I know that some people celebrate Christmas without having any religious meaning to it…but honestly, why?  They could just as easily have get-togethers with friends and family without having to go through the motions of celebrating Christmas, right?   For me, my friends and most of my family; we choose to go deep into the meaning of Christmas.

I understand the biblical story can seem fantastical to an unbeliever.  A virgin girl gives birth to the son of God so that he can live among his people teaching them of the ways of God and to eventually sacrifice his life so that those who believe in him can live for eternity in Heaven with God the Father.   It is an amazing way to impact people.  It is extraordinary!  How else should the son of God be viewed except as an extraordinary person?

Put yourself into the position of young Mary the mother of baby Jesus.  She herself was a young girl who had known no man physically.  When the angel of the Lord came to her and told her of this miraculous plan; Mary had to have been shocked and fearful.  After all, even today being a young pregnant woman who is unmarried is no easy task.  Imagine even more so in the time in which Mary lived when a young woman could be not only socially destroyed by a pregnancy while unmarried…she could also be stoned to death for her sin.  This was the way of the world during the time that Mary lived.

Can you imagine her thoughts?  Not only that, but she was betrothed to Joseph.  Would he still accept her as his wife to be once it became noticeable that she was pregnant?  Did she tremble with the knowledge that the angel shared with her?  What about her family would they still love her, stand by her… or would they think her a liar and condemn her to the punishment that was sure to come her way?

God in his wisdom prepared Joseph by letting him know that his was his plan for Joseph and Mary.  He told Joseph that the child Mary carried was the Messiah that had been foretold of in scripture.  He told Joseph what to do when the time was right.  Joseph had to have struggled with his own thoughts of doubt, insecurities and fear.  Was he good enough, strong enough and faithful enough to support Mary in public and raise the child of God?  After all, he was about to become an adoptive father, a step father in effect.  How intimidating is all of that?  What about all that whispering of rumors that would happen when people would believe that he and Mary had just had sex and got caught…so maybe, just maybe, they came up with this fantastical story to cover their tracks?

I mean really, people are still the same today as back then when it comes to talking behind peoples backs, right? Joseph could have accused her in public of cheating on him, he could have shamed her; he could have walked away or “divorced” her severing their betrothal to one another.  He could have doubted his own worthiness to fulfill the role that God had chosen him to serve by protecting Mary, being the father figure on earth and by instilling all of the values that God in Heaven wanted his son Jesus to have while he grew into the man that God wanted him to be.

Courage is what it took for Joseph and Mary to accept God’s plan for their lives and for the life of baby Jesus who WOULD grow into the man who would die to save the world from their sins; if only they would believe.  Obedience is what was required.  Faith is what it took to make it happen.

The human side of the story is one in which I suspect most of us can most relate to.  The fears, the doubt, the questions… the awe when God’s plan was fulfilled.  As they planned and prepared for the birth of Jesus…imagine their surprise when he was born in a lowly stable (barn).  He was to be the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords…the son of God.  How could it be that he was to come into the world in such a common way?  There was no room at the inn as Joseph and Mary traveled…the stable was the best that Joseph could come up with at the moment of the onset of Mary’s labor.

Once the baby was born and God sent worshipers to him from around the world…don’t ya think that all were amazed?  I can only imagine it.  I mean…any other mother looks to prepare her nest.  Get things clean, prepared and just so.  I am sure that Mary was no different.  She was getting ready to welcome the baby who would be called Jesus.   Those who came to see the child were welcoming the baby.  The animals in the stable were privileged to see and greet the son of God.  The chosen human parents were welcoming the baby gratefully the he arrived safely.  There was joy.  There was celebration.

Today we should be no less filled with joy or celebration.  Yes it happened a long time ago.  But, just knowing that it happened and how it affects us all; we should still be welcoming the baby in our lives.  It should not just be at Christmas time either.  Jesus is a gift to us all; from God, so that we can have eternal life and not spend eternity in hell because of our sins.  If we believe in Jesus as the son of God, claim him as our own, live our lives under the guidelines and rules in the Bible… do our best to serve God in all that we do, say, think and feel; then, we will truly be welcoming the baby Jesus in the way that God intended.

How does that translate into a world that barely acknowledges God let alone his son?  We must do our best to include him daily.  Be the person that God has created you to  be.  Live your best life by doing what is right, striving to be holy, praying,  reading the Bible…affecting the people around you in a positive way.

This Christmas, how do you intend to celebrate the birth of Christ?  Do you include honoring as the main goal of your holiday celebrations?  Do you have traditions that show why you give gifts, prepare a feast of food, invite visitors and have a party in general?  Tell us about your Christmas celebrations…we’d love to hear from you.

