For once in recent months, she is not at the mercy of someone else out to make news headlines from standing on top of her tragic connection to the negative headlines concerning her husband’s alleged infidelities.   I am sure this is not how she originally planned to announce her son’s birth; however,  it is good to have a bright light in this situation…Sandra’s celebration of her new life with her son.

        Sandra who is known for her clean and loving image and reputation has been dealt a raw deal by those alleged mistresses and their stories that they’ve shared in the media.  Their public claims of “sorry for the mess” carries little weight, I am sure.  Their requests for one- on- one time with her to discuss their “relationships” with Sandra’s husband…should not be given the time of day.  Sandra owes them no such gesture.  

       All along, Sandra has kept her peace and her dignity.  Not easy to do with some of the muck that was published.  However, Sandra is now voicing the fact that she is divorcing her husband, and also sharing the joy of her leap into single motherhood.  She has the finances and the support systems to be able to parent quite well as a single mother.  She will not face many of the challenges that many other single mothers face and that is a blessing.   The dissolution of her marriage is a tragedy…leave her alone to heal on that.   Allow her to celebrate and enjoy the things that bring happiness to her and her loved ones; for once, don’t pick at what should be a private family event.

        The People article speaks of the fact that Sandra and Jesse were adopting her son Louis together in January.  Then came the Oscars…they were waiting until that event was over to announce the adoption of their son.  We all know that a week after the Oscars the headlines gleefully announced the assault on Sandra’s marriage.  Women came out of the wood-work to share the gory details of their encounters with Jesse James.  Sandra moved out of the home she shared with her husband and his children from former relationships.   The tabloids took joy in following up one lurid headline after another…and it is unfortunate that there is a huge market for selling such newspapers on the backs of other people’s pain and misery.  It doesn’t speak well of our culture to have such an environment for our children to grow up in, in my opinion.

          She kept quiet in the media, except to declare the fact that an alleged sex tape did not exist.  That had to be painful enough to have to address something related to the horror of those stories; still, now it is easy to understand why she made the statement.  It was to distance herself from being tainted with the poor choices of those who brought down her marriage.  She was not reponsibile for making such personally devastating choices with her own behavior; even though allegedly her husband and those who had physical relationships with him are.  Sandra should not be held accountable for their actions nor should she suffer the loss of her son because of them.  By stating that there was no sex tape with her in it…she was standing tall and distancing herself from the immoral activity that was affecting her because of her association with it just by being married to Jesse. 

        I can imagine the fear and despair she felt as a new adoptive parent.   She had to have been fearful that the agencies that approved her adoption process would rightfully question whether that adoption should be finalized.  It is every adoptive parents concern that “something” will happen to derail an adoption and tear apart a parent-child relationship that has formed.  

        The headlines screamed all kinds of concern about the stability of Sandra and Jesse’s relationship at this point.  It would only be right of those concerned about the welfare of a child to want to know how that would impact Sandra’s son.  Remember, courts have to insure the best interests of the child; that is a big responsibility.   But, for most adoptive parents, any concerns an agency or court would have would normally be addressed privately…not in the media.   No adoptive parent wants something to come into play that would jepardize their blossoming relationship with their child or perhaps end their quest to come together as parent and child.

          For those who have no relationship with adoption, you should know that adoptive parents often live with others putting their parenting under the microscope.   People in general feel that it is ok to voice their input about an adoptive parent should or should not do in regards to parenting their child.  In Sandra’s case, she was a victim of circumstance and timing.  Jesse made those choices and Jesse has to address those issues within himself.  

        Jesse went off to rehab…and allegedly left rehab…only to return.  In the meantime, I am sure the behind the scenes details continued to be worked out in regards to the adoption.   Strength and courage in the face of challenges comes from a person’s internal character.  It doesn’t make the devastation any less with the dissolution of a marriage…however, I am sure that Sandra’s relationship with her friends and family will help her to heal. 

          I would caution readers to remember that there are many “innocent” people in these situations from in-laws to friends and neighbors.  They all suffer when these things happen; that is both the beauty and the pain of having deep personal relationships with others.   With the announcement that Sandra is now adopting her son as a single parent and stating that the adoption is no longer including Jesse, the concerns about stability and appropriateness should now be eliminated.   Louis will be loved, protected, and cared for and that is the goal of adoption.  It is all life changing news that Sandra “chose” to share with People magazine. 

        Congratulations Sandra Bullock on the adoption of your son.  May you have a long, healthy & happy life together as mother and son.  No matter what happens with your marriage, I hope that you are able to continue having a loving and supportive relationship with Jesse’s children.   They will need that and so will you. 

