The majority of Christians have stepped away from not only this prediction of day and time but those of others who have predicted Judgment day in the past.  I have heard that Jesus is coming soon most of my life…however, soon is a matter of opinion.  I DO believe that Jesus is the son of God and that he is returning for those who believe in him and those who are serving him on a daily basis…living their lives according to what the scriptures tell them to do to be Holy.

Already the news people are moving the story to the back of the page.  The story mentions that are appearing now, are that the Rapture has not happened on the other side of Earth where it is already May 22, 2011.

You need to read the Bible if you are truly interested in the End Times.  There are people who don’t know the signs to look for.   Wars and rumors of wars, natural disasters, politcal unrest around the world…these things are happening.  There are other signs as well.   Our world is going to end and there will be a new Heaven and a new Earth…but you must read the Bible or consult with a Bible Believing counselor, pastor or advisor who knows about the subject.  The Bible says be not fooled by those who claim peace…many will want to believe because the world is so troubled; but that is when the anti-Christ will appear and seem so able to handle things promising and doing things that people will be fooled by.  Read the word and be informed.

It is no joke…one day..again…no one knows the day or the time…God is coming back for those who have confessed that Jesus is the Lord and Savior of all who believe.   Are you ready? If you have sins in your life…or your life has areas that need dealing with and cleaning up…talk to God.  Got problems that feel too big to handle, or a feeling of emptiness that just can’t get filled up with all the things that the world has to offer?  Been abused, abandoned, hurt or been the one doing those things? God can fix it all, if you give him a chance.  Get your heart right…open the doors of communication through prayer and tell God that you are ready for him to come into your heart and make it right.

My own personal belief is that homosexuality is wrong…a sin if you will, however, I do not think that this group or any group has the right to protest at someone’s funeral.  This is a time for a family & friends to grieve and honor their loved ones.    I think that Westboro’s conduct or behavior is shameful for a church and shows a lack of compassion or love for their fellow man/woman; and, that there are better ways to communicate their beliefs or faith.  To me it is now more like a legal sort of bullying that has the stamp approval from the Supreme Court (except for one Supreme Court Justice).

Much of the controversy comes from the fact that most of the protests include signs and words that label individuals as gays, fags or homosexuals…or sinners going to hell because of their ethnicity (Jews-non Christian), race, or religion that Westboro claims are false religions.  Many of these protests have been at funerals for military personnel who have gone to war to protect the freedoms of fellow Americans.  I think it is an outrage that a ceremony of grief for family and friends could be violated by these “protests” that exude hatred and disrespect.  While I think that most Americans would say that they have a right to their opinion…with or without a law to back it up; I believe that what is most upsetting is that their right to say it in whatever form they choose, feels as if they are stepping over the rights of those who they are protesting against.

The Westboro Baptist Church calls themselves Christian…but they do not appear to show the love of God.  Scripture says that homosexual behavior is an abomination/sin.   Yet scripture also says to love the sinner but hate the sin.  What these protests communicate has nothing of love associated with them.  It is all negative words and actions.

My feeling is that since the Supreme Court has upheld their right to protest at the funerals, and in public venues against whomever they decide to protest against; not out of any great love for Westboro’s beliefs and standards, but out of a sense of protecting everyone’s right to freedom of speech; I would like to know where responsibility comes into the discussion.  When people have a freedom of speech…do they not have a responsibility not to cause harm?

Accusing people of being a homosexual, or of belonging to, or promoting a “false” religion…can cause harmful consequences.  Denigrating a person because of their race, or religion appears to come across as an unnecessarily cruel use of words to get their beliefs known.  To me it also seems counterproductive, if their goal is to persuade others to their way of thinking.  These protests can “cost” a community or city a great deal of money to intervene with police protection to prevent violence from breaking out in certain circumstances.  Are there no legal repercussions for a group to take into consideration the harm that they can inflict upon a group or an individual, or even a community by the words that they fling towards others?

Do you think that the Westboro Baptist Church should be allowed to continue doing what they are doing?  Do you think that their actions reflect badly on other Christians?  Now that the Supreme Court has upheld their right to continue these protests, do you think that they will increase their protests around the country?  How do you feel about what they do at these protest?  Is it the American way to allow it to continue…or an outrage?

