That show, called Two and a Half Men, has stopped production on their show for the rest of the season; since Charlie has made a public statement on interviews that disparages the producers of the show, television show creator Chuck Lorre, Alcoholic Anonymous, his ex wife, and women in general.   He says horribly vile things about Chuck Lorre and shows nothing but contempt for women, in my opinion, when he says things about women such as he has fame and those women have nothing and that all they will ever have is that night with him and that he will forget about them as soon as they leave.  He says that he is “special” and will never be one of the AA because they are a “bootleg cult”.  Seriously? 

It comes across through many of these examples that he considers himself above everyone else.  He believes that he alone cured his (in his opinion) so called disease with his own mind.  He has made recent statements to the fact that he is in control of his partying.   The truth of the matter is that he couldn’t be more wrong.  He has been in legal trouble for alleged domestic violence, he has had custody issues with his ex-wife who does try to support him in public while at the same time  tries to shield their daughters from the horror of these out of control antics that are harming him physically, emotionally, spiritually,professionally, and financially. His young sons with his second wife are very young…but they will grow up with the legacy of their father’s public displays as well.

People who work with individuals who struggle with addictions will give you all of the facts on how addicts fool themselves into thinking that they are “in control” and the rest of the world is the one with a problem.  Charlie may not live on the streets, he might not be homeless, he might not be stealing to support his habits…but he is in denial about his lifestyle choices and the effect that it is having on those who care about him (meaning his friends and family).

He has children that are growing up; and they are now, and will continue to be affected by his behavior and the choices that he makes.  He has a famous brother Emilio Estevez and then of course, there is his father Martin Sheen they have stepped up and said they continue to love him, support him and pray for him.  He has ex-wives who love him enough to try to work through their issues to maintain some sort of relationship for their children. Who can help an adult who is in a situation such as this? Can he be forced to get help through an emergency order? Is he having some sort of emotional breakdown or is he just acting out because of the damage caused by his partying?  He appears to feel all powerful and that no one has the right to tell him no, or draw a line in the sand regarding his conduct.   He has fans that he asks to support him; even though he is acting in ways that are hard to support.  He wants them to help him fight against the injustice of it all…saying that his fans are his people…not “theirs”.

In response, to the decision of his show stopping production, he slams the powers that be for stopping it…saying that they are keeping money from him, his family, and the crew of the show.   In my opinion however, if they continued to produce the show they would be irresponsible…enablers of a man who seems to be bent on self-destruction.  A week or two ago, there were articles that claimed that Charlie said that he only partied when he was bored and not working.  When he was working, he says, he was fine.   There are consequences to behaviors…and recent pictures of him show him possibly having had his teeth affected by his conduct.

Relationships suffer, professional connections become damaged and finances can become scarce because of a persons addictions.  In his case, this doesn’t just affect Charlie…he has a whole crew that is going to suffer consequences because of this situation.   A professional intervention needs to happen, because even though he says he is clean…that doesn’t mean he is stable.   I say, if he isn’t careful to get medical help, put his rehab knowledge and education to heart, and live addiction free…he is going to be bored to DEATH; and, we will be reading Charlie’s very sad obituary.

That would be a terrible waste of life; how much better to see him find his way to health and wellness and use his experience to help others in the same situation?  People who do not have fame, fortune or money deal with addictions too and the consequences are no less severe for them or their loved ones.

What are your thoughts? Do you love someone who struggles with addictions?  What have you done to survive the ups and downs?  Where did you find help?

With the economic disasters of the last decade, there are more people out on the street because they have been uprooted by a sudden change in their finances.  Military veterans often struggle with a return to civilian life and end up homeless.   Runaways also can end up homeless after they have run through the willingness of their friends and family to allow them to couch surf for a period of time.  Sometimes a runaway situation is by choice and sometimes it is out of a need for survival that they leave home.   Again, people become homeless for a variety of reasons; and, it doesn’t have to be a permanent situation.  People living on the street can also become a victim of violence, crime, or intimidation.   Homelessness can be a reaction to a temporary situation in a person’s life.   It does not have to mean a hopeless situation.

