He’s stated that he has not met them in real life.  His credibility is being called into question because of the lies he initially told regarding the scandal.  His judgment is part of that controversy in regards to his career. Many people are wondering whether someone who would lie to his constituents, his family, his friends, and the media could do his job with honesty and integrity.

Anthony says that he admitted to his wife of 11 months, before they got married, of his inappropriate online relationships that took place before his marriage; but it appears, that she was not aware of his recent interactions.  His wife, Huma Abedin works for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.  Media reports say she is consulting with the Clintons about how to save Anthony’s job in the shadow of the scandal.

Questions abound in our world about the role that social media plays in the lives of everyday people and people who are famous, public figures, or people in roles of leadership.  How people conduct themselves online has a direct affect on their work, their reputations and in their relationships both online and off.

Whether Mr. Weiner is able to retain his position as a lawmaker will depend on what information is garnered through the ethics investigation that Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi has asked for.  If he has violated the rules of conduct or has used government resources in these circumstances…he could lose his standing among his fellow lawmakers not to mention other repercussions if any laws were broken.  His marital relationship has to be addressed as well; counseling would probably be advised for the best possible outcome, if they wish to heal the damage.  The pressure has to be tremendous as many people are calling for him to resign; which at this point, he has refused to do.  One would hope that in his quest to save his job, that he doesn’t sweep the issues under the rug that allowed him to make choices that were so potentially detrimental to his well-being.

It is human nature to try to avoid consequences when we screw up…however, the responsibility of a person in the position that he holds requires that he hold himself to a higher standard than most.  I am sure that he wishes he could go back and undo what he says he has done regarding posting those pictures and writing allegedly sexually charged exchanges with those women.  His actions supposedly goes back a few years…so this is not new behavior.  Yet, it was unchecked because he has continued to reach out through digital means & through the phone to women who are not his spouse to interact with racy exchanges.  It is said that these types of relationships can become addictive.  We know that they can be destructive.  It will take a lot of work to regain trust and respect of those people in his life that he had those things from, before this behavior came to light.

The whole situation goes beyond Democrat/Republican politics…because it doesn’t matter what a person’s political stance…this issue is a human issue.  I hope it doesn’t get turned into that kind of a discussion…because outside of his particular offense… both political parties struggle with individuals who have made serious mistakes in their behavior regarding sexual boundaries and values.  Immoral behavior is immoral behavior…no matter what party you belong to; in my opinion.

In any case, Anthony Weiner will have to show true remorse and take steps to correct the mind-set that allowed him to place himself in such a position as to lose ground as a lawmaker, and as a new husband.  In America we do believe in second chances and the opportunity to turn your life around…whether he will deserve that opportunity to go back and restore his reputation will depend on what they find out from the investigation, how he handles that information; and, whether he reforms how he conducts himself in the future.

Trust, dependability, integrity, honesty = a person’s reputation…the value of those attributes are immeasurable.  A person’s name and reputation is important.  There were so many plays on Anthony Weiner’s name in the last few days in the news headlines…but, truthfully, all that kept running through my mind was a little advertising commercial jingle that Oscar Mayer had on television, years ago, as I grew up.

IF I remember right, it goes like this.  “oh I wish I was an Oscar Mayer wiener, that is what I truly want to be; cause, If I was an Oscar Mayer wiener, everyone would be in love with me”.   Right about now, I would imagine that Anthony Weiner wishes his first name was Oscar, so that he too could have the love and support of all the American people, much like the kind of relationship the company Oscar Mayer has been able to forge over the years with the public.  Then again, to the best of my knowledge, that company has never been involved in any kind of scandalous behavior…

What is your opinion on the situation with Anthony Weiner…should he remain in office?

The thing is, death is permanent.  Suicide is a false solution to their problem.   Problems, even problems that seem overwhelming and beyond a person’s ability to see past it…problems come and go.  Life is full of them…big, small, and in-between problems.   There is hope…but they may need help in seeing it and believing in getting beyond what is troubling them.   However, if a person’s coping skills are influenced by depression, abuse, post traumatic stress, neglect or drug/alcohol abuse then, they may mistakenly think that suicide is a way out.

