That being said…even those mother’s have done something to be remembered for, and that is for bringing their children into the world.  At the most basic level…giving life is something to honor; since not every woman who discovers she is pregnant makes the choice to give birth to her child.  If you had a mother who only functioned at a bare minimum, then I hope you had another woman who filled a mother- like role in your life, encouraging, teaching, praising and loving you; someone to step in and protect you.  Acknowledge that person on mother’s day and don’t let the negative emotions in regards to whether a birth mother was mother of the year or not; choose to celebrate love.

I’ve been blessed and I want to take a moment to celebrate love.  A few years ago, we were told that my mother had an enlarged heart.  This was traumatic as my mother was/is one of those women who loved and encouraged her children as we grew up.  She continues to do this.  Now her medical condition has been treated with medication and close monitoring; we are grateful for that.  However, it got me to thinking about mothers who love deeply.

I thought about the changes that happen when a woman is pregnant.  Her emotions change, her mind changes as she makes decisions that she feels are the best for her and her child.  Hopefully, she has a loving and supportive mate to help her as she parents her child…not everyone does.  A pregnant woman’s spirit changes too…she has to think beyond herself and how the life of the child she carries will be influenced by the choices she makes in life.  Finally, her body changes…oh you know the usual: weight gain, swollen ankles, varicose veins…hemorrhoids…headaches and cravings.  The important change I think for a woman who really wants to be a mother, is that her heart enlarges…it makes room for more love than you can imagine a heart to contain.

That love is what builds a life that can withstand problems, challenges, and negativity that is sure to come their way as they live their lives.  That love is what opens the door to the good things in life that are meant to be enjoyed and nurtured.  That love is what keeps the human race continuing.

I think mothers who chose to love and are loved in return should be celebrated.  If you didn’t get that, from the luck of the draw, at the moment of your conception & birth…you can still find it. Everyone wants and needs that kind of love in their life.  Be sensitive towards those who you know have a hard time at this time of year due to abandonment issues, abuse, neglect or due to the death of their mother figure.  Be a role model and encourage those who are sad or lonely or feeling cheated in the mother department.

This world is full of women who have enlarged hearts and are willing to share them.  Find someone to celebrate the good things in your life with.  Whether it be as a sister, a friend, an auntie, a grandma, a daughter…a teacher, a neighbor or a pen pal; a mother’s heart can be found in a multitude of relationships.  Let yourself love and be loved.  Don’t let a broken biological accident of birth scar you into a negative mother’s day.  Find someone who can share an enlarged heart with you…and give & receive the best that life has to offer…a truly wonderful Mother’s Day!

Like those friends that you have in your Twitter or Facebook social media streams that post way too much private information online and embarrass you;  Barbie and Ken have created a bit of a public scene.  Ken took out ads on billboards trying to get Barbie back.  After a bit of to and fro online it seems Barbie could not resist the call of the plastic perfect Ken.  Uggg…do we need drama introduced to our children through their playthings?  I mean really, isn’t the real drama enough, in most children’s circle of influence through their parents, schoolmates family lives and relationships in school enough?  Do we really need to buy into some fabricated dysfunctional drama through our children’s dolls?

As much as I grew up with the make believe work of Barbie and all of her professional unrest…truly the woman just couldn’t decide what she wanted to be when she grew up!  She is like 50 right? Now she is reuniting with her main man Ken after a seven year separation where they each went their own ways supposedly?  What has Ken done as a partner in the relationship?  He is not clearly defined.  He does not have a clear role as a male role model.  What does Ken “do” for a living?  What does he have to offer a partner?  What caused him to decide that he and Barbie could resume a healthy romantic relationship after their previous failure?  Were they in counseling together?  Did they seek to work through individual issues before considering trying to rebuild their relationship?

If I am going to buy into the publicity of this reunited relationship of Ken and Barbie and encourage children to get involved…as an adult who wants stability in my children and grandchildren’s lives; I would want to see a healthy relationship develop.  Today’s families have way too much unhealthy emotional drama in their lives.  I think, the publicity on this thing went in the wrong direction.

Then again, some people don’t often demand healthy relationships of the people in their lives either. Some allow dramas to play out on our social media streams without trying to encourage people to clean up their relationships and get real help for their troubles; instead of temporarily patching things up just to keep repeating unhealthy patterns of behavior.

