Many of the comments that I overheard were negative and directed at my daughter.  All three girls have dominant personalities but what I was getting a glimpse of was what you would call verbal bullying.  Early the next day we had activities to go to so I wasn’t hearing much but I didn’t like some of what I did hear.   Even more importantly, when negative comments were made regarding my daughter she did not speak up or against what was being said.

When I would hear the tone of voice or the partial conversations that made me go…ummm what was that you said; all I got for clarification was , “oh nothing, never mind”.  That only made me listen closer.

So it was on the drive delivering the girls to their home that I was in a better position to hear clearly a couple of comments that I felt were so outrageous and disrespect or demeaning that I had to address it.  Now, understand…these girls weren’t purposely trying to be cruel.

I feel that they were more unaware of what they were doing…and yet, it had to be talked about.  I expressed to them that friends did not speak that way to one another.  Friendship I said can last a lifetime if the people involved take the time to care for one another, support and encourage one another.   I said that there are enough people in this world ready, willing and able to tear you down, make fun of you, disrespect you and try to make you feel small.  I said that it was unacceptable for them to speak to one another that way.  It had to stop.  That it was unhealthy.

My concern was two fold…one that my daughter’s self-esteem not be damaged by “friends” whose opinions mean a great deal to my daughter and two that her friends understand that this kind of behavior was not only not healthy but would not be tolerated.  Those girls as well as my daughter needed to understand that self esteem and relationships go hand in hand and that they form at a young age how we allow ourselves to be treated in future relationships.

A damaged self esteem sets up individuals for entering into abusive relationships.  An individual who abuses others in a relationship often end up in very unhealthy relationships later in life as well.   I don’t want any of either of those types of relationships for these three young ladies.

People who are involved in dysfunctional relationships are often caught up in depression, drugs/alcohol abuse, violence, pre-marital sex at a young age and even teen pregnancies.  The prison systems are full of abandoned individuals who’ve gotten involved in the wrong things; because they didn’t develop healthy foundations, in their own minds, about who they are and what they deserve in life.  Too often people are told they are no good and they don’t deserve anything but emotional crumbs in their day to day lives; and it isn’t true.  Life is too short to be broken, angry, hurt and miserable.  Everyone has the right to grow up believing that they deserve the best life has to offer.

Today it seems that people just don’t know how to support one another or relate to each other in a positive way.  The world has become very negative and toxic.  Many people only concern themselves with getting their own needs met and often times they do that at the expense of others.  We need to find ways to build people up, support them, encourage them and help them to grow in positive ways.

Parents, teachers, siblings, friends and clergy need to keep tuned into the people involved in relationships with the people that they love.  Listen closely to how they speak to one another, how they treat one another and how they allow others to treat them as well.  Building healthy interactions between those we are in charge over is important.  Do you have any tips to help someone in this type of situation?

However, there are products being labeled as “bath salts” that are powders packed in small tea bag sized envelopes and advertised as legal substitutions; merely to make money.  They are  being sold on the shelves of convience stores, truck stops and head shops all around the country; as well as online.  They are marketed as bath salts, when those who produce these products know full well that they are not being used for that purpose.

Those who produce, market or sell these items should be held accountable for those who have had their lives destroyed by their products. Their intended use is for individuals who are looking for a drug induced high.  Business selling them should be forced to removed them from their stores in my opinion.  In fact, some states & communities are banning their sales…but, we need to increase awareness of this issue; before the use of these products becomes more widespread.

The powders are snorted, smoked or injected.  This product is equal in intensity to meth in it’s effects on the human body and mind.  It can be addictive even when the user experiences terrible effects during usage.  Some people have committed murder, attempted suicide or just gone on a violent, destructive bender while using these products.  Emergency rooms, police and poison control centers are seeing an increase in calls in areas where these products are being sold.

