That being said…even those mother’s have done something to be remembered for, and that is for bringing their children into the world.  At the most basic level…giving life is something to honor; since not every woman who discovers she is pregnant makes the choice to give birth to her child.  If you had a mother who only functioned at a bare minimum, then I hope you had another woman who filled a mother- like role in your life, encouraging, teaching, praising and loving you; someone to step in and protect you.  Acknowledge that person on mother’s day and don’t let the negative emotions in regards to whether a birth mother was mother of the year or not; choose to celebrate love.

I’ve been blessed and I want to take a moment to celebrate love.  A few years ago, we were told that my mother had an enlarged heart.  This was traumatic as my mother was/is one of those women who loved and encouraged her children as we grew up.  She continues to do this.  Now her medical condition has been treated with medication and close monitoring; we are grateful for that.  However, it got me to thinking about mothers who love deeply.

I thought about the changes that happen when a woman is pregnant.  Her emotions change, her mind changes as she makes decisions that she feels are the best for her and her child.  Hopefully, she has a loving and supportive mate to help her as she parents her child…not everyone does.  A pregnant woman’s spirit changes too…she has to think beyond herself and how the life of the child she carries will be influenced by the choices she makes in life.  Finally, her body changes…oh you know the usual: weight gain, swollen ankles, varicose veins…hemorrhoids…headaches and cravings.  The important change I think for a woman who really wants to be a mother, is that her heart enlarges…it makes room for more love than you can imagine a heart to contain.

That love is what builds a life that can withstand problems, challenges, and negativity that is sure to come their way as they live their lives.  That love is what opens the door to the good things in life that are meant to be enjoyed and nurtured.  That love is what keeps the human race continuing.

I think mothers who chose to love and are loved in return should be celebrated.  If you didn’t get that, from the luck of the draw, at the moment of your conception & birth…you can still find it. Everyone wants and needs that kind of love in their life.  Be sensitive towards those who you know have a hard time at this time of year due to abandonment issues, abuse, neglect or due to the death of their mother figure.  Be a role model and encourage those who are sad or lonely or feeling cheated in the mother department.

This world is full of women who have enlarged hearts and are willing to share them.  Find someone to celebrate the good things in your life with.  Whether it be as a sister, a friend, an auntie, a grandma, a daughter…a teacher, a neighbor or a pen pal; a mother’s heart can be found in a multitude of relationships.  Let yourself love and be loved.  Don’t let a broken biological accident of birth scar you into a negative mother’s day.  Find someone who can share an enlarged heart with you…and give & receive the best that life has to offer…a truly wonderful Mother’s Day!

Bullying is more complicated these days because of the way in which it is done; it is psychological, it is persistent, and it can include threats, violence, or even sexual threats.  Most people over the age of 40 remember the school bully…you know the one.  He/She was the person who everyone feared and gave a wide berth to just because he sought out and picked on those he/she knew for a fact that they could take on and win.  We all have had some relationship to that kind of person.   However, now it seems that there is a group mentality when bullying or persistent harassment starts up.

  Back when i was growing up you had one of two options…ignore that person and stay far away from them or “stand up to them” and work up your courage to go toe to toe.  Remember the childhood phrase that we were all taught…sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you?  That couldn’t be farther from the truth; we all know that words have the power to destroy a person’s self-worth and the value of that person in the eyes of others.

Everyday it seems that we hear about another child/teen/college student that has been bullied or cyber stalked and trash talked about.  Many of those cases either end in a suicide or a violent attack or even in some cases of extreme bullying…a retribution plan of attack on a school with a violent outburst.  Lives are ruined, hearts and minds are damaged; many individuals end up in prison because of bullying.

 A real danger is people who think that bullying is a normal part of growing up…it isn’t and it should not ever be allowed.  Making excuses and telling a victim of such behavior to just ignore it is equal to nullifying their experience with bullying…which in effect tells them that they are powerless to change their circumstance in a positive way.

There is a hopelessness about our young people.   Many of them, in a desperate need to feel something, are self mutilating, becoming promiscuous,  developing eating disorders, or diving into the world of drug/alcohol addictions in reaction to their feelings about themselves and their lack of proper treatment by others.   They have been conditioned to think that nothing is going to change for the better; so they feel angry, bitter, broken and depressed.

