First off, I want to say that I did not join in or comment on her Twitter stream because I don’t think that she is looking so much for conversation about her choice to abort a pregnancy, as she is looking for agreement with her right to do so, as well as some notoriety.  She says that she was looking for support from her friends during the abortion. 

        See, the back story is that this woman has a 4 year old special needs son.  She lives with the child and her boyfriend (the father of this child she is trying to abort).  I wonder what he thinks…if he is as much in support of the public abortion as she is?  In her twitter stream she called this child she was carrying a “thing”, a thing that didn’t have sex organs yet; in relationship to another twitter persons tweet for life. 

         I am trying to imagine what a man would think about his child being called a thing?  What about grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins or the woman’s young son when he grows up…how do, or will, any of them feel about this abortion?  Should their opinions count?    How does abortion impact those who are in relationships with people who choose abortion as their path?  Does it create issues between them if they are in disagreement with the choice to have an abortion?

        According to the news articles that I have read, this adult woman had a first pregnancy which was allegedly life threatening to her.  She was “advised” not to get pregnant again because of that first pregnancy and the high risk that she endured.  So, from what I understand from the various articles on the subject…she decided that if she were to get pregnant again she would have an abortion to end it.  Obviously, whatever form of birth control they were using was not effective because she became pregnant.

       When she discovered that she was pregnant she allegedly tweeted that she was pregnant.  She found out early that she was indeed pregnant so that allowed her to use the chemical form of abortion called RU486.  Since she went this route…she has been tweeting the process.  Telling of the cramping, the bleeding, and all of the other gory details.  This process can take days.   This process of abortion can be  dangerous…but, she seems to believe that it is worth the risk. 

         I do not believe in abortion…and it seems to me that it is a gamble with her life either way…either from carrying the pregnancy as far as is humanly possible or, from having the abortion.   I would not wish a high risk pregnancy on anyone; however, I personally would have more respect for her had she tried to carry this baby to term.  Even if she did not want to raise the child…she could attempt to give it life and place the child for adoption.

        Some people have been very supportive of what she is doing…others are not.  After all, abortion is a very polarizing subject.  People react according to their personal beliefs, experiences,  and values.  This woman also says that she is an athiest.   From my visit to her Twitter stream I found her to be not only vocal about the abortion but also about religion and other subjects, such as foster care.  She like anyone in America has a right to voice her opinion.  Yet, she uses language that many would deem vulgar or filled with obsenities; hardly language that one would use to try to educate or pursuade another person towards their way of thinking on a particular subject.    She allegedly says that she is astonished at the level of reaction and attention that her attempt to “educate” people about abortion has attracted.

        I find that hard to believe.  I don’t think that you choose to go against traditional beliefs, values, and lifestyle without expecting others to have a strong reaction to it.  I happen to believe that for whatever reason, the very fact that many other people find her actions (regarding the abortion) and beliefs (religion) so wrong and offensive, gives her a sense of, her against the world… and I think in her mind, it empowers her.   Especially when those who oppose her strongly, wrongly attack her personally in their objection to what she has chosen to do.  Unfortunately, it seems that some people have even threatened her life…not only is that wrong…it is illegal.  The authorities will be involved in those situations appropriately, I am sure. 

       Understand, she is going to do what she wants to do; what we in this country have legally allowed her and any other woman that chooses to; and, that is to be able to legally abort the life of her child.  However, I myself do not wish to be watching her do what I myself find personally wrong.  I do believe in God and I believe in spiritual consequences.  She says that she doesn’t believe in God.  That is probably true…because I dont think it is easy to do what she is doing and have a close relationship with God…who i believe is the author of life. 

         A great number of women who have abortions suffer in later years because of their decision to abort.  They have emotional, physical and spiritual damage to their beings.  Some do not and continue to go on and have repeat abortions according to what their conscience dictates.  Legally this is allowed in the United States; it is unfortunate in my opinion.

        She doesn’t appear to care about my opinion or anyone elses probably.  By giving her more attention, it feeds the flames.  However, in my opinion the taking of the life of her child and throwing it away is wrong.  Once the child was conceived…it should have the right to be born.   What if she gets pregnant again in the future?  Why not pursue a permanent solution to her pregnancy potential?