I, for one, won’t be encouraging this public pandering of Barbie and Ken because I don’t happen to see any socially redeeming benefits.  Have we heard about why Barbie and Ken took a vacation from their relationship only to be wooed back into a surface relationship without benefit of working through their issues?  Are they getting help from a qualified counselor to build up their relationship and repair the troubles that broke them up in the first place? No…we only see that they have decided that they miss one another and still are attracted to one another.  Not good enough.

Kids need healthy boundaries and good role models to encourage strong, healthy relationships in their own real life world.  I understand this is about advertising & marketing…but, if they want the public to go with the flow then the powers that be that came up with this Barbie and Ken drama should have followed up with more than…it is Valentine’s day and I want you back because you are hot, and you sweet talked me into it, kind of script.  Don’t we have a right to expect better from Mattel?

What do you think? Does Mattel have a responsibility to promote their products in a healthier way to children?  Baby boomers are loyal…but, most of us have achieved some semblance of maturity in how we conduct ourselves.  Don’t we have a right as consumers, who helped to build their brand, to expect a better standard of respect for our families than just a gimmicky way to promote sales of their iconic dolls to our children and grandchildren?  Let me know what you think of this controversy!

         It got me to wondering what it is about heros that attracts us to them; what are they made of.   Why do heros do the things that they do?  Most of the time heros are fighting for justice, in other words fighting against the bad guys/gals, trying to protect other everyday non-heros from harm.  I think as we grow up, our understanding of what a hero is changes a bit.  I think we are attracted to the goodness in a hero or their ability to protect and to serve.  It is admirable and desirable to be capable of doing the right thing, for the right reason.

          In my mind, a hero is someone who does something unexpected in a challenging way that helps/protects/inspires/encourages another person who is not in a position to do it for themselves at the time.   A hero is someone who makes a split second decision to reach out and make a difference even if the cost is high-such as a stranger who rushes to protect another person from a crime, a threat, a bad decision, or a moment of danger.

           Sometimes a hero is a person who is “just doing their job” in their own words; but to another ordinary person their commitment to the deed is extra-ordinary because of the level of commitment to performing the deed comes with high risk or a high cost to the person choosing to take action.  A police officer, a fireman/woman, a postal worker, a teacher, a store clerk, military men and women…the list goes on and on; these people are heros in my book. 

           What about the volunteer or caregiver who takes extra measure to seek a solution to another person in need?  Are they a hero?   What about people who put themselves out on the front line to fight for what they believe in even when it is not popular; are they heros?  I believe that they are.

            I think about those people who fight for the poor, aged, disabled, ill, those who wage a war against cancer, domestic violence, drug & alcohol addictions, human trafficking, homelessness, abortion, abuse/neglect, children without families or without basic needs being met.  The people who champion for an awareness or for changes to existing circumstances just because it is the right thing to do…I believe these people are heros.  They are an inspiration!

           Miep Gies died yesterday at age 100.  She was a hero but she didn’t like to think of herself that way.  She was an office worker in the employ of Anne Frank’s father Otto Frank; she hid Anne Frank and her family and friends in a secret room in a warehouse during the years that Hitler was rounding up Jews to kill them, during the Holocaust.  She is the woman who bicycled around the city finding food to feed them, and who eventually found the pages of Anne Frank’s diary when they were arrested.  She risked her own life to do what was the right thing to do to protect other human beings in extra-ordinary difficult circumstances.

             There are so many different kinds of heros in our every day lives if only we stop to think about it.  I think the act of a hero is a call from God to step outside of ourselves to be the hands and feet of Jesus…to be the best person that we can be.

           Do you know someone like this?  Write me a comment and give them a little plug.  Most heros are unsung heros because they don’t believe that they deserve attention for doing what they consider the right thing to do.  And, maybe in one sense they don’t…because we should all be doing these things…but the truth of the matter is, that without examples how will others learn to be heros in their own right?  We must hold up examples of special people who do acts of heroism…because in doing that we are encouraging more of that kind of behavior. 

So is there a hero that you know of doing something wonderful?   What is your hero made of…tell us all about them.  Please comment here and let us know about this person and what they are doing to make the world a better place!  Thanks for being a light!

          The doll’s mouth has a sensor which is triggered by the chest harness that the child wears when the mouth of the baby doll nears the strategically placed daisies that represent a nursing nipple.  This begins the doll’s mouth movements and noises which simulate a real babies nursing. 

           A news story mentioned the fact that one mother says that because her children were bottle fed that seeing a toy that mimics breast feeding could confuse them.  Others say that it teaches children about the natural function of breasts.  It is enough that adults are torn on the controversy of breast feeding or bottle feeding in their parenting approach…is it necessary to bring that discussion to the world of child play?

