That being said…even those mother’s have done something to be remembered for, and that is for bringing their children into the world.  At the most basic level…giving life is something to honor; since not every woman who discovers she is pregnant makes the choice to give birth to her child.  If you had a mother who only functioned at a bare minimum, then I hope you had another woman who filled a mother- like role in your life, encouraging, teaching, praising and loving you; someone to step in and protect you.  Acknowledge that person on mother’s day and don’t let the negative emotions in regards to whether a birth mother was mother of the year or not; choose to celebrate love.

I’ve been blessed and I want to take a moment to celebrate love.  A few years ago, we were told that my mother had an enlarged heart.  This was traumatic as my mother was/is one of those women who loved and encouraged her children as we grew up.  She continues to do this.  Now her medical condition has been treated with medication and close monitoring; we are grateful for that.  However, it got me to thinking about mothers who love deeply.

I thought about the changes that happen when a woman is pregnant.  Her emotions change, her mind changes as she makes decisions that she feels are the best for her and her child.  Hopefully, she has a loving and supportive mate to help her as she parents her child…not everyone does.  A pregnant woman’s spirit changes too…she has to think beyond herself and how the life of the child she carries will be influenced by the choices she makes in life.  Finally, her body changes…oh you know the usual: weight gain, swollen ankles, varicose veins…hemorrhoids…headaches and cravings.  The important change I think for a woman who really wants to be a mother, is that her heart enlarges…it makes room for more love than you can imagine a heart to contain.

That love is what builds a life that can withstand problems, challenges, and negativity that is sure to come their way as they live their lives.  That love is what opens the door to the good things in life that are meant to be enjoyed and nurtured.  That love is what keeps the human race continuing.

I think mothers who chose to love and are loved in return should be celebrated.  If you didn’t get that, from the luck of the draw, at the moment of your conception & birth…you can still find it. Everyone wants and needs that kind of love in their life.  Be sensitive towards those who you know have a hard time at this time of year due to abandonment issues, abuse, neglect or due to the death of their mother figure.  Be a role model and encourage those who are sad or lonely or feeling cheated in the mother department.

This world is full of women who have enlarged hearts and are willing to share them.  Find someone to celebrate the good things in your life with.  Whether it be as a sister, a friend, an auntie, a grandma, a daughter…a teacher, a neighbor or a pen pal; a mother’s heart can be found in a multitude of relationships.  Let yourself love and be loved.  Don’t let a broken biological accident of birth scar you into a negative mother’s day.  Find someone who can share an enlarged heart with you…and give & receive the best that life has to offer…a truly wonderful Mother’s Day!

Allegedly there are even more sound bites from these audio recordings that have equally disturbing comments from Mel Gibson. In the past, he has been accused by some as having made disturbing comments about Jews when he was arrested.  It was said in reference to those statements, that he was under the influence.  Others would argue that what is in the heart bubbles to the surface when that person’s inhibitions are loosened up from drugs/alcohol.

This past year has seen Mr. Gibson separate from his wife of 30 years, Robyn only to publically engage in his relationship with Ms. Oksana Grigorieva.   They had a female child, Lucia, together and it is alleged by Oksana that Mel Gibson physically assaulted her by hitting her in the face, while she was holding their daughter, causing physical harm to Oksana; as well as threatening to burn down her residence. 

 Mel is now being investigated for domestic violence by law enforcement.  A tallent agency has stopped representing him in the last week as well after Mel supposedly made disparaging remarks about hispanics whom he allegedly called “wetbacks”.  His personal reputation is going through some rapid changes.   He has been a successful actor in the box office for years earning kudos from the entertainment world and from fans alike. 

These audio tapes, if proven to be his voice, are not going to help Mel Gibson dispell the impression that he is guilty of domestic violence when the tone of voice, that is alleged to be him, states the Oksana looks like a whore, has fake breasts and that she dresses in a provocative way; the male voice goes on to say that if she is attacked and raped by a pack of (N-word insulting name for African Americans) then she DESERVES that. 

