Those things are very important;  however, there are even more precautions to take to keep your kids safe in this environment.   Many people aren’t even aware of this particular danger that we are going to discuss today.   The danger I am talking about is the vacuum or suction that allows for the water in the pool, or hot tub to circulate.

         A child or even some adults are in danger because of the design of those drains, in some pools.   The power of these drains  can drastically alter or cause the loss of life.  Pools that aren’t up to date, or equipped, with various layers of protection, regarding the force of the suction in these drains, can kill or permanently harm human lives.  

         It is important to note that people on vacation may not be aware of the quality or level of protection that a hotel/campground/waterpark may or may not have.  It’s even possible for people to take for granted that the neighbor’s or grandma/grandpa’s pool is “safe” for their children’s use this summer. 

        Using large drain covers  that are considered to be blockage free; and, that are firmly attached with screws are the first step towards protecting lives.   Equally important to the issue of safety and well-being is to have back up systems that help to restrict, or reduce the amount of suction through these drains. 

        There are safety shut off valves, that can save lives too; those safety shut off valves can sense when a drain becomes blocked and the force increases on the surface of the drain cover.    This powerful suction can occur when the skin of a person covers the drain and pulls with a large force trapping a person underwater; so a shut off valve is critical for saving lives.  

        Precious time is often lost because people believe that they can just pull a small person off of the drain cover…but, it just isn’t so.   Even with adult men pulling on the victims, that have lost their lives, they could not be freed from the force of that suction and they drowned or had their intestines pulled from their bodies because of that force.   No one should die such a senseless death when it is possible to avoid such a tragedy.   It is a horrible situation that can be prevented if only all pools and hot tubs were equipped with these safety measures.

        Imagine the helplessness of those survivors of such incidents…watching an innocent swimmer suffer and needlessly die because they could not be freed from a pool or hot tub drain.  It is a vision that would be hard to live with.  There are safety advocates that are trying to enforce legislation to protect us all; if you would write to your representatives in Congress and express your desire for layers of safety measures to be implemented and enforced, all around the nation, it would help.

          Swimming is a great summer activity and there is no reason to avoid taking part in it as long as you are aware of  the risks and take appropriate precautions.  Check out those pools that you “visit”…make sure that they are equipped with large safe drain covers.   Don’t be afraid to ask question and don’t be willing to be pacified with answers that don’t address the issues of safety for your family.   See for yourself  if there is a shut off valve available that is quick to reach (we’ve been in hotels where those are behind a locked door). 

          If a public pool does not appear to be safe; report it to authorities outside of the organization or facility where the pool/hot tub is housed; you could be saving lives.   Don’t take chances.  Teach children and teens to avoid the drain areas of pools and hot tubs or better yet; teach them not to get into an unknown pool without checking it’s safety features.  

           It doesn’t take a genius to realize that by the time a hotel employee could be located with a key…someone could drown before help could arrive.  Protect your loved ones by being safe…being aware, and sharing this information with those who may not know of this danger!

Bullying is more complicated these days because of the way in which it is done; it is psychological, it is persistent, and it can include threats, violence, or even sexual threats.  Most people over the age of 40 remember the school bully…you know the one.  He/She was the person who everyone feared and gave a wide berth to just because he sought out and picked on those he/she knew for a fact that they could take on and win.  We all have had some relationship to that kind of person.   However, now it seems that there is a group mentality when bullying or persistent harassment starts up.

  Back when i was growing up you had one of two options…ignore that person and stay far away from them or “stand up to them” and work up your courage to go toe to toe.  Remember the childhood phrase that we were all taught…sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you?  That couldn’t be farther from the truth; we all know that words have the power to destroy a person’s self-worth and the value of that person in the eyes of others.

Everyday it seems that we hear about another child/teen/college student that has been bullied or cyber stalked and trash talked about.  Many of those cases either end in a suicide or a violent attack or even in some cases of extreme bullying…a retribution plan of attack on a school with a violent outburst.  Lives are ruined, hearts and minds are damaged; many individuals end up in prison because of bullying.

 A real danger is people who think that bullying is a normal part of growing up…it isn’t and it should not ever be allowed.  Making excuses and telling a victim of such behavior to just ignore it is equal to nullifying their experience with bullying…which in effect tells them that they are powerless to change their circumstance in a positive way.

