Patricia has played the character of Carlotta Vega on that show for over a decade.  I remember early on her appearances on that show, that she played a housekeeper, of sorts, for one of the main characters, Dorian Lord.  She played a strong role in voicing what should have been Dorian’s conscious when that character got herself into questionable situations by manipulating others.  Eventually, Patricia’s character Carlotta bought a restaurant and continued the role of adviser to many of the shows characters as they experienced problems in their “lives”.  Always her religious wisdoms and values showed through.

        I have quit watching soap operas and many other shows because of my personal beliefs.  I get tired of being “forced”, simply because there doesn’t appear to be many other choices, to watch entertainment shows that continue to erode and chip away at traditional family values or Christian values.   Our family recently gave up television because of many of these issues when the digital conversion took place.

          The problem that Patricia is now voicing is that she was allegedly  given a script or a direction in which she, as her character, was expected to be supportive of a gay storyline  which Patricia says is not authentic to who Patricia is as a Christian; nor would the Christian character Carlotta  realistically support a situation like that.   Patricia has said it is not the gay storyline that she objects to; but rather, the way that her character’s storyline was written.   Christian’s, for the most part, do not condone same sex relationships, as it goes against scripture in the Bible.  The Bible calls homosexuality, or the physical expression of romantic love between two people of the same sex, an abomination. 

           Is it right, fair, or legal for an employer to demand an employee to go against their personal religious beliefs in a job environment?   And, if it IS legal, who should a person obey…their employer or God?

         After hearing that Patricia is alleging that she has been let go of her character and replaced with another actress I started wondering about making a stand in a person’s workplace, when expected in the workplace to violate one’s personal beliefs.  I don’t know about the legality of such issues…but, I do know that it would be especially difficult or impossible to make myself  do or perform any work related job when I felt that it went against my beliefs as a Christian.   In my heart, and here on the blog, I support Patricia and her efforts to put her convictions out there as a testimony to her faith. 

          I wonder, have any of my readers had an experience at work  where they felt conflicted about something the boss expected them to do in their work environment, based on their religious beliefs?  How did you handle that situation? 

       Frank McCourt was well loved by both his students and by those who were captivated by his works.   Frank McCourt started life in the most humble of circumstances and by most accounts his ordinary life was rooted in misery and poverty.  As a young child living in Ireland, that poverty was ordinary for many families.  Frank’s father was an alcoholic who drank all of the family money away, which normally would have gone to support and feed his wife and children.  Frank’s goal was to get to America and begin an ordinary life and help support his family.   He took on the responsibilities of a man in his teenaged years. 

           Often you see this kind of strength of character in a young man who has lost a father to death, to disability or some other difficult life circumstance.  They take on the role of the father as a supporter, often a disciplinarian for younger siblings and an encourager for the mother figure.   His “ordinary life” became extra-ordinary when he documented his struggles to survive in the book, Angela’s Ashes, which was published when Frank was in his 60′s.  His ability to communicate and use descriptive words in his creative writing helped him to achieve success.   That is along time to wait for financial and literary success.  However, he had success in other areas of his life.

        Frank did get to America where he taught creative writing in New York.  He enjoyed teaching his students and sharing his life’s stories with them.  He got an agent in 1996 which resulted in getting the book published.  It created quite the sensation; and eventually became a movie.   His skillful writing took his orndinary life and turned it into something extra-ordinary…it created a responsive reader…one who could empathasize with the child, the situation and the journey of overcoming!

           Mr. McCourt began to get alot of attention once his book was published.  He once expressed his dismay at all of the attention.  What both shocked and dismayed him was the reaction of people he had known for a long time; he said, they looked at him differently.  He pondered why they had never looked at him that same way when he was ONLY a teacher of students.   It is something that continues to amaze many people…books seem to afford their authors credibility that other life skills do not.  It elevates the author to the status of an expert in the eyes of many readers.

         The ability to experience some of the worst life has to offer a child & young adult; and, still write it in a way that not only moves the reader through a range of emotions powerful enough to make them feel as if they need to rescue the characters; but, also skillfully finds humor and explanations is a rare gift.  It is one that Frank McCourt had.   He wrote of a life of poverty (many have experienced it’s sense of despair) and made people react to it.   His writing skills will be missed…and for those who knew him, so will he.

        They are questioning  their own ability to know themselves better than their friends or relatives.   They are validating themselves through the eyes of others…and often will give more weight to the opinion of others…then to what they think of themselves.  So I wonder, who knows you better than you know yourself? 