Ted Williams says that for the better part of 15 years he was homeless and living on the streets because of his addictions.  Turning his life around and getting sober allowed him to have  a dream.   Growing up he had a desire to get into broadcasting for a career.  The addictions took him on another path.  Recently, he stood along the roadway with a handwritten sign proclaiming that he had a God given voice.  A video was made of him by a reporter as he panhandled alongside the road; that video of him using his God given voice went viral.  Since that time, he has had a whirlwind couple of days with job offers inundating him.  He has the potential of seeing his aging mother who lives in Brooklyn, New York while he is doing all of these interviews with the major news networks.  This opportunity to reconnect mother and son is an answer to both of their prayers.  They both have said that they prayed to see him doing well again in life before she passed away. Their faith was rewarded by this reaction to the viral video.

I am sure that there are families all around the country with that same desire; to see their sons/daughters/fathers/mothers restored to a good place in life.  This feel good story of Ted Williams could be true for many more people who are homeless.  Ted has had an offer to work for the Cleveland Cavaliers and have a home again.  How many other people that are presently homeless have hopes and dreams that could come true if someone took notice of them on the street and didn’t dismiss them as hopeless?  it would be great if all of these opportunities being offered to Ted could be spread around to help others in the same situation.

Don’t get me wrong…I love this story about Ted Williams.  I am happy for him and his family.  I just can’t help thinking about the countless others who are still stuck on the street; caught up in drugs, alcohol, prostitution/human trafficking, or in an emotional/physical prison.   Illegal activities often become a way of life when there is no steady income from a job.   We need to focus some solutions to the problem on helping people to turn their lives around and become happy, healthy and productive individuals again.  Look at what a little positive attention has done for Ted Williams and imagine the same effect on those that you pass on the street in the same predicament any other day of the week.   How can you help?  Donate time, food, blankets, money or your skills to those who work with the homeless.  Employ them or help to educate someone; direct them to a safe shelter or to a counseling program which may be able to help them get back on their feet.  Try to shed a little light into the dark corners of the world where people don’t often feel worthy of a better life!

       For once in recent months, she is not at the mercy of someone else out to make news headlines from standing on top of her tragic connection to the negative headlines concerning her husband’s alleged infidelities.   I am sure this is not how she originally planned to announce her son’s birth; however,  it is good to have a bright light in this situation…Sandra’s celebration of her new life with her son.

        Sandra who is known for her clean and loving image and reputation has been dealt a raw deal by those alleged mistresses and their stories that they’ve shared in the media.  Their public claims of “sorry for the mess” carries little weight, I am sure.  Their requests for one- on- one time with her to discuss their “relationships” with Sandra’s husband…should not be given the time of day.  Sandra owes them no such gesture.  

       All along, Sandra has kept her peace and her dignity.  Not easy to do with some of the muck that was published.  However, Sandra is now voicing the fact that she is divorcing her husband, and also sharing the joy of her leap into single motherhood.  She has the finances and the support systems to be able to parent quite well as a single mother.  She will not face many of the challenges that many other single mothers face and that is a blessing.   The dissolution of her marriage is a tragedy…leave her alone to heal on that.   Allow her to celebrate and enjoy the things that bring happiness to her and her loved ones; for once, don’t pick at what should be a private family event.

        The People article speaks of the fact that Sandra and Jesse were adopting her son Louis together in January.  Then came the Oscars…they were waiting until that event was over to announce the adoption of their son.  We all know that a week after the Oscars the headlines gleefully announced the assault on Sandra’s marriage.  Women came out of the wood-work to share the gory details of their encounters with Jesse James.  Sandra moved out of the home she shared with her husband and his children from former relationships.   The tabloids took joy in following up one lurid headline after another…and it is unfortunate that there is a huge market for selling such newspapers on the backs of other people’s pain and misery.  It doesn’t speak well of our culture to have such an environment for our children to grow up in, in my opinion.

