A lot has been said about Jack Kevorkian in the media over the years.  For many years he used the media to get his message across to people around the world; he felt that people should be allowed to take their own lives.  He allegedly thought physicians should be allowed to assist them by providing the means (medicine) to accomplish that goal.  Many individuals (allegedly over 100 people) with chronic illness or disease, who were suffering, sought him out to help them end their lives.   He was eventually convicted of murder by prosecutors and served approximately 8 years in prison; but, he was released early because of his own medical conditions.

His battle with public perceptions and the public’s moral and legal viewpoint, on his stance towards assisted suicide, opened up many conversations around the world.  If nothing else, I do believe that the media attention helped people to examine their own beliefs about the idea of assisted suicide and the concept of whether people should have end of life choices when faced with chronic illnesses or diseases.

My own personal feelings aside, I can’t help but wonder as Jack was stripped of his medical license after being in prison for assisting suicides in the past; if he could have, would he have taken his own life at the end?

I mean, Jack’s life and career appeared to revolve around death and dying.  He didn’t have access to his machine, that he invented to assist those who wanted to commit suicide, while he struggle with his illness in the hospital.  Still, he has had health problems for years…which was part of the reason he was released early from prison.

One wonders, why didn’t he commit suicide himself during that time.  Could it be that he realized the value in living even while chronically ill?  Did he ever regret helping others to commit suicide?  Publicly he remained defiant…but, when released from prison he agreed to no longer assist people with their suicides.  Still, if he would have taken his own life…there is nothing that the legal system could have done to him after his death.   He chose not to do that…and I am glad.

It is said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation.  There are reports of people who have attempted suicide and somehow survived who report being glad that their attempt failed. Suicide leaves many victims…the survivors or loved ones of people who are successful at taking their own lives struggle with many issues.

Suicide prevention is important because people are in distress when they consider taking such an extreme action.  Those stresses are intense…but often they are fleeting situations and if a person has an intervention that helps preserve their life than can go on and live a rewarding life (even if it is hindered by disease or illness).  For those of us who have moral convictions about the idea of suicide, it is with sadness to hear of someone losing their life to suicide whether it is assisted or not. The subject is emotionally charged for most people…those who believe in the right to take their own life and those who believe it is wrong to do so.

Having lost a loved one myself, this week, after a long battle against a chronic disease; I can only imagine how much more complex the loss would have been, had that person chosen to take his own life.  He suffered greatly, and yet he struggled to live; was he ever tempted to take his own life?  I am sure there were moments when the pain became too much to bear…and yet, he fought for every moment he was allowed to have with his friends and family.

What are your thoughts on death and dying…Jack Kevorkian or assisted suicides?  Our condolences to his friends and family at their loss.

The thing is, death is permanent.  Suicide is a false solution to their problem.   Problems, even problems that seem overwhelming and beyond a person’s ability to see past it…problems come and go.  Life is full of them…big, small, and in-between problems.   There is hope…but they may need help in seeing it and believing in getting beyond what is troubling them.   However, if a person’s coping skills are influenced by depression, abuse, post traumatic stress, neglect or drug/alcohol abuse then, they may mistakenly think that suicide is a way out.

There is no way around it…destruction is close at hand when a person is to the point of thinking about suicide IF they do not seek professional help to deal with whatever is driving them to this point.  Sometimes, an individual is beyond seeking help on their own power; and a family member, friend or acquaintance is forced to intervene by contacting either a health care professional, a member of clergy or spiritual adviser, or the police in some cases to force a person to seek help.  This is not easy and the laws regarding forcing someone to seek help are different in each state.

It is a hard decision to even consider stepping in.  Most of us don’t want to be put in the position of interfering in another person’s personal life.   In fact, most people will err on the side of caution and allow desperate situations to go on too long.  Out of respect for that person’s privacy we might tip toe around the subject hoping not to offend.  I say it is better to possibly offend a person than to lose them to suicide; if you are wrong and they are not suicidal, you can always let them know that you cared enough about them to risk their upset, rather than risk losing them to suicide.

Still, I bring all of this up because recently it seems that there have been a rash of suicides.  Some of them made the news, some of them were in local communities and some of them affected people that I know.  It makes me sad because there is always a high cost when a person takes their own life; it isn’t only the person who dies who suffers either.

