The thing is, death is permanent.  Suicide is a false solution to their problem.   Problems, even problems that seem overwhelming and beyond a person’s ability to see past it…problems come and go.  Life is full of them…big, small, and in-between problems.   There is hope…but they may need help in seeing it and believing in getting beyond what is troubling them.   However, if a person’s coping skills are influenced by depression, abuse, post traumatic stress, neglect or drug/alcohol abuse then, they may mistakenly think that suicide is a way out.

There is no way around it…destruction is close at hand when a person is to the point of thinking about suicide IF they do not seek professional help to deal with whatever is driving them to this point.  Sometimes, an individual is beyond seeking help on their own power; and a family member, friend or acquaintance is forced to intervene by contacting either a health care professional, a member of clergy or spiritual adviser, or the police in some cases to force a person to seek help.  This is not easy and the laws regarding forcing someone to seek help are different in each state.

It is a hard decision to even consider stepping in.  Most of us don’t want to be put in the position of interfering in another person’s personal life.   In fact, most people will err on the side of caution and allow desperate situations to go on too long.  Out of respect for that person’s privacy we might tip toe around the subject hoping not to offend.  I say it is better to possibly offend a person than to lose them to suicide; if you are wrong and they are not suicidal, you can always let them know that you cared enough about them to risk their upset, rather than risk losing them to suicide.

Still, I bring all of this up because recently it seems that there have been a rash of suicides.  Some of them made the news, some of them were in local communities and some of them affected people that I know.  It makes me sad because there is always a high cost when a person takes their own life; it isn’t only the person who dies who suffers either.

Suicide can affect anyone.  Shock is the most obvious reaction when someone takes their life.  The people who knew them will often say…I had no idea that they were thinking about it.  Suicide can be in the mind of your parent, child, spouse, clergy/spiritual leader, teacher, friend, an isolated elder, neighbor, a member of our military personnel…or, just about anyone who is living or breathing.  Just so you know, it doesn’t matter how much money they have, where they live or who they know…suicide can be lurking in the mind of a person who is having a difficult time in their life.

You see, friends, acquaintances, and loved ones of people who commit suicide suffer terribly in their grief.  They chase their thoughts round in round about what they missed, how they could have helped, what could have been done differently, why they still live when the person who died is gone.  Some even need counseling to deal with their emotions for a very long time.  Many even get to the point where they, too, struggle with finding joy in life because they feel guilty for having moments of joy, laughter, successes or celebrations.

The person who has died does not know this.  They no longer are capable of seeing how their death affects people who are left behind.   Even people in their community who barely knew them.  You see, we all have an impact in this life whether you realize how many lives you touch or not…every life has value.

People struggle in life…we can help those at risk of suicide by trying to be aware of what they are going through.  Most of us are not qualified to help someone through severe depression or feelings of ending it all by committing suicide…but, we can all be more aware of the signs of when someone is in trouble.  We can urge someone to seek medical/emotional/spiritual professional help.  We can be encouragers, listeners and friends.  Get the phone numbers and addresses of counselors, organizations and mental health care providers in your area.  In an emergency, call 911 if you feel someone is in danger.  You might not only save their life…but you might save an innocent bystander as well.

There was a tragic story yesterday of a woman who was involved in an alleged domestic situation where there was great emotional turmoil.  Her Aunt called the authorities after the woman called a family member and said they would all have to forgive her because she was about to do something crazy.  Her children’s father was allegedly cheating on her.  This distraught New York woman, allegedly put her four children into her vehicle and drove two minutes from her home off of a ramp into some water…killing herself and three of her children.  Her fourth child, a ten year old, managed to roll down a window and by a miracle got out of the vehicle alive.  Her very young children never had a chance.  It sounds like law enforcement was there within 17 minutes…but, it only took her two to drive into the water.   What horrible consequences to a temporary situation.

In her apparent desperation, this was her solution to the problem of a cheating spouse.  It made sense to her at the time.  To those of us outside of her situation; we can see how desperate and out of control she had to be to endanger not only herself, but her children’s life.  Whether he really was cheating or not, it doesn’t matter (well it does…but, that is between him and God); but, her belief that he was cheating triggered her suicidal and homicidal response.  This is a tragedy all the way around.

