A lot has been said about Jack Kevorkian in the media over the years.  For many years he used the media to get his message across to people around the world; he felt that people should be allowed to take their own lives.  He allegedly thought physicians should be allowed to assist them by providing the means (medicine) to accomplish that goal.  Many individuals (allegedly over 100 people) with chronic illness or disease, who were suffering, sought him out to help them end their lives.   He was eventually convicted of murder by prosecutors and served approximately 8 years in prison; but, he was released early because of his own medical conditions.

His battle with public perceptions and the public’s moral and legal viewpoint, on his stance towards assisted suicide, opened up many conversations around the world.  If nothing else, I do believe that the media attention helped people to examine their own beliefs about the idea of assisted suicide and the concept of whether people should have end of life choices when faced with chronic illnesses or diseases.

My own personal feelings aside, I can’t help but wonder as Jack was stripped of his medical license after being in prison for assisting suicides in the past; if he could have, would he have taken his own life at the end?

I mean, Jack’s life and career appeared to revolve around death and dying.  He didn’t have access to his machine, that he invented to assist those who wanted to commit suicide, while he struggle with his illness in the hospital.  Still, he has had health problems for years…which was part of the reason he was released early from prison.

One wonders, why didn’t he commit suicide himself during that time.  Could it be that he realized the value in living even while chronically ill?  Did he ever regret helping others to commit suicide?  Publicly he remained defiant…but, when released from prison he agreed to no longer assist people with their suicides.  Still, if he would have taken his own life…there is nothing that the legal system could have done to him after his death.   He chose not to do that…and I am glad.

It is said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation.  There are reports of people who have attempted suicide and somehow survived who report being glad that their attempt failed. Suicide leaves many victims…the survivors or loved ones of people who are successful at taking their own lives struggle with many issues.

Suicide prevention is important because people are in distress when they consider taking such an extreme action.  Those stresses are intense…but often they are fleeting situations and if a person has an intervention that helps preserve their life than can go on and live a rewarding life (even if it is hindered by disease or illness).  For those of us who have moral convictions about the idea of suicide, it is with sadness to hear of someone losing their life to suicide whether it is assisted or not. The subject is emotionally charged for most people…those who believe in the right to take their own life and those who believe it is wrong to do so.

Having lost a loved one myself, this week, after a long battle against a chronic disease; I can only imagine how much more complex the loss would have been, had that person chosen to take his own life.  He suffered greatly, and yet he struggled to live; was he ever tempted to take his own life?  I am sure there were moments when the pain became too much to bear…and yet, he fought for every moment he was allowed to have with his friends and family.

What are your thoughts on death and dying…Jack Kevorkian or assisted suicides?  Our condolences to his friends and family at their loss.

Fashion Eyeglasses Charms Even The Most Self Conscious

Let’s be honest, most children who are told that they must wear glasses will often not be thrilled with the idea of having to wear eyeglasses.  For many children, it is the idea that others will make fun of them or, cause them to be viewed as being different from other children their own age.  Being bullied because you are visually impaired and have to wear glasses can cause a child to refuse to wear them, out of fear of being made fun of.

No one want to be made to feel self conscious about themselves, especially at certain ages when it is most important to fit in with their peers.  We’ve come along way since the days of having  a choice between wearing heavy black plastic frames or  wire frames that were basically your only choices.

Still, everyone likes to look their best and there are many fashion frames from which someone can choose to fit the shape of their face and their sense of style.   On the other hand, if you are looking to change things up so that you don’t get bored with a certain look once you’ve purchased your eyeglass frames; there wasn’t much you could do except buy multiple sets of glasses…until now.

Ros Guerrero is the owner of a company that has solved this problem.  She invented eyeglass charms that add a bit of decorator style to your eye wear frames.  Some of these charms are classic styles that are a great way to dress up your lenses for a night out…others are kind of funky colorful and fun charms.  There are charms for adults, for girls and for boys too.  I like the fact that there are charms that a child can choose from in their area of interest of art or sports.

There are also seasonal charms, pets/animals, colorful flowers, or charms that create awareness of issues such as breast cancer.  Ros has created a variety of charms for you to choose from.   These make great gifts too for just about any occasion!  They are easy to attach and the fun is in the conversations that take place when others notice the charms attached to the glasses.  It is a wonderful way to break the ice for children who may have trouble initiating conversations with others.