          She kept quiet in the media, except to declare the fact that an alleged sex tape did not exist.  That had to be painful enough to have to address something related to the horror of those stories; still, now it is easy to understand why she made the statement.  It was to distance herself from being tainted with the poor choices of those who brought down her marriage.  She was not reponsibile for making such personally devastating choices with her own behavior; even though allegedly her husband and those who had physical relationships with him are.  Sandra should not be held accountable for their actions nor should she suffer the loss of her son because of them.  By stating that there was no sex tape with her in it…she was standing tall and distancing herself from the immoral activity that was affecting her because of her association with it just by being married to Jesse. 

        I can imagine the fear and despair she felt as a new adoptive parent.   She had to have been fearful that the agencies that approved her adoption process would rightfully question whether that adoption should be finalized.  It is every adoptive parents concern that “something” will happen to derail an adoption and tear apart a parent-child relationship that has formed.  

        The headlines screamed all kinds of concern about the stability of Sandra and Jesse’s relationship at this point.  It would only be right of those concerned about the welfare of a child to want to know how that would impact Sandra’s son.  Remember, courts have to insure the best interests of the child; that is a big responsibility.   But, for most adoptive parents, any concerns an agency or court would have would normally be addressed privately…not in the media.   No adoptive parent wants something to come into play that would jepardize their blossoming relationship with their child or perhaps end their quest to come together as parent and child.

          For those who have no relationship with adoption, you should know that adoptive parents often live with others putting their parenting under the microscope.   People in general feel that it is ok to voice their input about an adoptive parent should or should not do in regards to parenting their child.  In Sandra’s case, she was a victim of circumstance and timing.  Jesse made those choices and Jesse has to address those issues within himself.  

        Jesse went off to rehab…and allegedly left rehab…only to return.  In the meantime, I am sure the behind the scenes details continued to be worked out in regards to the adoption.   Strength and courage in the face of challenges comes from a person’s internal character.  It doesn’t make the devastation any less with the dissolution of a marriage…however, I am sure that Sandra’s relationship with her friends and family will help her to heal. 

          I would caution readers to remember that there are many “innocent” people in these situations from in-laws to friends and neighbors.  They all suffer when these things happen; that is both the beauty and the pain of having deep personal relationships with others.   With the announcement that Sandra is now adopting her son as a single parent and stating that the adoption is no longer including Jesse, the concerns about stability and appropriateness should now be eliminated.   Louis will be loved, protected, and cared for and that is the goal of adoption.  It is all life changing news that Sandra “chose” to share with People magazine. 

        Congratulations Sandra Bullock on the adoption of your son.  May you have a long, healthy & happy life together as mother and son.  No matter what happens with your marriage, I hope that you are able to continue having a loving and supportive relationship with Jesse’s children.   They will need that and so will you. 

         Life gets so complicated sometimes and the innocent are often caught up in the ripples of negativity from the actions of others.  Sandra has been a constant in Jesse’s children’s life for quite a few years now…hopefully that can continue.  I am sure that the older children have begun to bond with Louis as well…may peace and love be yours once again.  Oh and by the way, let me be the first to say, Happy Mother’s Day in a couple weeks!

       It was said that Michael left a note saying that he planned to kill himself because of his depression.  He said it made him feel like he had no friends and didn’t fit in.   This is so tragic; he was only 18.  Michael is one of Marie and her ex-husband Brian Blonsil’s eight children.  He was adopted as well as several of the other children.  It has not been revealed to the public what sort of issues that Michael had been dealing with over the years…and maybe it should never be information for the public to know.  Those issues were private…and even though some of the Osmonds are very public people…they have a right to privacy as they grieve.

       I do know that when you are an adoptive family, you often live under a microscope.  People feel free to judge or to freely give advice on raising those children to the parents who have chosen to add them to their family.   It adds a level of interferrence in the raising of adopted children who are being grafted or blended into an existing family.  This is sometimes no easy feat; especially if the children happen to be a bit older when the adoption takes place.  I can only imagine how much more difficult the situation is when there is fame involved with the adoptive family.

