Allegedly there are even more sound bites from these audio recordings that have equally disturbing comments from Mel Gibson. In the past, he has been accused by some as having made disturbing comments about Jews when he was arrested.  It was said in reference to those statements, that he was under the influence.  Others would argue that what is in the heart bubbles to the surface when that person’s inhibitions are loosened up from drugs/alcohol.

This past year has seen Mr. Gibson separate from his wife of 30 years, Robyn only to publically engage in his relationship with Ms. Oksana Grigorieva.   They had a female child, Lucia, together and it is alleged by Oksana that Mel Gibson physically assaulted her by hitting her in the face, while she was holding their daughter, causing physical harm to Oksana; as well as threatening to burn down her residence. 

 Mel is now being investigated for domestic violence by law enforcement.  A tallent agency has stopped representing him in the last week as well after Mel supposedly made disparaging remarks about hispanics whom he allegedly called “wetbacks”.  His personal reputation is going through some rapid changes.   He has been a successful actor in the box office for years earning kudos from the entertainment world and from fans alike. 

These audio tapes, if proven to be his voice, are not going to help Mel Gibson dispell the impression that he is guilty of domestic violence when the tone of voice, that is alleged to be him, states the Oksana looks like a whore, has fake breasts and that she dresses in a provocative way; the male voice goes on to say that if she is attacked and raped by a pack of (N-word insulting name for African Americans) then she DESERVES that. 

No-one deserves to be raped EVER by ANYONE; and I think, if he did make those statesment that it will be hard to regain any semblance of respect from people who believe as I do that it is wrong to say such things as well as to believe it.   Also, the voice on the tape seems to dismiss Oksana by saying things such as I do not trust you, I don’t love you and I don’t want you; these are meant to tear down and diminish the context of their relationship.  It was a relationship that would not be condoned by the church because it was outside of a marriage situation; still, he chose to indulge in a relationship with her so to talk in such a way about her is insulting on many levels.   Whoa, talk about offensive!

I mean, obviously she was a good enough woman to have sex with; as evidenced by the birth of their child.  He was attracted to her enough for that.   He stepped outside of his marriage to have the relationship with Oksana.   Yet, in the same vein, she is a whore; beneath contempt evidenced by his alleged words.   These are the mixed up thoughts of a man who has not come to the understanding of the wholeness of an intimate relationship.  I mean, you can’t have sex with a person outside of marriage and condem them without also condeming yourself.  If she is a whore…then what makes him any different than her?  Is this self hate that he is directing at her because he can’t sort it out in his own head?  You have to wonder if his relationship with Oksana is the only illicit relationship that he has indulged in; maybe guilt is eating him alive.

How do you go from being in a marriage of over 30 years; to starting a new relationship with a woman who is not your wife, while still married and with whom you create a child; and then espouse your intense dislike and disrespect for that same person in such a way as to try to demean them as a person and as a woman.   Inflicting alleged verbal, emotional and physical abuse upon them for the very acts that you willingly engaged in; when you yourself are a willing participant in the relationship, is a difficult concept for people to understand.  If one is at fault, then both is at fault in the eyes of God, unless it is a forced sexual contact.

Emotions are very convoluted…mixed up with lust, anger, resentment, sadness and loathing not to mention guilt and embarassment.   The conscious is a complicated thing; when people go against their own moral or religious values to give in to sin or temptation…the spirit rebels.  Words and actions start to conflict with one another and it causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships.   The conscious is inside each of us to keep us from wrongdoing…it is a tool.  When we disregard the very core of our beings and choose to step outside of what we believe is right/wrong we end up punishing ourselves and others in ways that we don’t understand.

This is one loaded audio recording: if indeed Mr. Gibson said, let alone thought any of these things.   Then, it is indicative of a man eaten alive by a corrosive hate for not only those who are different from him by race or by being born female, as well.  Let’s remember, Oksana is the MOTHER of his child as much as Robyn is; although Robyn had every moral and legal right as his wife to have the fullness of marriage by having intimate relations with him and giving birth to his children.   Eventually Mel and Oksana’s young daughter Lucia will grow up and read of his rantings and judgements.   On the other side of things, Mel already has children, from his marriage, old enough to read and understand his words and deeds.   These kinds of words and actions are destructive to family relationships.   What must Robyn or his adult children think of his behavior…his thoughts, his words and his mindset?   Mel is still their father but they too must be trying to sort out this confusing circumstances.