 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it doesn’t affect you, your children, your grandchildren, or the children in your church or neighborhood.  It does; and things are getting desperate.  Kids feel threatened, they feel demeaned and they feel powerless…so, many of them will arm themselves and things escalate quickly.   This is good for no one.

Respect for themselves as well as others is important to fight bullying.  Finding mentors for our young people is helpful…getting involved in sports or extra curricular activities that give them an appropriate sense of pride in themselves and their involvement.  Community service that gives them a sense of personal value and connects them to others who recognize their strengths and talents.  Inspiring hope and promise for a future is what kids need.  Instead, we often find that our young people aren’t getting those important messages about themselves.

With all of the new technology, kids are able to be “connected” 24 hours a day to not only their friends; but also, to people who wish them harm.  This connection includes cell phones, cell phone pictures, texts, email, chat lines, websites and forums.   Kids live in the midst of a multi-media blitz in their lives in school and at home.  Pay attention to them closely; watch for any changes in behavior, attitude, relationships and moods.  It could be life and death-for them and anyone who is in their lives, personally and socially.

Don’t think, not my child, not my child’s friend or the kids in my youth group.  I’ve worked with kids most of my adult life; for well over 30 years and things have broken down.  Kids, even good ones have low self esteem, they are depressed, frightened and angry.   Many of them don’t feel loved (even when they are), they don’t feel valued, appreciated or listened to.  They feel trapped and alone or isolated…even when they are surrounded by friends and activities.  It is a recipe for disaster not to recognize the patterns or seeds of destruction.

In truth, it makes you want to build a fortress around them to protect them against those who seek them out to do them harm.  So what can a parent, an educator, a spiritual leader, a friend, or a sibling do to help those caught in the web of persistent bullying/stalking?

First of all, pay attention.  Listen closely, monitor things…set limits of exposure online.  Talk to them and their friends about situations of bullying in their school or social networks.  Document any kind of negative interaction…write it down, talk to the school administration, file a report, alert teachers, bus drivers, neighborhood watches to any kind of bullying or violent situations that may come up.  Create a network of awareness and prevention where you can.  Ask your school to bring in safety experts and relationship experts who are trained in these areas of concern. 

Expect there to be resistence from the powers that be.  Many of them will give lip service to the no tolerance rule of bullying…but never, EVER, let them talk you out of filing official reports or grievances.   Often a school will just expell a student for a short time as a discipline…never following up with corrective action such as counseling or conflict resolution.   Leadership must establish methods of dealing with this type of behavior in a constructive way. 

For the victims of bullying or school violence… it may be helpful to have some self-defense training, some skilled training about paying attention to their surroundings and who is in their direct physical environment; making judgement calls about making decisions about where to go and with whom.   Get restraining orders or personal orders of protection if you feel it is something necessary to the physical and emotional well-being of the victim.     In some cases, change schools or even in extreme cases…it is best to even move or send them to live with a relative temporarily-especially if there is gang involvement.   This is no small thing to overcome and you do not want a victim of bullying/violence to become a prisoner to fear in their everyday life.

Does that sound like an over-reaction?  I can assure you that it is not; don’t believe me?  Watch the news, listen to a mother or a father that has lost a child to school violence or bullying; they would do anything if they could go back and do something different.   Or maybe listen to the child who in reaction to the bullying, who took matters into his/her own hands and tried to retaliate only to end up in prison for years or for life.  That ought to convince you that taking drastic measures to protect your child or your family is a good thing.  You see, persistent bullying often spreads and becomes a contagious thing…affecting other family members or sometimes even others in the neighborhood.   It is serious, but things can be done to improve the situation; get good advice from law enforcement or safety experts on the matter.

Ok, remember that I mentioned that some of you wouldn’t make it this far because you think it doesn’t affect you.  These young people who are traumatized, or trained to protect themselves emotionally by closing off normal pathways of emotion, are going to grow up.  They are going to become doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers and nursing home supervisors, counselors and so on.