          What about her life…the one that potentially could be threatened should she try to carry the baby (she calls it cells)?  Calling the baby a clump of cells is an attempt to deny the value of the life she carried.  Well, in my opinion…once she was told that it would be life threatening, in the future, for her to become pregnant; then, if she felt that she needed to protect her life…she either should have avoided sex (not practical) or she should have sought some permanent means of birth control such as having her tubes tied, or having a partial hysterectomy… or by choosing a sexual partner who had also taken drastic means of curbing the possibility of creating a pregnancy.   A combination of those choices would have ensured that she would not have become pregnant. 

         This whole subject opens to the door to a discussion about social media and what is acceptable, what will be allowed…what will people endorse or reject.  What are the socially acceptable standards or limitations?  Will we see someone comitting crimes and tweeting about it?  Or posting it on Facebook, or Myspace?  It is the testing of those limits that creates this drive to be the person that pushes the envelope.  It creates a media sensation or a backwards sort of fame.   It is horribly sad to me that in this case it was at the expense of the life of an unborn child.  What are your thoughts?

      The new information being released to the public states that Caylee was found inside of a laundry bag, which was placed inside of a plastic bag and dumped in a wooded area not far from where she lived with her mother and grandparents.

         Inside of those bags, was a winnie the pooh blanket, pull ups, a knife, a backpack that said adorable and Caylee’s body.  She had duct tape over her mouth that also had residue from a sticker that was heart shaped.  The duct tape went over her mouth and was stuck in her hair as well.

           Her mouth was duct taped people!   The psychological implications of that is terrible.  It says alot.  It says, to me, that she was murdered by someone that she knew…someone that she could tell others about.  Someone who was suposed to care about her, ie: the heart sticker, the comfort items such as the winnie the pooh blanket, pull ups, and her backpack, put her inside of those bags and left her with items that would, in other circumstances, bring her comfort.   Then they put a heart sticker on the duct tape that covered her mouth? 

        What conflicting information does this give us about the person who killed a two year old child?  Did they love her or didn’t they?  How could they murder her and leave her body laying about like a bag of garbage to be disposed of?  Who knows what; and, why didn’t they tell what they knew? 

     In the end, forensic testing is going to tell us alot about what happened to Caylee.  I think between the evidence found at the site where her body was found as well as the evidence taken from the Anthony home will reveal alot.  The computers that family and friends of Caylee use will reveal more information…maybe enough to piece together what really happened to this beautiful child who would have turned three that summer.   It is nothing but sadness…because this case does not have a happy ending…Caylee is gone…and so far, her murderer is not known without a doubt.

         In any case, when she first came on the show…she play a mischievous con woman with a twinkle in her eyes and a lilting smile on her lips.  She was involved with the “carney” as she called it…the close knit group of people who float from town- to- town when the carnivals come to make a living.  Over the years, the character Myrtle took on a different personna.  She became the favorite quirky aunt that the younger relatives loved and admired and went to for advice much to the consternation of the older generations.  The older relatives and friends just could not predict what would come out of her mouth…whether her advice to “Erica Kane”, played by the wonderful Susan Lucci, would be appropriate or encourage the young woman to greater misdeeds.

          In the last decade or so…Myrtle took the place of trusted advisor to Erica Kane.  Erica’s mother Mona had passed away…so Myrtle became the foil to the willful Erica; giving her advice that was spot on…but most of the time Erica knew this but did her own thing anyway.  She was loving and affectionate towards Myrtle which helped the viewer’s fall in love with the new role that Myrtle played with their favorite vixen, Erica.

         We will be missing the character Myrtle…but…because the woman behind her was such a wonderful actress…Eileen Herlie will be sadly missed as well.  That is a tribute that every actor/actress wants to hear…that they played the character so well…that in the eyes of the audience…they became that very same character.  So, we grieve the passing of  “auntie” Myrtle (Eileen); she was part of the family.  I know it was just a soap opera…but, it feels a little bit sad.   May you rest in the arms of God in peace!

