The National Night Out campaign strives to bring a focus on the awareness of drug & crime prevention efforts, to strengthen the collective power of neighborhood watches and the role of police and community programs to build up anti-crime programs to protect local communities.  It is high time that the criminal element recognize the fact that law abiding citizens are sick and tired of being held hostage to those who have little regard for the safety and well-being of others.

Tonight is the night that many communities will hold events to support efforts to be aware of neighborhood crimes, to report suspicious activities and to recognize the fact that individuals have the power to change negative behaviors that affect whole communities by being mor pro-active in their own local areas by helping to fight back through a partnership with law enforcement to take back the streets to make them safer for friends, neighbors and families.   If you would like to find out more about National Night Out activities…check out their site here: http://www.nationalnightout.org/nno/

      This is not ok.  The reason that it is not ok is because our country is increasingly finding out that our kids are in trouble.  They often have relationship issues, drug/alcohol abuse issues, eating disorders, trust issues and more.   Many of their role models have not been good ones; and finding good leadership for them to learn from is difficult.  Teen years are challenging at best when it is natural for them to try to discover who they are and what freedoms they can enjoy.

       They are in trouble in school, at home, out with their friends, in trouble with the law, they are isolated, angry, hurt, sad, frustrated, fearful and many are finding it hard to trust anyone or anything to be there for them.  Yet at the same time, there is resistence or open rebellion when it comes to accepting advice or rules meant to help them, keep them safe and meant to guide or direct them.  This not only creates difficulty in having a healthy, loving and respectful relationship between parent and child it also puts the child/teen at risk of being influenced by others who have no real vested interest in making sure that the child/teen is happy, healthy, productive and well-balanced in their life.

       One of the situations that came to my attention was a situation in which a school in the US runs a health clinic.  At the beginning of the year, a parent signed a consent form allowing the child/teen to go to the clinic if the need arose for treatment.  This would have allowed that student to receive care for a headache, a physical, birth control, and a multi-tude of other services.  One of those other services appears to be pregnancy counseling and get this…the facilatation of setting up and transporting the student off school grounds to receive an abortion-without informing or getting the consent of the legal parent of said student.   This did in fact happen, a student was put in a taxi from my understanding of the news report and sent off to receive an abortion.  Evidently by signing that generic consent form this “allowed” the high school student to receive such services.   This is outrageous; it is not like that student had a hangnail removed…this student made a life altering decision; one that will impact her physically, spiritually and emotionally…without parental involvement.

       That is or should be unacceptable to most families.  It is as if the school assumed a superior level of authority over the parents in an area of life that should have been left up to the student, her parents, the student’s boyfriend and his parents and if they could not handle the situation then, and only then, maybe the court system.  

        Parental rights and parental authority are under attack in this country.  We see it at every level of society from commercials on television and radio, to the internet, to entertainment such as music videos, movies, and television shows…the parents are made out to be interferring, control freaks, laughable buffoons to be made fun of, and if at all necessary someone to distance themselves from.   Yet when kids get out of control behaviorally, emotionally or physically…many other venues from the schools, to law enforcement to businesses want the parents to “handle or correct” the situation with their children/teens.   You can’t expect parents to be an authority figure to their kids if you are putting down, reducing the effects of parental authority/control, or are in some way ridiculing parental involvement in their kids lives.  

       It is hard when parents are often told how they can and cannot discipline or correct their children.  The respect for parental authority is challenged in court and in the classroom.  It doesn’t help when many families are broken or in fact have never formed legally in the first place.  Kids get conflicting sets of rules and expectations and often in those situations are told by whatever person in authority over them at the time tears down or directly tells the child/teen that they do not have to listen to or respect the other parent’s rules or expectations if they differ from their own.

       In the news also is the case of a father who took his child to church against the wishes of the mother.  When the mother and father were together they agreed to raise the child in the Jewish faith.  When the parents were no longer together…the father decided to go back to his Christian faith and take his child to court.  Now the court says he can not expose the child to his faith.  Who has more authority with the child; the mother, the father, or the court.  Evidently the court does.  

