There was a big backlash of people voicing concern, when the two sort of reconciled so soon after the incident of alleged abuse, because many felt that Rihanna was stepping into a role that many “victims” of domestic violence find themselves…one of an enabler.  Shortly thereafter, there was at least a public distance created between the two.  The silence has been deafning…meaning, that no one knows for sure what Rihanna will say in court.  Her lawyer allegedly says she will tell the truth about what happened. 

         This could mean jail for up to four years, for Chris Brown, if the perception of what happened is anywhere near the truth and, he is convicted of it.  Domestic violence/abuse is a serious crime with serious repercussions; people are hurt or killed everyday because of it.  If you know someone in this type of situation, please encourage them to reach out for help here:  http://www.ndvh.org/.  But please, if they are in trouble, have them access that site from a computer that the suspected abuser doesn’t have access to…because it can leave a trace on a home computer that the abuser could find; that could lead to more violence.  Taking the extra time for personal safety is important; volatile relationships can be unstable and if people in these circumstances don’t take precautions to get help safely, things can easily get out of control.

            This situation will be watched by many just because of who the two individuals are; successful young musicians who have a strong fan base…being in the public eye is somewhat of a heavy responsibility as far as being a role model.  This may be a role that neither of them wants.  Millions of people who are not in the public eye go through similar circumstances and it is difficult, at best, to deal with; both for themselves and for the people who love them.   

          Keep in mind, that both of these two celebrities have friends and family who will be affected by whatever happens today in court; they will be affected emotionally, personally, professionally, and socially.  Let’s try to keep  in mind that no matter the legal outcome; that both individuals need to get help to deal with whatever truly happened that night; and, that hopefully, they each never find themselves in this position again.   Patterns have a way of repeating themselves if people don’t get to the roots of the why domestic violence happened; that would be a double tragedy.   Healing takes time, maybe this is the first part of the journey!

UPDATE:   Chris Brown has accepted a plea deal.  More breaking news to come! 

         Chris has agreed to a plea deal that will require him to serve 5 years of probation time and 6 months of community labor…he will not serve jail time unless he violates the terms of his probation.   He must stay 50 yards from Rihanna unless he is at a business event then it is reduced to 10 yards.  He is being required to pay fines and to finish a year of domestic violence classes.  His community labor will be served in Virginia where he is from.  August 5 is the court day for his formal sentencing.    By pleading guilty to the felony charge, he will serve 4 years in jail if he violates the terms of his probation.  Make no mistake…this agreement is nothing to sneeze at.  In a world of celebrities, it is very easy to get into legal altercations with paparazzi or other celebs and it can turn violent at the drop of a hat…Chris Brown will have to avoid any situation that could appear to be in violation of his agreement with the court. 

      This is outrageous; children are very easily led by those in authority.  This child was a potential witness and was being interviewed as such.  The officers allegedly said to the child, what if we had someone who ‘saw’ something?  Then, when a series of questions was put to the child and he was led to say that he ‘might’ have shot the gun that day, then he might have shot his father, then he might have shot the friend…before long he was shooting the gun that day and he didn’t know…if maybe he shot his father.  You see what i am saying…this line of questioning was done without an adult advocate for the child being present.

       There was no attorney in the room who represented the child…there was no parent present (father was killed…but the child had a mother who lived out of state) there was no friend or clergy present…no teacher…no person who could stop the interview when it allegedly (and in my opinion was) turned into coersion to get the child to confess to murder.  This is an 8 year old child.  Clearly, he was anxious, fearful and wanting to give them answers…he was wanting to be pleasing to the authority figures in the room so that the questions would stop.  Whether he is guilty of murder or not…this is not how questioning should have been conducted.

        Even if it is true that this child committed murder (it would indeed be a terrible thing)…the case will probably be thrown out because the ‘evidence on tape’ was done without the child being read his rights/and in lieu of not being able to comprehend his miranda rights (or to have anyone unbiased explain it to him)…there was no adult advocate present to prevent him from implicating himself in the taped ‘confession’.  What if this child confessed to a crime that he did not commit?

        This is a huge problem in our court system.  People who conduct police interviews with children, or with people who are disabled/special needs….should be required to have special training.  It is very easy to lead a person to ‘confess’ to a crime when they are being questioned by a person who is viewed as an authority figure when they are at a disadvantage intellectually (disabled) or if they are not of an age of understanding…a young minor child.

