The National Night Out campaign strives to bring a focus on the awareness of drug & crime prevention efforts, to strengthen the collective power of neighborhood watches and the role of police and community programs to build up anti-crime programs to protect local communities.  It is high time that the criminal element recognize the fact that law abiding citizens are sick and tired of being held hostage to those who have little regard for the safety and well-being of others.

Tonight is the night that many communities will hold events to support efforts to be aware of neighborhood crimes, to report suspicious activities and to recognize the fact that individuals have the power to change negative behaviors that affect whole communities by being mor pro-active in their own local areas by helping to fight back through a partnership with law enforcement to take back the streets to make them safer for friends, neighbors and families.   If you would like to find out more about National Night Out activities…check out their site here: http://www.nationalnightout.org/nno/

My reasons for this are that while immigrants are welcomed and encouraged here in the U.S., as that’s the American way, doing it legally should be a no-brainer.  Legal immigrants are basically temporary guests until such time as they go back to their original home or apply for a U.S. citizenship.  While they are here, they have rules and regulations to follow.  Just as citizens who are born here in American.  Why should illegal immigrants who flaunt their disregard of the rules be rewarded for doing so; when many legal immigrants, who do things by the book, honor our system?  That isn’t right to reward illegals by giving them a free ride when our own citizens don’t get that same level of benefits.

The thing is, not only will they get private scholarships to go to college…but, they have to have money to live on.  How will they get food and money to pay for other necessities? So while they may get private scholarships to go to school…they must turn to the public to meet their other needs.  Already the state of California is struggling financially to meet it’s obligations to those who live there; you know, people that legally have the right to live there.  What about medical care?  What if those illegal immigrants have children while they are here? Those children will be U.S. citizens…but, then the parents have the ability to try to petition the courts to try to stay here as well.  Who picks up the tab in the meantime?  We all know the answer to that…residents of the United States who pay their taxes are stuck picking up the tab to provide for them.  It just isn’t right.

There are some individuals who think that by educating the illegals that it will help our country by causing them to pay taxes.  Yeah right, first of all, illegals don’t want to be noticed by government agencies.  They don’t want to be sent back to the countries that they came from.  Truthfully, why would they?  They can live here…find jobs that will pay them under the table, keep Uncle Sam’s portion for themselves, go to college…often have babies here in America for free, and send money back home where it is worth much more than it is here…and be doing quite well, all things considered.

I happen to think that it is outrageous that Governor Jerry Brown would slap Americans in the face by taking this action. It is what I call poor leadership that will have a negative impact on our nation.  As the head politicians, he should be enforcing the laws of his country, not creating ways around the laws of the nation.  This country is experiencing a time-bomb regarding our ceiling of debt that has the potential to paralyze our country financially; and, he dares to spread out the welcome mat to people that he feels we need to invest in.  The illegal immigrants shouldn’t be America’s obligation financially.

What are your thoughts on this matter?  Oh and before you jot down your opinion…just know that there is another bill being considered in the legislature for public scholarships to be extended to illegal immigrants in the United States as well.  That would squarely place the brunt of the cost, of sending ILLEGAL immigrants, directly onto the American taxpayer who may or may not be able to afford to send their own family members to college.  Is this fair?  Tell me what you think!

The thing is, death is permanent.  Suicide is a false solution to their problem.   Problems, even problems that seem overwhelming and beyond a person’s ability to see past it…problems come and go.  Life is full of them…big, small, and in-between problems.   There is hope…but they may need help in seeing it and believing in getting beyond what is troubling them.   However, if a person’s coping skills are influenced by depression, abuse, post traumatic stress, neglect or drug/alcohol abuse then, they may mistakenly think that suicide is a way out.

There is no way around it…destruction is close at hand when a person is to the point of thinking about suicide IF they do not seek professional help to deal with whatever is driving them to this point.  Sometimes, an individual is beyond seeking help on their own power; and a family member, friend or acquaintance is forced to intervene by contacting either a health care professional, a member of clergy or spiritual adviser, or the police in some cases to force a person to seek help.  This is not easy and the laws regarding forcing someone to seek help are different in each state.