Suicide can affect anyone.  Shock is the most obvious reaction when someone takes their life.  The people who knew them will often say…I had no idea that they were thinking about it.  Suicide can be in the mind of your parent, child, spouse, clergy/spiritual leader, teacher, friend, an isolated elder, neighbor, a member of our military personnel…or, just about anyone who is living or breathing.  Just so you know, it doesn’t matter how much money they have, where they live or who they know…suicide can be lurking in the mind of a person who is having a difficult time in their life.

You see, friends, acquaintances, and loved ones of people who commit suicide suffer terribly in their grief.  They chase their thoughts round in round about what they missed, how they could have helped, what could have been done differently, why they still live when the person who died is gone.  Some even need counseling to deal with their emotions for a very long time.  Many even get to the point where they, too, struggle with finding joy in life because they feel guilty for having moments of joy, laughter, successes or celebrations.

The person who has died does not know this.  They no longer are capable of seeing how their death affects people who are left behind.   Even people in their community who barely knew them.  You see, we all have an impact in this life whether you realize how many lives you touch or not…every life has value.

People struggle in life…we can help those at risk of suicide by trying to be aware of what they are going through.  Most of us are not qualified to help someone through severe depression or feelings of ending it all by committing suicide…but, we can all be more aware of the signs of when someone is in trouble.  We can urge someone to seek medical/emotional/spiritual professional help.  We can be encouragers, listeners and friends.  Get the phone numbers and addresses of counselors, organizations and mental health care providers in your area.  In an emergency, call 911 if you feel someone is in danger.  You might not only save their life…but you might save an innocent bystander as well.

There was a tragic story yesterday of a woman who was involved in an alleged domestic situation where there was great emotional turmoil.  Her Aunt called the authorities after the woman called a family member and said they would all have to forgive her because she was about to do something crazy.  Her children’s father was allegedly cheating on her.  This distraught New York woman, allegedly put her four children into her vehicle and drove two minutes from her home off of a ramp into some water…killing herself and three of her children.  Her fourth child, a ten year old, managed to roll down a window and by a miracle got out of the vehicle alive.  Her very young children never had a chance.  It sounds like law enforcement was there within 17 minutes…but, it only took her two to drive into the water.   What horrible consequences to a temporary situation.

In her apparent desperation, this was her solution to the problem of a cheating spouse.  It made sense to her at the time.  To those of us outside of her situation; we can see how desperate and out of control she had to be to endanger not only herself, but her children’s life.  Whether he really was cheating or not, it doesn’t matter (well it does…but, that is between him and God); but, her belief that he was cheating triggered her suicidal and homicidal response.  This is a tragedy all the way around.

There are survivors…not only the ten year old child who will struggle to have a normal life since he survived and his siblings did not…but there are other relatives, the spouse, the neighbors, the children’s school mates, church members, community members and so on.  This kind of thing leaves a big scar.

I want to share with you information about awareness and the prevention of suicide by printing a link to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Organization.

We live in a time of great stress.  We have wars going on, natural disasters, man-made disasters, terrorism, accidents, financial losses and domestic violence…you get the idea.  Update:  Last night the news shared even more devastating news about the New York mom who drove into the Hudson River with her children in the car.  It seems that after she drove in she realized what she had done was a mistake.  Her 10 year old child said, She kept saying “I made a mistake, I made a mistake”.  This is so sad…but it does illustrate my earlier point…the person in distress doesn’t really want to die or in this case cause others to die…they just want the pain to end.

However, there are products being labeled as “bath salts” that are powders packed in small tea bag sized envelopes and advertised as legal substitutions; merely to make money.  They are  being sold on the shelves of convience stores, truck stops and head shops all around the country; as well as online.  They are marketed as bath salts, when those who produce these products know full well that they are not being used for that purpose.

Those who produce, market or sell these items should be held accountable for those who have had their lives destroyed by their products. Their intended use is for individuals who are looking for a drug induced high.  Business selling them should be forced to removed them from their stores in my opinion.  In fact, some states & communities are banning their sales…but, we need to increase awareness of this issue; before the use of these products becomes more widespread.

The powders are snorted, smoked or injected.  This product is equal in intensity to meth in it’s effects on the human body and mind.  It can be addictive even when the user experiences terrible effects during usage.  Some people have committed murder, attempted suicide or just gone on a violent, destructive bender while using these products.  Emergency rooms, police and poison control centers are seeing an increase in calls in areas where these products are being sold.

