That being said…even those mother’s have done something to be remembered for, and that is for bringing their children into the world.  At the most basic level…giving life is something to honor; since not every woman who discovers she is pregnant makes the choice to give birth to her child.  If you had a mother who only functioned at a bare minimum, then I hope you had another woman who filled a mother- like role in your life, encouraging, teaching, praising and loving you; someone to step in and protect you.  Acknowledge that person on mother’s day and don’t let the negative emotions in regards to whether a birth mother was mother of the year or not; choose to celebrate love.

I’ve been blessed and I want to take a moment to celebrate love.  A few years ago, we were told that my mother had an enlarged heart.  This was traumatic as my mother was/is one of those women who loved and encouraged her children as we grew up.  She continues to do this.  Now her medical condition has been treated with medication and close monitoring; we are grateful for that.  However, it got me to thinking about mothers who love deeply.

I thought about the changes that happen when a woman is pregnant.  Her emotions change, her mind changes as she makes decisions that she feels are the best for her and her child.  Hopefully, she has a loving and supportive mate to help her as she parents her child…not everyone does.  A pregnant woman’s spirit changes too…she has to think beyond herself and how the life of the child she carries will be influenced by the choices she makes in life.  Finally, her body changes…oh you know the usual: weight gain, swollen ankles, varicose veins…hemorrhoids…headaches and cravings.  The important change I think for a woman who really wants to be a mother, is that her heart enlarges…it makes room for more love than you can imagine a heart to contain.

That love is what builds a life that can withstand problems, challenges, and negativity that is sure to come their way as they live their lives.  That love is what opens the door to the good things in life that are meant to be enjoyed and nurtured.  That love is what keeps the human race continuing.

I think mothers who chose to love and are loved in return should be celebrated.  If you didn’t get that, from the luck of the draw, at the moment of your conception & birth…you can still find it. Everyone wants and needs that kind of love in their life.  Be sensitive towards those who you know have a hard time at this time of year due to abandonment issues, abuse, neglect or due to the death of their mother figure.  Be a role model and encourage those who are sad or lonely or feeling cheated in the mother department.

This world is full of women who have enlarged hearts and are willing to share them.  Find someone to celebrate the good things in your life with.  Whether it be as a sister, a friend, an auntie, a grandma, a daughter…a teacher, a neighbor or a pen pal; a mother’s heart can be found in a multitude of relationships.  Let yourself love and be loved.  Don’t let a broken biological accident of birth scar you into a negative mother’s day.  Find someone who can share an enlarged heart with you…and give & receive the best that life has to offer…a truly wonderful Mother’s Day!

Many of the comments that I overheard were negative and directed at my daughter.  All three girls have dominant personalities but what I was getting a glimpse of was what you would call verbal bullying.  Early the next day we had activities to go to so I wasn’t hearing much but I didn’t like some of what I did hear.   Even more importantly, when negative comments were made regarding my daughter she did not speak up or against what was being said.

When I would hear the tone of voice or the partial conversations that made me go…ummm what was that you said; all I got for clarification was , “oh nothing, never mind”.  That only made me listen closer.

So it was on the drive delivering the girls to their home that I was in a better position to hear clearly a couple of comments that I felt were so outrageous and disrespect or demeaning that I had to address it.  Now, understand…these girls weren’t purposely trying to be cruel.

I feel that they were more unaware of what they were doing…and yet, it had to be talked about.  I expressed to them that friends did not speak that way to one another.  Friendship I said can last a lifetime if the people involved take the time to care for one another, support and encourage one another.   I said that there are enough people in this world ready, willing and able to tear you down, make fun of you, disrespect you and try to make you feel small.  I said that it was unacceptable for them to speak to one another that way.  It had to stop.  That it was unhealthy.

My concern was two fold…one that my daughter’s self-esteem not be damaged by “friends” whose opinions mean a great deal to my daughter and two that her friends understand that this kind of behavior was not only not healthy but would not be tolerated.  Those girls as well as my daughter needed to understand that self esteem and relationships go hand in hand and that they form at a young age how we allow ourselves to be treated in future relationships.

A damaged self esteem sets up individuals for entering into abusive relationships.  An individual who abuses others in a relationship often end up in very unhealthy relationships later in life as well.   I don’t want any of either of those types of relationships for these three young ladies.