Allegedly there are even more sound bites from these audio recordings that have equally disturbing comments from Mel Gibson. In the past, he has been accused by some as having made disturbing comments about Jews when he was arrested.  It was said in reference to those statements, that he was under the influence.  Others would argue that what is in the heart bubbles to the surface when that person’s inhibitions are loosened up from drugs/alcohol.

This past year has seen Mr. Gibson separate from his wife of 30 years, Robyn only to publically engage in his relationship with Ms. Oksana Grigorieva.   They had a female child, Lucia, together and it is alleged by Oksana that Mel Gibson physically assaulted her by hitting her in the face, while she was holding their daughter, causing physical harm to Oksana; as well as threatening to burn down her residence. 

 Mel is now being investigated for domestic violence by law enforcement.  A tallent agency has stopped representing him in the last week as well after Mel supposedly made disparaging remarks about hispanics whom he allegedly called “wetbacks”.  His personal reputation is going through some rapid changes.   He has been a successful actor in the box office for years earning kudos from the entertainment world and from fans alike. 

These audio tapes, if proven to be his voice, are not going to help Mel Gibson dispell the impression that he is guilty of domestic violence when the tone of voice, that is alleged to be him, states the Oksana looks like a whore, has fake breasts and that she dresses in a provocative way; the male voice goes on to say that if she is attacked and raped by a pack of (N-word insulting name for African Americans) then she DESERVES that. 

No-one deserves to be raped EVER by ANYONE; and I think, if he did make those statesment that it will be hard to regain any semblance of respect from people who believe as I do that it is wrong to say such things as well as to believe it.   Also, the voice on the tape seems to dismiss Oksana by saying things such as I do not trust you, I don’t love you and I don’t want you; these are meant to tear down and diminish the context of their relationship.  It was a relationship that would not be condoned by the church because it was outside of a marriage situation; still, he chose to indulge in a relationship with her so to talk in such a way about her is insulting on many levels.   Whoa, talk about offensive!

I mean, obviously she was a good enough woman to have sex with; as evidenced by the birth of their child.  He was attracted to her enough for that.   He stepped outside of his marriage to have the relationship with Oksana.   Yet, in the same vein, she is a whore; beneath contempt evidenced by his alleged words.   These are the mixed up thoughts of a man who has not come to the understanding of the wholeness of an intimate relationship.  I mean, you can’t have sex with a person outside of marriage and condem them without also condeming yourself.  If she is a whore…then what makes him any different than her?  Is this self hate that he is directing at her because he can’t sort it out in his own head?  You have to wonder if his relationship with Oksana is the only illicit relationship that he has indulged in; maybe guilt is eating him alive.

How do you go from being in a marriage of over 30 years; to starting a new relationship with a woman who is not your wife, while still married and with whom you create a child; and then espouse your intense dislike and disrespect for that same person in such a way as to try to demean them as a person and as a woman.   Inflicting alleged verbal, emotional and physical abuse upon them for the very acts that you willingly engaged in; when you yourself are a willing participant in the relationship, is a difficult concept for people to understand.  If one is at fault, then both is at fault in the eyes of God, unless it is a forced sexual contact.

Emotions are very convoluted…mixed up with lust, anger, resentment, sadness and loathing not to mention guilt and embarassment.   The conscious is a complicated thing; when people go against their own moral or religious values to give in to sin or temptation…the spirit rebels.  Words and actions start to conflict with one another and it causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships.   The conscious is inside each of us to keep us from wrongdoing…it is a tool.  When we disregard the very core of our beings and choose to step outside of what we believe is right/wrong we end up punishing ourselves and others in ways that we don’t understand.

This is one loaded audio recording: if indeed Mr. Gibson said, let alone thought any of these things.   Then, it is indicative of a man eaten alive by a corrosive hate for not only those who are different from him by race or by being born female, as well.  Let’s remember, Oksana is the MOTHER of his child as much as Robyn is; although Robyn had every moral and legal right as his wife to have the fullness of marriage by having intimate relations with him and giving birth to his children.   Eventually Mel and Oksana’s young daughter Lucia will grow up and read of his rantings and judgements.   On the other side of things, Mel already has children, from his marriage, old enough to read and understand his words and deeds.   These kinds of words and actions are destructive to family relationships.   What must Robyn or his adult children think of his behavior…his thoughts, his words and his mindset?   Mel is still their father but they too must be trying to sort out this confusing circumstances.

Mel appears to be a man of conflicting images.  He is on one hand professionally praised by other actors and actresses and co-workers.  But, don’t you have to wonder how they feel, hearing of his feelings about women, race relations and appearances?  He was known for years as a family man to the public.   He was known for his Catholic beliefs.   He was a benefactor for children and agencies that helped them.  Yet, in the last few years he has had issues that have festered to the surface in public and in private.  Who is the real Mel Gibson?