There is no way around it…destruction is close at hand when a person is to the point of thinking about suicide IF they do not seek professional help to deal with whatever is driving them to this point.  Sometimes, an individual is beyond seeking help on their own power; and a family member, friend or acquaintance is forced to intervene by contacting either a health care professional, a member of clergy or spiritual adviser, or the police in some cases to force a person to seek help.  This is not easy and the laws regarding forcing someone to seek help are different in each state.

It is a hard decision to even consider stepping in.  Most of us don’t want to be put in the position of interfering in another person’s personal life.   In fact, most people will err on the side of caution and allow desperate situations to go on too long.  Out of respect for that person’s privacy we might tip toe around the subject hoping not to offend.  I say it is better to possibly offend a person than to lose them to suicide; if you are wrong and they are not suicidal, you can always let them know that you cared enough about them to risk their upset, rather than risk losing them to suicide.

Still, I bring all of this up because recently it seems that there have been a rash of suicides.  Some of them made the news, some of them were in local communities and some of them affected people that I know.  It makes me sad because there is always a high cost when a person takes their own life; it isn’t only the person who dies who suffers either.

Suicide can affect anyone.  Shock is the most obvious reaction when someone takes their life.  The people who knew them will often say…I had no idea that they were thinking about it.  Suicide can be in the mind of your parent, child, spouse, clergy/spiritual leader, teacher, friend, an isolated elder, neighbor, a member of our military personnel…or, just about anyone who is living or breathing.  Just so you know, it doesn’t matter how much money they have, where they live or who they know…suicide can be lurking in the mind of a person who is having a difficult time in their life.

You see, friends, acquaintances, and loved ones of people who commit suicide suffer terribly in their grief.  They chase their thoughts round in round about what they missed, how they could have helped, what could have been done differently, why they still live when the person who died is gone.  Some even need counseling to deal with their emotions for a very long time.  Many even get to the point where they, too, struggle with finding joy in life because they feel guilty for having moments of joy, laughter, successes or celebrations.

The person who has died does not know this.  They no longer are capable of seeing how their death affects people who are left behind.   Even people in their community who barely knew them.  You see, we all have an impact in this life whether you realize how many lives you touch or not…every life has value.

People struggle in life…we can help those at risk of suicide by trying to be aware of what they are going through.  Most of us are not qualified to help someone through severe depression or feelings of ending it all by committing suicide…but, we can all be more aware of the signs of when someone is in trouble.  We can urge someone to seek medical/emotional/spiritual professional help.  We can be encouragers, listeners and friends.  Get the phone numbers and addresses of counselors, organizations and mental health care providers in your area.  In an emergency, call 911 if you feel someone is in danger.  You might not only save their life…but you might save an innocent bystander as well.

There was a tragic story yesterday of a woman who was involved in an alleged domestic situation where there was great emotional turmoil.  Her Aunt called the authorities after the woman called a family member and said they would all have to forgive her because she was about to do something crazy.  Her children’s father was allegedly cheating on her.  This distraught New York woman, allegedly put her four children into her vehicle and drove two minutes from her home off of a ramp into some water…killing herself and three of her children.  Her fourth child, a ten year old, managed to roll down a window and by a miracle got out of the vehicle alive.  Her very young children never had a chance.  It sounds like law enforcement was there within 17 minutes…but, it only took her two to drive into the water.   What horrible consequences to a temporary situation.

In her apparent desperation, this was her solution to the problem of a cheating spouse.  It made sense to her at the time.  To those of us outside of her situation; we can see how desperate and out of control she had to be to endanger not only herself, but her children’s life.  Whether he really was cheating or not, it doesn’t matter (well it does…but, that is between him and God); but, her belief that he was cheating triggered her suicidal and homicidal response.  This is a tragedy all the way around.

There are survivors…not only the ten year old child who will struggle to have a normal life since he survived and his siblings did not…but there are other relatives, the spouse, the neighbors, the children’s school mates, church members, community members and so on.  This kind of thing leaves a big scar.

I want to share with you information about awareness and the prevention of suicide by printing a link to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Organization.

We live in a time of great stress.  We have wars going on, natural disasters, man-made disasters, terrorism, accidents, financial losses and domestic violence…you get the idea.  Update:  Last night the news shared even more devastating news about the New York mom who drove into the Hudson River with her children in the car.  It seems that after she drove in she realized what she had done was a mistake.  Her 10 year old child said, She kept saying “I made a mistake, I made a mistake”.  This is so sad…but it does illustrate my earlier point…the person in distress doesn’t really want to die or in this case cause others to die…they just want the pain to end.