If their standards of what is acceptable, in relation to inappropriate levels of behavior have been damaged, are you going to want them caring for your grandchildren in day care, or taking care of one of your loved ones in a hospital or nursing home setting?  If they have learned to accept that kind of treatment in their own life, they surely won’t recognize it as inappropriate behavior in relation to others like yourself.  

Please, love on the youth today build them up and help them to be strong individuals in a healthy way; care for them, listen to them, protect them through legal channels and through school policies.  You won’t regret being proactive in the name of what is right!

           There were no promises with this treatment…in fact, the doctors didn’t know if it would help her or not.  Every few days the medication had to be increased.  There were side effects, there was apprehension because of the responsibility burden.  You see, this pump- like device has complicated programming.   It has to be inserted through the stomach wall and be moved around every few days.  Very few doctors or hospitals in the country are trained to have knowledge on treating patients with this device.    My parents live in an extremely rural environment…the concern was valid; what if there was a medical emergency?

        The miracle you say, what is the miracle?  With a medical review this week after some testing last week has reveal the pulmonary blood pressure that was abornomally high, (115) when the normal, average person has a level of (20), has been miraculously reduced.  People had been praying for my mother all around the country.  She had gone from being a basically healthy person, to having to have oxygen 24 hours a day.  She was told that this rare pulmonary hypertension disease was progressive and that she would never get any better; in fact, she would only get worse and it would kill her. 

        Here’s the thing, the doctors were positively amazed.  In fact, the one doctor had to go back and verify her identity because as he said; if he were going strictly by the testing…he could not even comprehend how this was the same patient.  He made her verify her identity because the testing revealed an almost impossible improvement.  My mother went from a previous lung pressure of 115 down to an eye popping 18.   That is back in the realm of what a healthy person without the disease of pulmonary hypertension has for pressure in their lungs.   

          We got this news yesterday….just in time for Christmas.  God gave hope to a family who previously  had hoped to only improve her situation because that was the best that we were allowed to hope for from the doctor’s prognosis. 

           What does that mean for her prognosis NOW?  No one seems to know; as the doctors said, they have never had any patient respond to this medication in this way.  They don’t know what will happen.  She could get off of the oxygen completely, in the future, or at least, she may be reduced in her need for it.  The doctors kept calling in other medical professionals yesterday to show them the results; and, to introduce them to a real live miracle…even the doctors called her that.  That is powerful!

       Switching gears,  it’s not on the same level to some people…however, about a week ago one of our black labs became seriously ill.  No one knew why.  He was dehydrated, he was listless, he would not eat, nor play with his black lab brother…he was dying.  We were devatated at the idea of loosing him; he is precious to us.   We had people praying for him.  He got to come inside and live in the basement while we fed him Gatorade with an eye dropper, while we were trying to rehydrate him and give him some nutrients.  After a week, and many prayers by many people (including friends on the internet around the country); our dog is once again well enough to eat, to drink, to wrestle with his brother and to move back into his pen in the barn with his fluffy bed of straw and his pet CAT.

     LOL, yes , I said his pet cat.  A few weeks ago, my two dogs adopted a stray cat.  The cat comes to the barn and their pen when there are no people around.  The cat does not like people.  This cat will lay down in the straw with the two dogs and they do not hurt each other.  In fact, they are great companions.   If we humans go out to play with the dogs, or to feed the animals…the cat scrambles to run away and hide.  It only comes back when we are gone.  The cat was homeless until my dogs adopted it.  These animals are a community to one another; if animals can do this, take care of one another…why can’t human beings be more loving and giving?  God commands us to care for those who are poor or in need…I am amazed that my animals have more compassion towards others than many people do for one another!

        While my dog Chance was sick…this cat would go to their pen and look for my dogs.  It appeared to be upset that they were not there.  Now they are reunited.  A homeless cat, a formerly ill dog, his brother and they are a healthy happy family once again…just in time for Christmas.

         You know, for each person who is filled with joy, laughter and hope…there are hurting people who are struggling with sadness, pain, depression or loss.  I am asking you to be a light…in whatever capacity you can be this season and every day of your life.  Don’t just think on these things at the holiday season…make it a year round way of living.