        This is why in previous generations there were warnings about “mixed marriages” when it came to beliefs or what the old timers called being unequally yolked or joined together.  It is hard to have a respectful blending of beliefs and raise children in those kind of relationships.  Can it be done?  It seems only if the couple agrees to expose them to differing viewpoints…because in this particular case, the court says no, the father may not take his child to his church to educate the child about his beliefs.   Is this right or wrong?

        I have a friend who has a special needs child who is in his 30′s who lives in an assisted living type of home.  That individual developed some complications with his health years ago and almost died.  The parent in that situation had to fight tooth and nail to keep authority over the medical treatment of her son.  Again this past week, her parental authority was challenged.  

        The doctor in charge wanted to medicate her child to battle some health issues that a lifestyle change would also help to fascilitate his return to health.  It looked as if the powers that be would escalate the struggle to the next level and would have even gone beyond harsh words and a pushy agenda in gaining the upper hand in who was in control over the medical decisions regarding the young man.   The parent had to push to “temporarily” removed him from the environment and stressed that the same goal of reducing the health risk to her son could be achieved by changes to his diet and exercise plan on a daily basis.   This is going to come down to what they can achieve and the documentation of her approach.  If it doesn’t work the way that the parent knows to be true; then the facility will try to enforce their plan of medication which in his case can have an extremely dire affect upon his health because of the side effects.

         All of these situations and more every day are jeparodizing the importance of the role that parents play in shaping the lives of their children.  We who have children have to step up to the plate and demand that we be given the opportunity to raise our children to the best of our ability with full legal, moral, physical and spiritual authority; unless we prove that we are not capable of handling that authority.  Parental authority/parental rights should only be challenged or threatened in cases of abuse/neglect/or endangerment.

        What are your thoughts on this subject?  Do you have an experience that you would like to share?

           We usually do something different with our kids and have a fall harvest celebration.  If the weather is decent we will have a campfire and maybe we do something like put up a pinata with a minimum of candy to tickle their fancy; but, not enough to be obscene about how much candy they end up consuming.   It is a good idea to have some games planned and invite their friends.  Be prepared for loud and boisterous fun…but that is ok…they are supposed to be having a good time.

          My  main concern about this time of year  is safety and spiritual well-being.  Some Halloween revelers take things to a level glorifying evil and gore.    I don’t like all of the gore, the frightening costumes, the evil that seems to be celebrated by some.  Most of all, i don’t like how vulnerable the kids are to violence, to kidnapping, or to many of the other dangers that go along with the so called “holiday”.   I think it is a good time to remind parents to keep your kids close…minimize the danger that they are exposed to. 

       When it comes to costumes…make sure that they have some kind of reflective quality so that they can be seen in the low lighting conditions.  Have them carry a lighting device or a glow stick.  Go over reminders of safe street crossings and appropriate approaches to people’s homes and property.  There are some people who do not watch out for little ones crossing streets and sidewalks.  Then there are those who don’t appreciate kids and teens prancing across their lawns “begging for candy”. 

        Every year we hear of parties that have gone wrong and someone is killed or injured in a fight or in a case of over-reaction to a misunderstanding.  We hear about kids who go about doing destructive pranks and then their are the occasional people with emotional/anger/substance abuse issues who react violently.  We hear about teens horsing around and accidents happening where another in the crowd is injured or killed because things get out of control.  There are incidents of bullying or gang activity.  There are rapes…and kidnappings; children become lost or missing in communities; they are at risk for predators at this time of year especially when it is acceptable to be walking the streets with masks on and in disquise.  Large cities often have issues with “devil’s night” fires and looting. These things can be minimized if parents take steps to insure that they know where their kids are and what they are doing…as well as who they are with.

         It is wise to go out with your children if you are going to allow them to go trick or treating.   Don’t let them out of your site.  You really don’t know who to trust and who your child/teen will be meeting up with.  It seems weekly that there are reports of missing and or exploited children…noone wants their child to be one of them.  We have heard too any news stories recently about children who have been violated or murdered to just let them go off and wish them a good time.  Parenting responsibilities don’t end just because your kids may be able to go off with a crowd.  

        Even teens…God bless them can get caught up in situations that either are not in their best interest or that can endanger them.   Your teens probably won’t verbalize their appreciation if you take a protective stance about their activities…however, no one ever promised that parenting would win you any popularity contest, now did they?   Create an alternative environment for them to get together with their friends; but, still be supervised and protected.   Law enforcement officers will appreciate the help because they can’t be everywhere at once. 

