That being said…even those mother’s have done something to be remembered for, and that is for bringing their children into the world.  At the most basic level…giving life is something to honor; since not every woman who discovers she is pregnant makes the choice to give birth to her child.  If you had a mother who only functioned at a bare minimum, then I hope you had another woman who filled a mother- like role in your life, encouraging, teaching, praising and loving you; someone to step in and protect you.  Acknowledge that person on mother’s day and don’t let the negative emotions in regards to whether a birth mother was mother of the year or not; choose to celebrate love.

I’ve been blessed and I want to take a moment to celebrate love.  A few years ago, we were told that my mother had an enlarged heart.  This was traumatic as my mother was/is one of those women who loved and encouraged her children as we grew up.  She continues to do this.  Now her medical condition has been treated with medication and close monitoring; we are grateful for that.  However, it got me to thinking about mothers who love deeply.

I thought about the changes that happen when a woman is pregnant.  Her emotions change, her mind changes as she makes decisions that she feels are the best for her and her child.  Hopefully, she has a loving and supportive mate to help her as she parents her child…not everyone does.  A pregnant woman’s spirit changes too…she has to think beyond herself and how the life of the child she carries will be influenced by the choices she makes in life.  Finally, her body changes…oh you know the usual: weight gain, swollen ankles, varicose veins…hemorrhoids…headaches and cravings.  The important change I think for a woman who really wants to be a mother, is that her heart enlarges…it makes room for more love than you can imagine a heart to contain.

That love is what builds a life that can withstand problems, challenges, and negativity that is sure to come their way as they live their lives.  That love is what opens the door to the good things in life that are meant to be enjoyed and nurtured.  That love is what keeps the human race continuing.

I think mothers who chose to love and are loved in return should be celebrated.  If you didn’t get that, from the luck of the draw, at the moment of your conception & birth…you can still find it. Everyone wants and needs that kind of love in their life.  Be sensitive towards those who you know have a hard time at this time of year due to abandonment issues, abuse, neglect or due to the death of their mother figure.  Be a role model and encourage those who are sad or lonely or feeling cheated in the mother department.

This world is full of women who have enlarged hearts and are willing to share them.  Find someone to celebrate the good things in your life with.  Whether it be as a sister, a friend, an auntie, a grandma, a daughter…a teacher, a neighbor or a pen pal; a mother’s heart can be found in a multitude of relationships.  Let yourself love and be loved.  Don’t let a broken biological accident of birth scar you into a negative mother’s day.  Find someone who can share an enlarged heart with you…and give & receive the best that life has to offer…a truly wonderful Mother’s Day!

The thing is, death is permanent.  Suicide is a false solution to their problem.   Problems, even problems that seem overwhelming and beyond a person’s ability to see past it…problems come and go.  Life is full of them…big, small, and in-between problems.   There is hope…but they may need help in seeing it and believing in getting beyond what is troubling them.   However, if a person’s coping skills are influenced by depression, abuse, post traumatic stress, neglect or drug/alcohol abuse then, they may mistakenly think that suicide is a way out.

There is no way around it…destruction is close at hand when a person is to the point of thinking about suicide IF they do not seek professional help to deal with whatever is driving them to this point.  Sometimes, an individual is beyond seeking help on their own power; and a family member, friend or acquaintance is forced to intervene by contacting either a health care professional, a member of clergy or spiritual adviser, or the police in some cases to force a person to seek help.  This is not easy and the laws regarding forcing someone to seek help are different in each state.

It is a hard decision to even consider stepping in.  Most of us don’t want to be put in the position of interfering in another person’s personal life.   In fact, most people will err on the side of caution and allow desperate situations to go on too long.  Out of respect for that person’s privacy we might tip toe around the subject hoping not to offend.  I say it is better to possibly offend a person than to lose them to suicide; if you are wrong and they are not suicidal, you can always let them know that you cared enough about them to risk their upset, rather than risk losing them to suicide.

Still, I bring all of this up because recently it seems that there have been a rash of suicides.  Some of them made the news, some of them were in local communities and some of them affected people that I know.  It makes me sad because there is always a high cost when a person takes their own life; it isn’t only the person who dies who suffers either.

Suicide can affect anyone.  Shock is the most obvious reaction when someone takes their life.  The people who knew them will often say…I had no idea that they were thinking about it.  Suicide can be in the mind of your parent, child, spouse, clergy/spiritual leader, teacher, friend, an isolated elder, neighbor, a member of our military personnel…or, just about anyone who is living or breathing.  Just so you know, it doesn’t matter how much money they have, where they live or who they know…suicide can be lurking in the mind of a person who is having a difficult time in their life.