Children and adults can purchase a package of “bath salts” for approximately $20 or so.  Unfortunately these things can be purchased online too.  A parent seeing one of these packages may not realize that it is a drug with very harmful effects.  These products have names like Cosmic blast, Vanilla Sky, Red Dove, White Lightning, Hurricane Charlie, and Bliss or Ivory Wave…they sound like a generic aromatherapy type of product; these packages are anything but.  It is un-believable that this product is allowed to be sold; knowing that lives are being ruined.  These legal substitutes are chemical stimulants designed to achieve a physical/psychological high and are extremely deadly.  They have strong stimulants inside the packages which closely copy the effects on the body like speed or ephedra.

The problem is that these legal substitutes are not something that the DEA regulates.  However, the damage these drugs do is causes dangerous reactions that often produce paranoia, violence and psychological terror that can not only endanger the user (who willingly takes that chance); but also affects anyone who is unfortunate enough to run into someone under the influence of such an un-predictable drug.

Some people abusing these bath salts, have described seeing visions of, aliens, devils or demons and attacking themselves or others because of those visions.  If you see this stuff being sold…report it to the authorities.  If you know someone using these products get them help immediately; report it to a poison control center and get them in to see medical personnel right away before they harm themselves or someone else.  Schools should be prepared for the influence of these products as well by having drug counselors on speed dial.  Educating individuals who are susceptible to the influence of using drugs to escape reality is going to be very important as this trend becomes more commonly known.   Becoming aware of this trend of abusing bath salts could help you spot the danger and help to save  lives.

      Many people don’t realize the extent of the problem of homeless youth.  They are at risk for drugs & alcohol addictions, prostitution, violence, human trafficking, HIV, suicide, teen pregnancy, abuse, abortion, early death, mental & physical health problems, and crime & imprisionment.  It doesn’t have to be this way.

       Tellman started out with this challenge in Battery Park in New York in September of 2009; he plans to end the journey within 99 days in California at the Santa Monica Pier.   He has been documenting his journey as he goes.  He started in September as I said, and the route has changed some; which is good considering that winter has fallen in many parts of the northern & eastern states.  He is meeting great people along the way.

         Tellman Knudson believes that the homeless youth are great problem solvers and are good at surviving.  He wants to harness those skills and teach them to reduce their risk- related behaviors; and, to get themselves out of whatever kind of dangerous situations that they are living in.  After he has accomplished that, he hopes to be able to teach them business and life skills using their unique problem solving abilities.  That $100 million dollars will be put to good use.  Tellman knows that this is a group of individuals worth saving…he was once a troubled youth himself who faced many challenges including a debilitating leg condition which hindered his ability to even walk well.   http://runtellmanrun.com/press-and-sponsors/who-is-tellman/

        He has suffered a severely brused, painful heel condition which required him to recently reduce his running schedule.  He has been advised by a doctor to only run 3 miles a day and to only run 5 days a week instead of the 7 that he was running.  This will of course add time to his original plan of running this journey in 99 days time.  No matter, he is following doctors orders and doing as he is told so that he can still achieve his goal.  In the meantime….

       Tellman Knudson is in Atlanta, today, trying to raise funds in the internet community at the Sheraton Hotel where a seminar is being held with many of his friends and supporters.  He asks that we wish him luck; but, I say…even more than that…send him money!  If you go to his page you can donate online, what do you say…are the youth of today worth investing in?  http://runtellmanrun.com/   This isn’t just a holiday charity drive…this is Tellman’s purpose and passion…won’t you help?

       Your mother is drop dead gorgeous, talented and very feminine.  Your father a one time musician who ventured into politics and was known for his conservatism.  How do you “come out”?  If you are Chastity Bono…you are outed.  Over twenty years ago that was the exact scenerio that played out in Chastity’s life and in the media.

         If you are age 45 or older, you probably remember a dainty, blonde haired angel who made appearances on the Sonny and Cher entertainment television show.  America fell in love with their only child together.  When they divorced and Cher began a romance with Greg Allman and had another child…she became a big sister to her brother.  Her father later remarried also.   How does a parent reconcile their hopes, dreams and expectations for their only child when something this drastic happens in your family?