It is just my observation but, Mel comes across to me as a man who is embroiled in inner conflicts that he does not know how to resolve.  A husband, father, family man/a man who was allegedly involved in a romantic relationship outside of his marriage vows, a good Catholic/yet a man who openly hates Jews (Jesus was a Jew), An actor and director who works with women in the entertainment industry who often dress provocatively for movie roles and for publicity; and, people of all skin colors and various religious beliefs, both behind the scenes and in film roles on the screen. 

People who are tormented with hatred of others, simply because of their own intolerence for people who are different from them, are the most miserable people.  Their intense dislike of others is caustic and hard to rally support for except from like-minded people who are also filled with judgement and hatred.  Usually there is also a large supply of self- hatred underneath it all which is masked by self-medicating behavior with drugs, alcohol, cutting or self maiming physical behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, or promiscuity; all of which are self destructive.  

What is needed is a healing of the physical, emotional and spiritual person.  Someone who fills up on hate or self destructive behaviors is someone who is trying to fill up empty spots or voids in their lives.  They don’t know how to heal and often will need professional help; such as legal intervention, sometimes medical help such as medication, psychological evaluations and treatment, and spiritual guidance which focuses on positive guidelines for building up an attitude of love, encouragement and peace.  Someone who has been indoctrinated since childhood with hate may require long term intervention before they are able to accept not only themselves but others on an equal footing or at least in an unconfrontational way of life.

A person’s legacy is a very important thing.  It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or not;  we alone determine the kind of legacy that we leave this earth with; by our thoughts, our actions, and by the way we make others feel.    We live such a short time on this earth so why spend it in turmoil, unhappiness, anger and violence.  Life is so much more rewarding when people find ways to live in peace, harmony, and love.  If you or someone you know is imploding from hatred in their heart and mind…please find help before you destroy yourself or others.

         There is great debate about whether this policy should or should not be in place.  The Provincetown school district superintendent, Beth Singer appears to be puzzled by the controversy; even though the policy has no age limitation.    This goes above and beyond regular sex ed where parents can opt out of certain aspects of a sex ed program because of their beliefs or their own choice in how they want to explain the facts of life to their children; but, this policy removes that option by eliminating a parent’s consent or awareness.

        The author of the policy believes that all students should be educated about the use of condoms regarding disease and pregnancy prevention along with other issues relating to sexual education.  News reports say that she believes the controversy is surprising, but good as it gets people discussing the issue.  She has said that the policy was not created with the intention of giving condoms to children in elementary school.   It will probably now be geared for middle school and up, if I understand this correctly.  However, I think that is wrong because even though it does happen, kids should NOT be having sex.  If they are having sex then it is up to the parents and that child/teen to discuss how things should be handled; it should be a private family matter.

      It seems that, the school committee that approved the policy will re-examine the way that the policy is written because opposition to the policy has arisen over the availability of condoms to grade school children without having to notify the  parents, of said students.   Golly, I wonder why the parents are so upset…I mean…it is not like the school is trying to take over the role of the parents or anything, right?  >by the way, that is SARCASM if you are not getting that without hearing the “tone” of my voice.

       My feeling is that anytime a school or agency tries to usurp the authority of a parent over their children… it is wrong.  By creating a situation where kids can skip going to their parents for something as important as birth control or a device meant to protect them while having sexual relations with another person (whether it be another minor or not) is a serious problem. 

         First of all, minors having sex is not ok.  It happens yes; yes it does.  However, our society is sending kids mixed messages about whether that is appropriate.  Everything they hear and see in the media is sexually charged.  Yet, legally (and morally) sexually activity with another minor is wrong.  It can get them brought up on charges.  A minor having sexual relations with an adult is illegal, and damaging emotionally, physically and spiritually.  

        Any sexual activity can expose them to sexually transmitted diseases.  It can damage them emotionally and socially at a time when they are just discovering who they are as an individual.  It can put them in a situation where they have to choose how to handle the consequences of a pregnancy; ie: raising the child, adoption, abortion and the after-effects of any of those choices.  A minor is not typically in a position to handle the life long implications of such choices; often their choices are made while in crisis.  They often do not have the finances, the education, the housing or the emotional maturity to handle the consequences of sexual behavior.   Sometimes decisions such as having an abortion, or making an adoption plan, can actually harm them permanently forcing them to seek professional help in the future.  

         No one knows your child like you the parent does.  You understand their emotional make up.  You know what they have gone through personally.  You the parent know their friends and their boyfriends/girlfriends.  It is you the parent who is/was their first teacher in life…they have learned a great deal from you from birth on.  This area of teaching is the parent’s responsibility.  It can be uncomfortable yes…but understand this…no agency or school is going to have your particular set of values on this subject.  They might get taught the mechanics of how sex happens and how to prevent pregnancy…but, they won’t get the personal/moral/religious viewpoint that you the parent has from some other authority in the exact same way as you, yourself would have your kids understand it.