There are survivors…not only the ten year old child who will struggle to have a normal life since he survived and his siblings did not…but there are other relatives, the spouse, the neighbors, the children’s school mates, church members, community members and so on.  This kind of thing leaves a big scar.

I want to share with you information about awareness and the prevention of suicide by printing a link to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Organization.

We live in a time of great stress.  We have wars going on, natural disasters, man-made disasters, terrorism, accidents, financial losses and domestic violence…you get the idea.  Update:  Last night the news shared even more devastating news about the New York mom who drove into the Hudson River with her children in the car.  It seems that after she drove in she realized what she had done was a mistake.  Her 10 year old child said, She kept saying “I made a mistake, I made a mistake”.  This is so sad…but it does illustrate my earlier point…the person in distress doesn’t really want to die or in this case cause others to die…they just want the pain to end.

It seems that two of the children were delivered safely enough by a C-section; but, when the third child was delivered, the Dr. accidently nicked the uterus causing extreme blood loss and her brain was shortchanged of oxygen for a period of time.  She was paralyzed and can’t eat, talk or speak.  Her ex-husband thinks that the children visiting with their mother could be traumatized.  They have only allegedly spent 1 visit with their mother since they were born, from the sounds of it and they will be 5 years old this summer.

Apparently the husband divorced his wife approximately a year after the birth of the triplets.  He is under the impression that she is unaware of her environment.  Therefore, he didn’t believe she would be able to improve so he divorced her and has been raising the children on his own in California.

The grandparents on the mother’s side, who are caregiving, filed for the children’s mother to have a right to visit with her children.  The father has fought it…and now a judge decides.

In my heart, I started to wonder…how does a person who took marriage vows to love, honor, obey; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health, for better or for worse…how do they then, get to a place where they not only leave the person; but, deny them a right to visit their children that they presumably created together in love?

That is not to say that I don’t understand that the mother’s physical & medical needs weren’t overwhelming at the time of the children’s birth but; still…how do you walk away from the person that you committed yourself to?  I understand that raising triplets and working at the same time is demanding.  It leaves a lot of questions about where exactly a person’s obligations lay.

Do people really understand what those vows mean when they speak them?  What happens if life’s circumstance really do turn out worse than better once you have spoken your vows?  Did or does the husband have a moral obligation to honor his vows?  The judge will decide if he must legally allow visits…but, I am curious about what others think on an emotional level.

At the very least, shouldn’t he allow his ex-wife to see their children?  After all, the young woman who went to that hospital that day to give birth to their three children.  I am sure she had every expectation that their lives were about to change for the better.  They were going to be parents…a family who lived and loved together.  Things did not turn out that way at all…and it begs a person to wonder…when things turn out worse than for the better in a marriage…can the spouses have any level of expectation from the one who professes to love them enough to marry them?  What are your thoughts?

That show, called Two and a Half Men, has stopped production on their show for the rest of the season; since Charlie has made a public statement on interviews that disparages the producers of the show, television show creator Chuck Lorre, Alcoholic Anonymous, his ex wife, and women in general.   He says horribly vile things about Chuck Lorre and shows nothing but contempt for women, in my opinion, when he says things about women such as he has fame and those women have nothing and that all they will ever have is that night with him and that he will forget about them as soon as they leave.  He says that he is “special” and will never be one of the AA because they are a “bootleg cult”.  Seriously? 

It comes across through many of these examples that he considers himself above everyone else.  He believes that he alone cured his (in his opinion) so called disease with his own mind.  He has made recent statements to the fact that he is in control of his partying.   The truth of the matter is that he couldn’t be more wrong.  He has been in legal trouble for alleged domestic violence, he has had custody issues with his ex-wife who does try to support him in public while at the same time  tries to shield their daughters from the horror of these out of control antics that are harming him physically, emotionally, spiritually,professionally, and financially. His young sons with his second wife are very young…but they will grow up with the legacy of their father’s public displays as well.

People who work with individuals who struggle with addictions will give you all of the facts on how addicts fool themselves into thinking that they are “in control” and the rest of the world is the one with a problem.  Charlie may not live on the streets, he might not be homeless, he might not be stealing to support his habits…but he is in denial about his lifestyle choices and the effect that it is having on those who care about him (meaning his friends and family).