No-one deserves to be raped EVER by ANYONE; and I think, if he did make those statesment that it will be hard to regain any semblance of respect from people who believe as I do that it is wrong to say such things as well as to believe it.   Also, the voice on the tape seems to dismiss Oksana by saying things such as I do not trust you, I don’t love you and I don’t want you; these are meant to tear down and diminish the context of their relationship.  It was a relationship that would not be condoned by the church because it was outside of a marriage situation; still, he chose to indulge in a relationship with her so to talk in such a way about her is insulting on many levels.   Whoa, talk about offensive!

I mean, obviously she was a good enough woman to have sex with; as evidenced by the birth of their child.  He was attracted to her enough for that.   He stepped outside of his marriage to have the relationship with Oksana.   Yet, in the same vein, she is a whore; beneath contempt evidenced by his alleged words.   These are the mixed up thoughts of a man who has not come to the understanding of the wholeness of an intimate relationship.  I mean, you can’t have sex with a person outside of marriage and condem them without also condeming yourself.  If she is a whore…then what makes him any different than her?  Is this self hate that he is directing at her because he can’t sort it out in his own head?  You have to wonder if his relationship with Oksana is the only illicit relationship that he has indulged in; maybe guilt is eating him alive.

How do you go from being in a marriage of over 30 years; to starting a new relationship with a woman who is not your wife, while still married and with whom you create a child; and then espouse your intense dislike and disrespect for that same person in such a way as to try to demean them as a person and as a woman.   Inflicting alleged verbal, emotional and physical abuse upon them for the very acts that you willingly engaged in; when you yourself are a willing participant in the relationship, is a difficult concept for people to understand.  If one is at fault, then both is at fault in the eyes of God, unless it is a forced sexual contact.

Emotions are very convoluted…mixed up with lust, anger, resentment, sadness and loathing not to mention guilt and embarassment.   The conscious is a complicated thing; when people go against their own moral or religious values to give in to sin or temptation…the spirit rebels.  Words and actions start to conflict with one another and it causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships.   The conscious is inside each of us to keep us from wrongdoing…it is a tool.  When we disregard the very core of our beings and choose to step outside of what we believe is right/wrong we end up punishing ourselves and others in ways that we don’t understand.

This is one loaded audio recording: if indeed Mr. Gibson said, let alone thought any of these things.   Then, it is indicative of a man eaten alive by a corrosive hate for not only those who are different from him by race or by being born female, as well.  Let’s remember, Oksana is the MOTHER of his child as much as Robyn is; although Robyn had every moral and legal right as his wife to have the fullness of marriage by having intimate relations with him and giving birth to his children.   Eventually Mel and Oksana’s young daughter Lucia will grow up and read of his rantings and judgements.   On the other side of things, Mel already has children, from his marriage, old enough to read and understand his words and deeds.   These kinds of words and actions are destructive to family relationships.   What must Robyn or his adult children think of his behavior…his thoughts, his words and his mindset?   Mel is still their father but they too must be trying to sort out this confusing circumstances.

Mel appears to be a man of conflicting images.  He is on one hand professionally praised by other actors and actresses and co-workers.  But, don’t you have to wonder how they feel, hearing of his feelings about women, race relations and appearances?  He was known for years as a family man to the public.   He was known for his Catholic beliefs.   He was a benefactor for children and agencies that helped them.  Yet, in the last few years he has had issues that have festered to the surface in public and in private.  Who is the real Mel Gibson?

It is just my observation but, Mel comes across to me as a man who is embroiled in inner conflicts that he does not know how to resolve.  A husband, father, family man/a man who was allegedly involved in a romantic relationship outside of his marriage vows, a good Catholic/yet a man who openly hates Jews (Jesus was a Jew), An actor and director who works with women in the entertainment industry who often dress provocatively for movie roles and for publicity; and, people of all skin colors and various religious beliefs, both behind the scenes and in film roles on the screen. 

