Most people are familiar with mint in the form of a tasty tidbit whether it be a breath freshner, toothpaste, candy or maybe even their favorite herbal tea.  However, once you know about some of the healing properties of mint you begin to understand that mint matters are so much important than a person realizes.  For a person who has seen or felt it’s healing power…they know the value of keeping pure mint oil on hand!

        For instance, did you know that mint (be it spearmint or peppermint) has anti-inflammatory, anti-bacterial, anti-viral, anti-fungal, anti-spasmodic, anti-oxidant, anti-microbial, and is an analgesic?  That covers many ailments that a human being can experience.  Wow, can you think of any other product that has any kind of equal healing power in it?  It is amazing.  It also is a very tasty product and one that is fairly reasonable to purchase or to grow in your own backyard. 

        As some of my regular readers know, I supported a very special group of people who produce mint oil right here in Michigan.  It is the Crosby Mint Farm in St. Johns, Michigan.  It is a family owned business and it has just celebrated their 99 harvest of mint oil this past weekend.  My family and I got to go on a tour of the farm with some very dear friends of ours this past weekend.  What a joy to see this farm that is a source of healing power for so many people around the world. 

       There is Peppermint Jim and his sister Linette who are the owners/operators.   Both of whom are knowledgable and very genuine personalities.   They have a wonderous staff of mint aficionados.  Their small, on farm, store is stocked with products sure to please.  From candles, to body spritz, to honey subtly flavored with mint, to bath salts and various sizes of bottles of pure essential mint oils to choose from; a person could surely find a way to utilize the products that they produce.

         If you have followed their story you know that they struggled in the last few years with a foreclosure and “lost” their farm to an auction.  The farm’s motto is “expect miracles” and through a very interesting turn of events they were able to buy back most of the farm and their family’s home which is a huge part of their legacy of producing mint for 99 harvests.   Their faith and the support of customers, media and community have come full circle which is going to allow for a great celebration next year of their 100th harvest. 

        I have seen the healing power of the pure mint oil that they produce; as my very own mother was relieved of  painful shingle sores in her mouth that prevented her from speaking and eating normally, for a period of time last winter.  When medicines perscribed for her, by her physician, failed to give her relief…I recommended the mint oil.  She applied the mint oil and in a matter of a few days she was finally free from the pain and inflammation in her mouth around her tongue and gums.  It was miraculous.  It was well worth the small cost of the bottle of oil to see her out of the pain and discomfort she had been in.

       There is also the story on Peppermint Jim’s website about a medical mission team that went to Nigeria and helped over 800 people there with mint oil that was donated from the Crosby Mint Farm.  You should find that story here: http://www.peppermintjim.com/mint-oil-across-the-world/  That is powerful to me.  Now understand, this is pure mint oil not imitation oil.  This is oil produced by plants designed and put on the Earth by the master physician himself, God.  Why aren’t we using this valuable product more in medicinal ways to promote health and well-being; as opposed to manufactured medications that have so many harmful side-effects? 

         One of the big things that we heard alot during our day spent at the mint festival is how the Crosbys want to help people.  By producing the best quality oil, they can help people to live healthier and enjoy their lives more when they are using the oil to live with less pain, less infection, less inflammation and so much more. 

       I have to tell you that the people who work on the farm from Carol, to Lori and her sister Kelly, to all of the others we met this weekend at the mint festival; both on the farm and at the booth at the festival, they know their stuff.  We went on a wonderful tour and gained so much information that I could have spent a week there, just asking questions and absorbing knowledge from these wonderful people.   They were gracious and allowed us to take pictures with them. 

       Did you know that it takes 1 acre of plant material (mint), or 4 tons, to fill the distillery equipment to make a batch of oil; which can yield as much as 35-40 lbs.  This is produced without chemicals or pesticides…and in fact, the Crosby Mint Farm is proud of the farming practices that they use, which are earth friendly.

        An interesting day it was for myself and my family.  Our friends were just as thrilled with all that we learned.  We were priveledged to be present for the filming of a television interview with chanel 6 in Lansing, Michigan, which has been a strong supporter of this farms efforts to not only stay in business; but, to continue the legacy that was started so long ago by Peppermint Jim and his wonderful sister Linette’s great grandfather, J.E. Crosby, Sr; way back in 1912.