           This may require some sacrifice on your part.  Share some of what you have, whether it  be joy, a listening ear, time or money.  Give a little of what you have been blessed with…even if it hurts a little or costs you something; you will be blessed for it.  Live in gratitude that you have things to give and share with others, many others do not.

             I read a story on the internet today that both saddened me and filled me with many uplifting emotions as well.  A church in Vermont has been struggling with their finances so much that they can’t keep up the repairs on their church.  While some may see that as a lack of ability to be good stewards of their finances…others with more wisdom, know that there is more to the story.  You see this church also runs a homeless shelter.  They feed and house many people who are without the basic things that many of us take for granted.  Their finances are running low and they had to find a way to add to their finances or close down their homeless shelter.

          That would be a horrible thing…so they decided to do something that will sacrifice a material, Earthly thing that they cherish…a Tiffany, stained- glass window that is 100 years old.  This window has added much to this church and they value it.  Here is the important lesson, they value those people in the homeless shelter even more than they do the Tiffany window!  They have an offer right now, to sell this window for $75,000 dollars. 

           Do they want to sell it?  No!  Will they sell it if they have to?   Yes!  So, if you know someone who has money to spare…and they want to buy it…send them this link.  Maybe the church can get more for the window; or, maybe they will get a Christmas miracle and someone will take mercy on them and just donate enough money to keep the shelter open, allowing them to fix up their church building, and keep the 100 year old Tiffany window that tells a biblical story.  Here is the link to the story on ABC news…feel free to share it!  http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=9404724  Spread the word of the situation; and, spread the hope and joy of the season…maybe they too will have a story to share of faith and another Christmas miracle!   Be a light people.

          If you are a person who is self-disciplined, careful, wise and tends to lean towards making good decisions with relatively positive outcomes…Congratulations!  However, if you know yourself to, more often than not,  err on the side of poor choices and impulsive decision making, which results in a negative outcome; then beware…it will destroy you.   It will destroy you;  if, you do not heed the advice, guidance, discipline and boundaries set up for you by people  who  know what they are talking about; and, who love  you & genuinely care about what happens to you!

        I know we all want to be independent.  We all want to be free to choose the path that we find ourselves on, in life; that is just a given.  However, have you ever known someone who was their own worst enemy when it came to decision making?  They may have said all of the right things about their goals, their dreams and their intentions…but, when it came right down to it…their actions did not match up to their talk. 

          Oh I know…someone reading this is thinking that it is all about maturity levels…and yes, that may be true for some.  On the other hand, I know that all too often; people destroy themselves and their goals by their thought patterns or mindset.  Some just can’t seem to help it.  Their past experiences or relationships have set them up to fail; some of them with mindblowing bells and whistles mingled with breathtaking fireworks.  When they fail, they fail big…almost in comparison to their large hopes and dreams.  It is frustrating.  Maybe their intentions were good…but when it came right down to it…they didn’t have the discipline to make it happen, or, they were trying to achieve something that was outside of their ability. 

          Perhaps, their judgement was influenced by an addiction to drugs or alcohol, by negativity, or by a fear of success/failure.  In those cases, it is important to have someone by their side who is invested in them as a person…someone who believes in them and what they are trying to accomplish.  They need to have someone on their side of the fence who is successful, skilled, goal minded…someone who they can trust.   They need an attitude of I am willing to listen and learn; and a desire to practice what I’ve been taught.

           Trust is a big issue.  If the person who is giving advice is someone who has a good track record with decision making, with success, and with their best interest at heart…they are worth listening to.  You can retrain yourself to make good decisions and to have confidence with your choices; with the end goal of achieving success.  You may need to give up a little control for a time…allow yourself to mentor or learn from someone that you admire and respect, in the areas of your life that you are trying to be successful in. 

         It is important to realize that you need to focus on overcoming the obstacles that are in your way.  Rebellion, resistence to proper guidance or instruction is often at the root of failure; people want to do things their own way.  Laziness and a poor work ethic combined with all of those negative qualities that we have already talked about will surely destroy you and your goals.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  You can do what you set out to do.  You can make great decision with wonderful results.  You can start setting new track records by allowing yourself the opportunity to learn and grow; no one is born knowing the right thing to do, all of the time.  It takes time and experience to recognize your strengths and weaknesses.  