He has children that are growing up; and they are now, and will continue to be affected by his behavior and the choices that he makes.  He has a famous brother Emilio Estevez and then of course, there is his father Martin Sheen they have stepped up and said they continue to love him, support him and pray for him.  He has ex-wives who love him enough to try to work through their issues to maintain some sort of relationship for their children. Who can help an adult who is in a situation such as this? Can he be forced to get help through an emergency order? Is he having some sort of emotional breakdown or is he just acting out because of the damage caused by his partying?  He appears to feel all powerful and that no one has the right to tell him no, or draw a line in the sand regarding his conduct.   He has fans that he asks to support him; even though he is acting in ways that are hard to support.  He wants them to help him fight against the injustice of it all…saying that his fans are his people…not “theirs”.

In response, to the decision of his show stopping production, he slams the powers that be for stopping it…saying that they are keeping money from him, his family, and the crew of the show.   In my opinion however, if they continued to produce the show they would be irresponsible…enablers of a man who seems to be bent on self-destruction.  A week or two ago, there were articles that claimed that Charlie said that he only partied when he was bored and not working.  When he was working, he says, he was fine.   There are consequences to behaviors…and recent pictures of him show him possibly having had his teeth affected by his conduct.

Relationships suffer, professional connections become damaged and finances can become scarce because of a persons addictions.  In his case, this doesn’t just affect Charlie…he has a whole crew that is going to suffer consequences because of this situation.   A professional intervention needs to happen, because even though he says he is clean…that doesn’t mean he is stable.   I say, if he isn’t careful to get medical help, put his rehab knowledge and education to heart, and live addiction free…he is going to be bored to DEATH; and, we will be reading Charlie’s very sad obituary.

That would be a terrible waste of life; how much better to see him find his way to health and wellness and use his experience to help others in the same situation?  People who do not have fame, fortune or money deal with addictions too and the consequences are no less severe for them or their loved ones.

What are your thoughts? Do you love someone who struggles with addictions?  What have you done to survive the ups and downs?  Where did you find help?

Players are standing in long lines to purchase their tickets.  Even the “odds of winning” aren’t a deterrent to the most loyal of players…the 1 in 176 millionth of a chance of winning.  Really?  I wonder how someone convinces themselves that THEY are the one who WILL win the jackpot with those kind of odds.  It really is gambling to spend money in the HOPES of taking the jackpot.

Although, there are those who spend serious money to try to even up the odds of winning to their benefit; by purchasing more than one ticket.  Still, when you stop and think about it…doesn’t it really mean when they lose that they will just take a harder hit than the person to spends the bare minimum to purchase one chance to win?

I don’t play the lottery.  First of all, people with my kind of luck just don’t win these things.  Second of all, you hear about some of the winners of these huge lotteries who turn around and say, within a short period of time, I wish that I would have just torn up that ticket at the very beginning.   That is not a high recommendation for praying for “good luck” when playing the lottery.

Those people have either lost their winnings, had the funds mis-managed, or been hit up with one kind of disaster after another, once they did win.  Not to mention, because of winning the lottery; they were subjected to people coming out of the woodwork trying to get a portion of the money; thereby jeopardizing their relationships with many of the people in their lives and their communities.  One of the winners I remember reading about lost a granddaughter to death, was sued by multiple people; and, seemed to have gained more problems than anyone would ever think possible.   Often criminal, emotional, marital, or legal problems persist for winners of lotteries.   Others become addicted to gambling or other high risk behaviors.  For those who believe that winning will solve all of their problems in life; disappointment and disillusionment become a way of life.

Those issues are not an endorsement for wanting to win, right?

Winners are often told that 25% of the winnings go to the federal government.  Forty one states are in on this particular jackpot…and of course, the states will have their own taxes that must be deducted from the winner’s take.  It is highly recommended for people who are not already well blessed with finances and well versed in the world of high finance to seek out and (pay for) financial counselors, lawyers, accountants and investment bankers to advise them.  (There would go another substantial amount of the winnings).   I’ve always been taught that gambling is wrong…sinful, leads to all kinds of trouble.

It would be just my bad luck; if I violated what I’ve always been taught…I would WIN and suffer unbearably!  