        The solution was the wonderful hospitality house that is connected to Spectrum Hospital downtown Grand Rapids, Michigan called the Renucci Hospitality House.   I can’t tell you what a wonderful service this Renucci House offers.  It was built in 1999 and helps to house family members of the hospital’s patients that are in need of having a place close by to sleep and rest.  It was designed to provide comfort and rest for the weary soul.  There is a small healing garden that is darling.  There is a playroom for young siblings or children of the hospital patient.  The staff is wonderful and caring, from the hosts to the cleaning crew.   There is a computer for the patient’s family members to use, a laundry facility, an exercise room…and quiet rooms for relaxing.  The dinning room is open 24-7 and the kitchen is stocked with non-perishable food items for those moments when food or drink is needed.

        The Renucci House was founded by Peter P. Renucci and his wife Patricia Renucci.  Back in 1968 one of their children was born through a premature situation and had to stay in the hospital’s neonatal unit.  This was the basis of their awareness of the need to be close to your loved one who is in crisis.   They helped to fund the Renucci House with a gift of $1.6 million because they wanted to thank the community for what had been done for their family.  This is a gift that keeps on giving with a pay it forward theme that I love.

       The atmosphere is one of love, support and healing.  You feel very comforted if you find yourself in need of the Renucci House.  It goes beyond the staff or the comfortable rooms.  There is a very wonderful program of volunteerism that happens here.  Organizations, churches, families and individuals are encouraged to give of their time, talents, and blessings.  You can volunteer to donate and prepare meals for the families who are staying there.   This is normally a great expense for families who must stay nearby their family members during a hospital stay; it may be an expense the family cannot afford.   Truly, this is a huge blessing and one that shows an important part of caretaking and nurturing of families in crisis. 

         Our family benefitted from several meals that had been prepared and served by some of these volunteers.  It was a service that was provided with joy by the volunteers; and that was a wonderful blessing.  The meals were wonderful from the main dish to the salads, drinks and desserts.  One evening, a church had their youth providing community service help to serve the families of the Renucci House.  It was a group of fifth graders and their mentors.  These people went out of their way to be of service to those who stayed there that evening.  They mingled and interacted with the families and showed great care.   I think it is great that young people are being taught the importance of giving back to a community through volunteering their time, skills and willingness to be of service.  Kudos to those involved.

         Volunteers are encouraged to come and bake in the kitchen homemade baked goods or some other treat.  Put together snacks or care bags for the families.  This also opens the door to have conversations with family members who may need someone to talk to.  Comfort and peace are evident throughout the Renucci House because of the volunteer programs.

        The Renucci House actually operates quite a bit through their volunteer programs…from donated non-perishable food items which stock the kitchen for family members to use when they need it; to volunteers to help pay for the family members stay who can not afford to pay, to help cover the cost of staying in the Renucci House.   This is a big deal if a hospital stay goes on for very long.  Family members may have a hard time paying for their rooms, or much needed items to be able to stay close to their loved ones.   Some volunteers give gift cards to be used at local stores or restaurants in the area.    Perhaps donating a telephone calling card would benefit families who are staying at the Renucci House but have long distance calls to make.   Talk to the manager of the house to see if current magazines can be donated or perhaps you have a nurturing spirit and have time to greet guests or maybe volunteer to help in the library.  Empty nesters  or retirees who find themselves with time on their hands may wish to do something meaningful with all of their spare time.   The Renucci House volunteers provide breakfast and dinners daily…they need a large number of volunteers who are willing to provide this needed service.

       You know, the Renucci House is near to the Lemmen -Holton Cancer Pavilion, the Devos Children’s Hospital, and the Lena Meijer Heart Center; all of these facilities have patients and families.   There is a huge need to support those patients and their families at a time when they are facing some of the biggest battles of their lives.   Often there are so many emotions to deal with such as fear, anxiety, depression, sadness and hope.  The Renucci House provides the basics to allow people to cope with their emotions.   Please, spread the word, volunteer and give help when and where you can.  Having compassion and opening your hearts to opportunities to help is an important part of life…please get involved.   You never know when you or someone you care about may need some of those same things.

        If someone has time or talent to give or just feels moved to donate monitarily to the Renucci House you can contact their house manager at (616) 391-1790.  