        Think about it…what if cousin Ralph committed a crime and was photographed for a magazine, making sure to give an interview which made a connection between his name and your’s in the article; or, your sister decided to become a singer (and she howled like your neighbor’s hunting dog) but still, she badgered your professional contacts to try to get an audition; or say, your Grandma decided to go on a talk show and talk about her sex life before she married Grandpa?  Maybe your father wants to write a best seller that very closely resembles your life pre-celeb days? Or a relative goes on a large shopping spree that they can’t possibly afford to pay for on their own?   How would you handle it?

         In today’s world, with everyone having access to so much digital information…if you are a celebrity, and the media decides to do a little digging…they are sure to find some family member, friend from the past, or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who is more than ready, willing and able to spill the beans for a little $$$.  What’s more…you don’t even have to wait for the media to find those who are willing to spill the beans for a fee…your relatives can go viral just by publishing a blog.

          You don’t have to look far to see examples of what I am talking about.  After all, there are painful family issues that allegedly haven’t been able to be resolved in private, such as families like the Lohans who make the news regularily, with custody battles, blog posts, or writting letters to media outlets criticizing one another; rehashing the past and the present family problems.  These issues are deeply personal and have the ability to cause life long discord with in a family unit.  

           Then you have the media’s flavor of the month, the Spears family.  Either they focus on the latest exploits of Brit, Jamie Lynn, her mother, father or ex-husbands and boyfriends or they hint at some kind of rumor that vaguely resembles a sliver of truth and wait to see the fireworks.  You can understand the potential added damage done to an individual when there is intensive media scrutiny focussed on them. There is enough family drama in most families, without having to create an intense watch and see environment.

           What about family members who stay in the background until they have shopped around the possibility of writing a tell all book…like Oprah’s father, allegedly considered doing?  Or a little less reclusive personality, such as…Madonna’s brother, Christopher Ciccone who actually did write a book recently, detailing his complicated relationship with his sister.  Remember many years ago, the explosive book called Mommy Dearest, written by Joan Crawford’s daughter about her very famous mother?

           We’ve all seen that the tabloids will exploit a family member’s run- in with the law.  Or, maybe a business owner or individual who slaps a lawsuit on a family member of a celeb, knowing that it will get settled because of the negative PR.   A recent example of a legal situation was when Hulk Hogan’s son was sent to jail for allegedly being the driver in an accident that seriously injured one of his friends.  All the while, his family was going through a seperation/divorce and the media attention only added to their personal difficulties.  This fed the flames of many articles and celebrity gossip shows for many weeks.

            There is never a lack of divorce related stories or custody issues either.  We have come to know more about certain star crossed couples, and their problems, than we need to know; think of Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, or Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, Pamela Anderson and any of her exes.  In these cases, many times the courts are often at fault for allowing legal records to become released to the public through the media; that is why you occasionally hear of circumstances where divorcing couples use a private mediator to settle their marriage issues.  Sometimes it is through individuals or their family members that we learn what is often harmful to the well-being of the couples or their children.  I am sure in the long run they come to regret the fact that so much private information has become public knowledge. 

            What about those situations where family members are estranged from one another and they use the media to communicate with each other about family issues.  I think about in that case, Angelina Jolie and her father.  Or, maybe Kellie Pickler who had a difficult relationship with her estranged birth mother.   Or Jennifer Anniston and her mother who allegedly became estranged, from one another, over too much personal information being given out. 

           Some celebrities don’t publically acknowledge their family problems…others confront them head on.  Which way is most effective for them, sort of depends on why the violations take place in the first place.  Some celebs feel that they must go public and defend themselves and others…keep a quiet counsel and deal with things privately.  It is not easy either way.  The power of criticism is strong…and you can’t please everyone, no matter what action a celebrity chooses to employ to deal with the fallout. 

           Regardless of celebrity status…it is helpful to remember that those people are human beings with feelings too.  They have relationships that can be damaged, and, they are often afforded little privacy as it is.  You would think that their family members would have a little bit of loyalty and a desire to keep some issues private; and, not turn their private relationships into some sort of pay- per- view.  But often, these situations aren’t JUST about money.  Sometimes, the interviews and books are written out of more complex issues; such as, unresolved issues involving trust, envy, control, anger, betrayal, neglect, abandonment or favoritism.  So when you see one of these interviews or books; remember that it might be more about getting even, than it is about getting rich!

