However, there are products being labeled as “bath salts” that are powders packed in small tea bag sized envelopes and advertised as legal substitutions; merely to make money.  They are  being sold on the shelves of convience stores, truck stops and head shops all around the country; as well as online.  They are marketed as bath salts, when those who produce these products know full well that they are not being used for that purpose.

Those who produce, market or sell these items should be held accountable for those who have had their lives destroyed by their products. Their intended use is for individuals who are looking for a drug induced high.  Business selling them should be forced to removed them from their stores in my opinion.  In fact, some states & communities are banning their sales…but, we need to increase awareness of this issue; before the use of these products becomes more widespread.

The powders are snorted, smoked or injected.  This product is equal in intensity to meth in it’s effects on the human body and mind.  It can be addictive even when the user experiences terrible effects during usage.  Some people have committed murder, attempted suicide or just gone on a violent, destructive bender while using these products.  Emergency rooms, police and poison control centers are seeing an increase in calls in areas where these products are being sold.

Children and adults can purchase a package of “bath salts” for approximately $20 or so.  Unfortunately these things can be purchased online too.  A parent seeing one of these packages may not realize that it is a drug with very harmful effects.  These products have names like Cosmic blast, Vanilla Sky, Red Dove, White Lightning, Hurricane Charlie, and Bliss or Ivory Wave…they sound like a generic aromatherapy type of product; these packages are anything but.  It is un-believable that this product is allowed to be sold; knowing that lives are being ruined.  These legal substitutes are chemical stimulants designed to achieve a physical/psychological high and are extremely deadly.  They have strong stimulants inside the packages which closely copy the effects on the body like speed or ephedra.

The problem is that these legal substitutes are not something that the DEA regulates.  However, the damage these drugs do is causes dangerous reactions that often produce paranoia, violence and psychological terror that can not only endanger the user (who willingly takes that chance); but also affects anyone who is unfortunate enough to run into someone under the influence of such an un-predictable drug.

Some people abusing these bath salts, have described seeing visions of, aliens, devils or demons and attacking themselves or others because of those visions.  If you see this stuff being sold…report it to the authorities.  If you know someone using these products get them help immediately; report it to a poison control center and get them in to see medical personnel right away before they harm themselves or someone else.  Schools should be prepared for the influence of these products as well by having drug counselors on speed dial.  Educating individuals who are susceptible to the influence of using drugs to escape reality is going to be very important as this trend becomes more commonly known.   Becoming aware of this trend of abusing bath salts could help you spot the danger and help to save  lives.

With the economic disasters of the last decade, there are more people out on the street because they have been uprooted by a sudden change in their finances.  Military veterans often struggle with a return to civilian life and end up homeless.   Runaways also can end up homeless after they have run through the willingness of their friends and family to allow them to couch surf for a period of time.  Sometimes a runaway situation is by choice and sometimes it is out of a need for survival that they leave home.   Again, people become homeless for a variety of reasons; and, it doesn’t have to be a permanent situation.  People living on the street can also become a victim of violence, crime, or intimidation.   Homelessness can be a reaction to a temporary situation in a person’s life.   It does not have to mean a hopeless situation.

Ted Williams says that for the better part of 15 years he was homeless and living on the streets because of his addictions.  Turning his life around and getting sober allowed him to have  a dream.   Growing up he had a desire to get into broadcasting for a career.  The addictions took him on another path.  Recently, he stood along the roadway with a handwritten sign proclaiming that he had a God given voice.  A video was made of him by a reporter as he panhandled alongside the road; that video of him using his God given voice went viral.  Since that time, he has had a whirlwind couple of days with job offers inundating him.  He has the potential of seeing his aging mother who lives in Brooklyn, New York while he is doing all of these interviews with the major news networks.  This opportunity to reconnect mother and son is an answer to both of their prayers.  They both have said that they prayed to see him doing well again in life before she passed away. Their faith was rewarded by this reaction to the viral video.

I am sure that there are families all around the country with that same desire; to see their sons/daughters/fathers/mothers restored to a good place in life.  This feel good story of Ted Williams could be true for many more people who are homeless.  Ted has had an offer to work for the Cleveland Cavaliers and have a home again.  How many other people that are presently homeless have hopes and dreams that could come true if someone took notice of them on the street and didn’t dismiss them as hopeless?  it would be great if all of these opportunities being offered to Ted could be spread around to help others in the same situation.