My own personal belief is that homosexuality is wrong…a sin if you will, however, I do not think that this group or any group has the right to protest at someone’s funeral.  This is a time for a family & friends to grieve and honor their loved ones.    I think that Westboro’s conduct or behavior is shameful for a church and shows a lack of compassion or love for their fellow man/woman; and, that there are better ways to communicate their beliefs or faith.  To me it is now more like a legal sort of bullying that has the stamp approval from the Supreme Court (except for one Supreme Court Justice).

Much of the controversy comes from the fact that most of the protests include signs and words that label individuals as gays, fags or homosexuals…or sinners going to hell because of their ethnicity (Jews-non Christian), race, or religion that Westboro claims are false religions.  Many of these protests have been at funerals for military personnel who have gone to war to protect the freedoms of fellow Americans.  I think it is an outrage that a ceremony of grief for family and friends could be violated by these “protests” that exude hatred and disrespect.  While I think that most Americans would say that they have a right to their opinion…with or without a law to back it up; I believe that what is most upsetting is that their right to say it in whatever form they choose, feels as if they are stepping over the rights of those who they are protesting against.

The Westboro Baptist Church calls themselves Christian…but they do not appear to show the love of God.  Scripture says that homosexual behavior is an abomination/sin.   Yet scripture also says to love the sinner but hate the sin.  What these protests communicate has nothing of love associated with them.  It is all negative words and actions.

My feeling is that since the Supreme Court has upheld their right to protest at the funerals, and in public venues against whomever they decide to protest against; not out of any great love for Westboro’s beliefs and standards, but out of a sense of protecting everyone’s right to freedom of speech; I would like to know where responsibility comes into the discussion.  When people have a freedom of speech…do they not have a responsibility not to cause harm?

Accusing people of being a homosexual, or of belonging to, or promoting a “false” religion…can cause harmful consequences.  Denigrating a person because of their race, or religion appears to come across as an unnecessarily cruel use of words to get their beliefs known.  To me it also seems counterproductive, if their goal is to persuade others to their way of thinking.  These protests can “cost” a community or city a great deal of money to intervene with police protection to prevent violence from breaking out in certain circumstances.  Are there no legal repercussions for a group to take into consideration the harm that they can inflict upon a group or an individual, or even a community by the words that they fling towards others?

Do you think that the Westboro Baptist Church should be allowed to continue doing what they are doing?  Do you think that their actions reflect badly on other Christians?  Now that the Supreme Court has upheld their right to continue these protests, do you think that they will increase their protests around the country?  How do you feel about what they do at these protest?  Is it the American way to allow it to continue…or an outrage?

However, there are products being labeled as “bath salts” that are powders packed in small tea bag sized envelopes and advertised as legal substitutions; merely to make money.  They are  being sold on the shelves of convience stores, truck stops and head shops all around the country; as well as online.  They are marketed as bath salts, when those who produce these products know full well that they are not being used for that purpose.

Those who produce, market or sell these items should be held accountable for those who have had their lives destroyed by their products. Their intended use is for individuals who are looking for a drug induced high.  Business selling them should be forced to removed them from their stores in my opinion.  In fact, some states & communities are banning their sales…but, we need to increase awareness of this issue; before the use of these products becomes more widespread.

The powders are snorted, smoked or injected.  This product is equal in intensity to meth in it’s effects on the human body and mind.  It can be addictive even when the user experiences terrible effects during usage.  Some people have committed murder, attempted suicide or just gone on a violent, destructive bender while using these products.  Emergency rooms, police and poison control centers are seeing an increase in calls in areas where these products are being sold.

Children and adults can purchase a package of “bath salts” for approximately $20 or so.  Unfortunately these things can be purchased online too.  A parent seeing one of these packages may not realize that it is a drug with very harmful effects.  These products have names like Cosmic blast, Vanilla Sky, Red Dove, White Lightning, Hurricane Charlie, and Bliss or Ivory Wave…they sound like a generic aromatherapy type of product; these packages are anything but.  It is un-believable that this product is allowed to be sold; knowing that lives are being ruined.  These legal substitutes are chemical stimulants designed to achieve a physical/psychological high and are extremely deadly.  They have strong stimulants inside the packages which closely copy the effects on the body like speed or ephedra.