           There are some who feel that even though nursing in real life is a natural and normal thing…role modeling it in a toy for young children is not healthy.  Others say that young children will pretend with or without this specific doll.   In child’s play, should dolls be bottle fed or breast fed?  Does this child’s toy sexualize breastfeeding like some accuse?  I wonder what other doll makers think of this idea.  I know Marie Osmond is a doll designer…I would be curious about her opinion.  After all, the breast was designed by God to feed babies and it is a natural function.

          A child development specialist could be consulted if a parent had concerns about it being in the best interest of their particular child, of course; but, I believe parents know their child best.  A parent would know their child’s level of maturity and ability to handle such toy.

            I am interested in your opinion.  Do you think this is ok for children and would you or would you not buy this for a young child and why?

          People are being influenced daily by where they go and what they purchase online by these powerful effects.   It is a digital form of word- of -mouth.  It appears that the negative opinions regarding the Bruno movie… which is based on it’s gay theme of an Austrian television host, may have prevented this movie from having a repeat of it’s opening day’s financial success.   It may or may not be true, that online word of mouth prevented many people from viewing scenes that many have alleged are pornographic in nature; but, many voiced their negative comments in multi-media outlets after seeing it; including Barbara Walters who said on her show, The View, that she believes parents should keep young kids away from this movie because of the up close shots of genitals and scenes of  vividly descriptive anal sex.  However, as long as people perceive the Twitter effect as being true…it will gain in it’s ability to influence people’s behaviors.

          The ways that Twitter is being used is still in its infancy.  People are exploring the limits, the rules, the regulations, the benefits, the profitability, and the power of  Twitter.  I think you are going to see Twitter explode.  There are scoffers…mainly people who have tried to use it strictly for business purposes of direct marketing.  That doesn’t appear to be effective.  Most Twitter users are people who are connecting in a social way and for a variety of reasons.   For the most part, Twitter streams are not targeted markets, so that limits a plan to heavily promote tweets intended to make massive amounts of money.  Many hope to benefit financially in a linear kind of way…but, often people are offended and distrustful when approached in an unsophisticated business model, by people who approach them with an in-your-face, door-to-door kind of way.

         True influence is going to come by the power of recommendation or rejection.  This is done by planting seeds of approval or discontent by a peer-to-peer approach.  Big business is going to learn to hire people who will annoymously plant seeds of recommendation.  That is different than an affiliate kind of way of putting out an affiliate link which will directly connect them to a business or product.  Others, realizing the power of recommendation marketing are demanding transparency when a recommendation is underwritten by financial gain by the person doing the recommending.

          Anyone who knows anything about gardening knows that you must plan, prepare, nuture and then harvest your produce.  Part of the planning is strategy, preparing means that you need to evaluate what is needed that will allow the business person or individual or organization to achieve their goals of influence and success.  Planning what kind of seeds to plant and when to plant them is part of that planning and preparation.  Nurturing those seeds of recommendation or influence will require many things including large numbers of “seeds- or people sending out tweets”.  It will require a little psychology, a lot of personal relationships built on trust and responsibility and an awareness of when too much is too much and when there is not enough “seeding” going on. 

         The reason for that awareness is that Twitter is a volunteer thing.  Every person has the right of choice whether to follow another Twitterer back; that is crucial for a two way relationship.  If someone is offended, spammed, intruded on or direspected…they will delete or block that person from their Twitter stream.  This will end the influence or the harvest of the desired effect of the Twitter user’s “seeds of influence”.  It is all evolving as you read this. 

          Lest not forget…gardening can be destroyed by pests.  Pests in a real live garden come in all kinds of shapes and sizes.  Conditions can destroy a garden as well.  A productive garden takes all of this into consideration.  Pests online are those who have destruction in mind….those who spam or who try to destroy by hacking into accounts to steal data to be used later for financial gain.  Twitter and other online means of social networking are trying valiantly to curb such pests.   As far as conditions go, some of those can be controlled and some cannot.  The most powerful conditions that you can control as a Twitter user are respect, responsibility, trust, honesty and authenticity.  A fake person or one who operates without those conditions quickly becomes powerless and blocked!  So grow your “gardens” with care so that your harvest of influence is based on the good things that all relationships need to be healthy.  Be very careful about the fertilizer you use because it can come back to “burn” you!