        She joined them and according to some news reports she too began drinking.  At some point, this group found it’s way to a darkened out of the way area on the school grounds where some terrible violence occured.  This young woman was violently gang raped, beaten and robbed; left to lay curled up alongside of some benches.  The story is still evolving, however there are reports that she may have been raped by as many as 10 individuals while other individuals came and watched, possibly taking pictures with their cell phones…and others were involved in physically assaulting her.    All in all, the numbers are still changing…but, at this point…five individuals have been arrested so far; ranging in ages from 15-21 years of age. 

       It is being said that those who viewed the crime but didn’t report it wont be brought up on charges, even though it is against the law for people to view a crime against children and not intervene through law enforcement; but it only applies from my understanding to children under the age of 14.  Still, if it is true that some by standers did in fact capture the attack on their cell phones…that is evidence.  But, if any of those people turn it in to the authorities…i wonder if they wont be charged for filming “sexual images involving a minor”, especially if they published it online.

        Investigators are still interviewing individuals and processing evidence.   A large number of people actually watched this rape and assault take place and did nothing to intervene; nor, did they call authorities or emergency personel.  

        This is a huge disconnect on a compassionate level for human beings; law enforcement, social workers, mental health experts, educators, parents and students will be studying this unfortunate situation for years to come to make sense of it and try to find a way to correct the conditions which allowed it to take place.   This attack allegedly took place over 2 1/2 hours; that is a long time to watch someone being abused and not be moved to act.  Eventually, some young men were discussing the alleged events and someone overheard it and called to report it to the authorities. 

         There are so many levels of horror to discuss here that it begs to be argued over which issue is more important.  However, rape and assault are never ok…and should never be condoned or viewed as entertainment or a spectator sport…that is my first thought that I want to communicate.    Beyond that…certainly we need to understand the reasons why our young people who were involved in this situation could allow themselves to witness and or participate in such dispicable behavior towards another human being.  Those who witnessed it and did not make attempts to stop it, nor to notify law enforcement need to examine why they did not take appropriate, compassionate action! 

         The young woman’s father allegedly tried to reach her by her cell phone and got no response.  I can only imagine the thoughts that ran through his head that evening or even now, knowing what took place and how his child was violated.

           The school where this took place has said that the homecoming dance event was a success with no problems…it was only after the young woman left the building that this assault took place.  While I understand what they were trying to convey…it did come across as somewhat insensitive to read articles that alledge that the school said that the school doesn’t take the students home…meaning that they aren’t responsible once they walk out the door.  Whether that is what the person speaking meant to say, or whether it was in fact what they did say…it does little to reasssure parents or community leaders that minor students are in fact safe in these environments once they are beyond the eyes of those who are supervising.

         Does any of this alleviate personal choices made by any of the individuals involved in the actual assault?  No…certainly we are all responsible for individual choices and actions.  Those who beat, raped or viewed the assault and did nothing have to understand their own responsibility.  The young woman who made the choice to stop and drink alcohol (which can lessen a person’s ability to make clear and responsible decisions in situations that are not safe) will be questioning her own decision making for a long time to come.  She will have a long road towards healing physically and emotionally.

        Let’s be clear…drinking alcohol certainly does not give anyone permission to physically or sexually assault another person.  Was it a wise decision to stop and drink alcohol on school grounds with a group of people when the young woman was only 15 years old?  No, underage drinking is not wise.  Still, no one deserves to be beaten and raped.  She will spend a lifetime trying to overcome this horrible experience and heal from the traumatic memories.

           These questions and more will be asked and pondered over.  In a larger sense, maybe as a society we need to examine the things that go on in our society that desensitize individuals to do these types of things.  We need to look at our cuture for some of these answers.  Everyday we bombard our citizens, both young and old, with images and words in marketing/ advertising aimed at sensualizing and sexualizing everything from soap to clothing, to food, to music, movies and video games.  Extremely troubling is some music videos and video games that seem to highlight treating women and children violently and with disregard for their well-being. 