         It got complicated.  Her father apparently took the news of Chastity’s sexual orientation better than her mother did when they were both informed.  And yet, Sonny was into politics and didn’t support same sex rights.  Still, he loved his daughter.  Cher had a hard time accepting this part of her child’s life, according to old news stories…in her words…she freaked.  Time has gone a long way towards reconciling their relationships.  Sonny is gone now…having died in a freak skiing accident in 1998. 

          Chastity has become a gay activist over the years.  But she has not been in the media in an attention seeking way.  She has tried to live a quiet life; until now that is.

           Today, the news was inundated with the news that Chastity has decided to become transgendered.  She, from this point on, chooses to live her life as a man.  She will no longer go by the name of Chastity.  She will now be known as Chaz.  Whether she will actually have a surgery meant to change her physique…is not really being clarified.

            I am more interested in the emotional and spiritual transitioning that took place for her/him to arrive at this decision.  How unhappy and disoriented does a person have to be in the body they were born with, to decide to cause such upheaval in their life both publically and privately?  Chastity’s appearance has changed over the years; does this show her inability to accept herself as she was born?  If she/he goes through with this transgendered lifestyle…will the appearance match what he/she feels inside?     I mean surgery or no surgery, to go about making an announcement to the world, that you are for the rest of your life; the second half of your life (she is near 40 years old), that you are going to live  an identity, totally opposite from the  sexual identity with which you were born.

          Cher (if she chooses to support and accept it) will now have two sons…instead of a son and a daughter.   How does a parent flip the switch in their head when they consider all that this announcement will change?   Chastity/Chaz has asked for privacy during this transitioning time.  I don’t know if the media will allow it to happen that way.    I think that they will chew on this “story” for quite some time…wanting to wring every little detail out of it that they can.

            Whether there is surgery or not…trying to change such a major portion of your life is not going to be easy.  I am sure this has taken years to get to this place…this decision.  Some reports say that many who consider themselves transgendered dont actually have surgery…still they often feel trapped in a body that is in conflict with who they feel, they were meant to be. 

              I myself am conflicted about my thoughts and feelings.  I think that people need to be able to accept themselves to be happy; and yet, my faith says homosexuality is wrong.   I’ve been taught that God doesn’t make mistakes; some people in this situation would say that they were born with the wrong body.  I have to admit, I don’t know what to believe in this area.  I do know that no matter what…those who are in this situation, are created by God.  God loves them, just as he loves all of his children.   I know too, that many gay/lesbian people struggle in life with their identity and how they fit in our society.    Often they struggle with drug/alcohol/food addictions because they dont feel comfortable in their own skins.   It is hard to feel and live differently than most of the people around you.   I know that my faith says that God loves everyone; but, he  also says that homosexuality is wrong.  

            I think that gay bashing is wrong…and people who choose to harrass anyone for any reason is wrong.  People need love and support.  Hate crimes are illegal and immoral.   Some say that gay/lesbian people are born that way…others say that they have chosen that lifestyle; that they can change it.  Others will try to say that some traumatic experience “caused” the homosexual identification.  Some say it is a way of life and they do not have to act on those feelings.   Personally, I think having a compassionate heart is important in this situation.   What do you think?

           I would hope that Chastity/Chaz is in, or has been in, counseling to sort through all of the thoughts, feelings and circumstances that will find it’s way into their life.  In my heart, I guess that I would wish a path that was less of a variance from what is considered traditional male/female roles.  I understand that no matter what…there are those on both sides of the fence pro/con gay and lesbian lifestyle who will use this story to further their cause. 

         I would caution those who do, to remember that those who struggle with their sexual identity have emotions and feelings just like everyone else…they can be vulnerable to the reactions of those around them.  Morally, I leave it between them and God to work out.   God considers homosexuality a sin according to my Bible.  Yet, even so…he says love the sinner (we all are sinners) and hate the sin. 

            The first 40 years of her life Chastity lived as a woman; albeit an unconventional woman.  The second half of her life she plans to live it as a male.  Is this truly possible without self destructing?  Spiritually, anyone on this path must search their hearts and minds to try and make sense of their identity in the world and in their relationship with the creator of Heaven and Earth.    What are your thoughts on this subject?