         Life gets so complicated sometimes and the innocent are often caught up in the ripples of negativity from the actions of others.  Sandra has been a constant in Jesse’s children’s life for quite a few years now…hopefully that can continue.  I am sure that the older children have begun to bond with Louis as well…may peace and love be yours once again.  Oh and by the way, let me be the first to say, Happy Mother’s Day in a couple weeks!

Bullying is more complicated these days because of the way in which it is done; it is psychological, it is persistent, and it can include threats, violence, or even sexual threats.  Most people over the age of 40 remember the school bully…you know the one.  He/She was the person who everyone feared and gave a wide berth to just because he sought out and picked on those he/she knew for a fact that they could take on and win.  We all have had some relationship to that kind of person.   However, now it seems that there is a group mentality when bullying or persistent harassment starts up.

  Back when i was growing up you had one of two options…ignore that person and stay far away from them or “stand up to them” and work up your courage to go toe to toe.  Remember the childhood phrase that we were all taught…sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you?  That couldn’t be farther from the truth; we all know that words have the power to destroy a person’s self-worth and the value of that person in the eyes of others.

Everyday it seems that we hear about another child/teen/college student that has been bullied or cyber stalked and trash talked about.  Many of those cases either end in a suicide or a violent attack or even in some cases of extreme bullying…a retribution plan of attack on a school with a violent outburst.  Lives are ruined, hearts and minds are damaged; many individuals end up in prison because of bullying.

 A real danger is people who think that bullying is a normal part of growing up…it isn’t and it should not ever be allowed.  Making excuses and telling a victim of such behavior to just ignore it is equal to nullifying their experience with bullying…which in effect tells them that they are powerless to change their circumstance in a positive way.

There is a hopelessness about our young people.   Many of them, in a desperate need to feel something, are self mutilating, becoming promiscuous,  developing eating disorders, or diving into the world of drug/alcohol addictions in reaction to their feelings about themselves and their lack of proper treatment by others.   They have been conditioned to think that nothing is going to change for the better; so they feel angry, bitter, broken and depressed.

 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it doesn’t affect you, your children, your grandchildren, or the children in your church or neighborhood.  It does; and things are getting desperate.  Kids feel threatened, they feel demeaned and they feel powerless…so, many of them will arm themselves and things escalate quickly.   This is good for no one.

Respect for themselves as well as others is important to fight bullying.  Finding mentors for our young people is helpful…getting involved in sports or extra curricular activities that give them an appropriate sense of pride in themselves and their involvement.  Community service that gives them a sense of personal value and connects them to others who recognize their strengths and talents.  Inspiring hope and promise for a future is what kids need.  Instead, we often find that our young people aren’t getting those important messages about themselves.

With all of the new technology, kids are able to be “connected” 24 hours a day to not only their friends; but also, to people who wish them harm.  This connection includes cell phones, cell phone pictures, texts, email, chat lines, websites and forums.   Kids live in the midst of a multi-media blitz in their lives in school and at home.  Pay attention to them closely; watch for any changes in behavior, attitude, relationships and moods.  It could be life and death-for them and anyone who is in their lives, personally and socially.

Don’t think, not my child, not my child’s friend or the kids in my youth group.  I’ve worked with kids most of my adult life; for well over 30 years and things have broken down.  Kids, even good ones have low self esteem, they are depressed, frightened and angry.   Many of them don’t feel loved (even when they are), they don’t feel valued, appreciated or listened to.  They feel trapped and alone or isolated…even when they are surrounded by friends and activities.  It is a recipe for disaster not to recognize the patterns or seeds of destruction.

In truth, it makes you want to build a fortress around them to protect them against those who seek them out to do them harm.  So what can a parent, an educator, a spiritual leader, a friend, or a sibling do to help those caught in the web of persistent bullying/stalking?

First of all, pay attention.  Listen closely, monitor things…set limits of exposure online.  Talk to them and their friends about situations of bullying in their school or social networks.  Document any kind of negative interaction…write it down, talk to the school administration, file a report, alert teachers, bus drivers, neighborhood watches to any kind of bullying or violent situations that may come up.  Create a network of awareness and prevention where you can.  Ask your school to bring in safety experts and relationship experts who are trained in these areas of concern. 

Expect there to be resistence from the powers that be.  Many of them will give lip service to the no tolerance rule of bullying…but never, EVER, let them talk you out of filing official reports or grievances.   Often a school will just expell a student for a short time as a discipline…never following up with corrective action such as counseling or conflict resolution.   Leadership must establish methods of dealing with this type of behavior in a constructive way. 