        If you would like to learn more about the Crosby Mint Farm or the products that they produce you can go to their website here:  http://crosbymintfarm.com/ .  If you go there, do yourself a favor and purchase some of their products…trust me you wont be sorry.  I don’t have an affiliate link to them or any of their products…I just believe in what they do and why they do it.  I really believe you will too once you’ve tried some of it!

       It seems that times are tough financially, both for the man & the woman, and the ex-wife feels the need to move over 1,000 miles away to the state of Florida where she will live with her family to make ends meet.    They are about to lose their home.  There is not enough money to live on.  So she is making a plan that she feels is a good one.  But her children are young, ages 6 & 9.  I can’t help but wonder, don’t the children need more interaction, than 3 hours a week, with their father…ONLINE?

        Some people would say, well…why doesn’t the father move to Florida as well?  It seems he just had cancer surgery.  And in my opinion, if neither the mother, nor the father, is financially stable…how is it that either of them will find the finances to get set up to communicate digitally if they don’t already have the equipment or the software.  That all costs money. 

         Can a parent meet the emotional needs of their children stictly by being online at the same time?  Is it enough interaction to chat with your children?  Is the Skype program going to replace physical hugs, going places together, putting them to bed at night, joining them in their after-school activities?  Nothing against Skype but, it lacks the physical component of parenting in my opinion.  I can’t imagine a mother or a father thinking that this kind of visitation is “enough” in a long term situation. 

       Are the co-parenting responsibilities and priviledges going to be able to be satisfactory?  Will one parent end up with more of one and less of the other?   Will the children feel abandoned or cheated?  I wonder if there will be enough of an opportunity for natural bonding to be maintained in this type of arrangement.

         Was there NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE than moving so far from the children’s father?  No other affordable place to live in NY?  No other job that would increase the family’s financial situation?  Maybe we weren’t told all of the pertinent information regarding the situation that the family is facing.  Still, I wonder for any parent; father or mother, is digital visitation enough when it comes to parenting your children?   What do you think?

     So then, imagine my surprise when I read a news article today about an alleged violation of that right at the U. S. Supreme Court Building.  From reading the article it would appear that a group of middle school students and their teacher as well as a few other adults, were at the Supreme Court Building taking pictures when they decided to step to the side to pray.  The details are a bit sketchy, however it is being alleged that a police officer told them that they must cease and desist; stop praying and move along because it was against the law.

        Either there is more to this story, or the police officer was/is badly mis-informed, or some other reason was at the basis of being asked to move along.  From my impression of the article, it sounds as if it was a peaceable gathering.  However, as I said, details are sketchy. 

         Either way, the freedom to exercise religion is one of the various reasons this county, of the United States of America, was formed in the first place.   That is what democracy is all about; a society that is exhibited by a formal equality of privileges and rights.  It goes against the grain of most people to have someone tell them how and when they can exercise their religion, or their lack of religion.  It would be even more offensive to have something, of that nature, take place on the very steps of the symbol of our governing legal authority.  How odd and disheartening to have even the perception of a squashing of that freedom of religion, in such a way.  It is wise to pay attention to anything that could be a danger or a threat to the freedoms that this country endows to it’s citizens; it is our responsibility to uphold those freedoms to the best of our ability.

        While no one should be forced by government to worship or endorse anyone particular religion over another…or to even to have a religious belief in the first place; nor should they be kept from practicing their simple faith building action of prayer.

         Many Americans are feeling as if the very fabric of our country’s foundation is being torn asunder in regards to their religious freedoms.  Legal challenges seem to constantly attempt to disallow any fringe association with an open faith in American society.  From schools, to public ceremonies to work related issues to the attempts to remove any mention of God in our currency or our governing bodies … there are movements afoot to erase all mention of God as a higher power of authority.

         If this story proves to be factual, and the prayer was peaceful and was not unlawful in any other way…then that police officer needs to be educated and disciplined about the rights of Americans to pray where they will; as long as they are not violating any other laws.   If indeed he was somehow encouraged to make a stand against religious freedoms, at the very place where the laws of the land are formed and enforced…then this country had better wake up and hold the highest symbol of authority this nation has, to it’s own declarations of what is, and what is not, lawful. 

         What are your thoughts on this matter?