You see, friends, acquaintances, and loved ones of people who commit suicide suffer terribly in their grief.  They chase their thoughts round in round about what they missed, how they could have helped, what could have been done differently, why they still live when the person who died is gone.  Some even need counseling to deal with their emotions for a very long time.  Many even get to the point where they, too, struggle with finding joy in life because they feel guilty for having moments of joy, laughter, successes or celebrations.

The person who has died does not know this.  They no longer are capable of seeing how their death affects people who are left behind.   Even people in their community who barely knew them.  You see, we all have an impact in this life whether you realize how many lives you touch or not…every life has value.

People struggle in life…we can help those at risk of suicide by trying to be aware of what they are going through.  Most of us are not qualified to help someone through severe depression or feelings of ending it all by committing suicide…but, we can all be more aware of the signs of when someone is in trouble.  We can urge someone to seek medical/emotional/spiritual professional help.  We can be encouragers, listeners and friends.  Get the phone numbers and addresses of counselors, organizations and mental health care providers in your area.  In an emergency, call 911 if you feel someone is in danger.  You might not only save their life…but you might save an innocent bystander as well.

There was a tragic story yesterday of a woman who was involved in an alleged domestic situation where there was great emotional turmoil.  Her Aunt called the authorities after the woman called a family member and said they would all have to forgive her because she was about to do something crazy.  Her children’s father was allegedly cheating on her.  This distraught New York woman, allegedly put her four children into her vehicle and drove two minutes from her home off of a ramp into some water…killing herself and three of her children.  Her fourth child, a ten year old, managed to roll down a window and by a miracle got out of the vehicle alive.  Her very young children never had a chance.  It sounds like law enforcement was there within 17 minutes…but, it only took her two to drive into the water.   What horrible consequences to a temporary situation.

In her apparent desperation, this was her solution to the problem of a cheating spouse.  It made sense to her at the time.  To those of us outside of her situation; we can see how desperate and out of control she had to be to endanger not only herself, but her children’s life.  Whether he really was cheating or not, it doesn’t matter (well it does…but, that is between him and God); but, her belief that he was cheating triggered her suicidal and homicidal response.  This is a tragedy all the way around.

There are survivors…not only the ten year old child who will struggle to have a normal life since he survived and his siblings did not…but there are other relatives, the spouse, the neighbors, the children’s school mates, church members, community members and so on.  This kind of thing leaves a big scar.

I want to share with you information about awareness and the prevention of suicide by printing a link to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Organization.

We live in a time of great stress.  We have wars going on, natural disasters, man-made disasters, terrorism, accidents, financial losses and domestic violence…you get the idea.  Update:  Last night the news shared even more devastating news about the New York mom who drove into the Hudson River with her children in the car.  It seems that after she drove in she realized what she had done was a mistake.  Her 10 year old child said, She kept saying “I made a mistake, I made a mistake”.  This is so sad…but it does illustrate my earlier point…the person in distress doesn’t really want to die or in this case cause others to die…they just want the pain to end.

I believe that just being aware of the world around you and noticing where the acceptance of God is lacking and doing your best to be of service in some way; of bringing a light or help to those who are in need, is a ministry itself.  Some have a pull on their hearts to teach, preach, do missions work, or evangelize.  There are others who are drawn to a particular effort of outreach which may be to take Bibles into areas of the world which have little or no access to the word.  Then again, there are those with an online ministry to edify or build up disciples such as the Live Sticky movement which encourages people to spend a portion of their online time being dedicated to bringing awareness of God to those that they impact. These are all ministries that are needed.

A ministry might mean that you take meals to someone who is home-bound, lonely or spending time with someone who is depressed.  It might mean providing comfort and help to those in poverty, a hospital/jail setting; or it could be a position of raising funds for someone to go out and do missions work.   Some of those ministries can be dangerous; but still, God puts a calling on those individuals hearts.

Today in the news there is some sadness which highlights that statement.  In recent days, there have been four Americans held hostage, on a yacht, which were hi-jacked by Somali pirates allegedly.  It basically is a form of human trafficking…to hold humans against their will in the hopes of making money off of them.  There was a military warship that was tailing them and as the shots rang out, the Navy warship took action capturing and killing the pirates.

Today, unfortunately the news says that all four American hostages were murdered by the pirates.  The yacht was owned by Jean and Scott Adam and they had two passengers on board, Phyllis Macay and Bob Riggle.  Jean and Scott often traveled distributing Bibles around the world on their yacht.