Don’t get me wrong…I love this story about Ted Williams.  I am happy for him and his family.  I just can’t help thinking about the countless others who are still stuck on the street; caught up in drugs, alcohol, prostitution/human trafficking, or in an emotional/physical prison.   Illegal activities often become a way of life when there is no steady income from a job.   We need to focus some solutions to the problem on helping people to turn their lives around and become happy, healthy and productive individuals again.  Look at what a little positive attention has done for Ted Williams and imagine the same effect on those that you pass on the street in the same predicament any other day of the week.   How can you help?  Donate time, food, blankets, money or your skills to those who work with the homeless.  Employ them or help to educate someone; direct them to a safe shelter or to a counseling program which may be able to help them get back on their feet.  Try to shed a little light into the dark corners of the world where people don’t often feel worthy of a better life!

When a young person, no matter how troubled, crosses your path and you have the chance to positively impact their life…take it from me..you need to be bold, by doing or saying what needs to be said or done.  What you think may annoy them or offend is not as important as avoiding a potential event if that person has time to think through the things that they are doing with their life.

Not so long ago, such an opportunity came and went.  Several of us tried to touch the lives of the young men who momentarily passed through our youth group.  They had varying degrees of response to the spiritual teachings and to the adults trying to make a connection with them.  One young man was a rubber ball; oh he came back a few times…but he wasn’t there for spiritual guidance.  He appeared to be there for social reasons. 

That isn’t terribly unusual.  What is unusual is that there seemed to be little to no positive impact on his life; his heart was not about to let anyone in deep enough to touch him spiritually or emotionally.  Everything was funny to him or made him angry.  He did not respect authority nor did he appear to have a good relationship with any of the other teens in attendance, even though he went to school with them.

In fact, he seemed to flaunt his defiance and rebellion.   He instilled fear in some of the kids because of his actions and his attitude.  He threatened some, he disobeyed requests to respect bare minimum requests for appropriate behavior.  Mostly, he just put in a couple of  appearances and left the place “untouched or unchanged”.

One of the other two that came was a bit older.   This young man knew scripture and could quote it.  I had no knowledge of this person before he came to visit, the one and only time that he came to the youth group.  However, others knew of him.  He freely admitted that he was not living right (even though his family had taught him about God and living according to his guidelines).  This made me sad; yet, I was hopeful because he seemed to have a foot on both sides of the fence.  He was young, intelligent and had the capability of making the right choice.

Do not be fooled…people can’t live that way indefinitely; eventually, you must get off of the fence and make a choice on how you conduct yourself in life.   It comes down to a choice of living in a Godly way or choosing to do whatever you want regardless of the consequences.   Of course the news story has not yet been tried in court; so we do not know if what is being charged to these young people, is in fact what happened beyond a shadow of a doubt.   However, these young men that visited our youth group are now being charged with a murder.

Initially, as I said the younger man was totally defiant and the first one seemed to be trying to choose which way he was going to go.  I had hoped that he would choose the correct path.  His family I am sure was praying for the same outcome.  They both had been in trouble with the law before and were on probation, they said.  Drugs & alcohol appeared to be a part of the problem.  The older one seemed to be trying to come to terms with how he was going to go forward while on probation; while the other was mocking the system and made light of all of the wrongs they had done previously.  That never bodes well for anyone…to have an experience that is meant to teach us a lesson and to laugh in the face of it. 

While I know that everyone make mistakes; some people turn their lives around and others do not.  What makes the difference???  I don’t know, I wish that I did.   Many lives could be kept from making tragic mistakes that have huge and horrific consequences, if only someone had the answer to that question.

We always tell our teens that God is there; and he is.  He knocks and waits for a person to answer the door.  He patiently and lovingly keeps an eye on you and keeps trying to call your name so that your life is one of purpose and value.  One that is full of promise and hope.  He forgives mistakes and he wants for you to turn to him before life gets out of control; as long as the person truly is sorry for their mistakes and makes an effort to learn from it, when they ask God to forgive he does.  

Even when we make mistakes God never leaves us; he will be there when we need to pick up the tattered remains of our lives.  It is not too late for these young men (or anyone) to ask God to be the ruler of their lives.  It won’t undo the loss of  life, if they were indeed responsible for this person’s death.  However, God can make good come from any evil act or darkness in a person’s life.

Still, let’s not forget that justice will be served.  Forgiveness does not entitle anyone to be exempt from punishment.  There are c0nsequences to our actions…both good and bad.  It is hard to hear but it is a fact of life.