It is a hard decision to even consider stepping in.  Most of us don’t want to be put in the position of interfering in another person’s personal life.   In fact, most people will err on the side of caution and allow desperate situations to go on too long.  Out of respect for that person’s privacy we might tip toe around the subject hoping not to offend.  I say it is better to possibly offend a person than to lose them to suicide; if you are wrong and they are not suicidal, you can always let them know that you cared enough about them to risk their upset, rather than risk losing them to suicide.

Still, I bring all of this up because recently it seems that there have been a rash of suicides.  Some of them made the news, some of them were in local communities and some of them affected people that I know.  It makes me sad because there is always a high cost when a person takes their own life; it isn’t only the person who dies who suffers either.

Suicide can affect anyone.  Shock is the most obvious reaction when someone takes their life.  The people who knew them will often say…I had no idea that they were thinking about it.  Suicide can be in the mind of your parent, child, spouse, clergy/spiritual leader, teacher, friend, an isolated elder, neighbor, a member of our military personnel…or, just about anyone who is living or breathing.  Just so you know, it doesn’t matter how much money they have, where they live or who they know…suicide can be lurking in the mind of a person who is having a difficult time in their life.

You see, friends, acquaintances, and loved ones of people who commit suicide suffer terribly in their grief.  They chase their thoughts round in round about what they missed, how they could have helped, what could have been done differently, why they still live when the person who died is gone.  Some even need counseling to deal with their emotions for a very long time.  Many even get to the point where they, too, struggle with finding joy in life because they feel guilty for having moments of joy, laughter, successes or celebrations.

The person who has died does not know this.  They no longer are capable of seeing how their death affects people who are left behind.   Even people in their community who barely knew them.  You see, we all have an impact in this life whether you realize how many lives you touch or not…every life has value.

People struggle in life…we can help those at risk of suicide by trying to be aware of what they are going through.  Most of us are not qualified to help someone through severe depression or feelings of ending it all by committing suicide…but, we can all be more aware of the signs of when someone is in trouble.  We can urge someone to seek medical/emotional/spiritual professional help.  We can be encouragers, listeners and friends.  Get the phone numbers and addresses of counselors, organizations and mental health care providers in your area.  In an emergency, call 911 if you feel someone is in danger.  You might not only save their life…but you might save an innocent bystander as well.

There was a tragic story yesterday of a woman who was involved in an alleged domestic situation where there was great emotional turmoil.  Her Aunt called the authorities after the woman called a family member and said they would all have to forgive her because she was about to do something crazy.  Her children’s father was allegedly cheating on her.  This distraught New York woman, allegedly put her four children into her vehicle and drove two minutes from her home off of a ramp into some water…killing herself and three of her children.  Her fourth child, a ten year old, managed to roll down a window and by a miracle got out of the vehicle alive.  Her very young children never had a chance.  It sounds like law enforcement was there within 17 minutes…but, it only took her two to drive into the water.   What horrible consequences to a temporary situation.

In her apparent desperation, this was her solution to the problem of a cheating spouse.  It made sense to her at the time.  To those of us outside of her situation; we can see how desperate and out of control she had to be to endanger not only herself, but her children’s life.  Whether he really was cheating or not, it doesn’t matter (well it does…but, that is between him and God); but, her belief that he was cheating triggered her suicidal and homicidal response.  This is a tragedy all the way around.

There are survivors…not only the ten year old child who will struggle to have a normal life since he survived and his siblings did not…but there are other relatives, the spouse, the neighbors, the children’s school mates, church members, community members and so on.  This kind of thing leaves a big scar.

I want to share with you information about awareness and the prevention of suicide by printing a link to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Organization.