The really neat thing about Ros’ company is that her daughter Gem was her inspiration.   One day, Ros designed and attached her first set of charms to Gem’s glasses and sent her to school.  Gem received so many compliments, in her special needs class, that the idea of Ficklets was born.  Getting noticed wearing glasses, for a child, is not always a positive experience.   Ficklets charms can positively influence how a child perceives wearing their eye wear.  After all, if a child won’t wear their glasses how can they possibly help their eyesight?  Much of a person’s education is learned visually.   If a persons vision is impaired in any way, it is only logical that getting them to commit to wearing their glasses is important, right?

Ros & Gem ~*~The designer & The inspiration

As you know, children aren’t the only ones who wear glasses.  What’s really great about eye wear today is the fact that there are so many choices.  Still, it is the same for adults…who wants to wear the same old- same old look, day after day.  There are classic charms for female adults as well.  The added touch of these charms can dress up your look at work or, for a night out making you feel stylish and attractive.  Everyone is at their best when they feel confident and assured about their appearance.  Changing your look can be costly.   It’s a lot more affordable to change up the look of your present glasses by purchasing Ficklets than it is to go out and purchase an extra set of frames.

Do you know someone who refuses to wear their glasses because they are self conscious about the way they look?  Have you ever known someone whose life was changed because their vision was improved by wearing glasses?  If so, then you understand the importance that Ficklets can play when it comes to self esteem and wearing prescription glasses.  Are you thinking of someone in your life who would appreciate a pair of Ficklets?  If so…what are you waiting for?  Thanks Ros & Gem for helping us to see things more beautifully!

Check out this young girls reaction to her Ficklets: http://www.youtube.com/user/Ficklets?feature=mhum

Many of the comments that I overheard were negative and directed at my daughter.  All three girls have dominant personalities but what I was getting a glimpse of was what you would call verbal bullying.  Early the next day we had activities to go to so I wasn’t hearing much but I didn’t like some of what I did hear.   Even more importantly, when negative comments were made regarding my daughter she did not speak up or against what was being said.

When I would hear the tone of voice or the partial conversations that made me go…ummm what was that you said; all I got for clarification was , “oh nothing, never mind”.  That only made me listen closer.

So it was on the drive delivering the girls to their home that I was in a better position to hear clearly a couple of comments that I felt were so outrageous and disrespect or demeaning that I had to address it.  Now, understand…these girls weren’t purposely trying to be cruel.

I feel that they were more unaware of what they were doing…and yet, it had to be talked about.  I expressed to them that friends did not speak that way to one another.  Friendship I said can last a lifetime if the people involved take the time to care for one another, support and encourage one another.   I said that there are enough people in this world ready, willing and able to tear you down, make fun of you, disrespect you and try to make you feel small.  I said that it was unacceptable for them to speak to one another that way.  It had to stop.  That it was unhealthy.

My concern was two fold…one that my daughter’s self-esteem not be damaged by “friends” whose opinions mean a great deal to my daughter and two that her friends understand that this kind of behavior was not only not healthy but would not be tolerated.  Those girls as well as my daughter needed to understand that self esteem and relationships go hand in hand and that they form at a young age how we allow ourselves to be treated in future relationships.

A damaged self esteem sets up individuals for entering into abusive relationships.  An individual who abuses others in a relationship often end up in very unhealthy relationships later in life as well.   I don’t want any of either of those types of relationships for these three young ladies.

People who are involved in dysfunctional relationships are often caught up in depression, drugs/alcohol abuse, violence, pre-marital sex at a young age and even teen pregnancies.  The prison systems are full of abandoned individuals who’ve gotten involved in the wrong things; because they didn’t develop healthy foundations, in their own minds, about who they are and what they deserve in life.  Too often people are told they are no good and they don’t deserve anything but emotional crumbs in their day to day lives; and it isn’t true.  Life is too short to be broken, angry, hurt and miserable.  Everyone has the right to grow up believing that they deserve the best life has to offer.

Today it seems that people just don’t know how to support one another or relate to each other in a positive way.  The world has become very negative and toxic.  Many people only concern themselves with getting their own needs met and often times they do that at the expense of others.  We need to find ways to build people up, support them, encourage them and help them to grow in positive ways.