People who are tormented with hatred of others, simply because of their own intolerence for people who are different from them, are the most miserable people.  Their intense dislike of others is caustic and hard to rally support for except from like-minded people who are also filled with judgement and hatred.  Usually there is also a large supply of self- hatred underneath it all which is masked by self-medicating behavior with drugs, alcohol, cutting or self maiming physical behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, or promiscuity; all of which are self destructive.  

What is needed is a healing of the physical, emotional and spiritual person.  Someone who fills up on hate or self destructive behaviors is someone who is trying to fill up empty spots or voids in their lives.  They don’t know how to heal and often will need professional help; such as legal intervention, sometimes medical help such as medication, psychological evaluations and treatment, and spiritual guidance which focuses on positive guidelines for building up an attitude of love, encouragement and peace.  Someone who has been indoctrinated since childhood with hate may require long term intervention before they are able to accept not only themselves but others on an equal footing or at least in an unconfrontational way of life.

A person’s legacy is a very important thing.  It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or not;  we alone determine the kind of legacy that we leave this earth with; by our thoughts, our actions, and by the way we make others feel.    We live such a short time on this earth so why spend it in turmoil, unhappiness, anger and violence.  Life is so much more rewarding when people find ways to live in peace, harmony, and love.  If you or someone you know is imploding from hatred in their heart and mind…please find help before you destroy yourself or others.

        Dealing with the paperwork, the care of other siblings and spouse, working a full time job;  not to mention hands on care between treatments, paying bills, chauffeuring back and forth between doctor and hospital visits; it can become overwhelming.  However, the most important thing is meeting the physical, spiritual and emotional needs of your childhood cancer patient.  You can’t be all things to all of the people in your life at the same time and there are moments when you have to be away from your child in the hospital.  Finding a way to still provide comfort and security for your child, even when you aren’t there, is of the utmost importance to you.    This is extremely important for the positive outcome of the battle against cancer.  There is someone who has been there and is trying to make a difference for other families in the same battle.

        There is a non-profit organization called, Friends Like Us.  Friends like us was started by the parents of a childhood cancer patient named Brandon.  Mark and Delores Bailey are those parents and they created something called the chemo bear.  This bear provided comfort to their son when he fought his battle.  The chemo bear is customized in a way with interactionable parts which simulates the treatments that the cancer patient goes through.  This helps to open the door for positive communication between the child-patient and the medical staff who are providing care.

       Children with cancer have to deal with so many life changes and it can be frightening and lonely.  Treatments are often unpleasant or uncomfortable.   These bears can provide great physical and emotional comfort to a child who is suffering during this time in unfamiliar locations sometimes seperated from friends or family. 

       The Bailey’s have started a program which provides chemo bears free of charge to child cancer patients through social workers in cancer hospitals.  The bears cost about 24 dollars to make and ship…and so the Getting Better Together program thrives on fundraising.  This week, June 28-July 5th, they are having a fundraising event called, Adopt A Bear.  For each $25 dollar donation, a bear will be given to a child with cancer.  Want to learn more about this wonderful program?  Are you associated with a hospital or cancer clinic that has not heard of this great program?  Check out their website for more information here:  http://www.friendslikeus.org/  or follow them on Twitter here:  http://www.twitter.com/friendslikeus . 

        If you can find it in your heart to help spread the word or to donate much needed dollars to provide comfort to a little one please do so.  If you want donate in the memory of someone who’s life has been affected by cancer; please do.   I think that is a great way to honor someone.  Thank you!

       It was said that Michael left a note saying that he planned to kill himself because of his depression.  He said it made him feel like he had no friends and didn’t fit in.   This is so tragic; he was only 18.  Michael is one of Marie and her ex-husband Brian Blonsil’s eight children.  He was adopted as well as several of the other children.  It has not been revealed to the public what sort of issues that Michael had been dealing with over the years…and maybe it should never be information for the public to know.  Those issues were private…and even though some of the Osmonds are very public people…they have a right to privacy as they grieve.

