is because someone feels slighted at not being “given” enough from that person.  Friends and acquaintances sell stories about them to the media…loyalty and true friendship are tested because of the temptation to “sell them out” for money. 

It isn’t unheard of to read about a wealthy family who is going head- to- head over who is getting what, when one of their own passes away and doesn’t handle distributing that wealth evenly to their family, friends, or their caregivers.  Even someone who has money and passes away can be sued (at least their estate can).  Sad isn’t it?

People who live on the street and are homeless are often without the basics in life because of a lack of money.  In fact, Ted Williams made the news recently as a homeless person who was recorded, on tape, by a reporter carrying a sign proclaiming his God given voice in the hopes of getting a job doing voice overs or radio work because of his talent.

It worked…in a matter of days he was carried along on a media whirlwind that took him from coast to coast in the United States doing interviews…receiving jobs offers and offers of a place to live.  He did heartfelt interviews talking about his past addictions (2 yrs of sobriety he claimed) and run ins with the law.  He was on a high of emotion from the sudden shift in his luck and station in life…given a second chance to turn things around.  I am sure in the back of his mind when he was  sleeping alongside the highway in a tent…he probably thought; if only I could get my hands on some money everything will be alright!  Many people would probably think that.

The truth of the matter is that he was still drinking.  He was still in denial.  He had a meeting with his mama, who he hadn’t seen in years, where she told him basically not to let her down this time.  She had prayed for him to turn his life around and to be safe.  To me that spoke of the hurting  journey of a parent (or loved one) to a person who has struggled with long term addictions.  This proved to be true.  The media started to say how hard it was going to be for him to suddenly be financially better off and not be tempted to go back to his old ways.

Now news reports say that Dr. Phil has done a series of three interviews with Ted and his family members out of concern about his sobriety and his addictions.  One of Ted’s 9 children allegedly got into some kind of confrontation in a hotel in California  where the police were called.  Since this time, Ted Williams has allegedly agreed to go into rehab after confessing that he has been drinking still.

Before this,  it was touted that all of Ted’s struggles were over because of  his sudden good luck.  The offers of money, jobs, and media attention seemed like a miracle opportunity for him.  It still could be;  if he does what Dr. Phil and his family truly want and need him to do which is to deal with the reasons behind his addictions and commit himself to recovery.  His relationships can be improved upon… possibly even healed from years of hurt and disappointments.  His opportunities will still be there for him to pursue when he is rooted in a real recovery.  You see, money doesn’t fix everything…it can be a tool to turn his world upside right again, or it can be the tool that destroys him.

So many of us wanted to buy into the story of a lucky Ted Williams who needed an opportunity and a little money and it would be a great story of overcoming difficult circumstances.  We wanted to see him do good.  We still do.  Now we want it more, knowing that he needs more than dollars and a place to live.  He needs help, he needs support, he needs professional intervention to help him regain control of the things in life that have held him back and away from those in his life who want him to be there in their lives healthy and whole again.  It is possible, and maybe just maybe with that help, the power of prayer and the love and support of those who care about him he will stand a fighting chance.

If you see someone who needs help getting back on their feet…don’t be so quick to just hand over money.  Think about what their circumstances really need to be turned around.  Find a way to help that isn’t a quick fix.  What are some ways to help a person in the same kind of situation as Ted Williams?

Twitter is not a place to be a wallflower.  You have to speak with others, comment on things that they say; break the ice with someone you may not be familiar with.  You are in charge of who you accept into your Twitter stream or conversation by who you follow and who you allow to follow you.  Choose wisely based on what you are trying to accomplish on Twitter.  In other words, choose people to interact with who interest you, don’t offend you and last but not least people who support your personal growth as a person, business owner or in an area of impact that you wish to be a part of.

The most successful people who use Twitter still understand it’s basic component and that is the power of connection whether it be connecting to other Twitter users have a social relationship or to bring people together for a common cause, interest or purpose…Twitter is a boon.  People who are already interested in your “business” aspect are predisposed to interact with you.  If your business is to get a message out on a certain subject…there are people out there who are predisposed to interact with you.  It is the same.   Most importantly Twitter is about relationships.  People who love Twitter get that.  They harness that understanding to meet, greet and connect with like-minded people.

Like any positive and productive and long-standing relationship it needs time, attention and respect.  Twitter not working for you?  Think about how you are using it.  Are you talking at people, or with people?  Are you exchanging thoughts/ideas or interactions that not only benefit you but benefit others in a way that they can appreciate you?