Allegedly there are even more sound bites from these audio recordings that have equally disturbing comments from Mel Gibson. In the past, he has been accused by some as having made disturbing comments about Jews when he was arrested.  It was said in reference to those statements, that he was under the influence.  Others would argue that what is in the heart bubbles to the surface when that person’s inhibitions are loosened up from drugs/alcohol.

This past year has seen Mr. Gibson separate from his wife of 30 years, Robyn only to publically engage in his relationship with Ms. Oksana Grigorieva.   They had a female child, Lucia, together and it is alleged by Oksana that Mel Gibson physically assaulted her by hitting her in the face, while she was holding their daughter, causing physical harm to Oksana; as well as threatening to burn down her residence. 

 Mel is now being investigated for domestic violence by law enforcement.  A tallent agency has stopped representing him in the last week as well after Mel supposedly made disparaging remarks about hispanics whom he allegedly called “wetbacks”.  His personal reputation is going through some rapid changes.   He has been a successful actor in the box office for years earning kudos from the entertainment world and from fans alike. 

These audio tapes, if proven to be his voice, are not going to help Mel Gibson dispell the impression that he is guilty of domestic violence when the tone of voice, that is alleged to be him, states the Oksana looks like a whore, has fake breasts and that she dresses in a provocative way; the male voice goes on to say that if she is attacked and raped by a pack of (N-word insulting name for African Americans) then she DESERVES that. 

No-one deserves to be raped EVER by ANYONE; and I think, if he did make those statesment that it will be hard to regain any semblance of respect from people who believe as I do that it is wrong to say such things as well as to believe it.   Also, the voice on the tape seems to dismiss Oksana by saying things such as I do not trust you, I don’t love you and I don’t want you; these are meant to tear down and diminish the context of their relationship.  It was a relationship that would not be condoned by the church because it was outside of a marriage situation; still, he chose to indulge in a relationship with her so to talk in such a way about her is insulting on many levels.   Whoa, talk about offensive!

I mean, obviously she was a good enough woman to have sex with; as evidenced by the birth of their child.  He was attracted to her enough for that.   He stepped outside of his marriage to have the relationship with Oksana.   Yet, in the same vein, she is a whore; beneath contempt evidenced by his alleged words.   These are the mixed up thoughts of a man who has not come to the understanding of the wholeness of an intimate relationship.  I mean, you can’t have sex with a person outside of marriage and condem them without also condeming yourself.  If she is a whore…then what makes him any different than her?  Is this self hate that he is directing at her because he can’t sort it out in his own head?  You have to wonder if his relationship with Oksana is the only illicit relationship that he has indulged in; maybe guilt is eating him alive.

How do you go from being in a marriage of over 30 years; to starting a new relationship with a woman who is not your wife, while still married and with whom you create a child; and then espouse your intense dislike and disrespect for that same person in such a way as to try to demean them as a person and as a woman.   Inflicting alleged verbal, emotional and physical abuse upon them for the very acts that you willingly engaged in; when you yourself are a willing participant in the relationship, is a difficult concept for people to understand.  If one is at fault, then both is at fault in the eyes of God, unless it is a forced sexual contact.

Emotions are very convoluted…mixed up with lust, anger, resentment, sadness and loathing not to mention guilt and embarassment.   The conscious is a complicated thing; when people go against their own moral or religious values to give in to sin or temptation…the spirit rebels.  Words and actions start to conflict with one another and it causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships.   The conscious is inside each of us to keep us from wrongdoing…it is a tool.  When we disregard the very core of our beings and choose to step outside of what we believe is right/wrong we end up punishing ourselves and others in ways that we don’t understand.

This is one loaded audio recording: if indeed Mr. Gibson said, let alone thought any of these things.   Then, it is indicative of a man eaten alive by a corrosive hate for not only those who are different from him by race or by being born female, as well.  Let’s remember, Oksana is the MOTHER of his child as much as Robyn is; although Robyn had every moral and legal right as his wife to have the fullness of marriage by having intimate relations with him and giving birth to his children.   Eventually Mel and Oksana’s young daughter Lucia will grow up and read of his rantings and judgements.   On the other side of things, Mel already has children, from his marriage, old enough to read and understand his words and deeds.   These kinds of words and actions are destructive to family relationships.   What must Robyn or his adult children think of his behavior…his thoughts, his words and his mindset?   Mel is still their father but they too must be trying to sort out this confusing circumstances.

