I know that some people celebrate Christmas without having any religious meaning to it…but honestly, why?  They could just as easily have get-togethers with friends and family without having to go through the motions of celebrating Christmas, right?   For me, my friends and most of my family; we choose to go deep into the meaning of Christmas.

I understand the biblical story can seem fantastical to an unbeliever.  A virgin girl gives birth to the son of God so that he can live among his people teaching them of the ways of God and to eventually sacrifice his life so that those who believe in him can live for eternity in Heaven with God the Father.   It is an amazing way to impact people.  It is extraordinary!  How else should the son of God be viewed except as an extraordinary person?

Put yourself into the position of young Mary the mother of baby Jesus.  She herself was a young girl who had known no man physically.  When the angel of the Lord came to her and told her of this miraculous plan; Mary had to have been shocked and fearful.  After all, even today being a young pregnant woman who is unmarried is no easy task.  Imagine even more so in the time in which Mary lived when a young woman could be not only socially destroyed by a pregnancy while unmarried…she could also be stoned to death for her sin.  This was the way of the world during the time that Mary lived.

Can you imagine her thoughts?  Not only that, but she was betrothed to Joseph.  Would he still accept her as his wife to be once it became noticeable that she was pregnant?  Did she tremble with the knowledge that the angel shared with her?  What about her family would they still love her, stand by her… or would they think her a liar and condemn her to the punishment that was sure to come her way?

God in his wisdom prepared Joseph by letting him know that his was his plan for Joseph and Mary.  He told Joseph that the child Mary carried was the Messiah that had been foretold of in scripture.  He told Joseph what to do when the time was right.  Joseph had to have struggled with his own thoughts of doubt, insecurities and fear.  Was he good enough, strong enough and faithful enough to support Mary in public and raise the child of God?  After all, he was about to become an adoptive father, a step father in effect.  How intimidating is all of that?  What about all that whispering of rumors that would happen when people would believe that he and Mary had just had sex and got caught…so maybe, just maybe, they came up with this fantastical story to cover their tracks?

I mean really, people are still the same today as back then when it comes to talking behind peoples backs, right? Joseph could have accused her in public of cheating on him, he could have shamed her; he could have walked away or “divorced” her severing their betrothal to one another.  He could have doubted his own worthiness to fulfill the role that God had chosen him to serve by protecting Mary, being the father figure on earth and by instilling all of the values that God in Heaven wanted his son Jesus to have while he grew into the man that God wanted him to be.

Courage is what it took for Joseph and Mary to accept God’s plan for their lives and for the life of baby Jesus who WOULD grow into the man who would die to save the world from their sins; if only they would believe.  Obedience is what was required.  Faith is what it took to make it happen.

The human side of the story is one in which I suspect most of us can most relate to.  The fears, the doubt, the questions… the awe when God’s plan was fulfilled.  As they planned and prepared for the birth of Jesus…imagine their surprise when he was born in a lowly stable (barn).  He was to be the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords…the son of God.  How could it be that he was to come into the world in such a common way?  There was no room at the inn as Joseph and Mary traveled…the stable was the best that Joseph could come up with at the moment of the onset of Mary’s labor.

Once the baby was born and God sent worshipers to him from around the world…don’t ya think that all were amazed?  I can only imagine it.  I mean…any other mother looks to prepare her nest.  Get things clean, prepared and just so.  I am sure that Mary was no different.  She was getting ready to welcome the baby who would be called Jesus.   Those who came to see the child were welcoming the baby.  The animals in the stable were privileged to see and greet the son of God.  The chosen human parents were welcoming the baby gratefully the he arrived safely.  There was joy.  There was celebration.

Today we should be no less filled with joy or celebration.  Yes it happened a long time ago.  But, just knowing that it happened and how it affects us all; we should still be welcoming the baby in our lives.  It should not just be at Christmas time either.  Jesus is a gift to us all; from God, so that we can have eternal life and not spend eternity in hell because of our sins.  If we believe in Jesus as the son of God, claim him as our own, live our lives under the guidelines and rules in the Bible… do our best to serve God in all that we do, say, think and feel; then, we will truly be welcoming the baby Jesus in the way that God intended.

How does that translate into a world that barely acknowledges God let alone his son?  We must do our best to include him daily.  Be the person that God has created you to  be.  Live your best life by doing what is right, striving to be holy, praying,  reading the Bible…affecting the people around you in a positive way.