Mel appears to be a man of conflicting images.  He is on one hand professionally praised by other actors and actresses and co-workers.  But, don’t you have to wonder how they feel, hearing of his feelings about women, race relations and appearances?  He was known for years as a family man to the public.   He was known for his Catholic beliefs.   He was a benefactor for children and agencies that helped them.  Yet, in the last few years he has had issues that have festered to the surface in public and in private.  Who is the real Mel Gibson?

It is just my observation but, Mel comes across to me as a man who is embroiled in inner conflicts that he does not know how to resolve.  A husband, father, family man/a man who was allegedly involved in a romantic relationship outside of his marriage vows, a good Catholic/yet a man who openly hates Jews (Jesus was a Jew), An actor and director who works with women in the entertainment industry who often dress provocatively for movie roles and for publicity; and, people of all skin colors and various religious beliefs, both behind the scenes and in film roles on the screen. 

People who are tormented with hatred of others, simply because of their own intolerence for people who are different from them, are the most miserable people.  Their intense dislike of others is caustic and hard to rally support for except from like-minded people who are also filled with judgement and hatred.  Usually there is also a large supply of self- hatred underneath it all which is masked by self-medicating behavior with drugs, alcohol, cutting or self maiming physical behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, or promiscuity; all of which are self destructive.  

What is needed is a healing of the physical, emotional and spiritual person.  Someone who fills up on hate or self destructive behaviors is someone who is trying to fill up empty spots or voids in their lives.  They don’t know how to heal and often will need professional help; such as legal intervention, sometimes medical help such as medication, psychological evaluations and treatment, and spiritual guidance which focuses on positive guidelines for building up an attitude of love, encouragement and peace.  Someone who has been indoctrinated since childhood with hate may require long term intervention before they are able to accept not only themselves but others on an equal footing or at least in an unconfrontational way of life.

A person’s legacy is a very important thing.  It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or not;  we alone determine the kind of legacy that we leave this earth with; by our thoughts, our actions, and by the way we make others feel.    We live such a short time on this earth so why spend it in turmoil, unhappiness, anger and violence.  Life is so much more rewarding when people find ways to live in peace, harmony, and love.  If you or someone you know is imploding from hatred in their heart and mind…please find help before you destroy yourself or others.

       The incident involved the forced, and coerced, tattooing of a 14 year old special needs student.  This student had been exposed to bullying at school; and, these so called adults (all over the age of 18) allegedly told him that the bullying would stop if he got a tattoo.  He said he didn’t want one; but still, he was allegedly threatened and forced to get a tattoo which had some kind of image along with obscene words on his buttocks. 

         Tattoos take time to apply to a person; even when a person wants to have one.  I can’t imagine what this young man endured during this “procedure”.  He’s been taunted at school by other students who are picking on him because of his special needs and then he is assaulted in this way.  Not only is he physically scared but he is also emotionally scared because these people chose to humiliate and abuse him. 

         This whole situation came to the attention of the authorities because pictures of this young 14 year old abuse victim were being circulated at school and a teacher reported it to the authorities when they became aware of the pictures.    Thank you to the unknown teacher who had the courage to do the right thing!  Teachers don’t often get enough credit these days for what they do at school for our kids.  Often, teachers are on the first line of defense when it comes to protecting special needs students from abuse or bullying.   Along the same lines, other students who are caring and filled with the strength of character to be an advocate for special needs students are becoming more rare these days.  To those of you who do the right thing in these types of situations…I thank you as well.

        I wonder, just how many people saw these photos and laughed?  Were they amused at the image, the words, or just the fact that someone that they considered to be of a lessor value than they themselves, or one of their friends, was put in this position of having their picture plastered all over the school for others to look at and make fun of him? 

         Were they not moved by compassion to report such a terrible crime?  How can a person take joy in the torture, humiliation, or abuse of another person; whether they know them or not?  Is not a special needs person worthy of protection, compassion, or caring? 

          I mean, even if someone does not know a special needs person; don’t they understand that they have feelings and emotions just like they themselves?  Everyone wants to feel safe, be loved, be accepted and have friends at school.  It is unacceptable that this situation was turned into a source of entertainment by some students. 

          The victim here was only 14 years old.  I think that those pictures should be considered sexual exploitation by anyone who had access to them or viewed them and did not report it.  Any person who was passing along the photos to others should suffer consequences as well as the people who were involved in the actual abuse of this young man.