Parents, teachers, siblings, friends and clergy need to keep tuned into the people involved in relationships with the people that they love.  Listen closely to how they speak to one another, how they treat one another and how they allow others to treat them as well.  Building healthy interactions between those we are in charge over is important.  Do you have any tips to help someone in this type of situation?

I know that some people celebrate Christmas without having any religious meaning to it…but honestly, why?  They could just as easily have get-togethers with friends and family without having to go through the motions of celebrating Christmas, right?   For me, my friends and most of my family; we choose to go deep into the meaning of Christmas.

I understand the biblical story can seem fantastical to an unbeliever.  A virgin girl gives birth to the son of God so that he can live among his people teaching them of the ways of God and to eventually sacrifice his life so that those who believe in him can live for eternity in Heaven with God the Father.   It is an amazing way to impact people.  It is extraordinary!  How else should the son of God be viewed except as an extraordinary person?

Put yourself into the position of young Mary the mother of baby Jesus.  She herself was a young girl who had known no man physically.  When the angel of the Lord came to her and told her of this miraculous plan; Mary had to have been shocked and fearful.  After all, even today being a young pregnant woman who is unmarried is no easy task.  Imagine even more so in the time in which Mary lived when a young woman could be not only socially destroyed by a pregnancy while unmarried…she could also be stoned to death for her sin.  This was the way of the world during the time that Mary lived.

Can you imagine her thoughts?  Not only that, but she was betrothed to Joseph.  Would he still accept her as his wife to be once it became noticeable that she was pregnant?  Did she tremble with the knowledge that the angel shared with her?  What about her family would they still love her, stand by her… or would they think her a liar and condemn her to the punishment that was sure to come her way?

God in his wisdom prepared Joseph by letting him know that his was his plan for Joseph and Mary.  He told Joseph that the child Mary carried was the Messiah that had been foretold of in scripture.  He told Joseph what to do when the time was right.  Joseph had to have struggled with his own thoughts of doubt, insecurities and fear.  Was he good enough, strong enough and faithful enough to support Mary in public and raise the child of God?  After all, he was about to become an adoptive father, a step father in effect.  How intimidating is all of that?  What about all that whispering of rumors that would happen when people would believe that he and Mary had just had sex and got caught…so maybe, just maybe, they came up with this fantastical story to cover their tracks?

I mean really, people are still the same today as back then when it comes to talking behind peoples backs, right? Joseph could have accused her in public of cheating on him, he could have shamed her; he could have walked away or “divorced” her severing their betrothal to one another.  He could have doubted his own worthiness to fulfill the role that God had chosen him to serve by protecting Mary, being the father figure on earth and by instilling all of the values that God in Heaven wanted his son Jesus to have while he grew into the man that God wanted him to be.

Courage is what it took for Joseph and Mary to accept God’s plan for their lives and for the life of baby Jesus who WOULD grow into the man who would die to save the world from their sins; if only they would believe.  Obedience is what was required.  Faith is what it took to make it happen.

The human side of the story is one in which I suspect most of us can most relate to.  The fears, the doubt, the questions… the awe when God’s plan was fulfilled.  As they planned and prepared for the birth of Jesus…imagine their surprise when he was born in a lowly stable (barn).  He was to be the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords…the son of God.  How could it be that he was to come into the world in such a common way?  There was no room at the inn as Joseph and Mary traveled…the stable was the best that Joseph could come up with at the moment of the onset of Mary’s labor.

Once the baby was born and God sent worshipers to him from around the world…don’t ya think that all were amazed?  I can only imagine it.  I mean…any other mother looks to prepare her nest.  Get things clean, prepared and just so.  I am sure that Mary was no different.  She was getting ready to welcome the baby who would be called Jesus.   Those who came to see the child were welcoming the baby.  The animals in the stable were privileged to see and greet the son of God.  The chosen human parents were welcoming the baby gratefully the he arrived safely.  There was joy.  There was celebration.

Today we should be no less filled with joy or celebration.  Yes it happened a long time ago.  But, just knowing that it happened and how it affects us all; we should still be welcoming the baby in our lives.  It should not just be at Christmas time either.  Jesus is a gift to us all; from God, so that we can have eternal life and not spend eternity in hell because of our sins.  If we believe in Jesus as the son of God, claim him as our own, live our lives under the guidelines and rules in the Bible… do our best to serve God in all that we do, say, think and feel; then, we will truly be welcoming the baby Jesus in the way that God intended.