We live in a time of great stress.  We have wars going on, natural disasters, man-made disasters, terrorism, accidents, financial losses and domestic violence…you get the idea.  Update:  Last night the news shared even more devastating news about the New York mom who drove into the Hudson River with her children in the car.  It seems that after she drove in she realized what she had done was a mistake.  Her 10 year old child said, She kept saying “I made a mistake, I made a mistake”.  This is so sad…but it does illustrate my earlier point…the person in distress doesn’t really want to die or in this case cause others to die…they just want the pain to end.

Within the first few tweets on their page, I saw tweets prompting the reader to “learn how to play poker”, to buy a specific insurance, to learn about electronic cigarettes, to team up with a beer company to buy the best T-shirts promoting beer, get a payday loans, promoting certain credit cards…etc. I understand the need to make money.  I get that churches struggle to raise funds…but, to me this smacks of leading people into financial slavery, gamboling, destructive health habits, encouraging addictions and gives a stamp of approval to activities that ought not to be encouraged.

This is a church that is “sold out” plain and simple.  If you don’t get my drift; these are paid ads that this pastor and church are condoning by putting tweets up on their page and trying to make money off of each link.  Understand, this is only my opinion; however, some of these are things that are being promoted are contrary to traditional teachings of the scriptures.

Can I tell you what I didn’t see on this Pastor’s Twitter stream?  There was no mention of God,no  Godly things, no tweeting of scripture…no building up of the spiritual nature of the readers…no encouragement to seek a relationship with God.  It upsets me…because I do believe in the power of social media to influence people; because of that, I believe that this pastor and his church are missing the mark.  Not only are they wasting the opportunity to win souls for Christ…they are in effect…leading them away from a life that is dedicated to strengthening the readers relationship with salvation and living a life of service for God.

How do you feel when you hear or see such things?  To me it feels like spiritual prostitution.  I would not want to be judged by God for erring in such a hurtful way to the Kingdom of God.  Scripture says that to those that have been given much, much is expected in return.  They have the opportunity to win souls for Christ and they had best be about the Heavenly Father’s business. It is hard to have respect for Gods values when some teachers, preachers and those in spiritual leadership make it appear as if it is ok to participate in these areas of life that God instructs us to avoid.

Do you challenge yourself to be authentic to your Christian faith online?  How do you make sure that you aren’t contrasting what you say you believe with your personal conduct and interactions online?

That show, called Two and a Half Men, has stopped production on their show for the rest of the season; since Charlie has made a public statement on interviews that disparages the producers of the show, television show creator Chuck Lorre, Alcoholic Anonymous, his ex wife, and women in general.   He says horribly vile things about Chuck Lorre and shows nothing but contempt for women, in my opinion, when he says things about women such as he has fame and those women have nothing and that all they will ever have is that night with him and that he will forget about them as soon as they leave.  He says that he is “special” and will never be one of the AA because they are a “bootleg cult”.  Seriously? 

It comes across through many of these examples that he considers himself above everyone else.  He believes that he alone cured his (in his opinion) so called disease with his own mind.  He has made recent statements to the fact that he is in control of his partying.   The truth of the matter is that he couldn’t be more wrong.  He has been in legal trouble for alleged domestic violence, he has had custody issues with his ex-wife who does try to support him in public while at the same time  tries to shield their daughters from the horror of these out of control antics that are harming him physically, emotionally, spiritually,professionally, and financially. His young sons with his second wife are very young…but they will grow up with the legacy of their father’s public displays as well.

People who work with individuals who struggle with addictions will give you all of the facts on how addicts fool themselves into thinking that they are “in control” and the rest of the world is the one with a problem.  Charlie may not live on the streets, he might not be homeless, he might not be stealing to support his habits…but he is in denial about his lifestyle choices and the effect that it is having on those who care about him (meaning his friends and family).