       How can people who are supposedly blessed with average or above intellectual abilities treat another human being in this way?  What gives them the right to consider themselves better than another person; simply because of a perceived imperfection called special needs?   It is wrong, it is cruel, it is immoral, and it is…ILLEGAL. 

       Parents, teachers, neighbors, grandparents, church leaders we must all take our roles of leadership seriously and start instilling in our young people tolerance, compassion and empathy towards others; especially the most vulnerable individuals in our society such as young children, the elderly or those who are afflicted with disabilities.   It is important that we do this because as a nation, we are losing our moral compass because people who can do these kind of horrible things to their fellow human beings and not see something wrong with it are becoming more common everyday.

         Hello…no-one SHOULD have to tell another person that this kind of behavior is wrong.   However, New Hampsire’s court system should make it clear; because these four individuals in New Hampshire have been arrested and charged for their actions.   Let’s hope that the legal system really makes an impact on others who think they can be cruel, and treat other human beings any way they want to and get away with it; by making the legal punishment fit the crime.   The punishment should be large enough to send a message to anyone else who may consider bullying or abusing a special needs individual, that it is NOT the right thing to do!   What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for someone who abuses another person in this way?

        That is fine and good…even an interesting social experiment if you ask me.  However, recently some of these flash mobs have turned towards destructive behaviors such as blocking traffic, walking streets and smashing windows, climbing on vehicles and scaring tourists and community members. 

          Many of these flash mobs are being organized with text messages, online social media sites like Twitter and Facebook as well as others.   Even in the best of circumstances, an event that is organized like this has the potential to go from good to bad at a moment’s notice. 

           However, my feeling is that depending on what the original intent of the coming together of large groups of young people; it is imperitive that they maintain a clear head and think for themselves.   If the “invitation” to come together is for a theme or idea of something good and pure…then by all means, go with the best of intentions.  Do good.  Have fun.   Enjoy!  However, be responsible for yourself and your actions.  If things start to go badly…use that technology or social media to notify authorities.  Don’t join in illegal, immoral, or destructive behaviors.

       If that “invitation” for a flash mob or group activity starts out with some destructive purpose…be responsible; don’t join in, and please, notify the authorities about what you have seen or heard.  Don’t take the pathway of “It is not my responsibility to do anything about it”.  If you “know” about it…you have a responsibility to report it, in my opinion.  You could be instrumental in preventing a tragedy, or violence or some kind of related damage to an event that never had the potential of being a positive event in the first place.

        Thinking for oneself is critical to keeping people on a positive moral track.  It can help prevent a person from being caught up in that group mentality that can have long term legal, moral,physical, spiritual and emotional consequences.

         Instilling a strong sense of values and personal responsibility in children is the best way to avoid raising up young adults who will diregard the safety and well-being of others or in other words desensitizing them to doing what is the right thing to do in any given circumstance.

          Any time we try to persuade someone to go along with the crowd, without thinking that action through, weighing the pros and cons of taking such an action; it is wrong.  

           I happen to love social media, the immediacy of the technological world that we live in…but like anything in our environment it can be perverted or used for selfish intent.   Teaching our young people to think for themselves, to consider any consequences of their actions before they choose to follow the crowd can make for stronger individuals and promote a life of keen decision making.   Believe it or not, it can also be a shot in the arm at preventing crime or illegal activities that can negatively impact our families, our communities, businesses, and our schools.

           Parents, friends, neighbors, clergy, teachers…authority figures of any description need to inspire our youth to live and breathe independent thinking; combined with responsibility and caring action.  If you see someone who is being be-littled or bullied by others, or being controlled by stronger willed personalities in their lives…encourage them to stand true to themselves and the values that they believe it.  Teach them it is ok to do the right thing- teach them to recognize what IS the right thing.   In fact, live that life yourself and be an inspiration; simply by the way you live your own life. 

       First off, I want to say that I did not join in or comment on her Twitter stream because I don’t think that she is looking so much for conversation about her choice to abort a pregnancy, as she is looking for agreement with her right to do so, as well as some notoriety.  She says that she was looking for support from her friends during the abortion. 

        See, the back story is that this woman has a 4 year old special needs son.  She lives with the child and her boyfriend (the father of this child she is trying to abort).  I wonder what he thinks…if he is as much in support of the public abortion as she is?  In her twitter stream she called this child she was carrying a “thing”, a thing that didn’t have sex organs yet; in relationship to another twitter persons tweet for life. 