They knew the risks of traveling this part of the world where pirates have been wreaking havoc on ships traveling through the area.  Still, they were committed to doing what they loved to do and felt called to do.  This required tremendous courage on their part.  They believed in more than just life here on Earth and it is a terrible loss to those who knew them and loved them.  May God comfort their friends and families during this time of grieving. They sacrificed their lives to do what they felt called to do; many people do not understand that kind of commitment.  It is a love that goes beyond the general human attitude of thinking only about oneself.

Did they want to die…no, I am sure they did not set out with the purpose of loosing their lives.  There are many examples of people who have lost their lives for Christ.  I believe that God has welcomed them home.  They faced this danger knowingly…but it is still a tragedy in human terms.  Spiritually, God will deal with those who took their lives.

There are many parts of the world which are hurting and struggling with war, with natural disasters, with political unrest and with spiritual warfare.  Those areas of the world have people in need; just as there are people suffering and hurting in your own local neighborhoods and countries.  Whether you feel the call to do missions work, teach/preach or evangelize in person or online…know that lives are being affected and changed for the good.

This is important work that you do, wherever God places you to do it. It is important to pray for those who set about doing the work of God…no matter where they do it.  There are forces at work intending to persuade Christians to stand back and let the world take care of itself.  That is not what God asks of us; be about the business of God.  Be an encourager, support ministry in any way that you can.  If it is working with children, in administration, or in actively pursuing those who don’t know Jesus…find a way to be in service.

I have friends and family who are doing amazing things because of their love of God.  There is Friends Like Us who work with children with cancer and their families.  They provide chemo bears to the pediatric patients that they work with…as well as providing gifts for the patients siblings.  They talk with and support parents of those patients.  They often send blankets from another organization called Layers of Love and a book on living with cancer from an author that they work with. Please visit them and support the work that they do.  These are all ministries at work, in my humble opinion, because they show love and help people who are hurting and in need of some sort.  This is just a small sample of people in my circle of influence.

My daughter recently went to Haiti and worked in an orphanage where the love of God is at work trying to improve the lives of those they touch.  I intend to do a series of blog posts soon about some of the work being done there.  Here is a link to the Haiti Foundation Against Poverty through which she felt called to work on a recent missions trip. http://haitipoverty.org/Updates.aspx

I just want to recognize those who are about the business of doing the work of the Lord.  Thank you for the sacrifices of your time, your money, and your efforts. Never forget that the time is short and that God is coming soon.  He alone knows the day and the hour…so when you get weary or feel burdened; remember that the life that you connect to God will have the opportunity to go to Heaven rather than the destination of Hell, a place of eternal suffering. This reason alone is why God gave us his word in John 3:16  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life”.

What type of work do you do for the kingdom of God?  What do you feel called to do or share?  Are you actively involved in some kind of outreach ministry? Have you ever felt in danger while doing your ministry work?  Will you tell us about it here? What do you do for the love of God?

Many of the comments that I overheard were negative and directed at my daughter.  All three girls have dominant personalities but what I was getting a glimpse of was what you would call verbal bullying.  Early the next day we had activities to go to so I wasn’t hearing much but I didn’t like some of what I did hear.   Even more importantly, when negative comments were made regarding my daughter she did not speak up or against what was being said.

When I would hear the tone of voice or the partial conversations that made me go…ummm what was that you said; all I got for clarification was , “oh nothing, never mind”.  That only made me listen closer.

So it was on the drive delivering the girls to their home that I was in a better position to hear clearly a couple of comments that I felt were so outrageous and disrespect or demeaning that I had to address it.  Now, understand…these girls weren’t purposely trying to be cruel.

I feel that they were more unaware of what they were doing…and yet, it had to be talked about.  I expressed to them that friends did not speak that way to one another.  Friendship I said can last a lifetime if the people involved take the time to care for one another, support and encourage one another.   I said that there are enough people in this world ready, willing and able to tear you down, make fun of you, disrespect you and try to make you feel small.  I said that it was unacceptable for them to speak to one another that way.  It had to stop.  That it was unhealthy.

My concern was two fold…one that my daughter’s self-esteem not be damaged by “friends” whose opinions mean a great deal to my daughter and two that her friends understand that this kind of behavior was not only not healthy but would not be tolerated.  Those girls as well as my daughter needed to understand that self esteem and relationships go hand in hand and that they form at a young age how we allow ourselves to be treated in future relationships.

A damaged self esteem sets up individuals for entering into abusive relationships.  An individual who abuses others in a relationship often end up in very unhealthy relationships later in life as well.   I don’t want any of either of those types of relationships for these three young ladies.