How does that translate into a world that barely acknowledges God let alone his son?  We must do our best to include him daily.  Be the person that God has created you to  be.  Live your best life by doing what is right, striving to be holy, praying,  reading the Bible…affecting the people around you in a positive way.

This Christmas, how do you intend to celebrate the birth of Christ?  Do you include honoring as the main goal of your holiday celebrations?  Do you have traditions that show why you give gifts, prepare a feast of food, invite visitors and have a party in general?  Tell us about your Christmas celebrations…we’d love to hear from you.

        That should be a comfort in itself; so then why do we fight it?   Whenever we try to take control and steer our lives in the path that we think it should go…we are operating blindly; it is good to remind ourselves of that.  For we only see our small portion of the jigsaw puzzle or road map.  God, you DESIGNED the jigsaw puzzle and the map; you know where every single piece of the puzzle fits; you know which road to take to avoid additional hazzards. 

        God, you alone know how each piece of our lives are supposed to fit together to create something beautiful and whole.  While we sometimes struggle to MAKE the pieces fit, and  occasionally they may even appear to fit together for a time…in the end; we often discover our mistake in trying to force something to work that does not belong there at all. 

        We need you God to make sense of it all, to guide us in our decisions, our reactions, our ACCEPTANCE, of what is supposed to be.  We need you to guide us in the areas of our lives to avoid and reject…to put our feet on the path that they belong on; even if it is dark and scary.  For you are the light, by which we can be sure, to follow to the correct destination.   Is it the obedience that you are looking for from us?  Why is that so hard to remember to do?

       Why do we worry, wonder and fret?  It is the unknown that terrifies us.   Imagination is usually a friendly companion in our daily lives, but in times of stress it can become the enemy towards building and strengthening our faith.  We want to trust and be a pillar of strength and encouragement…but, there is still the uncertainty of how things will turn out.   Do we feel worthy of a miracle in our lives when we desperately need it?  Do we KNOW  without a doubt that you love us ENOUGH to take care of our difficulties?   

           In the end, it doesn’t matter how we got where we are, nor does it matter if we like where we find ourselves…what does matter is how we choose to proceed; how we conduct ourselves in the midst of the challenges we face.  In other words…

          It is in our BEST INTEREST then to give up control,  remove doubt and fear from the equasion, find courage,  and expect miracles…trusting that even through the challenges…good will come.  Knowing with certainty that lives will be changed, improved, and blessed.   Thank you then God, for always being there; for loving us, and for helping us even when we are being problem children!

         It is a little bit like the song my husband was taught as a child, “You can’t ride in my little red wagon, the backseat’s broke and the axel’s draggin, chug, chug, chug-a-luga-lug,Second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse, You can’t ride in my little red wagon, the backseat’s broke and the axel’s draggin, chug, chug, chug-a-luga-lug, Third verse same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse”…you get the idea!   Nothing changes…it just keeps on keeping on.   The sameness just takes on a life of it’s own.

          Or…the children’s song: 

         This is the song that never ends…it could go on and on my friend, some people starting singing it not knowing what to do, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because, This is the song that never ends…it could go on and on my friend, Some people starting singing it not knowing what to do, and they’ll continue singing it forever….just because…This is the song that NEVER ENDS…………..etc.

          Those examples might be catchy at first…exciting in fact when beginning but by the third time around…you get bored, you want to move on…and yet…you feel trapped into the rhythm of it all.   You can’t seem to get it out of your head.  It is the same in life…whatever you are doing seems great for a time…but, when you feel like moving on and nothing happens to break the rhythm…you feel trapped…you get bored and frustrated.   Nothing satisfys you anymore…everything feels like deja vu….been there before and done that.   Disappointments and broken dreams seem to pile up in the corner.   How do you break out of  these patterns?  How do you set the wheels of change into motion?  How do you restart the passion and the joy in your step…build excitement about what you are doing, where you are going, and how you are getting there during the process?

