The incident involved the forced, and coerced, tattooing of a 14 year old special needs student.  This student had been exposed to bullying at school; and, these so called adults (all over the age of 18) allegedly told him that the bullying would stop if he got a tattoo.  He said he didn’t want one; but still, he was allegedly threatened and forced to get a tattoo which had some kind of image along with obscene words on his buttocks. 

         Tattoos take time to apply to a person; even when a person wants to have one.  I can’t imagine what this young man endured during this “procedure”.  He’s been taunted at school by other students who are picking on him because of his special needs and then he is assaulted in this way.  Not only is he physically scared but he is also emotionally scared because these people chose to humiliate and abuse him. 

         This whole situation came to the attention of the authorities because pictures of this young 14 year old abuse victim were being circulated at school and a teacher reported it to the authorities when they became aware of the pictures.    Thank you to the unknown teacher who had the courage to do the right thing!  Teachers don’t often get enough credit these days for what they do at school for our kids.  Often, teachers are on the first line of defense when it comes to protecting special needs students from abuse or bullying.   Along the same lines, other students who are caring and filled with the strength of character to be an advocate for special needs students are becoming more rare these days.  To those of you who do the right thing in these types of situations…I thank you as well.

        I wonder, just how many people saw these photos and laughed?  Were they amused at the image, the words, or just the fact that someone that they considered to be of a lessor value than they themselves, or one of their friends, was put in this position of having their picture plastered all over the school for others to look at and make fun of him? 

         Were they not moved by compassion to report such a terrible crime?  How can a person take joy in the torture, humiliation, or abuse of another person; whether they know them or not?  Is not a special needs person worthy of protection, compassion, or caring? 

          I mean, even if someone does not know a special needs person; don’t they understand that they have feelings and emotions just like they themselves?  Everyone wants to feel safe, be loved, be accepted and have friends at school.  It is unacceptable that this situation was turned into a source of entertainment by some students. 

          The victim here was only 14 years old.  I think that those pictures should be considered sexual exploitation by anyone who had access to them or viewed them and did not report it.  Any person who was passing along the photos to others should suffer consequences as well as the people who were involved in the actual abuse of this young man.

       How can people who are supposedly blessed with average or above intellectual abilities treat another human being in this way?  What gives them the right to consider themselves better than another person; simply because of a perceived imperfection called special needs?   It is wrong, it is cruel, it is immoral, and it is…ILLEGAL. 

       Parents, teachers, neighbors, grandparents, church leaders we must all take our roles of leadership seriously and start instilling in our young people tolerance, compassion and empathy towards others; especially the most vulnerable individuals in our society such as young children, the elderly or those who are afflicted with disabilities.   It is important that we do this because as a nation, we are losing our moral compass because people who can do these kind of horrible things to their fellow human beings and not see something wrong with it are becoming more common everyday.

         Hello…no-one SHOULD have to tell another person that this kind of behavior is wrong.   However, New Hampsire’s court system should make it clear; because these four individuals in New Hampshire have been arrested and charged for their actions.   Let’s hope that the legal system really makes an impact on others who think they can be cruel, and treat other human beings any way they want to and get away with it; by making the legal punishment fit the crime.   The punishment should be large enough to send a message to anyone else who may consider bullying or abusing a special needs individual, that it is NOT the right thing to do!   What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for someone who abuses another person in this way?

        This was illustrated very clearly to many this past month when a young 13 old girl was given in marriage to a 23 year old Yemeni man.  He and his in-laws allegedly arranged a sort of deal for him to be given the 13 yr old bride and for his brother in law to be given HIS sister in marriage to avoid the high cost of a bride price.  According to the new pieces i have seen, it appears that the 13 year old bride was not only a reluctant bride when it came to sexual relations…the groom supposedly took her to a clinic to allegedly get medicated to render her helpless to resist his advances. 

        When the clinic denied him…he supposedly took her home and somehow was able to get himself a type of male enhancement drug to help him perform the sexual act because he was having trouble having intercourse.  The young girls mother says that her daughter told her in the hospital shortly before she died that her husband tied her up and raped and sodomized her.  This after he had already allegedly forced her to have sex and caused her internal injuries that required a trip back to that clinic.