People who are involved in dysfunctional relationships are often caught up in depression, drugs/alcohol abuse, violence, pre-marital sex at a young age and even teen pregnancies.  The prison systems are full of abandoned individuals who’ve gotten involved in the wrong things; because they didn’t develop healthy foundations, in their own minds, about who they are and what they deserve in life.  Too often people are told they are no good and they don’t deserve anything but emotional crumbs in their day to day lives; and it isn’t true.  Life is too short to be broken, angry, hurt and miserable.  Everyone has the right to grow up believing that they deserve the best life has to offer.

Today it seems that people just don’t know how to support one another or relate to each other in a positive way.  The world has become very negative and toxic.  Many people only concern themselves with getting their own needs met and often times they do that at the expense of others.  We need to find ways to build people up, support them, encourage them and help them to grow in positive ways.

Parents, teachers, siblings, friends and clergy need to keep tuned into the people involved in relationships with the people that they love.  Listen closely to how they speak to one another, how they treat one another and how they allow others to treat them as well.  Building healthy interactions between those we are in charge over is important.  Do you have any tips to help someone in this type of situation?

There must be an answer to help hurting hearts to understand, that what is happening to cause them pain, isn’t happening because they are a bad person, or for no apparent reason at all.  The mind and the soul just needs to make some kind of sense of it all.  Understanding tragedy is no easy task.  People have differing opinions on why bad things happen.

Some people believe that the tragedy is a punishment from God.  Others believe it is a situation that is meant to teach a life lesson to those left standing.  Others still are of the understanding that bad stuff happens for no reason at all; other than being in the wrong place, at the wrong time.  After all, why does a bad situation happen to good people?  Do Christians suffer more than non-believers?  Do non-believers suffer more than Christians? Does faith play a part in human suffering at all?

It all depends on who you talk to about the idea of suffering and faith.  Everyone has their own opinion based upon their personal experiences.  However, when someone is suffering and searching for answers, it is natural to turn to those who we are closest to for answers.

For a Christian that could be their spiritual leader, a fellow believer, friend or even a family member who is grounded in their faith.  For an unbeliever, the lack of a foundation of faith can still lead to a pathway about God.  I say that, because God will often get the blame for bad circumstances, even when a suffering person doesn’t believe in God.  Often, you will hear people say, IF there is a God, why did he let this terrible thing happen?

I  believe that is because the human soul knows for certain, deep inside that person’s mind, that God not only exists; but, he is the only one who has the answers that they seek.  A person who is committed to an unbelief in God seems to struggle more when dealing with grief or suffering, in my opinion.  I believe that is because to me, God and having a faith in eternity means having hope of moving from this life of challenges and struggles to a place called Heaven.

It is important to recognize that God can handle the unbelief, the anger, and the questions.  But for those seeking answers; it is not just about asking the questions, but more importantly, it is about getting answers.  If you ask and you seem to be going without answers; you must ask yourself the hard question; are you ready to listen, really listen and accept the answer that God has for you?

No one truly can tell you why God does what he does, why he allows the bad things to happen in life?  Only God knows all of the pieces of the puzzle that make up our life circumstances.  He alone can bring peace to your heart and mind about such things.

So how do you communicate with God.  First you must pray, ask him the question that troubles your soul.  Sometimes answers do not come immediately and that can be frustrating.  There are times when you must fast (with a dr’s approval) and pray while waiting.  Read the word of God and allow the scriptures to speak to you, words of wisdom.  Take time to meditate on the word, peacefully & quietly.  Don’t do all of the talking; listen for God’s answer.  There are times when God will use another person to speak to your heart. He will speak to you through the Bible, other people and sometimes through dreams.  He will confirm his answer to you so that you know it is of him and not just another person’s opinion or your own.

Grief at a time of loss can add to a person’s sense of suffering.  It can confuse the heart and mind of a person with anger, disbelief, anxiousness and denial.  Those things can be worked through as long as a person doesn’t get stuck in any one of those phases of grieving.  Grief is a challenging time and everyone copes with grief differently.  That is ok, as long as you ARE coping and moving forward by healing.

Players are standing in long lines to purchase their tickets.  Even the “odds of winning” aren’t a deterrent to the most loyal of players…the 1 in 176 millionth of a chance of winning.  Really?  I wonder how someone convinces themselves that THEY are the one who WILL win the jackpot with those kind of odds.  It really is gambling to spend money in the HOPES of taking the jackpot.

Although, there are those who spend serious money to try to even up the odds of winning to their benefit; by purchasing more than one ticket.  Still, when you stop and think about it…doesn’t it really mean when they lose that they will just take a harder hit than the person to spends the bare minimum to purchase one chance to win?

I don’t play the lottery.  First of all, people with my kind of luck just don’t win these things.  Second of all, you hear about some of the winners of these huge lotteries who turn around and say, within a short period of time, I wish that I would have just torn up that ticket at the very beginning.   That is not a high recommendation for praying for “good luck” when playing the lottery.