          Sometimes self doubt has crept inside a person’s head from listening too often to the opinion of others.  If someone has been verbally abused or put down…they begin to believe it and don’t trust their own judgement.   Learning how to overcome that and begin to build up a level of self awareness takes time.   It is important to get to know yourself and like yourself, for who you are.   If you don’t put yourself  in situations where you test your knowledge of yourself, you will always allow others to have an emotional sway over how you think of yourself; and, the choices you make in your daily life.  You can repair your self esteem and your ability to make good decisions based on your own judgement; instead of depending on the opinions of other people.

           That is not to say that everyone else’s opinion should be disregarded; however, you should not allow the opinion of another person to “tell you” who you are or define you.  They may have an observation about certain aspects of your personality or behavior; but, they don’t know the person inside of your head and inside of your spirit.   Their observations may help you see how you are perceived by others…but, that is not the total package.

          So, go ahead, get information from others…but, take that information and put it together with what you know about yourself to be true.  Spend time trying to explore who you are, why you think the way you do, why you react the way you do in certain situations… and learn to trust your own instincts.  Being a confident person takes time and testing.  But by being willing to grow and learn…you can change or improve the parts of yourself that you are not happy with; you can build upon your character strengths and assets.   To do that you have to be honest with yourself and evaluate who you are accurately.   Everyone has strengths and weaknesses…character plusses and minuses. 

         So can it be true?  Is there no one who knows you better than yourself?  Not a doctor, a spiritual leader or pastor,  a parent,  not a counselor, a friend, lover, or any family member?  Well, the truth is ….they all see different parts of ourselves.  They see what we allow them to see.  If they have your best interest at heart…their opinions and observations can be extremely helpful and valuable to you as a person…but, never allow someone’s opinion to over-ride truths that you know about yourself. 

         There is only one who knows you better than you know yourself…that is the Creator, God, Lord God Almighty, Master Physician, Allah, The Great I Am, the Alpha and Omega; that is the only one who understands you from the inside out.  He knows your heart, your mind, your body and your intentions.   He knew you as you formed in your mother’s womb.  He is with you always and therefore knows about your successes and your failures.   The  opinion  of God is the only one that matters more than your own!  Be pleasing and acceptable to him, according to his guide book, the (Bible), and you will be a person of exceptional value to yourself and to others.  There is no better standard or measure of a person’s heart and mind.

        Jenny Sanford has said that she asked her husband to leave.  She wanted him to stop talking to her for a couple of weeks so that she could find a way to preserve her personal dignity.   This is something that she felt that she needed to happen to cope; who is anyone to tell her different.   I read somewhere that she said she wanted/needed to be able to look her sons in the eye.  She wanted to be able to hold on to her sense of right and wrong as well as, her own self-respect.   She appears to have achieved this by asking him to leave during that time; before he made his announcement.

         The media was all over the fact that the Govenor couldn’t be found last week.    His staff allegedly made statements that the Govenor was hiking…others, said they didn’t know where he was.  He was in fact, in Argentina, allegedly. 

           From the sounds of it, the Govenor and his wife have been dealing with the issue of his affair for months privately;  after his wife discovered personal correspondence between her husband and the other woman.  Jenny Sanford has said publicly, that she forbade his relationship with this woman.  Mrs. Sanford is a woman of faith and as such, she believes in marriage and family.  Some news articles say that the Sanfords have been going through what is being termed as a spiritual boot camp along with some other couples.  They have worked on the issue in their marriage with their spiritual advisor since January. 

         I think most women who have a knowledge of an alleged affair in their marriage and have worked with a spouse on repairing that marriage would feel her own self esteem damaged or destroyed.   As far as the Govenor’s trip to Argentina this time around, no one is saying whether he was there to continue his affair, or end it.   I would suspect it is the latter; as it sounds as if the family is still trying to find some way of going forward, as a unit.   Personally, I find it admirable that Jenny Sanford worked privately for these months on her marriage when surely, emotionally she felt betrayed.  Trying to heal the marriage after a physical, spiritual, and emotional betrayal was a testament to her faith and her commitment to her marriage vows.

       The Bible says, in Proverbs 31 verses 10-12      10) A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.  11) Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  12) She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

        For his part, the Govenor says that he wants to reconcile with his wife.  No one is super human…we all make mistakes.  If his wife somehow finds it humanly possible to forgive him then it is likely to take time.  There are always consequences when we sin and make mistakes.  Will this cost him his job?  Who knows.  For her part, Jenny says…that his career is not a concern of mine.  She is focussed on her family.   She said that by the statement that the Govenor made publically regarding the affair…that he has earned a chance at rebuilding their marriage.