        Depression is a big challenge and unless you have some personal relationship with the issue…it can be hard to understand.   However, Marie herself struggled with post partum depression after giving birth to one of her children.  It can severely affect not only the individual who struggles with it…but anyone who loves them.   It is important to get help if you are dealing with depression.  Many people don’t realize how serious it can be.  Sometimes depression is a chemical imbalance and medication can help; other times, other therapies can be helpful.  Talk to a health professional right away if you or someone you care about is struggling with depression.

        I can only hope that the media will respect this family as they try to deal with the loss of Michael.  Suicide leaves a lot of damage for the survivors left behind.   There will need to be some major healing time for this family.   May God help them all.

       Please, if you are someone who struggles with depression or suicidal thoughts; or, you know someone who is…please seek immediate help by checking out this site:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  or by contacting a health care professional.

Bullying is more complicated these days because of the way in which it is done; it is psychological, it is persistent, and it can include threats, violence, or even sexual threats.  Most people over the age of 40 remember the school bully…you know the one.  He/She was the person who everyone feared and gave a wide berth to just because he sought out and picked on those he/she knew for a fact that they could take on and win.  We all have had some relationship to that kind of person.   However, now it seems that there is a group mentality when bullying or persistent harassment starts up.

  Back when i was growing up you had one of two options…ignore that person and stay far away from them or “stand up to them” and work up your courage to go toe to toe.  Remember the childhood phrase that we were all taught…sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you?  That couldn’t be farther from the truth; we all know that words have the power to destroy a person’s self-worth and the value of that person in the eyes of others.

Everyday it seems that we hear about another child/teen/college student that has been bullied or cyber stalked and trash talked about.  Many of those cases either end in a suicide or a violent attack or even in some cases of extreme bullying…a retribution plan of attack on a school with a violent outburst.  Lives are ruined, hearts and minds are damaged; many individuals end up in prison because of bullying.

 A real danger is people who think that bullying is a normal part of growing up…it isn’t and it should not ever be allowed.  Making excuses and telling a victim of such behavior to just ignore it is equal to nullifying their experience with bullying…which in effect tells them that they are powerless to change their circumstance in a positive way.

There is a hopelessness about our young people.   Many of them, in a desperate need to feel something, are self mutilating, becoming promiscuous,  developing eating disorders, or diving into the world of drug/alcohol addictions in reaction to their feelings about themselves and their lack of proper treatment by others.   They have been conditioned to think that nothing is going to change for the better; so they feel angry, bitter, broken and depressed.

 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it doesn’t affect you, your children, your grandchildren, or the children in your church or neighborhood.  It does; and things are getting desperate.  Kids feel threatened, they feel demeaned and they feel powerless…so, many of them will arm themselves and things escalate quickly.   This is good for no one.

Respect for themselves as well as others is important to fight bullying.  Finding mentors for our young people is helpful…getting involved in sports or extra curricular activities that give them an appropriate sense of pride in themselves and their involvement.  Community service that gives them a sense of personal value and connects them to others who recognize their strengths and talents.  Inspiring hope and promise for a future is what kids need.  Instead, we often find that our young people aren’t getting those important messages about themselves.

With all of the new technology, kids are able to be “connected” 24 hours a day to not only their friends; but also, to people who wish them harm.  This connection includes cell phones, cell phone pictures, texts, email, chat lines, websites and forums.   Kids live in the midst of a multi-media blitz in their lives in school and at home.  Pay attention to them closely; watch for any changes in behavior, attitude, relationships and moods.  It could be life and death-for them and anyone who is in their lives, personally and socially.

Don’t think, not my child, not my child’s friend or the kids in my youth group.  I’ve worked with kids most of my adult life; for well over 30 years and things have broken down.  Kids, even good ones have low self esteem, they are depressed, frightened and angry.   Many of them don’t feel loved (even when they are), they don’t feel valued, appreciated or listened to.  They feel trapped and alone or isolated…even when they are surrounded by friends and activities.  It is a recipe for disaster not to recognize the patterns or seeds of destruction.

In truth, it makes you want to build a fortress around them to protect them against those who seek them out to do them harm.  So what can a parent, an educator, a spiritual leader, a friend, or a sibling do to help those caught in the web of persistent bullying/stalking?