So whatever you are about, wanting to share, hoping to achieve, wishing to impact; let’s remember that you need to be aware of not only “minding your own business” on Twitter; but consider some other issues as well.   Take the time to support, encourage, draw out and interact with those people who you can enjoy some spending time with and be your authentic self; just like in your real, everyday offline life!  Twitter is your social network whether you use it to connect to famous celebrities, find friendship, support social causes, spotlight non-profits, proclaim your faith, or brand your business and gain customers.  Whatever you use Twitter for, just remember that your words have impact as do your connections & relationships; make the best of it.

Allegedly there are even more sound bites from these audio recordings that have equally disturbing comments from Mel Gibson. In the past, he has been accused by some as having made disturbing comments about Jews when he was arrested.  It was said in reference to those statements, that he was under the influence.  Others would argue that what is in the heart bubbles to the surface when that person’s inhibitions are loosened up from drugs/alcohol.

This past year has seen Mr. Gibson separate from his wife of 30 years, Robyn only to publically engage in his relationship with Ms. Oksana Grigorieva.   They had a female child, Lucia, together and it is alleged by Oksana that Mel Gibson physically assaulted her by hitting her in the face, while she was holding their daughter, causing physical harm to Oksana; as well as threatening to burn down her residence. 

 Mel is now being investigated for domestic violence by law enforcement.  A tallent agency has stopped representing him in the last week as well after Mel supposedly made disparaging remarks about hispanics whom he allegedly called “wetbacks”.  His personal reputation is going through some rapid changes.   He has been a successful actor in the box office for years earning kudos from the entertainment world and from fans alike. 

These audio tapes, if proven to be his voice, are not going to help Mel Gibson dispell the impression that he is guilty of domestic violence when the tone of voice, that is alleged to be him, states the Oksana looks like a whore, has fake breasts and that she dresses in a provocative way; the male voice goes on to say that if she is attacked and raped by a pack of (N-word insulting name for African Americans) then she DESERVES that. 

No-one deserves to be raped EVER by ANYONE; and I think, if he did make those statesment that it will be hard to regain any semblance of respect from people who believe as I do that it is wrong to say such things as well as to believe it.   Also, the voice on the tape seems to dismiss Oksana by saying things such as I do not trust you, I don’t love you and I don’t want you; these are meant to tear down and diminish the context of their relationship.  It was a relationship that would not be condoned by the church because it was outside of a marriage situation; still, he chose to indulge in a relationship with her so to talk in such a way about her is insulting on many levels.   Whoa, talk about offensive!

I mean, obviously she was a good enough woman to have sex with; as evidenced by the birth of their child.  He was attracted to her enough for that.   He stepped outside of his marriage to have the relationship with Oksana.   Yet, in the same vein, she is a whore; beneath contempt evidenced by his alleged words.   These are the mixed up thoughts of a man who has not come to the understanding of the wholeness of an intimate relationship.  I mean, you can’t have sex with a person outside of marriage and condem them without also condeming yourself.  If she is a whore…then what makes him any different than her?  Is this self hate that he is directing at her because he can’t sort it out in his own head?  You have to wonder if his relationship with Oksana is the only illicit relationship that he has indulged in; maybe guilt is eating him alive.

How do you go from being in a marriage of over 30 years; to starting a new relationship with a woman who is not your wife, while still married and with whom you create a child; and then espouse your intense dislike and disrespect for that same person in such a way as to try to demean them as a person and as a woman.   Inflicting alleged verbal, emotional and physical abuse upon them for the very acts that you willingly engaged in; when you yourself are a willing participant in the relationship, is a difficult concept for people to understand.  If one is at fault, then both is at fault in the eyes of God, unless it is a forced sexual contact.

Emotions are very convoluted…mixed up with lust, anger, resentment, sadness and loathing not to mention guilt and embarassment.   The conscious is a complicated thing; when people go against their own moral or religious values to give in to sin or temptation…the spirit rebels.  Words and actions start to conflict with one another and it causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships.   The conscious is inside each of us to keep us from wrongdoing…it is a tool.  When we disregard the very core of our beings and choose to step outside of what we believe is right/wrong we end up punishing ourselves and others in ways that we don’t understand.

This is one loaded audio recording: if indeed Mr. Gibson said, let alone thought any of these things.   Then, it is indicative of a man eaten alive by a corrosive hate for not only those who are different from him by race or by being born female, as well.  Let’s remember, Oksana is the MOTHER of his child as much as Robyn is; although Robyn had every moral and legal right as his wife to have the fullness of marriage by having intimate relations with him and giving birth to his children.   Eventually Mel and Oksana’s young daughter Lucia will grow up and read of his rantings and judgements.   On the other side of things, Mel already has children, from his marriage, old enough to read and understand his words and deeds.   These kinds of words and actions are destructive to family relationships.   What must Robyn or his adult children think of his behavior…his thoughts, his words and his mindset?   Mel is still their father but they too must be trying to sort out this confusing circumstances.

