The incident involved the forced, and coerced, tattooing of a 14 year old special needs student.  This student had been exposed to bullying at school; and, these so called adults (all over the age of 18) allegedly told him that the bullying would stop if he got a tattoo.  He said he didn’t want one; but still, he was allegedly threatened and forced to get a tattoo which had some kind of image along with obscene words on his buttocks. 

         Tattoos take time to apply to a person; even when a person wants to have one.  I can’t imagine what this young man endured during this “procedure”.  He’s been taunted at school by other students who are picking on him because of his special needs and then he is assaulted in this way.  Not only is he physically scared but he is also emotionally scared because these people chose to humiliate and abuse him. 

         This whole situation came to the attention of the authorities because pictures of this young 14 year old abuse victim were being circulated at school and a teacher reported it to the authorities when they became aware of the pictures.    Thank you to the unknown teacher who had the courage to do the right thing!  Teachers don’t often get enough credit these days for what they do at school for our kids.  Often, teachers are on the first line of defense when it comes to protecting special needs students from abuse or bullying.   Along the same lines, other students who are caring and filled with the strength of character to be an advocate for special needs students are becoming more rare these days.  To those of you who do the right thing in these types of situations…I thank you as well.

        I wonder, just how many people saw these photos and laughed?  Were they amused at the image, the words, or just the fact that someone that they considered to be of a lessor value than they themselves, or one of their friends, was put in this position of having their picture plastered all over the school for others to look at and make fun of him? 

         Were they not moved by compassion to report such a terrible crime?  How can a person take joy in the torture, humiliation, or abuse of another person; whether they know them or not?  Is not a special needs person worthy of protection, compassion, or caring? 

          I mean, even if someone does not know a special needs person; don’t they understand that they have feelings and emotions just like they themselves?  Everyone wants to feel safe, be loved, be accepted and have friends at school.  It is unacceptable that this situation was turned into a source of entertainment by some students. 

          The victim here was only 14 years old.  I think that those pictures should be considered sexual exploitation by anyone who had access to them or viewed them and did not report it.  Any person who was passing along the photos to others should suffer consequences as well as the people who were involved in the actual abuse of this young man.

       How can people who are supposedly blessed with average or above intellectual abilities treat another human being in this way?  What gives them the right to consider themselves better than another person; simply because of a perceived imperfection called special needs?   It is wrong, it is cruel, it is immoral, and it is…ILLEGAL. 

       Parents, teachers, neighbors, grandparents, church leaders we must all take our roles of leadership seriously and start instilling in our young people tolerance, compassion and empathy towards others; especially the most vulnerable individuals in our society such as young children, the elderly or those who are afflicted with disabilities.   It is important that we do this because as a nation, we are losing our moral compass because people who can do these kind of horrible things to their fellow human beings and not see something wrong with it are becoming more common everyday.

         Hello…no-one SHOULD have to tell another person that this kind of behavior is wrong.   However, New Hampsire’s court system should make it clear; because these four individuals in New Hampshire have been arrested and charged for their actions.   Let’s hope that the legal system really makes an impact on others who think they can be cruel, and treat other human beings any way they want to and get away with it; by making the legal punishment fit the crime.   The punishment should be large enough to send a message to anyone else who may consider bullying or abusing a special needs individual, that it is NOT the right thing to do!   What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for someone who abuses another person in this way?

Bullying is more complicated these days because of the way in which it is done; it is psychological, it is persistent, and it can include threats, violence, or even sexual threats.  Most people over the age of 40 remember the school bully…you know the one.  He/She was the person who everyone feared and gave a wide berth to just because he sought out and picked on those he/she knew for a fact that they could take on and win.  We all have had some relationship to that kind of person.   However, now it seems that there is a group mentality when bullying or persistent harassment starts up.

  Back when i was growing up you had one of two options…ignore that person and stay far away from them or “stand up to them” and work up your courage to go toe to toe.  Remember the childhood phrase that we were all taught…sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you?  That couldn’t be farther from the truth; we all know that words have the power to destroy a person’s self-worth and the value of that person in the eyes of others.