For the victims of bullying or school violence… it may be helpful to have some self-defense training, some skilled training about paying attention to their surroundings and who is in their direct physical environment; making judgement calls about making decisions about where to go and with whom.   Get restraining orders or personal orders of protection if you feel it is something necessary to the physical and emotional well-being of the victim.     In some cases, change schools or even in extreme cases…it is best to even move or send them to live with a relative temporarily-especially if there is gang involvement.   This is no small thing to overcome and you do not want a victim of bullying/violence to become a prisoner to fear in their everyday life.

Does that sound like an over-reaction?  I can assure you that it is not; don’t believe me?  Watch the news, listen to a mother or a father that has lost a child to school violence or bullying; they would do anything if they could go back and do something different.   Or maybe listen to the child who in reaction to the bullying, who took matters into his/her own hands and tried to retaliate only to end up in prison for years or for life.  That ought to convince you that taking drastic measures to protect your child or your family is a good thing.  You see, persistent bullying often spreads and becomes a contagious thing…affecting other family members or sometimes even others in the neighborhood.   It is serious, but things can be done to improve the situation; get good advice from law enforcement or safety experts on the matter.

Ok, remember that I mentioned that some of you wouldn’t make it this far because you think it doesn’t affect you.  These young people who are traumatized, or trained to protect themselves emotionally by closing off normal pathways of emotion, are going to grow up.  They are going to become doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers and nursing home supervisors, counselors and so on.

If their standards of what is acceptable, in relation to inappropriate levels of behavior have been damaged, are you going to want them caring for your grandchildren in day care, or taking care of one of your loved ones in a hospital or nursing home setting?  If they have learned to accept that kind of treatment in their own life, they surely won’t recognize it as inappropriate behavior in relation to others like yourself.  

Please, love on the youth today build them up and help them to be strong individuals in a healthy way; care for them, listen to them, protect them through legal channels and through school policies.  You won’t regret being proactive in the name of what is right!

        There is extreme hunger, thirst, a desperate need for shelter and personal safety…and again, a huge concern for predators intent on inflicting the horror of human trafficking/modern day slavery on the men,women and children caught in the natural disaster that is the earthquake that Haiti has suffered.  Good things are happening too, but we don’t hear as much about that…but, we need to so that those helping to make a difference see that goodness can come out of tragedy.

         But there are at least two positives that I want to point out, one is a miracle of another survivor who was found 15 days after the earthquake; a 17 year old girl, now that is a miracle!  The other positive is a pat on the back for those that I saw on a news report who have had next to nothing to eat & drink; and yet, some of those same people have been sharing with their neighbors the last of their valuable items of food and drink.  It reminded me of the old story, Stone Soup…Haiti is creating stone soup.

     For those of you who don’t remember the story of  Stone Soup; it is a story of a travelor who wanders into a village and teaches a lesson about working together and having compassion.  The travelor is hungry and has nothing to eat so he asks a woman for some food.  She denies him because she says she has nothing to give him.  The travelor has a large pot but nothing to put into it.  However, he asks the woman if he can use her fire for cooking and he goes to the well to get water for the pot he carries on his shoulder. 

        Curious, the woman asks him what he is going to cook.  He tells her stone soup.  He looks around the yard and finds a nice smooth rock.  He cleans it off and drops it into the pot of water that is heating up on the fire.  After some time, he tastes it and the woman asks him, how does it taste.  He says well, it is not done yet.  Then he mentions that normally he would add some carrots but, he doesn’t have any.  The woman’s young son says that they have a few carrots in the side garden.  The mother gives her ok to go get them and add them to the pot if he will share with her family some of his stone soup; he agrees and the child gathers the carrots to add to the pot.

       It cooks for a while, and he tastes the soup…mentions that it needs some herbs.  Of course by this time, the children are playing off to the side of the fire; and, one of the boys friends says that his mother has some wild onions growing by her picket fence and runs off to get them.  When he comes back he brings his sister who has two potatoes that she dug up just that afternoon; and his mother follows with a handful of peas that she was cleaning for supper.  Together they throw the wild onions and the chopped up potatoes into the pot as well as the peas that the woman had.  The soup is starting to smell good.  No one had ever heard of stone soup before and it wasn’t long before people were talking about it and coming to watch in case they may learn to make it for themselves.

        The first village woman had gone to her friends house to tell of the stranger and his stone soup.  Her friend says she must see this to learn how to make it as times are hard.  She tells her friend that all she has to feed her family is one dead chicken that she was plucking when her friend came to tell her of the soup.  She takes the chicken with her as she doesn’t want to lay it down on the dirty outdoor table. 