           Part of personal development is learning what your strengths and weaknesses are.  Learning to find ways around your weaknesses by teaming up with others who have strengths in those areas where you are lacking…building up and growing your areas of strengths.  This most certainly can be done.  You can learn to trust your decisions once you examine your values, skills and talents and personality gifts and deficets.  This is a life long test of personal courage.  Those in authority above us have to be of the strongest morals and values; and trusted in the areas of leadership.   They must be able to communicate in an encouraging and educational way to inspire and make a positive impact on those around them.  Only put yourself in the hands of someone who you can look in the eye and respect.  Authority figures are not all bad;  be open to those around you who are willing to teach you and  have your best interest at heart!

Today, I let someone else down…not intentionally, but still…they felt let down regardless.  That person was (disappointed & angry) even though they tried to hide it.  I did feel badly about it; but in my defense, it was over an expectation that had not been communicated well.  It was a good reminder that if you want something from someone whether it is an action or a thing, then you really need to clearly define what action or item it is that you want that other person to take or give.  

Sometimes, i think that it is even more complicated than just communicating to another person our expectations though.  I also think that when we expect something from someone…we need to understand why we expect it; and, we also need to be sure that it is something that we HAVE a right to expect from that person.  In other words, we need to understand our own motivations behind our expectations and why that expectation is so important to us.

The reason that I say that is, because sometimes we expect things from another person that they can’t or won’t give; or possibly, the other person is not aware of  the expectation at all; nor, how important that expectation is to you.  Remember, other people can’t read your mind; and often, if they are aware of your expectation…and it is within their power to give it…they will fulfill that request.

If you have expected something and have been disappointed in the outcome from another…try not to take it personally…they may not have understood what was expected of them.  Communication is the key…open and honest talk that expresses what you want and why it is important to you will help the situation to be more clear.  That way…you are prepared ahead of time; whether you will be getting what you want or, at the very least, prepared for why you will not be getting the desired action that you wanted.   Has someone let you down in a big way?  How could you have prevented it from happening?

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        Communicating comfort, love and caring towards others is easy.  All you have to do is reach out to them, for them to feel that love and caring.  Will they talk about their pain; it depends on whether they are ready or not.  Some people internalize what they are going through…they can’t share it until they have processed what they are struggling with.  Others unload their challenges at the drop of a hat. 

       The key to staying connected and being helpful to another person; is knowing that person well enough to know how they handle painful situations.  If they need someone to talk to when dealing with difficulties, try to be there for them.  If they need time to process what they are going through…make sure they know they can call on you when they are ready to talk it out. 

       Lately, it seems like there are too many news reports of people who have broken under stress or pain and have become desperate…hurting themselves or someone else that they professed to love.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  If everyone tried to be more aware of those around them…this world would be a better place.  Do you know someone who is hurting; or, is it you who is going through a hard time?

      You see, guilt is simply a tool.  One that our subconscious mind uses to help us make good choices in our lives; it is like an early warning detection system.   Guilt tells us we are making a wrong choice.   But like anything, guilt can be misplaced.  Instead of building us up and helping us to build a strong positive character; sometimes guilt runs amok, and instead creates self-doubt, tearing down our self-esteem and helps to destroy the foundation , of who we are as a person. 

        This must be dealt with or a person who struggles with needless guilt, or a disporportionate amount of guilt to any given situation, begins to devalue their own opinions and strengths and begins to give more weight and credibility to those around them.

       I told her she needed to value herself as much as she valued the opinions of others.  It was a simple statement.  She simply needed to worry as much about what she thought of herself as she did about what others thought of her.  You see, when you look in the mirror (or examine your own heart and mind) you have to like who you see; you have to respect yourself.    Later, she said she was better.  I was glad…because she is a person who comes across as a very caring person…a person who does alot for others…and who reaches out.