He has children that are growing up; and they are now, and will continue to be affected by his behavior and the choices that he makes.  He has a famous brother Emilio Estevez and then of course, there is his father Martin Sheen they have stepped up and said they continue to love him, support him and pray for him.  He has ex-wives who love him enough to try to work through their issues to maintain some sort of relationship for their children. Who can help an adult who is in a situation such as this? Can he be forced to get help through an emergency order? Is he having some sort of emotional breakdown or is he just acting out because of the damage caused by his partying?  He appears to feel all powerful and that no one has the right to tell him no, or draw a line in the sand regarding his conduct.   He has fans that he asks to support him; even though he is acting in ways that are hard to support.  He wants them to help him fight against the injustice of it all…saying that his fans are his people…not “theirs”.

In response, to the decision of his show stopping production, he slams the powers that be for stopping it…saying that they are keeping money from him, his family, and the crew of the show.   In my opinion however, if they continued to produce the show they would be irresponsible…enablers of a man who seems to be bent on self-destruction.  A week or two ago, there were articles that claimed that Charlie said that he only partied when he was bored and not working.  When he was working, he says, he was fine.   There are consequences to behaviors…and recent pictures of him show him possibly having had his teeth affected by his conduct.

Relationships suffer, professional connections become damaged and finances can become scarce because of a persons addictions.  In his case, this doesn’t just affect Charlie…he has a whole crew that is going to suffer consequences because of this situation.   A professional intervention needs to happen, because even though he says he is clean…that doesn’t mean he is stable.   I say, if he isn’t careful to get medical help, put his rehab knowledge and education to heart, and live addiction free…he is going to be bored to DEATH; and, we will be reading Charlie’s very sad obituary.

That would be a terrible waste of life; how much better to see him find his way to health and wellness and use his experience to help others in the same situation?  People who do not have fame, fortune or money deal with addictions too and the consequences are no less severe for them or their loved ones.

What are your thoughts? Do you love someone who struggles with addictions?  What have you done to survive the ups and downs?  Where did you find help?

Like those friends that you have in your Twitter or Facebook social media streams that post way too much private information online and embarrass you;  Barbie and Ken have created a bit of a public scene.  Ken took out ads on billboards trying to get Barbie back.  After a bit of to and fro online it seems Barbie could not resist the call of the plastic perfect Ken.  Uggg…do we need drama introduced to our children through their playthings?  I mean really, isn’t the real drama enough, in most children’s circle of influence through their parents, schoolmates family lives and relationships in school enough?  Do we really need to buy into some fabricated dysfunctional drama through our children’s dolls?

As much as I grew up with the make believe work of Barbie and all of her professional unrest…truly the woman just couldn’t decide what she wanted to be when she grew up!  She is like 50 right? Now she is reuniting with her main man Ken after a seven year separation where they each went their own ways supposedly?  What has Ken done as a partner in the relationship?  He is not clearly defined.  He does not have a clear role as a male role model.  What does Ken “do” for a living?  What does he have to offer a partner?  What caused him to decide that he and Barbie could resume a healthy romantic relationship after their previous failure?  Were they in counseling together?  Did they seek to work through individual issues before considering trying to rebuild their relationship?

If I am going to buy into the publicity of this reunited relationship of Ken and Barbie and encourage children to get involved…as an adult who wants stability in my children and grandchildren’s lives; I would want to see a healthy relationship develop.  Today’s families have way too much unhealthy emotional drama in their lives.  I think, the publicity on this thing went in the wrong direction.

Then again, some people don’t often demand healthy relationships of the people in their lives either. Some allow dramas to play out on our social media streams without trying to encourage people to clean up their relationships and get real help for their troubles; instead of temporarily patching things up just to keep repeating unhealthy patterns of behavior.

I, for one, won’t be encouraging this public pandering of Barbie and Ken because I don’t happen to see any socially redeeming benefits.  Have we heard about why Barbie and Ken took a vacation from their relationship only to be wooed back into a surface relationship without benefit of working through their issues?  Are they getting help from a qualified counselor to build up their relationship and repair the troubles that broke them up in the first place? No…we only see that they have decided that they miss one another and still are attracted to one another.  Not good enough.