 You can view their website here: http://www.spectrum-health.org/renucci .  My family is going to volunteer soon…we may even take our youth group down and prepare a meal for the family members in the near future.  As a family who has benefitted from a stay at the Renucci House recently, I want to say thank you to all of the volunteers, to the staff of the Renucci House and to the Renucci Family themselves for impacting the Grand Rapids community and it’s surrounding area with love, compassion and support.  You are appreciated greatly!

When a young person, no matter how troubled, crosses your path and you have the chance to positively impact their life…take it from me..you need to be bold, by doing or saying what needs to be said or done.  What you think may annoy them or offend is not as important as avoiding a potential event if that person has time to think through the things that they are doing with their life.

Not so long ago, such an opportunity came and went.  Several of us tried to touch the lives of the young men who momentarily passed through our youth group.  They had varying degrees of response to the spiritual teachings and to the adults trying to make a connection with them.  One young man was a rubber ball; oh he came back a few times…but he wasn’t there for spiritual guidance.  He appeared to be there for social reasons. 

That isn’t terribly unusual.  What is unusual is that there seemed to be little to no positive impact on his life; his heart was not about to let anyone in deep enough to touch him spiritually or emotionally.  Everything was funny to him or made him angry.  He did not respect authority nor did he appear to have a good relationship with any of the other teens in attendance, even though he went to school with them.

In fact, he seemed to flaunt his defiance and rebellion.   He instilled fear in some of the kids because of his actions and his attitude.  He threatened some, he disobeyed requests to respect bare minimum requests for appropriate behavior.  Mostly, he just put in a couple of  appearances and left the place “untouched or unchanged”.

One of the other two that came was a bit older.   This young man knew scripture and could quote it.  I had no knowledge of this person before he came to visit, the one and only time that he came to the youth group.  However, others knew of him.  He freely admitted that he was not living right (even though his family had taught him about God and living according to his guidelines).  This made me sad; yet, I was hopeful because he seemed to have a foot on both sides of the fence.  He was young, intelligent and had the capability of making the right choice.

Do not be fooled…people can’t live that way indefinitely; eventually, you must get off of the fence and make a choice on how you conduct yourself in life.   It comes down to a choice of living in a Godly way or choosing to do whatever you want regardless of the consequences.   Of course the news story has not yet been tried in court; so we do not know if what is being charged to these young people, is in fact what happened beyond a shadow of a doubt.   However, these young men that visited our youth group are now being charged with a murder.

Initially, as I said the younger man was totally defiant and the first one seemed to be trying to choose which way he was going to go.  I had hoped that he would choose the correct path.  His family I am sure was praying for the same outcome.  They both had been in trouble with the law before and were on probation, they said.  Drugs & alcohol appeared to be a part of the problem.  The older one seemed to be trying to come to terms with how he was going to go forward while on probation; while the other was mocking the system and made light of all of the wrongs they had done previously.  That never bodes well for anyone…to have an experience that is meant to teach us a lesson and to laugh in the face of it. 

While I know that everyone make mistakes; some people turn their lives around and others do not.  What makes the difference???  I don’t know, I wish that I did.   Many lives could be kept from making tragic mistakes that have huge and horrific consequences, if only someone had the answer to that question.

We always tell our teens that God is there; and he is.  He knocks and waits for a person to answer the door.  He patiently and lovingly keeps an eye on you and keeps trying to call your name so that your life is one of purpose and value.  One that is full of promise and hope.  He forgives mistakes and he wants for you to turn to him before life gets out of control; as long as the person truly is sorry for their mistakes and makes an effort to learn from it, when they ask God to forgive he does.  

Even when we make mistakes God never leaves us; he will be there when we need to pick up the tattered remains of our lives.  It is not too late for these young men (or anyone) to ask God to be the ruler of their lives.  It won’t undo the loss of  life, if they were indeed responsible for this person’s death.  However, God can make good come from any evil act or darkness in a person’s life.

Still, let’s not forget that justice will be served.  Forgiveness does not entitle anyone to be exempt from punishment.  There are c0nsequences to our actions…both good and bad.  It is hard to hear but it is a fact of life.

A life was lost and it cannot be returned.   That person’s family and friends will want justice…some will even want revenge.  Things do not have to be this way, a person’s future if you are convicted, is not one of freedom of choice.  It seems such a waste to have a whole life before you, only to throw it away; and for what reason?  A party, a moment of rebellion, a reckless decision, a fleeting moment of pleasure?  A choice that sometimes has a high price for the decision maker; care must be taken not to make choices that will waste the time we have here with our friends and family. 