Those are all reasons why I am not buying a ticket.  Even though it is tempting to think that all of a person’s financial problems could be wiped away in one moment…I won’t buy a ticket.  I mean, geez; if you won that kind of money, you would always be worrying about losing it somehow.  If you’ve never had it, you don’t have to worry about losing it, right?   > So, it’s official; I’ve decided that no way am I going to risk winning the Mega Millions Lottery Jackpot this evening.  LoL   How about you, are you going to risk it?

Allegedly there are even more sound bites from these audio recordings that have equally disturbing comments from Mel Gibson. In the past, he has been accused by some as having made disturbing comments about Jews when he was arrested.  It was said in reference to those statements, that he was under the influence.  Others would argue that what is in the heart bubbles to the surface when that person’s inhibitions are loosened up from drugs/alcohol.

This past year has seen Mr. Gibson separate from his wife of 30 years, Robyn only to publically engage in his relationship with Ms. Oksana Grigorieva.   They had a female child, Lucia, together and it is alleged by Oksana that Mel Gibson physically assaulted her by hitting her in the face, while she was holding their daughter, causing physical harm to Oksana; as well as threatening to burn down her residence. 

 Mel is now being investigated for domestic violence by law enforcement.  A tallent agency has stopped representing him in the last week as well after Mel supposedly made disparaging remarks about hispanics whom he allegedly called “wetbacks”.  His personal reputation is going through some rapid changes.   He has been a successful actor in the box office for years earning kudos from the entertainment world and from fans alike. 

These audio tapes, if proven to be his voice, are not going to help Mel Gibson dispell the impression that he is guilty of domestic violence when the tone of voice, that is alleged to be him, states the Oksana looks like a whore, has fake breasts and that she dresses in a provocative way; the male voice goes on to say that if she is attacked and raped by a pack of (N-word insulting name for African Americans) then she DESERVES that. 

No-one deserves to be raped EVER by ANYONE; and I think, if he did make those statesment that it will be hard to regain any semblance of respect from people who believe as I do that it is wrong to say such things as well as to believe it.   Also, the voice on the tape seems to dismiss Oksana by saying things such as I do not trust you, I don’t love you and I don’t want you; these are meant to tear down and diminish the context of their relationship.  It was a relationship that would not be condoned by the church because it was outside of a marriage situation; still, he chose to indulge in a relationship with her so to talk in such a way about her is insulting on many levels.   Whoa, talk about offensive!

I mean, obviously she was a good enough woman to have sex with; as evidenced by the birth of their child.  He was attracted to her enough for that.   He stepped outside of his marriage to have the relationship with Oksana.   Yet, in the same vein, she is a whore; beneath contempt evidenced by his alleged words.   These are the mixed up thoughts of a man who has not come to the understanding of the wholeness of an intimate relationship.  I mean, you can’t have sex with a person outside of marriage and condem them without also condeming yourself.  If she is a whore…then what makes him any different than her?  Is this self hate that he is directing at her because he can’t sort it out in his own head?  You have to wonder if his relationship with Oksana is the only illicit relationship that he has indulged in; maybe guilt is eating him alive.

How do you go from being in a marriage of over 30 years; to starting a new relationship with a woman who is not your wife, while still married and with whom you create a child; and then espouse your intense dislike and disrespect for that same person in such a way as to try to demean them as a person and as a woman.   Inflicting alleged verbal, emotional and physical abuse upon them for the very acts that you willingly engaged in; when you yourself are a willing participant in the relationship, is a difficult concept for people to understand.  If one is at fault, then both is at fault in the eyes of God, unless it is a forced sexual contact.

Emotions are very convoluted…mixed up with lust, anger, resentment, sadness and loathing not to mention guilt and embarassment.   The conscious is a complicated thing; when people go against their own moral or religious values to give in to sin or temptation…the spirit rebels.  Words and actions start to conflict with one another and it causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships.   The conscious is inside each of us to keep us from wrongdoing…it is a tool.  When we disregard the very core of our beings and choose to step outside of what we believe is right/wrong we end up punishing ourselves and others in ways that we don’t understand.