There is a hopelessness about our young people.   Many of them, in a desperate need to feel something, are self mutilating, becoming promiscuous,  developing eating disorders, or diving into the world of drug/alcohol addictions in reaction to their feelings about themselves and their lack of proper treatment by others.   They have been conditioned to think that nothing is going to change for the better; so they feel angry, bitter, broken and depressed.

 Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it doesn’t affect you, your children, your grandchildren, or the children in your church or neighborhood.  It does; and things are getting desperate.  Kids feel threatened, they feel demeaned and they feel powerless…so, many of them will arm themselves and things escalate quickly.   This is good for no one.

Respect for themselves as well as others is important to fight bullying.  Finding mentors for our young people is helpful…getting involved in sports or extra curricular activities that give them an appropriate sense of pride in themselves and their involvement.  Community service that gives them a sense of personal value and connects them to others who recognize their strengths and talents.  Inspiring hope and promise for a future is what kids need.  Instead, we often find that our young people aren’t getting those important messages about themselves.

With all of the new technology, kids are able to be “connected” 24 hours a day to not only their friends; but also, to people who wish them harm.  This connection includes cell phones, cell phone pictures, texts, email, chat lines, websites and forums.   Kids live in the midst of a multi-media blitz in their lives in school and at home.  Pay attention to them closely; watch for any changes in behavior, attitude, relationships and moods.  It could be life and death-for them and anyone who is in their lives, personally and socially.

Don’t think, not my child, not my child’s friend or the kids in my youth group.  I’ve worked with kids most of my adult life; for well over 30 years and things have broken down.  Kids, even good ones have low self esteem, they are depressed, frightened and angry.   Many of them don’t feel loved (even when they are), they don’t feel valued, appreciated or listened to.  They feel trapped and alone or isolated…even when they are surrounded by friends and activities.  It is a recipe for disaster not to recognize the patterns or seeds of destruction.

In truth, it makes you want to build a fortress around them to protect them against those who seek them out to do them harm.  So what can a parent, an educator, a spiritual leader, a friend, or a sibling do to help those caught in the web of persistent bullying/stalking?

First of all, pay attention.  Listen closely, monitor things…set limits of exposure online.  Talk to them and their friends about situations of bullying in their school or social networks.  Document any kind of negative interaction…write it down, talk to the school administration, file a report, alert teachers, bus drivers, neighborhood watches to any kind of bullying or violent situations that may come up.  Create a network of awareness and prevention where you can.  Ask your school to bring in safety experts and relationship experts who are trained in these areas of concern. 

Expect there to be resistence from the powers that be.  Many of them will give lip service to the no tolerance rule of bullying…but never, EVER, let them talk you out of filing official reports or grievances.   Often a school will just expell a student for a short time as a discipline…never following up with corrective action such as counseling or conflict resolution.   Leadership must establish methods of dealing with this type of behavior in a constructive way. 

For the victims of bullying or school violence… it may be helpful to have some self-defense training, some skilled training about paying attention to their surroundings and who is in their direct physical environment; making judgement calls about making decisions about where to go and with whom.   Get restraining orders or personal orders of protection if you feel it is something necessary to the physical and emotional well-being of the victim.     In some cases, change schools or even in extreme cases…it is best to even move or send them to live with a relative temporarily-especially if there is gang involvement.   This is no small thing to overcome and you do not want a victim of bullying/violence to become a prisoner to fear in their everyday life.

Does that sound like an over-reaction?  I can assure you that it is not; don’t believe me?  Watch the news, listen to a mother or a father that has lost a child to school violence or bullying; they would do anything if they could go back and do something different.   Or maybe listen to the child who in reaction to the bullying, who took matters into his/her own hands and tried to retaliate only to end up in prison for years or for life.  That ought to convince you that taking drastic measures to protect your child or your family is a good thing.  You see, persistent bullying often spreads and becomes a contagious thing…affecting other family members or sometimes even others in the neighborhood.   It is serious, but things can be done to improve the situation; get good advice from law enforcement or safety experts on the matter.

Ok, remember that I mentioned that some of you wouldn’t make it this far because you think it doesn’t affect you.  These young people who are traumatized, or trained to protect themselves emotionally by closing off normal pathways of emotion, are going to grow up.  They are going to become doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers and nursing home supervisors, counselors and so on.