          This case will have long term repercussions in the legal system; as it should.  It was an outrageous abuse of power and the impact on police procedures should be addressed.  What do you think of this situation?  You can watch part of this interview on cnn.  http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/11/19/boy.confession.tactics/index.html#cnnSTCVideo

        Everyone has been asking Caylee’s mother Casey Anthony where is Caylee.  She has told a multitude of stories.  So far, none of those stories has led to where Caylee is.  There has been evidence of a cadaver in the trunk of the car that Casey Anthony was driving.  There is a neighbor who allegedly said that Casey borrowed a shovel.  There are the lies upon lies from Casey..that lead to nowhere.  Casey accused a woman that she doesn’t know of kidnapping Caylee…Casey said that the woman was her nanny and lived in an apartment that turned out to be unoccupied.  Casey had never met the woman.  There is evidence that Casey Anthony investigated websites on chloroform and on missing children.  There is sufficient reason to suspect that Caylee’s mother at the very least knows what happened to her child…if in fact, she didn’t cause harm to the child herself.

         Casey’s father allegedly testified before the grand jury against his daughter today.  Casey and her child Caylee lived with the grandparents before Caylee became missing.  Casey’s own brother said that she told him at one point that she hadn’t even seen Caylee in 31 days, at the beginning of the investigation.  That is telling, when a parent appears unconcerned about the well-being of their only child.

           It is a terrible thing to have to take a side against your own child…even if it is an adult child.   The thing is, at one time, it appeared that the grandmother confronted Casey about her suspicions…then seemed to backtrack according to media accounts.  Then she appeared to justify the smell in the trunk of the car as old pizza smells.  You have to wonder, how does the testimony today affect Casey’s parents marriage.   I wonder if the whole family is in agreement about what has to be done.  If they too suspect Casey in little Caylee’s disappearance.  However, if they question Casey; and it is in protection of their grandchild…i think it is painful; but, morally correct.  The adult child can make their own decisions…get themselves out of harm’s way…but a child does not have that option.  A child is dependent upon their adult caregivers to protect them. 

         I feel horribly for those in Caylee’s family who very likely feel torn inside…choosing to side with the police in the suspicion of their own daughter (or sister) in the disappearance of their grandchild.  However, Casey has brought this upon herself by not telling the truth and acting disconnected from the one person in the whole wide world that she should be most natually connected with…her own child.  Caylee is a beautiful child.  She deserves to be found.  She deserves to live a life of a carefree child…wallowing in the love and affection of her grandparents, friends and neighbors.  Do you think Caylee is alive?  If not, do you think she will ever be found? 

Breaking news:  There has been an indictment today in the case.  The nineteen member grand jury has sealed the indictment, until the person is arrested.  Casey Anthony’s lawyer said if his client is the person that has been indicted…she will turn herself in.  Little Caylee has been missing since the middle of June.  Even more news….It definately was Casey Anthony that was indicted.  She is being charged with…aggravated child abuse, providing false information to the police-authorities, and aggravated manslaughter.

  Casey’s lawyer says that she may represent herself with an advisor…representing herself allows her to have money to have state investigators to work on the case.  That seems unfair to me; unless, she is innocent of the charges…but…public opinion seems to find that improbable.  Casey’s father said at the time of his granddaughter’s disappearance…Casey was acting unusual.  Casey’s lawyer allegedly says that when they are allowed to speak everyone will understand.  Haven’t the authorities offered up plenty of opportunities for Casey and her lawyer to speak?  Sometimes i don’t understand the criminal justice system.

          I mean,  i am not in any way associated with the legal system, but the way i understand it; lawyers are officers of the court.  As officers of the court, aren’t they obligated to uphold the law?   I thought as officers of the court they were held to a higher standard of behavior or conduct.   If they do in fact violate the law, should they then be allowed to practice the law in the future or should they be disbarred?   Would anyone actually use the services of a lawyer who had been charged with multiple felonies, even if they were not prosecuted because they accepted a deal instead of being convicted?

        I ask, because there is some speculation that behind the scenes wrangling, in Michigan of the Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick case, in some reporting or comments that i have read are suggesting that he may be holding out on making some kind of deal; that would allow him to keep his law license and maybe even avoid jail time. 

         I don’t know if that is possible with 10 felony charges against him at the moment; although, i read that there was a plea deal offered to him and his legal team last week friday.  The offer was, to have one of the felony assault charges against him dropped; if, he were to agree to resign before Sept 3.   So far, no resignation has been announced; although, there has been plenty of pressure applied by a variety of people through the media.  This whole political mess is making history…but, it is a sad history for the state Michigan and for the future of one of the largest cities in Michigan.