Mel appears to be a man of conflicting images.  He is on one hand professionally praised by other actors and actresses and co-workers.  But, don’t you have to wonder how they feel, hearing of his feelings about women, race relations and appearances?  He was known for years as a family man to the public.   He was known for his Catholic beliefs.   He was a benefactor for children and agencies that helped them.  Yet, in the last few years he has had issues that have festered to the surface in public and in private.  Who is the real Mel Gibson?

It is just my observation but, Mel comes across to me as a man who is embroiled in inner conflicts that he does not know how to resolve.  A husband, father, family man/a man who was allegedly involved in a romantic relationship outside of his marriage vows, a good Catholic/yet a man who openly hates Jews (Jesus was a Jew), An actor and director who works with women in the entertainment industry who often dress provocatively for movie roles and for publicity; and, people of all skin colors and various religious beliefs, both behind the scenes and in film roles on the screen. 

People who are tormented with hatred of others, simply because of their own intolerence for people who are different from them, are the most miserable people.  Their intense dislike of others is caustic and hard to rally support for except from like-minded people who are also filled with judgement and hatred.  Usually there is also a large supply of self- hatred underneath it all which is masked by self-medicating behavior with drugs, alcohol, cutting or self maiming physical behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, or promiscuity; all of which are self destructive.  

What is needed is a healing of the physical, emotional and spiritual person.  Someone who fills up on hate or self destructive behaviors is someone who is trying to fill up empty spots or voids in their lives.  They don’t know how to heal and often will need professional help; such as legal intervention, sometimes medical help such as medication, psychological evaluations and treatment, and spiritual guidance which focuses on positive guidelines for building up an attitude of love, encouragement and peace.  Someone who has been indoctrinated since childhood with hate may require long term intervention before they are able to accept not only themselves but others on an equal footing or at least in an unconfrontational way of life.

A person’s legacy is a very important thing.  It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or not;  we alone determine the kind of legacy that we leave this earth with; by our thoughts, our actions, and by the way we make others feel.    We live such a short time on this earth so why spend it in turmoil, unhappiness, anger and violence.  Life is so much more rewarding when people find ways to live in peace, harmony, and love.  If you or someone you know is imploding from hatred in their heart and mind…please find help before you destroy yourself or others.

       After all, men and women have fought and died for the privelege that we all enjoy of living free from the will of others being forced upon us regardless of their own values and beliefs.   We don’t thank our military men and women enough for that and we should.  

        Our own country’s Declaration of Independence was based on the idea and principals of freedom.  Without that document as the basis of our country, we would still be forced to accept another country’s authority of what we could and could not do as individuals, in America.  Human beings still value freedom today, as much as during the formation of the United States of America; we just don’t always talk about what that means in our everyday lives. 

        Relationships are often broken or strengthened on the basis of the people’s concept of the boundaries and limitations of freedom in their relationship.  It does not matter whether that relationship is romantic in nature or whether the relationship is based on friendship, or is a family relationship such as parent to child or, even a working relationship with a co-worker  or a boss. 

         Freedom and it’s limitations are important.  If you think I am wrong consider this… if a couple has differing views on what kind of freedoms are going to be allowed in the relationships regarding physical relations, financial spending or saving, discipline issues with regard to raising children…or even freedom to pursue a chosen career…how does one compromise the limits of such freedoms without compromising or destroying one person or the other’s sense of what is acceptable?   They must consider the other person’s feelings regarding freedom as being equally important as their own and be willing to find an acceptable solution to both parties.  This is not easy…because everyone wants what they want and they want it their own way, if given a choice.

        A child who wants freedom, to do what they want at age two, will try to determine the outcome of how much freedom he or she has by acting out behaviorally.  It is the same with a teenager who is experiencing conflict between what they consider acceptable limits to their freedom as far as the use of the phone/computer/video games/ romantic relationships or even curfew.  When they don’t feel “heard” or at least met half way by a parental authority figure…often teens will rebel; sometimes even risk leaving home and damaging their relationship with parents or their siblings, over their own idea of how much freedom they should be allowed.

        Another population of people who understand the value of freedom is someone who is incarcerated or imprisoned.  The basic freedom of coming or going from place to place is something that most people enjoy and take for granted.  However, a person who is being punished criminally or in a war situation may experience a severe form of limitation of their freedoms.  They are not allowed to come and go freely.  They eats, sleep, work and interact only when they are allowed to do so.  This is meant to be a deterrent to commiting crime against societies.  It works for some, but truthfully, most people do not know how much they value these basic freedoms until it is taken away from them.  It is frightening to lack control over every aspect of your daily life.  Most people will be persuaded to live a life free of crime to avoid loosing their freedom.