Children and adults can purchase a package of “bath salts” for approximately $20 or so.  Unfortunately these things can be purchased online too.  A parent seeing one of these packages may not realize that it is a drug with very harmful effects.  These products have names like Cosmic blast, Vanilla Sky, Red Dove, White Lightning, Hurricane Charlie, and Bliss or Ivory Wave…they sound like a generic aromatherapy type of product; these packages are anything but.  It is un-believable that this product is allowed to be sold; knowing that lives are being ruined.  These legal substitutes are chemical stimulants designed to achieve a physical/psychological high and are extremely deadly.  They have strong stimulants inside the packages which closely copy the effects on the body like speed or ephedra.

The problem is that these legal substitutes are not something that the DEA regulates.  However, the damage these drugs do is causes dangerous reactions that often produce paranoia, violence and psychological terror that can not only endanger the user (who willingly takes that chance); but also affects anyone who is unfortunate enough to run into someone under the influence of such an un-predictable drug.

Some people abusing these bath salts, have described seeing visions of, aliens, devils or demons and attacking themselves or others because of those visions.  If you see this stuff being sold…report it to the authorities.  If you know someone using these products get them help immediately; report it to a poison control center and get them in to see medical personnel right away before they harm themselves or someone else.  Schools should be prepared for the influence of these products as well by having drug counselors on speed dial.  Educating individuals who are susceptible to the influence of using drugs to escape reality is going to be very important as this trend becomes more commonly known.   Becoming aware of this trend of abusing bath salts could help you spot the danger and help to save  lives.

       The incident involved the forced, and coerced, tattooing of a 14 year old special needs student.  This student had been exposed to bullying at school; and, these so called adults (all over the age of 18) allegedly told him that the bullying would stop if he got a tattoo.  He said he didn’t want one; but still, he was allegedly threatened and forced to get a tattoo which had some kind of image along with obscene words on his buttocks. 

         Tattoos take time to apply to a person; even when a person wants to have one.  I can’t imagine what this young man endured during this “procedure”.  He’s been taunted at school by other students who are picking on him because of his special needs and then he is assaulted in this way.  Not only is he physically scared but he is also emotionally scared because these people chose to humiliate and abuse him. 

         This whole situation came to the attention of the authorities because pictures of this young 14 year old abuse victim were being circulated at school and a teacher reported it to the authorities when they became aware of the pictures.    Thank you to the unknown teacher who had the courage to do the right thing!  Teachers don’t often get enough credit these days for what they do at school for our kids.  Often, teachers are on the first line of defense when it comes to protecting special needs students from abuse or bullying.   Along the same lines, other students who are caring and filled with the strength of character to be an advocate for special needs students are becoming more rare these days.  To those of you who do the right thing in these types of situations…I thank you as well.

        I wonder, just how many people saw these photos and laughed?  Were they amused at the image, the words, or just the fact that someone that they considered to be of a lessor value than they themselves, or one of their friends, was put in this position of having their picture plastered all over the school for others to look at and make fun of him? 

         Were they not moved by compassion to report such a terrible crime?  How can a person take joy in the torture, humiliation, or abuse of another person; whether they know them or not?  Is not a special needs person worthy of protection, compassion, or caring? 

          I mean, even if someone does not know a special needs person; don’t they understand that they have feelings and emotions just like they themselves?  Everyone wants to feel safe, be loved, be accepted and have friends at school.  It is unacceptable that this situation was turned into a source of entertainment by some students. 

          The victim here was only 14 years old.  I think that those pictures should be considered sexual exploitation by anyone who had access to them or viewed them and did not report it.  Any person who was passing along the photos to others should suffer consequences as well as the people who were involved in the actual abuse of this young man.

       How can people who are supposedly blessed with average or above intellectual abilities treat another human being in this way?  What gives them the right to consider themselves better than another person; simply because of a perceived imperfection called special needs?   It is wrong, it is cruel, it is immoral, and it is…ILLEGAL. 