This is one loaded audio recording: if indeed Mr. Gibson said, let alone thought any of these things.   Then, it is indicative of a man eaten alive by a corrosive hate for not only those who are different from him by race or by being born female, as well.  Let’s remember, Oksana is the MOTHER of his child as much as Robyn is; although Robyn had every moral and legal right as his wife to have the fullness of marriage by having intimate relations with him and giving birth to his children.   Eventually Mel and Oksana’s young daughter Lucia will grow up and read of his rantings and judgements.   On the other side of things, Mel already has children, from his marriage, old enough to read and understand his words and deeds.   These kinds of words and actions are destructive to family relationships.   What must Robyn or his adult children think of his behavior…his thoughts, his words and his mindset?   Mel is still their father but they too must be trying to sort out this confusing circumstances.

Mel appears to be a man of conflicting images.  He is on one hand professionally praised by other actors and actresses and co-workers.  But, don’t you have to wonder how they feel, hearing of his feelings about women, race relations and appearances?  He was known for years as a family man to the public.   He was known for his Catholic beliefs.   He was a benefactor for children and agencies that helped them.  Yet, in the last few years he has had issues that have festered to the surface in public and in private.  Who is the real Mel Gibson?

It is just my observation but, Mel comes across to me as a man who is embroiled in inner conflicts that he does not know how to resolve.  A husband, father, family man/a man who was allegedly involved in a romantic relationship outside of his marriage vows, a good Catholic/yet a man who openly hates Jews (Jesus was a Jew), An actor and director who works with women in the entertainment industry who often dress provocatively for movie roles and for publicity; and, people of all skin colors and various religious beliefs, both behind the scenes and in film roles on the screen. 

People who are tormented with hatred of others, simply because of their own intolerence for people who are different from them, are the most miserable people.  Their intense dislike of others is caustic and hard to rally support for except from like-minded people who are also filled with judgement and hatred.  Usually there is also a large supply of self- hatred underneath it all which is masked by self-medicating behavior with drugs, alcohol, cutting or self maiming physical behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, or promiscuity; all of which are self destructive.  

What is needed is a healing of the physical, emotional and spiritual person.  Someone who fills up on hate or self destructive behaviors is someone who is trying to fill up empty spots or voids in their lives.  They don’t know how to heal and often will need professional help; such as legal intervention, sometimes medical help such as medication, psychological evaluations and treatment, and spiritual guidance which focuses on positive guidelines for building up an attitude of love, encouragement and peace.  Someone who has been indoctrinated since childhood with hate may require long term intervention before they are able to accept not only themselves but others on an equal footing or at least in an unconfrontational way of life.

A person’s legacy is a very important thing.  It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or not;  we alone determine the kind of legacy that we leave this earth with; by our thoughts, our actions, and by the way we make others feel.    We live such a short time on this earth so why spend it in turmoil, unhappiness, anger and violence.  Life is so much more rewarding when people find ways to live in peace, harmony, and love.  If you or someone you know is imploding from hatred in their heart and mind…please find help before you destroy yourself or others.

      This is not ok.  The reason that it is not ok is because our country is increasingly finding out that our kids are in trouble.  They often have relationship issues, drug/alcohol abuse issues, eating disorders, trust issues and more.   Many of their role models have not been good ones; and finding good leadership for them to learn from is difficult.  Teen years are challenging at best when it is natural for them to try to discover who they are and what freedoms they can enjoy.

       They are in trouble in school, at home, out with their friends, in trouble with the law, they are isolated, angry, hurt, sad, frustrated, fearful and many are finding it hard to trust anyone or anything to be there for them.  Yet at the same time, there is resistence or open rebellion when it comes to accepting advice or rules meant to help them, keep them safe and meant to guide or direct them.  This not only creates difficulty in having a healthy, loving and respectful relationship between parent and child it also puts the child/teen at risk of being influenced by others who have no real vested interest in making sure that the child/teen is happy, healthy, productive and well-balanced in their life.

       One of the situations that came to my attention was a situation in which a school in the US runs a health clinic.  At the beginning of the year, a parent signed a consent form allowing the child/teen to go to the clinic if the need arose for treatment.  This would have allowed that student to receive care for a headache, a physical, birth control, and a multi-tude of other services.  One of those other services appears to be pregnancy counseling and get this…the facilatation of setting up and transporting the student off school grounds to receive an abortion-without informing or getting the consent of the legal parent of said student.   This did in fact happen, a student was put in a taxi from my understanding of the news report and sent off to receive an abortion.  Evidently by signing that generic consent form this “allowed” the high school student to receive such services.   This is outrageous; it is not like that student had a hangnail removed…this student made a life altering decision; one that will impact her physically, spiritually and emotionally…without parental involvement.