Those people have either lost their winnings, had the funds mis-managed, or been hit up with one kind of disaster after another, once they did win.  Not to mention, because of winning the lottery; they were subjected to people coming out of the woodwork trying to get a portion of the money; thereby jeopardizing their relationships with many of the people in their lives and their communities.  One of the winners I remember reading about lost a granddaughter to death, was sued by multiple people; and, seemed to have gained more problems than anyone would ever think possible.   Often criminal, emotional, marital, or legal problems persist for winners of lotteries.   Others become addicted to gambling or other high risk behaviors.  For those who believe that winning will solve all of their problems in life; disappointment and disillusionment become a way of life.

Those issues are not an endorsement for wanting to win, right?

Winners are often told that 25% of the winnings go to the federal government.  Forty one states are in on this particular jackpot…and of course, the states will have their own taxes that must be deducted from the winner’s take.  It is highly recommended for people who are not already well blessed with finances and well versed in the world of high finance to seek out and (pay for) financial counselors, lawyers, accountants and investment bankers to advise them.  (There would go another substantial amount of the winnings).   I’ve always been taught that gambling is wrong…sinful, leads to all kinds of trouble.

It would be just my bad luck; if I violated what I’ve always been taught…I would WIN and suffer unbearably!  

Those are all reasons why I am not buying a ticket.  Even though it is tempting to think that all of a person’s financial problems could be wiped away in one moment…I won’t buy a ticket.  I mean, geez; if you won that kind of money, you would always be worrying about losing it somehow.  If you’ve never had it, you don’t have to worry about losing it, right?   > So, it’s official; I’ve decided that no way am I going to risk winning the Mega Millions Lottery Jackpot this evening.  LoL   How about you, are you going to risk it?

       It seems that times are tough financially, both for the man & the woman, and the ex-wife feels the need to move over 1,000 miles away to the state of Florida where she will live with her family to make ends meet.    They are about to lose their home.  There is not enough money to live on.  So she is making a plan that she feels is a good one.  But her children are young, ages 6 & 9.  I can’t help but wonder, don’t the children need more interaction, than 3 hours a week, with their father…ONLINE?

        Some people would say, well…why doesn’t the father move to Florida as well?  It seems he just had cancer surgery.  And in my opinion, if neither the mother, nor the father, is financially stable…how is it that either of them will find the finances to get set up to communicate digitally if they don’t already have the equipment or the software.  That all costs money. 

         Can a parent meet the emotional needs of their children stictly by being online at the same time?  Is it enough interaction to chat with your children?  Is the Skype program going to replace physical hugs, going places together, putting them to bed at night, joining them in their after-school activities?  Nothing against Skype but, it lacks the physical component of parenting in my opinion.  I can’t imagine a mother or a father thinking that this kind of visitation is “enough” in a long term situation. 

       Are the co-parenting responsibilities and priviledges going to be able to be satisfactory?  Will one parent end up with more of one and less of the other?   Will the children feel abandoned or cheated?  I wonder if there will be enough of an opportunity for natural bonding to be maintained in this type of arrangement.

         Was there NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE than moving so far from the children’s father?  No other affordable place to live in NY?  No other job that would increase the family’s financial situation?  Maybe we weren’t told all of the pertinent information regarding the situation that the family is facing.  Still, I wonder for any parent; father or mother, is digital visitation enough when it comes to parenting your children?   What do you think?

        I think everyone has those kinds of days once in a while.  Wake up and stub your toe right off the bat, or go to make breakfast and everything you reach for to make is either lacking an ingredient or doesn’t turn out.  Gotta go somewhere….well, you probably should have gotten gas last night; because, now that your vehicle is running on empty, they have raised the price of gas by 23 cents a gallon…and guess what?  You need a lot of gallons to get where you are going.  What in the world?  Did they declare it pick on you day and no one gave ya a heads up?

         Have you maybe tried to do something nice for someone and had it misunderstood?  Been accused of misdeed, or wrong doing, and you have just been minding your own business, doing what is supposed to be done?  Had your motives questioned?  Annoyed someone simply by breathing the same air as them; or, have a separate opinion on a particular subject?   Really, I mean come on people…have you thought that you, and another person such as a co-worker, were on the same page about something, only to find out that you couldn’t be more wrong?  Ayi Yi Yi!

         Did you let someone down accidently, or shown up late to something really important?  Have you not been able to give enough to another person and their expectation of you was so high, that you felt bad not meeting their expectation? 