       Parents, teachers, neighbors, grandparents, church leaders we must all take our roles of leadership seriously and start instilling in our young people tolerance, compassion and empathy towards others; especially the most vulnerable individuals in our society such as young children, the elderly or those who are afflicted with disabilities.   It is important that we do this because as a nation, we are losing our moral compass because people who can do these kind of horrible things to their fellow human beings and not see something wrong with it are becoming more common everyday.

         Hello…no-one SHOULD have to tell another person that this kind of behavior is wrong.   However, New Hampsire’s court system should make it clear; because these four individuals in New Hampshire have been arrested and charged for their actions.   Let’s hope that the legal system really makes an impact on others who think they can be cruel, and treat other human beings any way they want to and get away with it; by making the legal punishment fit the crime.   The punishment should be large enough to send a message to anyone else who may consider bullying or abusing a special needs individual, that it is NOT the right thing to do!   What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for someone who abuses another person in this way?

       Everyone at one time or another has felt the need for more energy.  People everywhere will indulge in a cup of coffee, tea, soda pop, or candy bar to give their energy level an occasional boost.  There are better ways to gain energy such as proper diet, rest, and exercise; but, we are all guilty of taking short cuts, at one time or another.  

          Kids need energy just like adults; but, between poor role models and a sedentary lifestyle that many young people have grown accustomed to; they are even more easily persuaded to get their energy out of a can.  Many marketing images are over the top and come across as radical, or illegal with the names of the products; which can be enticing to a teen who is open to the idea of coming across as rebellious.   Some who are easily influenced are vulnerable to the idea of an easy fix for low energy reserves.   A whole new thriving industry has emerged centered around these energy drinks, and their counter parts; anti-energy drinks, for those times when too much energy is a problem>insert sarcasm here! 

         There are several problems that I see when it comes to marketing these products to teens and children.  Adults should take care to monitor their own use of such products; because your kids will pattern their behavior after the adults in their lives.  The problem is, that kids don’t always have the maturity, or the knowledge, that they need to make wise choices in this area of life.  Creative advertising for these energy drink products has made these products sound not only benign; but, good for you.

          However, not all of these products have the same ingredients as one of their competitors products; nor do they have the same effects, on every person’s body.   There are some good products out there and some not so good products.   The idea behind energy drinks is to increase the energy level of the consumer.  This is done through a variety of ingredients; the main ones being caffeine and some form of sugar.  The levels of those two main ingredients varies from brand to brand…and, it is important to read the labels and compare the results.   You can’t assume that just because they are on the market for purchase that they are all safe to use for every person; because that may not be the case.

        The much sought after goal of gaining more energy is underscored by many consumers who believe that higher levels of caffeine is good.  In fact, it can be rather harmful.  Adding too much caffeine to a person’s body can raise blood pressure levels, put stress on the heart and it’s ability to regulate it’s rhythm; as well as other organs.  They can cause headaches and nausea.  The long term effects of this roller coaster ride can be very harmful to the body. 

        There is a huge dependence on these energy drinks in the daily diet, by many teens and preteens.  Parents may or may not be aware of their child’s use of these drinks.  It is critical that parents are made aware of the physical, social, and even the mood- altering impact, on their children, of the energy drinks; and, even the so called anti-energy drinks.  Side effects from some of the ingredients can be made worse if there are extra strains on the body such as extreme physical exertion from participating in a sport or an underlying health complication.

          Many young people are taking prescription medications for various conditions such as ADHD, ADD, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders, Autism, Depression and many other chronic medical conditions.  Mixing these drinks and the ingredients they contain with legal, and or illegal substances can harm, or even cause death for some individuals with underlying health conditions. 

          Only a doctor or pharmacist can determine whether any specific individual can safely consume these products along with the medications they are taking.  However, I don’t think that message gets communicated properly to the consumer.  Talk to your family doctor; discuss the issue with your kid’s school nurse and make sure that they are aware of  the effects of energy drinks on the health of minor’s bodies which are growing and changing at a rapid rate.