       That is or should be unacceptable to most families.  It is as if the school assumed a superior level of authority over the parents in an area of life that should have been left up to the student, her parents, the student’s boyfriend and his parents and if they could not handle the situation then, and only then, maybe the court system.  

        Parental rights and parental authority are under attack in this country.  We see it at every level of society from commercials on television and radio, to the internet, to entertainment such as music videos, movies, and television shows…the parents are made out to be interferring, control freaks, laughable buffoons to be made fun of, and if at all necessary someone to distance themselves from.   Yet when kids get out of control behaviorally, emotionally or physically…many other venues from the schools, to law enforcement to businesses want the parents to “handle or correct” the situation with their children/teens.   You can’t expect parents to be an authority figure to their kids if you are putting down, reducing the effects of parental authority/control, or are in some way ridiculing parental involvement in their kids lives.  

       It is hard when parents are often told how they can and cannot discipline or correct their children.  The respect for parental authority is challenged in court and in the classroom.  It doesn’t help when many families are broken or in fact have never formed legally in the first place.  Kids get conflicting sets of rules and expectations and often in those situations are told by whatever person in authority over them at the time tears down or directly tells the child/teen that they do not have to listen to or respect the other parent’s rules or expectations if they differ from their own.

       In the news also is the case of a father who took his child to church against the wishes of the mother.  When the mother and father were together they agreed to raise the child in the Jewish faith.  When the parents were no longer together…the father decided to go back to his Christian faith and take his child to court.  Now the court says he can not expose the child to his faith.  Who has more authority with the child; the mother, the father, or the court.  Evidently the court does.  

        This is why in previous generations there were warnings about “mixed marriages” when it came to beliefs or what the old timers called being unequally yolked or joined together.  It is hard to have a respectful blending of beliefs and raise children in those kind of relationships.  Can it be done?  It seems only if the couple agrees to expose them to differing viewpoints…because in this particular case, the court says no, the father may not take his child to his church to educate the child about his beliefs.   Is this right or wrong?

        I have a friend who has a special needs child who is in his 30′s who lives in an assisted living type of home.  That individual developed some complications with his health years ago and almost died.  The parent in that situation had to fight tooth and nail to keep authority over the medical treatment of her son.  Again this past week, her parental authority was challenged.  

        The doctor in charge wanted to medicate her child to battle some health issues that a lifestyle change would also help to fascilitate his return to health.  It looked as if the powers that be would escalate the struggle to the next level and would have even gone beyond harsh words and a pushy agenda in gaining the upper hand in who was in control over the medical decisions regarding the young man.   The parent had to push to “temporarily” removed him from the environment and stressed that the same goal of reducing the health risk to her son could be achieved by changes to his diet and exercise plan on a daily basis.   This is going to come down to what they can achieve and the documentation of her approach.  If it doesn’t work the way that the parent knows to be true; then the facility will try to enforce their plan of medication which in his case can have an extremely dire affect upon his health because of the side effects.

         All of these situations and more every day are jeparodizing the importance of the role that parents play in shaping the lives of their children.  We who have children have to step up to the plate and demand that we be given the opportunity to raise our children to the best of our ability with full legal, moral, physical and spiritual authority; unless we prove that we are not capable of handling that authority.  Parental authority/parental rights should only be challenged or threatened in cases of abuse/neglect/or endangerment.

        What are your thoughts on this subject?  Do you have an experience that you would like to share?

          Michael’s childhood was interrupted when he was 11 years old; when his family, The Jackson 5, made their musical debut.   Their father Joe was a steel worker in Gary, Indiana.  When the family began to find some success, everything changed.  Some say that Michael lost his childhood during those years of performing with his family; and later, when he began a solo career after his 13th birthday.  Stories are often told of his stormy relationship with his father and his family; both during those years of performing as a family when perfection was demanded and later in life when he distanced himself from his father and others.  Michael has done interviews where he talked of the mental and physical abuse he says came from his father.  That alleged abuse has affected the entire family of siblings in different ways.  Emotionally this created isolation between some of the siblings and in their relationships with others outside of the family.