       If you grew up during the 70′s like I did…you remember him from his television days.  He  was on Gunsmoke.     Most noteworthy to a kid growing up during that time; he was a wise man on the show.  He was seeking wisdom to grow and learn.   Kids all around the nation wanted to be like “young grasshopper” with an adult who took the time to mentor him in life lessons.

         Kung Fu made a huge impression on a whole generation of young Americans.  It opened the door to learning martial arts for many.  David, and his show, made it cool to study the various forms of martial arts.   The show put David in a bit of a leadership position with his fans.   Today, we  sadly, learned that David Carradine was found dead of a suspected suicide in Bankok, Thailand.   His body was discovered nude, hanging with a hotel curtain cord around his neck. 

          Some people who know him say, he would not have taken his life, at this time; even though, he struggled with suicidal thoughts in his past years.  Those who do not believe he committed suicide say that his career was in an upswing and so was his personal life.   A few years ago, his career took on a new life with the movie, Kill Bill.  He had pretty much been out of the entertainment industry, until then.   David had made statements to others about his suspicion that, not many industry leaders were willing to give him roles as he aged .  After appearing in Kill Bill, he began working again; in fact, he was in Bankok, Thailand to film a new movie.  He had only been at the hotel for a few days when he was found dead.   

        At this point, suicide is only suspected; but, David’s death appears suspicious, at least to his personal co-manager, Tiffany Smith.  David was found in a sitting position in the closet with the cord wrapped around his neck, penis, and the closet rod.   The authorities have said there doesn’t appear to be any assault, no forced entrance to his room, no obvious crime; so, I guess that means the authorities don’t suspect that he was murdered.   No news has been released about whether there was a suicide note or not.  In fact, some say it had to be an accident, those who know him say he would never commit suicide. 

        If it’s true that he didn’t commit suicide and he wasn’t murdered…then what, an accident?  That seems a bit difficult to understand.  I mean, how does a curtain cord  accidently get taken down and wrapped around the throat of a nude person; unless it is something called the ”choking game”.   Sometimes there is a sexual component to the choking game; there are those who use the lack of oxygen to “enhance” their sexual pleasure.   The choking game is an accident waiting to happen.   It is a serious and dangerous activity; one that has become a threat around the world.    http://www.stop-the-choking-game.com/en/choking.html    It is  dangerous because, there is always the danger that the person could lose consciousness and die without meaning to.  

      In that kind of situation, I guess it could be considered an accident when someone waits too long to loosen the cord or binding around their neck.   That is not to say that, this is what happened to David Carradine…but, there are definately alot of questions surrounding David’s death.    His family is asking for privacy at this time, they respected him, loved him and were apparently close to him.  They are shocked and grieving the loss of a loved one.  It is hard enough to lose a loved one, let alone to have to do it in the eye of the public and in mysterious circumstances to boot.

           There is an autopsy being performed; hopefully, it will help to put some of the questions surrounding his death to rest.  Whether it was suicide or something else…there is still pain and grief for his family, friends, co-stars, and fans.   It is a sad end for a talented man who appeared to try to live his life with dignity.  We wish to extend sympathy to all who knew him; or, to those who felt like they did because of the roles he performed and, the impact on their lives from watching him over the years.  Rest in peace David Carradine.

        If you know someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts…please…please call:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ .  

         This man allegedly already had a record for assault and for driving under the influence in previous years.  His wife was also allegedly arrested in the last couple of months for domestic violence.  This family evidently struggled with these issues.  Was there no intervention?  I am sure that there must have been someone, somewhere who was concerned about these family members and what they were going through.  If measures were taken to help or intervene; then, for whatever reason…it was not successful.   It is a terrible thing when people who supposedly love each other can cause so much hurt and destruction to the people that they claim to love. 

         The 13 year old will be staying with family news reports say.   However, he will need much help to process what happened to his family.  He will need  intervention to overcome the damage that was done to his heart and his soul.  Abuse is a painful merry-go-round; that if not stopped, will continue to destroy.  I pray that this young fellow gets intensive counseling to help him heal, not only the terror that he experienced…but, quite probably the survivor’s guilt that most people who survive such situations experience; so that he can somehow find the strength to go on and live a happy and productive life, free from domestic violence.    After all, how can anyone expect a person who was hunted by his father, a person that most children expect to protect them from violence, to ever find it comfortable to trust another human being?  This will impact the rest of his life in ways too difficult to count.