         I am trying to imagine what a man would think about his child being called a thing?  What about grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins or the woman’s young son when he grows up…how do, or will, any of them feel about this abortion?  Should their opinions count?    How does abortion impact those who are in relationships with people who choose abortion as their path?  Does it create issues between them if they are in disagreement with the choice to have an abortion?

        According to the news articles that I have read, this adult woman had a first pregnancy which was allegedly life threatening to her.  She was “advised” not to get pregnant again because of that first pregnancy and the high risk that she endured.  So, from what I understand from the various articles on the subject…she decided that if she were to get pregnant again she would have an abortion to end it.  Obviously, whatever form of birth control they were using was not effective because she became pregnant.

       When she discovered that she was pregnant she allegedly tweeted that she was pregnant.  She found out early that she was indeed pregnant so that allowed her to use the chemical form of abortion called RU486.  Since she went this route…she has been tweeting the process.  Telling of the cramping, the bleeding, and all of the other gory details.  This process can take days.   This process of abortion can be  dangerous…but, she seems to believe that it is worth the risk. 

         I do not believe in abortion…and it seems to me that it is a gamble with her life either way…either from carrying the pregnancy as far as is humanly possible or, from having the abortion.   I would not wish a high risk pregnancy on anyone; however, I personally would have more respect for her had she tried to carry this baby to term.  Even if she did not want to raise the child…she could attempt to give it life and place the child for adoption.

        Some people have been very supportive of what she is doing…others are not.  After all, abortion is a very polarizing subject.  People react according to their personal beliefs, experiences,  and values.  This woman also says that she is an athiest.   From my visit to her Twitter stream I found her to be not only vocal about the abortion but also about religion and other subjects, such as foster care.  She like anyone in America has a right to voice her opinion.  Yet, she uses language that many would deem vulgar or filled with obsenities; hardly language that one would use to try to educate or pursuade another person towards their way of thinking on a particular subject.    She allegedly says that she is astonished at the level of reaction and attention that her attempt to “educate” people about abortion has attracted.

        I find that hard to believe.  I don’t think that you choose to go against traditional beliefs, values, and lifestyle without expecting others to have a strong reaction to it.  I happen to believe that for whatever reason, the very fact that many other people find her actions (regarding the abortion) and beliefs (religion) so wrong and offensive, gives her a sense of, her against the world… and I think in her mind, it empowers her.   Especially when those who oppose her strongly, wrongly attack her personally in their objection to what she has chosen to do.  Unfortunately, it seems that some people have even threatened her life…not only is that wrong…it is illegal.  The authorities will be involved in those situations appropriately, I am sure. 

       Understand, she is going to do what she wants to do; what we in this country have legally allowed her and any other woman that chooses to; and, that is to be able to legally abort the life of her child.  However, I myself do not wish to be watching her do what I myself find personally wrong.  I do believe in God and I believe in spiritual consequences.  She says that she doesn’t believe in God.  That is probably true…because I dont think it is easy to do what she is doing and have a close relationship with God…who i believe is the author of life. 

         A great number of women who have abortions suffer in later years because of their decision to abort.  They have emotional, physical and spiritual damage to their beings.  Some do not and continue to go on and have repeat abortions according to what their conscience dictates.  Legally this is allowed in the United States; it is unfortunate in my opinion.

        She doesn’t appear to care about my opinion or anyone elses probably.  By giving her more attention, it feeds the flames.  However, in my opinion the taking of the life of her child and throwing it away is wrong.  Once the child was conceived…it should have the right to be born.   What if she gets pregnant again in the future?  Why not pursue a permanent solution to her pregnancy potential?

          What about her life…the one that potentially could be threatened should she try to carry the baby (she calls it cells)?  Calling the baby a clump of cells is an attempt to deny the value of the life she carried.  Well, in my opinion…once she was told that it would be life threatening, in the future, for her to become pregnant; then, if she felt that she needed to protect her life…she either should have avoided sex (not practical) or she should have sought some permanent means of birth control such as having her tubes tied, or having a partial hysterectomy… or by choosing a sexual partner who had also taken drastic means of curbing the possibility of creating a pregnancy.   A combination of those choices would have ensured that she would not have become pregnant. 