         I think you must start with some brainstorming.  Grab a piece of paper and your favorite writing utensil.  Open up your mind and your heart.  Start a Wish list or a List of Dreams…these are ideas without limits.  As soon as a negative thought pops into your head…squash it like a bug.  For example…if you have ever had a desire to be something like a window washer on a high rise building (but you immediately throw that idea out because you are afraid of heights…that right there is a negative thought…put the dream down in writing…a high rise window washer) …Whatever your dream or wish is…list it.   Maybe it is a desire to be a concert pianist (and you can’t even play chopsticks yet)…list the dream/or skill.   No matter how far fetched it may seem…no matter how problematic it could be to make it happen.  Put it on the list.

         Write down every desire you’ve ever had, or still have, for your life.  Then on another piece of paper, write all of the roles, jobs, responsibilities, or tasks that you would love to get rid of in your life.  Doesn’t matter whether you really think that you can get rid of those things or expectations…or how inconvienced someone else would be if you were to get rid of those particular items…Write it down.   Matter of a fact, write down whatever it is that you feel is holding you back from reaching out and grabbing those dream items from the starry heavens. 

           Next, put the two lists side- by- side.  Do you notice any connections?  Do you see any relatable ideas, themes or items?  Can you see any connections at all?  Is there patterns to the things that hold you back…do they all go back to one area of your life that brings you unhappiness, dissatifaction, anxiety, anger, resentment or fear? 

           Next you need to grab another sheet of paper and write down any kind of practical solutions that would resolve your inability to build upon your dreams or your wish list…laying a foundation for achieving your goals in those areas.  Find ways both big and small that will start removing the obstacles from your path to regaining joy in forward and productive movement again…to feeling excitement in getting out of bed and putting your hands, your heart and your mind to work on the things that make a difference in your life.   Can you hear a melody yet, feel the rhythm, or sense a tempo beginning to come together…when you hear the harmony…it all starts to sound beautiful again.  Maybe you want to sing along…sway to the music, grab ahold of the emotion of the music and enjoy it just because it makes you smile again.

         The biggest joy stealers in life are resentment and bitterness at giving up on your goals and dreams because you don’t feel like you have permission to have them in your life.  Give yourself permission.  You may just find out that the situations and the people in your life that you feel would not support you in your quest/journey could very well find your bravery, in the pursuit of happiness and joy, inspiring.  

          Finally, seek God’s guidance from the beginning to the end of your seeking.  Ask him to remove obstacles, clear your pathway…and hit you over the head about which direction you should go.  Sometimes, we don’t ask him the right questions about his plans for our lives; we are more concerned about our own wants and desires, than we are about fulfilling our assignments or purpose.  When we are the most frustrated about our lives it is when he is readying us for change.  He has allowed us to feel dissatisfied about where we are…so that we are motivated to go through the struggle in changing our circumstances.   When we are in alignment with his purpose for us we will achieve things more easily, they will practically reveal themselves to us in a way that seems almost magical or surreal.

         Think about it; when we are comfortable, content or accepting of our lot in life…what reason under the sun do we have to change our course?  There is none.  So he allows us to feel the discomfort, the prompting in our spirit for something more…something different…something challenging…so that we feel the need to make changes.  Look to his leading…listen with all of your mind, your heart and your soul.  Don’t just look for the answers you want to hear…listen to his answer, even if it seems farfetched.   He goes before us and clears the way when we are seeking his guidance.  Our human minds often see no sensible way to make things happen, but if it is his desire for us, he makes things happen in an awe inspiring way.  Your  true satisfaction could be right around the corner from where you are standing!

         If God gave us all of the answers to our questions immediately, and, answered them the way we wanted him to…we would be right back in the same boat that we find ourselves in, day in and day out.  We have to feel stimulated, challenged, excited about the future so that we are encouraged to move forward; sometimes against difficult situations.   So the next time you feel in limbo, out of sorts and boxed in…think about when you feel that way; what is happening at that time…what would you like to see happen in your life that would open doorways to your true purpose?   Now, is there something that you want or need changed in your life?  What are you going to chose to do about it?

        They are questioning  their own ability to know themselves better than their friends or relatives.   They are validating themselves through the eyes of others…and often will give more weight to the opinion of others…then to what they think of themselves.  So I wonder, who knows you better than you know yourself? 