A life was lost and it cannot be returned.   That person’s family and friends will want justice…some will even want revenge.  Things do not have to be this way, a person’s future if you are convicted, is not one of freedom of choice.  It seems such a waste to have a whole life before you, only to throw it away; and for what reason?  A party, a moment of rebellion, a reckless decision, a fleeting moment of pleasure?  A choice that sometimes has a high price for the decision maker; care must be taken not to make choices that will waste the time we have here with our friends and family. 

 The victim had friends and family too, and they will be grieving.   Young men did you take this person’s life?  I don’t know.  But still i wonder, why didn’t you hear him when God called your name?  Or if you heard him, why didn’t you respond in a way that allowed God to be present in your daily life?  If you did, then the murder victim would still be alive, your family would not be facing a life without you in it on a daily basis, you would not be sitting in prison, when instead, you could be having a life full of all of the good things that God intended for you.

Why was your rebellion (of choosing drugs and violence) so much more important than choosing a life of right?  Why is it that the things God meant for you to hear fell away from you like water off of a ducks back?  Having rules and guidelines in life helps keep us accountable and out of situations that can destroy us.  Having parents, teachers, law enforcement, bus drivers etc who give you boundaries to follow aren’t doing it to make your life miserable; in fact, it is just the opposite, they care enough to tell you when you have crossed a line of inappropriate behavior, to help you do what is right.  It really is for your own good and the good of others.

Even though you were not a part of our youth group, on a permanent basis, I grieve that you have been accused of this murder.  I am sad that it is even a possibility that it could be true.  I am heartbroken for the victim’s friends and family.  I am horrified that the victim died a needless death full of pain, only to be discarded like something left behind that had no value.

Our world is becoming too full of these kinds of stories.   Stories filled with a lack of respect for others, violence, lack of accountability, a sense of entitlement, drugs/alcohol, low self-esteem, death, rape, anger, loneliness, sadness, abuse, lack of education, jail/prison, isolation, and so many other negative things that are harmful to our society.  There are too many lives that are destroyed by those who can’t or won’t respect authority and the rules of society; at home, in school, at church, on the streets or in any other environment.  There are too many innocent people who have to suffer from the negative choices that others make.   If we all tried to follow the rules that God set before us then there would be so much less suffering in the world.

My heart wonders if you have had time yet to wish that you had heard God when he called your name.  How many others will find themselves in situations of their own making because they have chosen to rebel and ignore the concerns of their loved ones?  How can we keep those we care about from making choices that harm themselves or others when they are living outside of God’s protection?  What can we learn from these horrible stories?

Bullying is more complicated these days because of the way in which it is done; it is psychological, it is persistent, and it can include threats, violence, or even sexual threats.  Most people over the age of 40 remember the school bully…you know the one.  He/She was the person who everyone feared and gave a wide berth to just because he sought out and picked on those he/she knew for a fact that they could take on and win.  We all have had some relationship to that kind of person.   However, now it seems that there is a group mentality when bullying or persistent harassment starts up.

  Back when i was growing up you had one of two options…ignore that person and stay far away from them or “stand up to them” and work up your courage to go toe to toe.  Remember the childhood phrase that we were all taught…sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you?  That couldn’t be farther from the truth; we all know that words have the power to destroy a person’s self-worth and the value of that person in the eyes of others.

Everyday it seems that we hear about another child/teen/college student that has been bullied or cyber stalked and trash talked about.  Many of those cases either end in a suicide or a violent attack or even in some cases of extreme bullying…a retribution plan of attack on a school with a violent outburst.  Lives are ruined, hearts and minds are damaged; many individuals end up in prison because of bullying.

 A real danger is people who think that bullying is a normal part of growing up…it isn’t and it should not ever be allowed.  Making excuses and telling a victim of such behavior to just ignore it is equal to nullifying their experience with bullying…which in effect tells them that they are powerless to change their circumstance in a positive way.

There is a hopelessness about our young people.   Many of them, in a desperate need to feel something, are self mutilating, becoming promiscuous,  developing eating disorders, or diving into the world of drug/alcohol addictions in reaction to their feelings about themselves and their lack of proper treatment by others.   They have been conditioned to think that nothing is going to change for the better; so they feel angry, bitter, broken and depressed.