        When the women arrive the soup is sending up a lovely smell and people are starting to gather around the pot.  There were young and old alike giving their advice on what to add and how it would taste.  The pot was very large and so the woman with the chicken asks if she adds the chicken to the pot whether she could bring her family over to share the soup.  Of course says the travelor…the chicken would be a wonderful addition to the soup.  Excitement began to touch those around the fire…they started to think about what they had that could be added, for a small sample of the stone soup.

        A husband and wife happened along in their wagon coming home from the mill.  They had sacks of grain, and inside one of those sacks was some barley they were willing to share with the travelor and his pot for a portion for themselves.  Into the pot went a couple of cups of barley.   The crowd began to murmur amongst themselves about how good the stone soup would taste when it was done.

       Another added some corn, a grandmother had some rice she was willing to share, and a teenager had some beans that he had been shelling for his mother…these they added to the pot.  The travelor said it was nearly done…did anyone else have anything to share…and out of nowhere a rutabaga appeared, along with a few sticks of celery, some lentils, and a head of garlic, some green beans and a fat sausage or two.

       It wasn’t long before the stranger said it was nearly done and did anyone have some bowls to serve it with; the people began to scurry home and came back with not only bowls and spoons but hungry family members who were thankful to have a meal;  when earlier, they had no idea how they were going to find something to eat when alas, they only had an item or two to prepare.  They were all grateful that the travelor had taught them how to make Stone Soup by sharing their blessings with one another.

        This is the story of Haiti…i read a news item this week of neighbors who were sharing the last little bits they had with one another.  One woman said, today I have this to share with my neighbors and friends…tomorrow they will share with me what they have.  In this way we all shall have something to eat and drink.

        In a time when most would understand that desperation has the tendency to bring out the worst in people (and for some it does); I want to celebrate those who in their desperation are finding ways to help one another.  Whether they are sharing their food or water, trying to protect the people from human trafficking, looking for survivors, helping those grieving…or tending to the sick and dying in make shift hospitals…i want to say thank you for finding human compassion inside of yourselves and using it to help a nation trying to survive.  God bless!

        Cynical people who think that pastors are constantly “begging” for money from the pulpit may feel vindicated by news stories like this one about Pastor Warren’s plea for donations; but, they shouldn’t.  Churches supply a huge role in helping people, in need, in communities all around the world.  For the working poor, who often cannot get help from governmental agencies because they “earn too much money to qualify”, the local churches are a lifeline when it comes to seeing them meet the needs of families in their local communities.  Many churches have a benevolence committee or a food pantry…some even have access to donated clothing or household items that families in crisis are in need of, but can’t afford to provide their loved ones. 

         Churches are often asked to help people pay their heating bills, or help them pay their rent, give them gas money so they can get back and forth to work, provide them with groceries or money for food to feed their children.  The needs are great and becoming greater everyday with the homeforclosures, job layoffs or downsizings and with employees who lose their medical benefits and have to use their cash to provide medical needs to their dependents.

       Churches are the silent heros (as they should be) in the struggle to provide for people in need; just as Jesus commands his followers to do, in his name, in the book of Matthew.   In Matthew 25, the Bible talks about God judging on the day of judgement regarding helping those in need.    In Matthew 25 vs. 40-46, He basically says that when we give to those in need; to the hungry, the thirsty, the unclothed, those in prison,  it is as if we are giving to him and, if we do not give to those in need…it is as if we have denied him; we will be judged on whether we have been his hands and his feet in our service to others.  It can mean the difference between going to heaven or going to hell in our eternal destination. 

        It is a hard heart that sees another person suffering in need and denies them help when they have the ability to positively impact their situation.  The body of Christ, his churches, want to help…they desire to help…but, they are limited in their ability to help when they are often in the same situation as those who come and knock at the perverbial door of the church looking for assistance.   Tithing or the giving back a tenth of the blessings that God provides his people is scriptual.  We are supposed to give 1/10 of our wealth, our time, our skills-our blessings back to God…that is not much that he is requiring from us.   I have a friend who has a passion to help others…she uses her talents to provide information to those who get much of their food from food pantries or food stamp programs…she teaches them to provide healthy and filling meals from the food in those programs.  This is a link to her site as it ministers to others: http://foodstampscookingclub.com/blog/  She gives back to others out of her joy and her skills!

         God does not need our money…but tithing is an obedience that he requires from us.  He uses that obedience to him through our churches, our charities and our associations to meet the needs of the poor.  It is a tool of ministry to reach the sinners who do not believe and to help provide for those who are believers as well who are going through struggles of their own.  Are there people who will take advantage of this?  Yes, but that is why there are guidelines set up for most ministry programs so that people do not abuse this ministry outreach, in most churches.  That way, more people can receive the help and services of the church ministry programs.