 The victim had friends and family too, and they will be grieving.   Young men did you take this person’s life?  I don’t know.  But still i wonder, why didn’t you hear him when God called your name?  Or if you heard him, why didn’t you respond in a way that allowed God to be present in your daily life?  If you did, then the murder victim would still be alive, your family would not be facing a life without you in it on a daily basis, you would not be sitting in prison, when instead, you could be having a life full of all of the good things that God intended for you.

Why was your rebellion (of choosing drugs and violence) so much more important than choosing a life of right?  Why is it that the things God meant for you to hear fell away from you like water off of a ducks back?  Having rules and guidelines in life helps keep us accountable and out of situations that can destroy us.  Having parents, teachers, law enforcement, bus drivers etc who give you boundaries to follow aren’t doing it to make your life miserable; in fact, it is just the opposite, they care enough to tell you when you have crossed a line of inappropriate behavior, to help you do what is right.  It really is for your own good and the good of others.

Even though you were not a part of our youth group, on a permanent basis, I grieve that you have been accused of this murder.  I am sad that it is even a possibility that it could be true.  I am heartbroken for the victim’s friends and family.  I am horrified that the victim died a needless death full of pain, only to be discarded like something left behind that had no value.

Our world is becoming too full of these kinds of stories.   Stories filled with a lack of respect for others, violence, lack of accountability, a sense of entitlement, drugs/alcohol, low self-esteem, death, rape, anger, loneliness, sadness, abuse, lack of education, jail/prison, isolation, and so many other negative things that are harmful to our society.  There are too many lives that are destroyed by those who can’t or won’t respect authority and the rules of society; at home, in school, at church, on the streets or in any other environment.  There are too many innocent people who have to suffer from the negative choices that others make.   If we all tried to follow the rules that God set before us then there would be so much less suffering in the world.

My heart wonders if you have had time yet to wish that you had heard God when he called your name.  How many others will find themselves in situations of their own making because they have chosen to rebel and ignore the concerns of their loved ones?  How can we keep those we care about from making choices that harm themselves or others when they are living outside of God’s protection?  What can we learn from these horrible stories?

        These things can be overcome.  Set your mind to helping to heal, correct, comfort, console and bring peace to those around you who are hurting.   Taking that action doesn’t have to cost alot of money, it can be a simple thing like a wordless hug…a small gift… a card sent with personal words of love and support…or clearing your schedule to listen to them vent…offering to share their load if you can. 

         If you know them well enough, you probably know what brings them comfort and peace.   Whatever action you chose to take, do it with love, kindness, and patience…it will be greatly appreciated and eventually rewarded by seeing them overcome whatever obstacle or challenge has come before them.    After all, you never know when your actions might cause a pay it forward kind of moment that blesses others.

        Giving another person hope and encouragement is a wonderful thing.   It can be contagious and become a light in the dark world that sometimes surrounds us.

         It is a little bit like the song my husband was taught as a child, “You can’t ride in my little red wagon, the backseat’s broke and the axel’s draggin, chug, chug, chug-a-luga-lug,Second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse, You can’t ride in my little red wagon, the backseat’s broke and the axel’s draggin, chug, chug, chug-a-luga-lug, Third verse same as the first, a little bit louder and a whole lot worse”…you get the idea!   Nothing changes…it just keeps on keeping on.   The sameness just takes on a life of it’s own.

          Or…the children’s song: 

         This is the song that never ends…it could go on and on my friend, some people starting singing it not knowing what to do, and they’ll continue singing it forever just because, This is the song that never ends…it could go on and on my friend, Some people starting singing it not knowing what to do, and they’ll continue singing it forever….just because…This is the song that NEVER ENDS…………..etc.

          Those examples might be catchy at first…exciting in fact when beginning but by the third time around…you get bored, you want to move on…and yet…you feel trapped into the rhythm of it all.   You can’t seem to get it out of your head.  It is the same in life…whatever you are doing seems great for a time…but, when you feel like moving on and nothing happens to break the rhythm…you feel trapped…you get bored and frustrated.   Nothing satisfys you anymore…everything feels like deja vu….been there before and done that.   Disappointments and broken dreams seem to pile up in the corner.   How do you break out of  these patterns?  How do you set the wheels of change into motion?  How do you restart the passion and the joy in your step…build excitement about what you are doing, where you are going, and how you are getting there during the process?