Kids need healthy boundaries and good role models to encourage strong, healthy relationships in their own real life world.  I understand this is about advertising & marketing…but, if they want the public to go with the flow then the powers that be that came up with this Barbie and Ken drama should have followed up with more than…it is Valentine’s day and I want you back because you are hot, and you sweet talked me into it, kind of script.  Don’t we have a right to expect better from Mattel?

What do you think? Does Mattel have a responsibility to promote their products in a healthier way to children?  Baby boomers are loyal…but, most of us have achieved some semblance of maturity in how we conduct ourselves.  Don’t we have a right as consumers, who helped to build their brand, to expect a better standard of respect for our families than just a gimmicky way to promote sales of their iconic dolls to our children and grandchildren?  Let me know what you think of this controversy!

There must be an answer to help hurting hearts to understand, that what is happening to cause them pain, isn’t happening because they are a bad person, or for no apparent reason at all.  The mind and the soul just needs to make some kind of sense of it all.  Understanding tragedy is no easy task.  People have differing opinions on why bad things happen.

Some people believe that the tragedy is a punishment from God.  Others believe it is a situation that is meant to teach a life lesson to those left standing.  Others still are of the understanding that bad stuff happens for no reason at all; other than being in the wrong place, at the wrong time.  After all, why does a bad situation happen to good people?  Do Christians suffer more than non-believers?  Do non-believers suffer more than Christians? Does faith play a part in human suffering at all?

It all depends on who you talk to about the idea of suffering and faith.  Everyone has their own opinion based upon their personal experiences.  However, when someone is suffering and searching for answers, it is natural to turn to those who we are closest to for answers.

For a Christian that could be their spiritual leader, a fellow believer, friend or even a family member who is grounded in their faith.  For an unbeliever, the lack of a foundation of faith can still lead to a pathway about God.  I say that, because God will often get the blame for bad circumstances, even when a suffering person doesn’t believe in God.  Often, you will hear people say, IF there is a God, why did he let this terrible thing happen?

I  believe that is because the human soul knows for certain, deep inside that person’s mind, that God not only exists; but, he is the only one who has the answers that they seek.  A person who is committed to an unbelief in God seems to struggle more when dealing with grief or suffering, in my opinion.  I believe that is because to me, God and having a faith in eternity means having hope of moving from this life of challenges and struggles to a place called Heaven.

It is important to recognize that God can handle the unbelief, the anger, and the questions.  But for those seeking answers; it is not just about asking the questions, but more importantly, it is about getting answers.  If you ask and you seem to be going without answers; you must ask yourself the hard question; are you ready to listen, really listen and accept the answer that God has for you?

No one truly can tell you why God does what he does, why he allows the bad things to happen in life?  Only God knows all of the pieces of the puzzle that make up our life circumstances.  He alone can bring peace to your heart and mind about such things.

So how do you communicate with God.  First you must pray, ask him the question that troubles your soul.  Sometimes answers do not come immediately and that can be frustrating.  There are times when you must fast (with a dr’s approval) and pray while waiting.  Read the word of God and allow the scriptures to speak to you, words of wisdom.  Take time to meditate on the word, peacefully & quietly.  Don’t do all of the talking; listen for God’s answer.  There are times when God will use another person to speak to your heart. He will speak to you through the Bible, other people and sometimes through dreams.  He will confirm his answer to you so that you know it is of him and not just another person’s opinion or your own.

Grief at a time of loss can add to a person’s sense of suffering.  It can confuse the heart and mind of a person with anger, disbelief, anxiousness and denial.  Those things can be worked through as long as a person doesn’t get stuck in any one of those phases of grieving.  Grief is a challenging time and everyone copes with grief differently.  That is ok, as long as you ARE coping and moving forward by healing.