          The questions that run through a person’s mind about how a father can pick up a weapon and shoot and kill his children and his wife and himself; are questions that really can never be answered, with a satisfying answer.  It is hard for adults to understand, let alone a child.  And yet, for his healing and recovery…there has to be some kind of explanation; whether it be drugs/alcohol addiction, mental illness, or anger management issues that were not treated successfully.   He will need to ask those questions and have some kind of answer that can help him to “understand…the impossible to understand”.

         True love doesn’t intentionally seek to hurt or destroy.   The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5.) It is not rude, it is not sel-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, 6.) Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. 7.) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8.) Love never fails.     If a relationship is filled with regular moments of  violence, control, humiliation, emotional or verbal abuse…then, that is a toxic relationship; it is not a healthy love relationship.   People in that situation need  an intervention by medical and psychological professionals; as well as law enforcement, clergy, and court personnel.  Please, help break the chain of violence. 

www.ndvh.org

www.cdc.gov/ncipc/dvp/dvp.htm

www.ncadv.org/

       Both Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul allegedly felt threatened.   With Paula Abdul’s recent experience with an obssessed fan’s, Paula Goodspeed, suicide near her home…it is understandable that she would be a bit wary; however, i think had they concentrated on Mark Mudd’s tone of voice…maybe they would have heard a clue that tipped the balance of common sense that the statement held no threat of future violence.  The judge’s alleged perception of the statement was influenced by the alleged failure of the audition to get the performer on the program as a contestant.

       The audition was in Louisville, Kentucky; and in that region of the country, and others, “be careful” is a common phrase spoken in parting.   I do it myself…it is the way i grew up…it is a caring way to part company; it expresses concern for the other person’s well-being.  

         All in all, this example of the importance of tone of voice is a learning lesson.  People do it all of the time, they speak without considering how their words communicate their intent.    We can learn to really listen to each other, watch the other person’s body language and consider the relationship of their words, to the situation in which the conversation is taking place….in other words, using common sense to evaluate a person sincerity and intent.   So, “be careful” in how you communicate; in your business, in your relationships, and in your speaking…both in public and in private.  Have a great day!

      Seriously, I have a hard time understanding this phenomenon; barring mental illness; I can’t understand the murder-suicide situations between people who claim to love one another; unless it is put in the perspective of deperate people who feel like they have no other option.  How can someone take the life of the person/persons that they live with, take care of, provide for, protect,  and nurture?  Temporary suffering from financial difficulties, or family problems or divorce or any other reason is better than death.  Doing harm to another human being (especially a family member) is not  saving anyone from anything!  Harming yourself is not going to change anything for the better either.  Revenge is another reason why some people commit murder-suicide. 

        During the holidays, there was the Santa shooter who tried to wipe out his whole former in-laws and ex-wife.  He managed to murder quite a few of them and eventually took his own life; albeit, only because he was injured in the fire that he started and he evidently was in considerable pain.  In that particular case, he was going through a divorce and even though he was not living with those family members….at one time he was part of that family.  How do you take the lives of people that you have lived with, loved, dined with, made love to, taken care of when they were sick and so on?

       People who are mentally disturbed, seriously depressed or have a brain injury usually have caring people or a caseworker/guardian/family member around them who are aware of their issues, are tuned into their well-being or lack of; and they are in touch with their medical/psychological health providers, when they feel that things are not right with that person.    Getting appropriate medical/mental help for someone who is struggling is very important…sometimes it has to be sought against their will; but, still it needs to be done.   Typically, there are clues that all is not well with someone who is struggling with feelings of suicide or murder.

       What amazes me, are those situations when we hear that someone who seemingly appears healthy mentally, suddenly does something so out of the range of normal for their personality and commits  a crime  such as a murder-suicide with their loved ones as victims; whether it be a spouse or their children.  How can someone go from being a loving family member to someone who can do bodily harm to their family?  It escapes my logic. 

       I know in our country we are going through alot of stresses.  People are getting desperate financially, loosing their homes, their jobs, their investments,  retirement benefits, their medical coverage…these types of things can cause undue pressure to build up…causing people to do desperate things.  Help is available out there:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

        What i want to say is…please seek help.  Please find someone to confide in who can support you with ideas or solutions; let them be your sounding board.  Maybe finding help through an agency or foundation can help to lift some of those extra-ordinary pressures on people who are struggling under the weight of the world on their shoulders.   Don’t try to go it alone.  Don’t keep your feelings of frustration, anger, despair, depression or isolation to yourself.  Talk to a member of the clergy, talk to a counselor, seek financial advice from someone who may be able to direct you to a path of healing.