       I do know that when you are an adoptive family, you often live under a microscope.  People feel free to judge or to freely give advice on raising those children to the parents who have chosen to add them to their family.   It adds a level of interferrence in the raising of adopted children who are being grafted or blended into an existing family.  This is sometimes no easy feat; especially if the children happen to be a bit older when the adoption takes place.  I can only imagine how much more difficult the situation is when there is fame involved with the adoptive family.

        Depression is a big challenge and unless you have some personal relationship with the issue…it can be hard to understand.   However, Marie herself struggled with post partum depression after giving birth to one of her children.  It can severely affect not only the individual who struggles with it…but anyone who loves them.   It is important to get help if you are dealing with depression.  Many people don’t realize how serious it can be.  Sometimes depression is a chemical imbalance and medication can help; other times, other therapies can be helpful.  Talk to a health professional right away if you or someone you care about is struggling with depression.

        I can only hope that the media will respect this family as they try to deal with the loss of Michael.  Suicide leaves a lot of damage for the survivors left behind.   There will need to be some major healing time for this family.   May God help them all.

       Please, if you are someone who struggles with depression or suicidal thoughts; or, you know someone who is…please seek immediate help by checking out this site:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  or by contacting a health care professional.

Bullying is more complicated these days because of the way in which it is done; it is psychological, it is persistent, and it can include threats, violence, or even sexual threats.  Most people over the age of 40 remember the school bully…you know the one.  He/She was the person who everyone feared and gave a wide berth to just because he sought out and picked on those he/she knew for a fact that they could take on and win.  We all have had some relationship to that kind of person.   However, now it seems that there is a group mentality when bullying or persistent harassment starts up.

  Back when i was growing up you had one of two options…ignore that person and stay far away from them or “stand up to them” and work up your courage to go toe to toe.  Remember the childhood phrase that we were all taught…sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you?  That couldn’t be farther from the truth; we all know that words have the power to destroy a person’s self-worth and the value of that person in the eyes of others.

Everyday it seems that we hear about another child/teen/college student that has been bullied or cyber stalked and trash talked about.  Many of those cases either end in a suicide or a violent attack or even in some cases of extreme bullying…a retribution plan of attack on a school with a violent outburst.  Lives are ruined, hearts and minds are damaged; many individuals end up in prison because of bullying.

 A real danger is people who think that bullying is a normal part of growing up…it isn’t and it should not ever be allowed.  Making excuses and telling a victim of such behavior to just ignore it is equal to nullifying their experience with bullying…which in effect tells them that they are powerless to change their circumstance in a positive way.

There is a hopelessness about our young people.   Many of them, in a desperate need to feel something, are self mutilating, becoming promiscuous,  developing eating disorders, or diving into the world of drug/alcohol addictions in reaction to their feelings about themselves and their lack of proper treatment by others.   They have been conditioned to think that nothing is going to change for the better; so they feel angry, bitter, broken and depressed.

 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it doesn’t affect you, your children, your grandchildren, or the children in your church or neighborhood.  It does; and things are getting desperate.  Kids feel threatened, they feel demeaned and they feel powerless…so, many of them will arm themselves and things escalate quickly.   This is good for no one.

Respect for themselves as well as others is important to fight bullying.  Finding mentors for our young people is helpful…getting involved in sports or extra curricular activities that give them an appropriate sense of pride in themselves and their involvement.  Community service that gives them a sense of personal value and connects them to others who recognize their strengths and talents.  Inspiring hope and promise for a future is what kids need.  Instead, we often find that our young people aren’t getting those important messages about themselves.

With all of the new technology, kids are able to be “connected” 24 hours a day to not only their friends; but also, to people who wish them harm.  This connection includes cell phones, cell phone pictures, texts, email, chat lines, websites and forums.   Kids live in the midst of a multi-media blitz in their lives in school and at home.  Pay attention to them closely; watch for any changes in behavior, attitude, relationships and moods.  It could be life and death-for them and anyone who is in their lives, personally and socially.