         There are serious consequences to this kind of behavior in real life.  Rape and violence of any kind are troubling breaches of appropriate behavior and an acceptable personal moral code of conduct.   Some of these images and audios promote violent and uncaring attitudes towards others.  Respect for others is lacking; and things that seemed to be valued are monetary things.   Is it any wonder why some individuals appear to have a lack of control or compassion?

        We must start demanding positive and uplifting changes if we are to combat these types of incidents from becoming common place. 

Most people really do not know how to start preparing.  That is what National Preparedness Month is all about.  I want to share a couple of websites with you so that you can benefit from the information they provide to help you get ready to face whatever kind of emergency situation you are faced with.

Before I do that, I would like to say that there are some very simple things you can do to prepare for any difficulty you may face.  The other sites will help you to prepare for other specific disasters or emergencies.  First off, putting together a simple emergency kit is important.

Start with a good sized tote and fill it with a couple of days supplies of non-perishable food stuff-this may include things like formula  (if a baby is in the house) or soft foods for the elderly, at least a 3-5 day supply of water for each person in the family, high energy protein bars, small containers of medication in waterproof containers for chronic conditions, toilette paper, waterproof matches, flashlights & batteries, cell phone & charger, important documents & ID, blankets, and change of clothing, a can opener,a small radio, walkie-talkies or hand held CB, hand sanitizer gel, small cook stove or portable small grill with fuel, camping lantern, small portable folded rain poncho, small foil folded emergency blanket to retain warmth, hand or foot chemical foot warmer packets, first aid kit, these are all basics.  You think about what you or a specific family member needs to survive several days without help.  Make your kit tailor made for your family’s survival in mind.  Dont forget the family pets…keep emergency pet food and water supply for them as well.   This site may help you to discover what to put in your kit: http://www.ready.gov/america/npm09/getakit.html

Think about where you live and what kind of natural disasters happen often in your area…if you are prone to flooding…then definately prepare for that…not only in your home…but in your vehicle as well.  Have something handy in your vehicle that will allow you to cut the seat belts & break the vehicle windows if you are trapped in flooded waters.  Many people die each year because they can’t get their windows open due to water pressure on the windows.  If your area is prone to tornadoes…learn about the safest place in your home to wait out the storm.  The same thing with wildfires…do you have an emergency evacuation plan worked out?  You get the idea, keeping safety and well-being in mind, take action.

Another thing I learned about recently is a battery company that is doing it’s part to help prepare cities that are vulnerable to weather related emergencies.  They are donating what they call hours of power by donating batteries to first reponders and law enforcement authorities in those cities by having visitors to their blog simply click on a button.  There is no cost, you dont have to sign up for anything…you simply click on their button.  This is something everyone with a computer can do.  Check it out here and click:  http://www.duracell.com/us/hoursofpower/cities.asp or here: http://www.duracell.com/us/hoursofpower/safety-tips.asp .

Ok, now that you know what to do…get ready, get set…go prepare!

     In years past, families lived in a multi-generational home or environment.  People at different stages of life who could teach and role model life experiences to the younger generation.  That doesn’t happen for many people growing up today.  Often, youth are left to raise themselves because of cultural changes that force both parents to work outside of the home during their children’s most formative years.  They dont get the nurturing or encouragement for positive emotional and educational growth that they need; when they need it.  Instead, they often grow up without much experience with success because there isn’t a go to person on a daily basis to follow up with their scholastic challenges or social interactions.

       Working with the youth of today, it never fails to amaze me at their low levels of expectations of success.  They have hopes and dreams like everyone else; and yet, they do not believe in their ability to make those hopes and dreams come true.  Many of them are failing their classes in school; others do not have the emotional, physical, or financial support of their families.  Some don’t expect more out of life than to get a minimum wage job and some place to live.  They are discouraged, distrustful, and frustrated; in other words, they are feeling defeated even before they attempt something new.

         Finding an attitude of overcoming obstacles appears to overwhelm or paralyze many youth.  When talking to a young person that is on track and appears to have set some goals, as well as having a plan to achieve their goals; it is exciting.  That is  because they appear to know how to channel opportunities, resources, experiences, and support, to help them reach their goals.