       Don’t even get me started with communication because you might just as well know right now,  that nothing you say to anyone, on this kind of day, will be understood the way that you meant it to be understood.  People will get mad at you, they will have hurt feelings, they will look at you like you are out of your mind and not making a lick of sense, when you try to communicate with them. 

        In fact, you may even have the misfortune of carrying on a conversation with a person or two and be talking about completely different subjects without realizing it until the conversation is nearly over!  That is, if you even connect with them on the phone in the first place; because, no matter how many times you try to contact that certain person…you continue to play phone tag and keep missing one another.   Grrrrr.

          Add up the miscommunications,  irresponsible moments, un-intended power struggles, the time delays, accidents, losses,  bad luck, negative emotions and upset people and you have to wonder; how can you move past a day like this?

       Wow…been there, done that, RECENTLY.  You want to know the really cool thing about one of those, can’t do anything right days?  Here it comes…are you ready for it?  Those days eventually have to end; because the truth of the matter is…there are only 24 hours in a day and you get a do -over tomorrow.   Ahhhh…that is the best news I have had heard all day.  How about you?  Tomorrow is a new day…make it a good one, eh?

       Everyone at one time or another has felt the need for more energy.  People everywhere will indulge in a cup of coffee, tea, soda pop, or candy bar to give their energy level an occasional boost.  There are better ways to gain energy such as proper diet, rest, and exercise; but, we are all guilty of taking short cuts, at one time or another.  

          Kids need energy just like adults; but, between poor role models and a sedentary lifestyle that many young people have grown accustomed to; they are even more easily persuaded to get their energy out of a can.  Many marketing images are over the top and come across as radical, or illegal with the names of the products; which can be enticing to a teen who is open to the idea of coming across as rebellious.   Some who are easily influenced are vulnerable to the idea of an easy fix for low energy reserves.   A whole new thriving industry has emerged centered around these energy drinks, and their counter parts; anti-energy drinks, for those times when too much energy is a problem>insert sarcasm here! 

         There are several problems that I see when it comes to marketing these products to teens and children.  Adults should take care to monitor their own use of such products; because your kids will pattern their behavior after the adults in their lives.  The problem is, that kids don’t always have the maturity, or the knowledge, that they need to make wise choices in this area of life.  Creative advertising for these energy drink products has made these products sound not only benign; but, good for you.

          However, not all of these products have the same ingredients as one of their competitors products; nor do they have the same effects, on every person’s body.   There are some good products out there and some not so good products.   The idea behind energy drinks is to increase the energy level of the consumer.  This is done through a variety of ingredients; the main ones being caffeine and some form of sugar.  The levels of those two main ingredients varies from brand to brand…and, it is important to read the labels and compare the results.   You can’t assume that just because they are on the market for purchase that they are all safe to use for every person; because that may not be the case.

        The much sought after goal of gaining more energy is underscored by many consumers who believe that higher levels of caffeine is good.  In fact, it can be rather harmful.  Adding too much caffeine to a person’s body can raise blood pressure levels, put stress on the heart and it’s ability to regulate it’s rhythm; as well as other organs.  They can cause headaches and nausea.  The long term effects of this roller coaster ride can be very harmful to the body. 

        There is a huge dependence on these energy drinks in the daily diet, by many teens and preteens.  Parents may or may not be aware of their child’s use of these drinks.  It is critical that parents are made aware of the physical, social, and even the mood- altering impact, on their children, of the energy drinks; and, even the so called anti-energy drinks.  Side effects from some of the ingredients can be made worse if there are extra strains on the body such as extreme physical exertion from participating in a sport or an underlying health complication.

          Many young people are taking prescription medications for various conditions such as ADHD, ADD, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders, Autism, Depression and many other chronic medical conditions.  Mixing these drinks and the ingredients they contain with legal, and or illegal substances can harm, or even cause death for some individuals with underlying health conditions. 

          Only a doctor or pharmacist can determine whether any specific individual can safely consume these products along with the medications they are taking.  However, I don’t think that message gets communicated properly to the consumer.  Talk to your family doctor; discuss the issue with your kid’s school nurse and make sure that they are aware of  the effects of energy drinks on the health of minor’s bodies which are growing and changing at a rapid rate.

          Advertising for many of these drinks can appear to promote health because one or two of their ingredients may have positive health benefits like vitamins, minerals, or herbs.  Again, some of those ingredients can be harmful…some herbs can have stimulant or depressant properties.    Wisdom demands that you be aware of mixing any kind of substance that has the power to affect how the body operates or functions.  Care must be taken because you could be, in effect…mixing medications by drinking these drinks along with taking legal, prescription medications.   The average person or teen may not be aware that drinking  these drinks can cause a harmful interaction.