 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it doesn’t affect you, your children, your grandchildren, or the children in your church or neighborhood.  It does; and things are getting desperate.  Kids feel threatened, they feel demeaned and they feel powerless…so, many of them will arm themselves and things escalate quickly.   This is good for no one.

Respect for themselves as well as others is important to fight bullying.  Finding mentors for our young people is helpful…getting involved in sports or extra curricular activities that give them an appropriate sense of pride in themselves and their involvement.  Community service that gives them a sense of personal value and connects them to others who recognize their strengths and talents.  Inspiring hope and promise for a future is what kids need.  Instead, we often find that our young people aren’t getting those important messages about themselves.

With all of the new technology, kids are able to be “connected” 24 hours a day to not only their friends; but also, to people who wish them harm.  This connection includes cell phones, cell phone pictures, texts, email, chat lines, websites and forums.   Kids live in the midst of a multi-media blitz in their lives in school and at home.  Pay attention to them closely; watch for any changes in behavior, attitude, relationships and moods.  It could be life and death-for them and anyone who is in their lives, personally and socially.

Don’t think, not my child, not my child’s friend or the kids in my youth group.  I’ve worked with kids most of my adult life; for well over 30 years and things have broken down.  Kids, even good ones have low self esteem, they are depressed, frightened and angry.   Many of them don’t feel loved (even when they are), they don’t feel valued, appreciated or listened to.  They feel trapped and alone or isolated…even when they are surrounded by friends and activities.  It is a recipe for disaster not to recognize the patterns or seeds of destruction.

In truth, it makes you want to build a fortress around them to protect them against those who seek them out to do them harm.  So what can a parent, an educator, a spiritual leader, a friend, or a sibling do to help those caught in the web of persistent bullying/stalking?

First of all, pay attention.  Listen closely, monitor things…set limits of exposure online.  Talk to them and their friends about situations of bullying in their school or social networks.  Document any kind of negative interaction…write it down, talk to the school administration, file a report, alert teachers, bus drivers, neighborhood watches to any kind of bullying or violent situations that may come up.  Create a network of awareness and prevention where you can.  Ask your school to bring in safety experts and relationship experts who are trained in these areas of concern. 

Expect there to be resistence from the powers that be.  Many of them will give lip service to the no tolerance rule of bullying…but never, EVER, let them talk you out of filing official reports or grievances.   Often a school will just expell a student for a short time as a discipline…never following up with corrective action such as counseling or conflict resolution.   Leadership must establish methods of dealing with this type of behavior in a constructive way. 

For the victims of bullying or school violence… it may be helpful to have some self-defense training, some skilled training about paying attention to their surroundings and who is in their direct physical environment; making judgement calls about making decisions about where to go and with whom.   Get restraining orders or personal orders of protection if you feel it is something necessary to the physical and emotional well-being of the victim.     In some cases, change schools or even in extreme cases…it is best to even move or send them to live with a relative temporarily-especially if there is gang involvement.   This is no small thing to overcome and you do not want a victim of bullying/violence to become a prisoner to fear in their everyday life.

Does that sound like an over-reaction?  I can assure you that it is not; don’t believe me?  Watch the news, listen to a mother or a father that has lost a child to school violence or bullying; they would do anything if they could go back and do something different.   Or maybe listen to the child who in reaction to the bullying, who took matters into his/her own hands and tried to retaliate only to end up in prison for years or for life.  That ought to convince you that taking drastic measures to protect your child or your family is a good thing.  You see, persistent bullying often spreads and becomes a contagious thing…affecting other family members or sometimes even others in the neighborhood.   It is serious, but things can be done to improve the situation; get good advice from law enforcement or safety experts on the matter.

Ok, remember that I mentioned that some of you wouldn’t make it this far because you think it doesn’t affect you.  These young people who are traumatized, or trained to protect themselves emotionally by closing off normal pathways of emotion, are going to grow up.  They are going to become doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers and nursing home supervisors, counselors and so on.

If their standards of what is acceptable, in relation to inappropriate levels of behavior have been damaged, are you going to want them caring for your grandchildren in day care, or taking care of one of your loved ones in a hospital or nursing home setting?  If they have learned to accept that kind of treatment in their own life, they surely won’t recognize it as inappropriate behavior in relation to others like yourself.  

Please, love on the youth today build them up and help them to be strong individuals in a healthy way; care for them, listen to them, protect them through legal channels and through school policies.  You won’t regret being proactive in the name of what is right!

