It’s been a terrible thing to read of the recent reports about Mel Gibson and his alleged audio recordings of some hate filled diatribe towards his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva . He spews forth such rancor and biting words that it nearly reduces a person without prejudices or intolerances, of either differing ethnic races or opposite genders, into a soul cringing, physically flinching posture of self protection. This is the position that many who have suffered at the hands of abuse or domestic violence find themselves in automatically when conflict occurs.
Allegedly there are even more sound bites from these audio recordings that have equally disturbing comments from Mel Gibson. In the past, he has been accused by some as having made disturbing comments about Jews when he was arrested. It was said in reference to those statements, that he was under the influence. Others would argue that what is in the heart bubbles to the surface when that person’s inhibitions are loosened up from drugs/alcohol.
This past year has seen Mr. Gibson separate from his wife of 30 years, Robyn only to publically engage in his relationship with Ms. Oksana Grigorieva. They had a female child, Lucia, together and it is alleged by Oksana that Mel Gibson physically assaulted her by hitting her in the face, while she was holding their daughter, causing physical harm to Oksana; as well as threatening to burn down her residence.
Mel is now being investigated for domestic violence by law enforcement. A tallent agency has stopped representing him in the last week as well after Mel supposedly made disparaging remarks about hispanics whom he allegedly called “wetbacks”. His personal reputation is going through some rapid changes. He has been a successful actor in the box office for years earning kudos from the entertainment world and from fans alike.
These audio tapes, if proven to be his voice, are not going to help Mel Gibson dispell the impression that he is guilty of domestic violence when the tone of voice, that is alleged to be him, states the Oksana looks like a whore, has fake breasts and that she dresses in a provocative way; the male voice goes on to say that if she is attacked and raped by a pack of (N-word insulting name for African Americans) then she DESERVES that.
No-one deserves to be raped EVER by ANYONE; and I think, if he did make those statesment that it will be hard to regain any semblance of respect from people who believe as I do that it is wrong to say such things as well as to believe it. Also, the voice on the tape seems to dismiss Oksana by saying things such as I do not trust you, I don’t love you and I don’t want you; these are meant to tear down and diminish the context of their relationship. It was a relationship that would not be condoned by the church because it was outside of a marriage situation; still, he chose to indulge in a relationship with her so to talk in such a way about her is insulting on many levels. Whoa, talk about offensive!
I mean, obviously she was a good enough woman to have sex with; as evidenced by the birth of their child. He was attracted to her enough for that. He stepped outside of his marriage to have the relationship with Oksana. Yet, in the same vein, she is a whore; beneath contempt evidenced by his alleged words. These are the mixed up thoughts of a man who has not come to the understanding of the wholeness of an intimate relationship. I mean, you can’t have sex with a person outside of marriage and condem them without also condeming yourself. If she is a whore…then what makes him any different than her? Is this self hate that he is directing at her because he can’t sort it out in his own head? You have to wonder if his relationship with Oksana is the only illicit relationship that he has indulged in; maybe guilt is eating him alive.
How do you go from being in a marriage of over 30 years; to starting a new relationship with a woman who is not your wife, while still married and with whom you create a child; and then espouse your intense dislike and disrespect for that same person in such a way as to try to demean them as a person and as a woman. Inflicting alleged verbal, emotional and physical abuse upon them for the very acts that you willingly engaged in; when you yourself are a willing participant in the relationship, is a difficult concept for people to understand. If one is at fault, then both is at fault in the eyes of God, unless it is a forced sexual contact.
Emotions are very convoluted…mixed up with lust, anger, resentment, sadness and loathing not to mention guilt and embarassment. The conscious is a complicated thing; when people go against their own moral or religious values to give in to sin or temptation…the spirit rebels. Words and actions start to conflict with one another and it causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships. The conscious is inside each of us to keep us from wrongdoing…it is a tool. When we disregard the very core of our beings and choose to step outside of what we believe is right/wrong we end up punishing ourselves and others in ways that we don’t understand.
This is one loaded audio recording: if indeed Mr. Gibson said, let alone thought any of these things. Then, it is indicative of a man eaten alive by a corrosive hate for not only those who are different from him by race or by being born female, as well. Let’s remember, Oksana is the MOTHER of his child as much as Robyn is; although Robyn had every moral and legal right as his wife to have the fullness of marriage by having intimate relations with him and giving birth to his children. Eventually Mel and Oksana’s young daughter Lucia will grow up and read of his rantings and judgements. On the other side of things, Mel already has children, from his marriage, old enough to read and understand his words and deeds. These kinds of words and actions are destructive to family relationships. What must Robyn or his adult children think of his behavior…his thoughts, his words and his mindset? Mel is still their father but they too must be trying to sort out this confusing circumstances.
Mel appears to be a man of conflicting images. He is on one hand professionally praised by other actors and actresses and co-workers. But, don’t you have to wonder how they feel, hearing of his feelings about women, race relations and appearances? He was known for years as a family man to the public. He was known for his Catholic beliefs. He was a benefactor for children and agencies that helped them. Yet, in the last few years he has had issues that have festered to the surface in public and in private. Who is the real Mel Gibson?
It is just my observation but, Mel comes across to me as a man who is embroiled in inner conflicts that he does not know how to resolve. A husband, father, family man/a man who was allegedly involved in a romantic relationship outside of his marriage vows, a good Catholic/yet a man who openly hates Jews (Jesus was a Jew), An actor and director who works with women in the entertainment industry who often dress provocatively for movie roles and for publicity; and, people of all skin colors and various religious beliefs, both behind the scenes and in film roles on the screen.
People who are tormented with hatred of others, simply because of their own intolerence for people who are different from them, are the most miserable people. Their intense dislike of others is caustic and hard to rally support for except from like-minded people who are also filled with judgement and hatred. Usually there is also a large supply of self- hatred underneath it all which is masked by self-medicating behavior with drugs, alcohol, cutting or self maiming physical behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, or promiscuity; all of which are self destructive.
What is needed is a healing of the physical, emotional and spiritual person. Someone who fills up on hate or self destructive behaviors is someone who is trying to fill up empty spots or voids in their lives. They don’t know how to heal and often will need professional help; such as legal intervention, sometimes medical help such as medication, psychological evaluations and treatment, and spiritual guidance which focuses on positive guidelines for building up an attitude of love, encouragement and peace. Someone who has been indoctrinated since childhood with hate may require long term intervention before they are able to accept not only themselves but others on an equal footing or at least in an unconfrontational way of life.
A person’s legacy is a very important thing. It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or not; we alone determine the kind of legacy that we leave this earth with; by our thoughts, our actions, and by the way we make others feel. We live such a short time on this earth so why spend it in turmoil, unhappiness, anger and violence. Life is so much more rewarding when people find ways to live in peace, harmony, and love. If you or someone you know is imploding from hatred in their heart and mind…please find help before you destroy yourself or others.
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