       I hate hearing of the lives that were destroyed.  The husband/father, wife/mother, sister/brother, child/grandchild or in-laws.  These murder-suicide choices cannot be reversed; it can not be undone.  It doesn’t solve anything.  If there are any survivors…they can have long term health issues, mental health issues, disability and much more financial bills due to the violence visited upon them…not to mention…if the person committing the violence lives….prison or a death sentence is in their future. 

       The person committing the violence will have a long lengthy trial to go through, psychological evaluations to endure….and maybe life in prison.    Guilt and depression can become a lifelong companion.  There are friends,family, children, neighbors, and acquaintances who will suffer from the tragedy as well.  Please, if you know someone who is struggling with these feelings…please encourage them to seek help.   Can you make a difference in someone’s life by encouraging them?  Give them a resource such as this National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 

     All of this pressure has built up in the last year since young Caylee was reported missing and her body was, recently, discovered.  His daughter Casey was arrested for Caylee’s murder and both he and his wife has had to deal with Caylee’s death, family drama, invasive media, and his daughter’s arrest.  I am sure that the death, and his family’s initial feelings of denial of Caylee’s death, as well as the realization that she is gone has led to depression and a general overall feeling of being  filled with overwhelming stress.

       These issues are often overlooked by many when people watch the news…the truth is, that the long arm of the law has consequences for more than just the suspect in a case of murder  or criminal behavior.  There is much to deal with, for the friends and family members of the victims and the suspects who are involved.

     The emotional effects of just not being able to grieve properly for the loss of his grandchild is devastating.  First thing, no one knew for sure that Caylee was in fact dead.  She was missing and her mother Casey was telling conflicting stories.  George had to give information to the police at one time that many speculated was not all positive…that had to be a horrible experience for him.  There were search parties out looking for Caylee…this went on for months with little results.  Then there were alledged reported sightings of Caylee which turned out to be false.  In the meantime, the media was invading the Anthony’s personal space.  Conflict was a daily thing.

       George’s wife was giving interviews that alledgedly seemed to conflict with statements she made to the police and to her co-workers about a smell in Casey’s car…that smelled like a dead person.  That must have added to interpersonal problems in their family.  Their son, Casey’s brother, also was drawn into the fray with statements that he made that was reported in the media.  This is a family was that under a microscope.  Then came the confirmation recently that young Caylee’s body was found thrown away in a trash bag.

         The details of that are heartbreaking.  She was put inside of a laundry bag with a winnie the pooh blanket, with some pullups and with a knife…her little mouth was covered with duct tape that had residue from a heart shaped sticker put on the tape over her mouth; that tape was attached to her hair.  Her bones were scattered in the area where she was found.  This is a devastating thing to have to live with the knowledge that someone…maybe the child’s mother…could be capable of such depraved actions.  I am sure it was much more than most people could handle.

        The text messages that George allegedly sent to his family was an emergency cry for help from someone who is struggling to survive in a tidal wave of trauma.  I pray that he will get the help and the support that he needs to be well and whole. 

         Many people have made hurtful comments about the family members…we don’t know the facts of what actually happened.  Judging them and their actions without the full information is unwise.  Who in their situation could be faulted for handling things with imperfection…they have lost their granddaughter, their daughter is in jail for the alledged murder of their grandchild, they have had their lives turned upside down…including their home and privacy invaded…their children have been under the media spotlight…and they could possibly be charged with charges if they were, in any way, responsible for covering up evidence against their daughter.   That doesn’t even take into consideration yet…the nightmare that will be the trial that is coming soon. 

        This case has had many ups and downs.  It is still in the investigative phase and the court process has begun to build it’s case against Casey Anthony.  I truly hope that the grandparents are not involved in anything that could be considered a cover up by the authorities.  It is horrible enough to think about loosing their granddaughter and possibly their daughter to the legal system.  Let’s not forget that a child died…someone did in fact kill her, the truth needs to come out…and they will be dealing with that issue alone for the rest of their lives.  These are not issues that anyone gets over….overnight!