First of all, pay attention.  Listen closely, monitor things…set limits of exposure online.  Talk to them and their friends about situations of bullying in their school or social networks.  Document any kind of negative interaction…write it down, talk to the school administration, file a report, alert teachers, bus drivers, neighborhood watches to any kind of bullying or violent situations that may come up.  Create a network of awareness and prevention where you can.  Ask your school to bring in safety experts and relationship experts who are trained in these areas of concern. 

Expect there to be resistence from the powers that be.  Many of them will give lip service to the no tolerance rule of bullying…but never, EVER, let them talk you out of filing official reports or grievances.   Often a school will just expell a student for a short time as a discipline…never following up with corrective action such as counseling or conflict resolution.   Leadership must establish methods of dealing with this type of behavior in a constructive way. 

For the victims of bullying or school violence… it may be helpful to have some self-defense training, some skilled training about paying attention to their surroundings and who is in their direct physical environment; making judgement calls about making decisions about where to go and with whom.   Get restraining orders or personal orders of protection if you feel it is something necessary to the physical and emotional well-being of the victim.     In some cases, change schools or even in extreme cases…it is best to even move or send them to live with a relative temporarily-especially if there is gang involvement.   This is no small thing to overcome and you do not want a victim of bullying/violence to become a prisoner to fear in their everyday life.

Does that sound like an over-reaction?  I can assure you that it is not; don’t believe me?  Watch the news, listen to a mother or a father that has lost a child to school violence or bullying; they would do anything if they could go back and do something different.   Or maybe listen to the child who in reaction to the bullying, who took matters into his/her own hands and tried to retaliate only to end up in prison for years or for life.  That ought to convince you that taking drastic measures to protect your child or your family is a good thing.  You see, persistent bullying often spreads and becomes a contagious thing…affecting other family members or sometimes even others in the neighborhood.   It is serious, but things can be done to improve the situation; get good advice from law enforcement or safety experts on the matter.

Ok, remember that I mentioned that some of you wouldn’t make it this far because you think it doesn’t affect you.  These young people who are traumatized, or trained to protect themselves emotionally by closing off normal pathways of emotion, are going to grow up.  They are going to become doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers and nursing home supervisors, counselors and so on.

If their standards of what is acceptable, in relation to inappropriate levels of behavior have been damaged, are you going to want them caring for your grandchildren in day care, or taking care of one of your loved ones in a hospital or nursing home setting?  If they have learned to accept that kind of treatment in their own life, they surely won’t recognize it as inappropriate behavior in relation to others like yourself.  

Please, love on the youth today build them up and help them to be strong individuals in a healthy way; care for them, listen to them, protect them through legal channels and through school policies.  You won’t regret being proactive in the name of what is right!

        For a man who until now has lead a pretty private life in the public eye…he has gained more attention in the last week, than he has ever wanted.  Yet, just days ago…he put out a muddled attempt to squash the rumors from the media microscope by admitting to transgressions and sins.  He claims to not being true to the values and behaviors that his family deserves.  That sounds like an admission of some of the rumors; however, it is not clear and it is damaging to be assuming anything.  However, it is not enough for some people to hear that vagueness.  They want intimate details in the tabloid society that we live in.  That is harmful to all involved.

        His wife’s actions regarding the accident were questioned.  More rumors swirl about renogotiating prenups and the like.  Women coming out of the woodwork alledging affairs with Tiger.  People in his sphere of a social life in Vegas claim that he lived his life there in ways that made people wonder if he was being more than friendly with pretty women; whether he was or not.

         At least one of the women that the tabloids accused of having an affair with Tiger has denied it and hired an attorney to represent her.  She was going to give a press conference and then it was suddenly cancelled.  One of the other somen supposedly has proof of the alledged affair. 

          One thing is for sure, this is a situation that has people by the throats.  Some are interested because Tiger is notoriously private…as well is his wife, about their life.  Others just like to have their nose in someone else’s business.  Still others, have suspected ulterior motives.  Then, there are those who make jokes at the expense of those involved.