It has become a way of life to do what feels good at the moment and not worry about having a high standard of conduct.  Live and let live…don’t make waves…be politically correct at all times; even at the cost of what you believe to be the appropriate conduct, right?  Wrong…lowering the standards of acceptable behavior can lead to all sorts of personal problems.

You see these things not only in the adult population, but also in small children; they are the next generation in training.  Parents, teachers, clergy, employers, and those in any kind of leadership position will tell you there has been a big change in the conduct of the people of today, as compared to 10-15 years ago.  There’s a noticeable decline in respectful behavior shown towards anyone in authority. A big portion of a teachers day is spent dealing with attitudes and discipline and this affects the quality of our school aged children.  It would be unnecessary if everyone worked together to raise the standards of acceptable behavior and personal conduct.

Many people’s work ethic has gone downhill…there is a sense of entitlement that many people have that excludes them, in their own minds, from having responsibility or expectations put on them.  They appear to think it is easier to just be passive and non-responsive…or fail to perform to their fullest capabilities.  This is really not acceptable if they are to have a fullness in life.  It tends to leave a person dissatisfied about where they are and feeling badly about themselves and others who are in authority over them.  Creating interpersonal problems in the work force and at home should they lose their jobs.

If you as a customer, of a business, feel that you have been treated unfairly…don’t merely tuck your tail and walk out unhappy and allow such treatment.  Stand up for what you believe to be correct.  You don’t have to be rude, violent, or disrespectful…but very simply say what you think is out of line and ask what they can do to correct the situation. Hold someone accountable for their attitude towards others.

You will be surprised at the response.  Some will be shocked that you said anything at all.  Others will be quick to try to make excuses…and try to get you to go away quickly, without trying to correct the situation.  However, if you respectfully try to resolve this problem and get no response…ask to speak to someone with more authority.  Explain that you feel that their standard of conduct was not appropriate.

If you happen to be a business owner…remember to conduct yourself in a way which speaks of your own high standard of behavior.  This is in public and in private.  It is hard to make a living; and people often look for ways to cut corners, eliminating extra financial demands.  Don’t lower your standards in the quality of people who you hire, the products you sell, the way that you go about marketing or advertising them, or even in the place where you conduct your business.  If you raise the standards, your customers will notice.  They will respond in a positive manner; they will come to recognize you as someone over and above the rest.  You will set yourself above the crowd, and raise the bar so that your competitors will respond to that; when they see that your customers are respecting how you conduct yourself and that it translates to better business practices.

Teachers, parents, employers, spiritual leaders, and law enforcement personnel must raise the standard of expected and acceptable behaviors.  Consequences are a big part of this equation.  When someone fails to meet acceptable levels of behavior then there must be consequences either as a natural consequence or as a teaching tool.

Let failure be a learning experience and a natural part of life.  Don’t rush to fix things or make it better and don’t make excuses of why that person isn’t performing up to par.  That is not to say that you can’t have compassion or sympathy and adjust to a situation…but, don’t do it automatically…giving that person an out or a pass.  Use good judgment in how you deal with people.  Not only holding others accountable but being accountable yourself in all areas of your life.

I find it ironic, when you hear someone holding another person or business to a higher standard than that with which they conduct themselves.  How do they justify that?  It is as the old saying goes…we judge others by their behavior; but, we judge ourselves by our intentions.  Meaning that we know what we were thinking when we behaved the way that we did; and, give ourselves permission to lower the bar on our own personal conduct.  That is not fair, nor is it acceptable.  I challenge you to raise the standards … and ask you to challenge others in your life to do the same.  Is it possible to change our culture by doing these things?  How do you envision your circle of influence reacting to this kind of expectation?

Players are standing in long lines to purchase their tickets.  Even the “odds of winning” aren’t a deterrent to the most loyal of players…the 1 in 176 millionth of a chance of winning.  Really?  I wonder how someone convinces themselves that THEY are the one who WILL win the jackpot with those kind of odds.  It really is gambling to spend money in the HOPES of taking the jackpot.