If their standards of what is acceptable, in relation to inappropriate levels of behavior have been damaged, are you going to want them caring for your grandchildren in day care, or taking care of one of your loved ones in a hospital or nursing home setting?  If they have learned to accept that kind of treatment in their own life, they surely won’t recognize it as inappropriate behavior in relation to others like yourself.  

Please, love on the youth today build them up and help them to be strong individuals in a healthy way; care for them, listen to them, protect them through legal channels and through school policies.  You won’t regret being proactive in the name of what is right!

           We usually do something different with our kids and have a fall harvest celebration.  If the weather is decent we will have a campfire and maybe we do something like put up a pinata with a minimum of candy to tickle their fancy; but, not enough to be obscene about how much candy they end up consuming.   It is a good idea to have some games planned and invite their friends.  Be prepared for loud and boisterous fun…but that is ok…they are supposed to be having a good time.

          My  main concern about this time of year  is safety and spiritual well-being.  Some Halloween revelers take things to a level glorifying evil and gore.    I don’t like all of the gore, the frightening costumes, the evil that seems to be celebrated by some.  Most of all, i don’t like how vulnerable the kids are to violence, to kidnapping, or to many of the other dangers that go along with the so called “holiday”.   I think it is a good time to remind parents to keep your kids close…minimize the danger that they are exposed to. 

       When it comes to costumes…make sure that they have some kind of reflective quality so that they can be seen in the low lighting conditions.  Have them carry a lighting device or a glow stick.  Go over reminders of safe street crossings and appropriate approaches to people’s homes and property.  There are some people who do not watch out for little ones crossing streets and sidewalks.  Then there are those who don’t appreciate kids and teens prancing across their lawns “begging for candy”. 

        Every year we hear of parties that have gone wrong and someone is killed or injured in a fight or in a case of over-reaction to a misunderstanding.  We hear about kids who go about doing destructive pranks and then their are the occasional people with emotional/anger/substance abuse issues who react violently.  We hear about teens horsing around and accidents happening where another in the crowd is injured or killed because things get out of control.  There are incidents of bullying or gang activity.  There are rapes…and kidnappings; children become lost or missing in communities; they are at risk for predators at this time of year especially when it is acceptable to be walking the streets with masks on and in disquise.  Large cities often have issues with “devil’s night” fires and looting. These things can be minimized if parents take steps to insure that they know where their kids are and what they are doing…as well as who they are with.

         It is wise to go out with your children if you are going to allow them to go trick or treating.   Don’t let them out of your site.  You really don’t know who to trust and who your child/teen will be meeting up with.  It seems weekly that there are reports of missing and or exploited children…noone wants their child to be one of them.  We have heard too any news stories recently about children who have been violated or murdered to just let them go off and wish them a good time.  Parenting responsibilities don’t end just because your kids may be able to go off with a crowd.  

        Even teens…God bless them can get caught up in situations that either are not in their best interest or that can endanger them.   Your teens probably won’t verbalize their appreciation if you take a protective stance about their activities…however, no one ever promised that parenting would win you any popularity contest, now did they?   Create an alternative environment for them to get together with their friends; but, still be supervised and protected.   Law enforcement officers will appreciate the help because they can’t be everywhere at once. 

        Mr. Trump had allegedly wanted to buy the company and take it private; but, it appears that the bond holders chose not to go that route.  It must be frustrating to have a company that is known by your name, but, have very little control over their actual business decisions. 

         I would think that most people would assume that something as large as the resorts and casinos with his name on it, is run by him; but, that has not been the case for many years.  Will the resorts having to file bankruptsy protection have a negative effect on the value of the Trump name?  I doubt it.   After all, it isn’t like it is a personal filing for bankruptsy.  The Trump name symbolizes making money and that is a strong association, that any business would love to have.   If Donald Trump were to somehow remove his name from that business, now that he no longer has a business association with it; I wonder what kind of effect it would have on the business itself?  

         How much is a name worth?  I mean…if it is your name; and you don’t have any business association with a certain company, or any control over that company…would you somehow try to reclaim the value of your name?  That would be a difficult position for anyone to be in.    If you were a company that saw value in a name that was associated with your company…would you want to let it be removed?  That could be a tricky legal battle if it were pursued… in a court room.  Is there a limitation of time for allowing a company to use your name in a business deal, if it isn’t written in a contract?  I don’t know if that is something that was addressed in this particular business association between Donald Trump and the Trump Entertainment Resorts, or not.