            Really and truly, no one has a right to know these personal and private details except those who are directly involved.  If it is true, then there is a family that is damaged and will either survive with great effort or be destroyed by the fall out.  There are young children involved who will someday grow up and read what is written.   A wife who may or may not have known about these alledged rumored and or factual affairs.  For those who are innocent in this situation, I would hope that people would respect them. 

           It is a terrible thing to witness a family in crisis.  If he in fact had these affairs, Tiger and his wife Elin will have to work their way through it.  If there truly are women involved intimately…then, they will have to all be dealing with the after-effects.  There are physical things to consider such as diseases, stress, depression…feelings of self-esteem and self-worth.  Jobs could be at stake.  Reputations lost; and role models such as Tiger can do alot of harm to those younger people who look to sports figures and celebrities as someone to aspire to.

        A few years ago, Tiger lost his father…who was, in many ways, his mentor and his rock.  A man who has achieved as much in his area of  sports expertise, as Tiger has in the field of golf knows how to work hard and stay focused.  If he truly values his family and his marriage…he will take the time to focus on repairing the damage that has been done in the last week personally, professionally and spiritually.   Failure does not rest easy on someone who is so driven to perfect himself in some areas of his life.  Whatever failures he has apologised for creating regarding his values and his behaviors he can overcome…as long as his wife, family, friends, and business relationships are willing to heal. 

        I say, wish them well, get out of their way…and pray for them all.  This is not a science project to be studied under a microscope; this is not entertainment…it is real people, who have real lives, and real important things to lose.  Does the public really need to know every last detail; shouldn’t it be dealt with in private?

          However, if they become disillusioned/free of that belief or stand; they have in other words switched sides and are convinced that they were wrong in their original position of belief.  For every argument or discussion, they have a response to their opposition’s point of view because they have defended or stood up for each point of discussion on the other side.   It is sort of like arguing with yourself, inside your head when you are weighing a decision.    When you finally decide what is the correct point of view, it becomes the one that you most effectively communicate to others because you have DECIDED the issue in your own mind first! 

          So, for those who have been a strong, vocal voice say in the realm of spiritual discussions such as atheism over a belief in God and have switched sides; they are much more persuasive in their discussions with other atheists.   Or, say for example a political representative for one party over another suddenly switches sides…they become a powerful tool to their former political opponents because they have inside information on how the other party approached certain issues or subjects and even how they operated as an organization.   Even the media sits up and takes notice if a politician switches sides on an issue or political affiliation.

         Now this morning I read, with interest, a news item about a woman who worked for eight years as a director for a Planned Parenthood clinic.  She for years defended the right of women to seek services at her clinic and to even have abortions if it was the decision that they made that was considered to be in their best interest.  She was a very strong voice for pro-choice issues.    She hinted that while Planned Parenthood is a multi-service organization which helps families to handle their reproductive health and educates them, there is not much money in the education portion of the business.

         The lucrative side of the business comes from performing abortions, according to Abby Johnson’s statements.  She said she was getting internal, personal pressure to increase the clinics profitability.   What seemed to change her opinion on pro-choice beliefs to one of  a vocal stance of  pro-life  is when she witnessed, for the first time the actual death of a fetus on an ultra sound monitor as the baby was vacuumed out of it’s mother’s body. 

        It doesn’t get any more real than watching a baby’s body dissolve into pieces when it was moments before a connected living creature inside of it’s mother’s womb.  Abortion is destructive to the life of the child as well as potentially destructive to the emotional, physical and spiritual well-being of the mother.  Often the opinion of fathers of babies who lives hang in the balance while a woman considers her “option” of abortion, are not considered because the child is encased inside of the woman’s body.  It is somehow “her decision”.   The decision to abort a fetus/child is one that will impact the individuals involved for the rest of their lives.  Relationships can be forever destroyed by the decision to abort a baby.  Trust, respect and responsibility are all tightly woven into people’s opinions on the subject.

         Abby Johnson now stands outside of the very clinic and protests with an anti-abortion group.  To me, this kind of critic is way more powerful than a person who has always believed that it was wrong.  It is not to say that those people aren’t as convicted about their beliefs because obviously they are if they live their lives supporting that belief; however, a person who now stands toe- to -toe against their formally declared opinion or stance is what I call an effective critic. 