           Certainly, the people who publish the reports, interviews, books, and celeb gossip programs aren’t going to keep potentially scandulous information to themselves; not when it is their bread and butter.  So think about that, the next time you purchase one of the tabloids, weekly celeb mags, tune in to the gossip programs, or purchase the latest personal memoir about someone famous; you are enabling them to sell out their own family members.  What if your friends or relatives did that to you?  What kind of tales could they tell about you to allow them to make money off from you or your past?

       When families had to seek jobs and living conditions that allowed them to survive; they were often seperated from one another.  In those days and before…when family had to become distanced from one another they kept in contact by writing letters, journals or diaries; or in cases of emergency, they sent a telegram.  Phones became the next form of communication and true to form; technology is leading the edge of communication in today’s relationships.  Cell phones, email, computers with instant chat, faxes combined with air travel, train, busses and boats are our links to one another.  Many families just don’t have the advantage of living as close to one another as they would like to be physically present in each other’s daily lives.  Because families don’t get lots of time together…alot of our conversations are spent on surface things…or skimming the surface of what’s happening with one another. 

        It doesn’t go without notice that many people are surrounded by lots of people but are lonelier than they have ever felt.  Family support, often is non-existant; or ,not consistent enough to give children a foundation upon which to build their own families when the time comes.  Divorce has played a part…but, we all crave closeness and support in spite of such adversities.

       That is why i have been interested to hear about those who are finding ways of reaching out to their family and friends in ways that will cement their relationships, in no uncertain terms.  Last winter, i took a course on documenting memories or experiences in a written form; so that future generations can have a window into how we each thought, felt, or acted in any given circumstance.  The instructor just happened to be my former kindergarten teacher who i was reconnecting with some 30 odd years later .  She impressed upon us all the value of passing on memories and experiences to those that we cherished in our lives. 

      This week i heard about a celebrity who was doing something similar, in his own way.  Sidney Poitier has written a book for his great granddaughter.  He decided to write down things of importance for him to share with his granddaughter.  He is in his 80′s and his great granddaughter is now somewhere around 2 or 3 years of age.  He talks of how he was moved to put into written word, things that had relevance for him to communicate to his family member when he was standing in the room with four generations of his family after her birth. 

       Why do we wait until some monumentual moment in our lives to make these decisions; we all have value to share with one another.  It is a form of sharing and caring to be able to “talk” about issues that are near and dear to our hearts with those that we love.  It is our legacy to each other.  When we are gone…everything we think and feel goes with us; unless we have taken action to preserve such things.  Who do you wish to connect with; and what is it that you wish to tell them?  Don’t waste another moment…make the time…it doesn’t have to be a novel…don’t worry about grammar or form…just write it down…you will be glad that you did.  The words you leave behind may just help to influence the next generation when all of the “other” voices they hear may not have their best interest at heart like you do!

          The testimony about the young girl on tape is conflicting.  Friends, relatives and co-workers are in disagreement over whether the girl in question is the young girl that the prosecutors say it is.  Some say it is her and others say it is not; for the record…she denies that it is her.   That is important because at the time of the video, that young girl was approximately 13-15 years of age.  That is definately a crime.  It has been ten years and the young lady says it is not her on tape; R. Kelly also allegedly says it isn’t her (or him for that matter).

        R. Kelly says that it is not him on the tape because he has a mole on his back and the man on the tape does not.  A video expert allegedly says that yes there is a mole on the tape and that the video has not been altered.

        The background of the video is extremely familiar to those who knew him back then, as a room in the house that R. Kelly owned at that time.  The young girl was in his acquaintance in those years.  A friend of the girl has identified her as the woman on the tape.  She knew her quite well at the time that the video would have been filmed.

         Another witness says that she participated in a three way relationship with R. Kelly and the girl when she herself was 18 years old.  She also supposedly says that R. Kelly was never far from a bag that he carried full of video tapes of sexually explicit images.   Also, some have spoken of his often discussed, alleged, secret marriage to Aliyah ( deceased singer) when she was just 15 years old.

          The outcome of this trial is serious business…if proven guilty…R. Kelly could spend 15 years in prison.