         I understand that not all parents are created equally…some parents will shirk their responsibility or worse, they may care less what their kids are doing; let alone deal with any consequences.  There are abusive family situations as well…that IS when an agency is appropriate to step in and take over the parenting duties…when an adult parent is unfit.  In that situation, a school counselor, a trusted adult or even a member of clergy can be confided in to meet the needs of a kid who is in need of counseling regarding sexual behavior.  But, it is not fair to the parents who do take their leadership position as heads of their households away by superceding their parental authority.

          The fallout of damage to personal relationships due to the alienation of parental authority is real and can hurt your relationship with your child forever. 

          The mere fact of keeping the parents out of the decision making loop, in an area of life that has the potential of affecting their child for the rest of their life which allows them to keep those kind of secrets is unhealthy and just plain wrong. 

          I would hope that this policy helps people realize and respect how important these decisions are and allows them to be decided between parents, their children, and their own family’s medical/spiritual consultants.

       First off, I want to say that I did not join in or comment on her Twitter stream because I don’t think that she is looking so much for conversation about her choice to abort a pregnancy, as she is looking for agreement with her right to do so, as well as some notoriety.  She says that she was looking for support from her friends during the abortion. 

        See, the back story is that this woman has a 4 year old special needs son.  She lives with the child and her boyfriend (the father of this child she is trying to abort).  I wonder what he thinks…if he is as much in support of the public abortion as she is?  In her twitter stream she called this child she was carrying a “thing”, a thing that didn’t have sex organs yet; in relationship to another twitter persons tweet for life. 

         I am trying to imagine what a man would think about his child being called a thing?  What about grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins or the woman’s young son when he grows up…how do, or will, any of them feel about this abortion?  Should their opinions count?    How does abortion impact those who are in relationships with people who choose abortion as their path?  Does it create issues between them if they are in disagreement with the choice to have an abortion?

        According to the news articles that I have read, this adult woman had a first pregnancy which was allegedly life threatening to her.  She was “advised” not to get pregnant again because of that first pregnancy and the high risk that she endured.  So, from what I understand from the various articles on the subject…she decided that if she were to get pregnant again she would have an abortion to end it.  Obviously, whatever form of birth control they were using was not effective because she became pregnant.

       When she discovered that she was pregnant she allegedly tweeted that she was pregnant.  She found out early that she was indeed pregnant so that allowed her to use the chemical form of abortion called RU486.  Since she went this route…she has been tweeting the process.  Telling of the cramping, the bleeding, and all of the other gory details.  This process can take days.   This process of abortion can be  dangerous…but, she seems to believe that it is worth the risk. 

         I do not believe in abortion…and it seems to me that it is a gamble with her life either way…either from carrying the pregnancy as far as is humanly possible or, from having the abortion.   I would not wish a high risk pregnancy on anyone; however, I personally would have more respect for her had she tried to carry this baby to term.  Even if she did not want to raise the child…she could attempt to give it life and place the child for adoption.

        Some people have been very supportive of what she is doing…others are not.  After all, abortion is a very polarizing subject.  People react according to their personal beliefs, experiences,  and values.  This woman also says that she is an athiest.   From my visit to her Twitter stream I found her to be not only vocal about the abortion but also about religion and other subjects, such as foster care.  She like anyone in America has a right to voice her opinion.  Yet, she uses language that many would deem vulgar or filled with obsenities; hardly language that one would use to try to educate or pursuade another person towards their way of thinking on a particular subject.    She allegedly says that she is astonished at the level of reaction and attention that her attempt to “educate” people about abortion has attracted.

        I find that hard to believe.  I don’t think that you choose to go against traditional beliefs, values, and lifestyle without expecting others to have a strong reaction to it.  I happen to believe that for whatever reason, the very fact that many other people find her actions (regarding the abortion) and beliefs (religion) so wrong and offensive, gives her a sense of, her against the world… and I think in her mind, it empowers her.   Especially when those who oppose her strongly, wrongly attack her personally in their objection to what she has chosen to do.  Unfortunately, it seems that some people have even threatened her life…not only is that wrong…it is illegal.  The authorities will be involved in those situations appropriately, I am sure. 

       Understand, she is going to do what she wants to do; what we in this country have legally allowed her and any other woman that chooses to; and, that is to be able to legally abort the life of her child.  However, I myself do not wish to be watching her do what I myself find personally wrong.  I do believe in God and I believe in spiritual consequences.  She says that she doesn’t believe in God.  That is probably true…because I dont think it is easy to do what she is doing and have a close relationship with God…who i believe is the author of life. 