        In general, the trick to having freedom that works is balancing freedom with responsibility and having a mutual respect for those with which the conflict is occuring.  Freedom to make one’s own choices is never free…it comes with a cost.  People who offer freedom to another person (from those in whom they are in disagreement with) WILL have strings attached or ulterior motives; even if they aren’t evident at the beginning. 

          We each must earn our own way in the freedom department…but, ultimately, the rights we enjoy as individuals are fought and won in battle through our military men and women who’ve paid a high costs; our court systems  and through legal challenges; and, in our own personal relationships through our communication with others of our needs and expectations; and our willingness to consider the rights and freedoms of those around us as being important as well. 

         The thing about freedom is also that the person who is expecting it, demanding it  needs to consider whether the freedom that they are wanting and seeking is worth the cost.  It must be weighed in each circumstance and if meeting in the middle or compromising can’t be done without one or both people feeling like they have given up too much…then relationships can be damaged.  It doesn’t matter how those relationships come into being…everyone wants to be valued and considered worthy of having equal say in how they conduct their lives.  It is human nature.

        I think everyone has those kinds of days once in a while.  Wake up and stub your toe right off the bat, or go to make breakfast and everything you reach for to make is either lacking an ingredient or doesn’t turn out.  Gotta go somewhere….well, you probably should have gotten gas last night; because, now that your vehicle is running on empty, they have raised the price of gas by 23 cents a gallon…and guess what?  You need a lot of gallons to get where you are going.  What in the world?  Did they declare it pick on you day and no one gave ya a heads up?

         Have you maybe tried to do something nice for someone and had it misunderstood?  Been accused of misdeed, or wrong doing, and you have just been minding your own business, doing what is supposed to be done?  Had your motives questioned?  Annoyed someone simply by breathing the same air as them; or, have a separate opinion on a particular subject?   Really, I mean come on people…have you thought that you, and another person such as a co-worker, were on the same page about something, only to find out that you couldn’t be more wrong?  Ayi Yi Yi!

         Did you let someone down accidently, or shown up late to something really important?  Have you not been able to give enough to another person and their expectation of you was so high, that you felt bad not meeting their expectation? 

       Don’t even get me started with communication because you might just as well know right now,  that nothing you say to anyone, on this kind of day, will be understood the way that you meant it to be understood.  People will get mad at you, they will have hurt feelings, they will look at you like you are out of your mind and not making a lick of sense, when you try to communicate with them. 

        In fact, you may even have the misfortune of carrying on a conversation with a person or two and be talking about completely different subjects without realizing it until the conversation is nearly over!  That is, if you even connect with them on the phone in the first place; because, no matter how many times you try to contact that certain person…you continue to play phone tag and keep missing one another.   Grrrrr.

          Add up the miscommunications,  irresponsible moments, un-intended power struggles, the time delays, accidents, losses,  bad luck, negative emotions and upset people and you have to wonder; how can you move past a day like this?

       Wow…been there, done that, RECENTLY.  You want to know the really cool thing about one of those, can’t do anything right days?  Here it comes…are you ready for it?  Those days eventually have to end; because the truth of the matter is…there are only 24 hours in a day and you get a do -over tomorrow.   Ahhhh…that is the best news I have had heard all day.  How about you?  Tomorrow is a new day…make it a good one, eh?

        Dealing with the paperwork, the care of other siblings and spouse, working a full time job;  not to mention hands on care between treatments, paying bills, chauffeuring back and forth between doctor and hospital visits; it can become overwhelming.  However, the most important thing is meeting the physical, spiritual and emotional needs of your childhood cancer patient.  You can’t be all things to all of the people in your life at the same time and there are moments when you have to be away from your child in the hospital.  Finding a way to still provide comfort and security for your child, even when you aren’t there, is of the utmost importance to you.    This is extremely important for the positive outcome of the battle against cancer.  There is someone who has been there and is trying to make a difference for other families in the same battle.