         For those readers who have not been following this case, Sept 3 is when Govenor Jennifer Granholm will be conducting a hearing on whether Mayor Kilpatrick should be removed from his position for misconduct.   What do you think on this issue? 

         As all of this was happening, the other bus occupants left the bus for their safety.  An officer reported seeing some of the horrifying actions of Vince Li.  He was arrested and has gone before a judge who asked him if he wanted a lawyer.  He supposedly shook his head and said, “Please Kill Me”.

          Killing him would be all too easy.  Yes, I am sure there are many who wish that to be his punnishment.  Even if that is the end result, it is not going to be that easy.  There will be a process for Li that takes time.  You don’t request death and it is done instantly through legal proceedings.  It is not going to be that easy for Li.  He will have a long time to relive the horror that he perpetrated.  Over and over again, he will be tortured by memories of what he did. 

         So far, not much is known about the Chinese immigrant; except that he worked as a janitor for a church when he arrived in 2004.  He evidently didn’t display any aggressive or violent behavior previously, even on the bus earlier on the trip.  Others who rode the bus said he appeared normal until the attack on the victim, Tim McLean.  Why and how did he choose his victim?  An early report said the attack happened after an earlier stop that allowed Vince Li and others to have a smoke break; a young woman was also taking a smoke break.  Why not her or someone else?  There were 37 people on board, he had many to choose from.  How does a person protect themselves from becoming a victim of a perfect stranger?  There are so many questions that linger. 

         From all accounts, Tim McLean was merely sleeping with his head against a window.  Vince Li actually changed seats to sit by Tim McLean.  What was going through his mind?  It is horrible to contemplate the whys and what fors.

         The riders and the bus driver were able to somehow close the bus doors, keeping him on the bus.  However, when he was arrested, Li apparently kept saying that he must remain on the bus forever.  I am sure in his heart and mind…he will forever be trapped on that bus, wishing that he had left that bus the same as he entered it…as a non- killer. 

         What possesses a person to kill and canabalize another human being???  I am sure there is some psychological diagnosis; and, even some who would have a spiritual label to attach to such a person…lay people just call it sick.  Regardless, he caused a young man’s death, he scarred people’s minds with the memories of his actions and he left Tim McLean’s family and friends traumatized.  Should Vince Li be granted death as a punishment for the horror that he committed?

         The man allegedly kept his daughter on a leash like an animal in that basement for the first nine months or so.  Then, over the 24 years, he fathered 7 children with her.  One of those children died days after birth and he put it’s body into the furnace.  He ”allowed”  3 of the children to be raised by himself and the grandmother; she believed her daughter ran off to join a cult when she was 18 and couldn’t care for the children.

         The man was convicted of raping another woman when Elisabeth was about to be born.  He served time for that offense about 18 months.  After that time…he had been planning this dungeon with evil intent.

          The lawyer claims that Josef is an emotionally broken man…and many would say, why should we care?  We should care because this man is someone who could be studied to deconstruct the mind of someone so hideously mis-wired as to do this kind of harm to his own flesh and blood.  We can learn alot from the workings of his mind; so that we could hopefully prevent this kind of tragedy from ever happening to another human being.

         If they let this man off from serving the rest of his days in a prison somewhere because of his “brokeness” then, there is no justice.  He has destroyed the lives of so many people.  Elisabeth and her children will forever struggle just to heal from this scarring of their minds and bodies.  Josef does not deserve to live out his remaining time on earth in a mental hospital. 

         We should care that he is broken only out of respect for those lives that he tried to destroy and control.  They deserve to know that he is serving his time in a prison that he cannot escape from…just as he sentenced them when he was in control.   I pray that somehow…they are able to heal enough to have some joy in life. 

         I must say that i am inspired by Elisabeth’s courage to survive all of those years.  To care for her children the best that she could.  Even now, she helped the authorities by going back into that place where he kept her imprisoned to help them to know more about this horror she lived for 24 years.  May God bless her and the family.

          The young girl’s name is Nojoud Nasser.  Her father told her that she must marry this man or she would be raped; and, no one would help her.  She refused and he beat her.  She was not able to stop the marriage.  This was not a joyous occasion; she did not wish this marriage. 

           After two months of marriage and being chased around the man’s home and abused…Nojoud escaped.  She was able to find her way to a courthouse, where by the grace of God, she was able to get a lawyer, named Shatha Nasser, to help her.  May God bless Shatha Nasser and the work she is doing to help young girls like Nojoud.