The problem is that these legal substitutes are not something that the DEA regulates.  However, the damage these drugs do is causes dangerous reactions that often produce paranoia, violence and psychological terror that can not only endanger the user (who willingly takes that chance); but also affects anyone who is unfortunate enough to run into someone under the influence of such an un-predictable drug.

Some people abusing these bath salts, have described seeing visions of, aliens, devils or demons and attacking themselves or others because of those visions.  If you see this stuff being sold…report it to the authorities.  If you know someone using these products get them help immediately; report it to a poison control center and get them in to see medical personnel right away before they harm themselves or someone else.  Schools should be prepared for the influence of these products as well by having drug counselors on speed dial.  Educating individuals who are susceptible to the influence of using drugs to escape reality is going to be very important as this trend becomes more commonly known.   Becoming aware of this trend of abusing bath salts could help you spot the danger and help to save  lives.

It is my understanding that there is nothing against the law about this agreement.  If an employee doesn’t willingly agree to this…they may not be hired; or if they’ve already been hired and refuse to sign this agreement, they can be fired or scheduled for work so little, that an employee is compelled to start looking for a new job.

I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t sit right with me.  I understand that many businesses are now 24 hours a day, seven days a week in their operations.  However, what is wrong with hiring & regularly scheduling a staff to work those separate shifts?  If someone is willing to be a floater, meaning working any shift as needed, then I see nothing wrong with that.  On the other hand, forcing employees to be available at any time, or basically being on call, to come into work, just doesn’t seem fair nor does it seem like a good way to keep up company morale.

I mean think about it, people have lives outside of their work environment.  Those employees often have other responsibilities outside of their jobs; such as those towards a spouse, a parent or maybe even to children.  I am thinking off of the top of my head here; but, how many child care places are going to be as flexible as an employee needs if they are obligated to work at all hours of the day or night?

Many baby boomers are what they call the sandwich generation meaning they are taking care of their parents while they are at the same time working and raising their own children.  Schedules have to be somewhat co-ordinated with a spouse or significant other to meet all of those requirements.  I wonder too about people who have more than one job.  Many people can’t earn enough money to support themselves & their families one the income from a job, especially if it is part time.  How could they agree to come in at any time if they are holding a second job…having a concrete schedule is the only way to balance two jobs.  Also what about college students who are trying to get an education as well as work to pay for that education; how are they to be expected to come into work at any given moment when they must be in class on a set schedule?  These issues impact a lot of people.  It is important to the quality of life that people need to enjoy life.

I read about one employee who was asked to sign one of these agreements.   She had a personal conflict regarding her religious beliefs.  The young woman expressed concerns about possibly being forced to work on a Sunday; when she felt very strongly that Sunday was supposed to be a day of rest according to scripture in the Bible.  Once the media became aware of this woman’s conflict about signing the agreement… she was allegedly told by her employer that she would not be required to sign it.  She was worried that if she signed it she would find herself in the position of having to choose between her job and her faith or possibly loose her job altogether if she refused to sign it.  I wonder how that particular company will enforce this worker agreement with other employees if they allow some to sign it and others to refuse?  It gets complicated in my opinion.

What are your thoughts on this subject?  Is this an abuse of power?   Should employers get dibs on an employees time twenty four hours a day, seven days a week?  Who should have priority over decision making regarding the employees time…an employer, family members or the employee themselves?

There are rich people with just as many problems as poor people.  In fact, often having too much money  is often more of a curse.   Some rich people try to hold on to as much of it as they can and don’t pay their rightful taxes on it; going to prison over that concept.   Look at people who struggle with an over-abundance and you will see what I am talking about.   Think about some of those music or movie stars that you see them plastered all over the tabloid papers strung out on drugs or alcohol; hanging with the wrong crowd and getting into legal troubles.  Some are homeless or about to be due to financial mismanagement.  Family secrets come out and many times, it is because someone feels slighted at not being “given” enough from that person.  Friends and acquaintances sell stories about them to the media…loyalty and true friendship are tested because of the temptation to “sell them out” for money. 