          Advertising for many of these drinks can appear to promote health because one or two of their ingredients may have positive health benefits like vitamins, minerals, or herbs.  Again, some of those ingredients can be harmful…some herbs can have stimulant or depressant properties.    Wisdom demands that you be aware of mixing any kind of substance that has the power to affect how the body operates or functions.  Care must be taken because you could be, in effect…mixing medications by drinking these drinks along with taking legal, prescription medications.   The average person or teen may not be aware that drinking  these drinks can cause a harmful interaction.

           The availability of these drinks is as easy as the nearest vending machine, convience store/gas station or grocery store.  They can be a bit pricey, generally around $3.00 a piece.   The products often appear as a can of soda in an aluminum container…sometimes they are bottled in glass.  Do you know if your child has had access to these drinks today? 

            Adults use these products as well.  However, if you are going to purchase these drinks for your teen or preteen; or, allow them to be used by your children; at least teach them to read the labels.  Teach them to understand that the numbers are often doctored by dividing the calories, sugar levels, caffiene numbers according to servings; not by listing the total amounts in the can.  The consumer has to understand that there may be MORE than one serving per can.  This makes all the difference in how the person’s body handles the drink; consuming a serving or the whole container in one sitting can be the difference between a positive or a negative after effect.

         Whether the consumer is an adult, or teen, or pre-teen; it is a good idea to communicate that too much caffeine (whether it be in coffee, tea, soda, hot chocolate energy drinks) can dehydrate the body and damage the kidneys, heart, or other organs.   Encourage them to drink plain old water to re-hydrate the body when they drink these kinds of energy or anti-energy drinks.

           As a side note, please be aware that some of the anti- energy drinks can have just as damaging effects on the body.  They are just like they sound….the opposite of energy drinks.  They have substances such as herbs and hormones in them that produce a slowing down of energy levels.  Some of them even add melatonin, a hormone that is naturally produced in the brain to promote sleep.   However, when this hormone is added into these anti-energy drinks it is not being naturally produced.  How much is too much for your or your loved one?

          Some users of these anti-energy drinks are using them to self -medicate either physical or emotional conditions.  If a person struggles with mental illness, depression or any other type of mood disorder…could these drinks cause them to experience mood swings of a harmful nature?  It would makes sense to me that it could.    There are also conflicting reports on the internet about these drinks ability to produce a positive result on drug tests.   For those individuals who are on probation or under a courts jurisdiction, this could impact them legally as well, if it is true that the drinks can affect a drug tests results. 

          I have even read that there are people who combine these drinks with alcohol.  Whenever people start using substances to alter their physical or emotional state of being you have to be careful.  These can become not only physically; but, psychologically addicting.  Teens who are wanting to “escape” painful emotional or physical situations can find themselves on a roller coaster of dependence…affecting not only their health; but, their relationships with their parents and their peers.  If they already struggle with addictive behaviors or choices…using these drinks to self-medicate can cause additional problems.

       Parents, many of you will not even be aware of this culture with your teens or their circle of influence…but, teens using these drinks is common.  If you purchase these energy drinks, or anti-energy drinks for your home…at least control how often these products are used.  But also be aware, they may be consuming them when you are not around to monitor their actions. 

        In my opinion, it is better to prohibit the use of these drinks altogether.  I don’t see the potential benefits outweighing the risks, to the health and well-being of the person drinking them.   However, if you are going to allow it…at least educate yourself about your child’s views on these drinks and how they and their friends see these products in their daily lives.  You may be shocked at what you hear.  Many young people see them as non-harmful; and use them as commonly as they drink soda pop.  Do some research for yourself.  What are your thoughts on this subject?

         It got me to wondering what it is about heros that attracts us to them; what are they made of.   Why do heros do the things that they do?  Most of the time heros are fighting for justice, in other words fighting against the bad guys/gals, trying to protect other everyday non-heros from harm.  I think as we grow up, our understanding of what a hero is changes a bit.  I think we are attracted to the goodness in a hero or their ability to protect and to serve.  It is admirable and desirable to be capable of doing the right thing, for the right reason.

