Once again a news story breaks my heart because of unnecessary violence. A man by the name of Troy Ryan Bellar who lived in Florida shot and killed most of his immediate family. The family lived in Florida and evidently was in the middle of a domestic dispute. The reason for the violence has not been fully disclosed. This man chased his 13 year old son around the garage and was firing a high powered gun at him. His wife tried to leave the home with her 5 month and 7 year old sons. He killed all three of them; while his 13 year old son escaped to a home in the neighborhood. Five lives were destroyed or damaged by a moment of rage and a lack of self-control. It leaves many others, in the neighborhood, family and friends, hurt and confused.
This man allegedly already had a record for assault and for driving under the influence in previous years. His wife was also allegedly arrested in the last couple of months for domestic violence. This family evidently struggled with these issues. Was there no intervention? I am sure that there must have been someone, somewhere who was concerned about these family members and what they were going through. If measures were taken to help or intervene; then, for whatever reason…it was not successful. It is a terrible thing when people who supposedly love each other can cause so much hurt and destruction to the people that they claim to love.
The 13 year old will be staying with family news reports say. However, he will need much help to process what happened to his family. He will need intervention to overcome the damage that was done to his heart and his soul. Abuse is a painful merry-go-round; that if not stopped, will continue to destroy. I pray that this young fellow gets intensive counseling to help him heal, not only the terror that he experienced…but, quite probably the survivor’s guilt that most people who survive such situations experience; so that he can somehow find the strength to go on and live a happy and productive life, free from domestic violence. After all, how can anyone expect a person who was hunted by his father, a person that most children expect to protect them from violence, to ever find it comfortable to trust another human being? This will impact the rest of his life in ways too difficult to count.
The questions that run through a person’s mind about how a father can pick up a weapon and shoot and kill his children and his wife and himself; are questions that really can never be answered, with a satisfying answer. It is hard for adults to understand, let alone a child. And yet, for his healing and recovery…there has to be some kind of explanation; whether it be drugs/alcohol addiction, mental illness, or anger management issues that were not treated successfully. He will need to ask those questions and have some kind of answer that can help him to “understand…the impossible to understand”.
True love doesn’t intentionally seek to hurt or destroy. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5.) It is not rude, it is not sel-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, 6.) Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. 7.) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8.) Love never fails. If a relationship is filled with regular moments of violence, control, humiliation, emotional or verbal abuse…then, that is a toxic relationship; it is not a healthy love relationship. People in that situation need an intervention by medical and psychological professionals; as well as law enforcement, clergy, and court personnel. Please, help break the chain of violence.
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