         This whole subject opens to the door to a discussion about social media and what is acceptable, what will be allowed…what will people endorse or reject.  What are the socially acceptable standards or limitations?  Will we see someone comitting crimes and tweeting about it?  Or posting it on Facebook, or Myspace?  It is the testing of those limits that creates this drive to be the person that pushes the envelope.  It creates a media sensation or a backwards sort of fame.   It is horribly sad to me that in this case it was at the expense of the life of an unborn child.  What are your thoughts?

Bullying is more complicated these days because of the way in which it is done; it is psychological, it is persistent, and it can include threats, violence, or even sexual threats.  Most people over the age of 40 remember the school bully…you know the one.  He/She was the person who everyone feared and gave a wide berth to just because he sought out and picked on those he/she knew for a fact that they could take on and win.  We all have had some relationship to that kind of person.   However, now it seems that there is a group mentality when bullying or persistent harassment starts up.

  Back when i was growing up you had one of two options…ignore that person and stay far away from them or “stand up to them” and work up your courage to go toe to toe.  Remember the childhood phrase that we were all taught…sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you?  That couldn’t be farther from the truth; we all know that words have the power to destroy a person’s self-worth and the value of that person in the eyes of others.

Everyday it seems that we hear about another child/teen/college student that has been bullied or cyber stalked and trash talked about.  Many of those cases either end in a suicide or a violent attack or even in some cases of extreme bullying…a retribution plan of attack on a school with a violent outburst.  Lives are ruined, hearts and minds are damaged; many individuals end up in prison because of bullying.

 A real danger is people who think that bullying is a normal part of growing up…it isn’t and it should not ever be allowed.  Making excuses and telling a victim of such behavior to just ignore it is equal to nullifying their experience with bullying…which in effect tells them that they are powerless to change their circumstance in a positive way.

There is a hopelessness about our young people.   Many of them, in a desperate need to feel something, are self mutilating, becoming promiscuous,  developing eating disorders, or diving into the world of drug/alcohol addictions in reaction to their feelings about themselves and their lack of proper treatment by others.   They have been conditioned to think that nothing is going to change for the better; so they feel angry, bitter, broken and depressed.

 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it doesn’t affect you, your children, your grandchildren, or the children in your church or neighborhood.  It does; and things are getting desperate.  Kids feel threatened, they feel demeaned and they feel powerless…so, many of them will arm themselves and things escalate quickly.   This is good for no one.

Respect for themselves as well as others is important to fight bullying.  Finding mentors for our young people is helpful…getting involved in sports or extra curricular activities that give them an appropriate sense of pride in themselves and their involvement.  Community service that gives them a sense of personal value and connects them to others who recognize their strengths and talents.  Inspiring hope and promise for a future is what kids need.  Instead, we often find that our young people aren’t getting those important messages about themselves.

With all of the new technology, kids are able to be “connected” 24 hours a day to not only their friends; but also, to people who wish them harm.  This connection includes cell phones, cell phone pictures, texts, email, chat lines, websites and forums.   Kids live in the midst of a multi-media blitz in their lives in school and at home.  Pay attention to them closely; watch for any changes in behavior, attitude, relationships and moods.  It could be life and death-for them and anyone who is in their lives, personally and socially.

Don’t think, not my child, not my child’s friend or the kids in my youth group.  I’ve worked with kids most of my adult life; for well over 30 years and things have broken down.  Kids, even good ones have low self esteem, they are depressed, frightened and angry.   Many of them don’t feel loved (even when they are), they don’t feel valued, appreciated or listened to.  They feel trapped and alone or isolated…even when they are surrounded by friends and activities.  It is a recipe for disaster not to recognize the patterns or seeds of destruction.

In truth, it makes you want to build a fortress around them to protect them against those who seek them out to do them harm.  So what can a parent, an educator, a spiritual leader, a friend, or a sibling do to help those caught in the web of persistent bullying/stalking?

First of all, pay attention.  Listen closely, monitor things…set limits of exposure online.  Talk to them and their friends about situations of bullying in their school or social networks.  Document any kind of negative interaction…write it down, talk to the school administration, file a report, alert teachers, bus drivers, neighborhood watches to any kind of bullying or violent situations that may come up.  Create a network of awareness and prevention where you can.  Ask your school to bring in safety experts and relationship experts who are trained in these areas of concern. 

Expect there to be resistence from the powers that be.  Many of them will give lip service to the no tolerance rule of bullying…but never, EVER, let them talk you out of filing official reports or grievances.   Often a school will just expell a student for a short time as a discipline…never following up with corrective action such as counseling or conflict resolution.   Leadership must establish methods of dealing with this type of behavior in a constructive way. 