           Someone annoymously donated the money needed to pay her dowry, and her divorce fee, to end her marriage.  She is probably the youngest divorced person at the age of 8.  Nojoud is now living with her uncle.  She plans to return to school; however, will she be able to go back to being just a young innocent girl?  No…and that is the problem…she will have to spend a lifetime healing the emotional wounds. 

            I understand that different cultures have different customs…but, forcing a child into marriage is not right.  Here in America, we are going through a difficult time trying to figure out who was abused and coeorced into marriage in the recent raid on a Fundalmentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints sect who practice polygamy with women under the age of 18, allegedly.  Around the world these things happen, but when they do…it is our responsibility to stand up and say it is not only wrong…but, we will take measures to protect those who cannot protect themselves.

            It is inhuman to treat young girls as if they are adult women.  They should never be forced to get married and have adult relations with a man.  It is cruel.  Children should be allowed to have a childhood.  I can not understand a parent, who would not only condone this type of marriage; but, also force a young child to be married, knowing that the child would be forced into a sexual relationship.

            It is time that some human rights organizations get involved in protecting the rights of children when it is understood that some cultures allow this type of treatment. Organizations such as Human Rights Watch have goals in place to help children who are being mistreated.  http://www.hrw.org/children/about.htm

         Most nursing homes are good ones.  They care for their patients and they do it lovingly.  Family members are encouraged to be part of the environment.  They are included in the treatment, care and decision making regarding their loved one.  Most nursing homes treat family with respect.  Most people who get into the medical profession do it with pride and passion; they care deeply for those who come to them in need.

          There are, unfortunately, some care facilities or individuals that don’t provide that same level of care; it is hard to know the difference until you have a loved one involved.  No one wants to find out that the home their loved one is in, is one of the homes with a poor record of safety.

         From the fall at the first nursing home her arm was broken.  She died within days.  The second nursing home took very good care of her.  The first nursing home denied any wrong doing.  They said that she got injured when she got out of her “electric hospital bed”.  This supposedly happened with a broken hip.  It was a falsehood because her bed was a crank bed.  The mother told her daughter that she was afraid.  She didn’t want to stay because “she didn’t want them to drop her like they did before”.  This was a quote from the patient.  The staff denied any such incident happened.

       Luckily, my friend didn’t believe the staff that told her the falsehoods.  She tried to get answers to her questions.

       From the fall she had at the nursing home…my friend’s mother was covered in bruises so bad that she had them all over her back and her front; plus the broken arm.  When her mother died…my friend followed her instincts and had a medical examiner check her mother out.  They took pictures.  Documentation is always very important in these situations.

         The medical examiner told the family that there was no way that she could have gotten out of a bed with that broken hip.  She couldn’t have broken her arm by getting out of bed because, she wouldn’t have been able to put any weight on that hip.  He said that her injuries were not caused by a mere fall. 

           It was just a matter of days between her fall at home; and then, the injuries that she incurred at the nursing home.  The medical examiner wrote a letter with his findings.

        Adult protective services were contacted but they said that the charts were up to date at the alleged negligent nursing home and therefore, there was no documentation that there was any dropping incident.  No, they said that my friends suspicions were wrong.  They said that was the end of it.

         My friend grieved the loss of her mother.  Still, she was feeling that things were not right.  So she contacted a lawyer and got an investigation going.  It has now come to light, that the nursing home has finally admitted that my friend’s mother was indeed dropped.  By following her instincts, she proved that her suspicions were correct. 

         So, it was a terrible thing that this happened.  My friend lost her mother needlessly.  However, her instincts told her that even though her mother had some dementia…her fear was justified. 

         Her mother had been improperly cared for.  The records may have been doctored.  The family was told falsehoods.  Responsibility had not been taken.  What’s more…how often was this happening to others in their facility?  No one was believing that there were problems until this happened.

         The first nursing home is now being required to make changes in their facility(within 30 days) that will help to prevent this from happening to another family.  They will have to notify my friend of their reports and of the changes.  It won’t bring my friend’s mother back…but, it may help to prevent another family from having to go through a similar experience. 

         God gave us instincts for a reason; we have to learn to listen to them and follow up.  I am proud of my friend and her dedication to her mother.

          If you have a loved one in a nursing home and you have had incidents/accidents that aren’t explained fully; you can contact an ombudsman at the administration on aging.  Their website is:  http://www.aoa.gov/