         It got me to wondering what it is about heros that attracts us to them; what are they made of.   Why do heros do the things that they do?  Most of the time heros are fighting for justice, in other words fighting against the bad guys/gals, trying to protect other everyday non-heros from harm.  I think as we grow up, our understanding of what a hero is changes a bit.  I think we are attracted to the goodness in a hero or their ability to protect and to serve.  It is admirable and desirable to be capable of doing the right thing, for the right reason.

          In my mind, a hero is someone who does something unexpected in a challenging way that helps/protects/inspires/encourages another person who is not in a position to do it for themselves at the time.   A hero is someone who makes a split second decision to reach out and make a difference even if the cost is high-such as a stranger who rushes to protect another person from a crime, a threat, a bad decision, or a moment of danger.

           Sometimes a hero is a person who is “just doing their job” in their own words; but to another ordinary person their commitment to the deed is extra-ordinary because of the level of commitment to performing the deed comes with high risk or a high cost to the person choosing to take action.  A police officer, a fireman/woman, a postal worker, a teacher, a store clerk, military men and women…the list goes on and on; these people are heros in my book. 

           What about the volunteer or caregiver who takes extra measure to seek a solution to another person in need?  Are they a hero?   What about people who put themselves out on the front line to fight for what they believe in even when it is not popular; are they heros?  I believe that they are.

            I think about those people who fight for the poor, aged, disabled, ill, those who wage a war against cancer, domestic violence, drug & alcohol addictions, human trafficking, homelessness, abortion, abuse/neglect, children without families or without basic needs being met.  The people who champion for an awareness or for changes to existing circumstances just because it is the right thing to do…I believe these people are heros.  They are an inspiration!

           Miep Gies died yesterday at age 100.  She was a hero but she didn’t like to think of herself that way.  She was an office worker in the employ of Anne Frank’s father Otto Frank; she hid Anne Frank and her family and friends in a secret room in a warehouse during the years that Hitler was rounding up Jews to kill them, during the Holocaust.  She is the woman who bicycled around the city finding food to feed them, and who eventually found the pages of Anne Frank’s diary when they were arrested.  She risked her own life to do what was the right thing to do to protect other human beings in extra-ordinary difficult circumstances.

             There are so many different kinds of heros in our every day lives if only we stop to think about it.  I think the act of a hero is a call from God to step outside of ourselves to be the hands and feet of Jesus…to be the best person that we can be.

           Do you know someone like this?  Write me a comment and give them a little plug.  Most heros are unsung heros because they don’t believe that they deserve attention for doing what they consider the right thing to do.  And, maybe in one sense they don’t…because we should all be doing these things…but the truth of the matter is, that without examples how will others learn to be heros in their own right?  We must hold up examples of special people who do acts of heroism…because in doing that we are encouraging more of that kind of behavior. 

So is there a hero that you know of doing something wonderful?   What is your hero made of…tell us all about them.  Please comment here and let us know about this person and what they are doing to make the world a better place!  Thanks for being a light!

        Women need to be aware of the danger of taking any over the counter medication during pregnancy; without the advice of their doctor.  Often there are label warnings on packages…but sometimes, they are writting in small print.   They must avoid high stress (pregnant or not…that is good advice).  Pregnancy can put stress on relationships as well.  If the woman is involved in a relationship that is unstable or prone to emotional or physical abuse…she needs to be aware of her vulnerability in that situation. 

       Consulting with those in her community who are trained professionals is important in those situations for their safety and well-being.   Seeking the advice of those who work with abused women is also good.  You can do this on a local level, or you can do it online here: http://www.ndvh.org/ but beware, a woman who is being intimidated or abused at home may have her computer monitored.  If it is discovered that she is reaching out to others…she could be at risk for more violence…so use a computer that is safe to use. 

          It is unfortunate that we live in a world where violence directed towards women happens every day.  We hear, on the news, scary reports of women being killed, by strangers, for their unborn children.  Not only do women have to be aware that such dangers exist;  they must also take precautions when they go out in their communities during their daily routines.  It is sad but true…there are people who live and breathe, who care only about their own wants and desires…some of them are mentally unstable and dangerous.  A pregnant woman has to be very aware of her surroundings at all times.