Sandra had raised the chimpanzee for most of his 14 years of life…treating him as a member of her family.  On the day of the attack he had become quite agitated and Sandra alledgedly called her friend Charla  Nash to come and help her encourage him to come back into the home.  Instead, he attacked Charla who had recently changed her appearance.  Charla sustained grave injuries and will need many, surgeries to regain some of her health back.  She is now blind and has suffered terribly.  Her family has alledgedly sued Sandra Herold for multiple millions of dollars; I am sure they will need additional funds to help pay for all of the medical bills that Charla’s injuries have caused.  So far, no charges have been filed against Ms. Herold.   The whole situation is a horrible experience for everyone involved.  Our prayers go out to Ms. Nash and Ms Herold and all of those who had to deal with this tragedy, including the emergency responders and medical staff.   On a seperate issues…

Today, there is the  news story about the Miss California controversy.  Miss California nearly lost her crown over her answer during the pagent about her opinion regarding same sex marriages.   There was a huge outcry from some of the program administrators because they felt that she offended the gay community; as well as, they claim that she was unreachable to them during this controversy by her handlers.  After this issue, someone released pictures of Carrie Prejean when she was modeling as a teenager; she had modeled semi-nude which goes against the rules.  She supposedly did not disclose the fact that these pictures existed…someone released them to the public.

Shannon Moakler who was the co-pagent director until today, when she resigned;  she had said just yesterday that she looked forward to working with Miss Carrie Prejean, Miss California, after a huge meeting  with Donald Trump between the interested parties.

Miss Shannon Moakler is a former Miss USA; she justified her resignation by saying that she spent the night trying to make the right decision.  She feels that she can not, in good conscience, continue supporting the Miss Universe Organization when she alledgedly said she does not believe in it.  This is a big deal right now…everyone has an opinion on the subject; what’s yours?

Donald Trump made the decision yesterday to allow Carrie Prejean to keep her crown and serve as Miss California.  The decision was awaited with baited breath, because of the stance that Miss Prejean took, as a Christian, to support her belief that marriage should be reserved between a man and a woman; or as some call it, opposite sex marriage.  That is a conservative opinion that is supported by many, including our President of the United States, Barack Obama, and others.  However, there were also many who were ready to openly challenge Carrie’s right to serve as Miss California because they wish to change the legal definition of  the term, marriage.

Here in this situation, we have two women who both believe very strongly in issues which are in opposition of one another.  However, with Shannon Moakler’s resignation from her position as co-director this will have a direct affect on how Miss Prejean performs her duties.  I believe they each have a right to take a stand for what they believe and to live their lives accordingly.  However, I also believe that marriage should be reserved for a relationship between a man and a woman.  I think that Miss California worded her answer in a way that was non-judgemental and spoke honestly about her personal opinion…which is what she was asked to give.  I happen to think it takes alot of courage to speak your opinion when you know that it is possibly and unpopular one or an opinion that is not politically correct.

I do think that the question was expected to inspire a different opinion to be spoken, by whatever candidate had to answer it…and, I do not think that the answer that was given was what some people wanted to hear from that stage.  What is the old saying…never risk asking a question when you aren’t sure of the answer!

     In years past, families lived in a multi-generational home or environment.  People at different stages of life who could teach and role model life experiences to the younger generation.  That doesn’t happen for many people growing up today.  Often, youth are left to raise themselves because of cultural changes that force both parents to work outside of the home during their children’s most formative years.  They dont get the nurturing or encouragement for positive emotional and educational growth that they need; when they need it.  Instead, they often grow up without much experience with success because there isn’t a go to person on a daily basis to follow up with their scholastic challenges or social interactions.

       Working with the youth of today, it never fails to amaze me at their low levels of expectations of success.  They have hopes and dreams like everyone else; and yet, they do not believe in their ability to make those hopes and dreams come true.  Many of them are failing their classes in school; others do not have the emotional, physical, or financial support of their families.  Some don’t expect more out of life than to get a minimum wage job and some place to live.  They are discouraged, distrustful, and frustrated; in other words, they are feeling defeated even before they attempt something new.

         Finding an attitude of overcoming obstacles appears to overwhelm or paralyze many youth.  When talking to a young person that is on track and appears to have set some goals, as well as having a plan to achieve their goals; it is exciting.  That is  because they appear to know how to channel opportunities, resources, experiences, and support, to help them reach their goals.