For the victims of bullying or school violence… it may be helpful to have some self-defense training, some skilled training about paying attention to their surroundings and who is in their direct physical environment; making judgement calls about making decisions about where to go and with whom.   Get restraining orders or personal orders of protection if you feel it is something necessary to the physical and emotional well-being of the victim.     In some cases, change schools or even in extreme cases…it is best to even move or send them to live with a relative temporarily-especially if there is gang involvement.   This is no small thing to overcome and you do not want a victim of bullying/violence to become a prisoner to fear in their everyday life.

Does that sound like an over-reaction?  I can assure you that it is not; don’t believe me?  Watch the news, listen to a mother or a father that has lost a child to school violence or bullying; they would do anything if they could go back and do something different.   Or maybe listen to the child who in reaction to the bullying, who took matters into his/her own hands and tried to retaliate only to end up in prison for years or for life.  That ought to convince you that taking drastic measures to protect your child or your family is a good thing.  You see, persistent bullying often spreads and becomes a contagious thing…affecting other family members or sometimes even others in the neighborhood.   It is serious, but things can be done to improve the situation; get good advice from law enforcement or safety experts on the matter.

Ok, remember that I mentioned that some of you wouldn’t make it this far because you think it doesn’t affect you.  These young people who are traumatized, or trained to protect themselves emotionally by closing off normal pathways of emotion, are going to grow up.  They are going to become doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers and nursing home supervisors, counselors and so on.

If their standards of what is acceptable, in relation to inappropriate levels of behavior have been damaged, are you going to want them caring for your grandchildren in day care, or taking care of one of your loved ones in a hospital or nursing home setting?  If they have learned to accept that kind of treatment in their own life, they surely won’t recognize it as inappropriate behavior in relation to others like yourself.  

Please, love on the youth today build them up and help them to be strong individuals in a healthy way; care for them, listen to them, protect them through legal channels and through school policies.  You won’t regret being proactive in the name of what is right!

       Today, we send our kids to school and don’t know if they are going to be safe; shot, bullied, knifed, or sexually assaulted.  Children can no longer play outdoors without being supervised, even into the teen years because of kidnapping, sexual assaults, or driveby shootings.  Gang activity has become surrogate family for some youths who either can’t avoid getting pulled in or are forced into it by not having a way to get out of it.

         Shopping centers and banks are prone to violence.  Churches have to have guards because of threats of violence or unrest.  Pastors/Priests/Rabbi’s/or other Spiritual Advisors can’t meet with anyone alone for fear of being accused of wrongdoing or out of fear for their safety.  God forbid that they seek the quiet of the church to pray alone or work…because, someone could come in and do them bodily harm.  The sanctity of the church or God’s house is no longer given the respect it deserves as a place of refuge and spiritual nurturing. 

           Driving along the road you can be injured or killed because someone else may have a road rage problem.  Walking to your vehicle from any business can cause you to be kidnapped, mowed over by another vehicle, chased down and raped or beaten.  It is a randomness that can happen to anyone, no matter their training if they happen to be distracted long enough to be vulnerable.

             You can’t get through a year without hearing of someone shooting at vehicles on the highway or dropping items off of an overpass onto unsuspecting travelors.  Office place or work related violence is becoming the norm.  If someone is fired or is not getting along with their co-workers they hatch a plan to kill, maim and destroy.

            Daycares are under attack, children are being killed, tortured or brutalized by the very people who are supposed to love them and protect them…. or by their very own family members.   We have kids killing neighbors, friends…and enemies; young child or elderly, male/female, it does not seem to matter.  They do not care about the well-being of their fellow human beings.  

          Could it be that they have been “desensitized” towards the feelings or safety of others by years of abuse & neglect role modeled in their own families, or on their choice of entertainment-ie: movies, videos, video games, books and magazines?  Some of those entertainments use violence and sexual assault as part of their entertainment.   Do these offenders understand the line between make believe (acting) and real life?  Clearly, I don’t think they do; or if they do, they do not equate their actions with the consequences that are sure to follow!