          Sometimes self doubt has crept inside a person’s head from listening too often to the opinion of others.  If someone has been verbally abused or put down…they begin to believe it and don’t trust their own judgement.   Learning how to overcome that and begin to build up a level of self awareness takes time.   It is important to get to know yourself and like yourself, for who you are.   If you don’t put yourself  in situations where you test your knowledge of yourself, you will always allow others to have an emotional sway over how you think of yourself; and, the choices you make in your daily life.  You can repair your self esteem and your ability to make good decisions based on your own judgement; instead of depending on the opinions of other people.

           That is not to say that everyone else’s opinion should be disregarded; however, you should not allow the opinion of another person to “tell you” who you are or define you.  They may have an observation about certain aspects of your personality or behavior; but, they don’t know the person inside of your head and inside of your spirit.   Their observations may help you see how you are perceived by others…but, that is not the total package.

          So, go ahead, get information from others…but, take that information and put it together with what you know about yourself to be true.  Spend time trying to explore who you are, why you think the way you do, why you react the way you do in certain situations… and learn to trust your own instincts.  Being a confident person takes time and testing.  But by being willing to grow and learn…you can change or improve the parts of yourself that you are not happy with; you can build upon your character strengths and assets.   To do that you have to be honest with yourself and evaluate who you are accurately.   Everyone has strengths and weaknesses…character plusses and minuses. 

         So can it be true?  Is there no one who knows you better than yourself?  Not a doctor, a spiritual leader or pastor,  a parent,  not a counselor, a friend, lover, or any family member?  Well, the truth is ….they all see different parts of ourselves.  They see what we allow them to see.  If they have your best interest at heart…their opinions and observations can be extremely helpful and valuable to you as a person…but, never allow someone’s opinion to over-ride truths that you know about yourself. 

         There is only one who knows you better than you know yourself…that is the Creator, God, Lord God Almighty, Master Physician, Allah, The Great I Am, the Alpha and Omega; that is the only one who understands you from the inside out.  He knows your heart, your mind, your body and your intentions.   He knew you as you formed in your mother’s womb.  He is with you always and therefore knows about your successes and your failures.   The  opinion  of God is the only one that matters more than your own!  Be pleasing and acceptable to him, according to his guide book, the (Bible), and you will be a person of exceptional value to yourself and to others.  There is no better standard or measure of a person’s heart and mind.

          If you are a person who is self-disciplined, careful, wise and tends to lean towards making good decisions with relatively positive outcomes…Congratulations!  However, if you know yourself to, more often than not,  err on the side of poor choices and impulsive decision making, which results in a negative outcome; then beware…it will destroy you.   It will destroy you;  if, you do not heed the advice, guidance, discipline and boundaries set up for you by people  who  know what they are talking about; and, who love  you & genuinely care about what happens to you!

        I know we all want to be independent.  We all want to be free to choose the path that we find ourselves on, in life; that is just a given.  However, have you ever known someone who was their own worst enemy when it came to decision making?  They may have said all of the right things about their goals, their dreams and their intentions…but, when it came right down to it…their actions did not match up to their talk. 

          Oh I know…someone reading this is thinking that it is all about maturity levels…and yes, that may be true for some.  On the other hand, I know that all too often; people destroy themselves and their goals by their thought patterns or mindset.  Some just can’t seem to help it.  Their past experiences or relationships have set them up to fail; some of them with mindblowing bells and whistles mingled with breathtaking fireworks.  When they fail, they fail big…almost in comparison to their large hopes and dreams.  It is frustrating.  Maybe their intentions were good…but when it came right down to it…they didn’t have the discipline to make it happen, or, they were trying to achieve something that was outside of their ability. 

          Perhaps, their judgement was influenced by an addiction to drugs or alcohol, by negativity, or by a fear of success/failure.  In those cases, it is important to have someone by their side who is invested in them as a person…someone who believes in them and what they are trying to accomplish.  They need to have someone on their side of the fence who is successful, skilled, goal minded…someone who they can trust.   They need an attitude of I am willing to listen and learn; and a desire to practice what I’ve been taught.

           Trust is a big issue.  If the person who is giving advice is someone who has a good track record with decision making, with success, and with their best interest at heart…they are worth listening to.  You can retrain yourself to make good decisions and to have confidence with your choices; with the end goal of achieving success.  You may need to give up a little control for a time…allow yourself to mentor or learn from someone that you admire and respect, in the areas of your life that you are trying to be successful in. 