       The news pieces said that they adviced the husband to avoid having relations with his wife for approximately 10 days.  He had carried her into the clinic because she could not walk.  The injuries evidently became more life threatening after he allegedly returned home and continued having sex.   The young girl was admitted to the hospital days after the wedding, where she died from ruptured reproductive organs.  Her mother says she appeared as if she had been butchered.  How do you look your child in the eye and know that what had been done to them will result in their death and you were powerless to change the outcome? 

         It is hard to think of a human being abusing someone so callously, as to think of their sexual needs exclusively to the well-being of the other person, outside of a predator or rapist who attacks another person purely for this purpose.    I am sure that the young brides family had no idea that her husband could be capable of such treatment of their daughter or they may not have agreed to the marriage arrangement…yet, this is what happened.  It is a tragedy.

        Not only was her body and spirit abused…but she was not protected in any way from a further sexual assault on her body once she was brought into the clinic the first time.   She was a 13 year old girl and she had to have been fearful.   She suffered greatly and lost her life simply because she was female and vulnerable to her situation because of where she was born and  into a culture which allows such things to happen to those unfortunate enough to be in her position. 

         Just today, there was another news piece about another girl; an 11 year old child.  She was also allegedly hospitalized with damage to her genitals.  She too was a child bride; this is unacceptable. 

          It is a human rights issue.  Poverty and ignorance are no excuse for these situations to continue.  Families have to protect their children from the potential of this kind of treatment by not giving children in marriage.  It is wrong to subject them to the sexual torture of their bodies and possible pregnancies… to protect them even from a potential death from young bodies that strain to give birth when they are yet barely matured to the point of conceiving a child in the first place; and truly, some of them are not even that physically mature.

         There are some people and cultures that believe marrying children off before they are considered adults will help to avoid premature sexual activity.  While it might prevent them from having sex before they are married…it in no way guarantees that they will not have sex until they are an adult; willingly or by force.   Because, there is no way to insure that once a child is legally, morally, or spiritually entered into a marriage that the adult partner won’t try to enforce a sexual relationship with that child. 

         Empoverished nations must be given alternatives to joining children in marriage to adults as a means of relieving financial burdens upon their families.  Educating people to the use of birth control to help reduce the number of children born to impoverished parents would be helpful.  Creating an awareness program about the dangers of forced sexual activity upon the bodies of children.  Holding offenders legally responsible for death or for damage caused to the children that this happens to; making it a crime to harm a child in this way.  

          Creating a means of earning a higher wage for families in those areas where these kind of arrangements take place;  so that they don’t see the need to marry off their children while they are still yet children.  How horrible to have such a situation within your own family or circle of acquaintance.   No caring parent would want to have to live with such an outcome on their conscience.  I hope that those who have a voice and have power will find the courage to change the way things are so that no family has to live with the knowledge that they have failed to protect their child from such a tragedy.  

            It makes me angry, and it makes me sad that people who are in the position of stopping this abuse of children do not; we must demand accountability and responsibility of our leaders, our religious counselors, law makers and our own family members!

      This is not ok.  The reason that it is not ok is because our country is increasingly finding out that our kids are in trouble.  They often have relationship issues, drug/alcohol abuse issues, eating disorders, trust issues and more.   Many of their role models have not been good ones; and finding good leadership for them to learn from is difficult.  Teen years are challenging at best when it is natural for them to try to discover who they are and what freedoms they can enjoy.

       They are in trouble in school, at home, out with their friends, in trouble with the law, they are isolated, angry, hurt, sad, frustrated, fearful and many are finding it hard to trust anyone or anything to be there for them.  Yet at the same time, there is resistence or open rebellion when it comes to accepting advice or rules meant to help them, keep them safe and meant to guide or direct them.  This not only creates difficulty in having a healthy, loving and respectful relationship between parent and child it also puts the child/teen at risk of being influenced by others who have no real vested interest in making sure that the child/teen is happy, healthy, productive and well-balanced in their life.