Everyday it seems that we hear about another child/teen/college student that has been bullied or cyber stalked and trash talked about.  Many of those cases either end in a suicide or a violent attack or even in some cases of extreme bullying…a retribution plan of attack on a school with a violent outburst.  Lives are ruined, hearts and minds are damaged; many individuals end up in prison because of bullying.

 A real danger is people who think that bullying is a normal part of growing up…it isn’t and it should not ever be allowed.  Making excuses and telling a victim of such behavior to just ignore it is equal to nullifying their experience with bullying…which in effect tells them that they are powerless to change their circumstance in a positive way.

There is a hopelessness about our young people.   Many of them, in a desperate need to feel something, are self mutilating, becoming promiscuous,  developing eating disorders, or diving into the world of drug/alcohol addictions in reaction to their feelings about themselves and their lack of proper treatment by others.   They have been conditioned to think that nothing is going to change for the better; so they feel angry, bitter, broken and depressed.

 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it doesn’t affect you, your children, your grandchildren, or the children in your church or neighborhood.  It does; and things are getting desperate.  Kids feel threatened, they feel demeaned and they feel powerless…so, many of them will arm themselves and things escalate quickly.   This is good for no one.

Respect for themselves as well as others is important to fight bullying.  Finding mentors for our young people is helpful…getting involved in sports or extra curricular activities that give them an appropriate sense of pride in themselves and their involvement.  Community service that gives them a sense of personal value and connects them to others who recognize their strengths and talents.  Inspiring hope and promise for a future is what kids need.  Instead, we often find that our young people aren’t getting those important messages about themselves.

With all of the new technology, kids are able to be “connected” 24 hours a day to not only their friends; but also, to people who wish them harm.  This connection includes cell phones, cell phone pictures, texts, email, chat lines, websites and forums.   Kids live in the midst of a multi-media blitz in their lives in school and at home.  Pay attention to them closely; watch for any changes in behavior, attitude, relationships and moods.  It could be life and death-for them and anyone who is in their lives, personally and socially.

Don’t think, not my child, not my child’s friend or the kids in my youth group.  I’ve worked with kids most of my adult life; for well over 30 years and things have broken down.  Kids, even good ones have low self esteem, they are depressed, frightened and angry.   Many of them don’t feel loved (even when they are), they don’t feel valued, appreciated or listened to.  They feel trapped and alone or isolated…even when they are surrounded by friends and activities.  It is a recipe for disaster not to recognize the patterns or seeds of destruction.

In truth, it makes you want to build a fortress around them to protect them against those who seek them out to do them harm.  So what can a parent, an educator, a spiritual leader, a friend, or a sibling do to help those caught in the web of persistent bullying/stalking?

First of all, pay attention.  Listen closely, monitor things…set limits of exposure online.  Talk to them and their friends about situations of bullying in their school or social networks.  Document any kind of negative interaction…write it down, talk to the school administration, file a report, alert teachers, bus drivers, neighborhood watches to any kind of bullying or violent situations that may come up.  Create a network of awareness and prevention where you can.  Ask your school to bring in safety experts and relationship experts who are trained in these areas of concern. 

Expect there to be resistence from the powers that be.  Many of them will give lip service to the no tolerance rule of bullying…but never, EVER, let them talk you out of filing official reports or grievances.   Often a school will just expell a student for a short time as a discipline…never following up with corrective action such as counseling or conflict resolution.   Leadership must establish methods of dealing with this type of behavior in a constructive way. 

For the victims of bullying or school violence… it may be helpful to have some self-defense training, some skilled training about paying attention to their surroundings and who is in their direct physical environment; making judgement calls about making decisions about where to go and with whom.   Get restraining orders or personal orders of protection if you feel it is something necessary to the physical and emotional well-being of the victim.     In some cases, change schools or even in extreme cases…it is best to even move or send them to live with a relative temporarily-especially if there is gang involvement.   This is no small thing to overcome and you do not want a victim of bullying/violence to become a prisoner to fear in their everyday life.