         So, when people pay their tithes in church…this money helps to keep the church functioning so that it can continue to be God’s hands reaching out to meet the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of his people.    It is wrong to sit in church, absorb all the good things that a spirit filled church provides and not give back; so those people who claim to be Christians and do not do as God commands by paying their tithes and giving of offerings…there are consequences…don’t be fooled into thinking that your obedience in this matter doesn’t count.  

            Don’t become jaded when that offering plate comes to you…or you hear a pastor asking for donations; it takes money to keep the lights on, heat the church building, pay the church staff, put gas in the church vans to bring in people who don’t have a car to drive, and minister to families in crisis,  and couples whose marriages may be in trouble.    Give of your time (volunteer), your skills, your money…your personal possessions when you have the opportunity; just because it is the right thing to do.   If you don’t have money but have a skill that would benefit others…use it to help them.  If you don’t have a skill or money but you have free time…become a volunteer and be a willing hand!

         As a worker in my own church, I see the truth in how the church reaches out and blesses it’s people, the community and those in need.  I want to do my part and be a blessing and not a curse.  How about you…are you doing your part?

Update:  http://www.writewhereyouareblog.com/his-cup-runneth-over/

       Tiger says that he is aware of the hurt and damage that he has caused and that he is sorry; and, he is asking for forgiveness.  He appears to be aware that his actions have impacted his sponsors, his family, friends, fans and the public in general in a tremendously negative way.   At one point, in the last couple of weeks, he referred to his sins, and the fact that he wasn’t perfect.  The effects of these poor choices are long reaching and potentially explosive.

       His statement calls for the need for time, privacy and a safe haven that he and his family need for healing.  News reports claim that Elin, his wife, has purchased a home on an island in Stockholm, Sweden.  This after the New York Post has reported that Tiger is being accused of paying a large sum of money to former alleged madam Michelle Braun for the services of her escorts (and some say prostitutes).   Ms. Braun allegedly claims that the services she provided through her escorts included more than just dates and sometimes included multiple girls at the same time.  He could be in  legal trouble there because prostitution is illegal; if that actually happened and it can be proven.

        All of these allegations simply imply that Tiger was living a life that was wildly out of control on a personal level.  The fact that people are making these claims and he is not denying them is horribly disappointing to many.  Tiger had the public image of a stand up guy; a guy who became a positive inspiration to many.   He had the image of a perfect family, a successful career, a role model to young people around the world…and wealth, fame and status that many only dream of achieving.   However, most of us know that putting people on a pedestal is wrong, human beings can fail. 

        Tiger and his father set up his Tiger Wood’s Foundation to give back to society.  When they began the organization it was intented to help young people discover who they are and what their skill sets are.  There is the Tiger Woods Learning Center which has after school programs that help kids explore and prepare for careers that they are interested in pursuing.  The foundation even offers scholarships to some.  This is all worthwhile and admirable.  However, it is hoped that these recent developments in Tiger’s life do not negatively impact the giving to the foundation or those who benefit from the foundation and it’s services; that would only hurt those who have come to depend on the opportunities that the foundation provides young people who are trying to reach for their dreams by achieving their goals.

        Tiger’s father Earl was instrumental in inspiring him and helping Tiger to focus his attention on achieving his goals.   When he lost his father, his Pop, you have to wonder if he lost his moral rudder.  Some say that it is possible that Tigers recent car accident was caused by a possible addiction to pain medication.  Tiger’s alledged participation with Ms. Braun’s escorts supposedly happened between 2006 and 2007.  

        Tiger Woods lost his father Earl in the Spring of 2006 and the birth of his first child, daughter Sam, was in early summer of 2007.  Knee surgery combined with these other major life changes happening at the same time could have contributed to this situation; however, ultimately no one is responsible for Tiger’s choices but, he himself.  The sad thing is that others will suffer consequences through no cause of their own.  Tiger has recently said that, he needs to focus his attention on being a better husband, father and a person.  It could be that he comes out of this whole debacle stronger, healthier and with more moral integrity than he was perceived to have had before he fell from grace.

          By moving to this home on the island of Stockholm, Sweden, that is only accessible by boat, he increases his chances of doing exactly what he said he needs to do, to become a better husband, father and a person.  They will need help as a couple to repair their marriage and they will need privacy…this home on the island should be helpful; as long as, they look at it, in that way and not as a means of running away.  

         There is going to be no easy fix.  The thing is, if there was as much promiscuity as the newspapers claim, then there are health concerns as well for everyone involved.  Testing should be manditory for each person who was sexually active with Tiger.   This  healing time will require open communication and honesty.  It may include professional help.  It should definately include a spiritual awakening, because that will help facilitate healing  in all of the areas of his life.  Tiger Woods is on a course to self-improvement…let’s wish him and his family well in their attempts to recover and heal from these difficult challenges.