       One of the situations that came to my attention was a situation in which a school in the US runs a health clinic.  At the beginning of the year, a parent signed a consent form allowing the child/teen to go to the clinic if the need arose for treatment.  This would have allowed that student to receive care for a headache, a physical, birth control, and a multi-tude of other services.  One of those other services appears to be pregnancy counseling and get this…the facilatation of setting up and transporting the student off school grounds to receive an abortion-without informing or getting the consent of the legal parent of said student.   This did in fact happen, a student was put in a taxi from my understanding of the news report and sent off to receive an abortion.  Evidently by signing that generic consent form this “allowed” the high school student to receive such services.   This is outrageous; it is not like that student had a hangnail removed…this student made a life altering decision; one that will impact her physically, spiritually and emotionally…without parental involvement.

       That is or should be unacceptable to most families.  It is as if the school assumed a superior level of authority over the parents in an area of life that should have been left up to the student, her parents, the student’s boyfriend and his parents and if they could not handle the situation then, and only then, maybe the court system.  

        Parental rights and parental authority are under attack in this country.  We see it at every level of society from commercials on television and radio, to the internet, to entertainment such as music videos, movies, and television shows…the parents are made out to be interferring, control freaks, laughable buffoons to be made fun of, and if at all necessary someone to distance themselves from.   Yet when kids get out of control behaviorally, emotionally or physically…many other venues from the schools, to law enforcement to businesses want the parents to “handle or correct” the situation with their children/teens.   You can’t expect parents to be an authority figure to their kids if you are putting down, reducing the effects of parental authority/control, or are in some way ridiculing parental involvement in their kids lives.  

       It is hard when parents are often told how they can and cannot discipline or correct their children.  The respect for parental authority is challenged in court and in the classroom.  It doesn’t help when many families are broken or in fact have never formed legally in the first place.  Kids get conflicting sets of rules and expectations and often in those situations are told by whatever person in authority over them at the time tears down or directly tells the child/teen that they do not have to listen to or respect the other parent’s rules or expectations if they differ from their own.

       In the news also is the case of a father who took his child to church against the wishes of the mother.  When the mother and father were together they agreed to raise the child in the Jewish faith.  When the parents were no longer together…the father decided to go back to his Christian faith and take his child to court.  Now the court says he can not expose the child to his faith.  Who has more authority with the child; the mother, the father, or the court.  Evidently the court does.  

        This is why in previous generations there were warnings about “mixed marriages” when it came to beliefs or what the old timers called being unequally yolked or joined together.  It is hard to have a respectful blending of beliefs and raise children in those kind of relationships.  Can it be done?  It seems only if the couple agrees to expose them to differing viewpoints…because in this particular case, the court says no, the father may not take his child to his church to educate the child about his beliefs.   Is this right or wrong?

        I have a friend who has a special needs child who is in his 30′s who lives in an assisted living type of home.  That individual developed some complications with his health years ago and almost died.  The parent in that situation had to fight tooth and nail to keep authority over the medical treatment of her son.  Again this past week, her parental authority was challenged.  

        The doctor in charge wanted to medicate her child to battle some health issues that a lifestyle change would also help to fascilitate his return to health.  It looked as if the powers that be would escalate the struggle to the next level and would have even gone beyond harsh words and a pushy agenda in gaining the upper hand in who was in control over the medical decisions regarding the young man.   The parent had to push to “temporarily” removed him from the environment and stressed that the same goal of reducing the health risk to her son could be achieved by changes to his diet and exercise plan on a daily basis.   This is going to come down to what they can achieve and the documentation of her approach.  If it doesn’t work the way that the parent knows to be true; then the facility will try to enforce their plan of medication which in his case can have an extremely dire affect upon his health because of the side effects.

         All of these situations and more every day are jeparodizing the importance of the role that parents play in shaping the lives of their children.  We who have children have to step up to the plate and demand that we be given the opportunity to raise our children to the best of our ability with full legal, moral, physical and spiritual authority; unless we prove that we are not capable of handling that authority.  Parental authority/parental rights should only be challenged or threatened in cases of abuse/neglect/or endangerment.

        What are your thoughts on this subject?  Do you have an experience that you would like to share?

