Today i was reading an article about a little boy who was born a year ago today; the same day that his mother died at the hands of another person. The wee one was stolen from his mother’s womb by a woman who was “obsessed” with getting a child. She had already been convicted of harming others to take children in the past; and, served time but was released. This particular child’s mother was abducted, bound and then, her baby was stolen from her womb. His birthday will always be associated with his mother’s death…if those around him don’t make an effort to change that for him. His grandfather says this baby is always laughing and that he is full of Jesus. The grandfather and family members have said that they forgive the person who stole the life of the little man’s mother. It is what God expects…but it is a life long process as a human being. I am in awe of their resilience and their dedication to raising this child. I hope that they have much support.
Memories are important…and while this child does not and will not remember his birthday…he will associate his life with his mother’s death at some point in the future. It is important for those around him to tell him how much his mother wanted him, loved him and looked forward to being his parent. But just as important for his well being, is to teach him to love life, to honor the gift of his life and to live his life in a way that celebrates the life that his mother was able to give him; living in joy and purpose. It will be harder on those who knew his mother, who lost her and who grieve the loss of her life at the hands of someone who either cared less about it, or was ill enough to take the life of another, simply to meet her own wants and desires. They will definately be grieving ,while at the same time trying to raise this child in love.
So, it will be very important that the child’s grandparents, friends and other family members are careful in how they present the facts to him as he grows up. The memories that they share will him about his mother must be handled carefully so that he doesn’t grow up feeling like he needs to apologize for living and breathing, and feeling guilty for living when his mother has lost her life. It was not his fault that another human being killed his mother to get him. He has to know, when he is capable of understanding, that evil exists in the world, sickness exists in the world…but it doesn’t have to destroy him or scar who he becomes because evil touched his life at the very beginning. The best revenge is to live a life that is full of purpose, passion and praise for all things good and beautiful.
Sorting through the memories and giving the good to this child is going to be one of the most powerful things that they can do for him and his mother. They will be the conduit through which he comes to know his mother and her love for him. Sorting through the memories and discarding those which will cause him harm or excessive pain will be important too. There are some details that he should not grow up knowing. He should not be exposed to the horrible way in which his mother died. She would want him to grow and experience all the best that life has to offer.
We all grow up with what we know to be true; which helps us to form our basic personality and approach to life. If he can grow up to be an emotionally healthy person who lives surrounded with love he can have something close to the life that I am sure his mother wanted for him to have. I know that as he celebrated his first birthday…his loved ones also mourned the loss of his mother. I feel strongly for them. On the other hand, it is a gift that she left them; her son lives…and through him…they still have a part of her. Happy Birthday little man…I hope you have lots of happy birthdays. May they have a loving, healthy life together!
.gif)