         A great number of women who have abortions suffer in later years because of their decision to abort.  They have emotional, physical and spiritual damage to their beings.  Some do not and continue to go on and have repeat abortions according to what their conscience dictates.  Legally this is allowed in the United States; it is unfortunate in my opinion.

        She doesn’t appear to care about my opinion or anyone elses probably.  By giving her more attention, it feeds the flames.  However, in my opinion the taking of the life of her child and throwing it away is wrong.  Once the child was conceived…it should have the right to be born.   What if she gets pregnant again in the future?  Why not pursue a permanent solution to her pregnancy potential?

          What about her life…the one that potentially could be threatened should she try to carry the baby (she calls it cells)?  Calling the baby a clump of cells is an attempt to deny the value of the life she carried.  Well, in my opinion…once she was told that it would be life threatening, in the future, for her to become pregnant; then, if she felt that she needed to protect her life…she either should have avoided sex (not practical) or she should have sought some permanent means of birth control such as having her tubes tied, or having a partial hysterectomy… or by choosing a sexual partner who had also taken drastic means of curbing the possibility of creating a pregnancy.   A combination of those choices would have ensured that she would not have become pregnant. 

         This whole subject opens to the door to a discussion about social media and what is acceptable, what will be allowed…what will people endorse or reject.  What are the socially acceptable standards or limitations?  Will we see someone comitting crimes and tweeting about it?  Or posting it on Facebook, or Myspace?  It is the testing of those limits that creates this drive to be the person that pushes the envelope.  It creates a media sensation or a backwards sort of fame.   It is horribly sad to me that in this case it was at the expense of the life of an unborn child.  What are your thoughts?

        Human trafficking or modern day slavery is nothing new unfortunately…it has been in existence since the beginning of time documented in the Bible even.  It is a horrible way to live and it is dehumanizing.  It must stop.  No one should own, buy, or sell another human being for sexual purposes or any other purpose.  Help to spread the awareness of it.  Help to educate people that even joking about or ignoring the prostitute on the street is ignorance of the fact that they may not be prostituting themselves willingly.  They may be a victim of human trafficking/modern slavery. 

        For those people who patronize prostitute, men or women, you may not only be guilty of illegal activity, immoral activity; but, also of an inhuman indecency by subjecting another human being to dehumanizing behavior.  There is a growing trend to visit other countries with the intent of sexual tourism…meaning going to other countries with the intention of using other people for their sexual pleasure.   

        Speak up, speak out tell someone that it is wrong….help someone who needs help by lending a hand to those who are homeless and on the streets, runaways who are vulnerable to those who prey on individuals who appear to be fragile and without a friend, with no one to turn to.  Get involved and call the authorities, talk to teens and tell them of the dangers.

         People disappear every day on the streets of America and all around the world; this includes men, women, teens, and children.  Where do they go, many individuals are never heard from again.  Those that are found and rescued have horrible tales to tell.  A life time of scars and emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual, and sexual healing to do. 

          Believe it or not, but there are actual networks of predators who buy/sell/trade human beings from one area to another all around the world.  Some individuals actually take vacations to other countries to take advantage of those in sexual servitude.  Speak out against such practices.  For updates on this subject and more please visit:  http://www.humantrafficking.org/updates/869

           When David announced details  on the show about the alledged blackmail attempt (which he reported to the authorities) David was applauded by some supporters as “being manly”; or, being proactive and taking the reins in the attempt to spin the public’s perception of the whole sordid situation.   I personally dont find it manly to sleep with co-workers casually and then make a joke out of it for public consumption on television.   

             There are some people who are “standing by their Letterman” no matter what.   When I hear them talking it makes me wonder what their personal values are…and I also wonder about the individuals that they are in a relationship are thinking.  Hmmm…if my significant other thinks it is ok for David Letterman to cheat in his relationship and sleep with his co-workers…then what is my significant other doing when I am not around…that is the kind of thoughts that would be running through my mind if my significant other was speaking out in support of David’s bad behavior. 

         Another thing, while David has spoken in jest about such matters…he has that smirk on his face (in my opinion)…which just doesn’t sit well with me.  It makes me think he is callous in his treatment of others or worse…that he is loving all of the chaos that this mess is causing and is giving him more attention and ratings than he could have hoped for.  Either way, I don’t like watching his cheesy grin while he devalues his relationship with Regina or those other woman by turning it into some kind of “hip” monologue to “entertain” people with.  

            There is some concern that all of the jokes that David (and others) are cracking in public is going to create a backlash for David and his image.  I say, are you serious?  Ok, so none of the women he had relationships with on his staff are complaining.   Still, some women’s organizations are complaining about his attitude toward women in the workplace.   Ok, so his wife has not made a public statement about her feelings on the situation.  Ok, some really big stars and supporters are saying …yeah well, David is the man, because he confronted the issue through his television show.  David has done plenty of bashing of other men, who were in similiar positions as him regarding inappropriate or immoral sexual behavior over the years. 