          In my mind, a hero is someone who does something unexpected in a challenging way that helps/protects/inspires/encourages another person who is not in a position to do it for themselves at the time.   A hero is someone who makes a split second decision to reach out and make a difference even if the cost is high-such as a stranger who rushes to protect another person from a crime, a threat, a bad decision, or a moment of danger.

           Sometimes a hero is a person who is “just doing their job” in their own words; but to another ordinary person their commitment to the deed is extra-ordinary because of the level of commitment to performing the deed comes with high risk or a high cost to the person choosing to take action.  A police officer, a fireman/woman, a postal worker, a teacher, a store clerk, military men and women…the list goes on and on; these people are heros in my book. 

           What about the volunteer or caregiver who takes extra measure to seek a solution to another person in need?  Are they a hero?   What about people who put themselves out on the front line to fight for what they believe in even when it is not popular; are they heros?  I believe that they are.

            I think about those people who fight for the poor, aged, disabled, ill, those who wage a war against cancer, domestic violence, drug & alcohol addictions, human trafficking, homelessness, abortion, abuse/neglect, children without families or without basic needs being met.  The people who champion for an awareness or for changes to existing circumstances just because it is the right thing to do…I believe these people are heros.  They are an inspiration!

           Miep Gies died yesterday at age 100.  She was a hero but she didn’t like to think of herself that way.  She was an office worker in the employ of Anne Frank’s father Otto Frank; she hid Anne Frank and her family and friends in a secret room in a warehouse during the years that Hitler was rounding up Jews to kill them, during the Holocaust.  She is the woman who bicycled around the city finding food to feed them, and who eventually found the pages of Anne Frank’s diary when they were arrested.  She risked her own life to do what was the right thing to do to protect other human beings in extra-ordinary difficult circumstances.

             There are so many different kinds of heros in our every day lives if only we stop to think about it.  I think the act of a hero is a call from God to step outside of ourselves to be the hands and feet of Jesus…to be the best person that we can be.

           Do you know someone like this?  Write me a comment and give them a little plug.  Most heros are unsung heros because they don’t believe that they deserve attention for doing what they consider the right thing to do.  And, maybe in one sense they don’t…because we should all be doing these things…but the truth of the matter is, that without examples how will others learn to be heros in their own right?  We must hold up examples of special people who do acts of heroism…because in doing that we are encouraging more of that kind of behavior. 

So is there a hero that you know of doing something wonderful?   What is your hero made of…tell us all about them.  Please comment here and let us know about this person and what they are doing to make the world a better place!  Thanks for being a light!

        Human trafficking or modern day slavery is nothing new unfortunately…it has been in existence since the beginning of time documented in the Bible even.  It is a horrible way to live and it is dehumanizing.  It must stop.  No one should own, buy, or sell another human being for sexual purposes or any other purpose.  Help to spread the awareness of it.  Help to educate people that even joking about or ignoring the prostitute on the street is ignorance of the fact that they may not be prostituting themselves willingly.  They may be a victim of human trafficking/modern slavery. 

        For those people who patronize prostitute, men or women, you may not only be guilty of illegal activity, immoral activity; but, also of an inhuman indecency by subjecting another human being to dehumanizing behavior.  There is a growing trend to visit other countries with the intent of sexual tourism…meaning going to other countries with the intention of using other people for their sexual pleasure.   

        Speak up, speak out tell someone that it is wrong….help someone who needs help by lending a hand to those who are homeless and on the streets, runaways who are vulnerable to those who prey on individuals who appear to be fragile and without a friend, with no one to turn to.  Get involved and call the authorities, talk to teens and tell them of the dangers.

         People disappear every day on the streets of America and all around the world; this includes men, women, teens, and children.  Where do they go, many individuals are never heard from again.  Those that are found and rescued have horrible tales to tell.  A life time of scars and emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual, and sexual healing to do. 