         People would do well to remember that the youth of today are our leaders tomorrow.  They are worth an investment of our time, our energy, and our resources.  Please, find someone who can use a little encouragement and support; and be a mentor, be a friend, or become a role model that they can look up to.  You won’t regret it, they will  benefit from a little focussed, positive energy coming their way.  You will also benefit from the experience, because it helps you to view life and experiences from a different point of view…one of a compassionate nature.  You can pay it forward from someone in your past who took the time to teach you how to build up your self esteem, your knowledge, and maybe even a career/educational pathway.   How can you help?

        Get involved with the youth in a local church, agency, charity, non-profit, or organization.   Offer up an opportunity to share some of your skills, education, or financial resources to those with a solid track record of community involvement.  You know you have something of value to offer…even if it is just your time…go ahead…what are you waiting for?

         Try some of these organizations on for size:  

http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.diJKKYPLJvH/b.1539751/k.BDB6/Home.htm,

 http://www.habitat.org/youthprograms/int/default.aspx   ,    

http://www.specialolympics.org/,

http://www.americorps.gov/about/programs/state.asp,

http://www.littleleague.org/Little_League_Online.htm

      A nursing home in Carthage, North Carolina has 8 dead people , 7 residents and a nurse, because a young man came into the nursing home and started shooting at people.  The reason is unclear at this point.  It is alleged that his estranged wife works at this nursing home although that is not confirmed.   An unprovoked attack on innocent people that would have been much worse had it not been for the heroic actions of a 25 year old police officer who was able to stop the shooter.   While the news media covers these terrible bursts of violence…we must learn to carefully balance how these things are addressed in the media; so that they do not become gloried examples for those with similar thoughts.   

        Another equally upsetting situation; an ex-con attacks his sisters and kills two of them…one a five year old child on her birthday.  He kills his 17 year old sister by brutally stabbing her…then, he goes after the five year old and decapitates her as the police come in.  She is found near her birthday cake.     The nine year old sister had called the officers…some how she was stabbed as well; she is in the hospital with injuries.  Not only has she been injured, she lost members of her family and she has to live with the images of death and violence.  This brother was clearly a person out of control; it was alleged that he had some kind of a run-in with a neighbor the evening before as well.

        We have people who dont know how to resolve their personal problems…committing violence and killing innocent people.  We have loners, and mentally ill people who do not get treatment.   Our economy is so tight that those who desperately need mental health treatment do not get it because of cost.  We need to seriously consider spending more money for preventative well-care programs for people at risk for such behaviors.

      I would really like to see people stop supporting slasher/shoot them up shows and movies with their dollars.  These type of entertainments only serve to encourage those who are bent on venting their anger and revenge or for those who are mentally unstable on taking out their rage on innocent people.  How do you protect yourself and your loved ones from random violence?  It is impossible.   Is anyone else sick and tired of these things  happening in schools, shopping malls, nursing homes and colleges, etc?

       Ernest Raines is extremely worried and concerned that his 24 year old daughter has moved out of the residence that she shared with her previous boyfriend, and moved in with Drew Peterson the former police sergeant from Chicago. 

        Christina and Drew became engaged in December after becoming involved with one another approximately four months previous to that.  Drew has been considered a suspect, by many, in the  suspicious disappearance of his fourth wife Stacy at the end of October 2007.  Drew’s third wife , died under mysterious circumstances, in 2004, and that death has recently been classified as a homicide. 

        It is no wonder that Christina’s father Ernest is seriously concerned about his daughter’s well being considering the fact that 2 of Drew’s 4 wives have either gone missing or died under questionable circumstances.  Not only has Christina moved into Drew’s home; but , so have her very young children, ages 4 and 5. 

        Christina is a legal adult and is free to make her own choices regarding her personal life; even if she doesn’t believe that she is in some kind of danger.  However, she is the parent of two young children and it’s not good parenting to put them in the middle of a situation where they could possibly be in danger. 

          Parents across the nation have had their children removed from their custody for lesser reasons.  There are reports that the two young children’s birth father, Tony Yauk,  has allegedly been asking authorities how he goes about getting custody of those children.  If  I were in his position…I would do the very same thing. 

          If you are a parent who perceives that your children are in danger and you do nothing…that is considered failure to protect.  I would ask Christina if her relationship with Drew Peterson is worth the possible loss of custody of her biological children?  Shouldn’t your own flesh and blood come before any romantic relationship?  If  her relationship with Drew is so important to her …maybe she should consider relinquishing custody to the father of her children; or, maybe even to her own parents or relatives; if they are appropriate people to be caregivers.