      Why is it that we are so quick to judge ourselves harshly and so quick to give the benefit of doubt to others?  Each of us does this to some degree.  We have negative thought patterns that we fall victim to…that little negative voice inside our heads; our own personal form of self-doubt.    We must learn to appreciate ourselves in ways that matter.  After all, if we dont value ourselves enough…no one else will either!

      Seriously, I have a hard time understanding this phenomenon; barring mental illness; I can’t understand the murder-suicide situations between people who claim to love one another; unless it is put in the perspective of deperate people who feel like they have no other option.  How can someone take the life of the person/persons that they live with, take care of, provide for, protect,  and nurture?  Temporary suffering from financial difficulties, or family problems or divorce or any other reason is better than death.  Doing harm to another human being (especially a family member) is not  saving anyone from anything!  Harming yourself is not going to change anything for the better either.  Revenge is another reason why some people commit murder-suicide. 

        During the holidays, there was the Santa shooter who tried to wipe out his whole former in-laws and ex-wife.  He managed to murder quite a few of them and eventually took his own life; albeit, only because he was injured in the fire that he started and he evidently was in considerable pain.  In that particular case, he was going through a divorce and even though he was not living with those family members….at one time he was part of that family.  How do you take the lives of people that you have lived with, loved, dined with, made love to, taken care of when they were sick and so on?

       People who are mentally disturbed, seriously depressed or have a brain injury usually have caring people or a caseworker/guardian/family member around them who are aware of their issues, are tuned into their well-being or lack of; and they are in touch with their medical/psychological health providers, when they feel that things are not right with that person.    Getting appropriate medical/mental help for someone who is struggling is very important…sometimes it has to be sought against their will; but, still it needs to be done.   Typically, there are clues that all is not well with someone who is struggling with feelings of suicide or murder.

       What amazes me, are those situations when we hear that someone who seemingly appears healthy mentally, suddenly does something so out of the range of normal for their personality and commits  a crime  such as a murder-suicide with their loved ones as victims; whether it be a spouse or their children.  How can someone go from being a loving family member to someone who can do bodily harm to their family?  It escapes my logic. 

       I know in our country we are going through alot of stresses.  People are getting desperate financially, loosing their homes, their jobs, their investments,  retirement benefits, their medical coverage…these types of things can cause undue pressure to build up…causing people to do desperate things.  Help is available out there:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

        What i want to say is…please seek help.  Please find someone to confide in who can support you with ideas or solutions; let them be your sounding board.  Maybe finding help through an agency or foundation can help to lift some of those extra-ordinary pressures on people who are struggling under the weight of the world on their shoulders.   Don’t try to go it alone.  Don’t keep your feelings of frustration, anger, despair, depression or isolation to yourself.  Talk to a member of the clergy, talk to a counselor, seek financial advice from someone who may be able to direct you to a path of healing.

       I hate hearing of the lives that were destroyed.  The husband/father, wife/mother, sister/brother, child/grandchild or in-laws.  These murder-suicide choices cannot be reversed; it can not be undone.  It doesn’t solve anything.  If there are any survivors…they can have long term health issues, mental health issues, disability and much more financial bills due to the violence visited upon them…not to mention…if the person committing the violence lives….prison or a death sentence is in their future. 

       The person committing the violence will have a long lengthy trial to go through, psychological evaluations to endure….and maybe life in prison.    Guilt and depression can become a lifelong companion.  There are friends,family, children, neighbors, and acquaintances who will suffer from the tragedy as well.  Please, if you know someone who is struggling with these feelings…please encourage them to seek help.   Can you make a difference in someone’s life by encouraging them?  Give them a resource such as this National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 

       She was left on her couch allegedly for approximately three weeks without medical help.  She was so weak from lack of food and fluids that she could not even get up off of her couch.  Her home was so filthy with her own waste that the emergency workers and police who checked on her, became violently ill in the front yard of the home.  It sounds as if the woman’s social security checks were being cashed regularily though.  The news reports say that the woman allegedly did not have a shower/bath for up to one year! 

       The poor woman has had to have surgery…her home was in such disrepair that it was condemned by the authorities.  Where in the world has respect for life gone?  This is a failure of our culture to fail to make sure that all of our older friends and relatives are nurtured, cherished and protected.  Sometimes, the elderly deal with memory issues or mental illness; this is an especially important circumstance to get social workers and medical personel involved with, especially if they don’t have a close supportive family system in place.   It would be bad enough if this was an isolated case in our country; but, it is not. 