           The availability of these drinks is as easy as the nearest vending machine, convience store/gas station or grocery store.  They can be a bit pricey, generally around $3.00 a piece.   The products often appear as a can of soda in an aluminum container…sometimes they are bottled in glass.  Do you know if your child has had access to these drinks today? 

            Adults use these products as well.  However, if you are going to purchase these drinks for your teen or preteen; or, allow them to be used by your children; at least teach them to read the labels.  Teach them to understand that the numbers are often doctored by dividing the calories, sugar levels, caffiene numbers according to servings; not by listing the total amounts in the can.  The consumer has to understand that there may be MORE than one serving per can.  This makes all the difference in how the person’s body handles the drink; consuming a serving or the whole container in one sitting can be the difference between a positive or a negative after effect.

         Whether the consumer is an adult, or teen, or pre-teen; it is a good idea to communicate that too much caffeine (whether it be in coffee, tea, soda, hot chocolate energy drinks) can dehydrate the body and damage the kidneys, heart, or other organs.   Encourage them to drink plain old water to re-hydrate the body when they drink these kinds of energy or anti-energy drinks.

           As a side note, please be aware that some of the anti- energy drinks can have just as damaging effects on the body.  They are just like they sound….the opposite of energy drinks.  They have substances such as herbs and hormones in them that produce a slowing down of energy levels.  Some of them even add melatonin, a hormone that is naturally produced in the brain to promote sleep.   However, when this hormone is added into these anti-energy drinks it is not being naturally produced.  How much is too much for your or your loved one?

          Some users of these anti-energy drinks are using them to self -medicate either physical or emotional conditions.  If a person struggles with mental illness, depression or any other type of mood disorder…could these drinks cause them to experience mood swings of a harmful nature?  It would makes sense to me that it could.    There are also conflicting reports on the internet about these drinks ability to produce a positive result on drug tests.   For those individuals who are on probation or under a courts jurisdiction, this could impact them legally as well, if it is true that the drinks can affect a drug tests results. 

          I have even read that there are people who combine these drinks with alcohol.  Whenever people start using substances to alter their physical or emotional state of being you have to be careful.  These can become not only physically; but, psychologically addicting.  Teens who are wanting to “escape” painful emotional or physical situations can find themselves on a roller coaster of dependence…affecting not only their health; but, their relationships with their parents and their peers.  If they already struggle with addictive behaviors or choices…using these drinks to self-medicate can cause additional problems.

       Parents, many of you will not even be aware of this culture with your teens or their circle of influence…but, teens using these drinks is common.  If you purchase these energy drinks, or anti-energy drinks for your home…at least control how often these products are used.  But also be aware, they may be consuming them when you are not around to monitor their actions. 

        In my opinion, it is better to prohibit the use of these drinks altogether.  I don’t see the potential benefits outweighing the risks, to the health and well-being of the person drinking them.   However, if you are going to allow it…at least educate yourself about your child’s views on these drinks and how they and their friends see these products in their daily lives.  You may be shocked at what you hear.  Many young people see them as non-harmful; and use them as commonly as they drink soda pop.  Do some research for yourself.  What are your thoughts on this subject?

When a young person, no matter how troubled, crosses your path and you have the chance to positively impact their life…take it from me..you need to be bold, by doing or saying what needs to be said or done.  What you think may annoy them or offend is not as important as avoiding a potential event if that person has time to think through the things that they are doing with their life.

Not so long ago, such an opportunity came and went.  Several of us tried to touch the lives of the young men who momentarily passed through our youth group.  They had varying degrees of response to the spiritual teachings and to the adults trying to make a connection with them.  One young man was a rubber ball; oh he came back a few times…but he wasn’t there for spiritual guidance.  He appeared to be there for social reasons. 

That isn’t terribly unusual.  What is unusual is that there seemed to be little to no positive impact on his life; his heart was not about to let anyone in deep enough to touch him spiritually or emotionally.  Everything was funny to him or made him angry.  He did not respect authority nor did he appear to have a good relationship with any of the other teens in attendance, even though he went to school with them.

In fact, he seemed to flaunt his defiance and rebellion.   He instilled fear in some of the kids because of his actions and his attitude.  He threatened some, he disobeyed requests to respect bare minimum requests for appropriate behavior.  Mostly, he just put in a couple of  appearances and left the place “untouched or unchanged”.

One of the other two that came was a bit older.   This young man knew scripture and could quote it.  I had no knowledge of this person before he came to visit, the one and only time that he came to the youth group.  However, others knew of him.  He freely admitted that he was not living right (even though his family had taught him about God and living according to his guidelines).  This made me sad; yet, I was hopeful because he seemed to have a foot on both sides of the fence.  He was young, intelligent and had the capability of making the right choice.