It isn’t unheard of to read about a wealthy family who is going head- to- head over who is getting what, when one of their own passes away and doesn’t handle distributing that wealth evenly to their family, friends, or their caregivers.  Even someone who has money and passes away can be sued (at least their estate can).  Sad isn’t it?

People who live on the street and are homeless are often without the basics in life because of a lack of money.  In fact, Ted Williams made the news recently as a homeless person who was recorded, on tape, by a reporter carrying a sign proclaiming his God given voice in the hopes of getting a job doing voice overs or radio work because of his talent.

It worked…in a matter of days he was carried along on a media whirlwind that took him from coast to coast in the United States doing interviews…receiving jobs offers and offers of a place to live.  He did heartfelt interviews talking about his past addictions (2 yrs of sobriety he claimed) and run ins with the law.  He was on a high of emotion from the sudden shift in his luck and station in life…given a second chance to turn things around.  I am sure in the back of his mind when he was  sleeping alongside the highway in a tent…he probably thought; if only I could get my hands on some money everything will be alright!  Many people would probably think that.

The truth of the matter is that he was still drinking.  He was still in denial.  He had a meeting with his mama, who he hadn’t seen in years, where she told him basically not to let her down this time.  She had prayed for him to turn his life around and to be safe.  To me that spoke of the hurting  journey of a parent (or loved one) to a person who has struggled with long term addictions.  This proved to be true.  The media started to say how hard it was going to be for him to suddenly be financially better off and not be tempted to go back to his old ways.

Now news reports say that Dr. Phil has done a series of three interviews with Ted and his family members out of concern about his sobriety and his addictions.  One of Ted’s 9 children allegedly got into some kind of confrontation in a hotel in California  where the police were called.  Since this time, Ted Williams has allegedly agreed to go into rehab after confessing that he has been drinking still.

Before this,  it was touted that all of Ted’s struggles were over because of  his sudden good luck.  The offers of money, jobs, and media attention seemed like a miracle opportunity for him.  It still could be;  if he does what Dr. Phil and his family truly want and need him to do which is to deal with the reasons behind his addictions and commit himself to recovery.  His relationships can be improved upon… possibly even healed from years of hurt and disappointments.  His opportunities will still be there for him to pursue when he is rooted in a real recovery.  You see, money doesn’t fix everything…it can be a tool to turn his world upside right again, or it can be the tool that destroys him.

So many of us wanted to buy into the story of a lucky Ted Williams who needed an opportunity and a little money and it would be a great story of overcoming difficult circumstances.  We wanted to see him do good.  We still do.  Now we want it more, knowing that he needs more than dollars and a place to live.  He needs help, he needs support, he needs professional intervention to help him regain control of the things in life that have held him back and away from those in his life who want him to be there in their lives healthy and whole again.  It is possible, and maybe just maybe with that help, the power of prayer and the love and support of those who care about him he will stand a fighting chance.

If you see someone who needs help getting back on their feet…don’t be so quick to just hand over money.  Think about what their circumstances really need to be turned around.  Find a way to help that isn’t a quick fix.  What are some ways to help a person in the same kind of situation as Ted Williams?

       It seems that times are tough financially, both for the man & the woman, and the ex-wife feels the need to move over 1,000 miles away to the state of Florida where she will live with her family to make ends meet.    They are about to lose their home.  There is not enough money to live on.  So she is making a plan that she feels is a good one.  But her children are young, ages 6 & 9.  I can’t help but wonder, don’t the children need more interaction, than 3 hours a week, with their father…ONLINE?

        Some people would say, well…why doesn’t the father move to Florida as well?  It seems he just had cancer surgery.  And in my opinion, if neither the mother, nor the father, is financially stable…how is it that either of them will find the finances to get set up to communicate digitally if they don’t already have the equipment or the software.  That all costs money. 

         Can a parent meet the emotional needs of their children stictly by being online at the same time?  Is it enough interaction to chat with your children?  Is the Skype program going to replace physical hugs, going places together, putting them to bed at night, joining them in their after-school activities?  Nothing against Skype but, it lacks the physical component of parenting in my opinion.  I can’t imagine a mother or a father thinking that this kind of visitation is “enough” in a long term situation. 

       Are the co-parenting responsibilities and priviledges going to be able to be satisfactory?  Will one parent end up with more of one and less of the other?   Will the children feel abandoned or cheated?  I wonder if there will be enough of an opportunity for natural bonding to be maintained in this type of arrangement.

