Provincetown school district in Massachutes is in the middle of a controversy regarding their new policy of providing condoms to school aged children to prevent disease and pregnancy without having to notify the parents or get their approval. This new policy is less than a month old and allows for kids, regardless of age, to receive condoms upon request if they speak to a school nurse/counselor and the school official believes that the student is sexually active, or is planning to become sexually active.
There is great debate about whether this policy should or should not be in place. The Provincetown school district superintendent, Beth Singer appears to be puzzled by the controversy; even though the policy has no age limitation. This goes above and beyond regular sex ed where parents can opt out of certain aspects of a sex ed program because of their beliefs or their own choice in how they want to explain the facts of life to their children; but, this policy removes that option by eliminating a parent’s consent or awareness.
The author of the policy believes that all students should be educated about the use of condoms regarding disease and pregnancy prevention along with other issues relating to sexual education. News reports say that she believes the controversy is surprising, but good as it gets people discussing the issue. She has said that the policy was not created with the intention of giving condoms to children in elementary school. It will probably now be geared for middle school and up, if I understand this correctly. However, I think that is wrong because even though it does happen, kids should NOT be having sex. If they are having sex then it is up to the parents and that child/teen to discuss how things should be handled; it should be a private family matter.
It seems that, the school committee that approved the policy will re-examine the way that the policy is written because opposition to the policy has arisen over the availability of condoms to grade school children without having to notify the parents, of said students. Golly, I wonder why the parents are so upset…I mean…it is not like the school is trying to take over the role of the parents or anything, right? >by the way, that is SARCASM if you are not getting that without hearing the “tone” of my voice.
My feeling is that anytime a school or agency tries to usurp the authority of a parent over their children… it is wrong. By creating a situation where kids can skip going to their parents for something as important as birth control or a device meant to protect them while having sexual relations with another person (whether it be another minor or not) is a serious problem.
First of all, minors having sex is not ok. It happens yes; yes it does. However, our society is sending kids mixed messages about whether that is appropriate. Everything they hear and see in the media is sexually charged. Yet, legally (and morally) sexually activity with another minor is wrong. It can get them brought up on charges. A minor having sexual relations with an adult is illegal, and damaging emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Any sexual activity can expose them to sexually transmitted diseases. It can damage them emotionally and socially at a time when they are just discovering who they are as an individual. It can put them in a situation where they have to choose how to handle the consequences of a pregnancy; ie: raising the child, adoption, abortion and the after-effects of any of those choices. A minor is not typically in a position to handle the life long implications of such choices; often their choices are made while in crisis. They often do not have the finances, the education, the housing or the emotional maturity to handle the consequences of sexual behavior. Sometimes decisions such as having an abortion, or making an adoption plan, can actually harm them permanently forcing them to seek professional help in the future.
No one knows your child like you the parent does. You understand their emotional make up. You know what they have gone through personally. You the parent know their friends and their boyfriends/girlfriends. It is you the parent who is/was their first teacher in life…they have learned a great deal from you from birth on. This area of teaching is the parent’s responsibility. It can be uncomfortable yes…but understand this…no agency or school is going to have your particular set of values on this subject. They might get taught the mechanics of how sex happens and how to prevent pregnancy…but, they won’t get the personal/moral/religious viewpoint that you the parent has from some other authority in the exact same way as you, yourself would have your kids understand it.
I understand that not all parents are created equally…some parents will shirk their responsibility or worse, they may care less what their kids are doing; let alone deal with any consequences. There are abusive family situations as well…that IS when an agency is appropriate to step in and take over the parenting duties…when an adult parent is unfit. In that situation, a school counselor, a trusted adult or even a member of clergy can be confided in to meet the needs of a kid who is in need of counseling regarding sexual behavior. But, it is not fair to the parents who do take their leadership position as heads of their households away by superceding their parental authority.
The fallout of damage to personal relationships due to the alienation of parental authority is real and can hurt your relationship with your child forever.
The mere fact of keeping the parents out of the decision making loop, in an area of life that has the potential of affecting their child for the rest of their life which allows them to keep those kind of secrets is unhealthy and just plain wrong.
I would hope that this policy helps people realize and respect how important these decisions are and allows them to be decided between parents, their children, and their own family’s medical/spiritual consultants.
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