        There is a non-profit organization called, Friends Like Us.  Friends like us was started by the parents of a childhood cancer patient named Brandon.  Mark and Delores Bailey are those parents and they created something called the chemo bear.  This bear provided comfort to their son when he fought his battle.  The chemo bear is customized in a way with interactionable parts which simulates the treatments that the cancer patient goes through.  This helps to open the door for positive communication between the child-patient and the medical staff who are providing care.

       Children with cancer have to deal with so many life changes and it can be frightening and lonely.  Treatments are often unpleasant or uncomfortable.   These bears can provide great physical and emotional comfort to a child who is suffering during this time in unfamiliar locations sometimes seperated from friends or family. 

       The Bailey’s have started a program which provides chemo bears free of charge to child cancer patients through social workers in cancer hospitals.  The bears cost about 24 dollars to make and ship…and so the Getting Better Together program thrives on fundraising.  This week, June 28-July 5th, they are having a fundraising event called, Adopt A Bear.  For each $25 dollar donation, a bear will be given to a child with cancer.  Want to learn more about this wonderful program?  Are you associated with a hospital or cancer clinic that has not heard of this great program?  Check out their website for more information here:  http://www.friendslikeus.org/  or follow them on Twitter here:  http://www.twitter.com/friendslikeus . 

        If you can find it in your heart to help spread the word or to donate much needed dollars to provide comfort to a little one please do so.  If you want donate in the memory of someone who’s life has been affected by cancer; please do.   I think that is a great way to honor someone.  Thank you!

         There is great debate about whether this policy should or should not be in place.  The Provincetown school district superintendent, Beth Singer appears to be puzzled by the controversy; even though the policy has no age limitation.    This goes above and beyond regular sex ed where parents can opt out of certain aspects of a sex ed program because of their beliefs or their own choice in how they want to explain the facts of life to their children; but, this policy removes that option by eliminating a parent’s consent or awareness.

        The author of the policy believes that all students should be educated about the use of condoms regarding disease and pregnancy prevention along with other issues relating to sexual education.  News reports say that she believes the controversy is surprising, but good as it gets people discussing the issue.  She has said that the policy was not created with the intention of giving condoms to children in elementary school.   It will probably now be geared for middle school and up, if I understand this correctly.  However, I think that is wrong because even though it does happen, kids should NOT be having sex.  If they are having sex then it is up to the parents and that child/teen to discuss how things should be handled; it should be a private family matter.

      It seems that, the school committee that approved the policy will re-examine the way that the policy is written because opposition to the policy has arisen over the availability of condoms to grade school children without having to notify the  parents, of said students.   Golly, I wonder why the parents are so upset…I mean…it is not like the school is trying to take over the role of the parents or anything, right?  >by the way, that is SARCASM if you are not getting that without hearing the “tone” of my voice.

       My feeling is that anytime a school or agency tries to usurp the authority of a parent over their children… it is wrong.  By creating a situation where kids can skip going to their parents for something as important as birth control or a device meant to protect them while having sexual relations with another person (whether it be another minor or not) is a serious problem. 

         First of all, minors having sex is not ok.  It happens yes; yes it does.  However, our society is sending kids mixed messages about whether that is appropriate.  Everything they hear and see in the media is sexually charged.  Yet, legally (and morally) sexually activity with another minor is wrong.  It can get them brought up on charges.  A minor having sexual relations with an adult is illegal, and damaging emotionally, physically and spiritually.  

        Any sexual activity can expose them to sexually transmitted diseases.  It can damage them emotionally and socially at a time when they are just discovering who they are as an individual.  It can put them in a situation where they have to choose how to handle the consequences of a pregnancy; ie: raising the child, adoption, abortion and the after-effects of any of those choices.  A minor is not typically in a position to handle the life long implications of such choices; often their choices are made while in crisis.  They often do not have the finances, the education, the housing or the emotional maturity to handle the consequences of sexual behavior.   Sometimes decisions such as having an abortion, or making an adoption plan, can actually harm them permanently forcing them to seek professional help in the future.  

         No one knows your child like you the parent does.  You understand their emotional make up.  You know what they have gone through personally.  You the parent know their friends and their boyfriends/girlfriends.  It is you the parent who is/was their first teacher in life…they have learned a great deal from you from birth on.  This area of teaching is the parent’s responsibility.  It can be uncomfortable yes…but understand this…no agency or school is going to have your particular set of values on this subject.  They might get taught the mechanics of how sex happens and how to prevent pregnancy…but, they won’t get the personal/moral/religious viewpoint that you the parent has from some other authority in the exact same way as you, yourself would have your kids understand it.