        You have to wonder in these financially uncertain times, if the economy is the reason for the resorts having to file the bankruptsy protection; or, is it more a case of how the business is managed, rising business costs, internal power struggles, or some other undisclosed reason.  I mean…three times for filing?  Doesn’t that seem a bit over the top?  Is it even a wise move to continue trying to run a business that is struggling to that degree; knowing that the economy is on shaky ground?  After all, it isn’t like resorts and casinos are a necessity, in most people’s daily lives.  When most people are forced to watch their finances….trips, resorts, and entertainment or gamboling would seem like obvious areas to curb their spending.  Then again, maybe that is just my opinion.

        While abortion is a horror to me and i think it should be repellant to all human beings; that issues comes up at the very beginning of life.  There are other circumstances that need to be addressed as well. 

          There are issues such as injury, illness and those who fight for the right to commit suicide.  Life is precious at all stages.  Should we turn a blind eye to those who would turn out the light of another human being simply because they are infirmed, disabled, impaired, terminally ill or have no desire to live another moment?

            For those who truly believe in the sanctity of life…it gets a bit stickier for some when you enter into the idea of criminals who commit heinous crimes; and, the criminal justice system offers up the death penalty or death row for certain individuals who have been convicted of crimes that can dish out the death penalty as punnishment. 

        For me that is a bit trickier –i have not sorted out the boundaries of my beliefs on that.  Criminals who commit the most horrible, vile crimes….it is a struggle in my heart to remind myself that God says, “Vengence is mine sayeth the Lord”.  But, if that verse is applied strictly…then…punnishment will come later from God (in the meantime…life in prison without parole is the only recourse to prevent further tragedy).  

          On the other hand, there are scriptures that also talk about an eye for an eye…and if a man take a life he must also forfeit his.  So…this part of the sanctity of life, i am still working out in my mind and heart.  Until i have studied the issues more closely..i am going to err on the side of; Life is precious and must be protected…at the beginning of life, in the early part of life, in middle age, in the elder years and in all stages in between.

        The boys mother, Cindi Cook, forged a note saying she was the girls mother and gave consent for the abortion.  A judge said she was guilty of interferring with child custody and of breaking the parental notification law regarding abortion.  She will be in jail for a year now because of the guilty verdict.  There may be repercussions for the clinic involved as well; since they allegedly didn’t follow through and verify Cindi Cook’s claim of parentage of the teenaged girl. 

         She allegedly did all of this so that her son’s life wouldn’t be ruined… so that he could still go to college.  Ms. Cook persuaded the young girl to have the abortion; she allegedly was against the idea.  Without the young girls parental input…the baby was aborted a year ago in May.  The teenaged girl told her parents within the next month.  It is too bad that she couldn’t resist the pressure and the fear that Ms. Cook put on the young lady; but, she was only 16 and wasn’t allowed to confide in her parents.  It seems that she and her parents opposed the abortion…they are allegedly holding Ms. Cook responsible for pressuring her into it.  If the parents and the young lady opposed the abortion due to religious reasons…i can only imagine the devastation they must be feeling.  What a horrible position to be in.

       Now, I can understand the mother’s concern about her son’s future…however, why should  his future take precedence over the young lady or the unborn child?  It shouldn’t have taken precedence over them…every life is valuable.   She was wrong in every way possible to pressure a young, fearful girl; she was wrong to sign that form saying she was the young girls mother, she was wrong to put the young girl in a dangerous medical procedure without her parents permission, and she was wrong to dismiss the life of the child; much the way someone would swat an inconvient fly hovering over a Fourth of July potato salad.

         She was wrong by protecting her son’s future at the cost of a innocent baby’s life, or, by inflicting the physical and emotional devastation put on two young people who hurried into adult activities that resulted in real life adult consequences that they should have been encouraged to face.  Sure, she is going to have some time behind bars to think on her actions…but, the teens will have a lifetime of regrets and guilt to deal with…not to mention the grieving of their choices. 