         I think you must start with some brainstorming.  Grab a piece of paper and your favorite writing utensil.  Open up your mind and your heart.  Start a Wish list or a List of Dreams…these are ideas without limits.  As soon as a negative thought pops into your head…squash it like a bug.  For example…if you have ever had a desire to be something like a window washer on a high rise building (but you immediately throw that idea out because you are afraid of heights…that right there is a negative thought…put the dream down in writing…a high rise window washer) …Whatever your dream or wish is…list it.   Maybe it is a desire to be a concert pianist (and you can’t even play chopsticks yet)…list the dream/or skill.   No matter how far fetched it may seem…no matter how problematic it could be to make it happen.  Put it on the list.

         Write down every desire you’ve ever had, or still have, for your life.  Then on another piece of paper, write all of the roles, jobs, responsibilities, or tasks that you would love to get rid of in your life.  Doesn’t matter whether you really think that you can get rid of those things or expectations…or how inconvienced someone else would be if you were to get rid of those particular items…Write it down.   Matter of a fact, write down whatever it is that you feel is holding you back from reaching out and grabbing those dream items from the starry heavens. 

           Next, put the two lists side- by- side.  Do you notice any connections?  Do you see any relatable ideas, themes or items?  Can you see any connections at all?  Is there patterns to the things that hold you back…do they all go back to one area of your life that brings you unhappiness, dissatifaction, anxiety, anger, resentment or fear? 

           Next you need to grab another sheet of paper and write down any kind of practical solutions that would resolve your inability to build upon your dreams or your wish list…laying a foundation for achieving your goals in those areas.  Find ways both big and small that will start removing the obstacles from your path to regaining joy in forward and productive movement again…to feeling excitement in getting out of bed and putting your hands, your heart and your mind to work on the things that make a difference in your life.   Can you hear a melody yet, feel the rhythm, or sense a tempo beginning to come together…when you hear the harmony…it all starts to sound beautiful again.  Maybe you want to sing along…sway to the music, grab ahold of the emotion of the music and enjoy it just because it makes you smile again.

         The biggest joy stealers in life are resentment and bitterness at giving up on your goals and dreams because you don’t feel like you have permission to have them in your life.  Give yourself permission.  You may just find out that the situations and the people in your life that you feel would not support you in your quest/journey could very well find your bravery, in the pursuit of happiness and joy, inspiring.  

          Finally, seek God’s guidance from the beginning to the end of your seeking.  Ask him to remove obstacles, clear your pathway…and hit you over the head about which direction you should go.  Sometimes, we don’t ask him the right questions about his plans for our lives; we are more concerned about our own wants and desires, than we are about fulfilling our assignments or purpose.  When we are the most frustrated about our lives it is when he is readying us for change.  He has allowed us to feel dissatisfied about where we are…so that we are motivated to go through the struggle in changing our circumstances.   When we are in alignment with his purpose for us we will achieve things more easily, they will practically reveal themselves to us in a way that seems almost magical or surreal.

         Think about it; when we are comfortable, content or accepting of our lot in life…what reason under the sun do we have to change our course?  There is none.  So he allows us to feel the discomfort, the prompting in our spirit for something more…something different…something challenging…so that we feel the need to make changes.  Look to his leading…listen with all of your mind, your heart and your soul.  Don’t just look for the answers you want to hear…listen to his answer, even if it seems farfetched.   He goes before us and clears the way when we are seeking his guidance.  Our human minds often see no sensible way to make things happen, but if it is his desire for us, he makes things happen in an awe inspiring way.  Your  true satisfaction could be right around the corner from where you are standing!

         If God gave us all of the answers to our questions immediately, and, answered them the way we wanted him to…we would be right back in the same boat that we find ourselves in, day in and day out.  We have to feel stimulated, challenged, excited about the future so that we are encouraged to move forward; sometimes against difficult situations.   So the next time you feel in limbo, out of sorts and boxed in…think about when you feel that way; what is happening at that time…what would you like to see happen in your life that would open doorways to your true purpose?   Now, is there something that you want or need changed in your life?  What are you going to chose to do about it?