People who are involved in dysfunctional relationships are often caught up in depression, drugs/alcohol abuse, violence, pre-marital sex at a young age and even teen pregnancies.  The prison systems are full of abandoned individuals who’ve gotten involved in the wrong things; because they didn’t develop healthy foundations, in their own minds, about who they are and what they deserve in life.  Too often people are told they are no good and they don’t deserve anything but emotional crumbs in their day to day lives; and it isn’t true.  Life is too short to be broken, angry, hurt and miserable.  Everyone has the right to grow up believing that they deserve the best life has to offer.

Today it seems that people just don’t know how to support one another or relate to each other in a positive way.  The world has become very negative and toxic.  Many people only concern themselves with getting their own needs met and often times they do that at the expense of others.  We need to find ways to build people up, support them, encourage them and help them to grow in positive ways.

Parents, teachers, siblings, friends and clergy need to keep tuned into the people involved in relationships with the people that they love.  Listen closely to how they speak to one another, how they treat one another and how they allow others to treat them as well.  Building healthy interactions between those we are in charge over is important.  Do you have any tips to help someone in this type of situation?

          Finding ways to help people be successful in life is a wonderful thing.  Children (or adults) who are affected by Autism are at a disadvantage, in life, if they can’t read the expressions and body language of those with whom they work and spend time with. 

         The face on the engine of Thomas and his pals will show different emotions.  This game is being designed to help children, who often struggle with social cues and body language issues, to understand and relate better to the people in their lives in a more appropriate way.  Human interaction is a complex thing; and, if you can’t see differences in how others are interpeting circumstances, then your own responses may not be appropriate. 

          Autism is not just a specific disease with a certain, rigid set of symptoms.  Understanding Autism and it’s effects is complex.  The medical profession, and educators, are always looking for ways to help.  If this game can open doors for those affected; then, i see no downside to using it.  To learn more about Autism check out these websites: http://www.nationalautismassociation.org/# or http://www.emedicinehealth.com/autism/article_em.htm or http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/brain/autism.html

         Oh to be sure, there is excitement, a sense of accomplishment, joy, happiness, a burst of energy, a need to tell the world; but the flip side of that is fear, an intense worry about failure, bittersweet sadness/joy, unhappiness, lethargy/laziness, and a need to keep things a secret, in case it doesn’t work out.   After all, what if the thing I worked so hard for, so longed for, waited until i came of age for…doesn’t measure up…or worse, what if I blow it?  What if people find out that the very thing that i went after; I wasn’t equipped to do?

          Geez, Louise, somebody could expect something from me…such as success, accomplishment, and or an ability to change the world with my achievement.  Then what?  Oh the agony of getting there only to be frozen in the moment.  Hmmm what to do?

           This is the gift of living with purpose, with goals, with expectation…this is what many graduates are now experiencing.  Whether it be high school, college, or a milestone at work, or personal relationships; this big bowl of mixed emotions is served on a silver platter.   Here’s the thing, try to remember that not everything rests upon your achievement or failure…joy can be found on the journey as well.  You just never know where your journey is going to take you; and, some of the best things in life can be found on the little side trips that you dare to risk taking.

             I know it is hard; push through it anyway…you will be rewarded.  Your goal is in sight…and your path will be made clear from both the successes and the “failures” (I call them u-turns).  The trick is to just keep going…keep putting one foot in front of the other, look for things to enjoy along the way!   Continue learning, continue growing, continue exploring until you find your passion…that alone, will push you through any obstacle that plops itself down in your pathway!  Oh by the way, congratulations on whatever milestone you have hit…what’s next?  Whatever it is, go for it, enjoy it…learn from it and share it with the world!

       In the entrance of the yard, is the driveway.  When you first drive in, you see two very large, showy lilac bushes of a reddish grape color; and, one of a light lilac pink splash on the opposite side of the driveway.  Straight away, dead on is a very old and dilapilated arbor that had made a statement attesting to it ability to outlast anything newly purchased. 

          Oh, to be sure, the lattice work is warped here and there; a little out of alignment with it’s orginal design..but, that is alright…it has staying power.  Besides, the arbor has been integrated with the beautiful coral trumpets that push through the white, peeling slats of the lattice work and the dark, shinny green foliage of the trumpet vine itself.  Its aged vines have woven themselves throughout, until they are somewhat tree-like in their strength.  The vines are twisted and knotted like an elderly great -grandmother’s hands that have lovingly provided for her family over the years.  It has earned it’s bends and twists by being adaptable to the growing environment.

        If, I were so bold and destructive, why I could cut the lattice work and unweave it from the web of vine; but, I admire the arbor’s desire to stand there and make a statement about it’s ability to stand and deliver.   It’s a bit tilted despite it’s original, solid 4 x 4 construction, many a year ago. 