         Was there NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE than moving so far from the children’s father?  No other affordable place to live in NY?  No other job that would increase the family’s financial situation?  Maybe we weren’t told all of the pertinent information regarding the situation that the family is facing.  Still, I wonder for any parent; father or mother, is digital visitation enough when it comes to parenting your children?   What do you think?

     So then, imagine my surprise when I read a news article today about an alleged violation of that right at the U. S. Supreme Court Building.  From reading the article it would appear that a group of middle school students and their teacher as well as a few other adults, were at the Supreme Court Building taking pictures when they decided to step to the side to pray.  The details are a bit sketchy, however it is being alleged that a police officer told them that they must cease and desist; stop praying and move along because it was against the law.

        Either there is more to this story, or the police officer was/is badly mis-informed, or some other reason was at the basis of being asked to move along.  From my impression of the article, it sounds as if it was a peaceable gathering.  However, as I said, details are sketchy. 

         Either way, the freedom to exercise religion is one of the various reasons this county, of the United States of America, was formed in the first place.   That is what democracy is all about; a society that is exhibited by a formal equality of privileges and rights.  It goes against the grain of most people to have someone tell them how and when they can exercise their religion, or their lack of religion.  It would be even more offensive to have something, of that nature, take place on the very steps of the symbol of our governing legal authority.  How odd and disheartening to have even the perception of a squashing of that freedom of religion, in such a way.  It is wise to pay attention to anything that could be a danger or a threat to the freedoms that this country endows to it’s citizens; it is our responsibility to uphold those freedoms to the best of our ability.

        While no one should be forced by government to worship or endorse anyone particular religion over another…or to even to have a religious belief in the first place; nor should they be kept from practicing their simple faith building action of prayer.

         Many Americans are feeling as if the very fabric of our country’s foundation is being torn asunder in regards to their religious freedoms.  Legal challenges seem to constantly attempt to disallow any fringe association with an open faith in American society.  From schools, to public ceremonies to work related issues to the attempts to remove any mention of God in our currency or our governing bodies … there are movements afoot to erase all mention of God as a higher power of authority.

         If this story proves to be factual, and the prayer was peaceful and was not unlawful in any other way…then that police officer needs to be educated and disciplined about the rights of Americans to pray where they will; as long as they are not violating any other laws.   If indeed he was somehow encouraged to make a stand against religious freedoms, at the very place where the laws of the land are formed and enforced…then this country had better wake up and hold the highest symbol of authority this nation has, to it’s own declarations of what is, and what is not, lawful. 

         What are your thoughts on this matter?

Allegedly there are even more sound bites from these audio recordings that have equally disturbing comments from Mel Gibson. In the past, he has been accused by some as having made disturbing comments about Jews when he was arrested.  It was said in reference to those statements, that he was under the influence.  Others would argue that what is in the heart bubbles to the surface when that person’s inhibitions are loosened up from drugs/alcohol.

This past year has seen Mr. Gibson separate from his wife of 30 years, Robyn only to publically engage in his relationship with Ms. Oksana Grigorieva.   They had a female child, Lucia, together and it is alleged by Oksana that Mel Gibson physically assaulted her by hitting her in the face, while she was holding their daughter, causing physical harm to Oksana; as well as threatening to burn down her residence. 

 Mel is now being investigated for domestic violence by law enforcement.  A tallent agency has stopped representing him in the last week as well after Mel supposedly made disparaging remarks about hispanics whom he allegedly called “wetbacks”.  His personal reputation is going through some rapid changes.   He has been a successful actor in the box office for years earning kudos from the entertainment world and from fans alike. 

These audio tapes, if proven to be his voice, are not going to help Mel Gibson dispell the impression that he is guilty of domestic violence when the tone of voice, that is alleged to be him, states the Oksana looks like a whore, has fake breasts and that she dresses in a provocative way; the male voice goes on to say that if she is attacked and raped by a pack of (N-word insulting name for African Americans) then she DESERVES that. 