        I just want to say that I don’t find any of this a laughing matter…it really rather offends me that he is cracking jokes about such a serious situation; one that is causing hurt for so many people.  For those who are spiritually minded, this is a huge concern as it goes against most religious guidelines for proper or appropriate behavior; in fact, it is considered a sin by many. 

         Maybe David thinks this is the appropriate way to address the situation by laughing at it.  Hmmm…or maybe not.  Maybe he is attempting to put a spin on the damage or as they say, he is doing damage control.  Except…really, for a man who waited so many years to remarry…to have a young son…wouldn’t you think he would be concerned about how this is affecting those closest to him?  I have heard him apologize to his staff, and acknowledge that his actions have deeply hurt his wife Regina.  I heard him say that if one is responsible for causing that kind of hurt that they need to repair the damage.  It is easier said than done.

          Ok Dave…I am going to speak your language and give you some free advice.  Here are the top 10  ten reasons that you, David Letterman, need to stop laughing and making jokes about your actions in this situation.

Reason #10

People might think you would do it all over again-because you thanked your staff for standing by you when you got “yourself” into something stupid!   Hello…you got alot of people into something stupid.

Reason #9

You could lose your job over the situation.

Reason #8

You could lose viewers in the long run (even though the immediate numbers are up).

Reason #7

You could lose sponsors for the show-which in turn could cause you to lose your job.

Reason #6

You could have damaged marriages & family relationships for the people on your staff.

Reason #5

You have given your child plenty of counseling material for years to come-plus ammunition for school bullies to taunt your young son Harry…he may not always respect you, like you appear to have respected your father.

Reason #4

You have given your wife reason to doubt and mistrust your actions with present & future staff-this may have destroyed the trustibility in your marriage-costing you companionship, love, support, and half of your financial legacy.

Reason #3

You have damaged your relationship with your wife & mother of your only child-yes you were not married but you were in a relationship with her during the time of this alledged behavior.

Reason #2

You look like an insensitive jerk by laughing at a situation that affects thousands & thousands of your viewer’s marriages and relationships each and every day.

Reason #1

The other half of the story isn’t out yet…and there will be more information to come out.  The more you laugh now the more there could be to explain later…to the public, to those you have personal relationships with and to the authorities in a court room.  Your name will not just be known for your comedic skills and talents…it will be forever associated with sex, scandal, back room relationships…and negative publicity.  Your so called friends and supporters will distance themselves from you quicker than quick if the publicity takes a negative turn.   Oh and by the way, it just isn’t funny David Letterman!

         Right now, many people reading this are saying, yeah baby…more sex!  Seriously though, it is no laughing matter for those struggling to conceive a child and carry a healthy baby to term.  Many tests and techniques for conceiving a child, can take the joy out of lovemaking for a couple.  Often the advice given, takes away the spontaneity for many couples; and, the monthly cycles can truly become an emotional roller coaster.   

         The physical expression of love can become more like a task on the to do chore list, when the pregnancy doesn’t happen as quickly as the couple desires it to.  The  couple’s expectations can include extreme hope and optimisim; and,  it can include the reality for some of  serious doubt and depression.  What seems to happen so easily and naturally for some folks can seem like the impossible for others.  The stress and strain on those struggling with infertility can destroy relationships, with partners secretly and not so secretly, blaming themselves or their partner for the difficulty in becoming pregnant.  Emotions can play a big part in how a couple deals with the stress of fertility issues.

        Hopefully, this new research from Austrailia can help couples not to stress so much under the old restrictions partaining to limiting their physical relationship to every second or third day of the week.  Loving one another when it feels natural to do so, can only help things to feel more fulfilling and spontaneous.  If nothing else, increasing the opportunities for conception to take place may just increase your chances of becoming pregnant.  Whatever techniques and practices that remove second and third parties from the intimate aspect of conceiving must be a welcome idea to those who wish for a birth child.

       Your mother is drop dead gorgeous, talented and very feminine.  Your father a one time musician who ventured into politics and was known for his conservatism.  How do you “come out”?  If you are Chastity Bono…you are outed.  Over twenty years ago that was the exact scenerio that played out in Chastity’s life and in the media.

         If you are age 45 or older, you probably remember a dainty, blonde haired angel who made appearances on the Sonny and Cher entertainment television show.  America fell in love with their only child together.  When they divorced and Cher began a romance with Greg Allman and had another child…she became a big sister to her brother.  Her father later remarried also.   How does a parent reconcile their hopes, dreams and expectations for their only child when something this drastic happens in your family?