         Everyday the elderly are abused and neglected in their homes, in medical facilities, in nursing homes and on the streets.  It is an outrage.  Yes, the elderly require time and attention.  Yes, it can be difficult for the caregiver; as they are loosing their independence and ability to do many of life’s chores on their own and often they resent that fact; however, it is important to take loving care of our elders.  Time is short and spending time with your loved ones is special.   You can never get that time back with them once they are gone.  The difficult and challenging times will pass.   The elders in your community have many memories and experiences to share; take advantage of that time with them to store up knowledge and memories.

         Just showing some caring and concern for the elders can make a difference in the quality of life for them.  Offer to do a kindness for them such as pick up their mail for them; or walk their dog…take them to medical appointments, or grocery shopping.  Some tasks are too difficult for an elderly person who is unsteady or has medical issues; like, going up and down stairs to do laundry or shoveling their walkways or raking leaves.  

         We all will be elderly one day if we are blessed to live long enough.  Please, check up on your elderly neighbors, your parents, your friends; visit with them and help to relieve their loneliness.  If you see someone abusing or neglecting an older person (or any person for that matter) get involved…call the authorities!  You never know…you could be saving a life.   If you suspect elder abuse report it:  http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/ncearoot/Main_Site/index.aspx

        Most everyone has something that they have been blessed with that they no longer use.  Those things that you have been blessed with and no longer use just might be terribly useful to someone else.  Have extra blankets (or sleeping bags) in the closet or attic that you have no use for?  Someone else has need for them; donate it to a shelter, a church, or an agency that gives to those in need.  Don’t forget places like the Salvation Army or Goodwill.  Let’s challenge ourselves to find ways to have a positive impact on those around us.

         What about checking out deals, when you grocery shop, that make use of buy one get one free…then, donating that extra item to a food pantry?  In fact, things people often run out of and have a hard time replacing are necessities such as laundry soap, shampoos/conditioners, toothpaste, dish soap, toilette paper; when money is limited…having those things donated to a food pantry can really be a big help.  Maybe you have a baby or toddler that has outgrown their diapers or pullups…and you have a partial package left; donate it, don’t let it set on a shelf somewhere unused.  What good are those items doing sitting there collecting dust?

          Do you have warm clothes that either don’t fit, things that aren’t your style; or, perhaps you just have an extra set of clothes that you could pass along?  What about coats or boots, mittens or hats/scarves?  Items such as these are desperately needed in colder temperatures and climates.  The fall and winter weather is unforgiving if a person is not sheltered and dressed appropriately for cold temperatures.  Children and adults are both in need; so, please check your closets and storage areas for things that you are not using.

          Here is another idea; have you had a tree fall on your property that you would like removed?  Offer it to those who heat their homes with wood for free…just for the taking.  Wow…how wonderful to get it removed and bless someone else with the wood who could use it to heat their homes. 

          So you say…you don’t have anything physical to give.  How about donating your time or possibly a service like raking leaves/shoveling snow for an elderly person who you know isn’t able to do it for themselves?  Maybe you could offer to get their mail so they don’t slip on the snow and ice or offer to run some errands for them.  There really are so very many ways to help another person who is in need. 

          Think about the homeless who are living on the streets.  Do you perhaps have a shelter or tent that is not going to be used in the near future?  Can you live without it?  Find an agency or charity that will use it to house those folks who cannot or will not live in a shelter.  We have many veterans and run-aways who live under bridges and tunnels all around this nation.  Is a tent or a shelter from your basement or garage an ideal place to live?  No but, it may just keep someone safer from the extreme elements, temporarily, until they can get back on their feet.

           Are any of these suggestions going to cure the ills our nation is facing; probably not…but, it may just help communicate caring to someone who is feeling desperate and alone.  Think about what you can do to help someone who has it a bit worse than you and yours.  Your donations could mean the difference between life and death for someone; and it doesn’t have to cost you more than a bit of compassion for others!