       It was said that Michael left a note saying that he planned to kill himself because of his depression.  He said it made him feel like he had no friends and didn’t fit in.   This is so tragic; he was only 18.  Michael is one of Marie and her ex-husband Brian Blonsil’s eight children.  He was adopted as well as several of the other children.  It has not been revealed to the public what sort of issues that Michael had been dealing with over the years…and maybe it should never be information for the public to know.  Those issues were private…and even though some of the Osmonds are very public people…they have a right to privacy as they grieve.

       I do know that when you are an adoptive family, you often live under a microscope.  People feel free to judge or to freely give advice on raising those children to the parents who have chosen to add them to their family.   It adds a level of interferrence in the raising of adopted children who are being grafted or blended into an existing family.  This is sometimes no easy feat; especially if the children happen to be a bit older when the adoption takes place.  I can only imagine how much more difficult the situation is when there is fame involved with the adoptive family.

        Depression is a big challenge and unless you have some personal relationship with the issue…it can be hard to understand.   However, Marie herself struggled with post partum depression after giving birth to one of her children.  It can severely affect not only the individual who struggles with it…but anyone who loves them.   It is important to get help if you are dealing with depression.  Many people don’t realize how serious it can be.  Sometimes depression is a chemical imbalance and medication can help; other times, other therapies can be helpful.  Talk to a health professional right away if you or someone you care about is struggling with depression.

        I can only hope that the media will respect this family as they try to deal with the loss of Michael.  Suicide leaves a lot of damage for the survivors left behind.   There will need to be some major healing time for this family.   May God help them all.

       Please, if you are someone who struggles with depression or suicidal thoughts; or, you know someone who is…please seek immediate help by checking out this site:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  or by contacting a health care professional.

       In any case, Jessica Angelique who is on Twitter as @DefinitveVoices and as @Jesicaangelique is a person who shines a light on organizations and non-profits that help people better the world through better living conditions, better self-esteem, and through building people up, one person at a time.  She is a strong voice for cancer-livestrong organization, for children, clean water, self-esteem & empowerment, and for foster care.  She is an author and a speaker; and, she is not afraid to connect to people who are in the position to effectively make changes that open the doorway to a better life for thousands of people everyday.   She puts her money where her mouth is and donates money to help children in foster care.

        She needs your help to win this grant.  Pepsi is running a voting contest and you can go here to register and vote to help her to implement her vision in a large way; should she win the vote.  http://www.refresheverything.com/definitivevoices  Once you arrive there, at the bottom of the screen there will be a sign in spot.  Sign in by entering an email and create a password.   She is entered to win the $250,000 category to educate.  Please help.  Lives will be changed and improved and children will especially be blessed. 

        Jessica has connections with people from all over the globe who are like minded; it will be a powerful television show.  Again I say, why can’t television be used to build people up instead of tearing them down?  Be a vessel of empowerment…please register and vote daily until the 28th of February, 2010.  It is very important to do this; you won’t be sorry that you took the time to do so!

Nations around the world are moved towards a sensitivity to the suffering of the Haitian people.  Money and donations of life saving supplies are poring in however, getting the supplies to the most devastated areas are difficult.  There is so much destruction and people are desparate.   Medical care is critical and people have been being treated in the street and in tents.  There is, and has been, a thin line between life and death.  

 Compassion is the fuel that moves people from merely hearing the news of the suffering and becoming involved and committed to doing what each person can to help.  Many people are giving money, some are donating their skills and talents or their time-volunteering to help the people of Haiti.  I read an article that made me question peoples awareness of their sensitivity towards others in need and their own need for a moment when life goes on in spite of what is happening around the world. 

So, it came as a bit of a surprise to read an article about a cruise ship line that stops at a port in Haiti that has made the decision to continue stopping at their destination in Haiti.  After reading about this, I couldn’t help reading the comments at the end of the article.  There were people who were for the cruise ship line continuing to stop in Haiti.  Those people were of the opinion that continuing to bring in tourists with their money would help to keep the Haitian people who were employed at the port working, providing them income during this time. 

The problem is, from what I understand of the situation is that this particular port is on the far end of the island; somewhat removed from the devastated area.  Still, those people who are employed do need jobs.  They do need income.  It was said that supplies were also carried in on the cruise ships.  I don’t know if that is true or not…but, if it is…God bless them for delivering supplies to the island.  The need is strong for medical supplies, food, water, blankets, shelter (many are homeless including the elderly and small children)…and there is a need for caregivers and adoptive families for those who are now orphans. 