This Christmas, how do you intend to celebrate the birth of Christ?  Do you include honoring as the main goal of your holiday celebrations?  Do you have traditions that show why you give gifts, prepare a feast of food, invite visitors and have a party in general?  Tell us about your Christmas celebrations…we’d love to hear from you.

       After all, men and women have fought and died for the privelege that we all enjoy of living free from the will of others being forced upon us regardless of their own values and beliefs.   We don’t thank our military men and women enough for that and we should.  

        Our own country’s Declaration of Independence was based on the idea and principals of freedom.  Without that document as the basis of our country, we would still be forced to accept another country’s authority of what we could and could not do as individuals, in America.  Human beings still value freedom today, as much as during the formation of the United States of America; we just don’t always talk about what that means in our everyday lives. 

        Relationships are often broken or strengthened on the basis of the people’s concept of the boundaries and limitations of freedom in their relationship.  It does not matter whether that relationship is romantic in nature or whether the relationship is based on friendship, or is a family relationship such as parent to child or, even a working relationship with a co-worker  or a boss. 

         Freedom and it’s limitations are important.  If you think I am wrong consider this… if a couple has differing views on what kind of freedoms are going to be allowed in the relationships regarding physical relations, financial spending or saving, discipline issues with regard to raising children…or even freedom to pursue a chosen career…how does one compromise the limits of such freedoms without compromising or destroying one person or the other’s sense of what is acceptable?   They must consider the other person’s feelings regarding freedom as being equally important as their own and be willing to find an acceptable solution to both parties.  This is not easy…because everyone wants what they want and they want it their own way, if given a choice.

        A child who wants freedom, to do what they want at age two, will try to determine the outcome of how much freedom he or she has by acting out behaviorally.  It is the same with a teenager who is experiencing conflict between what they consider acceptable limits to their freedom as far as the use of the phone/computer/video games/ romantic relationships or even curfew.  When they don’t feel “heard” or at least met half way by a parental authority figure…often teens will rebel; sometimes even risk leaving home and damaging their relationship with parents or their siblings, over their own idea of how much freedom they should be allowed.

        Another population of people who understand the value of freedom is someone who is incarcerated or imprisoned.  The basic freedom of coming or going from place to place is something that most people enjoy and take for granted.  However, a person who is being punished criminally or in a war situation may experience a severe form of limitation of their freedoms.  They are not allowed to come and go freely.  They eats, sleep, work and interact only when they are allowed to do so.  This is meant to be a deterrent to commiting crime against societies.  It works for some, but truthfully, most people do not know how much they value these basic freedoms until it is taken away from them.  It is frightening to lack control over every aspect of your daily life.  Most people will be persuaded to live a life free of crime to avoid loosing their freedom.

        In general, the trick to having freedom that works is balancing freedom with responsibility and having a mutual respect for those with which the conflict is occuring.  Freedom to make one’s own choices is never free…it comes with a cost.  People who offer freedom to another person (from those in whom they are in disagreement with) WILL have strings attached or ulterior motives; even if they aren’t evident at the beginning. 

          We each must earn our own way in the freedom department…but, ultimately, the rights we enjoy as individuals are fought and won in battle through our military men and women who’ve paid a high costs; our court systems  and through legal challenges; and, in our own personal relationships through our communication with others of our needs and expectations; and our willingness to consider the rights and freedoms of those around us as being important as well. 

         The thing about freedom is also that the person who is expecting it, demanding it  needs to consider whether the freedom that they are wanting and seeking is worth the cost.  It must be weighed in each circumstance and if meeting in the middle or compromising can’t be done without one or both people feeling like they have given up too much…then relationships can be damaged.  It doesn’t matter how those relationships come into being…everyone wants to be valued and considered worthy of having equal say in how they conduct their lives.  It is human nature.

French Vanilla Triple Berry Holiday Pie 

Ok, if you are short on time or don’t like making pie dough…purchase the Pillsbury frozen roll out dough.  Fill your pie plates (you’ll need two) with the dough and using a fork…randomly poke holes all around the walls of the pie shells and along the bottom of the crusts.  Then bake at 350 until the shell is lightly golden brown.  Cool the shell and set aside.

In a large bowl whip a quart of French Vanilla Ice Cream until it is semi-soft and creamy.  Pour half of the mixture into each pie plate.  Put it in the freezer while you work with the toppings.