         It is important to realize that you need to focus on overcoming the obstacles that are in your way.  Rebellion, resistence to proper guidance or instruction is often at the root of failure; people want to do things their own way.  Laziness and a poor work ethic combined with all of those negative qualities that we have already talked about will surely destroy you and your goals.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  You can do what you set out to do.  You can make great decision with wonderful results.  You can start setting new track records by allowing yourself the opportunity to learn and grow; no one is born knowing the right thing to do, all of the time.  It takes time and experience to recognize your strengths and weaknesses.  

           Part of personal development is learning what your strengths and weaknesses are.  Learning to find ways around your weaknesses by teaming up with others who have strengths in those areas where you are lacking…building up and growing your areas of strengths.  This most certainly can be done.  You can learn to trust your decisions once you examine your values, skills and talents and personality gifts and deficets.  This is a life long test of personal courage.  Those in authority above us have to be of the strongest morals and values; and trusted in the areas of leadership.   They must be able to communicate in an encouraging and educational way to inspire and make a positive impact on those around them.  Only put yourself in the hands of someone who you can look in the eye and respect.  Authority figures are not all bad;  be open to those around you who are willing to teach you and  have your best interest at heart!

         Oh to be sure, there is excitement, a sense of accomplishment, joy, happiness, a burst of energy, a need to tell the world; but the flip side of that is fear, an intense worry about failure, bittersweet sadness/joy, unhappiness, lethargy/laziness, and a need to keep things a secret, in case it doesn’t work out.   After all, what if the thing I worked so hard for, so longed for, waited until i came of age for…doesn’t measure up…or worse, what if I blow it?  What if people find out that the very thing that i went after; I wasn’t equipped to do?

          Geez, Louise, somebody could expect something from me…such as success, accomplishment, and or an ability to change the world with my achievement.  Then what?  Oh the agony of getting there only to be frozen in the moment.  Hmmm what to do?

           This is the gift of living with purpose, with goals, with expectation…this is what many graduates are now experiencing.  Whether it be high school, college, or a milestone at work, or personal relationships; this big bowl of mixed emotions is served on a silver platter.   Here’s the thing, try to remember that not everything rests upon your achievement or failure…joy can be found on the journey as well.  You just never know where your journey is going to take you; and, some of the best things in life can be found on the little side trips that you dare to risk taking.

             I know it is hard; push through it anyway…you will be rewarded.  Your goal is in sight…and your path will be made clear from both the successes and the “failures” (I call them u-turns).  The trick is to just keep going…keep putting one foot in front of the other, look for things to enjoy along the way!   Continue learning, continue growing, continue exploring until you find your passion…that alone, will push you through any obstacle that plops itself down in your pathway!  Oh by the way, congratulations on whatever milestone you have hit…what’s next?  Whatever it is, go for it, enjoy it…learn from it and share it with the world!

        In what turns out to be a case of self-fulfilling prophecy, Claire is kidnapped.  She was faced with a scenerio right out of one of her nightmares when a stranger forces himself into her home and attempts to steal her young daughter.  In a desperate moment of complete mother love, Claire trades her freedom for her child’s potential imprisonment by this stranger.  As the knowledge of what she has done sets in, Claire’s internal panic mode sets in.  It is her nightmare come to life; that lack of control over what is about to happen to her…she feels trapped and powerless to guarantee a good outcome.  Claire’s husband has been living a secret life; maybe that is true but, so has she.   These things are revealed slowly to her, during her time in captivity. 

          This taking of her freedom is what ultimately sets Claire free and opens her eyes to the life that surrounds her.   Come and see how she puts the pieces of her life together, into a framework that allows her to live her life in appreciation of beauty, instead of fear; with a sense of fulfillment and gratitude for the things she holds dear.  By the time the book was completely finished, I thought the title should have read; Still Standing!   I loved this book, and you will too.

           If you have ever had any relationship with an irrational fear, panic attacks or an anxiety disorder this book will feel like someone is speaking your language.  A sister who shares your thoughts and feelings…she gives you hope that life can be different, freer, and more peaceful once again.  Read the novel, soak it up and enjoy the knowledge that this author, Kelly Simmons, doesn’t make light of those who know what Claire has been through!

            You can learn more about the author here on her website:  http://www.bykellysimmons.com/  There you can also find a link to purchase her book.  You wont be sorry that you did.  The book, Standing Still, was published by Atria Books and copyrighted in 2008.   They are a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.