          When they declare that they have decided that their previous belief was wrong and take action to correct their actions from before…I find that persuasive and potentially, life changing for their circle of influence. 

           I would like to add a link, with permission granted, to an interesting article written by @mommyperks from my Twitter stream.  I think she has written a wonderful article with an interesting personal interview with a young woman, regarding her regret over having an abortion.  Please read:  http://www.mommyperks.com/vip/?p=3427 .  Thank you!

          People are being influenced daily by where they go and what they purchase online by these powerful effects.   It is a digital form of word- of -mouth.  It appears that the negative opinions regarding the Bruno movie… which is based on it’s gay theme of an Austrian television host, may have prevented this movie from having a repeat of it’s opening day’s financial success.   It may or may not be true, that online word of mouth prevented many people from viewing scenes that many have alleged are pornographic in nature; but, many voiced their negative comments in multi-media outlets after seeing it; including Barbara Walters who said on her show, The View, that she believes parents should keep young kids away from this movie because of the up close shots of genitals and scenes of  vividly descriptive anal sex.  However, as long as people perceive the Twitter effect as being true…it will gain in it’s ability to influence people’s behaviors.

          The ways that Twitter is being used is still in its infancy.  People are exploring the limits, the rules, the regulations, the benefits, the profitability, and the power of  Twitter.  I think you are going to see Twitter explode.  There are scoffers…mainly people who have tried to use it strictly for business purposes of direct marketing.  That doesn’t appear to be effective.  Most Twitter users are people who are connecting in a social way and for a variety of reasons.   For the most part, Twitter streams are not targeted markets, so that limits a plan to heavily promote tweets intended to make massive amounts of money.  Many hope to benefit financially in a linear kind of way…but, often people are offended and distrustful when approached in an unsophisticated business model, by people who approach them with an in-your-face, door-to-door kind of way.

         True influence is going to come by the power of recommendation or rejection.  This is done by planting seeds of approval or discontent by a peer-to-peer approach.  Big business is going to learn to hire people who will annoymously plant seeds of recommendation.  That is different than an affiliate kind of way of putting out an affiliate link which will directly connect them to a business or product.  Others, realizing the power of recommendation marketing are demanding transparency when a recommendation is underwritten by financial gain by the person doing the recommending.

          Anyone who knows anything about gardening knows that you must plan, prepare, nuture and then harvest your produce.  Part of the planning is strategy, preparing means that you need to evaluate what is needed that will allow the business person or individual or organization to achieve their goals of influence and success.  Planning what kind of seeds to plant and when to plant them is part of that planning and preparation.  Nurturing those seeds of recommendation or influence will require many things including large numbers of “seeds- or people sending out tweets”.  It will require a little psychology, a lot of personal relationships built on trust and responsibility and an awareness of when too much is too much and when there is not enough “seeding” going on. 

         The reason for that awareness is that Twitter is a volunteer thing.  Every person has the right of choice whether to follow another Twitterer back; that is crucial for a two way relationship.  If someone is offended, spammed, intruded on or direspected…they will delete or block that person from their Twitter stream.  This will end the influence or the harvest of the desired effect of the Twitter user’s “seeds of influence”.  It is all evolving as you read this. 

          Lest not forget…gardening can be destroyed by pests.  Pests in a real live garden come in all kinds of shapes and sizes.  Conditions can destroy a garden as well.  A productive garden takes all of this into consideration.  Pests online are those who have destruction in mind….those who spam or who try to destroy by hacking into accounts to steal data to be used later for financial gain.  Twitter and other online means of social networking are trying valiantly to curb such pests.   As far as conditions go, some of those can be controlled and some cannot.  The most powerful conditions that you can control as a Twitter user are respect, responsibility, trust, honesty and authenticity.  A fake person or one who operates without those conditions quickly becomes powerless and blocked!  So grow your “gardens” with care so that your harvest of influence is based on the good things that all relationships need to be healthy.  Be very careful about the fertilizer you use because it can come back to “burn” you!