        For a man who until now has lead a pretty private life in the public eye…he has gained more attention in the last week, than he has ever wanted.  Yet, just days ago…he put out a muddled attempt to squash the rumors from the media microscope by admitting to transgressions and sins.  He claims to not being true to the values and behaviors that his family deserves.  That sounds like an admission of some of the rumors; however, it is not clear and it is damaging to be assuming anything.  However, it is not enough for some people to hear that vagueness.  They want intimate details in the tabloid society that we live in.  That is harmful to all involved.

        His wife’s actions regarding the accident were questioned.  More rumors swirl about renogotiating prenups and the like.  Women coming out of the woodwork alledging affairs with Tiger.  People in his sphere of a social life in Vegas claim that he lived his life there in ways that made people wonder if he was being more than friendly with pretty women; whether he was or not.

         At least one of the women that the tabloids accused of having an affair with Tiger has denied it and hired an attorney to represent her.  She was going to give a press conference and then it was suddenly cancelled.  One of the other somen supposedly has proof of the alledged affair. 

          One thing is for sure, this is a situation that has people by the throats.  Some are interested because Tiger is notoriously private…as well is his wife, about their life.  Others just like to have their nose in someone else’s business.  Still others, have suspected ulterior motives.  Then, there are those who make jokes at the expense of those involved.

            Really and truly, no one has a right to know these personal and private details except those who are directly involved.  If it is true, then there is a family that is damaged and will either survive with great effort or be destroyed by the fall out.  There are young children involved who will someday grow up and read what is written.   A wife who may or may not have known about these alledged rumored and or factual affairs.  For those who are innocent in this situation, I would hope that people would respect them. 

           It is a terrible thing to witness a family in crisis.  If he in fact had these affairs, Tiger and his wife Elin will have to work their way through it.  If there truly are women involved intimately…then, they will have to all be dealing with the after-effects.  There are physical things to consider such as diseases, stress, depression…feelings of self-esteem and self-worth.  Jobs could be at stake.  Reputations lost; and role models such as Tiger can do alot of harm to those younger people who look to sports figures and celebrities as someone to aspire to.

        A few years ago, Tiger lost his father…who was, in many ways, his mentor and his rock.  A man who has achieved as much in his area of  sports expertise, as Tiger has in the field of golf knows how to work hard and stay focused.  If he truly values his family and his marriage…he will take the time to focus on repairing the damage that has been done in the last week personally, professionally and spiritually.   Failure does not rest easy on someone who is so driven to perfect himself in some areas of his life.  Whatever failures he has apologised for creating regarding his values and his behaviors he can overcome…as long as his wife, family, friends, and business relationships are willing to heal. 

        I say, wish them well, get out of their way…and pray for them all.  This is not a science project to be studied under a microscope; this is not entertainment…it is real people, who have real lives, and real important things to lose.  Does the public really need to know every last detail; shouldn’t it be dealt with in private?

   When i saw the performance, I felt like i was visually assaulted by images that I do not agree with morally; and, I felt that it was totally inappropriate.   Evidently I am not the only one, on a online poll approximately 63% said that they felt it was inappropriate for network television.   Mr. Lambert has been making provative statements in interviews about how female performers have pushed the envelope onstage sexually …and it appears, to me, that he feels that it is up to him to do the same, if that AMA performance is any indication.   I don’t think that we need either male/female performers to push the envelop sexually in performances.  I happen to believe it is inappropriate no matter who does it; nothing against Adam Lambert personally, it is just my opinion.

    Articles online seem to imply that ABC was not informed during rehearsals that there would be a male to male kiss.  Some say that they weren’t aware of  the simulated oral sex being in the performance; although another witness disagrees about that…saying it happened in rehearsal, only not quite as elaborate.   However, I can’t help but feel that ABC made a poor judgement call just  by allowing the performance in the first place, by allowing a song to have the visuals associated with S & M bondage on their stage; even if the kiss was impromptu and the other performance issues as well.  

       It appears that ABC has decided that they made a mistake as well, seeing as how Adam Lambert was scheduled to appear on Good Morning America after his AMA performance and ABC has since cancelled that appearance.  Another network took advantage of that and has booked him to appear on their morning show; he will sing two songs.  ABC has allegedly said that they feel his performance would be inappropriate for their morning viewers.  I agree.  Hopefully the other network considers the possible repercussions; because, young children are at home watching this program.  Especially during this holiday season when kids are getting days off from school. 