No-one deserves to be raped EVER by ANYONE; and I think, if he did make those statesment that it will be hard to regain any semblance of respect from people who believe as I do that it is wrong to say such things as well as to believe it.   Also, the voice on the tape seems to dismiss Oksana by saying things such as I do not trust you, I don’t love you and I don’t want you; these are meant to tear down and diminish the context of their relationship.  It was a relationship that would not be condoned by the church because it was outside of a marriage situation; still, he chose to indulge in a relationship with her so to talk in such a way about her is insulting on many levels.   Whoa, talk about offensive!

I mean, obviously she was a good enough woman to have sex with; as evidenced by the birth of their child.  He was attracted to her enough for that.   He stepped outside of his marriage to have the relationship with Oksana.   Yet, in the same vein, she is a whore; beneath contempt evidenced by his alleged words.   These are the mixed up thoughts of a man who has not come to the understanding of the wholeness of an intimate relationship.  I mean, you can’t have sex with a person outside of marriage and condem them without also condeming yourself.  If she is a whore…then what makes him any different than her?  Is this self hate that he is directing at her because he can’t sort it out in his own head?  You have to wonder if his relationship with Oksana is the only illicit relationship that he has indulged in; maybe guilt is eating him alive.

How do you go from being in a marriage of over 30 years; to starting a new relationship with a woman who is not your wife, while still married and with whom you create a child; and then espouse your intense dislike and disrespect for that same person in such a way as to try to demean them as a person and as a woman.   Inflicting alleged verbal, emotional and physical abuse upon them for the very acts that you willingly engaged in; when you yourself are a willing participant in the relationship, is a difficult concept for people to understand.  If one is at fault, then both is at fault in the eyes of God, unless it is a forced sexual contact.

Emotions are very convoluted…mixed up with lust, anger, resentment, sadness and loathing not to mention guilt and embarassment.   The conscious is a complicated thing; when people go against their own moral or religious values to give in to sin or temptation…the spirit rebels.  Words and actions start to conflict with one another and it causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships.   The conscious is inside each of us to keep us from wrongdoing…it is a tool.  When we disregard the very core of our beings and choose to step outside of what we believe is right/wrong we end up punishing ourselves and others in ways that we don’t understand.

This is one loaded audio recording: if indeed Mr. Gibson said, let alone thought any of these things.   Then, it is indicative of a man eaten alive by a corrosive hate for not only those who are different from him by race or by being born female, as well.  Let’s remember, Oksana is the MOTHER of his child as much as Robyn is; although Robyn had every moral and legal right as his wife to have the fullness of marriage by having intimate relations with him and giving birth to his children.   Eventually Mel and Oksana’s young daughter Lucia will grow up and read of his rantings and judgements.   On the other side of things, Mel already has children, from his marriage, old enough to read and understand his words and deeds.   These kinds of words and actions are destructive to family relationships.   What must Robyn or his adult children think of his behavior…his thoughts, his words and his mindset?   Mel is still their father but they too must be trying to sort out this confusing circumstances.

Mel appears to be a man of conflicting images.  He is on one hand professionally praised by other actors and actresses and co-workers.  But, don’t you have to wonder how they feel, hearing of his feelings about women, race relations and appearances?  He was known for years as a family man to the public.   He was known for his Catholic beliefs.   He was a benefactor for children and agencies that helped them.  Yet, in the last few years he has had issues that have festered to the surface in public and in private.  Who is the real Mel Gibson?

It is just my observation but, Mel comes across to me as a man who is embroiled in inner conflicts that he does not know how to resolve.  A husband, father, family man/a man who was allegedly involved in a romantic relationship outside of his marriage vows, a good Catholic/yet a man who openly hates Jews (Jesus was a Jew), An actor and director who works with women in the entertainment industry who often dress provocatively for movie roles and for publicity; and, people of all skin colors and various religious beliefs, both behind the scenes and in film roles on the screen. 

People who are tormented with hatred of others, simply because of their own intolerence for people who are different from them, are the most miserable people.  Their intense dislike of others is caustic and hard to rally support for except from like-minded people who are also filled with judgement and hatred.  Usually there is also a large supply of self- hatred underneath it all which is masked by self-medicating behavior with drugs, alcohol, cutting or self maiming physical behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, or promiscuity; all of which are self destructive.  