Rinse out your bowl that you mixed the ice cream in so that you can reuse it for the triple berry topping.  You will need one can of cranberries (use either the jellied or the whole berries, whatever you prefer).   Add one and a half cups  of frozen blueberries and one and a half cups of blackberries or red raspberries, thawed.  Mix with the mixer until all of the berries are blended together.  Let the berries meld their flavor together for about 20 minutes and then spread over the top of the french vanilla ice cream in the pie shells right before serving.

It is wise to let the ice cream pies soften a bit before cutting and serving to your guests.  You can garnish your pie with dollops of whipped cream.  This makes a pretty pie to serve and a tasty addition to your holiday meal.

Ingredients Needed

2 frozen roll up pie crusts such as Pillsbury brand

1 can of cranberry sauce (either jellied or whole berries-your preference)

1 quart of french vanilla ice cream

1 tub or can of spray whipped cream

1  1/2 cups of blueberries

1  1/2 cups of raspberries/or blackberries again your preference

If you would like more ideas about pie recipes for the holiday and even a pie party giveaway…check this site out: Tidy Mom

           We usually do something different with our kids and have a fall harvest celebration.  If the weather is decent we will have a campfire and maybe we do something like put up a pinata with a minimum of candy to tickle their fancy; but, not enough to be obscene about how much candy they end up consuming.   It is a good idea to have some games planned and invite their friends.  Be prepared for loud and boisterous fun…but that is ok…they are supposed to be having a good time.

          My  main concern about this time of year  is safety and spiritual well-being.  Some Halloween revelers take things to a level glorifying evil and gore.    I don’t like all of the gore, the frightening costumes, the evil that seems to be celebrated by some.  Most of all, i don’t like how vulnerable the kids are to violence, to kidnapping, or to many of the other dangers that go along with the so called “holiday”.   I think it is a good time to remind parents to keep your kids close…minimize the danger that they are exposed to. 

       When it comes to costumes…make sure that they have some kind of reflective quality so that they can be seen in the low lighting conditions.  Have them carry a lighting device or a glow stick.  Go over reminders of safe street crossings and appropriate approaches to people’s homes and property.  There are some people who do not watch out for little ones crossing streets and sidewalks.  Then there are those who don’t appreciate kids and teens prancing across their lawns “begging for candy”. 

        Every year we hear of parties that have gone wrong and someone is killed or injured in a fight or in a case of over-reaction to a misunderstanding.  We hear about kids who go about doing destructive pranks and then their are the occasional people with emotional/anger/substance abuse issues who react violently.  We hear about teens horsing around and accidents happening where another in the crowd is injured or killed because things get out of control.  There are incidents of bullying or gang activity.  There are rapes…and kidnappings; children become lost or missing in communities; they are at risk for predators at this time of year especially when it is acceptable to be walking the streets with masks on and in disquise.  Large cities often have issues with “devil’s night” fires and looting. These things can be minimized if parents take steps to insure that they know where their kids are and what they are doing…as well as who they are with.

         It is wise to go out with your children if you are going to allow them to go trick or treating.   Don’t let them out of your site.  You really don’t know who to trust and who your child/teen will be meeting up with.  It seems weekly that there are reports of missing and or exploited children…noone wants their child to be one of them.  We have heard too any news stories recently about children who have been violated or murdered to just let them go off and wish them a good time.  Parenting responsibilities don’t end just because your kids may be able to go off with a crowd.  

        Even teens…God bless them can get caught up in situations that either are not in their best interest or that can endanger them.   Your teens probably won’t verbalize their appreciation if you take a protective stance about their activities…however, no one ever promised that parenting would win you any popularity contest, now did they?   Create an alternative environment for them to get together with their friends; but, still be supervised and protected.   Law enforcement officers will appreciate the help because they can’t be everywhere at once. 

         I think it is no co-incidence that this past 4th of July was also the day that Lady Liberty’s crown was open once again to tourists for the first time since 9/11.   The video also expressed phrases such as “Death to America” as well as, “We don’t want your freedom”.    Now in America we do have the right to say what we think or feel; however, if this is more than that…such as a real and true attempt to create terror in the hearts and minds of Americans…those who are responsible will be caught and they will be punnished.

         There is a reward being offered for the return of the statue.  After all, it is stolen property.  An investigation is being done to find those who posted the video.  After the last few years, I don’t know why anyone would want to pull a prank that is this insensitive to those who have experienced true terrorism; and, if this is actual terrorism, whether it is foreign or domestic terrorism…it will be taken seriously.    There are serious consequences for these kinds of things because they can truly inflame hatred around the world!