         Now, I forgot to mention the airy and pristine white of the delicate, bridal veil (white spirea) bush that stands next to the grape colored lilac bush.  As you drive around the tear drop shaped circle drive, you will pass a strand of four differing types of apple trees.  As we speak here, they are in various degrees of dressed up pink and white star shaped blossoms that flutter to the ground as the beautifully scented air mixes a smell to rival the best canned air freshener you can buy on the market. 

         At the foot of the apple trees are the day lillies of varying colors…still just sporting their dark, spiky green foliage.  They are awaiting warmer weather to dot the canvas with their showy, single and double petaled flowers.  In between this are a few scattered rose bushes that are struggling to survive the occasionally, and unpredictably waterlogged clay soil that is mixed with the rocky gravel from the driveway.  Under laying this is the emerald green myrtle ground cover with it’s beautifully, low to the ground peri-winkle star shaped flat flowers.  In a tarzan attempt to stretch to great feats of purpose is a purple wisteria that took many years to finally bloom; after almost being consumed in a fire.  It’s  drooping  grape -like cluster of flowers look lush over the homemade arbor going into the secret garden area. 

        As you enter that…there is a hugely over large honeysuckle bush that defies any attempts to keep it in line; with the limited pathway to the small wooden bride that crosses over two largely neglected man-made ponds.  They are filled with a burst of lemony yellow irises that are almost ready to appear.  Along behind that, is a beauty bush that smells like  cinnamony cloves when the weather warms it’s pretty pale pink, deep bell -like flowers that the bees can not resist buzzing.  Behind those bushes are some more lilacs…this time in the common lilac color along with a new younger white lilac that has chosen to produce some double blossoms.  Here and there I have added one of my greatest loves; that is asiatic and oriental lillies.  The oriental lillies have the strongest scent…they are clove-like in scent…and at night… they entice you to walk among them and just inhale for the joy of it!  There are some that are white- and some that are scarlet with a deeper magenta accents…they are called stargazers.  Those are the lillies that inspire a person to a sensual awakening.

        If you continue to travel on…there is a small straight row of  medium pink peonies  mixed with some crowding bishops weed with it’s tall spiky white flowers which resemble Queen Anne’s Lace but to me doesn’t quite measure up.  A green grape grows on the corner of the pagoda here.  Then, there is the campfire area where we will be spending much time this summer. 

        Crossing the driveway once again you see the main garden in the center of the teardrop driveway.  There is another small man made pond.  This one has a wooden deck built around it with a wide variety of flowers meant to produce a richer tapestry of colors and smells.  Here you will find japanese koi in the pond along with some black and some gold fish.  There are water lillies still to come…some white, some pink, one yellow.  Only the pink one smells, much to my sadness.  Surrounding this pond is another apple tree, also in full blossoms at the moment.  There is at the foot of that…some variegated hostas, sweet lilly of the valley, some bleeding hearts, more rose bushes, some ajuga with it’s deep purple, spring flowers that are low to the ground.

         Around the perimeter of the teardrop you will find a mix of perrenials and annual flowers.  There are multiple day lillies, roses, catcuses, virginia bluebells, a wild rose bush, snap dragons, moss roses, irises, tulips-some that are flaming yellow with red streaks or, as I call them…my pretty painted ladies.

          Around the waterfall, is some wild butterfly weed, some pink mallow, marigolds, dark purple clematis on a fancy metal trellis.   In a half of a blue barrel is planted some annuals , some geraniums…and what I am told is called, the American running bean-or as Thomas Jefferson  (deceased American President) once called the most beautiful bean plant ever created.  That is an unusual plant.  In the fall, it gets a deep burgundy pod (looks like an overlarge green bean pod).  During the summer, it gets a two toned flower a light pink and a darker purple petaled flower climbing up the vine.  Truly lovely to look at.

           Around the chicken coops we have planted some pear trees, some more day lillies, a current bush, some blackberries, and some rhubarb.  Turning to the right…you will see a chainlink fence that surrounds the food garden.  The fencing is a necessary evil to protect against the maurading deer and rabbits that come to feast on the bounty that is my yard.  I dont mind sharing a wee little bit…however…the stems and leaves that they leave behind …truly don’t amount to much food for the family. 

         So, I suffer the indignity of the fence and disquise it behind a wall of morning glories who are more than proud to show their pretty pantaloons of pink, white and purple as they flutter in the breeze.  As a backdrop behind the food plants, I make sure that i plant two rows of dancing sunflowers…just so that the birds are tempted to come and graze; hopefully they are gratefully distracted by the tempting sunflower morsels that they leave the garden produce alone.  Ha…it is my attempt to find a balance between the need to grow food and nurture nature.