          Believe it or not, but there are actual networks of predators who buy/sell/trade human beings from one area to another all around the world.  Some individuals actually take vacations to other countries to take advantage of those in sexual servitude.  Speak out against such practices.  For updates on this subject and more please visit:  http://www.humantrafficking.org/updates/869

      Many people don’t realize the extent of the problem of homeless youth.  They are at risk for drugs & alcohol addictions, prostitution, violence, human trafficking, HIV, suicide, teen pregnancy, abuse, abortion, early death, mental & physical health problems, and crime & imprisionment.  It doesn’t have to be this way.

       Tellman started out with this challenge in Battery Park in New York in September of 2009; he plans to end the journey within 99 days in California at the Santa Monica Pier.   He has been documenting his journey as he goes.  He started in September as I said, and the route has changed some; which is good considering that winter has fallen in many parts of the northern & eastern states.  He is meeting great people along the way.

         Tellman Knudson believes that the homeless youth are great problem solvers and are good at surviving.  He wants to harness those skills and teach them to reduce their risk- related behaviors; and, to get themselves out of whatever kind of dangerous situations that they are living in.  After he has accomplished that, he hopes to be able to teach them business and life skills using their unique problem solving abilities.  That $100 million dollars will be put to good use.  Tellman knows that this is a group of individuals worth saving…he was once a troubled youth himself who faced many challenges including a debilitating leg condition which hindered his ability to even walk well.   http://runtellmanrun.com/press-and-sponsors/who-is-tellman/

        He has suffered a severely brused, painful heel condition which required him to recently reduce his running schedule.  He has been advised by a doctor to only run 3 miles a day and to only run 5 days a week instead of the 7 that he was running.  This will of course add time to his original plan of running this journey in 99 days time.  No matter, he is following doctors orders and doing as he is told so that he can still achieve his goal.  In the meantime….

       Tellman Knudson is in Atlanta, today, trying to raise funds in the internet community at the Sheraton Hotel where a seminar is being held with many of his friends and supporters.  He asks that we wish him luck; but, I say…even more than that…send him money!  If you go to his page you can donate online, what do you say…are the youth of today worth investing in?  http://runtellmanrun.com/   This isn’t just a holiday charity drive…this is Tellman’s purpose and passion…won’t you help?

       Today, we send our kids to school and don’t know if they are going to be safe; shot, bullied, knifed, or sexually assaulted.  Children can no longer play outdoors without being supervised, even into the teen years because of kidnapping, sexual assaults, or driveby shootings.  Gang activity has become surrogate family for some youths who either can’t avoid getting pulled in or are forced into it by not having a way to get out of it.

         Shopping centers and banks are prone to violence.  Churches have to have guards because of threats of violence or unrest.  Pastors/Priests/Rabbi’s/or other Spiritual Advisors can’t meet with anyone alone for fear of being accused of wrongdoing or out of fear for their safety.  God forbid that they seek the quiet of the church to pray alone or work…because, someone could come in and do them bodily harm.  The sanctity of the church or God’s house is no longer given the respect it deserves as a place of refuge and spiritual nurturing. 

           Driving along the road you can be injured or killed because someone else may have a road rage problem.  Walking to your vehicle from any business can cause you to be kidnapped, mowed over by another vehicle, chased down and raped or beaten.  It is a randomness that can happen to anyone, no matter their training if they happen to be distracted long enough to be vulnerable.

             You can’t get through a year without hearing of someone shooting at vehicles on the highway or dropping items off of an overpass onto unsuspecting travelors.  Office place or work related violence is becoming the norm.  If someone is fired or is not getting along with their co-workers they hatch a plan to kill, maim and destroy.

            Daycares are under attack, children are being killed, tortured or brutalized by the very people who are supposed to love them and protect them…. or by their very own family members.   We have kids killing neighbors, friends…and enemies; young child or elderly, male/female, it does not seem to matter.  They do not care about the well-being of their fellow human beings.  