Those who criticized the cruise line were of the opinion that tourists had no business partying, drinking, and living it up on the island paradise when they knew full well that human beings were starving and dying of thirst for lack of clean and healthy water just across the island in the area of Port au Prince.  The dead and the dying do not have instant access to the plenty that the cruise line passengers and those enjoying the comfort of the port.  There were comments in this section that wondered how someone could possibly eat, drink and take advantage of the activities knowing of the intense struggle for survivial just miles away.   Is it justification by saying that continuing to vacation there is bringing in money?  Or is it true and therefore ok in the opinion of the reader here?

It just got me wondering…how the human spirit who is sensitive towards those in need decides at what point, life goes on?  I mean, do you do all that you know to do to help, in your spirit and contribute what you can giving yourself permission to go about your business?  Do you just ignore the suffering?  Do you allow the situation to paralyze you and keep you from moving forward in your own life; attending to the daily issues at hand?  Is it possible to find a balance of helping through charity, volunteerism, and prayer; and, living in gratitude for the gifts or blessings in your life?   When is it ok for those who are sensitive to the needs of others in peril translate to a life goes on moment without guilt?  It is going to take a long time for recovery; hopefully, people do not forget too soon and stop acting on the behalf of those suffering who have been traumatized by this natural disaster.

 What are your thoughts as you read this blog post?

See possibly related post: http://www.writewhereyouareblog.com/heros-what-are-they-made-of/

         It got me to wondering what it is about heros that attracts us to them; what are they made of.   Why do heros do the things that they do?  Most of the time heros are fighting for justice, in other words fighting against the bad guys/gals, trying to protect other everyday non-heros from harm.  I think as we grow up, our understanding of what a hero is changes a bit.  I think we are attracted to the goodness in a hero or their ability to protect and to serve.  It is admirable and desirable to be capable of doing the right thing, for the right reason.

          In my mind, a hero is someone who does something unexpected in a challenging way that helps/protects/inspires/encourages another person who is not in a position to do it for themselves at the time.   A hero is someone who makes a split second decision to reach out and make a difference even if the cost is high-such as a stranger who rushes to protect another person from a crime, a threat, a bad decision, or a moment of danger.

           Sometimes a hero is a person who is “just doing their job” in their own words; but to another ordinary person their commitment to the deed is extra-ordinary because of the level of commitment to performing the deed comes with high risk or a high cost to the person choosing to take action.  A police officer, a fireman/woman, a postal worker, a teacher, a store clerk, military men and women…the list goes on and on; these people are heros in my book. 

           What about the volunteer or caregiver who takes extra measure to seek a solution to another person in need?  Are they a hero?   What about people who put themselves out on the front line to fight for what they believe in even when it is not popular; are they heros?  I believe that they are.

            I think about those people who fight for the poor, aged, disabled, ill, those who wage a war against cancer, domestic violence, drug & alcohol addictions, human trafficking, homelessness, abortion, abuse/neglect, children without families or without basic needs being met.  The people who champion for an awareness or for changes to existing circumstances just because it is the right thing to do…I believe these people are heros.  They are an inspiration!

           Miep Gies died yesterday at age 100.  She was a hero but she didn’t like to think of herself that way.  She was an office worker in the employ of Anne Frank’s father Otto Frank; she hid Anne Frank and her family and friends in a secret room in a warehouse during the years that Hitler was rounding up Jews to kill them, during the Holocaust.  She is the woman who bicycled around the city finding food to feed them, and who eventually found the pages of Anne Frank’s diary when they were arrested.  She risked her own life to do what was the right thing to do to protect other human beings in extra-ordinary difficult circumstances.

             There are so many different kinds of heros in our every day lives if only we stop to think about it.  I think the act of a hero is a call from God to step outside of ourselves to be the hands and feet of Jesus…to be the best person that we can be.

           Do you know someone like this?  Write me a comment and give them a little plug.  Most heros are unsung heros because they don’t believe that they deserve attention for doing what they consider the right thing to do.  And, maybe in one sense they don’t…because we should all be doing these things…but the truth of the matter is, that without examples how will others learn to be heros in their own right?  We must hold up examples of special people who do acts of heroism…because in doing that we are encouraging more of that kind of behavior. 