         You also have to wonder about a woman who would start a relationship with a man who is 30 years older than her; who has also been the subject of much speculation regarding previous relationships.  How do you put those concerns aside and consider becoming his 5th wife and move your children into that environment?  What needs, of Christina’s, are being met by being romatically involved with Drew Peterson?  Why would Drew Peterson want more attention drawn to him after all of this time of scrutiny from the authorities and the media?

     In Brighton, Michigan starting January 17, 2009…the new ordinance will begin.  It will also be against the law to molest anyone, to insult them,  annoy or accost them.  Hmmm, one wonders about the potential limitations, of such of a law or ordinance.  Who decides what constitutes legal annoyance?  Will there be guidelines as to what is just a frustration, and what is over the top and prosecutable?

       All that i could think of when i heard about this was; that it was a good thing that the law was not viable in my own home between my children….everything they do annoys each other some days!    I can just see it in homes across the nation, can’t you?  Mom…make him/her stop…they won’t leave me alone…so and so took my seat…he/she is annoying me…Mooooooooooommmmmmmmmmm!!!  Good thing we don’t have to pay fines against annoying each other in families…don’t ya think?  I mean…really stop and think about this law…is it going to have a positive impact on the community of Brighton?

       It would seem like this type of law has unlimited potential for frivolous lawsuits by people with grudges against one another.   It has a price tag of a $500.00 fine; which is no small thing.   I think that the courts will eventually resent having every little dispute brought before the bench…but, the fee that the court would levy against those violating the new law would help them to overcome the inconvience and  resentment associated with enforcing such a new law.  What do you think…will this be something that catches on around the country?  Should it?  Does a law like this have the power to be abused?  Should there be some kind of written guidelines or consequences to prevent someone from fraudulently accusing innocent people?

       At least two of those offenses ended with him pleading guilty to obstruction of jutice & no contest to felonious assault.  He lied to the court…effectively tying the hands of the legal system, for most of the summer, by using his legal team to fight his removal from office.  Michigan’s Governor Granholm had to hold a hearing to forcibly remove him.  After that hearing he was heard to say, “You done set me up for a comeback”.  This arrogance and defiance moved the judge to sentence him to the full 120 day sentence; typically, a person who exhibits good behavior can shave approximately 20 days off of their sentence, not in Kilpatrick’s case.  The judge was clearly put out by the demeanor of the former mayor throughout this whole process.

        The thing is…if someone has been publically shamed by their private and professional behavior; and then, goes on to be legally chastized and still continues to mock and make light of the situation…you have to wonder if they have learned anything at all about how to conduct themselves appropriately.  Will spending this punnitive time in jail help Mr. Kilpatrick to re-evaluate the direction of his life? 

        The things that he has sacrificed by conducting his affair(s) and lying to the authorities and the court, thereby, possibly harming his relationship with his wife and children, having to give up his law license, as well as his freedom; should be counted as natural consequences for living outside the bounds of legal and moral responsibilities to those to whom he was supposed to be accountable to.  And yet, from reading accounts of yesterdays events…it sounds as though Mr. Kilpatrick mocked the prosecutors by saying things like, “I love you man” and asking them “How you doing?  Can’t even smile”?  This doesn’t bode well for learning from his mistakes. 

          Some people would say that his demeanor is encouraged by his supporters; such as those who observed the former mayor being led from the court room, who shouted encouragement to him such as “Be Strong, We got your back, We love you mayor”.  Will he have a political future when he is free to pursue such goals  Where is the accountability?

          After serving the 120 day sentence, Mr. Kilpatrick will also be on probation for 5 years, give up his law license, and repay the city of Detroit $1 million dollars.

         So I say, if you are going to spend 23 hours a day with someone…it might as well be someone you like alot.  Only 119 days to go, Mr. Kilpatrick.  The people that i truly feel sorry for is his wife and children.  I am sure they are suffering more than he is.  They have had to move out of their home, they have lost a large part of their financial support, and, they have to endure the publicity for their husband and father’s actions for a long time to come.  Should he be allowed to run for public office ever again with this legal black mark on his record?