         In my garden you will find peace, you will find artistry, you will find butterflies and hummingbirds, and a few random bees.    The garden was meant to please and to instill a desire to admire beauty.  The wind chimes tickle the ear with their different tones from a high tinkling to a throaty singing; I love them all.  Mix in the flapping of the United States flag and the Marine Corps flag as they snap in a brisk wind and you have a day to brag about.  During this Memorial weekend…it is a sense of patriotic pride that causes me to look up and remember why that flag is allowed to fly free…because our military men and women have fought for and defended this country to give us the right to live freely.  They deserve our respect and gratitude not just on this weekend…but every other day of the year for the sacrifice they have given.

          I am most thankful for my painted ladies…I can dine with them, I can sit and stare…they don’t seem to mind a bit.   I can relax in my own back yard and enjoy the freedoms earned by our miliary men and women around the globe; my own family members have served and, I am proud of them.  I try to thank members of the armed forces whenever I can.  In fact, I encourage you to send thank you cards to this non-profit project at:  http://www.make2tell2.com/ .  They deserve our thanks and our support. 

            In honor of those who serve our country daily, I will try to find an opportunity to post a picture or two of  my yard this year!   I hope that when they come home, from whatever post they have served at; that they would have a garden of peace to enjoy as well.   Please pray for our service people…they can never be thanked enough for what they go through.   Would you like to see some pictures of the painted ladies?  Or have I described them well enough?

Going out to eat when you are trying to save money means, well, that you eat off of the dollar menu at fast food places.  On the rare occasions that you treat yourself, for those who are strapped for cash, you generally can’t find healthy food cheap; so…just know that going in.

Wanting to see a movie; prepare to spend, spend, spend…unless you rent a video/dvd….do people still do that?  Going out to the movie theater means spending money for the ticket, for snacks and for drinks; it becomes quite costly.  For years, our family just purchased dvd’s and video’s, so that they could be rewatched, saving  us a pretty penny.  If you happen to do yard/garage sales you can save even more by purchasing your video/dvd’s at a pre-owned price.  At the same time, buying things pre-owned is a way of reusing, reducing (trash), and recycling items by repurposing them for someone else’s use.  I like that!

The trick to saving money when it comes to your personal or family’s entertainment is to look for coupons, specials, two-for-one deals or even free entertainment.  What’s that you say…what is free now days?

When it comes to free entertainment…I believe people are going to go back to the old fashioned entertainments.  You will begin to see individuals and families going back to the basics with gardening, picnics, swimming, sports, walks in the park, short sunday drives, and yes, even reading.

What other kind of entertainment can you get as much bang for your buck?  With a book you can travel the world, educate yourself, comfort yourself, ride the waves of emotions, connect to people, places and time, have a historical encounter, explore a new culture or career; you will be able to read people’s minds through the expertise of a great writer!  A great writer knows how to take you on a trip and make you feel like you could smell the flowers on the page of the most vividly described page in the book.  A great writer will make you feel like you have just  met the most physically attractive and the most impeccably dressed individual you have ever known.  You will grieve when you have to part at the end of the book.  A great writer, or word specialist, will take their time to make you feel, see, and hear the story that they have to share with you.  It is their skill with descriptive words that takes you to the world between the pages.

I recently heard, on a Good Morning America video piece, that sales in the romance book industry is flying high.  http://www.abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=7603141 It  is cheap entertainment to pick up a romance book/or other paper back books for a mere $5-$8.oo investment.  It is a book…it can be read over and over again; or, creative people can do book exchanges with one another.  Those with a real frugal personality, and maybe a greener nature  than the average bear, can be found at the library…checking out books for free; just so that they can occupy themselves with the cheapest form of entertainment there is: reading!   Let’s not forget the techie who often reads books/novels on their kindle…therefore wasting little money and no trees that were cut down for printing of the book.   Ok people, go amuse yourselves!!!

         They are only 2 & 3 years old…so this will be fun.  Momma is on bed rest due to pregnancy.  So we will take a try over to her and let her help decorate once they are baked.

         The only thing better would be to get to do this also with my other grandchildren who live out of state.  This makes me blue because i would love to do the same wonderful thing with them.  Those grandchildren are a bit older and so the experience would be a bit more artistic.  Maybe next year Grandma will get to see them during Christmas. 

          In the meantime…we are going to enjoy Christmas, cookies, and the gift of Grandchildren!