          Could it be that they have been “desensitized” towards the feelings or safety of others by years of abuse & neglect role modeled in their own families, or on their choice of entertainment-ie: movies, videos, video games, books and magazines?  Some of those entertainments use violence and sexual assault as part of their entertainment.   Do these offenders understand the line between make believe (acting) and real life?  Clearly, I don’t think they do; or if they do, they do not equate their actions with the consequences that are sure to follow!

               Now, as of yesterday…we have our own military personel firing on their own fellow soldiers with the intent to kill, maim and destroy.    Now the analyzers go into action mode trying to understand such an attack…and yes, that is important.  However, I don’t know about you…but, it gets very frustrating to me to hear of any kind of news item of this nature which then turns into a litany of “EXCUSES” for why the event took place.  Whether it was childhood trauma, abuse, or neglect, religious beliefs, terrorism, fear, anxiety, anger issues or control issues, or an inability to connect with others…underneath it all, it doesn’t change the outcome. 

 There has to be common sense used in how we handle these things; otherwise:

            Being raised to be careful will no longer good enough…we will have to raise our children, our teens and instruct our elders to no longer trust, to no longer give the benefit of the doubt about someone’s intentions.  We will have to teach them to be paranoid about being hurt, taken advantage of …of expecting someone to take out their rage from their childhood on the innocent people in their path on the wrong day.  It is a sick way of thinking…but, to survive the violent society that we have allowed the United States of America to become….we will have to always be looking for things to not be right around us.  Don’t just look over your shoulder, don’t just observe the stranger in your neighborhood…you’ll have to watch your neighbor…make sure he or she is “safe” to be around.   This is not a natural way to live our lives!

         Families, communities, schools, businesses, churches and the armed forces have characters from all walks of life.  People with good intentions, good will, and a willingness to treat others with respect, reponsibility, trust, safety and honor are becoming the minority.  Oh there are plenty of good people out there; but, they are starting to feel outnumbered.  We must build people up, encourage them and reward those who do the right things by recognizing them and their deed…simply for the idea that it IS the right thing to do!!!  

          If we don’t get a handle on how we are heading as a society we are going to be living in a war zone…everywhere we go; just like alot of places around the globe.    It is a sad observation of where we have been, where we are now, and where we are on our way to becoming as an American society, in the future, if we don’t attempt to make some p0sitive changes. 

          The reason for this violence?  No one seems to know at this early stage; although a family member said that he was fearful of being deployed to Iraq.   What is known is that soldiers expect danger and violence when they go to war, however they don’t expect on their own home base on American soil from one of their own.  

           The psychological terror and stress this incident has and will continue to instill in our soldiers is going to have a tremendous effect on our military men and women.   It is being said that the shooter was about to be deployed to Iraq.  He was supposedly trained in psychiatry and disaster relief regarding traumatic stress.  What then, could explain his actions (or those who joined him)?  Will we ever know the whole story?

             In the media there is speculation about his background and whether this was an act of terrorism.  I don’t know about his religious/ethnic background…and, I think people need to be very careful not to judge on that score until more information is known; however, it definitely is psychological terrorism. 

               This shooting took place in an area of the base called the Soldier Readiness Facility.  This building is a stop for final medical and or dental treatments before military personel are sent overseas for deployment.   This assault on the troops right before they are deployed is a terrible psychological trauma.  I wonder why a person, who had the kind of medical/psychological training that Mr. Hassan had, would do such a thing?  Did he have a mental breakdown …or did he plan a deliberate attack on his fellow soldiers mental preparations right before they were sent off to war for some other reason?

         This kind of situation damages trust and training that troops are instilled with.  They need to be able to trust and depend on one another.  How can they do that when they don’t know if one of their own is going to open fire or kill their own fellow soldiers?  They have enough to deal with when fighting a war with the enemy…without worrying about having an enemy within their own ranks.

          We have to be careful not to judge any group of people by an individual’s actions.  Everyone is responsible for their own actions; and prejudice is an ugly thing.   There are going to be those who will play the blame game on a particular race, religion or ethnic background; that is not ok.  To know the truth of this horrible violence, we will have to wait for more information to know what is behind this violence.  In the meantime we need to pray for those who were killed , injured or just traumatized; and, for their friends and families. 