          If that isn’t enough, women often worry about things like miscarriage, or birth defects.  It is normal to have those thoughts and concerns…but, outside of avoiding drugs/alcohol/smoking and taking care to eat a healthy, well balanced diet rich in folic acid and maintaining a healthy weight; there isn’t much that a woman can do to control things like a miscarriage or birth defect risks.  Well, that is not exactly true…in my opinion, because I believe in the power of prayer in all situations.  God is good and is the giver of life.

        Everyday there is some kind of new discovery about what is, and what is not, safe for a pregnant woman.  Alot of it is common sense when it comes to making choices and decisions. 

         When it comes to exercising during pregnancy…most of the time, medical professionals will tell a woman that whatever she was doing before becoming pregnant is probably safe.  However each woman, with every pregnancy, must see her doctor and decide what is right for her and her baby, at that moment in time; because, situations can change from day to day.  Getting regular checkups while pregnant is always the best advice.  Your doctor or nurse can answer any questions about what you should or should not be doing.

         Which brings me to my next topic, which is a news article on the upcoming flu season; and, women getting flu shots.  It is being recommended by many doctors, according to a news report that I read on the ABC news website, that women who are pregnant, or expecting to be pregnant, get the flu shot when it is released; to help protect them from the swine flu.  The media keeps talking about a possible pandemic regarding the flu.  They say that pregnant women are more vulnerable to the swine flu because their immune systems are lower during pregnancy and it could complicate their health, as well as the health of the baby that they carry. 

           While some advocate getting the flu vaccination…others would caution a woman to be very careful in making that decision.  Again, the best source of information is going to be your health care provider. 

          Now, I know that a woman can’t help but worry about all the things that could go wrong with a pregnancy; but, it seems to me that if you spend all of your time worrying…you won’t have any time to enjoy the pregnancy.  This is the time that she, as a mother, spends bonding with her child as it grows in her womb.   Are there worries; sure there are.  However, those worries do not have to dominate the pregnancy.  Taking some simple precautions during the time that others in her circle of influence are ill, should help to keep a pregnant woman healthy.

           Keeping her opportunities of exposure down to a bare minimum is important; cutting down on some social activities during peak flu season is advisable.  Washing her hands often and well is one of the best ways to avoid becoming sick.  Keeping hand sanitizer in her purse , office, or her vehicle and using it often is a good thing.  Using antibacterial sprays on surfaces that are used in community type environments is good; such as in bathrooms and kitchens.    Avoid large gatherings where exposure to sickness of any kind is greatly increased due to the numbers of people.  

           Of course, the best things that you can do for your baby; you should also, already, be doing for yourself.  Those things are to be involved in a loving & healthy relationship with the co-parent of your child.  Eat balanced meals and get plenty of rest.  Make sure that meats  and eggs are cooked long enough to kill any contaminants.  Wash fresh fruits and vegetables well to get rid of pesticides.   Drink lots of water and milk (preferrably milk that is pasteurized, and without any additives).  Avoid alcohol, smoking, stress and dangerous activities.  If your doctor advises it; take prenatal vitamins.  Exercise under the advice of your physician.   Pregnancy doesn’t last forever and this time is precious.  Worrying about everything under the sun doesn’t change a thing; but, taking steps to ensure a healthy and happy pregnancy does.

          Michael’s childhood was interrupted when he was 11 years old; when his family, The Jackson 5, made their musical debut.   Their father Joe was a steel worker in Gary, Indiana.  When the family began to find some success, everything changed.  Some say that Michael lost his childhood during those years of performing with his family; and later, when he began a solo career after his 13th birthday.  Stories are often told of his stormy relationship with his father and his family; both during those years of performing as a family when perfection was demanded and later in life when he distanced himself from his father and others.  Michael has done interviews where he talked of the mental and physical abuse he says came from his father.  That alleged abuse has affected the entire family of siblings in different ways.  Emotionally this created isolation between some of the siblings and in their relationships with others outside of the family.

            There were financial difficulties, misunderstandings between Michael and some of his friends, creditors who felt ignored…custody battles, divorces, legal wrangling over his property Neverland Ranch, legal disagreements with a Middle Eastern Prince over a recording deal…etc.  There always seemed to be some sort of controversy in Michael’s life.