         People would do well to remember that the youth of today are our leaders tomorrow.  They are worth an investment of our time, our energy, and our resources.  Please, find someone who can use a little encouragement and support; and be a mentor, be a friend, or become a role model that they can look up to.  You won’t regret it, they will  benefit from a little focussed, positive energy coming their way.  You will also benefit from the experience, because it helps you to view life and experiences from a different point of view…one of a compassionate nature.  You can pay it forward from someone in your past who took the time to teach you how to build up your self esteem, your knowledge, and maybe even a career/educational pathway.   How can you help?

        Get involved with the youth in a local church, agency, charity, non-profit, or organization.   Offer up an opportunity to share some of your skills, education, or financial resources to those with a solid track record of community involvement.  You know you have something of value to offer…even if it is just your time…go ahead…what are you waiting for?

         Try some of these organizations on for size:  

http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.diJKKYPLJvH/b.1539751/k.BDB6/Home.htm,

 http://www.habitat.org/youthprograms/int/default.aspx   ,    

http://www.specialolympics.org/,

http://www.americorps.gov/about/programs/state.asp,

http://www.littleleague.org/Little_League_Online.htm

        Cheryl took off the summer to work on getting her dance studio opened.  While she was off from her normal schedule…she says that she gained about 5 pounds.  Some of the comments that Cheryl heard were very hurtful to her.  She said that the comments online and in tabloids were very in her face and she could not avoid hearing about them.  She said it caused her heartache and made her cry.  When she is on DWTS she is dancing approximately 7 hours a day.  Going without that regular schedule is what caused her to gain the extra pounds.

        Even though Cheryl said that she is comfortable in her own skin and has always been curvy since she hit puberty…those hurtful comments definately affected her.   She said, even with the weight gain..she is still able to fit into her size 4 costumes for the show. 

        I think it is unfortunate that people would feel it necessary to write in to her or about her weight gain.  I think as a society we are becoming conditioned by constant exposure to multi-media venues viewing celebrities and models who are setting a poor example of what is a healthy weight for their bone structure or frame.

         Americans are on a national trend heading towards obesity and that needs to be curbed.  However, we need to educate people not attack them.  Cheryl, as a size 4, is by no means hugely overweight.  As she stated on the television interviews…now that she is back regularily training in her dance routines…she is loosing the weight gain naturally.  She has no intention of going on some radical, unhealthy diet that will appease her critics.  I applaude her for that.  She has a healthy self-esteem and it comes across.

         Shorter stature women, who have the physical characteristic of being short- waisted, tend to show any amount of weight gain quite quickly.  I think, that combined with the television cameras ability to add 10 lbs to a person’s appearance and skimpy costumes that expose many of a womans trouble spots to the camera lense has put an unfair spotlight on Cheryl.  She is a beautiful woman who is talented and active. 

        Those who are quick to judge her, by the weight gain, should take care how they voice their opinion.  None of us would be too willing to trade places with her and be the person who is being judged.  There are few of us who would wish someone we care about to be judged by this same harsh standard.  What kind of an impact does it have on our young people to pick at someone’s appearance because they have gained a minimal amount of weight?  We have far too many people who struggle around the world with their body image; and because of that, they often develop eating disorders such as bulimia/anorexia.  This is a very serious blackmark on our culture.  Do you think it is fair for people to publically chastize Cheryl for her weight gain?  Has someone else’s opinion of you negatively impacted your self-esteem?

       To know the difference between giving, and enabeling.  Having boundaries on both sides is a tricky thing; so that, one person is not doing all of the giving and inspiring while the other is doing all of the taking.   Having clear boundaries and expectations helps each side to know what is required to maintain that balance.   

          That when when giving and receiving are mixed together it can inspire others when they have the opportunity to do the same.    That is the balance that i am talking about…giving can incorporate time, skill sets, energy, knowledge, or material things.  It isn’t even really that important what you give…what is important, is being aware of the needs of others around you; and, being willing to sacrifice a little of what you have been blessed with to benefit others.   Do you know someone who can benefit from what you have to offer?  I would love to hear about your thoughts on generosity!

          She wants to go to Hollywood and she is competing with other singers, models, actresses, and dancers. She won this week in the modeling division.  She had been in the top 5 for nine weeks in a row.  Now she is competing in the Big Shot CLIENT category!

         Go to :   Aleisiasha at Big Shots Live:
http://www.bigshotlive.com/js/userp.php?userid=665 and check her out!  All you have to do is register your email account and enter a user name and a password for each email address which counts for one vote.  You can vote each email address each day…2 email address counts as 2 votes!  Thanks for helping out a young girl trying to reach for her dreams.