       Does wanting to protect your child’s future of a college degree by encouraging a quick abortion make Cindi Cook mom of the year?  In my opinion, it doesn’t make her mother of the year and it certainly does not make her grandmother of the year.  That baby’s life, that was thrown away, would have progressed by this point to walking, talking and exploring the world.  That child would have celebrated it’s first birthday already!   If things were different, it might have even included hugs for a woman, called grandma, a woman who couldn’t let a little thing like a teen pregnancy come before her child’s chance at a college education!

       These numbers are horrible… even one baby is too many…but one out of 50?  A baby less than a week old is doing nothing beyond eating, sleeping, filling a diaper, and giving/receiving love.  Those beautiful little babies are so dependent on those around them to survive.  Imagine being abused from the very beginning of life; it is a cycle that will repeat itself over and over again if it isn’t stopped.

         Of course, i know in my logical mind about those who are so consumed with addictions and rebellion that they continue to use drugs and alcohol during pregnancy.  My heart is another matter.  I have children that were adopted who were victims of their parent’s drug and alcohol use while they were still forming in the womb.  It burdens those children everyday with learning disabilities, physical deformaties and or limitations, retardation, psychological well being, as well as having socially acceptable skills and life long medical problems.  Is it fair?  No!  Is it abuse?  Yes!   Read up here:  http://www.nofas.org/ or http://childwelfare.gov/.

         The news report went on to educate me further.  It seems that the neglect and abuse before the age of one includes things such as drug/alcohol use during pregnancy as well as after birth.  Trust me…i live with those results everyday.  My children were abused before birth and they struggle in ways most people don’t understand.  They are “special needs children” because of that abuse.  See this organization for information:  http://marchofdimes.com/.

           Then, the article informed me that those same babies that are abused/neglected, before the age of one, includes those situations where the mother did not receive proper, prenatal health care …or the mother did not follow up with doctor appointments and or normal health care during that first year.  Here is some helpful information:  http://kidshealth.org/ .

           Alot of those statistics, i am sure, are a direct result of the health care crisis in America.  Many people don’t have health care coverage.  Poverty is a huge player in this part of the scenerio.  I know money can prevent people from getting the check ups that they need.  To walk in the door at my doctor’s office it costs $84 per 15 minute visit.  Imagine a young mother (or father) having to take that infant in for care every other month or so plus the cost of immunizations.  Check with your local health departments for help with those costs.

           Some of the other statistics were infants under the age of one who did not have proper housing, food or clothing.  Again those numbers are influenced by the national economy.   Take a look at this:  http://feedthechildren.org. or http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/.

            My personal opinion is that a larger section of our population was left out of these statistics; those  little lives who are aborted each and every day.    Is not killing a young life just as abusive as  some of these other abuses/neglects?  The number of aborted babies, i would dare to say, would jump these numbers of abuse/neglect into the stratosphere.  Some would say that abortion is a personal/moral choice some say it is a political choice.   There are organizations that try to help, by offering alternatives to abortion, such as:   http://healthybeginnings.org/ or http://www.bethany.org .  Those who have been affected by abortion often need help healing from the trauma even years down the road.

        It is easier in our minds to dislike the person who physically/ verbally abuses, or neglects to feed or give emotional support to a young child; than it is to understand, that we all must play a part in changing things or we become a part of the problem.  Silence or inaction on these subjects is equal to condoning them.

           If you are able to support a young parent with physical or emotional help…do it.  If you are aware of drug/alcohol use in an expecting mother…educate her to the consequences,  seek medical intervention and/or report it if she refuses help.  If you see or suspect abuse report it; you might save a life.

             While i am trying to wrap my mind around these staggering numbers of affected people…i am also processing the idea of so many young lives being hurt just by being born.  What must we do?  We must make a positive impact on those around us.  We each have areas of influence where we can impact positive changes.  Take a look at this website for protecting children:  http://keepingkidssafetoday.com.

              We must take action.  We must continue to educate.  We must continue to stand between ignorance, addictions, abortion, poverty and plain old abuse and protect those who can’t protect themselves.  We must build up our programs of intervention with jobs, health care, anger management, parenting classes, drug and alcohol counseling, family planning/pregnancy counseling, mental health/counseling; and yes, when necessary even prosecution of those who would visit pain and neglect on our littlest and most helpless citizens.  After all, they can hardly do it themselves.