          There is a cost for each person’s choices in life.  The other woman; what will happen with her?  Who knows what the future holds.  But, if the Sanfords can somehow find a way to rebuild their marriage…hopefully they can strengthen the area of weakness that allowed this situation to occur.  Healing can happen for all of the parties if they truly try to make things right with one another and are sincere in asking for forgiveness and in giving it. 

           Not to say that in this situation that all of the problems that occured were all one person’s fault and not the other’s…we all know that isn’t how life works.  However, I want to continue with part of the scripture passage.  These verses pick up in Proverbs 31 at verse 29) Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.  30) Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  31) Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

         It is hard to be in a position of power or leadership and not be corrupted by it or by those who are lurking in the background to corrupt them.  Sometimes to become victorious we must lose that which we think we have earned a right to have…whether it be a job, a reward, a position of power or adulation from others.   Let’s hope that this family only had to come close to losing that which is most precious to them…their relationship with one another and with God.

         Having grown up during those Brady Bunch years…i know that Maureen was a television icon during that time because of the character that she played.  She was a trend setter.   Many young girls wanted to be Marcia.  The Brady Bunch was a huge part of the culture in the 70′s…even though the show was only on for about five years; it influenced a whole generation of young people and their families.

        As we now know, many childhood actors have gone on to have troubled lives because of the unique set of circumstances growing up with such an unhealthy balance of power, between the lifestyle of a child actor and normal growing up circumstances.  When a child actor makes the kind of money they do, has all kinds of adults jumping to their whims, has masses of people hanging on their every word and action…the balance of power in raising a child from youth to adulthood can get warped a bit in the entertainment business.  Many of the actors/actresses don’t listen to positive advice or instruction…they surround themselves with yes people and hangers on.  Too often we hear of young people in the industry who get into legal trouble or trouble with drugs/alcohol addictions because they don’t have an authority figure to keep them from making such mistakes.  Their relationships enter into difficulties because they don’t know if they are being liked for who they are or for who they play on television.

           I am looking forward to reading Maureen’s memoir; as i have heard bits and pieces over the years about her struggles after the Brady Bunch years.  I can’t imagine that it was an ideal way to grow up.  However, Maureen McCormick is now 52 years old.  I hope that by reading the story…that it instills in others some kind of wisdom in helping others not to repeat the mistakes that so many have made in similar journeys.

           Often times in these types of memoirs…much of the time and attention is focussed on the misdeeds, as opposed to the lessons learned; i hope that is not the case in this book.  It would be nice to have some success stories in the media on overcoming the odds of loosing yourself to your television character’s image.   In any case, there is a whole generation of people who will be interested in finding out how things progressed for the actress who gave so much enjoyment through her nemesis. 

         In any case, when she first came on the show…she play a mischievous con woman with a twinkle in her eyes and a lilting smile on her lips.  She was involved with the “carney” as she called it…the close knit group of people who float from town- to- town when the carnivals come to make a living.  Over the years, the character Myrtle took on a different personna.  She became the favorite quirky aunt that the younger relatives loved and admired and went to for advice much to the consternation of the older generations.  The older relatives and friends just could not predict what would come out of her mouth…whether her advice to “Erica Kane”, played by the wonderful Susan Lucci, would be appropriate or encourage the young woman to greater misdeeds.

          In the last decade or so…Myrtle took the place of trusted advisor to Erica Kane.  Erica’s mother Mona had passed away…so Myrtle became the foil to the willful Erica; giving her advice that was spot on…but most of the time Erica knew this but did her own thing anyway.  She was loving and affectionate towards Myrtle which helped the viewer’s fall in love with the new role that Myrtle played with their favorite vixen, Erica.

         We will be missing the character Myrtle…but…because the woman behind her was such a wonderful actress…Eileen Herlie will be sadly missed as well.  That is a tribute that every actor/actress wants to hear…that they played the character so well…that in the eyes of the audience…they became that very same character.  So, we grieve the passing of  “auntie” Myrtle (Eileen); she was part of the family.  I know it was just a soap opera…but, it feels a little bit sad.   May you rest in the arms of God in peace!

          She stayed in the top 5 all throughout the competition nationally this past week.  Aleisia only competed in the last two weeks.   She is once again in the top five this evening the first day of voting, in the sixth week.  So, i say…stick in there kiddo…maybe this will be your week.  I am proud of who you are.  I think you are a winner and i know that if you are lucky enough to get picked this coming week…then they will know that too. 

          You are more than a pretty face…you have strength of character, you have a strong faith in God above, you have a wonderful husband and two precious children and God has given you many talents.  So, win or lose the contest…I know he has a plan for you and i know that you also know it. 

          Dreams are goals yet unachieved.  Time and persistance are the answer to achieving what you set out to do.  So, a new week begins!