               Now, as of yesterday…we have our own military personel firing on their own fellow soldiers with the intent to kill, maim and destroy.    Now the analyzers go into action mode trying to understand such an attack…and yes, that is important.  However, I don’t know about you…but, it gets very frustrating to me to hear of any kind of news item of this nature which then turns into a litany of “EXCUSES” for why the event took place.  Whether it was childhood trauma, abuse, or neglect, religious beliefs, terrorism, fear, anxiety, anger issues or control issues, or an inability to connect with others…underneath it all, it doesn’t change the outcome. 

 There has to be common sense used in how we handle these things; otherwise:

            Being raised to be careful will no longer good enough…we will have to raise our children, our teens and instruct our elders to no longer trust, to no longer give the benefit of the doubt about someone’s intentions.  We will have to teach them to be paranoid about being hurt, taken advantage of …of expecting someone to take out their rage from their childhood on the innocent people in their path on the wrong day.  It is a sick way of thinking…but, to survive the violent society that we have allowed the United States of America to become….we will have to always be looking for things to not be right around us.  Don’t just look over your shoulder, don’t just observe the stranger in your neighborhood…you’ll have to watch your neighbor…make sure he or she is “safe” to be around.   This is not a natural way to live our lives!

         Families, communities, schools, businesses, churches and the armed forces have characters from all walks of life.  People with good intentions, good will, and a willingness to treat others with respect, reponsibility, trust, safety and honor are becoming the minority.  Oh there are plenty of good people out there; but, they are starting to feel outnumbered.  We must build people up, encourage them and reward those who do the right things by recognizing them and their deed…simply for the idea that it IS the right thing to do!!!  

          If we don’t get a handle on how we are heading as a society we are going to be living in a war zone…everywhere we go; just like alot of places around the globe.    It is a sad observation of where we have been, where we are now, and where we are on our way to becoming as an American society, in the future, if we don’t attempt to make some p0sitive changes. 

           We usually do something different with our kids and have a fall harvest celebration.  If the weather is decent we will have a campfire and maybe we do something like put up a pinata with a minimum of candy to tickle their fancy; but, not enough to be obscene about how much candy they end up consuming.   It is a good idea to have some games planned and invite their friends.  Be prepared for loud and boisterous fun…but that is ok…they are supposed to be having a good time.

          My  main concern about this time of year  is safety and spiritual well-being.  Some Halloween revelers take things to a level glorifying evil and gore.    I don’t like all of the gore, the frightening costumes, the evil that seems to be celebrated by some.  Most of all, i don’t like how vulnerable the kids are to violence, to kidnapping, or to many of the other dangers that go along with the so called “holiday”.   I think it is a good time to remind parents to keep your kids close…minimize the danger that they are exposed to. 

       When it comes to costumes…make sure that they have some kind of reflective quality so that they can be seen in the low lighting conditions.  Have them carry a lighting device or a glow stick.  Go over reminders of safe street crossings and appropriate approaches to people’s homes and property.  There are some people who do not watch out for little ones crossing streets and sidewalks.  Then there are those who don’t appreciate kids and teens prancing across their lawns “begging for candy”. 

        Every year we hear of parties that have gone wrong and someone is killed or injured in a fight or in a case of over-reaction to a misunderstanding.  We hear about kids who go about doing destructive pranks and then their are the occasional people with emotional/anger/substance abuse issues who react violently.  We hear about teens horsing around and accidents happening where another in the crowd is injured or killed because things get out of control.  There are incidents of bullying or gang activity.  There are rapes…and kidnappings; children become lost or missing in communities; they are at risk for predators at this time of year especially when it is acceptable to be walking the streets with masks on and in disquise.  Large cities often have issues with “devil’s night” fires and looting. These things can be minimized if parents take steps to insure that they know where their kids are and what they are doing…as well as who they are with.

         It is wise to go out with your children if you are going to allow them to go trick or treating.   Don’t let them out of your site.  You really don’t know who to trust and who your child/teen will be meeting up with.  It seems weekly that there are reports of missing and or exploited children…noone wants their child to be one of them.  We have heard too any news stories recently about children who have been violated or murdered to just let them go off and wish them a good time.  Parenting responsibilities don’t end just because your kids may be able to go off with a crowd.  

        Even teens…God bless them can get caught up in situations that either are not in their best interest or that can endanger them.   Your teens probably won’t verbalize their appreciation if you take a protective stance about their activities…however, no one ever promised that parenting would win you any popularity contest, now did they?   Create an alternative environment for them to get together with their friends; but, still be supervised and protected.   Law enforcement officers will appreciate the help because they can’t be everywhere at once.