What is needed is a healing of the physical, emotional and spiritual person.  Someone who fills up on hate or self destructive behaviors is someone who is trying to fill up empty spots or voids in their lives.  They don’t know how to heal and often will need professional help; such as legal intervention, sometimes medical help such as medication, psychological evaluations and treatment, and spiritual guidance which focuses on positive guidelines for building up an attitude of love, encouragement and peace.  Someone who has been indoctrinated since childhood with hate may require long term intervention before they are able to accept not only themselves but others on an equal footing or at least in an unconfrontational way of life.

A person’s legacy is a very important thing.  It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or not;  we alone determine the kind of legacy that we leave this earth with; by our thoughts, our actions, and by the way we make others feel.    We live such a short time on this earth so why spend it in turmoil, unhappiness, anger and violence.  Life is so much more rewarding when people find ways to live in peace, harmony, and love.  If you or someone you know is imploding from hatred in their heart and mind…please find help before you destroy yourself or others.

       After all, men and women have fought and died for the privelege that we all enjoy of living free from the will of others being forced upon us regardless of their own values and beliefs.   We don’t thank our military men and women enough for that and we should.  

        Our own country’s Declaration of Independence was based on the idea and principals of freedom.  Without that document as the basis of our country, we would still be forced to accept another country’s authority of what we could and could not do as individuals, in America.  Human beings still value freedom today, as much as during the formation of the United States of America; we just don’t always talk about what that means in our everyday lives. 

        Relationships are often broken or strengthened on the basis of the people’s concept of the boundaries and limitations of freedom in their relationship.  It does not matter whether that relationship is romantic in nature or whether the relationship is based on friendship, or is a family relationship such as parent to child or, even a working relationship with a co-worker  or a boss. 

         Freedom and it’s limitations are important.  If you think I am wrong consider this… if a couple has differing views on what kind of freedoms are going to be allowed in the relationships regarding physical relations, financial spending or saving, discipline issues with regard to raising children…or even freedom to pursue a chosen career…how does one compromise the limits of such freedoms without compromising or destroying one person or the other’s sense of what is acceptable?   They must consider the other person’s feelings regarding freedom as being equally important as their own and be willing to find an acceptable solution to both parties.  This is not easy…because everyone wants what they want and they want it their own way, if given a choice.

        A child who wants freedom, to do what they want at age two, will try to determine the outcome of how much freedom he or she has by acting out behaviorally.  It is the same with a teenager who is experiencing conflict between what they consider acceptable limits to their freedom as far as the use of the phone/computer/video games/ romantic relationships or even curfew.  When they don’t feel “heard” or at least met half way by a parental authority figure…often teens will rebel; sometimes even risk leaving home and damaging their relationship with parents or their siblings, over their own idea of how much freedom they should be allowed.

        Another population of people who understand the value of freedom is someone who is incarcerated or imprisoned.  The basic freedom of coming or going from place to place is something that most people enjoy and take for granted.  However, a person who is being punished criminally or in a war situation may experience a severe form of limitation of their freedoms.  They are not allowed to come and go freely.  They eats, sleep, work and interact only when they are allowed to do so.  This is meant to be a deterrent to commiting crime against societies.  It works for some, but truthfully, most people do not know how much they value these basic freedoms until it is taken away from them.  It is frightening to lack control over every aspect of your daily life.  Most people will be persuaded to live a life free of crime to avoid loosing their freedom.

        In general, the trick to having freedom that works is balancing freedom with responsibility and having a mutual respect for those with which the conflict is occuring.  Freedom to make one’s own choices is never free…it comes with a cost.  People who offer freedom to another person (from those in whom they are in disagreement with) WILL have strings attached or ulterior motives; even if they aren’t evident at the beginning. 

          We each must earn our own way in the freedom department…but, ultimately, the rights we enjoy as individuals are fought and won in battle through our military men and women who’ve paid a high costs; our court systems  and through legal challenges; and, in our own personal relationships through our communication with others of our needs and expectations; and our willingness to consider the rights and freedoms of those around us as being important as well. 

         The thing about freedom is also that the person who is expecting it, demanding it  needs to consider whether the freedom that they are wanting and seeking is worth the cost.  It must be weighed in each circumstance and if meeting in the middle or compromising can’t be done without one or both people feeling like they have given up too much…then relationships can be damaged.  It doesn’t matter how those relationships come into being…everyone wants to be valued and considered worthy of having equal say in how they conduct their lives.  It is human nature.