    I feel that Mr. Lambert is trying so hard to shove his perceived lifestyle and his image onto the viewing public that he has become offensive to many…and no amount of talent is going to overcome that; if the viewers feel disrespected or put upon.   There are some who are praising his artistic talent…and his bravery if you will.  I however feel that he will eventually push his agenda so hard that he will wear out his welcome in many venues.   The music industry is a business…and when your personal views or behavior starts to affect the businesses bottom line…then the powers that be are forced to make prudent decisions.  If Adam Lambert decides that his agenda of promoting his gay image/lifestyle is more important than having his musical career flourish then i guess he will deal with the consequences of that if the business owners decide that it is no longer profitable for him to make appearances.  Then again, some people love controversy no matter what it is based on. 

      You see, sponsors are the ones who will get the complaints; already ABC allegedly had over 1500 complaints regarding Mr. Lamberts performance.    I suspect that many more grumbled privately than those who actually complained formally to the network.  Networks need sponsors to do these programs.   They will pull out of programs where Mr. Lambert is scheduled to perform, if the sponsors feel that they will loose support from their potential customers.   Eventually there could be a backlash; and the events that Mr. Lambert is scheduled to perform at, will become fewer and farther apart.  If that happens; and it could, then I hope the shock value that Mr. Lambert seems so intent upon exposing us all to is enough for him to take comfort in.    When instead, he could have possibly had a real successful career had he relied upon his singing talent instead of his ability to make people cringe inwardly because he tried force us to accept his musical performance that demeaned other performers onstage in a sexual way, as being acceptable to the mainstream viewer.

           We usually do something different with our kids and have a fall harvest celebration.  If the weather is decent we will have a campfire and maybe we do something like put up a pinata with a minimum of candy to tickle their fancy; but, not enough to be obscene about how much candy they end up consuming.   It is a good idea to have some games planned and invite their friends.  Be prepared for loud and boisterous fun…but that is ok…they are supposed to be having a good time.

          My  main concern about this time of year  is safety and spiritual well-being.  Some Halloween revelers take things to a level glorifying evil and gore.    I don’t like all of the gore, the frightening costumes, the evil that seems to be celebrated by some.  Most of all, i don’t like how vulnerable the kids are to violence, to kidnapping, or to many of the other dangers that go along with the so called “holiday”.   I think it is a good time to remind parents to keep your kids close…minimize the danger that they are exposed to. 

       When it comes to costumes…make sure that they have some kind of reflective quality so that they can be seen in the low lighting conditions.  Have them carry a lighting device or a glow stick.  Go over reminders of safe street crossings and appropriate approaches to people’s homes and property.  There are some people who do not watch out for little ones crossing streets and sidewalks.  Then there are those who don’t appreciate kids and teens prancing across their lawns “begging for candy”. 

        Every year we hear of parties that have gone wrong and someone is killed or injured in a fight or in a case of over-reaction to a misunderstanding.  We hear about kids who go about doing destructive pranks and then their are the occasional people with emotional/anger/substance abuse issues who react violently.  We hear about teens horsing around and accidents happening where another in the crowd is injured or killed because things get out of control.  There are incidents of bullying or gang activity.  There are rapes…and kidnappings; children become lost or missing in communities; they are at risk for predators at this time of year especially when it is acceptable to be walking the streets with masks on and in disquise.  Large cities often have issues with “devil’s night” fires and looting. These things can be minimized if parents take steps to insure that they know where their kids are and what they are doing…as well as who they are with.

         It is wise to go out with your children if you are going to allow them to go trick or treating.   Don’t let them out of your site.  You really don’t know who to trust and who your child/teen will be meeting up with.  It seems weekly that there are reports of missing and or exploited children…noone wants their child to be one of them.  We have heard too any news stories recently about children who have been violated or murdered to just let them go off and wish them a good time.  Parenting responsibilities don’t end just because your kids may be able to go off with a crowd.  

        Even teens…God bless them can get caught up in situations that either are not in their best interest or that can endanger them.   Your teens probably won’t verbalize their appreciation if you take a protective stance about their activities…however, no one ever promised that parenting would win you any popularity contest, now did they?   Create an alternative environment for them to get together with their friends; but, still be supervised and protected.   Law enforcement officers will appreciate the help because they can’t be everywhere at once. 

           When David announced details  on the show about the alledged blackmail attempt (which he reported to the authorities) David was applauded by some supporters as “being manly”; or, being proactive and taking the reins in the attempt to spin the public’s perception of the whole sordid situation.   I personally dont find it manly to sleep with co-workers casually and then make a joke out of it for public consumption on television.   