         I understand that not all parents are created equally…some parents will shirk their responsibility or worse, they may care less what their kids are doing; let alone deal with any consequences.  There are abusive family situations as well…that IS when an agency is appropriate to step in and take over the parenting duties…when an adult parent is unfit.  In that situation, a school counselor, a trusted adult or even a member of clergy can be confided in to meet the needs of a kid who is in need of counseling regarding sexual behavior.  But, it is not fair to the parents who do take their leadership position as heads of their households away by superceding their parental authority.

          The fallout of damage to personal relationships due to the alienation of parental authority is real and can hurt your relationship with your child forever. 

          The mere fact of keeping the parents out of the decision making loop, in an area of life that has the potential of affecting their child for the rest of their life which allows them to keep those kind of secrets is unhealthy and just plain wrong. 

          I would hope that this policy helps people realize and respect how important these decisions are and allows them to be decided between parents, their children, and their own family’s medical/spiritual consultants.

          Those things are very important;  however, there are even more precautions to take to keep your kids safe in this environment.   Many people aren’t even aware of this particular danger that we are going to discuss today.   The danger I am talking about is the vacuum or suction that allows for the water in the pool, or hot tub to circulate.

         A child or even some adults are in danger because of the design of those drains, in some pools.   The power of these drains  can drastically alter or cause the loss of life.  Pools that aren’t up to date, or equipped, with various layers of protection, regarding the force of the suction in these drains, can kill or permanently harm human lives.  

         It is important to note that people on vacation may not be aware of the quality or level of protection that a hotel/campground/waterpark may or may not have.  It’s even possible for people to take for granted that the neighbor’s or grandma/grandpa’s pool is “safe” for their children’s use this summer. 

        Using large drain covers  that are considered to be blockage free; and, that are firmly attached with screws are the first step towards protecting lives.   Equally important to the issue of safety and well-being is to have back up systems that help to restrict, or reduce the amount of suction through these drains. 

        There are safety shut off valves, that can save lives too; those safety shut off valves can sense when a drain becomes blocked and the force increases on the surface of the drain cover.    This powerful suction can occur when the skin of a person covers the drain and pulls with a large force trapping a person underwater; so a shut off valve is critical for saving lives.  

        Precious time is often lost because people believe that they can just pull a small person off of the drain cover…but, it just isn’t so.   Even with adult men pulling on the victims, that have lost their lives, they could not be freed from the force of that suction and they drowned or had their intestines pulled from their bodies because of that force.   No one should die such a senseless death when it is possible to avoid such a tragedy.   It is a horrible situation that can be prevented if only all pools and hot tubs were equipped with these safety measures.

        Imagine the helplessness of those survivors of such incidents…watching an innocent swimmer suffer and needlessly die because they could not be freed from a pool or hot tub drain.  It is a vision that would be hard to live with.  There are safety advocates that are trying to enforce legislation to protect us all; if you would write to your representatives in Congress and express your desire for layers of safety measures to be implemented and enforced, all around the nation, it would help.

          Swimming is a great summer activity and there is no reason to avoid taking part in it as long as you are aware of  the risks and take appropriate precautions.  Check out those pools that you “visit”…make sure that they are equipped with large safe drain covers.   Don’t be afraid to ask question and don’t be willing to be pacified with answers that don’t address the issues of safety for your family.   See for yourself  if there is a shut off valve available that is quick to reach (we’ve been in hotels where those are behind a locked door). 

          If a public pool does not appear to be safe; report it to authorities outside of the organization or facility where the pool/hot tub is housed; you could be saving lives.   Don’t take chances.  Teach children and teens to avoid the drain areas of pools and hot tubs or better yet; teach them not to get into an unknown pool without checking it’s safety features.  

           It doesn’t take a genius to realize that by the time a hotel employee could be located with a key…someone could drown before help could arrive.  Protect your loved ones by being safe…being aware, and sharing this information with those who may not know of this danger!