Do not be fooled…people can’t live that way indefinitely; eventually, you must get off of the fence and make a choice on how you conduct yourself in life.   It comes down to a choice of living in a Godly way or choosing to do whatever you want regardless of the consequences.   Of course the news story has not yet been tried in court; so we do not know if what is being charged to these young people, is in fact what happened beyond a shadow of a doubt.   However, these young men that visited our youth group are now being charged with a murder.

Initially, as I said the younger man was totally defiant and the first one seemed to be trying to choose which way he was going to go.  I had hoped that he would choose the correct path.  His family I am sure was praying for the same outcome.  They both had been in trouble with the law before and were on probation, they said.  Drugs & alcohol appeared to be a part of the problem.  The older one seemed to be trying to come to terms with how he was going to go forward while on probation; while the other was mocking the system and made light of all of the wrongs they had done previously.  That never bodes well for anyone…to have an experience that is meant to teach us a lesson and to laugh in the face of it. 

While I know that everyone make mistakes; some people turn their lives around and others do not.  What makes the difference???  I don’t know, I wish that I did.   Many lives could be kept from making tragic mistakes that have huge and horrific consequences, if only someone had the answer to that question.

We always tell our teens that God is there; and he is.  He knocks and waits for a person to answer the door.  He patiently and lovingly keeps an eye on you and keeps trying to call your name so that your life is one of purpose and value.  One that is full of promise and hope.  He forgives mistakes and he wants for you to turn to him before life gets out of control; as long as the person truly is sorry for their mistakes and makes an effort to learn from it, when they ask God to forgive he does.  

Even when we make mistakes God never leaves us; he will be there when we need to pick up the tattered remains of our lives.  It is not too late for these young men (or anyone) to ask God to be the ruler of their lives.  It won’t undo the loss of  life, if they were indeed responsible for this person’s death.  However, God can make good come from any evil act or darkness in a person’s life.

Still, let’s not forget that justice will be served.  Forgiveness does not entitle anyone to be exempt from punishment.  There are c0nsequences to our actions…both good and bad.  It is hard to hear but it is a fact of life.

A life was lost and it cannot be returned.   That person’s family and friends will want justice…some will even want revenge.  Things do not have to be this way, a person’s future if you are convicted, is not one of freedom of choice.  It seems such a waste to have a whole life before you, only to throw it away; and for what reason?  A party, a moment of rebellion, a reckless decision, a fleeting moment of pleasure?  A choice that sometimes has a high price for the decision maker; care must be taken not to make choices that will waste the time we have here with our friends and family. 

 The victim had friends and family too, and they will be grieving.   Young men did you take this person’s life?  I don’t know.  But still i wonder, why didn’t you hear him when God called your name?  Or if you heard him, why didn’t you respond in a way that allowed God to be present in your daily life?  If you did, then the murder victim would still be alive, your family would not be facing a life without you in it on a daily basis, you would not be sitting in prison, when instead, you could be having a life full of all of the good things that God intended for you.

Why was your rebellion (of choosing drugs and violence) so much more important than choosing a life of right?  Why is it that the things God meant for you to hear fell away from you like water off of a ducks back?  Having rules and guidelines in life helps keep us accountable and out of situations that can destroy us.  Having parents, teachers, law enforcement, bus drivers etc who give you boundaries to follow aren’t doing it to make your life miserable; in fact, it is just the opposite, they care enough to tell you when you have crossed a line of inappropriate behavior, to help you do what is right.  It really is for your own good and the good of others.

Even though you were not a part of our youth group, on a permanent basis, I grieve that you have been accused of this murder.  I am sad that it is even a possibility that it could be true.  I am heartbroken for the victim’s friends and family.  I am horrified that the victim died a needless death full of pain, only to be discarded like something left behind that had no value.

Our world is becoming too full of these kinds of stories.   Stories filled with a lack of respect for others, violence, lack of accountability, a sense of entitlement, drugs/alcohol, low self-esteem, death, rape, anger, loneliness, sadness, abuse, lack of education, jail/prison, isolation, and so many other negative things that are harmful to our society.  There are too many lives that are destroyed by those who can’t or won’t respect authority and the rules of society; at home, in school, at church, on the streets or in any other environment.  There are too many innocent people who have to suffer from the negative choices that others make.   If we all tried to follow the rules that God set before us then there would be so much less suffering in the world.

My heart wonders if you have had time yet to wish that you had heard God when he called your name.  How many others will find themselves in situations of their own making because they have chosen to rebel and ignore the concerns of their loved ones?  How can we keep those we care about from making choices that harm themselves or others when they are living outside of God’s protection?  What can we learn from these horrible stories?