Mel appears to be a man of conflicting images.  He is on one hand professionally praised by other actors and actresses and co-workers.  But, don’t you have to wonder how they feel, hearing of his feelings about women, race relations and appearances?  He was known for years as a family man to the public.   He was known for his Catholic beliefs.   He was a benefactor for children and agencies that helped them.  Yet, in the last few years he has had issues that have festered to the surface in public and in private.  Who is the real Mel Gibson?

It is just my observation but, Mel comes across to me as a man who is embroiled in inner conflicts that he does not know how to resolve.  A husband, father, family man/a man who was allegedly involved in a romantic relationship outside of his marriage vows, a good Catholic/yet a man who openly hates Jews (Jesus was a Jew), An actor and director who works with women in the entertainment industry who often dress provocatively for movie roles and for publicity; and, people of all skin colors and various religious beliefs, both behind the scenes and in film roles on the screen. 

People who are tormented with hatred of others, simply because of their own intolerence for people who are different from them, are the most miserable people.  Their intense dislike of others is caustic and hard to rally support for except from like-minded people who are also filled with judgement and hatred.  Usually there is also a large supply of self- hatred underneath it all which is masked by self-medicating behavior with drugs, alcohol, cutting or self maiming physical behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, or promiscuity; all of which are self destructive.  

What is needed is a healing of the physical, emotional and spiritual person.  Someone who fills up on hate or self destructive behaviors is someone who is trying to fill up empty spots or voids in their lives.  They don’t know how to heal and often will need professional help; such as legal intervention, sometimes medical help such as medication, psychological evaluations and treatment, and spiritual guidance which focuses on positive guidelines for building up an attitude of love, encouragement and peace.  Someone who has been indoctrinated since childhood with hate may require long term intervention before they are able to accept not only themselves but others on an equal footing or at least in an unconfrontational way of life.

A person’s legacy is a very important thing.  It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or not;  we alone determine the kind of legacy that we leave this earth with; by our thoughts, our actions, and by the way we make others feel.    We live such a short time on this earth so why spend it in turmoil, unhappiness, anger and violence.  Life is so much more rewarding when people find ways to live in peace, harmony, and love.  If you or someone you know is imploding from hatred in their heart and mind…please find help before you destroy yourself or others.

       For once in recent months, she is not at the mercy of someone else out to make news headlines from standing on top of her tragic connection to the negative headlines concerning her husband’s alleged infidelities.   I am sure this is not how she originally planned to announce her son’s birth; however,  it is good to have a bright light in this situation…Sandra’s celebration of her new life with her son.

        Sandra who is known for her clean and loving image and reputation has been dealt a raw deal by those alleged mistresses and their stories that they’ve shared in the media.  Their public claims of “sorry for the mess” carries little weight, I am sure.  Their requests for one- on- one time with her to discuss their “relationships” with Sandra’s husband…should not be given the time of day.  Sandra owes them no such gesture.  

       All along, Sandra has kept her peace and her dignity.  Not easy to do with some of the muck that was published.  However, Sandra is now voicing the fact that she is divorcing her husband, and also sharing the joy of her leap into single motherhood.  She has the finances and the support systems to be able to parent quite well as a single mother.  She will not face many of the challenges that many other single mothers face and that is a blessing.   The dissolution of her marriage is a tragedy…leave her alone to heal on that.   Allow her to celebrate and enjoy the things that bring happiness to her and her loved ones; for once, don’t pick at what should be a private family event.

        The People article speaks of the fact that Sandra and Jesse were adopting her son Louis together in January.  Then came the Oscars…they were waiting until that event was over to announce the adoption of their son.  We all know that a week after the Oscars the headlines gleefully announced the assault on Sandra’s marriage.  Women came out of the wood-work to share the gory details of their encounters with Jesse James.  Sandra moved out of the home she shared with her husband and his children from former relationships.   The tabloids took joy in following up one lurid headline after another…and it is unfortunate that there is a huge market for selling such newspapers on the backs of other people’s pain and misery.  It doesn’t speak well of our culture to have such an environment for our children to grow up in, in my opinion.