         Rumors and speculation are rampant.  Everyone has an opinion about who he was.  I wonder if anyone really knew; including his family.  Some of the interviews that have been given, speak of him as a person of love, kindness and gentleness.  Others talk of his business accumen.  There are others still who speak of him as a  person who was trusting; and as having an innocent, child-like personna…someone who was easily hurt.   He needed protection from those who meant him harm; and yet, he didn’t want to be controlled.  Some people because of the accusations of  two seperate accusers think of him as a pedophile; one accuser settled for an undisclosed financial agreement and, in the other case that went to court, Michael Jackson was acquitted.   He has been called generous and he has been called manipulative.

         I remember Michael in different ways myself. When he was starting out with the Jackson 5, I was in awe of his talent.  I was a few years younger than him and thought that he was an talented singer and dancer.  His family was making a name for itself in the recording studio and on television.  As Michael branched out on his own…he seemed to draw other famous people into his inner circle.  He had loyal fans who couldn’t get enough of his music.  Then at a certain point, his music and his videos began to take on a different feel.  Some would say that he got creative…I didn’t like the video’s to thriller.  The music was still good…but now at this point, I no longer enjoyed watching him perform on television.  I didn’t like all of the face changes or the crotch grabbing.  It didn’t mesh with my vision of the person that I thought he was.

       As the scandals broke out…I at times felt, sorry for him (if he was innocent) and angry at him that he would keep putting himself in the position of being accused if he wasn’t guilty.  I didn’t like alot of the rumors that went on in the media about some of his alleged strange behaviors…like sleeping in the bariatric chambers, or buying the bones of the so-called elephant man.  This type of rumors fueled more and more odd stories about him.  Michael himself did interviews that alluded to abuse in his family as he was growing up.  There were public feuds between family members.  Then there were spending sprees when other people in the know spoke of how heavily in debt he was becoming.

         Add into all of this his two short-lived marriages.  “His children” who came into the world allegedly thru surrogates.  Now we hear that they may go to this person…or they may go to that person now that their father is dead.  The biological mother of the two oldest children didn’t have physical custody but did retain some legal rights.  But if she doesn’t have a relationship with them…is that what is best for them?  Is it best to keep the three children together with Michael’s mother who has gained temporary custody…since she is married to the man who Michael accused of abuse all of those years ago?  Who is the mother of the youngest son, Prince Michael 2?

        Then came the facial coverings in public; hiding under umbrellas.  The shy and reclusive behaviors.  The court system, the avoidance of the courts through medical reasons.  The investigation…the taking of Neverland Ranch because of financial difficulties. 

          In the latest years…there were no performances…no records that were released.  We heard that there were some deals in the works with a Prince over in Bahrain that fell through.  Then, when it looked very dark financially…these London concerts were creating all kinds of buzz and hype as his last London performances, ever.  Little did anyone know…he would not be there to perform and share his talent with the world.   Michael was a talented dancer, singer and songwriter…and now he is gone.

          Since his death…more questions, more rumors, more innuendo…more controversy.  The double autopsies will answer the questions about his alleged drug addiction.  It will hopefully answer how Michael died.  Will it end the rumors…the legal issues, the parenting issues, the relationship issues, the religious issues?  No…i dont think so.  The thing is…when someone has a legacy this big, it almost becomes bigger than their true self.

          The sad thing is, people will continue to make money off of him, they will talk about him, they will sell his treasure, his pictures and more rumors of his life and his holdings.  In the end, all any of us can hope for is that those closest to us really know us as we really are, love us in spite of ourselves, and that we have lived up to some sembalance of a spiritual person who has given God authority over our lives and that we have lived up to our highest true inner self. 

          Sometimes I think that Michael Jackson didn’t like who he was…or he felt trapped by who he was and what he did.  I can’t imagine changing my image as often as he did…whether it was by surgeries, processes or other means…it doesn’t matter.  People who happy with who they are dont generally come across as dissatisfied as Michael did in life.  Many people have said that he was one of the most misunderstood people alive.    So, when you are remembering Michael Jackson…I wonder…who was he to you?