Does that sound like an over-reaction?  I can assure you that it is not; don’t believe me?  Watch the news, listen to a mother or a father that has lost a child to school violence or bullying; they would do anything if they could go back and do something different.   Or maybe listen to the child who in reaction to the bullying, who took matters into his/her own hands and tried to retaliate only to end up in prison for years or for life.  That ought to convince you that taking drastic measures to protect your child or your family is a good thing.  You see, persistent bullying often spreads and becomes a contagious thing…affecting other family members or sometimes even others in the neighborhood.   It is serious, but things can be done to improve the situation; get good advice from law enforcement or safety experts on the matter.

Ok, remember that I mentioned that some of you wouldn’t make it this far because you think it doesn’t affect you.  These young people who are traumatized, or trained to protect themselves emotionally by closing off normal pathways of emotion, are going to grow up.  They are going to become doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers and nursing home supervisors, counselors and so on.

If their standards of what is acceptable, in relation to inappropriate levels of behavior have been damaged, are you going to want them caring for your grandchildren in day care, or taking care of one of your loved ones in a hospital or nursing home setting?  If they have learned to accept that kind of treatment in their own life, they surely won’t recognize it as inappropriate behavior in relation to others like yourself.  

Please, love on the youth today build them up and help them to be strong individuals in a healthy way; care for them, listen to them, protect them through legal channels and through school policies.  You won’t regret being proactive in the name of what is right!

           We usually do something different with our kids and have a fall harvest celebration.  If the weather is decent we will have a campfire and maybe we do something like put up a pinata with a minimum of candy to tickle their fancy; but, not enough to be obscene about how much candy they end up consuming.   It is a good idea to have some games planned and invite their friends.  Be prepared for loud and boisterous fun…but that is ok…they are supposed to be having a good time.

          My  main concern about this time of year  is safety and spiritual well-being.  Some Halloween revelers take things to a level glorifying evil and gore.    I don’t like all of the gore, the frightening costumes, the evil that seems to be celebrated by some.  Most of all, i don’t like how vulnerable the kids are to violence, to kidnapping, or to many of the other dangers that go along with the so called “holiday”.   I think it is a good time to remind parents to keep your kids close…minimize the danger that they are exposed to. 

       When it comes to costumes…make sure that they have some kind of reflective quality so that they can be seen in the low lighting conditions.  Have them carry a lighting device or a glow stick.  Go over reminders of safe street crossings and appropriate approaches to people’s homes and property.  There are some people who do not watch out for little ones crossing streets and sidewalks.  Then there are those who don’t appreciate kids and teens prancing across their lawns “begging for candy”. 

        Every year we hear of parties that have gone wrong and someone is killed or injured in a fight or in a case of over-reaction to a misunderstanding.  We hear about kids who go about doing destructive pranks and then their are the occasional people with emotional/anger/substance abuse issues who react violently.  We hear about teens horsing around and accidents happening where another in the crowd is injured or killed because things get out of control.  There are incidents of bullying or gang activity.  There are rapes…and kidnappings; children become lost or missing in communities; they are at risk for predators at this time of year especially when it is acceptable to be walking the streets with masks on and in disquise.  Large cities often have issues with “devil’s night” fires and looting. These things can be minimized if parents take steps to insure that they know where their kids are and what they are doing…as well as who they are with.

         It is wise to go out with your children if you are going to allow them to go trick or treating.   Don’t let them out of your site.  You really don’t know who to trust and who your child/teen will be meeting up with.  It seems weekly that there are reports of missing and or exploited children…noone wants their child to be one of them.  We have heard too any news stories recently about children who have been violated or murdered to just let them go off and wish them a good time.  Parenting responsibilities don’t end just because your kids may be able to go off with a crowd.  

        Even teens…God bless them can get caught up in situations that either are not in their best interest or that can endanger them.   Your teens probably won’t verbalize their appreciation if you take a protective stance about their activities…however, no one ever promised that parenting would win you any popularity contest, now did they?   Create an alternative environment for them to get together with their friends; but, still be supervised and protected.   Law enforcement officers will appreciate the help because they can’t be everywhere at once. 