        The solution was the wonderful hospitality house that is connected to Spectrum Hospital downtown Grand Rapids, Michigan called the Renucci Hospitality House.   I can’t tell you what a wonderful service this Renucci House offers.  It was built in 1999 and helps to house family members of the hospital’s patients that are in need of having a place close by to sleep and rest.  It was designed to provide comfort and rest for the weary soul.  There is a small healing garden that is darling.  There is a playroom for young siblings or children of the hospital patient.  The staff is wonderful and caring, from the hosts to the cleaning crew.   There is a computer for the patient’s family members to use, a laundry facility, an exercise room…and quiet rooms for relaxing.  The dinning room is open 24-7 and the kitchen is stocked with non-perishable food items for those moments when food or drink is needed.

        The Renucci House was founded by Peter P. Renucci and his wife Patricia Renucci.  Back in 1968 one of their children was born through a premature situation and had to stay in the hospital’s neonatal unit.  This was the basis of their awareness of the need to be close to your loved one who is in crisis.   They helped to fund the Renucci House with a gift of $1.6 million because they wanted to thank the community for what had been done for their family.  This is a gift that keeps on giving with a pay it forward theme that I love.

       The atmosphere is one of love, support and healing.  You feel very comforted if you find yourself in need of the Renucci House.  It goes beyond the staff or the comfortable rooms.  There is a very wonderful program of volunteerism that happens here.  Organizations, churches, families and individuals are encouraged to give of their time, talents, and blessings.  You can volunteer to donate and prepare meals for the families who are staying there.   This is normally a great expense for families who must stay nearby their family members during a hospital stay; it may be an expense the family cannot afford.   Truly, this is a huge blessing and one that shows an important part of caretaking and nurturing of families in crisis. 

         Our family benefitted from several meals that had been prepared and served by some of these volunteers.  It was a service that was provided with joy by the volunteers; and that was a wonderful blessing.  The meals were wonderful from the main dish to the salads, drinks and desserts.  One evening, a church had their youth providing community service help to serve the families of the Renucci House.  It was a group of fifth graders and their mentors.  These people went out of their way to be of service to those who stayed there that evening.  They mingled and interacted with the families and showed great care.   I think it is great that young people are being taught the importance of giving back to a community through volunteering their time, skills and willingness to be of service.  Kudos to those involved.

         Volunteers are encouraged to come and bake in the kitchen homemade baked goods or some other treat.  Put together snacks or care bags for the families.  This also opens the door to have conversations with family members who may need someone to talk to.  Comfort and peace are evident throughout the Renucci House because of the volunteer programs.

        The Renucci House actually operates quite a bit through their volunteer programs…from donated non-perishable food items which stock the kitchen for family members to use when they need it; to volunteers to help pay for the family members stay who can not afford to pay, to help cover the cost of staying in the Renucci House.   This is a big deal if a hospital stay goes on for very long.  Family members may have a hard time paying for their rooms, or much needed items to be able to stay close to their loved ones.   Some volunteers give gift cards to be used at local stores or restaurants in the area.    Perhaps donating a telephone calling card would benefit families who are staying at the Renucci House but have long distance calls to make.   Talk to the manager of the house to see if current magazines can be donated or perhaps you have a nurturing spirit and have time to greet guests or maybe volunteer to help in the library.  Empty nesters  or retirees who find themselves with time on their hands may wish to do something meaningful with all of their spare time.   The Renucci House volunteers provide breakfast and dinners daily…they need a large number of volunteers who are willing to provide this needed service.

       You know, the Renucci House is near to the Lemmen -Holton Cancer Pavilion, the Devos Children’s Hospital, and the Lena Meijer Heart Center; all of these facilities have patients and families.   There is a huge need to support those patients and their families at a time when they are facing some of the biggest battles of their lives.   Often there are so many emotions to deal with such as fear, anxiety, depression, sadness and hope.  The Renucci House provides the basics to allow people to cope with their emotions.   Please, spread the word, volunteer and give help when and where you can.  Having compassion and opening your hearts to opportunities to help is an important part of life…please get involved.   You never know when you or someone you care about may need some of those same things.

        If someone has time or talent to give or just feels moved to donate monitarily to the Renucci House you can contact their house manager at (616) 391-1790.  

 You can view their website here: http://www.spectrum-health.org/renucci .  My family is going to volunteer soon…we may even take our youth group down and prepare a meal for the family members in the near future.  As a family who has benefitted from a stay at the Renucci House recently, I want to say thank you to all of the volunteers, to the staff of the Renucci House and to the Renucci Family themselves for impacting the Grand Rapids community and it’s surrounding area with love, compassion and support.  You are appreciated greatly!