Don’t think, not my child, not my child’s friend or the kids in my youth group.  I’ve worked with kids most of my adult life; for well over 30 years and things have broken down.  Kids, even good ones have low self esteem, they are depressed, frightened and angry.   Many of them don’t feel loved (even when they are), they don’t feel valued, appreciated or listened to.  They feel trapped and alone or isolated…even when they are surrounded by friends and activities.  It is a recipe for disaster not to recognize the patterns or seeds of destruction.

In truth, it makes you want to build a fortress around them to protect them against those who seek them out to do them harm.  So what can a parent, an educator, a spiritual leader, a friend, or a sibling do to help those caught in the web of persistent bullying/stalking?

First of all, pay attention.  Listen closely, monitor things…set limits of exposure online.  Talk to them and their friends about situations of bullying in their school or social networks.  Document any kind of negative interaction…write it down, talk to the school administration, file a report, alert teachers, bus drivers, neighborhood watches to any kind of bullying or violent situations that may come up.  Create a network of awareness and prevention where you can.  Ask your school to bring in safety experts and relationship experts who are trained in these areas of concern. 

Expect there to be resistence from the powers that be.  Many of them will give lip service to the no tolerance rule of bullying…but never, EVER, let them talk you out of filing official reports or grievances.   Often a school will just expell a student for a short time as a discipline…never following up with corrective action such as counseling or conflict resolution.   Leadership must establish methods of dealing with this type of behavior in a constructive way. 

For the victims of bullying or school violence… it may be helpful to have some self-defense training, some skilled training about paying attention to their surroundings and who is in their direct physical environment; making judgement calls about making decisions about where to go and with whom.   Get restraining orders or personal orders of protection if you feel it is something necessary to the physical and emotional well-being of the victim.     In some cases, change schools or even in extreme cases…it is best to even move or send them to live with a relative temporarily-especially if there is gang involvement.   This is no small thing to overcome and you do not want a victim of bullying/violence to become a prisoner to fear in their everyday life.

Does that sound like an over-reaction?  I can assure you that it is not; don’t believe me?  Watch the news, listen to a mother or a father that has lost a child to school violence or bullying; they would do anything if they could go back and do something different.   Or maybe listen to the child who in reaction to the bullying, who took matters into his/her own hands and tried to retaliate only to end up in prison for years or for life.  That ought to convince you that taking drastic measures to protect your child or your family is a good thing.  You see, persistent bullying often spreads and becomes a contagious thing…affecting other family members or sometimes even others in the neighborhood.   It is serious, but things can be done to improve the situation; get good advice from law enforcement or safety experts on the matter.

Ok, remember that I mentioned that some of you wouldn’t make it this far because you think it doesn’t affect you.  These young people who are traumatized, or trained to protect themselves emotionally by closing off normal pathways of emotion, are going to grow up.  They are going to become doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers and nursing home supervisors, counselors and so on.

If their standards of what is acceptable, in relation to inappropriate levels of behavior have been damaged, are you going to want them caring for your grandchildren in day care, or taking care of one of your loved ones in a hospital or nursing home setting?  If they have learned to accept that kind of treatment in their own life, they surely won’t recognize it as inappropriate behavior in relation to others like yourself.  

Please, love on the youth today build them up and help them to be strong individuals in a healthy way; care for them, listen to them, protect them through legal channels and through school policies.  You won’t regret being proactive in the name of what is right!

         It is a little bit like the song my husband was taught as a child, “You can’t ride in my little red wagon, the backseat’s broke and the axel’s draggin, chug, chug, chug-a-luga-lug,Second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse, You can’t ride in my little red wagon, the backseat’s broke and the axel’s draggin, chug, chug, chug-a-luga-lug, Third verse same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse”…you get the idea!   Nothing changes…it just keeps on keeping on.   The sameness just takes on a life of it’s own.