         The pastor, David Jones and his wife Mary, were allegedly told that they were conducting an unlawful use of land as they were having a religious assembly that was a violation of code.  They were told to stop violating the code or to apply for a major use permit.  This permit can cost many thousands of dollars; of course it would allow for them to continue having their small group of 15 friends or less over to study the bible.  Remember, this was in their own home.

           Is this code, that the pastor and his wife were allegedly violating, enforced when someone has a baby shower in their home with more than 15 guests?  Or when people gather together with friends to watch the Super Bowl or American Idol?  Will those people be forced to obtain a major use permit? 

        What about you; where you live could this happen to you?  Should government officials be allowed to ban such gatherings in regards to religious freedom, in private residences,, unless people pay them large sums of money?   What are your thoughts?

        To all the sons and daughters in the armed forces (military) who have fought and defended our country’s honor, freedom and way of life…we say thank you; we can never thank you enough for your sacrifice.  To those who made it possible to look upon the visage of Lady Liberty and to take pride in her message; we also are grateful.   To those who have worked to give money to her restoration and those who have labored and done the work…we appreciate you.  We must take good care of our symbol of independence and freedom, we must protect her from the elements and from all things which seek to destroy her message.   In this way we can continue to inspire and impact the lives of others around the world.

          Once again, Lady Liberty will be making a statement just by standing her ground and welcoming those who come to her.  Of course, they are making some adjustments to the way things are handled regarding visitors; but that is ok.  She will be open!   People can once again begin to travel to the place where so many of our families were greeted when they came to this country to begin life anew with hope and expectation of a long, healthy and prosperous life as an American.  The visitors will see the view of the shore from Lady Liberty’s crown. 

            There is such a rich history relating to the Statue of Liberty and how she came to represent freedom to those who traveled to the United States.   The gift that was made of her to our country from the people of France; to the comfort that she brings to the hearts of those who have come here from around the world…Miss Liberty speaks volumes about all who have been oppressed and have since broken free from their oppressors.  She is a marvel to look at and a reminder that we must always remember to lift up those who have not known such freedom in their lives.

         Extortion is usually about money; whatever the plan was…it is happening at a terrible time.   The family is still grieving the loss of their son Jett.   Some people seem to take joy in other people’s pain.  The Bahamas is a beautiful place to visit…but it is turning into a place associated with celebrities and their nightmares.  This could have a major impact on travelors or tourism if this investigation is not properly handled.  That would make me sad as it is one of the most beautiful places i have ever traveled to.

        It sounds as if  the Pardo’s marriage was one of deceipt.  Mr. Pardo had not disclosed to his wife that he had a child from a previous relationship that he did not see, nor did he help support.  It seems that when this child was a toddler in Mr. Pardo’s care; the child ended up in a pool and almost drowned.  The young child is now around the age of 7 ; but, Bruce Pardo kept this child a secret from his wife.  She discovered that the child existed by going through tax papers and finding out that he claimed the child as a dependent.  He denied the situation and Sylvia called her mother in law who confirmed that a child did in fact exist and was disabled.   She filed for divorce…he did not want it.

       It seems that during this time…Bruce also lost his job and then was ordered, by the court, to pay support to his soon to be ex-wife.  By all appearances…Bruce did his best to follow through on the court’s dissolution of his marriage….yet, all along he planned his revenge on the woman who divorced him and those who were closest to her and helped her to leave him. 

        Bruce rented two vehicles and he had things planned out.  He had an extra large Santa suit made up for him.  It seems that at the annual party, Santa always showed up.  He went to the home with a gift in his hand…when the door was opened by a young 8 year old girl…he opened fire, shooting her in the face.  He then went about shooting and looking for specific people.  After he shot the people he went looking for…he then used a homemade device to set the home on fire; inadvertantly causing himself 3rd degree burns when part of the Santa suit melted into his skin from the incendiary device he used to start the fire.

         People in the home had tried to hide and some were able to flee.  A sister of Sylvia’s escaped to a neighbors with the young 8 year old girl who was shot in the face.  She was able to call 911.  After starting the fire, Bruce Pardo shot out street lights…allegedly to help further his escape. 

         People are speculating that he had plans to shoot his own mother who was planning on attending the Christmas party, at her ex-daughter in laws parents home.  She felt ill that evening and was not able to attend.  Bruce blamed his mother for siding with Sylvia in the divorce.    Also allegedly a possible victim of violence was the divorce lawyer who represented Sylvia.  One of the rental vehicles was sitting near the lawyers home. 