         The voter’s in Michigan can make a big difference in this Presidential campaign; every vote counts!  Remember the fierce contest between Bush and Gore?  Please respect the voters who haven’t made up their minds by understanding that many of them are on the fence; give them a reason to support your team.  For those who choose to support Obama-Biden…it gives them an unfair advantage to influence the voters; who may feel abandoned by half of the Presidential nominees.

         We are a unique state, in a lot of ways.  We are also mavericks.  We have overcome alot.  Many of us, those who have continued to stay in Michigan despite the economic difficulties, are strong willed.  We have been overlooked in the primaries…our votes were cut in half.  Do you think that is ok with us?  No!  Now we are being told that you aren’t thinking that we are worth your time to campaign here; because, some stupid polls are saying that Obama is ahead in numbers?  Come on…give us some credit for making our own decisions politically.  Polls don’t always transition to winning votes when push comes to shove.  Your decision to exclude Michigan from further campaigning is going to carry some serious impact on the outcome of the election.  Every votes counts…are you willing to gamble with the votes that you have already gained by ignorning those who haven’t made up their minds?

         With your history of heroic action in the military…i didn’t figure you for a quitter.  What if your country had given up on you?   Your running mate doesn’t appear to give up easily!  If you trust her decision making ability, you will reconsider the decision to stop campaigning in Michigan.  I say to you…when things look the bleakest…that is when the most amazing things happen; things miraculous! 

         Take a stand, send Sarah; matter of a fact… come back yourself.  Even the runt of a litter that gets picked rewards it’s caretaker with loyalty.  This state has a history of turning things around…we’ve done it before…and, we are going to do it again.  We have gone through difficulties with businesses closing up and moving out of state or, out of country; we have had the automobile industry take some hard hits…we have struggled to survive.  We are going to be on the forefront of the alternative energy field…we are going to turn the economic predictions for Michigan on it’s head.

         We don’t forget those that stick by us.   Maybe it is time to remind you that Detroit, one of the biggest cities in Michigan, has been RECENTLY scandalized by Detroit’s former mayor, DEMOCRAT Kwame Kilpatrick and his behavior.   We want a candidate for President who respects the citizens of this nation and has their best interest at heart.  Is that candidate you?

         Michigan remembers the bullying tactics that Kilpatrick’s team allegedly used to try to stay in power…Republicans could use that behavior in their favor; as they try to win this state in the Presidential election.  Come on, refocus on the voters in Michigan that have been feeling neglected, abused and in-validated over the last year, in the tug of war for votes.  It is time to remind the world that Republicans understand that, every vote counts!

        There is a grass roots effort to get 100,000 signatures on a petition to bring the McCain-Palin campaign back to michigan here: www.fightformichigan.com  Make your voice heard!  If you only hear once side of an argument (or campaign) how do you think that will influence the outcome?  There is another organization that is going to try to express the opposition to the Obama-Biden campaign message www.ourcountrydeservesbetter.com,  by spending up to $500,000 on advertising a Stop Obama campaign.  People can’t make informed choices if they are only given one choice…all we ask is give us options in our choosing!

       Lori Drew, and a 19 year old employee named Ashley Grills, were allegedly involved in creating a MySpace profile of a young man named “Josh Evans” who contacted Megan and initiated a online relationship.  MySpace is a social networking site.  As time went on, “Josh” became abusive online and even went so far as to say that the world would be a better place without her in it …and, that he no longer wanted to be friends with her.  Within an hour of that online conversation…Megan was dead. 

        Not long ago Ashley Grills, the 19 year old employee, did a television interview alledging that Lori Drew was involved in some of the postings.  Ms. Drew denies this…but, she has now been indicted by a federal grand jury on charges of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without authorization.   This whole case is tragic.