So is there a hero that you know of doing something wonderful?   What is your hero made of…tell us all about them.  Please comment here and let us know about this person and what they are doing to make the world a better place!  Thanks for being a light!

       For those who are in real need of a place to live (homelessness), food to eat (hungry), or basic necessities of life…help; real help is the difference between life and death.

        Feeding America is trying to make a difference.  The non-profit organization was created in the 1960′s by John van Hengel.  You see he was a retired businessman who volunteered his time at a food kitchen in Arizona.  He actively sought out donations from area businesses and got more food than that soup kitchen could use.  In talking with some of their clients he found that some of them were gathering food for their families from the garbage bins from local grocery stores.  This sowed the seeds for what is now known as Feeding America.

        Many of us hear the refrain from our children nightly; Mom, I’m Hungry, what’s for dinner?  For those of us who are blessed enough to have food to put on the table that is filling and nutritious it is a mere question that will be answered in time with a meal on the table.  For other families, that is not the case.  In 2008, there were 49.1 million Americans who live in homes with unstable food resources.  Seriously, that is ridiculous!  On the news today I heard that in America, people waste or throw away 40% of their food.  Why?

      No one wants to hear that question from their children, “What’s for dinner Mom, I’m hungry?”; and not have something healthy and nutritious to feed their families.  What can you do to help? 

      If you have money to give…please give it .  For every $1 that is given, seven meals are provided to men, women and children.  You can give directly to them here: http://bit.ly/7yfZQJ   If you don’t have money how about volunteering?  Or maybe become an advocate for them by blogging or writing articles telling of the good that they are doing?  Maybe start a food drive in your local area.  If you don’t wish to do any of those things…maybe you would be willing to click here and support some of Feeding America’s partners:  www.welchs.com/harvest  each time you click there you will be helping to donate 8 glasses of welch’s juice for free…just by clicking!  Amazing isn’t it?  If you go here   http://feedingamerica.org/ : you can see in the bottom right hand side some of their partners who help Feeding America/Second Harvest do what they do so well.  Please support them and let them know how much you appreciate their generosity!

       Another great interesting fact I found out is about an executive director of Feeding America right here in Michigan who was instrumental in helping to restructure over 100 food banks in the United States with just one idea…a mobile food truck.  You see, it used to be that some perishable food items would get donated that had to be used within a short period of time to avoid it becoming un-usuable.  John Arnold, of Feeding America of West Michigan, of  had a great idea to use refrigerated beverage trucks ( beer, soda, water) to take those perishable food items to the people in rural areas before those food items spoiled and became unusable.  What a blessing he has been to people in need!  Thank you John Arnold on behalf of families around the United States.

        For a man who until now has lead a pretty private life in the public eye…he has gained more attention in the last week, than he has ever wanted.  Yet, just days ago…he put out a muddled attempt to squash the rumors from the media microscope by admitting to transgressions and sins.  He claims to not being true to the values and behaviors that his family deserves.  That sounds like an admission of some of the rumors; however, it is not clear and it is damaging to be assuming anything.  However, it is not enough for some people to hear that vagueness.  They want intimate details in the tabloid society that we live in.  That is harmful to all involved.

        His wife’s actions regarding the accident were questioned.  More rumors swirl about renogotiating prenups and the like.  Women coming out of the woodwork alledging affairs with Tiger.  People in his sphere of a social life in Vegas claim that he lived his life there in ways that made people wonder if he was being more than friendly with pretty women; whether he was or not.

         At least one of the women that the tabloids accused of having an affair with Tiger has denied it and hired an attorney to represent her.  She was going to give a press conference and then it was suddenly cancelled.  One of the other somen supposedly has proof of the alledged affair. 

          One thing is for sure, this is a situation that has people by the throats.  Some are interested because Tiger is notoriously private…as well is his wife, about their life.  Others just like to have their nose in someone else’s business.  Still others, have suspected ulterior motives.  Then, there are those who make jokes at the expense of those involved.