         Michigan needs jobs to be sure…but, many Michigan residents do not want to be that close to the turmoil that is going to be generated by the trials for these detainees.   These trials could have the potential of becoming an epi-center of protest, violence and or, additional acts of terrorism.  Michigan is not that desperate for jobs.  It is true that Michigan has closed down some prisons in the state and there are many corrections officers in need of jobs…but, this situation is extra-ordinary.   We know so little of what these inmates are being held for…their specific alleged acts of terrorism.  The government doesn’t release that kind of information. 

       Is it fair to have corrections officers in charge of those who are alleged to have been a part of extreme violence if they are not trained to work with such prisoners?  Shouldn’t that be a military responsibility?  Because of national security, we know very little in the civilian world about the risks of housing these inmates.   I just wonder if there is a prison that is secure enough and in an area of isolation that would provide enough safety for those in the surrounding areas near the prison.   There are more questions than answers regarding this situation that is allegedly supposed to be resolved near the end of this year… and that doesn’t leave much time to figure it out and take appropriate action.

          In my mind, this issue is going to be like the issue of barges that were refused to be allowed to dock, years ago, because there was no state or country willing to take the cargo on the barges….loads of trash.  Everyone knew that it needed to be dealt with but, noone wanted it in their own backyard.  No one wanted the responsibility of figuring out what to do with it. 

           These human prisoners from Guantanamo Bay need to have their legal situations resolved.   Human beings are more important than barges of trash…they can not wait forever to either go to trial for terrorism (if they have evidence against them) or, they need to be released back to the country from which they came.   Many of the detainees have alleged abuse or neglect while in custody.  Some have voiced complaints about religious violations, in the way that they were treated during their imprisonment.   How will all of these issues be resolved when so little information is released to the public?  If more information is released to the public, will it fan the flames of hatred and distrust?  Things are not simple or clear on how things will proceed.

          They are going to be moved soon as President Obama is planning on closing down the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba…and, no one is going to want the responsibility of housing them for fear of repercussions by extremists.   Who would be in control of the proceedings; the government, the military, or the judicial system?  Where should they be moved to; and, how do you protect the safety of  those people living and working around whatever prison you move them to while they wait to go to trial?  What do you think should happen?

          Some people get overbooked because they are so willing to work and offer their time, simply because that is who they are.  However, because not everyone is built the same way…there is always need…much of it is legitimate and can improve the lives of others.  However, remember some people will take advantage of your generous nature if you don’t respect yourself and set clear boundaries.  

           If you often find yourself as the go to person, when it is costing you high stress or anxiety because you must shuffle your own load to meet other people’s expectations then you must examine whether you have set clear and appropriate boundaries in your life with others, that allows you to be the most productive, the most effective person that you can be in accomplishing your own purpose each and every day.   On this blog, I did a post yesterday on setting boundaries…you may want to check it out if this is an area of difficulty for you.  If you compromise yourself too much it will cause you harm.

         Life isn’t like a cell phone plan…you can’t run out and buy more minutes when you have over-extended your time limits.  It is helpful to remember…that time is limited.  None of us are promised a set amount of time.  You must put your time and energy where it can do the most good; and, give it willingly in areas that are the most important to you. 

        Finding joy and satisfaction in helping others is great; as long as it doesn’t start to take you away from your own purpose in life…we all have things that we are supposed to accomplish while we are here.  It would become easy to get bogged down in other people expectations and demands  and discover later that you are filled with bitterness, anger, frustration, guilt or anxiety because you just can’t do and be all for everyone all of the time.  Do a self-evaluation each and every day to discover what is of the highest priority and do those things; if there is enough time to do “extra” things than fit them in accordingly…or scatter them throughout the week or month.  You can then feel excitement and joy at achieving your goals AND helping others by volunteering and being a blessing in the lives of others…because it won’t feel like you are guilted into it or backed into a corner.   With this mindset, you are giving and volunteering because you want to…that, is giving from the right place in your heart and mind.

       You only have one life…how are you spending your time?

       While I think everyone started out with the best of intentions…somewhere along the line…things became unbalanced and in doing so, became enabling to some pretty negative behaviors.    I think that I have come to the decision that a person must be vigiliant about their personal boundaries, with regards to expectations with the relationships in your life.   Taking control again of your life and resetting your boundaries, or expectations, feels good.  

         At some point, you must let go of your expectations and allow that person to either move on and fly on their own power…or, get used to feeling like you are not being respected or treated appropriately.   The last option is not healthy for anyone on either side of the coin.