             There are some people who are “standing by their Letterman” no matter what.   When I hear them talking it makes me wonder what their personal values are…and I also wonder about the individuals that they are in a relationship are thinking.  Hmmm…if my significant other thinks it is ok for David Letterman to cheat in his relationship and sleep with his co-workers…then what is my significant other doing when I am not around…that is the kind of thoughts that would be running through my mind if my significant other was speaking out in support of David’s bad behavior. 

         Another thing, while David has spoken in jest about such matters…he has that smirk on his face (in my opinion)…which just doesn’t sit well with me.  It makes me think he is callous in his treatment of others or worse…that he is loving all of the chaos that this mess is causing and is giving him more attention and ratings than he could have hoped for.  Either way, I don’t like watching his cheesy grin while he devalues his relationship with Regina or those other woman by turning it into some kind of “hip” monologue to “entertain” people with.  

            There is some concern that all of the jokes that David (and others) are cracking in public is going to create a backlash for David and his image.  I say, are you serious?  Ok, so none of the women he had relationships with on his staff are complaining.   Still, some women’s organizations are complaining about his attitude toward women in the workplace.   Ok, so his wife has not made a public statement about her feelings on the situation.  Ok, some really big stars and supporters are saying …yeah well, David is the man, because he confronted the issue through his television show.  David has done plenty of bashing of other men, who were in similiar positions as him regarding inappropriate or immoral sexual behavior over the years. 

        I just want to say that I don’t find any of this a laughing matter…it really rather offends me that he is cracking jokes about such a serious situation; one that is causing hurt for so many people.  For those who are spiritually minded, this is a huge concern as it goes against most religious guidelines for proper or appropriate behavior; in fact, it is considered a sin by many. 

         Maybe David thinks this is the appropriate way to address the situation by laughing at it.  Hmmm…or maybe not.  Maybe he is attempting to put a spin on the damage or as they say, he is doing damage control.  Except…really, for a man who waited so many years to remarry…to have a young son…wouldn’t you think he would be concerned about how this is affecting those closest to him?  I have heard him apologize to his staff, and acknowledge that his actions have deeply hurt his wife Regina.  I heard him say that if one is responsible for causing that kind of hurt that they need to repair the damage.  It is easier said than done.

          Ok Dave…I am going to speak your language and give you some free advice.  Here are the top 10  ten reasons that you, David Letterman, need to stop laughing and making jokes about your actions in this situation.

Reason #10

People might think you would do it all over again-because you thanked your staff for standing by you when you got “yourself” into something stupid!   Hello…you got alot of people into something stupid.

Reason #9

You could lose your job over the situation.

Reason #8

You could lose viewers in the long run (even though the immediate numbers are up).

Reason #7

You could lose sponsors for the show-which in turn could cause you to lose your job.

Reason #6

You could have damaged marriages & family relationships for the people on your staff.

Reason #5

You have given your child plenty of counseling material for years to come-plus ammunition for school bullies to taunt your young son Harry…he may not always respect you, like you appear to have respected your father.

Reason #4

You have given your wife reason to doubt and mistrust your actions with present & future staff-this may have destroyed the trustibility in your marriage-costing you companionship, love, support, and half of your financial legacy.

Reason #3

You have damaged your relationship with your wife & mother of your only child-yes you were not married but you were in a relationship with her during the time of this alledged behavior.

Reason #2

You look like an insensitive jerk by laughing at a situation that affects thousands & thousands of your viewer’s marriages and relationships each and every day.

Reason #1

The other half of the story isn’t out yet…and there will be more information to come out.  The more you laugh now the more there could be to explain later…to the public, to those you have personal relationships with and to the authorities in a court room.  Your name will not just be known for your comedic skills and talents…it will be forever associated with sex, scandal, back room relationships…and negative publicity.  Your so called friends and supporters will distance themselves from you quicker than quick if the publicity takes a negative turn.   Oh and by the way, it just isn’t funny David Letterman!

As the disease progresses the person becomes more distant from those who love them.   Their connection to one another through memories and shared experiences are threatened by loss.  It feels isolating and overwhelming.  Those affected are not alone; the statistics are harsh.  Every 70 seconds another person develops Alzheimer’s Disease.  It is astonishing; but, 35 million people are living with Alzheimer’s disease around the world.   World Alzheimer’s Day is set up to create an awareness of the disease as well as encourage fundraising and research development.  Please spread the word…help raise funds,do a memory walk,  do your part to share an awareness of the disease and it’s devastation…because, unfortunately, it could touch your life through either your own health or the well-being of someone you care about.

If you would like more information please read about the tragedy of Alzheimers through one of my previous posts here: http://www.writewhereyouareblog.com/?p=2127 .  Or go to one of these sites: http://www.alz.org/news_and_events_world_alzheimers_day.asp , http://www.alz.org/index.asp .