            Really and truly, no one has a right to know these personal and private details except those who are directly involved.  If it is true, then there is a family that is damaged and will either survive with great effort or be destroyed by the fall out.  There are young children involved who will someday grow up and read what is written.   A wife who may or may not have known about these alledged rumored and or factual affairs.  For those who are innocent in this situation, I would hope that people would respect them. 

           It is a terrible thing to witness a family in crisis.  If he in fact had these affairs, Tiger and his wife Elin will have to work their way through it.  If there truly are women involved intimately…then, they will have to all be dealing with the after-effects.  There are physical things to consider such as diseases, stress, depression…feelings of self-esteem and self-worth.  Jobs could be at stake.  Reputations lost; and role models such as Tiger can do alot of harm to those younger people who look to sports figures and celebrities as someone to aspire to.

        A few years ago, Tiger lost his father…who was, in many ways, his mentor and his rock.  A man who has achieved as much in his area of  sports expertise, as Tiger has in the field of golf knows how to work hard and stay focused.  If he truly values his family and his marriage…he will take the time to focus on repairing the damage that has been done in the last week personally, professionally and spiritually.   Failure does not rest easy on someone who is so driven to perfect himself in some areas of his life.  Whatever failures he has apologised for creating regarding his values and his behaviors he can overcome…as long as his wife, family, friends, and business relationships are willing to heal. 

        I say, wish them well, get out of their way…and pray for them all.  This is not a science project to be studied under a microscope; this is not entertainment…it is real people, who have real lives, and real important things to lose.  Does the public really need to know every last detail; shouldn’t it be dealt with in private?

           We usually do something different with our kids and have a fall harvest celebration.  If the weather is decent we will have a campfire and maybe we do something like put up a pinata with a minimum of candy to tickle their fancy; but, not enough to be obscene about how much candy they end up consuming.   It is a good idea to have some games planned and invite their friends.  Be prepared for loud and boisterous fun…but that is ok…they are supposed to be having a good time.

          My  main concern about this time of year  is safety and spiritual well-being.  Some Halloween revelers take things to a level glorifying evil and gore.    I don’t like all of the gore, the frightening costumes, the evil that seems to be celebrated by some.  Most of all, i don’t like how vulnerable the kids are to violence, to kidnapping, or to many of the other dangers that go along with the so called “holiday”.   I think it is a good time to remind parents to keep your kids close…minimize the danger that they are exposed to. 

       When it comes to costumes…make sure that they have some kind of reflective quality so that they can be seen in the low lighting conditions.  Have them carry a lighting device or a glow stick.  Go over reminders of safe street crossings and appropriate approaches to people’s homes and property.  There are some people who do not watch out for little ones crossing streets and sidewalks.  Then there are those who don’t appreciate kids and teens prancing across their lawns “begging for candy”. 

        Every year we hear of parties that have gone wrong and someone is killed or injured in a fight or in a case of over-reaction to a misunderstanding.  We hear about kids who go about doing destructive pranks and then their are the occasional people with emotional/anger/substance abuse issues who react violently.  We hear about teens horsing around and accidents happening where another in the crowd is injured or killed because things get out of control.  There are incidents of bullying or gang activity.  There are rapes…and kidnappings; children become lost or missing in communities; they are at risk for predators at this time of year especially when it is acceptable to be walking the streets with masks on and in disquise.  Large cities often have issues with “devil’s night” fires and looting. These things can be minimized if parents take steps to insure that they know where their kids are and what they are doing…as well as who they are with.

         It is wise to go out with your children if you are going to allow them to go trick or treating.   Don’t let them out of your site.  You really don’t know who to trust and who your child/teen will be meeting up with.  It seems weekly that there are reports of missing and or exploited children…noone wants their child to be one of them.  We have heard too any news stories recently about children who have been violated or murdered to just let them go off and wish them a good time.  Parenting responsibilities don’t end just because your kids may be able to go off with a crowd.  

        Even teens…God bless them can get caught up in situations that either are not in their best interest or that can endanger them.   Your teens probably won’t verbalize their appreciation if you take a protective stance about their activities…however, no one ever promised that parenting would win you any popularity contest, now did they?   Create an alternative environment for them to get together with their friends; but, still be supervised and protected.   Law enforcement officers will appreciate the help because they can’t be everywhere at once.