         It got complicated.  Her father apparently took the news of Chastity’s sexual orientation better than her mother did when they were both informed.  And yet, Sonny was into politics and didn’t support same sex rights.  Still, he loved his daughter.  Cher had a hard time accepting this part of her child’s life, according to old news stories…in her words…she freaked.  Time has gone a long way towards reconciling their relationships.  Sonny is gone now…having died in a freak skiing accident in 1998. 

          Chastity has become a gay activist over the years.  But she has not been in the media in an attention seeking way.  She has tried to live a quiet life; until now that is.

           Today, the news was inundated with the news that Chastity has decided to become transgendered.  She, from this point on, chooses to live her life as a man.  She will no longer go by the name of Chastity.  She will now be known as Chaz.  Whether she will actually have a surgery meant to change her physique…is not really being clarified.

            I am more interested in the emotional and spiritual transitioning that took place for her/him to arrive at this decision.  How unhappy and disoriented does a person have to be in the body they were born with, to decide to cause such upheaval in their life both publically and privately?  Chastity’s appearance has changed over the years; does this show her inability to accept herself as she was born?  If she/he goes through with this transgendered lifestyle…will the appearance match what he/she feels inside?     I mean surgery or no surgery, to go about making an announcement to the world, that you are for the rest of your life; the second half of your life (she is near 40 years old), that you are going to live  an identity, totally opposite from the  sexual identity with which you were born.

          Cher (if she chooses to support and accept it) will now have two sons…instead of a son and a daughter.   How does a parent flip the switch in their head when they consider all that this announcement will change?   Chastity/Chaz has asked for privacy during this transitioning time.  I don’t know if the media will allow it to happen that way.    I think that they will chew on this “story” for quite some time…wanting to wring every little detail out of it that they can.

            Whether there is surgery or not…trying to change such a major portion of your life is not going to be easy.  I am sure this has taken years to get to this place…this decision.  Some reports say that many who consider themselves transgendered dont actually have surgery…still they often feel trapped in a body that is in conflict with who they feel, they were meant to be. 

              I myself am conflicted about my thoughts and feelings.  I think that people need to be able to accept themselves to be happy; and yet, my faith says homosexuality is wrong.   I’ve been taught that God doesn’t make mistakes; some people in this situation would say that they were born with the wrong body.  I have to admit, I don’t know what to believe in this area.  I do know that no matter what…those who are in this situation, are created by God.  God loves them, just as he loves all of his children.   I know too, that many gay/lesbian people struggle in life with their identity and how they fit in our society.    Often they struggle with drug/alcohol/food addictions because they dont feel comfortable in their own skins.   It is hard to feel and live differently than most of the people around you.   I know that my faith says that God loves everyone; but, he  also says that homosexuality is wrong.  

            I think that gay bashing is wrong…and people who choose to harrass anyone for any reason is wrong.  People need love and support.  Hate crimes are illegal and immoral.   Some say that gay/lesbian people are born that way…others say that they have chosen that lifestyle; that they can change it.  Others will try to say that some traumatic experience “caused” the homosexual identification.  Some say it is a way of life and they do not have to act on those feelings.   Personally, I think having a compassionate heart is important in this situation.   What do you think?

           I would hope that Chastity/Chaz is in, or has been in, counseling to sort through all of the thoughts, feelings and circumstances that will find it’s way into their life.  In my heart, I guess that I would wish a path that was less of a variance from what is considered traditional male/female roles.  I understand that no matter what…there are those on both sides of the fence pro/con gay and lesbian lifestyle who will use this story to further their cause. 

         I would caution those who do, to remember that those who struggle with their sexual identity have emotions and feelings just like everyone else…they can be vulnerable to the reactions of those around them.  Morally, I leave it between them and God to work out.   God considers homosexuality a sin according to my Bible.  Yet, even so…he says love the sinner (we all are sinners) and hate the sin. 

            The first 40 years of her life Chastity lived as a woman; albeit an unconventional woman.  The second half of her life she plans to live it as a male.  Is this truly possible without self destructing?  Spiritually, anyone on this path must search their hearts and minds to try and make sense of their identity in the world and in their relationship with the creator of Heaven and Earth.    What are your thoughts on this subject?

        I think it is a powerful image.  To me it shows the human need to touch another; to give and receive comfort and strength from one human being to another.  It also shows the helplessness of the child in the womb.  It is so very dependent on those of us who are alive and grown.  It should be instinctual to protect the unborn; but, unfortunately there are many who believe in the right to chose to destroy a fetus (unborn child).   Why should one life be more valuable, or have the right to take the life of another simply because the unborn have no say in the matter?  God is the creator of life…only God should also be the one to decide who lives and who dies.