          Supposedly, according to Ms. Grills, the whole hoax was set up to find out if Megan was saying anything about Ms. Drew’s daughter.  This hoax has had horrible consequences.  Young Megan is dead, Ms. Grills is probably next in line for some kind of legal consequences unless she has procured immunity for her testimoney; Megan’s family is mourning the death of their child, Ms. Drew could end up in federal prison, and a neighborhood is torn apart as the Drew and the Meier families lived in the same neighborhood at the time of the tragedy. 

        The outcome of this case could have long lasting impact on how people conduct themselves online, in chat lines or in social networking sites.  It is imperative that people monitor their children when they are online for safety reasons.  Words have power to put down or lift up and people are going to be held accountable legally. 

       It might be a good time to remind people that we have impact on those around us…why not make it a positive IMPACT!  Check this out…  http://theimpactfactor.net?id=35.

           In today’s society, in America, it seems successful parenting is almost a rarity.  If you can get a child through elementary school without being expelled for violence, sexual harrassment, bullying, profanity, drug/alcohol use; well then, you are considered a paragon of virtue.

         You see we allow our kids to be exposed to violence on television 4 or 5 hours a day, we dont filter what they see in between shows regarding commercials with more skin than a newborn baby exposes, sexual innuendo’s on “family entertainment shows”, magazines with suggestive pictures and titles, we have lowered the bar on the level of respect that is reflected in their conversations, and their behaviors are over the top because consequences are not consistent. 

           Let me tell you, stepping into the schools today is a bit like stepping into another world…even children as young as elementary school aged children are not immune from these types of issues.  The lack of discipline, manners, respect and appropriate behaviors is staggering. Teachers have a thankless job.  Chaos reins in the classroom because the teachers have to spend so much time dealing with behaviors that educating the children often comes in second place to discipline. 

           Moving on to middle school is no less disallusioning.  The negative attitudes and behaviors have only amplified into open contempt.  By this age, many students have been led to believe that they are their own person and as such really do not have to listen to their parents.  Rebellion has taken on a life of it’s own.  Even students who wish to learn in school have trouble doing so because of the chaos going on around them in school. 

           Schools officials try to have more influence on the kids as many households have no control over their children whatsoever.   When they can’t control the kids…they call in law enforcement.   Some schools even  hand out condoms and medical advice, refusing to inform the parents because of privacy issues!!!  Say what?  Who’s child is this?  Who is legally responsible for providing for that child…not the school, surely.

           When the troubles come…and they do…then the system pulls in the parents and expects them to correct the situation or control the child.  The parental authority has been diminished by each and every person who trys to chip away at that God given authority….whether it be a school counselor, sports coach, the students very own peers, organizational leaders or whomever it may be.  It can’t be both ways…others can’t be in control of the students and still expect the parents to have the same influential authority that they should have had from the beginning.

         High School…now here is the real breakdown.  Parents are a killjoy.  They are always telling their children no.  They are trying to control their teens.  Rules are meant to be broken; right?  Yet when it comes right down to it…who is left with the responsibility when the teens have crossed the line…and entered into something illegal, immoral, or something self-destructive?  It is the parents.    Is it any wonder that many families are broken beyond repair?  We need to get back to having appropriate boundaries and expectations; so that our children know that they are loved and that they have someone close to them who cares what happens to them.

              It should be the most natural thing in the world, to turn to your parents when a kid finds themselves in trouble.  Often they are not the first person that a kid turns to.   Many times, it is a misquided, ill-informed, or rebellious peer; or, another enabling adult who wants to befriend the teen in some ignorant attempt to feel better about themselves.  This is the environment we are raising our children in today. 

         So, when a teen or preteen comes into your presence and complains about the evil parent they have at home…listen to the complaints carefully before you are pulled in.  It could just be a venting session like every other teen in the history of time.  If it is a genuine situation that needs intervention, such as real abuse or neglect, then by all means…recommend they talk to a professional. 

          Parenting isn’t easy; parenting when you are a teen is even more difficult.  When people decide to have children…they don’t think of all of the problems to come their way in the future.  When starting a family…you dream of the good things to come your way; and that is how it should be.  Parenting shouldn’t be mainly about disappointments…it should be about successes.