         Over the years, there has been mystery surrounding Michael’s way of life.  From the strange to the absurd to the fascination with Peter Pan and the Neverland ranch to allegations of child abuse against others.   He also said, in the past, that he never wanted to grow up because he felt like he missed his childhood.   Some of the odd rumors and child molestation accusations created even more of a seperation between Michael and others.   Some of his fans and his friends supported him over the years…but, a few of his antics in public did not help the perception of who Michael Jackson was.  He often covered his face in public and that of his children.  He did some questionable things such as dangling his infant son over a balcony.   Some celebrity friends have made statements about how they feel that Michael was misunderstood.   However, not too many people have denied his creative musical genius.  Berry Gordy, at one time head of Motown, says that he felt like Michael was his son.  They were close throughout the years.  There is a long list of celebrities who felt that Michael was their friend.  Still, other “friends” who are talking openly about concerns they had with some aspects of Michael’s life.  I am sure there are more disclosures to come. 

         Michael’s personal adult relationships have also held questions and mystery.  Debbie Rowe is the woman who carried two of his children; she worked for one of Michael’s doctors when they met.  He later married and divorced her.  Later he married, Lisa Marie Presleythe daughter of Elvis.  She says that she was in over her head trying to prevent what just happened with his death.  She says that he talked about his fear of ending up like her father.   She felt frustrated that she couldnt help him and she allegedly said that she was emotionally and spiritually exhausted trying to help him.

         News stories have alluded to the fact that it is well known, in his inner circle, that he has been addicted to perscription drugs since the days of his injuries that he incurred when he was filming a Pepsi commercial and his hair caught on fire.  That is going back alot of years.  Lisa Marie says that their marriage was not a sham…that she loved him and dreaded what was to come in his life.  His romantic relationships were interrupted through the births of his children and custody issues and then, if in fact Lisa Marie statements are understood to mean that enablers were in his life at that time as well as now…then, he really stood no chance of overcoming his addictions.  As long as he had money to pay for it…they would supply the drugs that he was addicted to.

        In his death, there will still be controversy…not only for the way that he died…but in the settlement of his legacy.  His finances, his debts…the placement of his children and who knows…maybe in the end; there will be some understanding of who Michael really was.

Ryan, allegedly, said that he has lied to her and said she is doing well; he has said that he also lied to their son Redmond, about her condition.  He has been in jail for allegedly being in possession of drugs.  Ryan feels it is best to keep them both in the dark about the grim outlook for her recovery.  He also says he will not know this world without her.  What does that mean?  Does that mean that he can’t go on if she leaves this world in body and spirit?  Or does he mean that he can’t imagine a world without her in it?  It is a heartbreaking situation whether you are a celebrity or an everyday person who has had a loved one in a battle with cancer…cancer is an equal opportunity enemy.

Then, there is another story that is a mixture of the mad and the sad.  Elizabeth Edwards has written a book called Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and the Gifts Facing Life’s Adversities.  This book documents some of the challenges that she herself has had in her life; the loss of her son Wade, cancer, and her husband’s alleged affair with a woman named Rielle Hunter, and allegations of Elizabeth’s husband John fathering a child with Rielle, who he met while he was on the campaign trail.   Elizabeth has given Oprah an intense interview regarding some of these issues.  Since clips of that interview have been released into the media, the woman in question has said that she is open to doing a paternity test on her daughter who she claims is the child she bore from her relationship with John Edwards.  He has in the past denied that the child is his.  He admitted the affair after allegations surfaced.  He is now being investigated about whether finances from his campaign were inappropriately handled relating to his relationship with Ms. Hunter.  John said in the past, that he would take a DNA test to disprove paternity…but, that was when Ms. Hunter said she would not put herself or her child through that.  Now, she has since changed her mind with all of this media attention focusing on who’s her baby’s daddy.    There is a little mad under current running through the media headlines; as everyone is trying to tell their side of the story.    There is plenty of justified hurt, anger and embarrassment to go around.

Finally,  there is the news story that seemed to stick in everyone’s craw.  Drew Peterson, a former police officer, who has been in and out of the news regarding the death and disappearance of two of his wives over the last few years has been arrested.  Last night, Drew was arrested as a suspect in the death of his third wife, Kathleen Savio.  She was found dead in a dry bath tub; it was made to look as if she had accidently drowned.   Wife number four, Stacy,  has disappeared and never been found.   Drew has tried to imply that she left him for another man.   He has made headlines with his arrogance and seemingly inappropriate jokes.