          Or…the children’s song: 

         This is the song that never ends…it could go on and on my friend, some people starting singing it not knowing what to do, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because, This is the song that never ends…it could go on and on my friend, Some people starting singing it not knowing what to do, and they’ll continue singing it forever….just because…This is the song that NEVER ENDS…………..etc.

          Those examples might be catchy at first…exciting in fact when beginning but by the third time around…you get bored, you want to move on…and yet…you feel trapped into the rhythm of it all.   You can’t seem to get it out of your head.  It is the same in life…whatever you are doing seems great for a time…but, when you feel like moving on and nothing happens to break the rhythm…you feel trapped…you get bored and frustrated.   Nothing satisfys you anymore…everything feels like deja vu….been there before and done that.   Disappointments and broken dreams seem to pile up in the corner.   How do you break out of  these patterns?  How do you set the wheels of change into motion?  How do you restart the passion and the joy in your step…build excitement about what you are doing, where you are going, and how you are getting there during the process?

         I think you must start with some brainstorming.  Grab a piece of paper and your favorite writing utensil.  Open up your mind and your heart.  Start a Wish list or a List of Dreams…these are ideas without limits.  As soon as a negative thought pops into your head…squash it like a bug.  For example…if you have ever had a desire to be something like a window washer on a high rise building (but you immediately throw that idea out because you are afraid of heights…that right there is a negative thought…put the dream down in writing…a high rise window washer) …Whatever your dream or wish is…list it.   Maybe it is a desire to be a concert pianist (and you can’t even play chopsticks yet)…list the dream/or skill.   No matter how far fetched it may seem…no matter how problematic it could be to make it happen.  Put it on the list.

         Write down every desire you’ve ever had, or still have, for your life.  Then on another piece of paper, write all of the roles, jobs, responsibilities, or tasks that you would love to get rid of in your life.  Doesn’t matter whether you really think that you can get rid of those things or expectations…or how inconvienced someone else would be if you were to get rid of those particular items…Write it down.   Matter of a fact, write down whatever it is that you feel is holding you back from reaching out and grabbing those dream items from the starry heavens. 

           Next, put the two lists side- by- side.  Do you notice any connections?  Do you see any relatable ideas, themes or items?  Can you see any connections at all?  Is there patterns to the things that hold you back…do they all go back to one area of your life that brings you unhappiness, dissatifaction, anxiety, anger, resentment or fear? 

           Next you need to grab another sheet of paper and write down any kind of practical solutions that would resolve your inability to build upon your dreams or your wish list…laying a foundation for achieving your goals in those areas.  Find ways both big and small that will start removing the obstacles from your path to regaining joy in forward and productive movement again…to feeling excitement in getting out of bed and putting your hands, your heart and your mind to work on the things that make a difference in your life.   Can you hear a melody yet, feel the rhythm, or sense a tempo beginning to come together…when you hear the harmony…it all starts to sound beautiful again.  Maybe you want to sing along…sway to the music, grab ahold of the emotion of the music and enjoy it just because it makes you smile again.

         The biggest joy stealers in life are resentment and bitterness at giving up on your goals and dreams because you don’t feel like you have permission to have them in your life.  Give yourself permission.  You may just find out that the situations and the people in your life that you feel would not support you in your quest/journey could very well find your bravery, in the pursuit of happiness and joy, inspiring.  

          Finally, seek God’s guidance from the beginning to the end of your seeking.  Ask him to remove obstacles, clear your pathway…and hit you over the head about which direction you should go.  Sometimes, we don’t ask him the right questions about his plans for our lives; we are more concerned about our own wants and desires, than we are about fulfilling our assignments or purpose.  When we are the most frustrated about our lives it is when he is readying us for change.  He has allowed us to feel dissatisfied about where we are…so that we are motivated to go through the struggle in changing our circumstances.   When we are in alignment with his purpose for us we will achieve things more easily, they will practically reveal themselves to us in a way that seems almost magical or surreal.