        It appears that Bruce changed his plans after he was burned.  It is thought that he was in great pain.  He allegedly had purchased a plane ticket for Illinois to go there and cross the state line into Iowa to see a friend.  He also had about 17,ooo.oo dollars plastic wrapped to his body.   Instead of implementing those plans…he drove approximately 30-40 miles to his brothers home and broke in and shot himself dead.

         What is hard to understand is; didn’t anyone who knew him or had occasion to spend time with him, during the weeks preceding the violence, see his mental breakdown?  Was he so good at hiding his wrath that he was able to misleed the people in his life?  Or did he isolate himself a this time?

         Those familiar with the divorce situation say that he seemed almost eager to have it over with.  The neighbors say that he was friendly and even wished them a Merry Christmas after telling them he was attending a Christmas party. 

          People who knew him said he was a friendly guy.  They are shocked.  And yet, a close friend of Sylvia allegedly said that Sylvia said he changed almost immediately after the marriage.  He became secretive.  Others say that Bruce had a secret guilt about the child that was gravely injured on his watch.  The mother of the child allegedly says that he was involved when the child was in the hospital; but then…he didn’t visit nor did he support the child.  In fact, he kept the child a secret from many…including his new wife.

         The thing is…people who struggle with mental health issues dont always get the help that they need.  Bruce Pardo needed that kind of help to cope with the feelings that he had from the tragedy that happened to his child.  He needed support and counseling to heal up from the guilt that he most likely felt after the child was injured.  He needed to have pre-marital counseling to help him break the news of this part of his life to his intended wife. 

          Sylvia needed a husband who could share this past with her.  She needed him to seek marriage counseling when their marriage appeared to flounder shortly after it began.  She needed some indication that the man she married was deeply disturbed and capable of such violence.  She needed protection from the man that she fell in love with. 

          Experts will tell you that people who are in a state of flux…or life changes are often the most vulnerable for domestic violence.  This is a dangerous time when emotions are raw and assets or custody rights are at stake.  Passions are running high.  It should almost  be mandatory to have to have some sort of counseling to help people through the maze of emotion and legal wrangling that takes place.

          I can’t help but to think of those that lost their lives and those who were left behind to deal with the aftermath.  God help them.  The things that they saw and heard will live with them for a very long time.  And what about those who weren’t there; but, were directly affected such as Bruce Pardo’s mother or his brother.  What about them?  People need to pray for all of them.  They are not responsible for his actions…and yet, they are directly affected by them as much as Sylvia’s family and friends.  His brother…can you imagine…how will he ever be able to go back into his home?  He has to wonder…why did his brother come there to commit suicide?   His mother…she was obviously friendly with Sylvia and her family; how will she relate to the surviving members?  They are all hurting…will they be able to help support one another or will it be too painful for them to see each other?

          So many questions and so few answers.  The thing is…unfortunately…people who are depressed or going through trauma often don’t think past the moment, about the long term effects of their actions.  It is the survivors that are left to cope with both the questions and the answers.

         Why, for goodness sake…this holiday saboteur may even be a member of  your own family!  Egads…what are you going to do?   Uninvite them immediately…move out of state…get divorced so you don’t have to deal with them anymore?  Surely, you aren’t going to take it that far to avoid the holiday saboteur?

           Assure me that you aren’t going to let them do it this year; don’t let them steal your joy.  Not at the office, not at the local gas station, not in the llllllllllloooooonggg line in the post office, not on the highway…not on the subway, not at the Christmas/New Year’s eve party………most certainly tell me that you aren’t going to let them get to you when you visit them….and definately, don’t let them bring you down in your own home!  Why, that is your happy, safe place…or it should be.

          Instead, might i suggest a little something- something to change it up a bit?  Why not, throw them off balance with a holiday super charged, joyful, in your face celebration? 

          Maybe they will do one of two things…perhaps they will get so shocked by such a display of holiday cheer that they will come over to the dark side and actually CELEBRATE; or, they will get totally annoyed at the lack of indulgence of their perpetually bad behavior; they will get up and leave, when no-one feeds the flames of discontent by politely listening to their moody, morose …angry and controlling ways! 

          Either way…you are free to have a happy holiday get-together any way you choose to celebrate it!  Unless the holiday saboteur lives inside of you….egads…I hadn’t even thought of that…did you?