       This photograph was discussed in Congress when debates were taking place regarding partial birth abortions and the prospect of banning them.  That is the power of this image; the partial birth abortion ban was passed in 2000.   I wonder, how could anyone have an abortion after seeing that picture?  I feel for those who have had an abortion in the past and come to regret it.  I often think that women are not fully educated to all the damage that occur by choosing an abortion.  Many lives are destroyed after the fact by guilt, depression and sadness.  We need to support women of all ages who find themselves in the situation of an unplanned pregnancy.  I think the fragility and strength of  life, while a child is still in it’s mother’s womb, is amazing both for the mother and child.  What beauty the photographer, Michael Clancy, captured at that exact moment.

          With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend…i wondered, what this photograph says to you?  Life is precious…encourage those around you to respect it and to protect it!  If you have been blessed by being born healthy, or, you have conceived a child and value the gift of life…could you support the  March of Dimes?  http://www.marchforbabies.org/

        Bristol experienced a teen pregnancy, that resulted in the birth of her son Tripp, during Sarah’s campaign.  Bristol has been questioned as  a controversial role model because of her pregnancy.  She has been used as an example for both sides of the issue concerning teen pregnancy.  She is a Christian and of course, having premarital sex goes against traditional teachings.  She did, in fact, become pregnant and has been in the public limelight during that time.   She herself was not a public figure…her mother was; but, the family was put on stage during the campaign.   

           People have felt comfortable commenting on her situation; both pro and con.   Those who have supported Bristol have touted the fact that she chose to give birth to her son, as opposed to an abortion.  I too applaude that fact.  I also think that she is dealing with the reality of being a young, single mother.  She is lucky in the fact that both her parents, Sarah and Todd Palin are willing to help her out by supporting her and her son.  This is part of the equasion for many families who experience an unexpected teen pregnancy. 

          The realities are that not every teenager who finds themselves in the position of becoming a parent, at such a young age, has a stable home life; with parents who are willing to help them out and support them financially, or emotionally…let alone, enabling them to continue pursuing their education.  Many have to drop out of school to work to support their child or having to apply for financial aid through tax payer dollars.  It is a struggle in a variety of ways.   Not only are there educational concerns, financial, health, but also the social consequences; teen miss out on the carefree lifestyles that their friends are able to enjoy in their high school years once a child is born to them.

          Bristol has taken on the responsibility as a teen parent, while trying to complete her education.   During the campaign both she and her son’s father Levi Johnston were planning on getting married; they have since broken up.  In recent weeks, he has been giving interviews about private aspects of their relationship.    Bristol has said in interviews that it is best to abstain from having sex as a teen…however, she also said that it isn’t realistic.  On Good Morning America with Chris Cuomo today, she said that last comment was taken out of context.   While it is difficult to abstain, she said that there is no other way to 100% prevent pregnancy other than waiting to have sex.

        Since Bristol and Levi are no longer together, they are still trying to sort out how their relationship with one another and with their child will work.  Levi has taken his concerns and his complaints about visitation to the media.  Bristol’s family has set some guidelines about how that should happen; such as visiting with Tripp at the Palin’s home.  Levi has allegedly struggled with continuing his education and with employment issues as well as some potential legal issues regarding his mother-allegedly being arrested for drug charges. 

        As tragic as this family drama appears to be in some ways, they will find their way.  People around the world struggle with the same issues of visitation, custody, support, education, living conditions, financial stability…and developing and maintaining relationships. 

        While life conditions continue to change, as is normal in the life of a person coming out of their teen years into adulthood, they will have to adjust their expectations and responsibilities while they attempt to meet their own needs and that of their child.  Sometimes teen parents stay together and form a family that lives and grows together…others seperate and form lives seperate from each other.    New romantic and personal relationships are formed and must be adjusted to as potential parental figures come into the life of a child of teen parents.  These difficulties can be overcome and can be turned into a good solid foundational family system that works…but, it is something that must be continually encouraged for the well- being of everyone involved.  Of course, if teen pregnancy can be prevented this would be better for everyone involved.

          The Candies Foundation was formed back in June 2001.  They have used ambassadors who are popular and in the public eye.  I do think that they should make deliberate choices of people who dont promote sensual or sexualized images in their work outside of the Candies Foundation, since it is working towards preventing teen pregnancies.  To me, using people who have careers in the public eye who use some form of sensual/sexual appeal, such as in the music industry, movies or television, comes across as sending mixed messages.    The persuasive power that celebrity role models have on the teen population has a big impact on the behaviors of teens as they are growing up.

         I am sure there will continue to be controversy surrounding Bristol Palin’s choices, as she puts herself in this platform for public discussion on preventing teen pregnancies.   I hope that people remember not to try to politicize this issue; as the goal to prevent teen pregnancy should be across the board no matter what someone’s political views are.    I do think that it is admirable that she is tying to make something positive happen from her situation.   The real issue is though; whether teens will listen to and respect her viewpoint regarding their own choices about becoming sexually active.   What do you think?