         Think about it; when we are comfortable, content or accepting of our lot in life…what reason under the sun do we have to change our course?  There is none.  So he allows us to feel the discomfort, the prompting in our spirit for something more…something different…something challenging…so that we feel the need to make changes.  Look to his leading…listen with all of your mind, your heart and your soul.  Don’t just look for the answers you want to hear…listen to his answer, even if it seems farfetched.   He goes before us and clears the way when we are seeking his guidance.  Our human minds often see no sensible way to make things happen, but if it is his desire for us, he makes things happen in an awe inspiring way.  Your  true satisfaction could be right around the corner from where you are standing!

         If God gave us all of the answers to our questions immediately, and, answered them the way we wanted him to…we would be right back in the same boat that we find ourselves in, day in and day out.  We have to feel stimulated, challenged, excited about the future so that we are encouraged to move forward; sometimes against difficult situations.   So the next time you feel in limbo, out of sorts and boxed in…think about when you feel that way; what is happening at that time…what would you like to see happen in your life that would open doorways to your true purpose?   Now, is there something that you want or need changed in your life?  What are you going to chose to do about it?

         Rumors and speculation are rampant.  Everyone has an opinion about who he was.  I wonder if anyone really knew; including his family.  Some of the interviews that have been given, speak of him as a person of love, kindness and gentleness.  Others talk of his business accumen.  There are others still who speak of him as a  person who was trusting; and as having an innocent, child-like personna…someone who was easily hurt.   He needed protection from those who meant him harm; and yet, he didn’t want to be controlled.  Some people because of the accusations of  two seperate accusers think of him as a pedophile; one accuser settled for an undisclosed financial agreement and, in the other case that went to court, Michael Jackson was acquitted.   He has been called generous and he has been called manipulative.

         I remember Michael in different ways myself. When he was starting out with the Jackson 5, I was in awe of his talent.  I was a few years younger than him and thought that he was an talented singer and dancer.  His family was making a name for itself in the recording studio and on television.  As Michael branched out on his own…he seemed to draw other famous people into his inner circle.  He had loyal fans who couldn’t get enough of his music.  Then at a certain point, his music and his videos began to take on a different feel.  Some would say that he got creative…I didn’t like the video’s to thriller.  The music was still good…but now at this point, I no longer enjoyed watching him perform on television.  I didn’t like all of the face changes or the crotch grabbing.  It didn’t mesh with my vision of the person that I thought he was.

       As the scandals broke out…I at times felt, sorry for him (if he was innocent) and angry at him that he would keep putting himself in the position of being accused if he wasn’t guilty.  I didn’t like alot of the rumors that went on in the media about some of his alleged strange behaviors…like sleeping in the bariatric chambers, or buying the bones of the so-called elephant man.  This type of rumors fueled more and more odd stories about him.  Michael himself did interviews that alluded to abuse in his family as he was growing up.  There were public feuds between family members.  Then there were spending sprees when other people in the know spoke of how heavily in debt he was becoming.

         Add into all of this his two short-lived marriages.  “His children” who came into the world allegedly thru surrogates.  Now we hear that they may go to this person…or they may go to that person now that their father is dead.  The biological mother of the two oldest children didn’t have physical custody but did retain some legal rights.  But if she doesn’t have a relationship with them…is that what is best for them?  Is it best to keep the three children together with Michael’s mother who has gained temporary custody…since she is married to the man who Michael accused of abuse all of those years ago?  Who is the mother of the youngest son, Prince Michael 2?

        Then came the facial coverings in public; hiding under umbrellas.  The shy and reclusive behaviors.  The court system, the avoidance of the courts through medical reasons.  The investigation…the taking of Neverland Ranch because of financial difficulties. 

          In the latest years…there were no performances…no records that were released.  We heard that there were some deals in the works with a Prince over in Bahrain that fell through.  Then, when it looked very dark financially…these London concerts were creating all kinds of buzz and hype as his last London performances, ever.  Little did anyone know…he would not be there to perform and share his talent with the world.   Michael was a talented dancer, singer and songwriter…and now he is gone.