It was only a few months ago when he was in a relationship with another young woman…that too made the news as her father was extremely concerned about her and her child when she moved in with Drew.  They had become engaged and the young woman’s father had the police visit the home several times out of concern for her well-being.   There are many people in his home town, i am sure, who are glad that he is behind bars with a 20 million dollar bond.   Things have had a bit of a circus atmosphere surrounding Drew Peterson and his home for quite a while as the media focus was pretty intense for such a long time.   In fact, Kathleen Savio’s sister did an interview this morning and said that it was the first night when she was able to sleep well…feeling safe that he was behind bars.

Not everyone is going to be glad about this situation, such as his children.  This is going to be traumatic for them, as this process takes it’s course through the courts.   What will happen to them?  Has Drew made arrangements for them to be able to stay with someone in case this happened?  Or will his children end up in foster care?  The police waited to arrest him until he left home so that they did not have to do that in front of his children.   Some days the news is filled with nothing but pain and suffering; we have to remember that each story is not just a story… it is a situation that affects many lives on both sides of each issue.

Redmond has been sitting in jail awaiting court proceedings because of drug charges.  It is alleged that he was arrested for heroin possession at a jail facility where he was picking up/dropping off a friend.  He goes to court this week; but prior to that…this past Saturday, a judge allowed a three hour visit with his mother, Farrah who is ill.  It is possible that Redmond will be allowed to go back into rehab.  It is being said, that those in custody, in jail, are occasionally allowed supervised visits when a family member is seriously ill, or when there is a death in the family.  Spokespersons are saying that Farrah is no worse  health-wise, then when she was hospitalized in recent weeks.

My feeling is that this visit was allowed because whether Redmond is allowed back into rehab, or he is sentenced to more jail time for possession of drugs…he would be housed further away from his ill mother; making visiting her difficult, should her circumstances change during that time.

I wonder, how bittersweet was the moment of the visit.  Surely, Farrah was thrilled to see her son…filled with love and affection; as well as parental concern about his future.  On Redmond’s thoughts you have to wonder…does he understand the weight of the worry that his mother bears about his future?  This has to be extra ordinarily difficult for her; to continue her fight against this disease and, to not be able to physically stand alongside of her child to help him battle his alleged addictions.

The bonds of mother and child are a legendary thing.  Can she communicate how important his well-being is to her?  Will he be able to gain the upper hand in his  alleged struggles with drugs?  Will his battle take him away from his mother when she needs him most?  Redmond is her only birth child…she does have step children with Ryan O’Neal; but, if the media has correctly portrayed the family situation; family relationships are strained with Ryan’s children.  This family is a family filled with talented and passionate people, but they have struggled over the years; the O’Neals have had their public battles; custody issues, divorce, drugs, violence and anger issues.   Celebrity brings public awareness to some of the same issues that plague non-famous families around the world.  Often it is harder to heal those hurts when in the public eye.

The media has sent mixed messages to the public about Farrah’s medical condition.  It is all beside the point; she is definately a fighter.  I can only imagine how difficult that visit must have been…to only have three hours in which to squeeze in the transportation to and from the visit…and have so little time to actually talk and spend quality time together.  There was no time to waste on things of little importance.   One hopes that this is not the last visit that they are able to have with one another.  Addictions are a terrible thing; so is cancer…they both destroy if they go unchecked.  Let’s hope that there is long term healing in store for them both…mother and child.

        You see this all of the time in the world of celebrities…but everyday people often fall into that trap as well.  Beauty, youth, and popularity all pass away in time…what’s left is the spirit, the mind, and their purpose in life.  If those aren’t developed along the way…the search for meaning is sometimes mis-directed onto meaningless relationships, trendy pseudo-religions, drugs/alcohol abuse, and endless dramatic attempts to seek attention. 

         As a society we need to devalue the attention that the media puts on empty pursuits by public role models.  We need to encourage those sports figures, politicians, and celebrities who are doing positive…purposeful things in life.  Quite giving time and attention to those who are living on the edge and doing nothing more with the gifts in their lives than pursuing selfish and destructive behaviors.  In raising our children, we need to develop character building, self esteem, and goals of reaching out to others. 

          We do this by teaching them to discover how to connect to others, give back to those who are less fortunate in life, teach them spiritual fulfillment, and to value their bodies by encouraging modesty and healthy self- esteem building techniques. 

           I dont like seeing young guys or gals flaunting their bodies or their finances to gain attention; I like it even less when i see a 40-60 year old who talks, acts, spends, and dresses like a teenager…because that is the only way they know to attract members of the opposite sex.   Let’s encourage an attitude of growth, respect, confidence, and personal development as a way of life!