          Lowering your standards or expectations to “help” another individual even temporarily; can have ill effect on your relationships, your job performance, your emotions, your health, and even your self-esteem.    I am not advocating someone to be rigid or inflexible towards others; but, only to say, do not compromise your own personal belief system or values while trying to help them. 

          The reason for this is that people will not necessarily conform to your values even if you are “helping” them.    If they feel pressured to change then they will feel controlled.  If their negative choices or behaviors start to affect your quality of life…then resentment sets in.  It is best at this point to step back, and re-evaluate whether that person really wanted help at all; or simply, wanted a safety net.  

           How much better would it be to communicate openly and honestly about expectations and boundaries before commitments are made?   Not everyone operates under the same rules of engagement when it comes to levels of honesty and communication.  You must for your own well-being, live with your boundaries firmly in place; there is nothing wrong with having boundaries in relationships, it is what keeps things healthy.  People must have some sense of balance in their relationships for them to work in a healthy way.    Be aware, be well, be healthy in your relationships!

         The dealerships are crying foul.  They also say that the reasoning for some of the closures is not logical or fair.  For their part, the automakers are saying that there are too many dealerships for moving the merchandise at a profit.  In some places, there are competing dealerships in the same area that just is not profitable when the automakers market share has gone down compared to their competitors .   However, what about those agreements for the franchises…who made those deals?   The automakers had to authorize them in the first place, right?   So who’s fault is it if there are too many dealerships in the same area?

         I read a letter in a news article, from the owner of one of the dealerships that is being closed against his will.   He stated that he felt it was not right to close the franchises against the owners will, when they were profitable and fulfilling their end of the agreement.  He says that he has invested millions and millions into not only the vehicle merchandise, but the property itself as well as, the buildings and such.  Only to be closed against his will; and have much of his business handed over to his local competitor, with no logical reasoning that can explain why his dealership, and not the next one is the one being closed instead.  If the franchises are in good standing…what was it that qualified one dealership to be closed and another to stay open?

           I read another article that compared these closures to the kind of forfeiture of property that took place in Europe when the Nazi’s hearded up the Jewish people forcing them into the concentration camps…claiming their money and their property.  This  kind of conduct is immoral and illegal.  People took too long to stand up to Hitler; and look where that took the people of the world…to the near destruction of the Jewish people and others who tried to help them.   Many nations fought to overcome the dictatorship that took place in Germany.  It took courage, going against the tide of that governmental total control-mindset.   How will we as a nation, handle decisions of this nature…will we change all the rules and regulations if they dont happen to fit the current situation just to achieve temporary goals?  If something is legal and binding…don’t we have to go to court to try to change the laws before change is enacted?

         Here in America, there are movements taking place to stand up to this perceived injustice for the owners of the dealerships.  On Tuesday of this week, an amendment was approved by a committee in the House to make the automakers honor their franchise agreements.  Now that General Motors has come through the bankruptsy process in record time (40 days) they are going to try to fight that agreement.  They are saying that it could jeapardize their progress as they try to climb out of the bankruptsy situation.   Is it even legal to end the franchise agreements against the owners wishes?

          Already we are hearing how things won’t be business as usual.   Producing a car and purchasing one will be much faster.   How streamlined they are going to be.  How customers will be buying their vehicles online through things like some kind of online auction  “revolutionary” process.  I don’t know about you, but I like to test drive my vehicles before I buy them.  I like to look them over…I want to see how it handles.  Not to mention, many people have a problem with a big government, that seeks to get bigger and get more control, over more areas of their daily lives.

         I think that they are forgetting that people have had very strong opinions about the government bailout in the first place.  There is an underlying anger not only from employees who have had their positions eliminated or downsized, but from retirees who have had benefits cut; as well as, a nation of potential customers who are loosing their homes, their incomes and health benefits…all of which has destabilized the infrastruction of this country.  People are nervous about making major purchases, and not only that…many people are against government getting involved in business, in this way.   Will GM even have a big customer base when this is all said and done?

         How will this turn out for the dealership owners who have been forced out by the bankruptsy proceedings and restructuring plan?  Are they going to get a raw deal; or, will those in the House (and Senate) stand up for the private business owner and let the chips fall where they may with the free enterprise system?  Let the customers decide who stays in business by providing the best service possible…not some bean counter somewhere who has no idea about the kind of impact he/she is going to have on local communities and the people in them.   What do you think about his mess?