          Since his death…more questions, more rumors, more innuendo…more controversy.  The double autopsies will answer the questions about his alleged drug addiction.  It will hopefully answer how Michael died.  Will it end the rumors…the legal issues, the parenting issues, the relationship issues, the religious issues?  No…i dont think so.  The thing is…when someone has a legacy this big, it almost becomes bigger than their true self.

          The sad thing is, people will continue to make money off of him, they will talk about him, they will sell his treasure, his pictures and more rumors of his life and his holdings.  In the end, all any of us can hope for is that those closest to us really know us as we really are, love us in spite of ourselves, and that we have lived up to some sembalance of a spiritual person who has given God authority over our lives and that we have lived up to our highest true inner self. 

          Sometimes I think that Michael Jackson didn’t like who he was…or he felt trapped by who he was and what he did.  I can’t imagine changing my image as often as he did…whether it was by surgeries, processes or other means…it doesn’t matter.  People who happy with who they are dont generally come across as dissatisfied as Michael did in life.  Many people have said that he was one of the most misunderstood people alive.    So, when you are remembering Michael Jackson…I wonder…who was he to you?

         I have listened to news reports that have made a mockery out of the trauma that they are going through by covering each and every mundane thing that they do together and seperately with the children.   It is unfortunate, but this happens to millions of families around the world every day; it isn’t meant for public consumption.   Lately,the media reports was all about suspected infidelity and book tours.  Now in the last week or two, “the announcement” of a life changing decision was used to build up suspense for the weekly show.  For real, people…doesn’t it feel a little like being a spectator for a disaster?  Waiting and wondering how things are going to unfold, who will come out a survivor, and then, what paths each individual will take on their journey if, this all ends badly? 

         What started out as a show of entertainment and a way to support their family has consummed them.  The publicity has to have turned into a kind of sword that now is only causing more pain.   I can’t help it, i wouldnt watch the show….not because they are not interesting, not because i have taken sides with one or the other of the couple…but, merely because I do not consider this to be entertainment…i happen to think that by watch the show we are actually becoming part of the problem and hurting them as a family.  Please, let them heal in their own way…out of the eyes of the viewers.

         Kate’s own brother and sister in law are begging people to stop watching the show out of concern for each of the family  members.  I am sorry, but Jon and Kate Plus Eight is no longer entertainment…it is a family tragedy!  There are people who love and care about what happens to each of them and this is painful to watch.    Are we going to be forced to hear in the media of divisions of their property, custody issues over the children, visitation difficulties and blending of families sometime into the future of this family when and if they decide to move on with other relationships?  Really, can’t we all just stop paying attention in this obsessive way and respect them enough to let them work out family issues in private to minimize damage to one another, the children and the friends and extended family members?    Should people watch or stop watching this show; what is your opinion?

         Another thing, when getting a tattoo…it is always wise to check out the sanitary practices of the artist and the facilities and tools that they use.  It would be horrible to have a health issue or a medical issue because of a decision to get a tattoo, without understanding all of the risks.  Parents often forbid tattoos based on the issue of health risks.

      In America, the comedian Whoopi Goldberg challenged the young woman’s claim of sleeping through the procedure on the television show, The View.  Whoopi said that she herself has a tattoo and that there is no way that someone could sleep through the painful procedure unless they were high or drunk.   I laughed when I heard Whoopi say that…because, I can’t imagine the pain of those needles while trying to sleep.    She has now admitted that she lied…although, I don’t think that too many people believed her in the first place.

       She is about 18 years old i think news reports said.  I thought as I looked at the photos of the tattoo artist’s work…it looked alot like some of the young children I have seen who have gone to a carnival/fair and have had their face painted with face paint and a stencil.   It was cute…but, i wouldn’t want to live with it for life.   I bet that the young lady wishes that the tattoos were as easy to remove as the face paint is!  Live and learn, I guess.