It is no secret that human beings need security and stability.  We all like to know that we will have enough food to eat, a place to sleep and people who care about us in our daily lives; a place to come home to…a place to belong.  It keeps us connected, protected and stops us from feeling rejected.  Children who are in foster care, no matter their age, have issues with security and stability; mostly through no fault of their own.   Most children, in care, have suffered through abuse or neglect or they wouldn’t be in the foster care system.   Their lives are in a constant state of chaos; a condition that they have little, or no control over.  That does not feel good on any level.  After all, they are the ones who have to live with the results of any decisions that are made about their future.

For teens who are in the foster care system; the effects are even more pronounced.  You see the chances of finding a permanent adoptive placement, if their parents rights are terminated, are slim.   It can happen and for those that do find a permanent adoptive placement that is stable and healthy…they often are able to find a certain level of peace, after a period of adjustment;  sometimes they do not.  Conflicting emotions can’t be avoided about leaving the tangled web of a biological family to join another family; even if the biological family dynamics are not ideal, from which they came.  It can be heartbreaking,  all children need and deserve love and protection.

For those teens in foster care, who do not find a permanent adoptive placement, even their status as a foster child can be chaotic.  Some placements are broken over, and over again, due to behavior issues, personality conflicts, demands of the court, death, violence, legal issues that can arise out of acting out behaviors…school placement needs and yes, even financial reasons.   Sometimes, as a child nears the “magical” age of 17 or 18 years of age…the system begins it’s process of moving the child out of the court’s jourisdiction.  In other words, they begin to weigh the cost of “caring and providing” services to that teen against the age of the child and conditions surrounding their placement; they start to plan for the release of that foster child into society.

This is where things can become more complicated.  Some agencies don’t want the legal or financial burden that continued care  can place on an agency when a teen is so close to “legal adult status”.  Especially, if the cost of that care includes, expensive psychological/psychiatric care, rehab or institutionalization, services of the juvenile delinquency system, respite care, high medical costs, or specialized placement due to violence or run-away issues.   Still other situations include those such as a teen that is getting close to adult status…but, he or she may not, have any biological family that can or will, stand up and be willing to parent the child/teen.   That is emotionally difficult…and can add much hurt and damage to the young person.

All of that tends to affect their self-esteem, confidence, and the desire for stability in the teen.  Some teens get so anxious that they act out, even more, in school or within the foster home; which only deepens the difficulty in maintaining their placement.   Foster parents are often caught in the middle of the situation because they “work” for the agency through which they are licensed and are obligated to uphold whatever decisions are made when it comes to the placement.

So, if an agency or a court system decides to “release” a teen to live on their own…even though they may not have completed their high school education, have a job, or an appropriate place to live…the foster family is often forbidden to continue to provide a home for them.  Once they are no longer a ward of the court, and the foster parent has other children in the home…it then could violate their agreement with the agency who licenses them to “allow” a person who is not a “family” member to stay there; even though that child may have lived there for months or years with the same “family” members.   It makes little sense to me.

If you know an individual or foster family who is struggling with such a situation…you can be a conduit for finding a place for that older child or teen to belong.   It is hard enough for anyone starting out in life…but, if you come from a place of dysfunction because of family issues in the birth family and spend time in foster care because of it…it can affect that person for life.

Everyone needs to feel good about themselves and what they are trying to achieve.   Spread the word to people who would be appropriate to help this young person to transition to adulthood; by allowing them to finish their education or continue it, providing a job, emotional support, maybe even some financial help to getting established, help them to find a church to support them in their efforts to start out on their own.    All of those pieces of the puzzle are needed to allow this young person to grow into an individual who is a productive, happy, well educated and on a positive path instead of perpetuating patterns of negative behaviors and actions that they may have picked up along the way.  Any ideas on how you can help someone to find a permanent place to belong that is condusive to living a long and healthy, productive and happy life as a young adult?