Although, there are those who spend serious money to try to even up the odds of winning to their benefit; by purchasing more than one ticket.  Still, when you stop and think about it…doesn’t it really mean when they lose that they will just take a harder hit than the person to spends the bare minimum to purchase one chance to win?

I don’t play the lottery.  First of all, people with my kind of luck just don’t win these things.  Second of all, you hear about some of the winners of these huge lotteries who turn around and say, within a short period of time, I wish that I would have just torn up that ticket at the very beginning.   That is not a high recommendation for praying for “good luck” when playing the lottery.

Those people have either lost their winnings, had the funds mis-managed, or been hit up with one kind of disaster after another, once they did win.  Not to mention, because of winning the lottery; they were subjected to people coming out of the woodwork trying to get a portion of the money; thereby jeopardizing their relationships with many of the people in their lives and their communities.  One of the winners I remember reading about lost a granddaughter to death, was sued by multiple people; and, seemed to have gained more problems than anyone would ever think possible.   Often criminal, emotional, marital, or legal problems persist for winners of lotteries.   Others become addicted to gambling or other high risk behaviors.  For those who believe that winning will solve all of their problems in life; disappointment and disillusionment become a way of life.

Those issues are not an endorsement for wanting to win, right?

Winners are often told that 25% of the winnings go to the federal government.  Forty one states are in on this particular jackpot…and of course, the states will have their own taxes that must be deducted from the winner’s take.  It is highly recommended for people who are not already well blessed with finances and well versed in the world of high finance to seek out and (pay for) financial counselors, lawyers, accountants and investment bankers to advise them.  (There would go another substantial amount of the winnings).   I’ve always been taught that gambling is wrong…sinful, leads to all kinds of trouble.

It would be just my bad luck; if I violated what I’ve always been taught…I would WIN and suffer unbearably!  

Those are all reasons why I am not buying a ticket.  Even though it is tempting to think that all of a person’s financial problems could be wiped away in one moment…I won’t buy a ticket.  I mean, geez; if you won that kind of money, you would always be worrying about losing it somehow.  If you’ve never had it, you don’t have to worry about losing it, right?   > So, it’s official; I’ve decided that no way am I going to risk winning the Mega Millions Lottery Jackpot this evening.  LoL   How about you, are you going to risk it?

       It seems that times are tough financially, both for the man & the woman, and the ex-wife feels the need to move over 1,000 miles away to the state of Florida where she will live with her family to make ends meet.    They are about to lose their home.  There is not enough money to live on.  So she is making a plan that she feels is a good one.  But her children are young, ages 6 & 9.  I can’t help but wonder, don’t the children need more interaction, than 3 hours a week, with their father…ONLINE?

        Some people would say, well…why doesn’t the father move to Florida as well?  It seems he just had cancer surgery.  And in my opinion, if neither the mother, nor the father, is financially stable…how is it that either of them will find the finances to get set up to communicate digitally if they don’t already have the equipment or the software.  That all costs money. 

         Can a parent meet the emotional needs of their children stictly by being online at the same time?  Is it enough interaction to chat with your children?  Is the Skype program going to replace physical hugs, going places together, putting them to bed at night, joining them in their after-school activities?  Nothing against Skype but, it lacks the physical component of parenting in my opinion.  I can’t imagine a mother or a father thinking that this kind of visitation is “enough” in a long term situation. 

       Are the co-parenting responsibilities and priviledges going to be able to be satisfactory?  Will one parent end up with more of one and less of the other?   Will the children feel abandoned or cheated?  I wonder if there will be enough of an opportunity for natural bonding to be maintained in this type of arrangement.

         Was there NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE than moving so far from the children’s father?  No other affordable place to live in NY?  No other job that would increase the family’s financial situation?  Maybe we weren’t told all of the pertinent information regarding the situation that the family is facing.  Still, I wonder for any parent; father or mother, is digital visitation enough when it comes to parenting your children?   What do you think?