I had been thinking about a blog post for a little while about people who attach themselves to you in an unhealthy way and sap the strength and energy right out of you; and then, I saw a friend on Twitter who mention letting some unhealthy business relationship go by the wayside. Once she did that, she received two or three new clients that filled the gap and brought a breath of fresh air.
I had a visual picture in my head when she said that. I had a picture in my head, of my garden. You see, in the last week my garden has been under attack. Some kind of a pest, sight unseen has been silently but diligently tapping into the health and well-being of my very large, healthy tomato plants. Where just a week ago they stood tall, proud and pregnant with life precariously attached to their limbs…now they are wilting and dying a premature death. Something toxic has entered their system and is doggedly draining the life right out of them.
Toxic relationships will do the same thing to people with healthy minds, bodies, spirits and businesses. You must learn how to determine when a parasite has attached itself to your life force. When you are pouring yourself into a relationship (and getting little or nothing back in return) while being asked to help someone survive…your energy is being highjacked or stolen from you. If you have put your own goals or well being aside, to meet the needs of another, with the best of intentions only to have that person set back and allow you to do all of the work to “help” them…you are dividing up your life force (that was meant to give fullness of life to one) to barely sustain the emotional, physical or spiritual life of two persons. This is not healthy.
Learn how to dig out the roots of the weeds, in your life, that seek to steal the nurturing elements from you before they take root in the areas of your life where you are meant to thrive and produce fruit. In doing this, you are doing right. You see, you can not enable someone else to be a leach; and, still be doing them a good turn. Everyone is meant to be a healthy and productive person. It is not selfish to want and need a fullness in your life. To fulfill your purpose…you must care about nurturing yourself in a way that is healthy and productive. Then and only then, can you be a gifter out of abundance…not out of sympathy and a half empty reserve of energy. Have you evaluated your relationships lately?
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Energy Drains: Is Your Physical Or Emotional Energy Being Drained?
This is an important issue and you couldn’t have said it better. It is very true, that toxic relationships take a toll on a persons well being. I agree that it is not selfish to reevaluate those relationships and to do what is needed to weed out those toxins. It is not being selfish, as when you nuture and fullfill your life you are nurturing those around you also.
Rainy, how is it that you have hit my HOT button TWICE in one day?
Toxic relationships eat away at one’s self image like “Pac Man” eats dots! I think I can safely say I am not involved with any relationship that does not nurture me. But then I’m older than dirt; some of those toxic people might have passed away! grin
One of my daily affirmations is that I have rich, rewarding relationships and I make sure God knows how grateful I am for each of those people and all they mean to me.
Thanks again for yet another fabulous blog post. You are a remarkable person–one of my TOP TEN PEEPS.
Hugs
Mother Connie
http://motherconniesez.blogspot.com
Wow! I am honored my tweet helped with this blog post! So cool: http://twitter.com/AnnEvanston/status/2656067392
I do think though that it’s the “slightly unhealthy” that are harder to clip away than the toxic. Like your tomato plants. often we to not snip away these tiny tomato’s on the ends and they are draining the life of the big beautiful ones trying to grow!
Ann Evanston
The Warrior is Within You
http://Warrior-Preneur.com
@AnnEvanston
Rainy,
Great topic and so true. When it comes time to let go of the toxic (or even slightly unhealthy) relationships, we have to let go of the unhealthy and out-dated belief systems that we hold that have kept us in that situation (or similar ones) up until now. Recognizing and letting go of our attachment to those beliefs and/or ways of being is the process of snipping away what no longer serves us so we can truly move ahead. And that takes being willing to sit in the garden for a moment and really look at what you see.