            There were financial difficulties, misunderstandings between Michael and some of his friends, creditors who felt ignored…custody battles, divorces, legal wrangling over his property Neverland Ranch, legal disagreements with a Middle Eastern Prince over a recording deal…etc.  There always seemed to be some sort of controversy in Michael’s life.

         Over the years, there has been mystery surrounding Michael’s way of life.  From the strange to the absurd to the fascination with Peter Pan and the Neverland ranch to allegations of child abuse against others.   He also said, in the past, that he never wanted to grow up because he felt like he missed his childhood.   Some of the odd rumors and child molestation accusations created even more of a seperation between Michael and others.   Some of his fans and his friends supported him over the years…but, a few of his antics in public did not help the perception of who Michael Jackson was.  He often covered his face in public and that of his children.  He did some questionable things such as dangling his infant son over a balcony.   Some celebrity friends have made statements about how they feel that Michael was misunderstood.   However, not too many people have denied his creative musical genius.  Berry Gordy, at one time head of Motown, says that he felt like Michael was his son.  They were close throughout the years.  There is a long list of celebrities who felt that Michael was their friend.  Still, other “friends” who are talking openly about concerns they had with some aspects of Michael’s life.  I am sure there are more disclosures to come. 

         Michael’s personal adult relationships have also held questions and mystery.  Debbie Rowe is the woman who carried two of his children; she worked for one of Michael’s doctors when they met.  He later married and divorced her.  Later he married, Lisa Marie Presleythe daughter of Elvis.  She says that she was in over her head trying to prevent what just happened with his death.  She says that he talked about his fear of ending up like her father.   She felt frustrated that she couldnt help him and she allegedly said that she was emotionally and spiritually exhausted trying to help him.

         News stories have alluded to the fact that it is well known, in his inner circle, that he has been addicted to perscription drugs since the days of his injuries that he incurred when he was filming a Pepsi commercial and his hair caught on fire.  That is going back alot of years.  Lisa Marie says that their marriage was not a sham…that she loved him and dreaded what was to come in his life.  His romantic relationships were interrupted through the births of his children and custody issues and then, if in fact Lisa Marie statements are understood to mean that enablers were in his life at that time as well as now…then, he really stood no chance of overcoming his addictions.  As long as he had money to pay for it…they would supply the drugs that he was addicted to.

        In his death, there will still be controversy…not only for the way that he died…but in the settlement of his legacy.  His finances, his debts…the placement of his children and who knows…maybe in the end; there will be some understanding of who Michael really was.

         I have listened to news reports that have made a mockery out of the trauma that they are going through by covering each and every mundane thing that they do together and seperately with the children.   It is unfortunate, but this happens to millions of families around the world every day; it isn’t meant for public consumption.   Lately,the media reports was all about suspected infidelity and book tours.  Now in the last week or two, “the announcement” of a life changing decision was used to build up suspense for the weekly show.  For real, people…doesn’t it feel a little like being a spectator for a disaster?  Waiting and wondering how things are going to unfold, who will come out a survivor, and then, what paths each individual will take on their journey if, this all ends badly? 

         What started out as a show of entertainment and a way to support their family has consummed them.  The publicity has to have turned into a kind of sword that now is only causing more pain.   I can’t help it, i wouldnt watch the show….not because they are not interesting, not because i have taken sides with one or the other of the couple…but, merely because I do not consider this to be entertainment…i happen to think that by watch the show we are actually becoming part of the problem and hurting them as a family.  Please, let them heal in their own way…out of the eyes of the viewers.

         Kate’s own brother and sister in law are begging people to stop watching the show out of concern for each of the family  members.  I am sorry, but Jon and Kate Plus Eight is no longer entertainment…it is a family tragedy!  There are people who love and care about what happens to each of them and this is painful to watch.    Are we going to be forced to hear in the media of divisions of their property, custody issues over the children, visitation difficulties and blending of families sometime into the future of this family when and if they decide to move on with other relationships?  Really, can’t we all just stop paying attention in this obsessive way and respect them enough to let them work out family issues in private to minimize damage to one another, the children and the friends and extended family members?    Should people watch or stop watching this show; what is your opinion?