          She kept quiet in the media, except to declare the fact that an alleged sex tape did not exist.  That had to be painful enough to have to address something related to the horror of those stories; still, now it is easy to understand why she made the statement.  It was to distance herself from being tainted with the poor choices of those who brought down her marriage.  She was not reponsibile for making such personally devastating choices with her own behavior; even though allegedly her husband and those who had physical relationships with him are.  Sandra should not be held accountable for their actions nor should she suffer the loss of her son because of them.  By stating that there was no sex tape with her in it…she was standing tall and distancing herself from the immoral activity that was affecting her because of her association with it just by being married to Jesse. 

        I can imagine the fear and despair she felt as a new adoptive parent.   She had to have been fearful that the agencies that approved her adoption process would rightfully question whether that adoption should be finalized.  It is every adoptive parents concern that “something” will happen to derail an adoption and tear apart a parent-child relationship that has formed.  

        The headlines screamed all kinds of concern about the stability of Sandra and Jesse’s relationship at this point.  It would only be right of those concerned about the welfare of a child to want to know how that would impact Sandra’s son.  Remember, courts have to insure the best interests of the child; that is a big responsibility.   But, for most adoptive parents, any concerns an agency or court would have would normally be addressed privately…not in the media.   No adoptive parent wants something to come into play that would jepardize their blossoming relationship with their child or perhaps end their quest to come together as parent and child.

          For those who have no relationship with adoption, you should know that adoptive parents often live with others putting their parenting under the microscope.   People in general feel that it is ok to voice their input about an adoptive parent should or should not do in regards to parenting their child.  In Sandra’s case, she was a victim of circumstance and timing.  Jesse made those choices and Jesse has to address those issues within himself.  

        Jesse went off to rehab…and allegedly left rehab…only to return.  In the meantime, I am sure the behind the scenes details continued to be worked out in regards to the adoption.   Strength and courage in the face of challenges comes from a person’s internal character.  It doesn’t make the devastation any less with the dissolution of a marriage…however, I am sure that Sandra’s relationship with her friends and family will help her to heal. 

          I would caution readers to remember that there are many “innocent” people in these situations from in-laws to friends and neighbors.  They all suffer when these things happen; that is both the beauty and the pain of having deep personal relationships with others.   With the announcement that Sandra is now adopting her son as a single parent and stating that the adoption is no longer including Jesse, the concerns about stability and appropriateness should now be eliminated.   Louis will be loved, protected, and cared for and that is the goal of adoption.  It is all life changing news that Sandra “chose” to share with People magazine. 

        Congratulations Sandra Bullock on the adoption of your son.  May you have a long, healthy & happy life together as mother and son.  No matter what happens with your marriage, I hope that you are able to continue having a loving and supportive relationship with Jesse’s children.   They will need that and so will you. 

         Life gets so complicated sometimes and the innocent are often caught up in the ripples of negativity from the actions of others.  Sandra has been a constant in Jesse’s children’s life for quite a few years now…hopefully that can continue.  I am sure that the older children have begun to bond with Louis as well…may peace and love be yours once again.  Oh and by the way, let me be the first to say, Happy Mother’s Day in a couple weeks!

       It was said that Michael left a note saying that he planned to kill himself because of his depression.  He said it made him feel like he had no friends and didn’t fit in.   This is so tragic; he was only 18.  Michael is one of Marie and her ex-husband Brian Blonsil’s eight children.  He was adopted as well as several of the other children.  It has not been revealed to the public what sort of issues that Michael had been dealing with over the years…and maybe it should never be information for the public to know.  Those issues were private…and even though some of the Osmonds are very public people…they have a right to privacy as they grieve.

       I do know that when you are an adoptive family, you often live under a microscope.  People feel free to judge or to freely give advice on raising those children to the parents who have chosen to add them to their family.   It adds a level of interferrence in the raising of adopted children who are being grafted or blended into an existing family.  This is sometimes no easy feat; especially if the children happen to be a bit older when the adoption takes place.  I can only imagine how much more difficult the situation is when there is fame involved with the adoptive family.

        Depression is a big challenge and unless you have some personal relationship with the issue…it can be hard to understand.   However, Marie herself struggled with post partum depression after giving birth to one of her children.  It can severely affect not only the individual who struggles with it…but anyone who loves them.   It is important to get help if you are dealing with depression.  Many people don’t realize how serious it can be.  Sometimes depression is a chemical imbalance and medication can help; other times, other therapies can be helpful.  Talk to a health professional right away if you or someone you care about is struggling with depression.

        I can only hope that the media will respect this family as they try to deal with the loss of Michael.  Suicide leaves a lot of damage for the survivors left behind.   There will need to be some major healing time for this family.   May God help them all.

       Please, if you are someone who struggles with depression or suicidal thoughts; or, you know someone who is…please seek immediate help by checking out this site:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  or by contacting a health care professional.